When Rom left for Quark's he did not sense anything strange strange or unusual at first but then he heard a small soft shivery sob.

It was more of a sigh than a sob and even as Rom passed the Constable's Quarters it didn't dawn on him what he was hearing until he finally arrived to his brother's Bar by way of the promenade.

Odo was posed under a strange bronze structure that looked like a weird artistic representation of a child's playground.

It had fractal like connections that were held together by shiny silver bolts.

There was a single blond strand of hair that was flopped over sloppily to one side of his face.

He had his knees bent, his arm rested atop his left knee in such a way that his Left wrist lazily dangled there in mid air.

His expression was lost, his brow was forlorn and his eyes were impenetrable and hostile as steel.

He was so incredibly conflicted, he wanted to be angry at Taya but somehow Dukat's sickening smug grin kept popping up in his thoughts which returned those same feelings of rage he had felt in Taya's Quarters.

He thought about raging through his living area, smashing everything in sight just as he had done when he realized Kira would never love him.

He remembered Quark coming in unannounced fully intending to reprimand him for all the noise but instead Quark perceptively gave his advice instead. It had been kind advice, helpful advice even and Quark instinctually knew all about his feelings for Kira and Odo admitted for the first time to Quark that he was indeed in love with her.

He had smashed his special structure he used for shapeshifting, he tore through his own place with glasses shattering and sparks flying from the damaged circuit boards and consoles he had hit with his angry fists.

Everything was replaceable thank goodness and the next day out of the kindness of his invisible heart he had his whole living quarters soundproofed so as not to disturb Quark's ultra sensitive hearing to which Quark greatly appreciated even though Odo claimed it was merely a common courtesy.

Quark knew better and Odo knew full of that.

Quark knew it was a way of Odo showing his appreciation.

It was a big thank you from him and surprisingly it both touched and Flattered Quark that Odo had such thoughtful consideration for him.

There was no Quark this time, only his remorseful Solitude and his quiet rage that was beginning to mentally exhaust him at the moment.

He searched for his anger for her but he found none.

How could he be angry at her after all she had done and all the kindness she had shown him in the past?

She had literally given him the greatest compliment of his entire life and all he could do was rush out on her like a frightened little schoolboy and then stew over the fact how unlovable he felt at this moment.

He was missing his shift and the hopeless feeling that had fallen over him like a formidable shadow, made him indifferent to his own schedule.

He simply had to process what he was feeling.

Why was he so enraged with Dukat?

Dukat was literally everything he stood against, he was everything he strove not to be, everything he a avoided and refused to become.

He drove him to use brutal interrogation methods, he drove him to convict the innocent on merely circumstantial evidence, he drove him to feel no pain and no remorse for the people he demanded he Interrogate.

He remembered refusing Dukat's Demands but obviously he had given into them at some point.

He wracked his gelatinous mind trying to remember if he had actually ever tortured anyone.

He felt he must have at some point but the memories were proving to be far too difficult to grasp onto.

He couldn't seem to pinpoint a single individual incident in which he had done this but by the way his form rippled in his utter shame and guilt he knew he must have, it was just something too painful for him to recall even now after all these years.

Here was a girl who was so accustomed to their brutal torture methods that she literally had to create herself a new reality outside of her constant trauma on Cardassia and he worked under the same law and System.

So he wondered if she knew what he done and exactly what he was capable of would she still think of him so Fondly?

Was was so strange is it was almost as if he had wanted her to be recoil from him.

He hasn't wanted her to ne repulsed by him but he had expected, he had dreaded it but she had returned his raving rantings with the ultimate kindness of unconditional love.

This was love he felt he did not deserve.

He saw love in her eyes.

Why was this so terrifying to him?

It all started with Nerys a spunky yet plucky young resistance fighter, a born warrior and soilder, strong, fiercely independent and usually extremely over emotional.

Even after only speaking with her for a few moments something shifted inside him, there was a immovable rock that crumbled before her, his shields were lowered and for the first time he found he was capable of real complex emotions.

Her story had moved him in some strange way and even though it was his duty to turn her over to the Cardassians for rebellion against their empire but he saw her frightened expression and all he saw was the tender fear of a child.

She was innocent, she was nothing more than child who had been pretty much been forced into fighting for her people. She was just fighting for justice, she just wanted justice and that's exactly what he wanted to.

So he let her go.

He was beginning to think that that was the biggest mistake he had ever made in his life.

What if he had just reported her to Cardassian authority?

Would she have been executed or would she merely be relocated to another Bajoran Work camp?

Life couldn't have been easy for her in dark times such as those but still why had he found her so endearing that day?

Why had he let her go?

If he had known that nothing would have come of this decision except a broken friendship he would have just kept her in the brig till the firing squad came to claim her.

Then he recalled when she had finally read his report of the assassination on Gul Dukat, she flew into the room her eyes blazing brighter and far hotter than her hair.

She knew what he done. He had spared her life but not the lives of 3 innocent people.

Cardassia wanted justice, it was a lazy justice at that but still he did what was expected of him.

He had literally been trained to maintain order amongst choas but in his ambition he was blinded and 3 innocent people were executed in the process.

There was revulsion in her eyes, pure hatred and betrayal threatened to burst out at any moment.

She had hated him in that moment and she wanted him to promise him, that no harm had ever befallen anyone else because of him.

He couldn't give her that promise and the disappointment stung her eyes as she left his office.

During the occupation she would have laughed at such errors but now her face was no longer innocent and childish, it was cruel, vain and disgusted with him.

What made matters worse is he knew deep down that his natural liquid state bothered her.

She twitched when she smiled, she flinched when she touched her and even in their most intimate moments together, he never felt truly at peace and he never truly ever felt that he was actually at one with her.

Sometimes she'd force a smile whenever he'd mention his regeneration.

She gave him the same forced smile when he proudly used his bucket of shame for a flower vase.

"You're so cute sometimes Odo".

Nerys would mention to him occasionally.

He actually was quite elated by her attention but looking back cute is something you would use to describe a tribble and never him.

He wasn't cute, he wasn't even remotely handsome at least not in his eyes.

He once attempted to smile while he was in front of a mirror, he was alone at the time thank goodness and he nearly smashed the mirror to pieces after seeing his own reflection.

It was such a creepy and unsettling smile, almost as if he was some sort of hungry stalker, it was never quite right and his lips never quite curved the way he wanted them to.

Who could love this?

Odo contemplated miserably as he thought of his own grotesque appearence.

Don't be ridiculous, Odo, there is no love, there never was any love, what you saw was an illusion just everything else in your life. There was no love in her eyes, just as there was no love in Kira's heart for you.

The fact that you're not a solid didn't sit well with her. Maybe she wanted to love you but why love me when I'm that cute useful friend of hers that can follow her around like a loyal puppy dog. Admit it old man, she loved you like she's love a dog, she loved you like you loved that tribble.

Cute, misunderstood but still a meddlesome pest, that was me.

I remember being excited when she'd call me cute but that's not the same as calling me attractive.

Was she ever attracted to me?

No she never was attracted to me.

How could she?

I'm not Shakaar, I'm not Bareil and I'm definitely not Dukat.

I'm not handsome in any shape or form literally.

I can't even duplicate handsome even if I saw it right in front of me.

Everyone has noticed that I seem to be devolving instead of improving on my shapeshifting abilities.

Why can't I get those eyes out of my head? Those eyes of sincerity and that darn scar, it keeps flashing through my head. I want it to stop.

I can't seem to control my emotions when I'm around her and now I can hardly maintain my solid form whenever I'm with her.

I want to hate her but after her pretty much swearing her undying devotion and loyalty to me, I can't find even a single iota of hatred left in me, not for her anyway.

I wonder if that little Bajoran blessing worked.

I doubt it but it's better than having to sit here brooding over my broken past.

Odo angrily stood up and examined his face in the mirror.

"This is probably not even going to work but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to give it a try".

He spoke out loud to himself.

He wanted to replicate that scar but he decided against it, he chose instead to do as Taya had recommended; he'd start with the hand first.

He thought about what he wanted to improve about his hand.

Nothing came to mind nothing but Taya and that scar if hers.

He was just about to smash the mirror in frustration but then he gasped in utter incredulity at what he saw.

His hand was different, It wasn't his originally designed hand, the hand was smaller and far more delicate.

His hand bubbled back to normal.

He was so fascinated by this he did it again, this time with the intention of imitating someone he knew.

Bashir.

The hand fluidly shifted into the perfectly manicured hand of Bashir.

"Whaaat?! Wait, go back to the last one...the one before".

The hand was familiar now, he couldn't place it before but now he knew exactly who that hand belonged to; it was Taya's.

"But I wasn't even trying. I wasn't even making the effort.

What is this madness? What is this insanity? Am I actually losing my mind?

Maybe she's infected me with something. Madred did experiment with her by pumping her full of different types of radiation so maybe she somehow contaminated me with some polaran based chemical.

No it can't be polaran, Polran would prevent me from taking any shape whatsoever. Whatever she did it's actually doing the exact opposite. Is it possible that whatever she did is actually working?

Is it possible that whatever she did in that room of hers is actually helping me?"

Odo was so taken aback by this notion that he decided to experiment some more.

The hours went by and he hardly took notice as he shifted from one form to another with such ease and speed, he still felt he was dreaming even after the hundredth time of trying it.

What was this witchcraft and how could he get more of it?

He almost wanted to burst into her quarters and demand exactly why this was working and exactly why it was helping.

What had she done? It was miraculous. He had never been able to transform this easily before and solid forms were always a struggle especially when it came to sentient ones.

So maybe she wasn't trying sabotage anything afterall? Maybe she actually wants to help me.

I thought her strange power would make me weaker and far more vulnerable but its not, it's making me stronger.

I thought she'd break me, I thought she'd disrupt my shapeshifter abilities but somehow she's managed to improve them.

How can this be?

Maybe she's not actually trying to bring me down maybe she's just trying to help me face the truth, the truth about my own feelings and experiences I've had in the past.

She never was a threat to me.

She was only helping and I recoiled from her, I was actually afraid of her, I flinched at her touch, I backed away from her in fear.

Oh no what have I done?

I did the same thing everyone else has done to me, I acted as they acted, I revulsed, I was repulsed and recoiled from her and then I just ran from her.

That wasn't very nice of me I'll admit but still I treated her just as Nerys treated me.

I need to apologize, make it up to her somehow.

Perhaps I should even be nicer, more amiable maybe even kinder in some way.

She is my friend after all so it's time to start treating her like and it's time you started being a friend to her too.

Don't revert back to what you were Odo.

Pretty soon you'll be reverting to some abandoned Pah Wraithe cave in the Gamma Quadrant if you keep doing that.

Don't be pathetic just open up and... sing I guess.

Why did that just come to me?

I have no idea and I don't care.

I'm going to my office and I'm going to wait for her to report for duty as usual.

Oh Shit, I'm late.

This is not how I planned on starting my day.

Meanwhile Taya had been waiting to report for duty in his office for the last 4 hours, however she hadn't noticed because she had apparently fallen asleep somewhere shortly after she had arrived.

Odo slipped in through the doors and he almost threw a fit right then and there.

Taya was in his chair.