Jackie
It's been three years…three of the longest years if my life…
After Steven and the whore moved back to the Fornans', Fez got a new roommate-his old girlfriend, that crazy Caroline girl. It was more than a year ago that the Gang, even Michael, realized that we hadn't heard from Fez in months. At first, Eric and I went to their apartment(Michael wanted to help but he had Betsy for the weekend). Some stranger answered the door-he'd never heard of Fez or Caroline.
We then found that landlord-that Fenton guy, who first congratulated Eric and me on still being together. Neither of us corrected him, and he explained that they had moved out some months before. Considering Caroline's…behavior, our next stop was the Police-when we were roommates, he'd let slip that his host parents were horrible, and since we'd never met his family, and they didn't live in the US anyway…they probably wouldn't know or care what happened to him.
Because of Steven and Sam, I mean, the whore, we timed our visits to the Formans' to avoid them. We found out what happened to Fez during the next visit. Because of him being married to that bitch, I mean Laurie, the Formans were his official next of kin. Things had been tense with Mr. and Mrs. Forman, but Mrs. Forman told Eric and me what had happened. Caroline was then undergoing psychiatric evaluations (and eventually sentenced to an institution for the criminally insane). Apparently, she and Fez had been a couple again, but his new "playboy" act...irritated her. After she'd caught him with another woman, she'd knocked him out and taken him to her parents' house. They, unfortunately for him, had been on some sort of extended European vacation and were gone for the better part of a year. That psycho had been keeping him as a prisoner in a pit in their basement. He was so traumatized that, after testifying at her commitment hearing, he almost immediately went back to his homeland, wherever that is, leaving a trail of broken hears behind him-Patty, Laurie, and Nina come to mind. At least I had more sense! Fez writes to Michael though. The big news was that he was glad he missed out on some war there. I'm still insulted by him-he didn't let me say goodbye to him. Me! Jackie Burkhart! The nerve! Eric talked me down though, he must have been really out if it to not want to see me or the Formans, bur mostly me. I did catch a smirk when Mr. Forman found out he was leaving, though, he like everyone, was outraged about what Fez went through.
Michael misses his buddy. It's actually a little endearing. Fortunately, he's got a lot of distractions. He's, from what I've seen, a pretty good father to Betsy. When he's not guarding or policing stuff, he goes on a lot of dates-he and Brooke tried being a couple, but they just didn't work, so he has fun with other women, but not around Brooke or Betsy, so maybe he has grown up a little.
Bob has a lot of fun running his bait shop in Florida, and dating women who are fortunately not my mother. Those weeks were just ewww!
Donna, my former best friend, married Randy, and they live in New York City. Then there's her wedding! Eric and me weren't even invited! I am prettier than her, but still… The sl..Sam was actually her maid of honor! After all we went through! The nerve! After all I did for her! From helping her with Eric to improving her wardrobe and our bedroom… Eric says to just ignore it, and I try, but sometimes…I guess I'm grieving. It was nice for a few years-having a non-judgy friend, unlike my other so-called "friends," the cheerleaders. Hmm...Wow! I guess I'm okay with that relationship now. Maybe I am getting over him.
And then there's Steven, the guy I honestly thought I'd end up with…that guy is just…gone now. Mr. Barnett set them up in Milwaukee-Steven scouts bands, and I don't know or care what Sam does. Since they're in Milwaukee now, Eric and me can visit his parents whenever.
Apparently, Donna and Randy see Steven and Sam when the former are over here in Wisconsin, but not the rest of us. They really deserve each other these days. Though Randy didn't seem too horrible. I mean, he was the only guy besides Casey she's been with who was more masculine than she was. I wonder if he'll ever see that…never mind.
I only hear about Bob, Donna, and Steven from Mrs. Forman when she's had one too many Manhattans, which seems to happen more often these days.
Eventually, she and Mr. Forman tired of having Steven and Sam in the house. Apparently, the last straw involved a "client" of hers coming over. Mr. Forman's reaction wasn't pretty… so now they've got that place in Milwaukee.
The Formans actually apologized after the Hydes left. We accepted, but the sight of Mr. Forman actually apologizing to Eric…I'll never forget it. I wonder if he was drunk or had had some Special brownies again. After that, things were, more or less, back to normal again with them, though Mr. Forman was a little…uneasy about me and Eric living together since we're not married, or even a couple. I did end up meeting more of Eric's family, in passing-Mrs. Forman's sister Paula and Mr. Forman's brothers Jerry and Marty. Aunt Paula and me get along well-while diamonds are a girl's best friend, makeup is a close second.
As for Eric and me…living together is working out fine. Sure, we have disagreements, but, eventually, he sees how right I am and stops arguing.
My parents…uggh. After Daddy finished his time in the halfway house, he and my mother just took what money they could and left the country with just a phone call to me. I was mad…Eric said it was like what he'd told told about when I kicked Laurie's ass, and that I could think of his family as mine as well. But he talked me down and held me, and we just fell asleep on the couch watching a movie.
About a year after we moved in together, his great-aunt, Mrs. Forman's father's sister, Pearl, died. It hit him a lot harder than he thought it would. They didn't see each other all that much, but she wasn't exactly Mr. Forman's biggest fan, so that was a point in her favor in Eric's view. It was still another reminder to him that life is short and it was another loss from the family.
We started seeing movies together, switching who got to pick. In June, I decided that we should see Risky Business. Tom Cruise was cute, but we both agreed that if Eric and the guys had tried that stunt, Mr. Forman would have finally carried out the foot-in-ass threats he's been making all these years. We both wanted to see Trading Places, which was a lot of fun. A few months later, he got to choose, and there was only one movie he wanted to see, even after I begged him not to and even offered to do his share of the housework for a month. Return of the Jedi. He liked it, though he was disappointed that Luke and Leia were siblings. When I asked him about his favorite scene, he mumbled something about the prison barge, and he seemed a little out of it-I thought he was thinking about Princess Leia. Of course, he immediately looked at me and blushed. Well, I guess there's worse comparisons…She's not only a Princess, but she kicks ass too!
I guess Eric and I are closer now, closer than I'd ever thought we'd be back in the '70s. And I'm okay with that.
With Africa and him taking classes during the summer, he's gonna finish his degree in a few months. He's driving me a little crazy trying to figure out what grade he wants to teach. I can really do without all the Pro/Con lists and pacing.
As for me…I'm also going to college, part time for now, but I'm going for my meteorology degree, that way EVERYONE can see how cute I am giving them their future weather. I was sad about going to a public school, being with the poors-I am a Burkhart after all…then Eric started going on "One of us, one of us…" and, for some reason, it was funny. It's been more lonely in a sense-Donna was my only close female friend, and now she's gone. I don't see my cheerleader friends anymore, and they're all two-faced bitches anyway. Mrs. Forman is nice, but she's old, and Brooke is in Chicago, dealing with a four-year-old and Michael, who acts just like a four-year-old. It must be exhausting. I talk with my classmates too, but it's not the same.
Then came tonight's Christmas Party. Everybody was invited, but Donna, Randy, Steven, and Sam were nowhere to be found. With Michael and Betsy coming only briefly, it was just me, and Eric, and his extended family. I actually had a conversation with Mrs. Forman's mother, though I was warned ahead of time. She seemed to remind me of how Donna used to treat Eric, with the loud, abrasive nagging. No wonder her husband was an alcoholic! On the plus side, she didn't like Donna, so there's that…
After helping Mrs. Forman set up and milling around for an hour or so, I was standing around, trying not to look uncomfortable, when she approached me.
"Who are you?"she interrogated.
"I'm Jackie…I came with Eric. I think we met at Thanksgiving a few years ago," I informed her.
"Oh, okay. You're Eric's girlfriend…such a step up from that, that skogsarbetare he was with before…" Bea replied, satisfied. Smart lady.
"Yeah, I would be, but we're not a couple…"
"What?! Kitty says my grandson talks about you all the time, and you are living together…In my day…" she trailed off, like old people do.
."Sorry, nope, we're just friends…"
"You're definitely pretty, but you've got to use that head of yours too. Who are you trying to convince? Me, or yourself, or my drunken daughter…Speaking of, I have to find her before she finishes off all the Kaluha…Kitty! Paula!" Bea said before walking off to find her daughters.
I sorted out my thoughts. Maybe there's an upside to having an absent mother. Huh…Eric and me are around each other all the time, and I know he's into relationships the same way I am, and we talk all the time, and he's actually a good roommate, and then there's New Year's 1980-he could of tried something then and didn't. He is kinda cute, especially when I think about running my fingers through his hair and those green eyes…
I'm in love with Eric!
Eric Forman!
I almost collapsed.
Younger me would have been horrified! A nerd! Really?! Then I would have considered Donna-that whole "not dating your best friend's ex" thing. But, we're not really friends anymore, and, in any event, we're adults now not teenagers, so, even if we were, I'd date him anyway, and if she was mature enough as she claimed to be, she'd accept it.
Oh no! What'll everyone think? Wait, I don't talk with the cheerleaders, Donna and Sam aren't my friends, Steven even moreso, Fez is gone, and Michael's the man whore of Chicago. It doesn't matter anymore! It doesn't! Now to tell him! He's not gonna be able to resist Jackie Burkhart! She always get what she wants!
I found him talking to some guy I'd never seen before-a tall, dark-blonde haired man who was starting to gray, with a resemblance to Mrs. Forman's father. "Hi Eric," I said.
With a slight grin, he asked, "Jackie…Have you met my Uncle Frank?"
"No…"
We exchanged pleasantries, before Eric explained, "He's mom's brother."
"Your mom has a brother?" I asked, shocked, because he'd never been mentioned before.
"Yeah, where did you think Penny came from?" he answered with a shudder.
"Oh, okay," I replied, trying not to smirk. Eric's reaction was understandable, considering the whole incest Burn thing a few years ago. Don't get me wrong, Penny really Burned him, but the whole incest thing was just…eww. "Anyway, I think we need to talk in private."
Catching the implication, but curious about what was going on, "Okaaay. Excuse me, Uncle Frank," said Eric as his uncle sent us off with a nod. He told his mother we were leaving, and we left and got to the apartment while he explained about Penny and why she and her mother stayed in Florida. After getting in and taking off our coats, we sat facing each other on the living room sofa. "What's up?" he asked me.
"Well, I was talking with your grandmother…"
"What did she do now?" he groaned, putting his face in his hands.
"Nothing bad. In fact, I think it's pretty good, but it depends on you."
He sat back up, asking "How?" and raising an eyebrow.
"We were talking, and she made me realize something about you."
"What?" Eric asked, seemingly oblivious about what was to come.
Here we go…
"I think it's been building for a while, but I think I have feelings for you. And have for a while now," I confessed.
"What?!" he exclaimed, dumbfounded.
He should be so lucky that I love him! I'm almost offended that Eric's not groveling.
"I'm in love with you, you dumbass!" I screamed.
"But, but, but…" he started sputtering. Cute, even if annoying. Boys are so difficult sometimes! I leaned over to him and kissed him gently on the lips. That certainly snapped him out of it.
He just looked at me and…something else came over him.
Eric leaned over to me so that we could look into each other's eyes, which we did for a moment before he leaned in further, and we started kissing.
Sometime later, we stopped, hair thoroughly mussed, and he sat back up and asked, "So, can I take you on that date sometime?"
I looked into his eyes and answered, "You better."
"So, since we live in the middle-of-nowhere-Wisconsin and all the restaurants are closed, what do you wanna do now?" asked Eric.
We paused and just looked at each other for a moment..
Eric held out his left hand with his fingers spread apart and said, "You will take your top off."
After I had to sit through those movies… I rolled my eyes "Eric, the Jedi Mind Trick only works on the weak-minded." Both of us knowing full well that I'm anything but."
We both looked at each other, and while I shouted out, "Michael!" he yelled, "Kelso!" and we both laughed for a moment before he turned on the TV that we watched before falling asleep next to each other on the couch. It was a nice night, better than the last time we spent the night together and that wasn't exactly a low bar.
It was like all those nights before, spent next to each other, talking, sleeping, dreaming – but now we were finally together.
AN: As for Fez, I was initially thinking of Mindy Kaling's thoughts about the ultimate fate of Kelly/Ryan i.e. Kelly being obsessed with Ryan to the point of killing him but I wanted to keep it more light-hearted, with the Two and a Half Men version of the basement pit scenario rather than the original Silence of the Lambs version. Though, perhaps in this timeline, Thomas Harris heard about Fez's imprisonment and used it for in the Silence of the Lambs. Just to say it explicitly, Jackie now calls Hyde's wife by her name rather than an insulting epithet, which denotes her (grudging) acceptance of the marriage.Skogsarbetare (pronounced skog-sare-bee-at-reh) is Swedish for "lumberjack", at least according to Google Translate.
