Chapter 1

One of the many reasons Israel 'Izzy' Hands despised Stede Fucking Bonnet was because he reminded him of himself as a much younger man. As a teen Izzy loved reading, tales of adventure, daring deeds, monsters and seeing the world; but his very favourite were romances and tales of chivalry. Particularly Thomas Mallory's Arthurian Legends.

Like Stede, at the very core of himself Izzy was a complete romantic, and like Stede he was forced to squash this part of himself as a child. So, he hid his love stories and romance from the world, and most of all himself. His father and mother believed that there was only one way to be a man, the only emotion a man was allowed to express was anger, as any other emotion was unbecoming of a boy. You always had to be tougher than anyone else, to win, to be the last person standing, no matter what, no matter the cost to your soul. You did what had to be done. And so, the boy who loved romance, beauty, and art, who wanted to be desperately rescued from the situation he found himself in like a princess in a storybook, became a man he hated. He grew up and became a hard, nasty man who delighted in breaking other's spirits. Just like his father and mother.

What those, no matter how, close got to him ever found out was that at 14, Israel Hands had fallen in love with a boy a year older than himself, who served in the tavern his parents owned. Izzy could still picture him now, in moments when he found himself alone with his thoughts. Jonathan was a beautiful, slender young man with latte coloured skin, and wavy, soft, shoulder length black hair that reminded Izzy of raven feathers.

Jonathon was a general dogsbody, he served tables, ran errands, moped up (because the tavern was certainly never cleaned by him, that was the work of women and would have earned both Jonathon and Izzy a whipping if either were caught doing anything a woman was supposed to do). Izzy's job was to make sure the money kept flowing, getting the punters drunk so they carried on splashing their cash, and if an unlucky customer found themselves blackout drunk, well, they would be alleviated of any coin they had left. Izzy hated doing it, he felt it wasn't right, but to go against his parents would mean he would be punished. That meant being locked in the cellar without food or light for days, with only hungry rats, who would try and eat him if he fell asleep. He would only be let back out when the tavern coffers began feeling the lack of Izzy's pickpocketing.

Izzy wasn't allowed a life outside of the tavern, he couldn't have friends or relationships. Otherwise, others would find out what happened in the dockside tavern where he and his parents resided. His world was purposefully kept small.

Izzy was initially disinterested in Jonathon, he was by no means the first dogsbody his parents had employed, the first he remembered was Jemima, a 12-year-old blonde girl who sneaked him scraps of food if he had been locked in the cellar as a small boy. His parents had auctioned off her virginity to the highest bidder when she turned 14, then sold her to the whorehouse down the road. They had laughed and mocked her tears as they handed her over to the man in his fifties who had bought her maidenhead. Then there was Aiden a small mousey boy who kept his head down and worked hard no matter what was asked of him. He disappeared one day after Izzy overheard his parents shouting at him about missing money. Then was Melly they were older than the others, a red head with the most beautiful bouncy curly hair. Melly was the first time Izzy at 10-year-old had felt the stirrings of infatuation. They were pressganged into the navy one evening and taken onboard a naval vessel against their will. There were 2 more between Melly and Jonathon. Izzy had stopped taking notice.

He did notice Jonathon after a while. Jonathon had the most beautiful wrists and collar bones; he had a luxurious lazy smile and a laugh that lit up the room. Izzy couldn't help but notice whenever he was near, it felt like the air before a lightning storm. Whenever his eyes met Jonathon's across the crowded bar, he couldn't help but smile. Both boys were early risers. It was in these quiet moments when they had woken in the early morning behind the bar where they slept on their jackets that they became close.

One day Jonathon noticed the corner of a book poking from Izzy's coat pocket and pulled it out before Izzy could react. Izzy was mortified and expected to be humiliated for the womanly interest of reading. He began to stutter out an excuse, but was brought up short when Jonathon asked, "what's it about?" as he began leafing through the pages with interest.

"Quests, and knights and chivalry," he flushed waiting for Jonathon to laugh at him, but it never came.

"I love a good knight's tale," Jonathon smiled "can I borrow it?" Izzy had never met someone else who liked reading, or who could, it was something that came naturally to him, no one had taught him how to do it.

Izzy felt reluctant to give up his favourite book, he had very few things that were his, but he found himself nodding. Jonathon carefully put the small book in his trouser pocket saying "Thanks, Izzy, I'll keep it safe, don't worry about that- "

They both jumped as Izzy's dad came noisily down the stairs and into the bar.

"You lazy fucks get this place sorted and opened, we don't make money if there's no patrons." He glared wickedly at the boys as raced they to do their chores.

~o0o~

Izzy recalled the moment when a few weeks ago Stede and Ed came on to the deck dressed in each other's clothing. Ed looked like a complete ponce in that fine linen shirt and shantung silk breeches. Izzy could almost imagine what they would feel like against his skin, and he was awash with envy. The fact that Stede Cunting Bonnet was allowing himself an attempt to discover his authentic self almost offended him.

A moment from his childhood came unbidden to his memory, he must have been no older than 6, but he remembered dressing up in a woman's damask silk dress while his parents ran the pub downstairs. There were a few of them that his parents planned to sell on after they washed up in a crate near the harbour. He felt lovely and pretty, as he twirled around in the dress, that was many times too big for him, with joy.

"What do you think you're doing, you little shit?" Shrieked his mother suddenly behind him making little Izzy jump and abruptly feel terrified as the woman grabbed hold of him and ripped him from the dress. "You disgust me, dresses are for women you hear me!" Quick as a flash she had the poker from the fireplace in her hand and used it to smack the backs of his small legs more times than he could count.

Izzy shakes his head to dislodge the memory as he heared say, "Did you see that Izzy? That was amazing." He looks so pleased with himself; he could almost punch him.

"A word captain…" He said as he led Blackbeard below decks.

"You can be a real bummer sometimes, you know that?" Blackbeard bites out once they're alone.

"When you tasked me with trackin' that absolute idiot, I did that no questions asked. And when we traced him to a Spanish warship, I attacked that ship losin' several of our men, by the way." Izzy closed the space between them, using the proximity to attempt to intimidate his captain.

"Mmm, that's kind of the point, they're pirates." Pointed out Blackbeard as tried to walk away from him.

"For years, I've followed your every whim, I've managed your increasingly erratic moods, I've massaged this crew when they were worried about your judgement."

"Mmm, sounds stressful, Izzy." Dismissed Blackbeard as Izzy continued to confront him.

"It is, but I did all that because I was honoured to work for the legendary Blackbeard," he hissed "the most brilliant sailor I had ever met. But now, you're just an insane, unpleasant shell of a man who is merely posing as Blackbeard." He spat finding his momentum in the hurtful things he was saying to get a rise out of Teach like he normally did. It didn't matter to him that he had helped create this unstable, despicable man who was now in front of him looking shiny and new with the limerence of his and Stede Twating Bonnet's first meeting.

"That's Blackbeard," Ed as he pointed out the door where Stede was dressed in his black leathers. "I'm Stede remember." Teach deflects.

"I'm not dying – not for that ponce and not for you. So, I'm going to devise a plan, and when we've, once again, barely eked by to fight another day, I will very willingly offer you this – my fucking resignation, you absolute twat!"

How could Blackbeard allow Bonnet to humiliate him like that, how had he got into his head so quickly…

A memory flashed into his mind of Jonathon's hand brushing his as he handed back the small book he had borrowed from Izzy.

"It was such a beautiful story, the romance, the chivalry, the bravery. Don't you wish you could go there and escape the life we have here." Jonathon's face lit up as he and Izzy talked about their favourite parts of the book. He tells Izzy about his most beloved stories, he likes stories of love the most, not just romance but friendships too. Izzy can't look away from Jonathon's mouth as he talks, and wonders what it would feel like to press his lips against Jonathon's. Sat together on the floor behind the bar, listening to the rain as it hit the window of the tavern while they talked. It felt like it was just the two of them in the world when Jonathon's little finger brushed Izzy's little finger while their hands were next to each other on the floor. Izzy looked down as butterflies erupted in his stomach and saw that Jonathon was doing it purposefully. He looked back up to see his favourite luxurious lazy smile spread across Jonathon's mouth as his eyes sparkle at him from behind his long lashes.

Longing awakens in Israel Hands as he reached out to gently graze Jonathon's jawline with his fingertips, and into his hair. It really was a soft as feathers. Jonathon leaned closer to Izzy and softly brushed his lips along Izzy's making him gasp then smile at the feel. Jonathon pulled back slightly to see if Izzy was alright with what had just happened. Izzy closed the small gap between them kissing Jonathon firmly, then pulled him into his arms to hug him tight. They stayed like that until the sound of stirring from upstairs brought them to abruptly back into the bar.

The boys sprung up before they were discovered. Jonathon grabbed the bucket from behind the bar and runs to the pump in the courtyard behind the pub, Izzy began to sort the empty beer barrels and bottles from the night before. When Jonathon re-enters with a mop in hand and a full bucket in the other, he whistled a song that Izzy had never heard before. He had just begun to ask about it when his father came down with a "shut that idiot noise up and get this pub open. I'm obviously not working you hard enough if you have time to whistle". Izzy winced at the sting of the bittersweet memory.

~o0o~

Israel Hand had had enough of Teach's crush on Stede Wanker Bonnet. True his word he was leaving now that they had managed to escape to Spanish thanks to a bit of fuckery. He chucked his few belongings into a boat that he was about to lower into the water.

"Izzy?"

He turned to see Blackbeard approaching him and continued to throw stuff into the dingy saying "I said somethings I regret last night. I don't think you're a shell of a man, or a twat." As he did so. He leaned on the side of the ship and sighed as Blackbeard joined him to look down at the gentle sea.

"You were right, man. About all of it…" Admitted Blackbeard restlessly. "Have you ever heard of "retirement"?"

"Mm-hm. That's not much of an option in this line of work." These were Izzy's favourite moments with Blackbeard, when it was just the two of them like when they were younger. He could still feel that brotherly bond between them that had been forged over decades of being best friends and each other's found family when they had had no one else. He gazed across the empty sea. "The only retirement we get is…death."

"And what if Blackbeard turned up dead?" Mused Teach, this caught Izzy's attention, "His corpse disfigured beyond recognition, of course."

"But still be identifiable as Blackbeard." Izzy liked where this plan was going.

"Well, he's wearing Blackbeard's clothes, he's on Blackbeard's ship."

"What happens to you?" Izzy wonders aloud.

"I'm not even here. My name's Stede Bonnet. I'm a wealthy landowner. Of course, the crew would need a new captain, someone who really knows the ropes…"

"You mean me." Izzy had always wanted to be captain of his own vessel, and in a way, he had with him and Teach leading the crew. They had created the Blackbeard persona together, creating a legend in their own lifetimes, but he had never had a crew of his own. He smiled to himself, feeling seen and valued, by the one person whose opinion mattered to him more than anyone else. "I suppose it could be me, yeah." He nods slightly.

"I need you here", says Blackbeard patting him on the back and moving away.

"Edward? You still got it." He called, smiling at the man, who still gave him butterflies all these years later.

"I know." Teach says opening his arms and bowing his head slightly. The infatuation Izzy had for Teach had never been discussed by the pair of them, and if Izzy was honest with himself, it's the reason why he had never tried to go it alone. He always hoped that it might grow into something more one day. If he was going to captain his own ship, he would be Blackbeard's equal and might have a chance to move their relationship into something more than they had already.

Izzy remembered the first time he had felt seen and cared for by another. He had been having a nightmare, one cold night, as he slept behind the bar of the Hope and Anchor. As he tried to find his way out of the intimidating darkness of his dream. He felt a hand gently shake his shoulder and a soft voice ask, "Are you alright, mon ceour? You were calling out in your sleep".

It was Jonathon. Izzy took a shaky breath in, and Jonathon pulled his jacket over the both of them and wrapped his arms around him. Making him feel safe. Something that had been severely lacking all of Izzy's young life. Jonathon began to quietly sing a melody as he stroked Izzy's shoulder with his thumb.

"Il est entré dans mon cœur

Une part de bonheur

Dont je connais la cause

C'est lui pour moi, moi pour lui dans la vie

Il me l'a dit, l'a juré, pour la vie

Et dès que je l'aperçois

Alors, je sens en moi

Mon cœur qui bat…"

"You were whistling that the other day; I didn't know you knew French…" Izzy whispered.

"My mum was French, she used to sing it to me when I was little, and I was frightened. We always spoke French when we were together…" He trailed off as his voice breaks with emotion.

"What happened to her?"

"She died of a sweating sickness nearly 2 years ago," sighed Jonathon. "I'll teach you it if you like?" He says changing the subject.

"I'd like that." Smiled Izzy as he turned over to kiss Jonathon on the nose.

It was in those snatched quiet moments over the course of the next year that Izzy learnt not just the words to La Vie En Rose, but also how to speak French. Those moments became one of the most cherished memories.

Thank you for reading, there will be more...