A creaking door, chill cooling her hot cheeks and two hushed voices gave Sakura a sign that someone had come.
She turned her head toward the noises, picking up her father's characteristic cough. The other person she couldn't recognize from anything. The smell of strong male perfume was not familiar to her.
Sakura shuddered; her parents had finally done what they wanted.
The door closed, the footstepping sound indicated only one person in the room. A man was approaching the living room. Perfume hit her nostrils with redoubled force. The sudden thump of cards against the countertop startled Sakura; she was not yet used to loud, unexpected sounds.
"Sakura," she turned her head in the direction from which the voice came, "I am Sasuke, your new caregiver."
She didn't respond. Sakura wanted to get up and leave, but she was afraid to take even one step. She knew the arrangement of the rooms and furniture in the house, but the darkness in front of her eyes made it difficult for her to move at all.
She only clenched her hands on the armchair.
"Go home." she said firmly, through a clenched jaw.
"Unfortunately, this is impossible. Your parents have already paid me off for a month."
Sakura's breathing sped up. It had been a long time since she had been so angry. Fury flowed through her veins, mingling with pain and feelings of betrayal. How could they do this to her? After all, she would learn to move, live and function on her own after the accident, she didn't need support. Let alone a private caregiver who was supposed to spend his days with her. They made Sakura feel that she was more disabled than she actually was.
"Leave me alone." she hissed, lowering her head.
Sasuke placed something on her lap.
"If you need me, press the button."
By the quiet clatter of feet against the floor, Sakura concluded that he had disappeared from the living room, probably heading to his new room, which her parents had already prepared a month ago.
She reached for the device on her legs, squeezing it tightly in the hand and tossing it in ahead of her.
She didn't need anyone.
...
Maybe she was a little wrong after all.
Sakura was lying on her bed, with a sore bladder. She had no intention of calling Sasuke and asking him for help. She had managed to avoid any conversation with him all week. Sasuke would only bring Sakura's meals to her room and, after a few unanswered questions, leave. She knew he was still in her apartment, but paid no attention to any sounds he made.
During that week, she was able to get up and wash herself - she did it once in the entire seven days; eat - she felt under her feet that a few pieces of food had fallen to the floor; use the bathroom...
Until today.
Sakura squirmed in pain. She should have already gone to pee a few hours ago, but she always made a lot of noise while doing so, bumping against the furniture, thus attracting his attention, which she didn't want at all. And as before she had her mother next door to help, now she only had Sasuke - whom she didn't want at all.
She twisted to the other side, feeling the end of the bed with her hand. Sakura dragged herself there and lowered her legs down. She knew that five steps away was the door to the bathroom. She just couldn't remember how much space she had between them and the nightstand. So she took the first step carefully, but on the second step she tripped over something on the ground.
She made a bigger bang than she meant to.
"Sakura?" immediately sounded Sasuke's voice.
Sakura clenched her teeth, feeling the pain in her ankle. She didn't answer him, silently hoping he would go away. Of course, she was wrong.
"Are you all right?"
Sasuke suddenly appeared beside her. She felt smooth hands on her forearm. Too good feeling - she didn't want it.
"I don't know. I'm blind, haven't you noticed?" she replied unpleasantly, jerking out of his grasp.
He paid no attention to her words and the bitterness of her tone.
"Do you feel any pain?" he tried again. Sakura's head turned in the direction of his voice, but after that question she escaped his gaze, "Sakura."
"Why are you here?" she asked suddenly, clenching her hands into fists.
She needed to know what he was lacking, so she could then try to bribe him and send him home.
"I'm not here to talk..."
"Answer my question then I'll answer yours."
Sakura heard him cluck his tongue.
"I needed money."
"How much did my parents give you?"
"Sakura, stop."
She felt like shouting at him for daring to speak to her like that, but then she felt his hand wandering over her body and most likely watching her closely; and for a long time too. Sakura shuddered. She was so exposed and vulnerable again. Again.
"Nothing hurts me." she said through clenched teeth - a lie, but she wasn't about to admit it "Now leave me alone, I need to use the bathroom."
"I'm here to support you Sakura. I can see that you are not doing well. Let me help you."
Sakura wanted to scold him that he was only doing it for the money, and if it weren't for that, he wouldn't even care about her. But what was the point of telling Sasuke the truth?
Lacking the strength to resist him, she let herself be led, gnashing her teeth in anger and pain.
...
She had been lying like this for maybe two or three hours after waking up, without moving from her spot. Sakura struggled to slowly convince her body to rise. She had spent the last few days in her room, letting Sasuke in only when he brought her food. She still couldn't gather the courage to ask him for more. There were only fourteen days left until the end of his paid month; after that, she would send Sasuke home.
Through her nose, she drew in the air, feeling nothing but breathlessness. She should finally air out the room.
"You can do it." she repeated, "You can do it Sakura."
She rose at last, her hand tracing the thin satin bathrobe she had set aside earlier on the bed frame. She covered herself with it, placing her feet slowly on the floor. The cold ground pierced Sakura with shivers.
Counting down to ten in her mind, she prepared to leave the room. Sakura struggled to move around her own apartment; through her own fault, because if she had given herself some help, she would have been able to move around here without difficulty a long time ago. She didn't even want to use the white cane.
Carefully leaving the room, she surprised herself - she didn't bump into anything for the short distance. Now the more difficult part began.
Three times she crashed into some furniture, accidentally knocking over something of glass. This caught the attention of Sasuke, who, though he didn't say anything, stepped right behind her.
"I feel you."
"Hn."
"I can handle myself."
"Aa."
Sakura grinned in annoyance, clenching her jaw. He was starting to get on her nerves again.
"This way is the living room, turn left." she sensed him right next to her right side "And put your hands out in front of you at least, since you refuse to use a white cane."
"I know very well where I'm going." she said with her head held high, turning to the left. She wasn't going to respond to the second remark.
She could have stood her ground and gone to the living room, but her stomach was grumbling unmercifully, and Sasuke was in no hurry in the morning to give her breakfast to her room. Sakura sensed that he did this on purpose so that she would have no other option but to leave her 'cave'.
"What do you want to eat?" he asked, eluding her.
Sakura mused for a moment, recalling all the bad sandwiches she had eaten since he started working here.
"I want to make scrambled eggs."
"Sakura- Okay," he suddenly grabbed her wrist, leading her toward the countertops, "I'll help you."
He left her alone for a moment. Sakura could hear the refrigerator and cabinets opening. Sasuke was preparing the ingredients.
He returned to her, placing something in front of them; Sakura sensed with her hand that it was a bowl; and handed Sakura an egg, still holding her hand.
"I know how to crack eggs."
"I don't doubt that you could do it, but it will be more difficult now." with his other hand, he grabbed Sakura's free hand and slowly ran his finger over the rim of the bowl, "Can you finally stop being so stubborn, Sakura?"
She turned her head toward the sound of his voice, feeling his breath on her cheek.
"I'll try." she said grumpily.
They got down to work. Sasuke showed Sakura everything carefully and with due time. He possessed a lot of patience, she noted. She, for her part, began to get irritated after getting a second accidental burn by touching a hot pan. For that, Sasuke put her fingers under cold water, congratulating her for every job well done - Sakura couldn't say she liked that.
Sasuke allowed her - she gave him no other choice at all - to approach the table by herself; although he moved her chair away specifically.
"Enjoy your meal." they said together.
Sakura held her fork tightly, busying herself with the prepared meal. It came out much better than Sasuke's previous mediocre meals.
"I want to cook more often from now on." she communicated. If she wanted to survive the next two weeks, some things had to be taken into her own hands despite her reluctance.
"As you wish."
"And I'd like..." she paused, chewing her scrambled eggs. It would be a step forward. A step she was afraid to take "You will show me the apartment. I need to start moving more freely around here."
Sasuke, as if sensing Sakura's difficulty with this request, answered nothing but nodded his head - which was total stupidity - and quickly corrected himself.
"I would be glad to."
Sakura imagined him smiling. Not so broadly, but more so teasingly. Though she had no idea where that came from. After all, she had never seen him, and she didn't know what color his hair, eyes, clothes were, or what expression he usually adopted.
"That's it."
They ate the rest of their meal in silence. The clock killed, informing Sakura of the noon hour. So much more time until the next day.
Sasuke pushed back his chair with a rustle. Sakura's ears hurt. She was already about to admonish him not to do that again when the doorbell sounded in the apartment.
"I'll see who it is."
He left her alone. Sakura knew it wasn't her parents, they held the key, so they could enter whenever they wanted.
After nine seconds, she heard the door open, a scream and a hard slap. She shuddered, freezing in place.
"We haven't seen each other in a long time, Sasuke." a loud male voice spoke.
Sakura grabbed a dirty fork, preparing to possibly get up. Nothing in particular you can do, she rebuked herself, cursing at her own words in her mind. She was helpless.
"Get out of here and never come back again."
For the first time, she heard the venom in Sasuke's tone.
"But Sasuke, we still have so much to tell each other."
The momentary silence gave Sakura hope, which shattered after a moment, as did the glass. The sound of what was most likely a broken vase that her mother had once left there reached her ears, setting off every nerve at once. Sakura jumped up from her seat.
Sasuke could be hurt. She had to do something, anything.
Unfortunately, she didn't sense an obstacle in the way, because how was she supposed to, and she collapsed to the ground. The fork flew out of Sakura's hand without doing her much harm.
She heard contemptuous laughter.
"I didn't think you would fall so low." the stranger's panting voice testified that it was Sasuke who attacked him, "You live now with a clumsy woman."
A second, stronger blow this time, was delivered by Sasuke.
"Get the fuck out." he howled.
Sakura raised her head wandering with blind eyes around the apartment.
"Oh, blind." was the last thing she heard before the door slammed shut.
The derision in the man's voice shook Sakura. Her eyes became glassy and her lip began to twitch. Aside from the disappointed tones of her parents, compassionate from friends and a dispassionate from doctor, Sakura never heard disgust.
"Sakura, I'm sorry. Is something hurting you?"
She swallowed saliva, turning her face away from Sasuke. She didn't want him to see the tears streaming down her face. She never wanted anyone to see her breaking down from pain, despair and fear of another day. Every day she tried to tell herself and others that all was well, and that the accident had not left such a big trauma in her heart at all. She still wanted to lie to everyone, giving herself unnecessary hope.
"No." she said quietly, trying to keep her emotions in check. However, she knew that Sasuke sensed the tremor in her voice, "What are you really doing here, Sasuke?"
"I didn't lie to you, Sakura."
"Then who was it? How did he know you were here? And why was he so aggressive?" silence "Answer me!"
"It's not that simple. Someday maybe I'll tell you."
'Maybe' circled in her head. Sakura moved away from Sasuke, not turning her head once. She needed space, solitude and to get Sasuke as far from her as quickly as possible.
"Will you leave me alone, please?"
He hesitated, but finally went deeper into the apartment. Sakura clenched her fists on her bathrobe, letting the tears flow without much restraint. She didn't cry for a long time.
...
Sasuke's room was so... quiet. That was the first thing that popped into Sakura's mind. She couldn't even hear the ticking of the clock.
"Now this." Sasuke handed something new into her hand.
The cold material made Sakura shudder. She rode her fingers slowly over the object, touching every crease and protrusion. She had been doing this for a good two hours, ever since Sasuke came to her room announcing that they could start 'lessons.'
After yesterday's events, he didn't speak to her until the afternoon of the following day. Sakura herself didn't want him to see her in a bad state, but when he came in with dinner in the evening she felt strange that he didn't even say a word. It didn't suit her. She preferred him to speak - even one sentence an hour, as was his frequent habit.
That's why she was happy when he finally came for her.
"Lamp." she said, feeling the switch and bulb at the end.
"Good. And now this."
"Sasuke, why did you give me the lamp? You were supposed to show me the apartment, not ordinary objects."
"You must be able to distinguish everyday objects" he emphasized the word "from the first touch, Sakura."
She sighed. Taking another object, she had had enough. She put whatever it was aside. Sakura stretched her hands forward, suspending them in the air.
"I want to know what you look like." she said in one breath.
She couldn't see, but she felt Sasuke holding his breath. He hesitated before taking her wrists in his palms.
"Why are you asking for this now?"
Sakura parted her lips. She hadn't expected the question. She thought he would simply do her bidding and that was it. She had to think about the answer, though it all seemed pathetic to her. After all, how could she explain her sudden change of decision towards him; the fact that maybe he wasn't so annoying anymore, and his presence had become bearable?
"If you know what I look like, why can't I?" she responded with a question to question, considering it the safest option.
"So be it."
Sasuke rested her gentle hands on his face. Sakura felt an incredible softness. She didn't know why she had previously thought his face would be rough, but to her surprise he didn't even have a hint of a beard. His cheekbones were highlighted, and moving her fingers further, she felt his eyebrows. Nice and well-groomed. He seemed to be all well cared for. Moving her hands higher she ran them over his forehead and finally got to his hair.
Sasuke continued without letting go of her wrists. He followed right behind her, sinking into the touch of her fingers.
Sakura reached from the top of her head to the back.
"You have funny hair." she laughed, twisting one strand.
"My hair is not funny."
Silence fell, broken after a second by Sakura's even louder laughter. It had been a long time since she'd had so much joy from a simple conversation.
"I assume you look funny in person." she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.
"At least I comb them."
Sakura stopped making sounds, opening her mouth wide and squinting her eyelids. She placed her hands quickly on her head, trying to arrange her hair in a measured fashion.
"Well, you know what. You got me out of bed so unexpectedly that I didn't have time to comb them."
She heard a short laugh. Suddenly the phone rang. A terribly loud sound rustled in Sakura's ears. She shuddered, covering them up. Sasuke could at least turn it down.
The young man stood up, moving some distance away. Sasuke did not leave the room, but spoke in a voice too hushed for Sakura to understand what he was talking about and with whom.
Sakura was playing with her fingers when Sasuke asked a question.
"When will your parents arrive?"
"Tomorrow."
Mebuki let her know about their visit this morning. Sakura had not yet taken the time to share this information with Sasuke; she didn't even know if she wanted to tell him, much less if she wanted to see her parents.
"Why do you ask?"
"I'll tell you tomorrow."
She irritated. Sakura turned her head in the direction of his voice.
"You might as well tell me today. I'm the one who lives here and keeps you under my roof. I deserve at least honesty."
"I am honest, Sakura,"
"But you keep secrets from me."
"Each of us has some. Tomorrow." he crouched so close to Sakura's face that she felt his warm breath on her cheek "Now let's get back to work."
She did not resist, taking an object from the floor.
...
The evening was approaching fast. Before her parents' visit, Sakura asked Sasuke to teach her the arrangement of the apartment as best he could. She didn't want to hear unkind words from her mother again, complaining about her incompetence.
With a good memory and great willingness, Sakura managed to move freely from her room to the living room and kitchen; that was enough for now.
She was currently sitting in the kitchen, trying to eat dinner. Her stomach was growling, but that uneasy feeling still sat inside, preventing Sakura from focusing on anything but Mebuki's face.
She was spooning the oatmeal she had made with Sasuke's help, when unexpectedly a man's hand came to rest on her shoulder. Sakura flinched, chastising herself for this reaction.
"Could you somehow inform me next time that you're approaching?" she asked, sighing heavily.
"Sorry." Sasuke took his hand off Sakura's body, although he didn't need to do so at all; she even wished he had held it a second longer "Your parents are already at the door. Come."
She stood up confidently, following Sasuke. Sakura heard the door open, followed by echoing footsteps.
"Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit." she greeted them unusually pleasantly.
"Mr. and Mrs. Haruno." Sasuke also greeted Sakura's parents.
She stood there, awkwardly waiting for the first words from either of them. The extremely protracted silence doubled Sakura's fear.
"I see, Sasuke, that you finally managed to get her out of bed, congratulations."
"Mom..."
Sakura played with her fingers, lowering her head, wanting to protect herself from everyone's gaze, which she didn't need to see at all to know they were watching her.
Sasuke coughed, saving Sakura from more humiliation.
"I'd like to talk, Mebuki. It's quite important."
"Okay. I'll be right back to you, Sakura."
They left them alone. Sakura walked to the living room, feeling out the couch and sitting down on it. She put her hands together, trying to force them to stop shaking. She felt another weight next to her, followed by a cold hand brushing her hair away from her face.
"Stop hiding your pretty face, sweetheart."
Kizashi ran his fingers gently over Sakura's cheek. It was the first time in a year and a half, since they found her on the floor barely alive, that her father had touched her. Previously, after the overdose, he had only watched Sakura from afar, not approaching his daughter.
He was ashamed of her then, so why should he change now? There would always be shame in the back of his mind that he felt, Sakura was sure of it.
"Stop it." she pulled away from Kizashi.
"Oh..."
The man let go of his daughter, not even knowing what he could supposedly say to her more.
Sakura waited impatiently for Sasuke to return and for her parents to leave. She was sick of the whole show they were playing now. They were trying to pretend to be good parents, as if they hadn't helped her at all for the past year out of compulsion. If they could, they would disown Sakura, leaving her alone. But they wouldn't do that, they would ruin their reputation, and it was the most important thing to them.
The loud clatter of a file of cards against the table quickened Sakura's heart. Her mother's perfume reached her nostrils. Mebuki knew very well that Sakura was afraid of sudden, unexpected and loud noises, and continued to do so anyway.
"Now we can talk quickly, dear daughter,"
"I'm listening to you." she replied, with feigned joy.
"I discussed a few things with Sasuke and noticed that you have made progress. I would like you to continue to cooperate with Sasuke."
"So you call it cooperation." she snorted.
"Yes. Thanks to him, you are no longer so..."
"Clumsy, unnecessary, useless?"
"You know that's not what Mom meant, dear." interjected Kizashi, irritating Sakura.
"Because you know best what she meant! Sasuke can come home at the end of the month, I won't need his help anymore."
But I will still need him as a friend. Sasuke became the one person who began to give Sakura's life meaning.
"Yes, and Sasuke will lose his well-paying job, and you will lose the will to live again."
There was a long, awkward and prolonged silence until Sakura stood up impetuously, sick of her mother and father's presence. She clenched her jaw, fighting back anger and tears. How dare she say such a thing?
"Get out."
"Mebuki, apologize..."
"I'll be honest, Sakura," she continued, ignoring the pain evident on her daughter's face, "you already promised once not to touch that shit, and two months after you were released from the hospital I found you with it again. I don't trust you. I don't want my daughter to be a junkie. Do you know what a pain that would be for me?" she said calmly, enraging Sakura more and more. She would supposedly be hurt? "At that time we didn't send you to rehab, but if you refuse further help, I'll gladly put you there,"
"You don't have anything on me."
"But I have money, with it I can do anything."
If only she knew exactly where Mebuki stood, she would have dealt her such a blow that maybe something would have finally clicked in her head.
"I said, get out."
Kizashi placed a kiss on Sakura's cheek, saying goodbye. Disgusted, she wiped the skin of her face, wiping her tears as well. Sakura felt Sasuke's presence. His scent had become a daily occurrence for her.
"Sakura," he said softly, running his thumb over the corner of her eye, "I have to go somewhere, can you manage alone for an hour?"
"Mhmm."
"If you need anything, call me."
He continued to wipe away Sakura's flowing tears.
"I don't have your number."
"I'll type it in for you before I leave."
She muttered in response, still swallowing saliva. Sakura longed to be in her safe room, separating her from others. She wanted to be left alone...
A strong hand rested on her head and after a moment she felt warmth and a heartbeat. Sasuke held Sakura tightly, and unable to hold on any longer, she slowly wrapped her arms around that waist, unable to hold back her crying anymore.
For the first time, someone gave her a supportive hug, allowing her to release long-held emotions.
This was something new and long desired by Sakura, but every good moment must come to an end at some point. Deep in her heart, she felt embarrassment. Her mother made sure to make crying a bad, inappropriate, disdainful thing for Sakura. Her childhood had taken too big a toll on her.
She uncrossed her arms, taking a step away from Sasuke, accidentally bumping into the back of the couch. Sakura wiped away the last of her tears, covering her face with the hair, hoping that way he couldn't see her.
"You can go now," she said.
"I'll be back soon."
"Okay."
"I left your keys in the kitchen, just in case."
She heard him swallow saliva. The nervousness in Sasuke's voice was hard to notice, but it was there. Sakura nodded, wishing he would leave her alone already.
A gentle breeze streaked her cheek. Sasuke's hand almost rubbed against her face; however, something stopped him. The boy left, closing the door loudly.
Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. With her heart beating fast and her breathing quickened, she headed to her room. Through her distraction, she bumped into a table, dresser and bed. She cursed quietly under her breath, bruising her calf.
Sakura ran into the bathroom, with her hands trying to feel the hanging shelf. It was somewhere over the sink, but stress, of unknown origin, was eating her from the inside. She finally had to stop it.
Encountering the round handle with her fingers, Sakura pulled the door too hard. She heard shattering glass. Pieces of glass fell to the ground somewhere - someday she might clean them up. With her hands, she searched for the only medicine box. She kept them here, always, in case the same situation as now happened to her.
Rubbing the outside of her hand on something plastic, she heard a familiar noise. She took out the medicines, pouring out a handful. Sakura separated three pills, putting the rest back into the package.
She turned on the tap, scooping up the water and ingesting it greedily. Swallowing the pills, she waited for them to start working. She got the tranquilizers prescribed by her doctor a year ago. Since then, she has used them maybe three times, fearing she would fall back into addiction.
But now she needed them like air.
Sakura held tight to the sink, breathing through her mouth. Maybe she should lie down? Yes, yes, that's the best idea.
She walked slowly to her room. Laying down on the bed, she thought about closing her eyes and falling asleep.
...
She was awakened by a knock. Sakura opened her sleepy eyes, listening to the pounding on the wood. How long had he been standing there?
"Sakura, I'm coming in." she didn't have time to answer when the scent of his perfume hit her, "Were you sleeping?"
"I was resting."
A half-truth is better than a lie, she thought.
"I didn't want to bother you..."
"You're not bothering me." she assured, raising herself to sit down.
Sakura squirmed at the dry feeling in her mouth. She needed a drink of water, but first she had to explain a few things to Sasuke. She didn't know how much of the conversation with her mother he had heard. But, one thing was certain - she didn't want him to get the wrong impression about her.
"Sasuke." she whispered.
"Hn?"
He moved closer to her.
"As for my mother's words, I've been clean for a year and I've already..." she stopped as her heart began to beat fast, even unbearably.
Sasuke crouched down.
"Sakura." he said it so softly; never has her name sounded so gentle in someone's mouth "You don't have to tell me about your past. Not when it's hurting you." he took Sakura's face in his hands, turning her toward him "Do you understand?"
She nodded dully, opening her mouth with the intention of saying something. The words stuck in her throat, but Sasuke waited, giving her time.
"... I wish you knew more about me."
"I know enough about you, Sakura. Everything in its own time." he let go of her face, rising from his crouch "Now I have something to show you. Or perhaps more to introduce someone."
Sasuke caught her forearm and Sakura let herself be led.
They passed a long hallway, turning toward the kitchen. A clock ticked on the wall, the sound of passing cars came from behind open windows. Nothing special, Sakura heard it every day.
They entered the kitchen, stopping abruptly. It was... strange in here. Sakura felt an extra presence - not the perfume let her know it, but a different, distinctive smell.
The glass clattered loudly against the table.
"Oops... sorry."
A childish, girlish voice came to her ears.
Sakura stopped dead, holding her breath. She gripped Sasuke's sleeve tightly; anger boiled inside her.
"Who is it?"
Sasuke didn't answer immediately, but placed his hand carefully on her back, intending to communicate to Sakura to come closer. She didn't give in, having no intention of taking a step further.
"My niece." he let Sakura off, sensing her displeasure, "I had to take her from home."
Sasuke's words echoed in her thoughts. The silence was interrupted by that shallow, different, awful, unbearable sound of breathing. It all went from extreme to extreme.
"Get this child out of here,"
"I'm not that kind of child anymore. I'm twelve..." the girl said calmly, but that was enough to enrage Sakura.
"I don't care how old you are, get out of here and go to your house!"
"Sakura!" shouted Sasuke.
Shouted, he actually shouted at her. The last time anyone raised their voice at her was the doctor, leaning over the hospital bed as she sat in the chair next to it and watched life disappear.
They were terrible memories, ones she never wanted to recall, so she lost herself in every new drug to exclude them from her memory. And Sasuke reminded her of it now.
"How dare you yell at me? "she said it dryly, through clenched teeth.
"God, Sakura, you're shouting at an innocent child."
"She's guilty! She came here!"
Sakura would like to see the look on his face now. To be able to know what Sasuke was thinking of her, without reading into the way he spoke or his choice of words.
"Could you lower your tone of voice? You're scaring her." he reached out to touch Sakura's shoulder, but she moved away. Instead, she laughed at his request, waving her hand in front of her face, as if to show him that, as he already knows, she is blind and how could she know that this child is scared. Sasuke finally caught her wrist "Stop. The situation was unique, I had to."
"Then why don't you tell me what happened?"
She heard a heavy sigh.
"I don't want to involve you in this."
"Well, sure." she snorted "Today I won't tell you, maybe tomorrow. I'm not lying to you, because I'm not telling you anything at all. I'm honest, in theory." she laughed at Sasuke's earlier words, with bitterness in her heart "I feel like an intruder in my own home."
"Only a week." he did not referee to Sakura's last sentence "Mebuki..."
"Don't even finish it."
She turned, walking out of the kitchen. She took her steps confidently, although her mind was playing tricks and she couldn't remember exactly where what was standing or which corner to turn.
"Sakura, where...?"
"Because of everything you've done for me, I'd forgotten that you were just working here. I thought you at least liked me a little, foolish me!"
The footsteps echoed loudly behind her, but Sakura pushed forward. Once she knocked her hip against the wood, hissing in pain. On the last straight, she had to prop herself up against the wall because she felt she might lose her balance soon. Sakura's head was spinning.
She rushed into the room, locking it for the first time.
The pull of the handle reached her ears.
"Sakura?" Sasuke tried to open the door "Open, please. I'm sorry, I don't want to go back to the beginning. You know I like you." he stopped jerking the handle for a moment, waiting for an answer, which Sakura had no intention of giving him "This is not funny." now he additionally began pounding his fist against the door "Sakura, open this damn door. I'm worried..."
She understood.
Sakura already knew perfectly well what her mother had told Sasuke. She had done the same thing with Ino in the past. Her former friend had also once tried to open the door at all costs; to get inside because she thought only of the worst.
And then Ino left her.
Sasuke will also leave her one day.
"I won't do anything to myself, Sasuke, you can stop."
...
Two plates stood on a tray. One with chopped fish and the other with onigiri. One of Sakura's favorite dishes made by him; because the others came out poorly, she once said.
In addition to the smell of food, there was also tension in the air. Yesterday's argument was the last thing Sasuke thought would happen. He didn't think Sakura would react this way.
He was guilty, he didn't say he wasn't. He should tell her and ask her opinion, but he had little time to get his niece out of the house.
Everything happened so fast that Sasuke did not think soberly.
He was putting rice in a bowl when Aya entered the kitchen. She sat quietly on a chair, with her head lowered. Black long hair covered her eyes - so similar to Itachi's that when Sasuke looked into them, he imagined his brother right next to him.
"Uncle." the girl asked uncertainly.
"Yes?"
"I feel bad that because of me she hasn't left the room since yesterday and that I made so much fuss and... I just wish I could go back to my mother."
Sasuke put the bowl down on the tray and set it on the table, leaning over Aya. The girl looked into his eyes. The red corners and swollen eyelids made Sasuke sad. This was not what he wanted for her. Aya had been listening to her mother's arguments with Fugaku for a month, and now she had come to a new place where she was not welcome.
"It's not your fault."
Aya slightly cheered up.
Sasuke reached for a flower - a peony. He had bought it at a flower shop on his way from his morning shopping. He unwrapped it and placed on the tray with food.
"Did you buy her a flower?" Sasuke nodded "You never bought anyone any. Not even your girlfriend."
He smiled lightly at Aya's words.
"We weren't together."
"Something else she told me." Aya squinted, as if wondering about the truthfulness of those words. She shrugged her shoulders, however, moving on to another topic "Do you care about her?"
Sasuke froze. The question took him by surprise. How was he supposed to answer it? Did he even know the answer to it?
Only 'yes' pressed against his lips, but was it appropriate to catch feelings for the person you must care for? Sasuke was Sakura's caregiver; he was not supposed to become her lover. What would her parents think? And Sakura herself?
Sasuke imagined her twisting her face into a grimace, disgusted at his confession.
Aya waited impatiently for an answer, which Sasuke had no intention of giving. Someday he might be able to solve this problem.
He looked at his niece's fingers holding a plain white piece of paper.
"What's this?" he pointed with his head to the object.
"Oh," she handed Sasuke the thing, "I've read some articles on the Internet and watched one video to do this. It says 'I'm sorry'."
Sasuke looked closely at the unwritten piece of paper, noting the raised dots arranged in two columns. Braille alphabet. Aya increasingly impressed him - she had inherited a lot from her parents.
"Give Sakura time." he said and took the tray.
Sasuke stood in front of the door to Sakura's room. Knocking three times, he didn't get any answer. Another wave of stress sat in his stomach. He had to believe that she hadn't lied to him.
Before he could knock once more, Sakura opened. She stood in disheveled hair, blue sweatpants and a thin strapless blouse. She looked like she had just gotten out of bed, and it was already 4pm.
"What do you want?"
Blind eyes wandered around.
"I made food."
"I'm not..."
"You need to eat, Sakura."
He walked past her, putting the tray down on the desk. Sakura walked up to him, grabbing Sasuke by the blouse. She was still angry. Terribly angry. Her too-clenched hand on his clothes proved it.
Sasuke ran his eyes over her hands - Mebuki told him horrible stories he wouldn't want to experience before his own eyes. She was clean.
Sakura leaned over the table without letting go of Sasuke. She sniffed the food, loosening her shoulders, causing the strap to slide down. The blouse lowered a bit, so Sasuke corrected it. When his fingers brushed Sakura's skin, the girl shuddered, tensing her muscles.
"Leave me alone."
"As you wish."
...
Behind that closed door was all the chaos of Sakura's life. The thing from which the pain began and has continued to this day. A piece of the soul of a person who left nothing but suffering for the family.
Sakura turned the key, opening the room of grief. The airiness of the place struck her at once. Running her fingers over the wall, she felt the unevenly laid plaster. No one had finished renovating this place.
Listening again to the message left by Sasuke on the voicemail, she made sure the boy had really left. She didn't want him to catch her here, much less let that child hang around.
Sakura finally entered the room. She leaned over the floor, her hands searching for the teddy bear. The toy was here somewhere; Sakura had thrown it into the small room on the first day after moving in, sick of the sight of it. She could feel the dust gathering under her fingertips; maybe someday she should clean up here.
She moved her right hand sideways and encountered something soft. Her finger trembled and heart beat harder. She found it. Slowly, with fear and sadness, she picked up the mascot. Although she couldn't see now, she remembered the yellow-orange lion perfectly. A symbol of courage which accompanied her every time she visited the hospital. But who needed courage more? Her - an alive and healthy person, or a dying person?
Sitting down, Sakura hugged the mascot to her chest. Stupid memories, unlocked by a stupid child. Sasuke, if he only knew, would have kept his niece away from her. A mistake once made would happen to Sakura once again, she was sure of it.
She lay down, still embracing the lion. Imagining her beside her, she sank into memories. Maybe if she had continued to live Sakura wouldn't have fallen into addiction, her parents wouldn't have hated her and she would still be able to see.
Maybe... there were so many possibilities.
"Sakura!"
The silence and peace were disrupted.
Her blood boiled. It was a child's scream. Sasukes's niece was here and screaming for help; that's what it sounded like. A cry of despair; Sakura knew it all too well.
"Sakura!"
Sakura's breathing sped up mercilessly. She struggled to get more air into her lungs. She had to do something. Standing up on shaky legs, Sakura's head spun and her memory failed her. Somewhere she should go, somewhere else she shouldn't, because she'll hurt herself; but where?
"Where are you?" she choked out, through a clenched throat.
The girl must not have heard her, because she continued calling her name. Sakura's heart began to ache. The forging doubled with each step; the contents of her stomach came up to her throat.
"Where are you?" she whispered, cringing at her condition.
Tears flowed uncontrollably down her cheeks. Sakura backed up against the wall, stopping herself. Following blindly was doom.
"Sakura!"
Sasuke.
She heard nets hitting the floor, quick footsteps and finally felt warm arms.
"What happened?" she asked quietly.
"I called Aya to tell her I was coming back, and asked her to give you a phone."
"You weren't in the room, and the glass was scattered in the bathroom, and I thought..."
Sakura's heart skipped a few beats. Stabbing in her chest didn't stop.
"You were in my room? Why did you go in there without permission!"
Freeing herself from Sasuke's grasp, she slammed her side against the dresser and knocked something down, shattering it. A piercing pain cut through Sakura's head. She wobbled, but kept pushing forward, feeling like tearing this child apart. By what right did she do such a thing.
"You are scaring me."
Those words were worse than a punch in the face. Sakura stopped abruptly - she had heard exactly the same thing from the four most important people to her at that time. Her mother and Ino hurt Sakura the hardest.
"Sakura, are you okay?"
"I feel sick."
She saw no point in lying to Sasuke. Her heart was about to jump out of her chest if she didn't do something. Suddenly she lost contact with the ground; Sasuke took her in his arms.
"What do you need?"
"Medicine, it's in the cabinet above the sink. Two."
Sinking into the soft mattress, she tried to calm her breathing as she waited for Sasuke to return from the bathroom.
"One, Sakura, you are only assigned one per day."
Had she fallen asleep for a while, or had time flown by at redoubled speed that she didn't even hear Sasuke return to her? She didn't want to unravel that mystery. Accepting the pill, in her mind she begged for it to work or for Sasuke to give her another one.
She swallowed the medicine, accidentally choking on water. Sakura felt Sasuke's hand running through her hair in a gesture of reassurance.
"Sasuke," she said helplessly. She knew he was listening to her; loud and clear, "You have to get her out of here. I don't want to kill her like I killed my sister."
