"Nooo!" the livid scream was followed by a soft hit with a pillow. "Stop it!"
Mulder and Scully awoke to an angry child pulling their covers away and climbing on the bed in between them.
"Good morning to you too," Scully mumbled.
"What's wrong, Betty?" Mulder asked in confusion.
"You!" Betty pointed an annoyed finger at his face. "This is not your bed! You can't sleep here!"
"Don't be rude," Scully said, burying her face in the pillow. It smelled like sleep that Betty was so determined to steal from her.
"No! Mom!" Betty turned towards her on her knees, grabbed her by the shoulder and started to shake her. "Mom! Mom! MOOOM!"
"Mulder!" Scully pleaded, and the strong arm pulled the child off her.
"Why are you here?" Betty started to cry in Mulder's embrace. "You don't live here, it's not your bed, you can't do fucking with mom, it's wrooooong!"
"Do WHAT now?" Scully sat up, wide-awake at last. She glanced at Mulder, and he just shrugged, as confused as she was.
"I don't want you to have sex," Betty explained through tears.
"We were just sleeping," Mulder offered helplessly.
"But you went on a date and people go on dates for fucking and then they hate each other and I don't want that!"
"Betty," Scully said seriously. "You need to stop saying the f-word, ok? And tell us what's wrong. You were happy that we went on a date, you picked a dress for me, helped me with the make-up… Why is it bothering you all of a sudden?"
"I am not happy anymore!" Betty kept crying.
"But why?" Mulder and Scully asked simultaneously. They looked at each other, neither of them having any idea what was going on.
"Stop doing that!" Betty yelled at them again. "Stop talking to each other with your eyes!"
"We aren't…" Scully started, but shook her head in resignation, not knowing how to finish the sentence.
"Ok," Mulder turned Betty towards him and cupped her face with his hands. "How about I talk to YOU with my eyes?"
"I don't understand that!" she protested.
"Just try it. Humor your old dad, ok?"
He looked her in the eyes for a few moments, as she sniffed and calmed down under his gentle touch. Suddenly, it hit him.
"You played with Lily yesterday, didn't you?"
Betty nodded.
"Her parents are divorced," he remembered. "They got back together last year, and things were great for a while, but it didn't end well."
"They hate each other," Betty confirmed. "Lily is very sad."
"And you are afraid it could happen to us," Scully concluded with a sigh.
"I don't want you to hate each other," Betty started to cry again. "I like how it was. I don't want it to change."
"We won't hate each other," Mulder promised, but it only upset her more.
"You don't know that! You can't know the future!" she insisted.
"We've been through too much together to start hating each other after all that we endured."
"Your dad is right," Scully added. "When people fall in love they are usually having a great time, but don't know each other all that well. Sooner or later, they will have disagreements, and if they don't know how to communicate and accept their differences, their relationship can fall apart… Your dad and I, we've been friends for a long time, we know each other well, and despite our differences we always respected each other. That's not going to change. And even if we don't stay together, we will always be your parents, and we will always love you."
"But what about dad? Do you love him?"
Scully chuckled and shyly lowered her gaze, before looking back up at Betty, and then Mulder.
"Of course I love him," her voice was barely above whisper. Mulder smiled encouragingly, but she couldn't hold his gaze. She closed her eyes, overwhelmed with sudden, deep sadness.
How was it possible that her child needed to ask such a question?
"You know how I asked him to be your father?"
"Yes," Betty smiled despite her bad mood. She loved that story. "And he said YES!"
"He did, but I never told you what happened before he did."
"Yes, you did! Your doctor told you that he could make a baby if you find a father, and you asked dad to be my dad."
"He offered to help me find a father," Scully clarified. "A donor. Anonymous donor. I asked your dad because he was my go-to person, the one I could always count on. It all happened so fast, I didn't have time to fully process what was happening. When I finally sat down and waited for your dad's response, I thought about… Emily. Your sister. She was stolen from me, made in a horrible experiment, and her short life was filled with so much suffering. I found her, but I wasn't able to help her. I never found out who her father was, it's just one of many mysteries I'll probably never know. Emily was never meant to be, and I realized I didn't want another child with a stranger, made in a lab, for my selfish desire to be a mother at all costs. It felt wrong, and I was ready to give up. But then your father came over and before I managed to tell him that I've changed my mind, he said-"
"YESSS!" Betty cheered.
"It was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I suddenly felt such a joy and I knew that it wouldn't be a wrong thing to do, not with your dad. It turned out we had no idea what we'd gotten ourselves into, and we made lots of mistakes during my pregnancy, but at that moment, when you said yes," she was looking at Mulder now, with tears running down her cheeks. "I knew we were doing the right thing. Remember how I hugged you and you whispered in my ear, so quietly that I almost didn't hear you. But I did..."
"What did he whisper?" Betty's eyes grew wide. This was a new information to her.
"I'm hoping for a girl," Mulder answered with a smile. He didn't need eidetic memory to remember that moment. It was the kind of thing simply impossible to forget.
"Really?" Betty's excitement grew.
"Yes," Scully confirmed. "We may not have been in love in a traditional sense, but we loved each other in a different way. And we loved you, from the moment you were just a possibility. You are a child of love, always remember that."
"You are," Mulder agreed. "No one and nothing can ever take that away from you."
"You wanted me to be a girl?" Betty needed another confirmation.
"Of course," Mulder laughed, then planted a quick kiss on her forehead. "And here you are, my little purple queen."
"But what if I was a boy? Would you be sad?"
"No!" Mulder laughed again. "When we thought that you were going to be a boy, I loved you just the same."
"Why?" she was a bit disappointed now, not thrilled that a boy would be as much valued as she was.
"Because you were your mother's child. And if she chose another donor for your father, I'd still love you just the same."
"And…" Betty considered it. "If I was an alien?"
"I'd still love you," Mulder confirmed. "Though… I would probably have to do some experiments on you."
"Like what?" Betty teased.
"Like this," Mulder pushed her down and started tickling her, much to her delight.
"Do mom now," she gasped in between giggles. "Do mom, do mom!"
"Don't even think about it," Scully warned, getting off the bed. "What do you want for breakfast?"
"Waffles!" Betty and Mulder exclaimed in unison.
"Ok," Scully agreed.
They had a lovely Sunday breakfast together, after which Betty went to her room to play. Scully started to wash the dishes, while Mulder remained seated and lost in thoughts.
"What if she's right, Scully?" he asked after a while. "What if… we're making a mistake?"
"What do you mean?" Scully asked with her back turned to him. It was a conversation she wasn't ready to have. The air was suddenly heavy and full of uncertainty.
"I mean…" Mulder was searching for words. "Do we know what we're doing here? Could this… thing… come between us?"
"You don't have to worry about that, Mulder. I don't expect anything from you."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I mean," she turned to him, trying not to show how nervous she was. As much as she didn't want to say it, at some point it had to be out in the open. "You are a man, and it's only natural that one woman won't be enough for you… long term. When that time comes, I won't hold it against you."
"Whoa, whoa, wait a little!" he stood up and went towards her, but she raised her hand to keep him at a distance.
"It's not fair to ask you to commit, Mulder," she tried to explain, her voice shaking. "There's so much more out there for you, and I don't want to hold you back."
"So you want to date other people? Because that's how it sounds to me."
"Not me. I don't... need that anymore. You are going to be my last, Mulder, but I… I shouldn't be yours."
"Why?" he took another step forward, and she turned back towards the sink, desperately trying to hold back tears. "Because you're going to be my first?"
"That's exactly why," she wiped the tears with her sleeve. She felt so damaged, old, barren… He deserved more… Much more than a shell of a woman she'd become.
"Do I even have a say in this plan of yours?"
"Mulder, whatever you feel now," she turned back towards him. "It might change. And if it does, it's normal, it's natural, and I don't want to-"
"Hold me back. Yeah, I get that. Can I just say how this sounds to me?"
She nodded.
"It sounds to me like you are projecting your fear of commitment onto me."
"My… what?"
"What are you afraid of, Scully? Being enough? Falling in love?"
She reached to touch his cheek, his mouth, down to the chin. He lowered his head, inviting her for a kiss.
"I think I already fell," she whispered right before his lips found hers.
It was more than a kiss. It was shivers in her body, butterflies in her stomach, explosion in her heart.
It was a feeling long forgotten, long suppressed and buried in the depths of her soul, the one she long ago gave up of ever feeling again. She couldn't control it anymore, and neither she wanted to.
She was in love.
