42
When Bella collapsed to the floor, her sobs echoed around the small, enclosed room. Edward knelt next to her, and then, with her on his lap, he tightened his arms around her. He understood exactly what had happened at the moment. The memories he thought she'd been spared slammed into her like a freight train as she remembered everything. His heart broke for her all over again. He thought she'd been lucky not to recall their time in Hell, but maybe it hadn't been luck at all. Maybe not knowing had held her back from truly being able to live her life to the fullest.
"Bella," Irina said, drawing their attention. She put her hands up in front of her as she walked over and knelt just feet from them. "Bella, honey, talk to us. Tell us what you're feeling."
"S . . . scared and . . . ashamed . . . and why? Why would they do that to us? We were babies! They treated us like whores, passed us around to whoever . . . How can grown men look at little kids, babies, and want to do that to them? How, Irina? Just tell me how?"
"I don't know. We will probably never know their reasoning, and to be honest, I don't think any of us want to understand the minds of pedophiles."
"We didn't want to come in here with them. Some of the other kids would get mad when we were chosen, and they weren't. For them, being picked made them feel special — loved, but not us. Never us. We cried every time, begged and pleaded for them to stop, to just stop, but they never did. Not until that night."
"Do you remember what happened that night?"
Bella nodded. "He'd come for us again — me and Edward. It was just him, and I was already crying because when it was just him, it hurt more. He walked us into this room, and he made us take off our clothes, and he told me to . . . to do things to Edward, but I didn't want to, and Edward kept telling him not to make me, that he would … he do whatever he wanted if . . . if he just didn't make me. But Marcus got mad; he got really, really mad, and he grabbed my hair. But then we heard a loud explosion and I fell and hit my head on the corner of the table."
Bella was trembling in Edward's arms, and he tightened his hold on her, almost afraid that she would disappear again if he didn't hold her tight.
"He . . . Marcus was the one who told us to get in the cabinet, so we did, and then we heard another explosion and the cabinet shook. I . . . I was scared and crying, but Edward kept promising that everything would be okay and that he would keep me safe. And then it got quiet. Really quiet for a long time. And I was tired, and my throat hurt and . . ." she paused and looked over at Charlie.
"And then you were there."
Charlie's eyes widened, and he smiled. "You remember me coming for you?"
Bella nodded slowly. "I remembered seeing you and Carlisle when we were on the playground. And then, you opened the cabinet. I screamed and cried when you lifted me out because I thought you were like them, like Marcus and his brothers, and you were going to take me away from Edward. But you . . . you told me we were safe, and you weren't going to let anything bad happen to me ever again."
"I tried to keep that promise, Bee."
Even though Edward didn't want to let her go, Bella pulled herself from his embrace, walked to her father, and hugged him for the first time in almost a month.
—TB—
Once they were back outside, where Edward felt he could breathe again, they stood silently; Bella at his side. She remembered how he had tried to protect her, to stop Marcus from hurting her. He would have done anything to keep her safe.
"Ben threatened to hurt her," he whispered, drawing everyone's attention. "And Angela, too. They told us what good Angels we were. They talked like Marcus was still alive, directing their every move. I did what I had to do to keep Bella safe. I had promised and failed time and time again, and I . . . I wouldn't fail again, not as long as I could still fight."
"You neverfailed me," Bella whispered, and Edward snapped his eyes to her. "We were kids, Edward. We were fucking kids, and nothing was going to stop him, stop any of them, from . . . from putting their hands on us, from hurting us."
"But I promised," he cried, bringing his hands up to her face. "I promised, Bella. I promised."
"I know," she murmured, covering her hands with hers. "I don't blame you, love. I don't blame you for anything that happened. Not . . . not when we were little, and not when Ben and Angela kidnapped and hurt us. We fought and we won. We beat them, and together, we will face every obstacle that comes our way. Forever."
"Forever?"
She smiled. "I'm not letting you go, not now or ever. I love you, Edward."
Edward pressed his forehead against hers. "I love you, too."
—TB—
Edward hadn't realized that the rest of their family had given them some time alone until he looked around and noticed they, along with Irina, were suddenly interested in the big willow tree they used to sit under.
"Do you think we scared them away?"
Bella laughed. "I doubt it."
"Are you okay?"
"No," she admitted. "I . . . I don't know, Edward. I thought knowing everything would help me understand why I react the way I do, and I suppose in a way it does. But at the same time, I almost feel . . . stupid, I guess for being so . . . fragile and weak for so long. I let it control me, let it prevent me from . . ." Bella dropped her hands from his face and took a step backward. "I love being America's Sweetheart. I still hate the name, but I love that my music and my voice make people happy — that people like Mike Newton liked my music so much he traveled all over the country just to hear me sing. And I want that back, Edward. I want my life back."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I think it's time we stop hiding."
"You want to go back to L.A.?"
"Yes, but not immediately." Bella paused before saying, "I want to see Kate's little sister Tanya. I've . . . I've been following her Instagram and Facebook pages, and . . . I can't just let her dwell over what happened to Kate."
"Yeah, I've been watching them, too."
"They were close. Kind of reminds me of me and Ro."
"Or me and my brothers."
"Yeah."
"I think . . . I think going to see Tanya is a great idea, but it's going to put you in the spotlight. Like directly in the spotlight, you know that, don't you?"
"I do, and I don't love the idea of having to deal with all of that again, but I'll have to if I want my life back."
"Okay."
She smiled. "I also want to visit Mike's ex-wife, Jessica. She . . . she shouldn't spend the rest of her life thinking he stopped loving her."
"Okay."
"You're agreeing to all of this pretty easily."
"I can see it's important to you." Edward brushed her hair behind her ear. "And I am going to assume you want to make another visit, too."
Bella nodded. "He's my brother, and I'd like to get to know him a little, maybe meet my niece and sister-in-law. Feels weird to call her that, but that's what she is."
"Okay."
She smiled before she looked at the rest of their family. "How do you think they will react when I tell them what I want?"
Edward frowned. "Probably the same way they've reacted to just about everything over the last few weeks."
"I wonder . . ." Bella shifted her eyes up to his. "I wonder how they'd feel if they knew there was a baby on the way."
"Mom would probably cry, and Dad would, too. Why? Is Rosalie pregnant?"
"Not that I know of," Bella murmured, biting the inside of her lip.
"Al?" he asked slowly. When she shook her head, he felt his lips curl into a smile. "Sweetheart, are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"I don't know for certain, but I'm late, and we didn't use protection, and I'm not on any sort of birth control, seeing as I never, ever thought I would want to have sex with someone until I met you."
"Exactly how late are you?"
"Seven days."
"Oh, okay." Edward grabbed the back of his neck. "It could be from stress, but . . . When are you going to test? Do we need to stop and get one of those home tests?"
"I can't exactly walk into the closest drug store without being recognized, can I? And I don't want my first public sighting to be me buying a pregnancy test."
"No, I guess not." He hesitated before saying, "I can, though. Nobody knows who I am, do they?"
"You would do that for me?"
"I'd do anything for you, sweetheart. Anything."
Smiling first, Bella grabbed the front of his shirt with her non-broken hand and pulled him down, giving him a searing kiss that had his body reacting in ways he hadn't even considered in weeks.
—TB—
"We need to go," Edward said, wrapping his arm around Bella and all but dragging her toward the gates.
"Hey, hey, calm down. Everything's okay," Esme replied, hurrying over and reaching for him. Automatically, he pulled back, hating the hurt that filled her eyes. "I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry. I'm going to have to work on how I react to everyone again," he mumbled. "Everything's fine. We're just . . . we're just ready to leave. I think . . ." He looked down at Bella, who leaned against him. "I think we got exactly what we needed here. It's time we moved on."
"Yeah, definitely time to embrace the future together."
Carlisle wrapped his arm around his wife, nestling her against him. "Okay, if you're ready, we're ready."
"Before we leave," Bella said. "I just . . . No, we just want to say thank you for, I don't know, the last few weeks, the last twenty years. For never giving up on us, even though we both know we didn't make it easy."
"That's the thing about family, Bee," Emmett said with a smile. "Good times, bad times, in the end, they don't matter. You know what does?"
She shook her head.
"How you fought to be free. Growing up and knowing there were things that happened to our brother we couldn't stop or make better was difficult, for sure. But loving him never was. And while we're still getting to know you, Bee, I can tell loving you won't be either."
"We always wanted a sister," Jasper added with a crooked smile. "So, welcome to the family, Bee."
"You and Ro," Alice whispered, her eyes shifting from Bella to Rosalie and back, "are important to us, to all of us."
"You mean that, Al?" Edward asked. "You really mean that?"
Alice nodded. "Took me longer than it should have to see why, but, yes, Edward. I guess . . . I guess I just got used to always being the one to fight for you. But this time, it was Bella . . . she fought for you, for both of you."
"Why did you fight for him, Alice?" Irina asked, causing everyone to turn and look at her. "Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and Jasper told us why they did–why they agreed to bring Edward into their home, but you didn't have to fight like they did. But why did you?"
"Because I couldn't just stand by and watch as they broke him over and over again. It was . . . Well, to be honest, it was kind of annoying at first," she added, putting her hand up to keep anyone from arguing with her. "I didn't understand how they couldn't see how scared he was, how fucking scared he was, and I . . . I don't know. I just decided that if nobody else stepped up to the plate, I would. And he became my best friend. His family became my family, and I, kind of, found the love of my life," she giggled, leaning her head against Jasper's shoulder.
He smiled and wrapped his arm around her, pressing his lips against the top of her head. "I love you, too, Al."
"Rosalie," Irina called out. Rose stepped closer to Emmett, who held her against him as much as he could. "Why'd you stand up for Bella?"
"I mean, like Alice, how could I not?" Rosalie explained. "I wasn't expecting her to become my best friend, my person, but she needed me, and, well, I guess I needed her, too."
"You needed me?"
Rosalie nodded.
"Why did you need me, Ro? I mean, I was just this frightened little girl who had panic attacks every other day."
"So was I," she said. "Maybe I didn't have physical panic attacks, but you know, after my dad got sick and we moved from New York, I . . . I was alone, Bee. I'd left behind a world of friends and comfort for life that, well, to be honest, kind of felt like a huge step down. I'm vain enough to admit I was very judgmental of everyone in Bondurant, and when school started, I didn't feel like I belonged. But then I saw you."
"What was it about her that stood out to you?" Irina asked.
Rosalie frowned. "She tried to disappear, tried not to be seen, but everyone saw her; they watched her, laughed at her, called her names. They fucking threw spitballs in her hair, and I could tell by the look on her face that she knew she heard them, but she just took it. Every day she took it, and it just didn't sit right with me. Nobody deserved to have other people's spit in their hair. So I fought the fight she couldn't for herself. When I got in trouble, when my mom and dad asked why I'd fought, I told them about her, about how she needed someone. And do you know what they told me?"
"What?" Bella asked. "What'd they tell you, Ro?"
She smiled through her tears. "They told me they were proud of me for being better than everyone else, for seeing that you were worth the fight. And they said no matter what happened at school, I would never get in trouble for standing up for you, and I never did."
"You don't regret being my person?"
"No!" Rosalie exclaimed, pulling herself out of Emmett's arms and walking over to Bella, holding out her hands. Bella looked up at Edward before placing her hands on Rosalie's. "Bee, you are not just my person, my best friend; you're my family, and that will never, ever, ever, ever change. Even if we've both found love."
Bella laughed. "You promise, Ro?"
"I promise, Bee. You're kind of stuck with me."
"Then, will you do me a favor?"
"Anything."
"Will you set up an interview with Carmen for next week?"
"I will, but why?"
"Well," she said, looking back at Edward, who gave her a nod. "I reckon it's time I stop letting people like Marcus Volturi, Angela Weber, and Ben Cheney have control over me. So, after a few stops along the way, which Edward and I will tell you about, I think it's time the world knows that America's Sweetheart is nobody's victim. And I think Carmen is the right person to help us tell our story."
Rosalie lolled her head to the side and smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure I can arrange that, but first, let's go home."
With another look back at the Gathering of Twilight compound, Bella nodded and wrapped her hand around Edward's as they walked away from their pasts, ready to move on with the rest of their lives.
Together.
Thank you for all the AMAZING reviews! Big shout out to Sunflower Fran for all the help with this chapter, and the previous chapters, of course.
