Thank you very much for reading. I really hope that you like the newest chapter. There is a lot that has to happen here to set up the next chapter. Which will be the action climax of the story and then there will be the epilog. So I am sorry if in the rush to get to the ending your favourite secondary character might not have much to do or get a prober ending. I did ask a few times if there is anything you wanted to be addressed or characters that you wanted more of, to please let me know, and no one really did. So I hope no one is going to be that upset that Gaius or Leon for example don't have a lot to do going forward.
The link to the black dress that Morgana wears in this chapter is on my profile under black lace dress.
There was a uneasy stillness that fell over the city of Camelot in the days after the feast of Samhain. Which still took place but in a much subdued way that normal. It was like a cloud hung over them, casting a dark shadow that it was hard to get out from under. Four days after the wedding that wasn't, this dark cloud unleashed a white sheet of snow on the city and surrounding area. Adding further to the strange unease that everyone was beginning to feel. It kept most at home. Creating a feeling of time being on hold. With the unease of what may come, some believed that this might be a good thing and they should make the most of this extended moment frozen in time.
No one apart form the king and queen as well as Merlin knew everything that was going on. Everyone excepted the story that the wedding was being delayed to wait for Merlin's mother to arrive. That in that time Morgana had to return to Avalon and Mordred and Kara went with her. The knights knew of Percival's death, but had not been told that Mordred was to blame. This didn't stop those that lived in the castle too from picking up on the tense and strained atmosphere and passed this on to their family and friends in the city. Leading to the unease that hung over the city.
The queen had been silent as the king told her what had happened just before the feast that seemed so unimportant now. She had nodded when he finished and then said they had to compose themselves to face the court. As time had gone on, days past Gwen realised the empty feeling that she felt was not going to turn into genuine grief. She had not been to shocked to properly process her feelings. She was just unable to feel anything. She had felt like this since Elyan had died, but didn't give it much thought. Hoped that in time it would pass. As it had done after she lost her mother and then her father. This time it did not seem to pass, it hung over her. Dragging her down, like a weight around her neck. Making her fear that she might always feel this empty from now on.
Arthur was defiantly normal. Going about his days as if nothing had happened. He liked to believe that he was doing this to keep everything running smoothly, but it was for his own benefit as much as anything else. He needed to keep busy so as not to think to much about what he had done. He regret it bitter but couldn't show it, not even admitting it to himself. Because any show of doubt would be taken as weakness and he could not be weak. To many people depended on him. That was why he stood at the round table surrounded by his wife, knights and Merlin.
He had called them here to discus how they were going to make sure that those living outside the city and isolated by the snow could be reached. To make sure they had enough food and supplies to ride out the first frost of the winter safely. He and Merlin had hoped that having something to focus on, something that they could do to help people would ease their consciences. So far, after at least twenty minuets of talking they didn't feel any different. Guilt still bubbled under their skin, putting them on edge.
So many times over the last few days Merlin had wanted to go and find Morgana. He knew she would have gone to the hovel first and then back to Avalon. He could go after her. He felt sure that she wouldn't turn him away, at least not at first. But he didn't. He was scared. Scared to face her, scared to have to make a stand one way or another. He had never felt comfortable making a stand. Standing up and owning his opinion, feelings, fearlessly. Morgana had always been able to do it, no matter how scared she was underneath, what it cost her. Arthur too. They were raised to have a voice and to use it. He was not. He had hoped that telling Morgana that he loved her, owning and sharing his feelings, would be his one time to stand up like that. That everything from then on would be easier. He would have someone to stand up with. Sitting around the large table surrounded by people he never felt more alone. Doing his best to not look to the empty chair on his right. Where Morgana should be .
Voice rose and fell, talking over each other as everyone thought of another farm or home that they needed to add to the list of places to visit. It turned into a low hum that echoed around the high ceilinged hall. The sound was abruptly cut off suddenly as a bright light in the centre of the table caused everyone to flinch back in their chairs and shield their eyes.
When they lowered their hands they saw in the centre of the table a fire had burst into life. Everyone around the table jumped to their feet and moved back. They watched as the fire grew taller and the smoke rose to touch the ceiling. The smoke got in everyone's eyes and they had to look away. Merlin was one of the first to look back and saw the fire die down and the smoke clear. It was hard to tell at first but he was sure he saw a figure emerging from the smoke standing on the table.
"I am queen Morgana of Avalon and I am here to pass judgement on king Arthur and Camelot." Morgana said as she turned slightly to her left to face Arthur.
Looking down on her brother from atop the round table, the symbol of his rule, Morgana smiled smugly.
"What are you talking about." Arthur was able to get out after a stunned silence.
After they had buried Kara, Morgana had left Mordred. She didn't like to leave him so soon, but she had somewhere she had to go and she didn't want to bring him with her. She was going to a place that she had only heard about as part of the history of the old ways. There was no guarantee that it still existed. That they still lived. At least not in the same way it once had. The court of disir. A court made up of three powerful beings that represented the triple goddess. They principally passed judgement on anyone and everyone.
It was a risky choice to go to them. For years Morgana had been told that she was the villain in the story. Any judgment they had for her would not be a kind one. The fact that she was not going to them for a judgment on herself did not change the fact that they most likely would feel the need to offer one anyway. She didn't know what she was wanted to hear from them, but she knew she had to hear what it was.
The court of disir was said to gather under a tall mountain at the southern boarder of Camelot. Getting to the mountain was simple enough, getting under it, through narrow, twisting tunnels took considerably longer. In the dark, lit only by a small fire in the palm of her hand, Morgana lost all track of time. The sun was high in the sky when she entered the tunnels, and was in almost the same position when she left. At first she thought her journey had only taken a few hours, but when she returned to Avalon she learned it had been almost a whole day that had gone by.
Her meeting with the three ancient beings also took little time to her mind, but most likely took longer. To her surprise they did not react at all to her presence, probably the first person other than themselves they had seen or spoken to in decades. She identified herself and was cut off as one of the hooded figures told her they knew who she was and why she had come. There was then a silence as she waited for them to tell her what she came to learn.
When they still did not say anything after what felt like minuets of silence Morgana said herself what she wanted to now. The judgement of king Arthur and his kingdom.
The member of the court that spoke to her spoke again in surprise. He, for now she looked longer of his face, he seemed to be a he, thought she wished to know their judgment of her.
"I'm done being judged." She said defiantly.
He smiled, at least she thought she saw the hint of a smile. Then he told her what she came to learn.
Now here she stood atop the round table, dressed in a dramatic black lace dress. Her black curled hair shining in the candle light. Her headdress, the symbol of her role as queen of Avalon, changed colour as it caught the light. Her head was held high, the only person in the room to look calm.
"The judgment of the court of disir, is that you must bay your debts." She said to Arthur. "The debt of blood that you and your father are responsible for."
Gwen recovered her composer quicker than her husband and stepped towards the table. "Morgana, there is no need to escalate-"
"I'm not the one that has escalated anything." She said as she stared down the other queen.
A feeling of guilt began to grew in the pit of her stomach as she continued to look into Gwen's eyes. Eyes that had always been so warm, so kind, but now they seemed dead. There was no light behind them. It pained the witch to look into these cold, dead eyes that belonged to her oldest friend. Morgana knew that it was not her fault, she was not the cause of the cold eyes. That it was due to the build up of many things. The losing the last of her blood family was just the finally thing that tipped the scales of Gwen.
"Say your piece and leave." Arthur cut in. He didn't like seeing all of Morgana's restrained anger and hostility being directed towards his wife. He knew it was meant for himself and Merlin in part, so they should be the ones to face it.
Morgana's flat smile widened a little. "Is that any way to speak to a visiting monarch, who is also your sister."
"Well you didn't exactly give us warning or arrive in a conventional manor." Arthur teased.
Morgana despite herself couldn't help but smile a real smile at this. She quickly fought it back, but Arthur saw it.
So did Merlin and his heart rose to his throat. Hope building with in him. He quickly moved forward till he was standing right in front of the table. "Morgana." He said quietly, as he reached out his hand to her. He looked up at his wife so hopefully, eyes wide that for a second Morgana wanted to met him half way and take his offered hand. Her right hand twitched, but she clenched it shut and kept it by her side.
"You and I have nothing to say to each other." She said coldly.
Merlin felt a cold pain shot through his heart. He saw her hand flinch, wanting to reach for his. She stopped herself though. Despite what she said he could tell that it was partly for show as well.
"But I do have something to say to all of you." Morgana said, getting back to the matter at hand. "You want to deal in a life for a life. Fine, that's the way it'll be." She looked beyond Merlin to Arthur he stood a little behind him.
"What do you mean." Arthur asked.
Merlin remained standing where he was, after his arm slowly feel back to his side.
"Kara killed Uther. So you killed her." She paused then, letting all of the knight of the round table process what she had just said. "Mordred tried to get her away, and accidently killed Percival." Again she paused. "You let him leave. Because you cared about vengeance more than justice, but said you wanted justice so that is what you shall have. A life for a life. One thousand six hundred and forty-eight to be precis. That is how many innocent people were killed because of one man's fear and hate. That all of you helped to carry on."
"You know it's not that simple." Arthur said.
"It is when you want it to be." Morgana retorted.
Gwen took in a deep breath as she stepped forward. "What exactly do you want." She asked in a calm and reasonable tone.
"A life for a life. One thousand six hundred and forty-eight to be exact." Morgana answered with a smile.
"You can't honestly believe that I'll agree to that." Arthur asked.
"Of course not." Morgana admitted. "But you really should."
"I'm not going to negotiate with you or anyone about the lives of the people I am meant to protect." Arthur said growing angry.
Morgana calmly replied. "You should be grateful I'm giving you the opportunity to negotiate. We were not give that luxury."
"Is going over past harm worth all the new harm it will cause." Gwen interrupted to ask. It was a reasonable question.
Morgana didn't know how to answer right away so she paused to think for a few seconds, before she answered. "We're not talking about right and wrong, we are talking about justice. Which are two very different things." She said with a proud smile.
Not satisfied with the other queen's answer, Gwen scoffed a little under her breath as she took a step backwards. Not wanting to be a part of the conversation any more. Her apathy that had momentarily been lifted feel over her again. She couldn't find it in herself to really care too much about the debt Morgana wanted repaid.
"I can make it painless, just like going to sleep." Morgana offered.
"You can't really be talking about offering up over a thousand innocent people." Merlin asked in disbelief.
Morgana shrugged. "Whether their innocent or not is up to you." She answered, looking to Arthur.
"No. I will never trade in lives." Arthur sated firmly.
Morgana let out a dramatic sigh. "As you please, but remember I did offer."
One of the knight's standing a little to her left, whos name Morgana did not know, had slowly been drawing his sword as Morgana spoke. He had three younger brothers and a older and younger sister. Both his parents lived, and his Mother's father too. As the witch standing on the table spoke of the trading of innocents lives he saw them. He knew, that one if not more of them would be lost if the witch had her way.
Once the sword was pulled form its scabbard, he lifted it and pulled it back.
Gwaine, who stood almost on the opposite side of the table caught the glint of the sword in his eye. He opened his mouth to call out a warning, but Morgana acted quicker.
With the slightest tilt of her head, the attacking knights neck snapped in same direction. The clang of his sword and armour echoed round the great hall as he hit the stone floor.
"See, he didn't feel a thing. Painless." She said, a small, forced smile on her face. "You are scared of us, of what we are capable of and you should be. But we are not scared of you. Some of you might have comforted yourselves that, that is the thing that stops us from biting back. But it's not. The thing that stops us burning this all to the ground." She opened her arms put wide and spun in place. "Is that we will not be the monsters you want us to be. We will not lower ourselves to your level."
"High talk for someone that murdered someone-" A knight called out from behind Morgana.
"I defended myself. That is all we have ever done." She turned round to face the knight that called out as she spoke. "You are the ones that hunt and kill us. We have a right to defend ourselves."
Merlin called out to his wife and she turned back to face him, but didn't say a word to him.
"Stop this now." Arthur said.
His restrained anger seemed funny to her as Morgana smiled. "So you've made your choice." She asked her brother.
Arthur didn't reply at first. From the corner of her eye she thought she saw Merlin about to speak again, but he kept silent. She looked then Gwen. Trying to see what she was thinking. Her face was so blank that it was impossible to tell what the queen of Camelot was thinking. So Morgana returned her gaze to the king.
"As you wish, don't say I didn't warn you."
She stepped back into the centre of the table, lifting her arms.
"You will wish you had not made me the villain you wanted me to be." She said as a cloud of smoke rose up from her feet.
In a few seconds the smoke was so high and thick that she could no longer to be seen. The smoke quickly lifted, but it revealed a fire burning at the center of the table. The fire spread swiftly. A few knights ran to get water to put the fire out. Merlin lifter his hand to quench the fire with magic, but he was able to do anything to stop it growing. It continued to grow till it took over the whole table. Never spreading beyond the wooden table. In only a few brief minuets the round table of Camelot was burn down into a pile of ash.
That night as soon as the sun set in the sky Merlin left the castle and the city. There was no guaranty that she would be there but he had to try.
When he arrived at the hovel he did so by appearing outside the door. If she was there he didn't want to ambush her. That would only add to the hostility. He also knocked lightly before he pushed the door open and entered.
The entire was as cluttered and cold as he remembered it. There was no fire on light to see by. He saw as soon as he stepped through the door though. She wore a thick black cloak over what he expected was the same dress she wore earlier.
"Aw my loving husband, I need you'd come." She said mockingly.
"Of course I came."
Morgana scoffed.
"You left." Merlin sounding angry and hurt.
"And you didn't come after me." Morgana said, trying to sound like it didn't hurt her.
"Did you want me to." Merlin asked. Morgana didn't answer right away. "I don't think you did."
Morgana kept her face blank as she tried to make sense of what Merlin was implying. "And why is that."
"Because you always expect the worst. You were scared that I wouldn't side with you, so you left before I had the chance to do anything." Merlin said sounding understanding rather than defensive.
"Can you really blame me." Morgana tried to joke.
"No, I can't." Merlin admitted. "I just hoped that we might have moved past that."
"As did I."
Merlin seeing her defences lowered rushed forward and took her hands in his. "I love you-"
"Of all the lies you have ever told me. I love you, is by far my favourite." She couldn't stop her voice from braking a little.
"It wasn't a lie." He sounded as broken as her, and he didn't try and hide it.
"Then it wasn't enough." She was just able to get out as she pulled her hands from him.
Merlin noticed her move back and he reached out and grabbed her arm. "Lets just go, leave this-"
"It's to late for that." She snapped as she pulled her arm free. "Much to late."
"No it's not."
"You think this is all my doing-"
"No. Arthur played his part too." Merlin quickly said.
Morgana shock her head. "It's much bigger than any of us." Merlin looked confused and she could, would do little to clear his confusion. "Nothing will ever be equal if there is no balance."
"I don't understand."
"Of course you don't. The ancient prophecy is not the final word."
Realising that he would get no further information from her, so he went in a different direction. "Think what will be lost, what you'll lose if you-"
"I might lose everything, but you never had it." She said. "I feel sorry for you. I've have never had anything of your own, until now. Because you were to scared to try."
Merlin nodded. "Maybe, but I had you. At least I thought I did."
Morgana did look sad as she took a step towards him. "You never had me, for the same reason. You were to scared. You made your whole life protecting Arthur, that you have nothing else. That's why you have to hold on to some ideal of a future. It's all you have."
She lifted her hand and gently touched his check. As she did she began to vanish. So Merlin wasn't sure if he imagined the touch or not.
Thank you again for reading. I hope that you it. As there was still a lot that had to happen I hope that the pacing didn't feel to rushed this chapter. I am both excited and nervous about writing the next chapter. As I have said a few times, I'm at very good at writing action. There are a few ideas, parts that I am really looking forward to writing. So It balances out a little.
Only two more chapters to go, I can't believe it. The first of which will be posted on Christmas eve. The last on new years eve. I can not believe how well that worked out. I realise that this might not be good for you, the readers. Sunday is normally the day I read over the chapter for the third time before I post it. So work on the day the chapter is posted doesn't take a lot of time for me. But it might not work for you all. So as I have some extra time over the next two works I could probably update on the next two Saturdays rather than Sundays, if this works better for a lot of you. Please let me know.
As always any feedback, comments or ideas you may have are very welcome.
