Odo stared at rhe security screen in a stunned sort of way but he wasn't even looking at the screen but rather he diving deep into his thoughts trying desperately to understand all he had said 5o her.
She was weapon just as I had thought before but even now I'm still not happy about it.
It brings me no pleasure to see her as a threat. Even now I know she means me no harm. I know somehow that she would never purposefully hurt me. All I feel is sympathy for her. I feel actual empathy for her past trauma.
Why shouldn't I?
She's been used and abused by everyone she's ever known. The whole entire Cardassian empire has taken advantage her, they never once considered her feelings, they just took what they wanted and then a abandoned her without a comfort in the world.
How can I hate such tragic creature?
I can't be angry at her because of what she did for me. She gave me something, something I've been searching for my entire life. She Taught me in an instant what the great link never could teach me in a lifetime.
I know how to control my abilities now and suddenly I understand my surroundings more. I understand who I am on this station and I understand everything I've ever wanted to become.
Odo noticed there was a notification blurb that popped up on his tablet,screen.
CARDASSIAN INTERROGATION FILE UPDATE COMPLETE.
Odo was puzzled by this because he hadn't requested interrogation records since she first got here.
He tapped the notification so the screen shifted to a pale orange backdrop and there appeared to be not only a few files but apparently there were thousands of files that had been uploaded onto the database. He felt like he was scrolling forever so he quickly decided to push the scroll up button that was located on the left corner of the screen.
"1,251 files! Egads! Who's idea was it to upload this many files at one time?! This is simply unheard of."
He decided to tap the First file that was on the top of the list.
ELIM GARAK INTERROGATION 632
The subject was found with an unnatural desire to write her thoughts and feelings down. She has specifically requested that such writing tools and writing material be accessible on a regular basis.
I will of course grant her request as her writing is impressive and eloquent, I often find myself enjoying her words but as of late her words have taken a rather dark turn. Her journals are troubled, they seem to be centered on strong physical emotions and descriptions are graphic and often explicit in nature. I will attach a file of her work in each of my reports for future reference. These journals are not mere diary entries but rather dark fictional stories regarding Changelings. These stories include elements of grief, betrayal, exreme hatred and uncomfortable guilt. I fear to ever show these journals to Madred so I have coded them in such a way that these journal entries will not be found unless I want them to.
Please whoever you are that is reading this do not show these entries to anyone. They are private and personal, they have a vast amount of delicate, sensitive and compromising information. Keep these a secret at all costs if necessary. Show these to No One!"
"Alright Garak I'll show them to no one. I mean come on Garak they can't be that bad".
Odo was greatly mistaken for as he opened the file he nearly dropped his tablet from his hand.
"I can't believe you don't care Odo. People have died. What is with you? I NEEDED You , those people out there needed you! You know you are so selfish Odo! I can't believe I trusted you and then you link with...THAT woman, that thing that's disguised as their Queen! How Could you Odo!"
Odo began to get rather squeamish.
This was a private conversation. A private conversation that he had had with Kira within his quarters. It was then he realized she never truly accepted him for who he was and even though his face looked peaceful and complacent at the time, he was greatly injured emotionally by the fact that his linking process had disgusted her.
She was disgusted by his liquid form, disgusted by his desire to merge with his people and not once had she been supportive of him embracing who he really was.
The question was how had she known to this? How did Taya know of this conversation?
"You know you can link with me Kira and I think you want to but you just don't know how to ask!"
"I never said that! I NEVER said that!! I would never say that!
What is this Claptrap?!"
Odo darted his outraged gaze around the room to see if anyone had noticed his display of audible indignation yet life outside his office on the Promenade was going on as usual.
"Link with you? Why would I ever link with you Odo...
Especially right now?!
Because right now You disgust me... just like Dukat, Dumar and Evek, and all the other Cardassian out there.I am so disappointed in you Odo.
You stand here as if you rule in some grand palace and you tell me you want to somehow permanently connect with me just because you love me! You Don't love me Odo and you know what? I don't love you! I NEVER have! I never will and you know it. So have fun with the great link Odo! I hope you aren't as disappointed and disgusted with it as I was with you!"
Odo grasped his chest that was threatening to liquify at any moment.
I'd never said that but maybe I had wanted to and maybe she had wanted to say that to me too. Maybe this isn't what happened but it's was what really happened inside both of our heads. Maybe it's even what should have happened.
Odo continued to read despite after that devastating discovery.
"The love of his life entered his personal quarters, to find his posture broken and his face defeated by devastating rage and grief. The room had been torn by the hurricane of emotions which had shifted into a Tsunami of thoughts and words he had kept bottled up inside for so long.
There was nothing to keep this rage from spilling all over the place, the silent rage he had sewn up tightly as an open wound, he covered his injuries with insufficient self talk that was riddled with guilt and shame. Now the guilt and shame had torn him apart at the seams, the wound was exsposed and inside it was rotting, rotting from the rage and disgust he had for himself. There was no peace, there was never any peace beyond this storm of Security details and Sassy Bajorans, he wanted peace, he longed for it, he craved and hungered for that touch of ultimate peace like the one he had felt with the great link.
"Constable are you alright?"
The love of his life said her voice falling upon him like long awaited rain during a season of drought.
He couldn't deny the comfort he felt to hear her serenely blissful voice.
"Does it look like I'm alright?"
The Constable spoke sharply towards her.
"My best friend and the love of my life has walked out on me and informs me that I'm apparently responsible for multiple deaths on this station! I have to meet up with Dukat, Damar and Weyoun every day and for what?
For having the only person I care about walk out on me in disgust and disappointment! I didn't sign up for this, All I ever wanted was to be a accepted and respected for who I am, not by who my people are or for what I profess to be in this present form. I thought I wanted to be a solid but I never wanted that, All I ever wanted was to be treated like I am a solid. When I first came here I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't even know who I was I just assumed it would all fall into place and it almost did but now I'm back t9 square one. I'm miserably, hopelessly and completely...alone. Now I have to accept that I always will be. You see I never fit in with any of the other solids, I tried to connect with the great link and for awhile it felt like home but then they threw me to the curb as if were nothing as if I meant nothing and then I was alone again. So now I don't belong anywhere and Need to come to terms that perhaps it is my destiny never to belong to anywhere.
I've searched and I've searched and there isn't even a single crevice or corner I can be at peace in. There is never any peace, I can never find it, I reach for it but the moment I touch it disappears".
His voice was devastatingly dynamic, dramatic and undeniably heartbroken.
"Constable, I know your destiny, I know because I've seen it and it is a beautiful destiny at that. What's more is you are never alone in any of it, you always have a hand on your shoulder, a warm hand guiding you through this life and the next, from one galaxy to another, you are loved Odo. You are respected and accepted for who you are.
You are lovable, so lovable but you're just troubled by your own tortured emotions. You are a jumble, you are all scrambled inside because you are a complex sentiment being but you aren't invincible Odo, you are vulnerable, so vulnerable but that's okay, you don't need to always be in charge or be on top of every little detail. You need connection and If Kira can't see that and she doesn't know and she doesn't have the heart to accept that fact then she doesn't deserve you. Your connection with your people is not a shameful thing. Connecting with your own people is beautiful. She will never understand not because she's a solid but because she chooses not to. All those hurtful words she chose to say and I hate to say it but she meant them, just as I mean these words. I don't see you as a changeling or a founder or even as a shapeshifter, I see you as person, you are solid to me. You have taught me how to feel real Odo, so I don't just see your face, I see past that,past any external appearance you might have or use, I look into your eyes and I see you."
"What do you mean you see me?"
"I see all of you Odo. I see everything and I can't help but stare because what I see is beautiful".
It then dawn on his gelatinous brain that she's confessing something to him, something very important.
"Kira can't link with you but I can. Would you like to link with me?"
"But I can't, you're a solid, it would be impossible-"
The words get garbled out by a gasp of shock.
His hand fuses perfectly together with his own, their flesh shifting to a translucent cream,the cream clears to reveal delicate fractals of nerve like veins,the two merging hands blend like paint in a cup of water.
There is a glow that ripples as sunlight reflects beneath the water of a swimming pool.
"How are you doing that? How am I doing this? I thought this was impossible".
"Nothing is impossible for me. I am of Bajor".
"Whaat?"
"Do you want me to continue or is this a bad time?"
"No...no...this isn't a bad time. You may continue if...you want to".
The rippling spreads to their shoulders like a heavenly blanket of stars, their forms embrace eachother until their faces fade into shadows of undying light, peace then weighs heavily upon them both as they become one from and one entity.
Odo gasped at this, he was speechless, those words both intrigued and excited him. He'd never read anything romantic regarding Shapeshifters and he'd never read anything that erroctic in his life, at least nothing that spoke to him quite in that way.
It was so sweetly sensual but he remembered he was at work and this one no time to explore this sensual sensation he could feel was creeping up on him.
Odo discovered much to his disappointment that the entry had ended.
"What there isn't anymore?"
Odo was so absorbed by his reading he hardly noticed the doors open until he heard a nasally voice rip through his spellbound reverie.
"ODO... Earth to Odo... Odo are you listening to me?"
"Sorry? Oh It's you. Why should I be listening to you again Quark?"
Odo smirked grimly up at his former adversary.
"You were speaking out loud and I was wondering why you said that".
Quark stiffly put his hand to his chest and nervously scratched his ear with the other as his striking Ferengi eyes peered at him, wide with disturbing curiosity.
"Said What out loud, Quark?"
His voice reminded Quark of an axe slowing chopping out wood with such sharp and deadly precision.
"You asked if there was more so I asked you more what and then you smiled in that sickening way you do but you looked really lost, not in good way, so I took more desperate measures to snap you back to reality. I still am curious about what it was that you wanted so badly on that tablet of yours".
"I'm sure you are Quark but the real question is do you really want to know what's actually on my mind?"
He bobbed his head from side to side as he wicked chuckled like smug little school boy.
"Well since you put it that way perhaps not but I do require your assistance Odo. Actually I would have loved having your assistance yesterday evening.
So when were you going to tell me that my brother had a date Odo?"
Odo rolled his eyes and spun around to face the wall by one swift swivel of his chair.
"Oh brother."
"Yes exactly, my brother is cavorting with your Deputy, Odo. Don't you think you should do something about it?"
Odo spun around again to smile at Quark with gleeful amusement.
"What do you think I should do? I'm not a relationship counselor, I'm not a therapist or a psychiatrist. I'm a Police officer and so is she but the moment she walks out those doors after her shift she's out of my hands and you know very well that I have no right to interfere with her private life."
"Oh Reaaaally Odo. That's not what Rom told me the other day".
Quark touched his lip with one of his fingers as if he was a English gentleman entering the courts of a castle.
Odo thrusted himself up from his chair by one powerful push.
"Oh yes Rom told you everything I suppose!" Odo pretended to be angry wuth him but really be was quite pleased with himself at the moment.
"Not everything Constable but enough to satisfy my imagination yet nevermind that. What about her and Rom... Constable?!"
"Oh is about you again? I'm sooo sorry I didn't realize it was Quark appreciation day. I must have missed the memo.
Oh I see this a recurring episode. Let's see what episode are we on today hmmm?"
"So you think this is about me? Why is it always me? It's never Rom, It's never the Bajorans and the Hu-Mans are above all reproach but it's always me who gets dragged in for questioning.
I'm going to tell you something and as inconvenient as it may be for me to interfere with your Vulcan Thrill novels, this is ALL about You! It's not about me this time. A 6 month vow of silence. Do you really think I'm that Stupid?"
"You know the awnser to that question." Odo grinned as if Quark had told him what color underwear Kira was wearing at the moment.
"You are unbelievable. it's worse than that you are out of control. You're late for your patrols on the Promenade, you rarely take your patrolling past my bar and to make matters worse is you're getting excitably audible about some kinky new novel you've apparently just finished! Now I'm telling you how to do your job Odo but what I can say is you can do Better"..
"Yet again Quark this isn't about me, it's a you thing, a you problem and the problem with you is that she isn't yours".
"Oh Odo you don't think I'm jealous of my own brother? No I'm not jealous of Rom, I'm jealous of you".
"Me? Now that's a laugh Quark. You're hilarious especially since I have so much to be jealous of".
Odo laughed almost hysterically at this.
"Yeah you see you think I'm joking with you, I'm not Odo.
I'm serious. I mean look, you are the big kahuna in these parts and you control everything.
If you wanted to, you could throw my whole business under the bus and now you somehow convinced Bashir to have her move in right across the street from you!
So I know what you're planning. I know what's going on behind the scenes, you and her, cavorting on the side. Honestly I'm no idiot".
"Oh but you are Quark, you are.
You are the idiot in this entire scenario. Taya was sick and Bashir suggested specifically for me to have her close by, so I could monitor her for the time just so the good doctor could retire to his quarters.
I would have preferred her to stay where she was but when I consulted Taya herself and she had no objections. Then your brother decided to stalk her for an entire day so he could ask her on a lovely dinner date in your bar.
I had nothing to do with this and you know it".
"Then why did you lie to me about her? She didn't take any traditional oaths, she was nice, pleasant, a little too chatty and even a bit charming.
And why did you tell me she was your girl?"
"Because she was new to this station and you were following her around like a vulture. I had to do something about it and Sisko helped me".
"Is this how you treat a friend Odo?"
"HA. That's rich coming from the man that barged into my office during business hours Just to request that I keep the children on the playground segregated by gender."
"Don't bring gender into this... whatever that is. You still lied to me and I wanna to know why!"
Quark extretended his orange palm as far as could go as he dramatically chopped it in the air with his palm face up.
"We have a history together if you must know,Quark".
"And what kind of history would that be?"
Quark flashed him a furious side glare.
"Do you really want to know the story Quark or is this still about the romantic tensions You imagine are going on in your head?"
"No, I honestly would like to know the story if you can tell me about it".
Quark was sheepishly casual, his voice thoughtful and his demeanor vulnerable.
It was times like these that Odo actually enjoyed speaking with Quark when he no longer had anything to prove and actually allowed his ears to hear the true of a matter.
"When she was very young, No more than 8 years of age. I been down to the surface of her planet. She was fascinated by me so I humored her, I spoke with her and we became friends.
Then she came to this station without even a single record to her name I listened to her story. I didn't believe it at first but when I finally did I didn't regret it.
The truth is there is no romance between us Quark. I still here as a child, a child who needs to be looked after and given guidance. Don't you understand Quark? I am her mentor, her employer, her superior officer, I'm her boss Quark and she is a child especially compared to me and my present age.
I'm not in love with her, I am really providing her with the stability that she was so deprived of for most of her life.
She was a prisoner and a slave on Cardassia for nearly 40 years, Quark. I'm sure you've seen that scar of hers, those were from brutal phaser burns Quark.
The girl has been tortured and abused for most of her life. That's why she's here because I have an obsession with her cuz I wanted to take her to bed with me. I only want to help her Quark, you should understand this".
"I do, Odo and you seem actually genuine about it but why were you touching her lobes?"
Quark batted his eye lashes like a princess asking for another pony.
" I never touched her lobes, Quark. I touched her Pagh if you must know".
"Tomatos, tomatoes, it's the same things. This Pagh, is pretty equivalent to any fair trading Ferengi lobe out there."
Quark literally spat the word "Pagh" right into his face as he said it.
Odo grimaced and wiped the Ferengi saliva from his face by means of a Golden yellow handkerchief with a Bajoran symbol embroidered into the cloth.
"No it is not the same thing. Bajoran use this gesture to greet each other all the time and she is not a Bajoran so... naturally her Pagh is in a slightly different place. It wasn't personal I assure you. She was merely taking me on a spiritual journey so to speak".
"Oh spiritual. That's a new word for you Constable. I'm surprised that you even recognize the word but then again you probably think, spiritualism is some sort of religion".
"It is a religion on some planets especially on Bajor. Spiritualism can also be quite political as well. I'm sorry Quark but yet again you're not very adept at making relevant and valid points properly.
Why don't you come back when you figure it out why you barged into my office so I can make a report of why I didn't bring you in for questioning today. Mkay".
"Thanks alot, Odo, I appreciate the support. Your concern for me is so overwhelming".
"And it's back to you Quark. Tell me does your quarters have Mirrors on the walls so you can admire yourself in every area? Do let me know if your throne gets to lonely Quark".
Odo feigned bashful sympathy for him, followed by a readily witty smile.
"Yeah maybe I do, Odo, but at least I own a mirror unlike somebody else I know."
"Oh my dear Bartender, I do not need a mirror to love myself and I certainly need one make myself feel important.
Do You see this impeccable posture? I've been holding posture since before mirrors were even invented. Meanwhile is your jacket missing a button? I can't seem to see one on the top row. Oh goodness is that a snail juice stain or perhaps Raktajino?
Sorry I was distracted. Is your mirror working at home I wonder?"
Odo pretended to be obliviously helpful.
"Well thanks for keeping up the positive morale, officer. Honestly I don't know know why I even talk to you Odo."
Quark rubbed at his jacket frantically trying remove a invisible spot from his lapel.
"I have asked the same question for the last 20 years Quark and at this point I think only the prophets know the awmser to that mystery. Perhaps you should ponder it on your way out to the Promenade, quietly I hope".
Quark let out a snarling and flustered moan as he rushed out of the security doors.
Odo sighed as be Left.
"Finally some peace and quiet.
I really do wonder if there is another chapter after this one. I'm very curious to find out".
