At Sister Jessica's, Krieger is amusing a few mercs sitting up at the bar with a humorously morbid story.

"So, the doctor says, 'The bad news is you don't have that long to live'. So, the patient says, 'How long do I have?' The doctor says, 'Five'. The guy says, 'Five what?' And the doctor says, 'Four, three, two…'" The mercs at the bar, seeing where this is going, begin laughing, with Krieger joining them shortly after he's finished. In the background, we turn our sights on Ajax and Dingo, who enter the bar wearing all black. Krieger takes a sip of beer before turning to face them. "Can I help you ladies?" he asked. Upon taking note of them, everyone turns their attention towards the two newcomers as Ajax strolls up to the bar.

"Oh, I do hope so." Dingo walks between the bar and stands next to Krieger as Ajax stands across from him from behind the bar. "I heard you might be able to point me in the direction of a, um, friend of mine. Name of Sterling Archer."

Krieger, sensing that this could mean trouble, looks adamant. "Sorry. I don't know the name." Krieger lies, not wanting to expose his friend.

Ajax nods then tilts his head and Krieger eyes him. Upon noticing something behind Krieger, her nods towards Dingo. "Hey, you're not supposed to be behind the bar," Krieger tells her. But Dingo simply ignores him, shoving him off to the side and pulling down the instant photo of Archer and Lana. She observes the photo as Krieger bites his lip in embarrassment, considering he was the one who put the photograph up in the first place.

"I've seen this girl," Dingo said, handing the photograph to Ajax.

"Ah, this must be Lana," Ajax said. "I've heard so much about you."

Dingo grabs Krieger by the throat, lifting him off his feet and pinning him up against the drink cooler. This results in all the patrons standing to their feet and aiming their guns at Ajax & Dingo, who barely even flinch. "Um, sweetheart, you might wanna look around. This isn't really the place to do something like that." He said, stating the obvious.

Ajax merely smiles and motions towards Dingo. "Easy, Dingo. Put the little man down." Dingo lets him go, setting him to the ground before turning towards Ajax. "We have everything we need now." Ajax and Dingo proceed to leave the bar, allowing for the patrons to holster their weapons

"You sure?" Krieger asked. "You don't want any clothes that are not monochromatic? Have fun at your midnight showing of Blade: Trinity." Once the duo has left the vicinity, Krieger breathes a sigh of relief. "Thanks for having my back, guys," he tells the patrons of Sister Jessica's. He then hastily rushes towards a nearby phone, dialing a number to Archer to explain the situation. "Archer, we have a fucking problem. And by 'we', I mean 'you'.


Later that evening, the duo is shown walking down the street, with Archer wearing very thick clothing to hide his appearance.

"Ah, I can't believe I'm doing this," Archer said, terrified beyond all rational thought. "Is there a word for half afraid, half angry?"

"Yeah, 'afrangry', I guess," Krieger pointed out. "Have you decided what you're gonna say to her?"

"Fuck me!" He angrily whispers under his breathe.

"Uh, maybe not start with that," Krieger said.


Krieger & Archer enter a strip club where naked women dance on a stage to Flo Rida's 'GDFR' ft. Sage the Gemini and Lookas, bathed in pink light.

"Hey, coming onto our stage right now, give it up for Chastity!" A strip club emcee (Played by ZNBT) announces, resulting in an uproar from the audience.

Archer & Krieger begin looking around for Lana. However, Krieger's more preoccupied with what's currently happening onstage rather than Archer's current situation.

"Or as I like to call her, Irony," Krieger said to his friend.

"Better find her fast before numbnuts does," Archer said.

"How do you know she's in here?" Krieger asked, his attention drawn towards a sexy waitress as she passes by him.

"Because I'm constantly stalking that fox," Archer answered, regaining Krieger's attention.

In slow motion, Archer & Krieger make their way through the club. A blond stripper walks up to Krieger, touching him flirtatiously. Now on his own, Archer continues through the club as the music begins to fade out. Eventually, he stops and stares when he spots Lana, currently working at the bar while wearing a short, tight black dress with matching garters, causing all the noise in the background to fade out completely as he looks on in longing.

"Every time I see her, it's like the first time…" Deadpool began to speak through voiceover. "Especially from this angle." He watches her from behind as she grabs drinks to add to her serving tray, with her ass sticking out in a very pronounced fashion, enthralling Archer. Archer moves towards her, his brow furrowed and his lips slightly parted. He stops before he gets to her, and angles away just as she turns. He hurries off and she looks around, touching the back of her neck. Soon, the music and cheers fade back in as Archer walks off, angry and upset with himself.

"You can't buy love, but you can rent it for three minutes," the emcee announcers over the intercom.


In the bathroom, Archer splashes his face with water before staring at himself in the graffiti clad mirror.

"Ah, you weak motherfucker!" he says to himself in anger before beginning to psych himself up. "Come on! Come on, get it together. This isn't about me; this is about Lana." Archer nods to himself, signifying he's ready to go back out there to win fair maiden's heart. "Here we go. Maximum effort."


Out in the club, a man in a black shirt cranes his neck. "Lana… Lana... Lana… LANA!" he screams to get her attention, prompting her to angrily walk towards him, while holding a tray of glasses.

"What?!" she replies, irritated.

"Someone out back asking for you. Something about, uh, an old boyfriend." He shrugs as she stares at him, aghast by what he just told her.


In a dark, rainy alley, Lana steps out from the back door wearing Archer's old jacket. The door shuts behind her and she looks around. The rain wets her dark hair as she spots a hooded figure, leaning against a wall in the shadows. Slowly, she steps towards the figure. "I knew it was you," she said, believing the figure to be her long-lost fiancée. "The weird, curvy edges. Like a jigsaw puzzle."

The hooded figure moves toward her, stepping into the light. Then, Lana's smile fades as she sees Ajax's face. "You have Sterling Archer to thank for this," he said, coldly. She backs away, then Dingo knocks her to the ground, disorienting her. Dingo smiles evilly as she crouches down.


Back inside, Archer looks around and approaches Krieger sitting with a blonde. "Hey. Hey! Where'd she go?" he asks him, desperate.

"Um, I saw her head to the back," Krieger answered, handing Archer a jacket as he continues to stare at the stage. "Go get her tiger."

Archer steps out in the empty, rain-soaked alley and looks around. His eyes fix on something on the ground... his Dreamland coin purse. He bends down to pick it up, holding it in both hands. He throws desperate looks down both sides of the alley, immediately surmising that Ajax and Dingo got to Lana. "Fuck. Fuck!" he says, softly.


At Malory's, Archer is visibly furious as Krieger attempts to quell his rage, to no avail.

"Motherfucker!" he yelled out, throwing something to the ground in fury.

"Wait, wait. "Let's… just…" Krieger attempted to speak between Archer's ranting.

"Cock juggling!

"We can talk about what we're gonna..."

"Jiminy! Fuck face!" Archer furiously pounds a dummy.

"Okay, or you can hit that. Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"Fuck! Fuck!" Archer practically beats the thing to a pulp, letting out all his aggression.

"No, no. All right. Hey!"

"Fuck! Fuck!" Once he's finished dealing with the dummy, he lets down his hood, revealing a visibly pissed expression. "Fuck!"

"Hey, um..."

"Whoa! Whoa!" Archer yells out, apparently having released all his rage.

"Relax. Relax. Okay. Okay, I think that's a good start."

"Oh, I'm gonna rip his motherfucking…" Archer begins, still retaining several components of anger, until a cell phone rings, ending his tirade.

"Wait," Krieger tells him, hearing the phone.

"Find it! Find it."

"What?"

"I'm gonna get angry."

"Okay. All right." Krieger begins searching for the phone on the messy table. "All right. Okay. All right." He locates the phone underneath a sock with the picture of a red bass inside a circle. Krieger looks at the phone, which appears to have a message sent from Lana. "Here. This is Lana."

"What?" Archer asked, surprised.

"No, wait. It's Keith," Krieger said, correcting his mistake. "He wants you to come to him."

"What is that?" Archer asked, pointing at an emoji sent alongside the text Ajax sent to Archer's phone.

"That's the shit emoji," Krieger said. "You know, it's the turd with the smiling face and the eyes? I thought it was chocolate yogurt for so long."

"I need guns," Archer said, fuming.

"Okay, which ones?" Krieger asked.

"I need all the guns! I'm going full rampage on his ass!" Archer said, slamming his fists down on the table.

"All right. Okay," Krieger said, fearful towards Archer's rage-filled demeanor.

Krieger, Malory, and Archer pull guns from cabinets and drawers as heavy metal music begins playing in the background. Others are taken from their spots, including the shower, taped to the bottom of a table, and hidden behind a decorative pillow. Archer loads a bag with a wide variety of guns, tossing in a magazine of with Ryan Reynolds as the 'Sexist Man Alive' on the cover alongside all the ammunition, while Krieger dumps in ammo boxes.

"That's about 3,000 rounds," Krieger comments.

"We all know what I can do with 12," Archer says to the audience. He & Krieger then turn to see Malory holding a weapon right at them. "Hey, hey, careful with that, Ronnie Milsap! We're downrange." Krieger takes the gun away from her and gives it to Archer.

"I was gonna spend the night assembling the Börje, but this is holding my interest," Malory said.

Archer stops what he's doing and turns towards her. "I told you, we're going the Urvaj, not the Börje. Get it through your head or get out of fuck town," he yells at her, angrily.

"Shit," she says as Archer turns his attention back towards his bag of rifles. "That's all the pieces in the house."

"Nah, nah…" Archer said, believing she still has one piece left on her. "Come on. Let's go. Cough it up. Up, up, up." Malory lifts up her pant leg, revealing a gun within her ankle holster. Archer looks away, feigning disgust. "Oh. Down, down, down."

"Fuck you," Malory said, giving Archer the pistol, which he puts in the back of his suit.

".45 cal. I like it," Krieger said, impressed. Archer picks up the bag and turns towards Krieger. "Archer…" They shake hands. "I'd go with you, but I don't want to." Archer gives him a pat before pausing at Malory.

"Uh… Listen Malory…" Archer confides in her. "If I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. And also, uh, there's about 116 kilos of cocaine buried somewhere in the apartment, right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck." He heads towards the door as Krieger looks towards Malory.

"You wanna get fucked up?" Krieger asked.