Nathan checked the time on the clock on his desk and stood; Allie was late. He had been expecting his daughter to call in at the end of her shift babysitting Jack Thornton. Allie had planned to walk into Town with Jack and visit Nathan, and afterwards, they would all walk home together. Elizabeth was staying at the schoolhouse late today, decorating it for the Christmas play. Usually, Allie would have helped decorate the school while minding Jack; unfortunately, the little boy had only just gotten over a cold, and Elizabeth hadn't wanted him getting over-excited. The short visit to the Town would be enough for one day.
Reaching up, Nathan rubbed the back of his neck, surprised at how stiff he had become sitting behind his desk. Stretching his arms above his head, he leaned from side to side, trying to work the kinks out of his back. He glanced at the clock again; his brown wrinkled in concern this time. It wasn't like Allie not to let him know if her plans had changed.
Nathan sighed, thinking about Allie and Jack. He couldn't pretend he didn't have concerns about the two of them growing so close. Had the situation between himself and Elizabeth been different, he would have rejoiced they were so attached, but now, given their current relationship, he wasn't sure. He thought about talking to Elizabeth about his concerns, but that could expose him to a conversation about ... other things, and he didn't want to do that; he had been doing his best to avoid that conversation.
Nathan recalled a conversation with Gabriel and Lillian Kinslow during his visit to Brookfield the previous week. Lillian ran the orphanage in Brookfield, and Gabriel, a fellow Mountie, had moved into the orphanage after their marriage. Nathan knew the children in their care often formed sibling-type relationships and wanted to understand how his friends managed this, knowing one child may be adopted one day. Lillian and Gabriel had given him insight into how they handled the children's expectations and relationships before Lillian turned the conversation to his relationship with Elizabeth.
"Lillian!" Gabriel exclaimed. "We aren't talking about Elizabeth and Nathan."
"Well, we should be," she said, chuckling. "If Nathan and Elizabeth could move forward in their relationship, his concerns around Allie getting too close to Jack would all disappear."
Gabriel frowned and said, "I thought you and Elizabeth had settled into a close friendship, and you were happy with that?"
"That was before Elizabeth and Lucas broke up, before he and Elizabeth remained in Hope Valley and before there was another chance for them to be together."
Gabriel shook his head at his wife's words before he looked at Nathan, and his smile dropped.
"Is Lillian right? Is that what you want?" Gabriel asked.
Nathan hadn't answered his friend then, despite Lillian being spot-on with her assessment. Gabriel had been right, too. Nathan had accepted his relationship with Elizabeth would go no further than good friends, He loved they had so much in common, so much they could talk about and they had. They were single parents who shared their concerns and thoughts about raising their children and supported each other when needed. He was a Mountie who could help her son understand his father's job, the risks involved and explain that he hadn't left voluntarily. Elizabeth was providing Allie with guidance and a female sounding board, something he could never give her. They balanced each other out and leaned on each other when needed. Elizabeth was his best friend. He had been happy with that; he was pleased they had moved past the angst his declaration of love had caused. He had been able to bury his feelings for her when she chose Lucas Bouchard over him. He had meant it when he said he was giving up on love; he didn't want to settle for something that was second best; he didn't want to just settle.
Now Elizabeth was single again, the feelings he had buried, his hopes for the two of them had resurfaced and haunted almost every waking moment ...and sometimes his dreams. He did everything he could to force the feelings back down, including avoiding Elizabeth. He wasn't sure why she had broken her engagement to Lucas, whether it was purely because she didn't want to leave her home or if it was something else, something more. Nathan had asked her what she wanted, and she chosen Hope Valley and to end things with Lucas. That didn't mean she wanted to start something with him. He knew Elizabeth had noticed his reluctance to be alone with her, but she hadn't pushed him to talk, which was a refreshing change. He didn't know how to deal with missing her as much as he did, and he could tell she missed him too.
Shrugging into his bulky navy overcoat, he braced himself for the walk outside to look for the children; the weather had been unseasonably cold. He would walk to Abigail's Cafe and see if they had called in; both children had a sweet tooth. Stepping out of the office and onto the boardwalk, he looked around, pausing for a moment to take in his surroundings. The Townspeople had spent hours decorating the buildings for Christmas, and Hope Valley looked wonderful, adorned with traditional red, green, and gold. Nathan had been in Brookfield assisting Gabriel with a case and had missed the working bee to hang decorations. His trip also meant he missed cutting and decorating the Town Christmas tree, erected on the main street outside the Cafe. He had also missed going on the Town's annual pilgrimage to find their own trees. His and Allie's row house looked bare and desolate, without decorations or a tree. Nathan knew she was disappointed and had promised to take her to get one in the next few days.
As he approached the giant Christmas tree, Nathan heard Allie's voice before he saw her. He smiled as he started to round the Christmas tree, then stopped, unashamedly listening as Allie spoke to Jack.
"Christmas is not all about the presents, Jack" Allie explained. "It's much more than that. I promise, your Mum won't mind if you don't buy her something from the Mercantile; I bet she would like it more if you were to make her something."
Nathan leaned forward and peered through the tree branches, watching Allie kneel before Jack and take his gloved hands in hers. He couldn't see Allie's face as her back was to him, but he could see Jack staring at her, enthralled by the conversation.
"Some of the best presents I have ever received weren't bought from a store or catalogue. They were really special because were truly about me and the person who it came from."
"Special? Like what?"
"A pot of dirt, for one," Allie said with a laugh as Jack screwed up his nose.
Nathan stifled his chuckle at Jack's look of astonishment and displeasure.
"My Dad gives me a pot of dirt and a pinecone every year for Christmas. When Spring comes around, we plant the seed, which grows into a tree. Looking at those trees and caring for them as they grow, I can feel how much my dad loves me. Looking at the row of trees in our yard, I know I can always depend on him, and he will encourage me and help me grow into a good person."
Hearing Allie's description of the tree gifting sent a surge of love through Nathan. He hadn't realised what that simple gift meant to her and continued to mean. His intent the first year was to prove to her they were finally putting down roots in Hope Valley, and it was his way of showing her she could let herself settle into the community, make friends, and know she belonged there and with him.
"I don't think my Mum would like dirt," Jack said hesitantly.
"You don't have to get her dirt! Why don't you think about something she likes, something that makes her smile?"
"Like Mountie Nathan?"
Nathan's eyes widened at Jack's innocent statement, and he heard Allie gasp before laughter took over.
"Maybe we should work on something else, something you can wrap up for her to open on Christmas morning. I can help you work on it. I know she will love anything you make for her."
As Jack nodded wildly in agreement, a smile lighting up his face, Nathan stepped forward, pushing away thoughts of being Elizabeth's Christmas gift. He figured now was a great time to interrupt the conversation.
"Allie, Jack." Nathan called, "Here you are. I was starting to worry about the two of you when you hadn't come to see me."
"I'm sorry, Dad, I had to promise to bring Jack to see the tree; he's very sad they don't have one at their house." Screwing up her nose, Allie asked, "How long have you been standing there?"
Nathan frowned, "I just got here," he fibbed. "Why doesn't Mrs Thornton have a tree? I thought everyone went last week when I was in Brookfield?" Nathan hadn't been inside Elizabeth's house since hearing of her break-up with Lucas despite being invited.
"Jack was sick when everyone went, so they couldn't go," Allie explained. "Mrs Thornton promised to take him, but she hasn't had time yet."
Nathan looked at Jack and saw his face drop as he nodded at Allie's words.
"Goldie has one, but Mumma and I don't," Jack explained seriously.
"Maybe we could take Jack with us when we get our tree?" Allie suggested excitedly. "He can pick the tree for his house, I can pick ours, and you can choose the one for your office. I am sure Mrs Thornton would appreciate it."
Nathan opened his mouth to protest, to say no, that he was sure Mrs Thornton had made her own arrangements for finding a tree. Before he could form the words, he heard a voice from behind him.
"What would I appreciate?"
Nathan heard the amusement in her voice, the lightness of her tone, how happy she sounded to be there with them and tried to still his racing heart. He closed his eyes and took a slow breath to control his reaction before facing her.
"Allie offered to take Jack with us when we went to pick a tree; I was away in Brookfield when everyone went out to pick them last week."
"I know," Elizabeth said softly, smiling at him. "I'm glad you made it home safely."
Nathan was confused by both her words and the look in her eyes as she spoke. There was a time he searched for that softness in her gaze; now, he wasn't sure what it meant, especially when he had been wrong so many times.
Glancing at her son before looking back to him, Elizabeth said, "Jack was so disappointed not to go. Allie comforted him and gave up a chance to spend time with her friends to stay with him."
"I didn't mind," Allie began earnestly.
Nathan knew Allie was telling the truth; she had been happy to stay with Elizabeth and Jack while he was in Brookfield. He had wanted her to stay with Opal, but she had begged to stay with the Thorntons, and he had eventually conceded; he couldn't resist the onslaught from Jack and Allie begging.
'I know Allie, but it meant a great deal to Jack and me."
Allie beamed as the two adults smiled at her while Jack tugged on his mother's hand and begged her to let him go with Allie and Nathan. Elizabeth glanced down at Jack and grinned at his pleading face.
"Jack! I couldn't impose on Nathan like that; finding a tree is a very important job, and he already has two to find."
"Jack would be a great help to me," Allie cried. "You know how hard it is for me to decide on the perfect tree."
Nathan held his breath. Why wasn't Elizabeth telling Jack no? The last thing he expected was for her to want him to take Jack with them. He remembered the last time he and Elizabeth had gone tree hunting, the way it had felt walking together in the woods, the connection he felt that night decorating the tree...standing close to her, Elizabeth gazing up at him, her eyes wide.
"You could come too, Mumma; you can help me pick our tree. I can't carry it all by myself."
Wait. What? Nathan snapped back to the present when Jack's words penetrated his reminiscing.
"As long as Nathan and Allie don't mind, I would love to go with them."
Ummmm. Had he heard her right? His heart clenched; surely Elizabeth hadn't said she wanted to go with him and Allie. Nathan's eyes flicked to Elizabeth, who was looking at him expectantly.
"Of course, Elizabeth. Why would we mind." What else could he say?
Nathan watched a wide smile spread across her face; her eyes lit up joyfully. It appeared she was just as excited as Jack and Allie.
"Why don't we go right now?" Allie asked.
"Is Jack up for it?" Nathan asked, concerned for the little boy. "The last thing you want is for him to relapse just before his birthday and Christmas."
"It's probably a little late in the day to go now, but he will be fine tomorrow," Elizabeth assured him. "And if Allie doesn't spend the whole day finding the perfect tree..." she said, teasing the young girl.
Allie laughed at Elizabeth's words, knowing the truth of them; she had spent hours last year trying to find the right tree.
"We can sharpen the axe tonight and pack a picnic lunch for tomorrow," Allie said, laughing. "Mrs Thornton, can I help you make banana bread?"
"Of course, Allie. If your dad doesn't mind. The two of you could come for dinner tonight, and we can bake it afterwards.
"Let's go, Allie," Jack called, not waiting for a response from Nathan, running up the road toward their row houses.
As Allie raced after Jack, Nathan stood with Elizabeth, wracking his brain, trying to think of something to say to her to break the awkward silence and find a way to get out of dinner. He hated that he was back to being tongue-tied around her, that their recent friendship and closeness had dissolved along with her engagement. He glanced at her, smiling tentatively before gesturing with his arm, suggesting they follow the children.
Elizabeth walked beside Nathan, her cheeks hot with embarrassment, wondering if he could see the colour in them. She knew she had forced herself on Nathan just now, taking advantage of Jack's innocent suggestion they go tree hunting together. Not only had she invited her and her son along on Nathan and Allie's family outing, but she also managed to ask him to dinner. She noted he hadn't said yes.
Nathan had been avoiding her, especially being alone with her. There had been moments when she thought they would have a chance to talk, but something or someone continually interrupted them. When she ran into him on the road out of Town after visiting Jack's grave, Bill had come along, saying he needed them. When Nathan came to collect Allie after babysitting, she asked him inside, but he always found an excuse to say no.
It had been Henry Gowan who forced Elizabeth to face her growing feelings for Nathan. He had been the only one to notice her reaction to hearing Nathan had been involved in a hostage situation. He had confronted her about her response to the news, and even though he had been gentle when raising it with her, it had been challenging to hear. She could no longer deny her feelings for Nathan. Her feelings had changed from friendship to much more without her realising it. Without her knowing it, Nathan had become the most important person in her life besides her son. Acknowledging her growing feelings toward Nathan highlighted what was missing between her and Lucas: how shallow their relationship was. Of the two men, Nathan knew her, understood what she wanted and needed, what was truly important to her and pushed her to admit it.
Elizabeth didn't know when it happened; she only knew that Nathan was no longer just Allie's father, the Town Mountie, or a dear friend. He was the person she wanted to share her thoughts and dreams with. She looked for him to laugh with, relax with, and spend every moment she could with. All she had to do now was convince him of her feelings and hopefully hear him admit he still felt the same way. It wouldn't be easy, she knew that. Not after everything that had come before, not after everything thing she had said to him. Not after she had broken his heart when he told her he loved her, and she pushed him away.
She wished she had been braver. Brave enough to accept the love Nathan had offered her, that she hadn't wasted so much time denying what was in her heart. Her cowardice hadn't only hurt Nathan; she had hurt Allie, too. And Lucas. He deserved to fall in love with someone who would appreciate his grand gestures and wanted to be treated like a princess, someone who could love him as everyone should be loved - unconditionally and with a whole heart. Lucas could never fill the void left in her heart by Jack's death because Nathan had already done that by simply being himself.
"Nathan?" Elizabeth began hesitantly. "I hope you don't mind; Jack and I are going with you and Allie. If you prefer it just be the two of you, I can find a reason for Jack and me to go another time."
"It's fine, Elizabeth; we are happy to have you join us."
Elizabeth heard Nathan's reticence before he continued in a rush.
"Are you sure you want to come with Allie and me? It's usually families who go together and... I'm sure you don't want to give people the wrong impression."
"People?" Elizabeth asked, unsure who he meant. Those closest to her, Bill, Rosemary, and Lee, supported her decision to end her engagement. Bill was the most vocal of the three, hinting now he had always thought Lucas was wrong for her. Lucas had even admitted something was missing between them, and Henry had all but come out and told her he thought she was in love with Nathan all along.
In thinking about their future, the only 'people' she cared about were Nathan, Allie, and Jack.
Elizabeth watched as Nathan looked away and shrugged. She could see the confusion on his face, his reluctance to say what he was really thinking.
"Nathan," Elizabeth said before stopping and turning to face him. "Could we talk after dinner tonight when the children have gone to bed?"
"I...um...about what?"
"Us?"
"Us?" Nathan questioned her, confusion evident in his beautiful blue eyes.
"Yes. I can sense the change between us since I ended my relationship with Lucas. Let's talk about it. Clear the air." She held his gaze, "you can ask me anything."
"Okay." Nathan nodded. "We can talk after dinner."
Elizabeth smiled and turned to keep walking, pleased he was prepared to talk to her. Maybe...finally, she could apologise, which was well overdue, and then, depending on how that went, she could tell him the rest of what she wanted to say.
What was with Elizabeth's brilliant smile? He wished he knew what he had said to make her smile like that. As always, one of Elizabeth's smiles directed at him dazzled him and left him reeling. He could feel the heat in his cheeks, as he followed her.
As they walked, Nathan allowed Elizabeth to lead the conversation, and they chatted about the Town, the school concert and Allie's role in it. They laughed together as Elizbeth described Rosemary's initial horror at the children's lack of polish and how she had managed to whip them into shape. Nathan chuckled as she told him she had gotten Henry to agree to play Santa Claus for the children despite his many protests. When they reached her row house, it almost felt like they were back to where they had been several months ago, before the election. Before the broken engagement.
"Are you coming in now?"
"No, I'll go home; get out of my uniform." Nathan looked down at the red serge of his uniform, wondering if she was seeing Jack in him as he wore it. "It will be easier ... to relax if I am in civilian clothes."
"Okay, well, Allie and I will start on dinner and the banana bread."
Nathan waited as Elizabeth started up the stairs to her row house. He turned to go home but stopped when she turned back to face him, a cheeky smile on her face.
"Bring your appetite with you."
Nathan nodded in response, unable to trust his voice to speak, waiting until she went inside before turning for his own home.
Nathan walked slowly to his row house, his mind whirling with thoughts of having dinner with Elizabeth, Jack, and Allie - together like the family he always dreamed they could become. His stomach clenched at the thought of the conversation Elizabeth wanted to have with him. He knew he couldn't avoid her anymore; he would have no choice but to hear what she had to say, whether he liked it or not.
After dinner, they had sat together, the adults talking as Allie and Jack played quietly. It was nothing serious; it was just a continuation of the discussion at the dinner table led by the children.
Eventually, Jack grew quiet, and Elizabeth noticed he struggled to keep his eyes open.
"Jack, I think it's time for bed. You don't want to be too tired to look for a Christmas tree tomorrow."
Elizabeth was surprised at how little he grumbled until he asked Nathan and Allie to read him a story, and his willingness to go to bed made sense. Nathan and Allie agreed, and after reading two stories, Jack was now asking lots of questions about Nathan's family. Nathan answered each of his questions patiently, his voice deep and soothing as he spoke, lulling her little boy to sleep. Peering around the door, Elizabeth noticed Allie's eyes drooping too and knew it wouldn't be long before both children were asleep.
Elizabeth stood outside Jack's bedroom listening to the sounds of a sleepy Jack asking question after question of Nathan and Allie, trying to delay bedtime. Tiptoeing downstairs she put the water on to boil, ready for tea for her and Nathan. When he came downstairs, they could sit with their tea and have the conversation she desperately wanted to have with him. She placed her hand against her abdomen; she was the one pushing for them to talk, but her stomach was still full of butterflies.
Elizabeth was pouring water into the tea cups when she heard Nathan's footsteps on the stairs. Turning to him, she smiled as he approached her in the kitchen.
"Perfect timing; I made us some tea."
"Thankyou"
"Shall we sit in the lounge room," Elizabeth asked, leading the way before he could say no. She was pleased when he followed immediately, glad he didn't hesitate. "I'm sorry it took so long for Jack to fall asleep."
"It was fine. I never mind talking about my family, and Allie never gets sick of hearing me talk about her mother."
"It's good you are keeping the memories alive for her; I am doing the same for Jack. He loves hearing stories about his dad."
Elizabeth stopped speaking when she saw sadness flicker across Nathan's face. She owed him an apology and explanation for what she had said about Jack - about looking for Jack in him. The pain she had caused was still there, and he deserved to know she didn't feel that way anymore, that she had never really felt that way.
"Nathan...I need to explain something to you. I need to apologise to you."
"Elizabeth..." he said, holding a hand to stop her words.
"No, please, let me speak. I am so sorry for the way I have treated you, for throwing back in your face every good thing you ever did for me and Jack, every kind word, every kind gesture, all your patience and the friendship and more you offered from the moment we met. You didn't deserve it, and I know I didn't deserve how kind you were to me, always."
Elizabeth rushed on, not wanting to give Nathan time to contradict her or stop her.
"I am so sorry I ran away when you told me you loved me. I was so confused and frightened by what I was feeling, how much I felt for you; I didn't know how to deal with it." Elizabeth paused, watching his face as her words sunk in. "It was wrong of me to lie to you like I did for so long. I said hurtful things, and I pushed you away. I never saw you as a replacement for Jack; I wasn't looking for him in you. I was so scared ...so I chose the safe option instead of admitting how I truly felt about you."
Elizabeth stopped speaking. Tears welled in her eyes, and her voice constricted with the effort to hold back her emotions.
"When I heard about the hostage situation, I went to pieces. Henry saw how I reacted to the news and reached out to me like you did that day in the schoolhouse. I finally did what you both suggested; I worked out who and what I wanted. I realised it didn't matter. It didn't matter if I had pushed you away or not. The pain was still there, and so was the fear. Everything I worried I would feel if I allowed myself to get close to you, I felt anyway."
"I have wanted to tell you this for so long, ever since the night of the election, but there never seemed to be the opportunity."
Elizabeth stared at Nathan, wishing he would say something. React to her words. She didn't care if he was angry with her; she needed something other than this stoic silence.
Instead of speaking, he stood, and she stood with him, confused. She waited, watching him silently, trying to understand what was happening.
"I need to go, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth stared at him as he walked away from her toward the door. She wanted to call out to him, ask him to wait, ask him what he was thinking, but she knew she owed him whatever time he needed to process what she had just admitted to him.
"Can Allie stay here?... I don't want to wake her; she gets grumpy..." he asked, reaching for his coat.
"Of course," Elizabeth nodded and was rewarded with the crooked smile she loved so much.
"I'll come for you all tomorrow morning; I'll collect the wagon so we can go straight to the woods to look for our trees."
"Thank you. See you tomorrow, Nathan, sleep well."
"Goodnight, Elizabeth."
It was done, Elizabeth thought, staring at the door he had closed behind him. She had told Nathan how she felt. All she could do now was wait and see if he still wanted her if he could accept her apology and trust her with his heart again.
Nathan lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness. He could hear Elizabeth's words echoing in his head over and over. She had lied when she told him she didn't love him. He hadn't imagined her feelings for him; he had been right when he told her he knew she felt the same way.
What did that mean for them now? What did he want it to mean? Could they find their way to each other and become the family he always wanted them to be? Was it too late for them? What would Allie think, and Jack?
Nathan's dreams were full of Elizabeth, Jack, and Allie. He saw flashes of what their lives could be, their wedding, more children, including a dark-haired little girl with his eyes and her mother's smile. He saw Allie grow up, becoming so like her mother, and Jack, the image of his father. He saw them laughing, all of them as he and Elizabeth grew old together, all his dreams coming true. Nathan woke with a smile on his face.
The morning flew by, and before he knew it, Nathan stood outside Elizabeth's row house - the horse and wagon he borrowed from the livery tied loosely to the Verandah post. As he raised his hand to knock, the door opened, and he came face to face with a smiling Elizabeth.
"Good morning, Nathan. We heard you arrive, come in, please. We are almost ready to go, but we need to find Jack's other glove," she explained, rolling her eyes with amusement.
Nathan smiled as he followed her inside, greeting the children as they searched for the missing glove. He declined Elizabeth's offer of coffee or juice while they waited, knowing the glove couldn't be too far.
"I packed some snacks for the trip and have a thermos of coffee and some biscuits Allie baked."
"I have coffee and the banana bread we baked, too," Elizabeth said. "It seems as though we both had the same idea."
"And we know how long Alliee will take to find the right tree." Nathan chuckled when Allie huffed at him, hands on hips.
"You appreciate the tree when I find it. Who wants a terrible tree?"
"Not me!" Jack said. "Hey, I found my glove," he exclaimed excitedly, pulling it from his coat pocket.
As Elizabeth and Allie laughed at him, Nathan helped the little boy put both gloves on.
"It's cold outside, Jack. You will need these out there." Glancing at Elizabeth, he said, "I put some blankets and cushions in the Wagon, too; I'm pretty sure we will need them."
Nathan followed Elizabeth and the children outside, helping Allie and Jack into the back of the wagon. After the children were settled, he helped Elizabeth, so she sat up front next to him. As Nathan rounded the wagon and climbed up, Elizabeth surprised him by raising the edge of the blanket covering her legs, covering his with the same one.
"Thank you, Elizabeth," Nathan spoke, but his words were barely audible. The small gesture from her was so intimate.
"You're welcome," she said softly, nervously fussing with the blanket as he clicked his tongue and got them underway.
When they arrived in the woods, Nathan parked the wagon and grabbed the axe as Elizabeth waited, helping Allie lift Jack from the wagon. The moment his feet hit the ground, Jack grasped Allie's hand, and the two took off running, hurrying to where Allie had seen what she thought was the perfect tree.
Now they were alone, Nathan felt compelled to say something, anything about what she revealed to him the previous night. He wanted to acknowledge her words, her apology; he needed to tell her he understood.
"Elizabeth," Nathan said. "About last night...what you said." Nathan stopped and turned to face her, "I thought about it a lot, and I wanted to thank you. For explaining everything to me, for your apology." Nathan gazed into her eyes. He was pleased to see curiosity and warmth there. "I hope we can go back to the way things were between us."
"Friendship?"
"I have missed you, Elizabeth, and our friendship, so yes. As for anything more... it's just that I'm struggling to understand how a woman accepts a marriage proposal and then, when she ends it, gets over it so easily." Nathan bit his lip as he tried to convey his doubts about what she had said. "I think I need to understand more about that."
'I've missed you too, Nathan. If friendship is all you can give me after everything that's gone before, I understand, and I promise to accept that. I want you in my life, you, and Allie, in whatever way you two are comfortable.' Elizabeth momentarily looked down at her feet, "As for my ending the engagement... you're right. It seems sudden to those outside it, but I always knew something was not right or missing, and I hid it from everyone, obviously too well."
"Dad! I found them, three perfect trees!" Allie exclaimed, bursting through the trees with Jack close on her heels. "Come on, they're not far away."
"I bet my definition of not far away is very different from Allie's." Nathan smiled when Elizabeth laughed aloud easing the tension between them. It was very nice to be here like this with her and the children. Holding his arm out for her, he said, "Let's go and get our trees."
"Jack looks tired, Allie," Nathan said. "We might have to decorate the tree in my office tomorrow." They had finished the tree at the Thorntons first, and then theirs. They had agreed to leave the Mountie office tree until last.
"But Dad, if we don't decorate it tonight, we might run out of time."
"I'm not even sure there are enough decorations left, Allie. Maybe we won't worry about having another tree. The one we have here is perfect."
"I have some leftover decorations, Nathan. Allie and Jack made so many new, special ones for me as an early Christmas present that there's a whole box left upstairs in the closet."
"Why don't I stay here and give Jack a snack and his bath while you decorate the Mountie office." Allie suggested, "I don't mind waiting with him; I'm pretty hungry, too."
Nathan watched Allie as she rubbed a hand over her stomach, as though she was starving despite the cookies they had eaten while decorating Elizabeth and Jack's tree. He rolled his eyes. He knew exactly what she was trying to do. He looked at Elizabeth to see if she had noticed and caught her biting her lip, trying to stop her smile.
"I could walk over with Allie and Jack and get the box of decorations and meet you outside," Elizabeth said, shrugging as though what she had suggested wasn't a big deal. "We could have supper together when we get back."
"All right," Nathan said. turning away from their smiling faces, needing a moment to hide his own smile. While tree hunting, he had made a decision. He would accept Elizabeth's apology, understanding her actions were driven by fear. He would trust her feelings for him and embrace them. Now he had to tell her, show her what he still felt for her.
Before Nathan could set the box of decorations down to open the door for her, Elizabeth opened it for him. He acknowledged the gesture and followed her inside, placing the box of decorations on his desk.
They stood together, staring at the tree, assessing it, and discussing how many decorations they would need. Elizabeth opened the box and started separating the different ornaments, putting them to the side as she counted each one. Nathan had also brought some of his and Allie's leftover decorations, so she added them to the growing pile.
They worked together, hanging the different ornaments on the tree, starting at the bottom, and working their way up to the higher branches. Elizabeth went back to the pile and began sorting through them again. They were running out of branches to hang decorations, and despite Nathan's concerns, there were more than enough decorations for the tree.
Sifting through the decorations, something on the desk caught Elizabeth's attention. Before she could stop herself, she reached out and picked it up.
"I'm sorry to read your mail, Nathan, but I couldn't help noticing this invitation to the Mountie Ball. Are you planning to go?" Elizabeth stood with the letter in her hand, waiting for his response, noticing the flush of colour on his cheeks. "It isn't just the usual invitation, is it? This one is special?"
"They want me to go and be recognised for my medal; there is a group of Mounties who have received commendations throughout the year, and at the ball, they mention them."
"And that's the last thing you want or need," Elizabeth teased, knowing how much Nathan hated to be the centre of attention.
"Exactly. I don't need any more recognition than I have already received, and it's the Saturday after Christmas, and I don't have anyone to cover me, and Allie would need someone to look after her, so…." he finished speaking with a shrug.
Elizabeth and Nathan had talked about her trip home to Hamilton after Christmas, and he knew she was taking Jack to see her family. He knew she would be in Town at the same time as the Ball, and would be free to accompany him, but she refused to invite herself.
"I understand, Nathan, but it is an honour to be invited and recognised by your fellow Mounties. You deserve to have a fuss made over you." Elizabeth turned away from Nathan and said, "I'll have to watch for the Mounties in Hamilton; Jack will love seeing so many in one place."
Elizabeth returned the letter to his desk, her heart heavy at the lack of invitation. Staring at the desk to avoid making eye contact a flash of red caught her eye. She reached out, picking up the delicate ornament, smiling as she looked down at the red cardinal. Elizabeth remembered the last time she hung the cardinal on the tree, well, when Nathan hung it on the tree. She remembered the sensation of standing close to Nathan, feeling the heat of his body, the butterflies that had swirled in her stomach as she stared up at him. She had panicked then about her growing feelings for him, and of course, with Allie close by, it hadn't been the right time.
"What do you have there?"
Elizabeth didn't answer; she just turned to him, stretching out her palm to show him the cardinal. She watched his face as he realised what she was holding. He looked up at her, smiling; she knew he remembered.
"With his red colouring, I think it belongs on the Mountie office tree."
"Yes, he does," Elizabeth agreed as she walked to the tree and reached up, as high as she could, to hang it in one of the few remaining branches that were still bare. As before, she wasn't quite tall enough to reach the branch, and she paused, waiting to see what Nathan would do next. Elizabeth heard him move toward her but didn't turn to look at him. She felt it when he stood behind her, so close she could feel the tension in his body. She shivered as she stood still, feeling his warm breath against her cheek and neck, waiting for him to reach out and stretch up, his arm encircling her.
His touch was soft as he took the ornament from her and hung it on the tree. Elizabeth watched as he gently, almost reverently, placed the red bird on the branch, looping its golden string around it.
Elizabeth heard Nathan inhale, his breath shaky, and she knew he was as affected as she was by their closeness. She closed her eyes, savouring the sensation of being there with him, knowing she wanted more. She needed more. Turning, Elizabeth faced Nathan, looking up into his piercing blue eyes, meeting his intense gaze with her own.
Elizabeth watched as a small smile flitted across his face, his dimple flashing on his cheek. His eyes were intense as he stared down at her and took her hands in his, holding them gently.
"Come with me," Nathan said quickly. "I would go if you were by my side if you were there with me. If you want to..."
"Of course, I want to be there with you, Nathan." Elizabeth interrupted. "I would love to go with you, and Allie can come too; she can stay with my family; you both can," Elizabeth said hurriedly before stopping, laughter bubbling over. "The details don't matter tonight; we can work them out tomorrow. For now, finishing this tree and going home to the children is more important. I can't wait to see Allie's face when she realises she is coming to Hamilton with Jack and me."
"All your messages to your Mum can't be about food, Jack!" Allie laughed as Jack cited another food-related reason he loved his Mother. Allie had been working with Jack on making his mother a special present for Christmas, a gift from the heart and not a store. Jack had decided to write a book for his mother because books made her happy. Each page in the book would have the heading, 'I love you because..followed by the reason he loved her and wanted to thank her and a picture showing it.
So far, Jack had several pages beginning with 'I love you because and the reasons were because she baked him cookies, cakes, and pancakes.
"Can you think of anything your Mumma does for you that doesn't involve food?" Allie asked patiently, not wanting to give him the ideas.
"I love it when she sings to me, especially when I wake up at night and when she reads me stories and tells me stories about my daddy." Jack was excited as the ideas flowed out of him. "I love it when we have dinner at the Cafe and visit with Goldie, Aunty Rosemary, and Uncle Lee. I love it when we visit Sargeant."
"That's wonderful, Jack. I will write them down for you, and you can draw the pictures for her. When it's done, we will turn it into the book."
Allie wrote down Jack's reasons for loving his mother and watched as the little boy carefully drew the first picture under the words. The first one he had chosen to illustrate was them visiting Sargeant, and Allie was pleased to see Jack had drawn her and her dad, too.
Allie wondered how the Mountie tree decorating was going, hoping that her father and Mrs Thornton were taking the time to discuss what was happening or not happening between them. Allie had watched Mrs Thornton try to talk to her dad, and he managed to avoid her each time. Allie hoped that by throwing them together, her dad would finally listen.
Allie was sure what Mrs Thornton had to say would be worth listening to. Allie could see how much her teacher wanted to speak to her dad. She often invited him inside for dinner or a drink, but he always said no. Allie saw Mrs Thornton watching him when he wasn't looking and heard her sigh a lot when he declined her invitations. Allie was determined not to say anything to her dad about Mrs Thornton; he had been so devastated when she chose to be with Mr Bouchard. Allie also tried not to get her hopes up, but it was hard not to when she could see how perfect they were for each other.
"Quick, Allie!" Jack called, breaking into her thoughts. "I can hear them coming."
Allie and Jack laughed together as they scrambled to hide his drawings. Allie thrust them to Jack, and he ran upstairs to hide them in his room before he and Allie hid them properly later. Allie was sitting on the lounge when the door opened, smiling at her dad and Mrs Thornton as they hurried inside, cold air blowing around them.
Allie's eyes widened when she saw her father reach for Mrs Thornton's coat, hanging it on the hook, smiling down at her as he did. Did his hand brush her cheek? Why was Mrs Thornton smiling like she had a very important secret? These simple things caught her attention. Something was different between them; she could tell. There was a new closeness, a shared familiarity and connection she didn't quite understand, but it made her very happy. Allie bit her lip to hide her smile as she greeted them, but inside, she screamed in delight.
Hamilton
Nathan's mouth went dry as he gazed up at Elizabeth, walking down the stairs toward him. He could feel their families watching him, watching the two of them, but he didn't care; he was mesmerised. Elizabeth seemed to float down the stairs toward him, and he couldn't take his eyes off her.
"You look beautiful, Elizabeth," Nathan whispered when she stood before him.
"Thank you, Nathan. My Mother and Allie helped me select it. You look handsome, too, even though I know you hate being all dressed up."
Nathan smiled as he took her hands, looking down at her left hand, at the engagement ring he had given her the night before. He knew it was old-fashioned of him, but he wanted to meet her parents before asking her to be his wife. The Thatchers had welcomed Allie and him into the family, and when he had spoken to Grace and William about his plans, they had been delighted. He wasn't sure who had been more excited, Elizabeth, Allie, or Jack, and it didn't matter. He had asked the only woman he had ever loved to marry him, and she had said yes. He knew it was sudden, and people might think it was too soon but they didn't care. This love story was years in the making and neither of them wanted to waste any more time for the sake of what others might think.
"I don't mind dressing up if I get to spend the evening with you."
"Good, because you will have to do it again soon for our wedding."
"Soon," he teased.
"Very soon!"
"What are you two whispering about?" Allie asked, interrupting their private moment. "You need to hurry, or you'll be late," she said, shaking her head. "You can't be late for the ball, especially when you're one of the guests of honour."
Nathan and Elizabeth allowed themselves to be bustled outside and into the waiting car, laughing with the other adults as Allie and Jack took charge. When they had waved goodbye and were underway, Nathan took her hand again, gazing at the sparkling diamond on her hand.
"Happy?"
"Delirious," she whispered. "I meant what I said, I can't wait to marry you and start our lives together." Squeezing his hand, she laughed and said, "I told Rosemary our news this morning; she will probably have the wedding all organised by the time we get home next week."
Nathan groaned at the thought of what Rosemary might organise on their behalf.
"I love you, Elizabeth, and I don't care what Rosemary dreams up for our wedding. I'm not worrying about anything tonight but enjoying this evening with you. I can't wait to dance with my fiancé." Nathan took advantage of the darkness in the car's back seat to press a quick, chaste kiss against her lips, pleased when she deepened it.
"I can't wait to dance with you either. The first dance of the rest of our lives."
Nathan dropped her hand and traced the curve of her face with his calloused finger, smiling at the love he could see reflected in her eyes. Being here with her, knowing they would be together forever, was better than anything he had ever dreamed.
