Back on the bridge, gunmen exit the second vehicle as bystanders flee from their cars, fearful of the mayhem that has wrought destruction across the bridge. Gunmen approach the overturned car as other people as other people from the caravan aim in the same direction.
An awkward facing window on the SUV rolls open. The gunman keeps their weapons pointed at the vehicle, waiting for the mercenary to make his move. Deadpool pops his head out. "Hey!" he says, before immediately ducking back inside when the gunmen open fire on him.
Two gunmen exchange before approaching the SUV, cautiously. Deadpool's hands pop up and they take aim. "Wait!" he yells out. "You may be wondering, 'Why the red suit?' Well, that's so bad guys can't see me bleed." One of the gunmen momentarily lowers his weapon, confused by this statement. "This guy's got the right idea." He points towards one of the other gunmen. "He wore the brown pants." The gunman in the brown pants, offended by Deadpool's comment, fires off a few rounds, resulting in Deadpool retracting his hands back into the SUV. "Fine! I only have 12 bullets, so you're gonna have to share!"
In the SUV, Deadpool talks towards the audience. "Let's count them down," he replied, holding up his handguns.
Deadpool barrel rolls into the air, firing two guns. One suspended shell reads '12', the other '11'. The bullets hit their intended targets, nailing two gunmen right through the skull. He takes cover behind the SUV as the remaining gunmen open fire. A motorcyclist speeds by him, firing. A bullet strikes him. Deadpool sticks a finger through the bullet hole in his arm. "Shit." Through the hole, which we notice is beginning to heal itself, he spots the motorcyclist returning. "Motherfucker!" he yells, clearly pissed. He aims... "10!" But the cyclist dodges. "Shit!" He aims once more... "Nine." And the cyclist dodges again. "Fuck." The cyclist fires upon him once more as Deadpool takes aim for a third time... "Eight." And missing the cyclist by a mile. "Shit-fuck!" He flips over the SUV and trains his gun on the motorcyclist. Unfortunately, he's too far out of range and manages to get away. "Bad Deadpool," he says to himself. He then spots a nearby gunman observing the back of the SUV, unaware that Deadpool has changed positions. "Seven." Deadpool shots the gunman in the head. "Good Deadpool."
Another hail of bullets comes at him as Deadpool sprints, vaulting over stopped cars. He flips, rolling and taking cover on the other side of the vehicle as the shooter. Deadpool looks through the car window to the other side as the shooter reloads and takes aim. "Oh!" Deadpool screams out before ducking for cover as the shooter opens fire. The shooter jumps over to find Deadpool on the ground, nonchalantly cropped up on his elbow. The gunmen attempts to fire upon him, but upon hearing a clicking sound coming from his gun, he realizes he's made an error in judgement. "Someone's not counting," Deadpool says, stating the obvious, before putting a bullet through the guy's cranium. "Six." As the shooter drops dead, brain matter splats behind him.
Another man draws him arm back to throw a grenade while a third provides cover from behind a vehicle, flicking the ring away with his thumb. In slow motion, Deadpool emerges and fires fifth bullet at the grenade, with the suspended shell reading '5'. It explodes in a large burst of fire before it even leaves the man's hand. Deadpool dances in celebration. "Me gusta cinco."
Another gunman opens fire on him, resulting in one of the bullets nailing Deadpool right in the asshole. Deadpool falls to the ground, seemingly defeated. The gunman approaches his limp body. "Four," Deadpool says, weakly. Through his legs, Deadpool shoots the man in the head. "Gotcha." He hauls himself to his feet, groaning and grunting in pain. "Right up main street." Grabbing his injured ass, he aims at the already dead man, firing off two more rounds. "Three, two! Stupid!" He says in anger, loudly. "Worth it," he silently whispers to himself.
He hears more gunfire and sees three more gunmen opening fire upon him, prompting Deadpool to duck away behind a vehicle. One of the men approaches the vehicle and waves the other men forward to follow him. From behind them, Deadpool jumps, spinning as he fires a single airborne shot that goes the heads of all three men in a row. The final bullet shell lands on the ground, rolling to reveal it bears the number '1'.
Deadpool holds his smoking gun barrels to his nose, sniffing the smoke through his mask and into his nose. "Ah!" he says, relishing the moment as gun smoke expels from his mouth. He then looks towards the audience. "I'm touching myself tonight."
He skips towards a nearby vehicle. "Keith! Keith..." He does a hip thrust, closing the door to the driver's seat of an SUV before opening the door to the backseat to discover... no one there. "What the shit-biscuit!" he says, slamming the door close in fury. "Where you at, Keith?"
In the background, the third man in the row gets up, the bullet lodged in his forehead. Deadpool, sensing his presence, groans loudly and turns to face him. "You're not Keith." The bloody man pulls the bullet out of his forehead and throws it at the ground. He rolls up his sleeves to give the illusion that he's a tough guy. "Really, Lurch? Rolling up the sleeves?" Deadpool says, commenting on the trope being severely overused up to this point.
The man takes out two knives and runs at Deadpool while he unsheathes his swords and stabs the man through the stomach. Deadpool lifts the man into the air, impaled on his swords. The scene freezes on this moment as Deadpool begins speaking through voiceover.
"You're probably thinking, 'My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie but that guy in the red suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kabab!' We transition to an upward angle where we see Deadpool's face, looking up at the man's body. "Well, I may be super, but I'm no hero. And yeah, technically, this is a murder." We transition once more to see Deadpool's face from the side. "But some of the best love stories start with a murder. And that's exactly what this is, a love story. And to tell it right, I gotta take you back to long before..." We transition a final time to Deadpool's red jumpsuit-clad ass. "I squeezed this ass into red spandex."
