"Everyone here knows what you're doing, you know. You're just trying to make up for all the terrible, awful shit you've done in your life, you pathetic little man," the hunter now calling himself Brad spat at Loki, who inhaled deeply at his words, refusing to let them hit their target.
Mobius noticed the agitation, and began to cut in. "Ok, that's enough. Here's—
"No no Mobius, it's uh… it's riveting. Keep going, I want to hear more." The god of mischief interrupted, smirking. He wasn't quite sure why he wanted to hear what else he had to say. Maybe he felt that he deserved whatever terrible things he accused him of?
"Good. See, everything you and Sylvie have ever done to help has only ever made it worse."
"Is that right?" Loki deadpanned.
"See I've read your file. It's you. You're the problem. Every time we've ever found a you. Problem is you think you're special, but you're not. So it doesn't matter what outfit you put on, play dress up or what little lies you tell your friends or even the lies that you tell yourself. At the end of the day, you just make everything worse. For Mobius, for B-15. For your mother…" At the mention of Frigga, Loki's jaw clenched, guarding his emotions. He had to keep up his unbothered facade, especially with X-5 here– he couldn't know that what he was saying was getting to him. The trickster could feel himself crumpling on the inside, recalling the tape Mobius had played for him when he first came to the TVA. You might want to take the stairs to the left…
"Because that's what you do. You lose . You're a loser ."
Loki took a deep breath, looking anywhere but at X-5. With those words, he found himself back on Asgard, a child again. He had fallen, tripped by Fandral. Sif and the Warriors Three were laughing at him as he struggled to push himself off the ground. Sif stood in front of him, towering over the fallen trickster. Young Loki peered up at her, blinking back tears. Sif sneered at him. "Are you crying? What a loser. Loki the loser, how fitting!"
"Loki…" Mobius warned, snapping the god back to the present. Loki let out his breath in a long exhale, fidgeting, restraining himself from letting his emotions get the best of him.
"Stop tryna be a hero man. You're a villain, and you're good at it. Do that." X-5 concluded his speech, smirking up at the dark-haired god.
Loki began chuckling darkly, hiding the pain he felt behind his mischievous mask, one that slipped into place so easily after centuries of using it. No one truly knew everything that hid behind that mask. It was safer this way– after all, the only person he could truly trust was himself.
"A villain, X-5? Maybe you're right. Maybe that is what I am– a loser, a villain. And maybe everything I've done since coming to the TVA has all been some elaborate trick to earn their trust." The trickster grinned wickedly. "A foolish thing really, trusting the god of mischief." He laughed, stepping closer and closer to X-5, dropping his smile, his face turning cold and calculating. He stopped when he was looming over the rogue hunter. "Maybe I've simply been waiting for just the right moment, to reveal my true nature." Loki grabbed the hunter by the throat, lifting him from the stool. X-5 clawed at Loki's hand, attempting to free himself. "So tell me X-5," he whispered. "What's stopping me from killing you right now? "
Mobius and B-15 rushed forward, shouting incomprehensibly at him. The analyst grabbed Loki's arm, forcing him to release his grip, as B-15 grabbed X-5 and pulled him out of Loki's reach. Mobius guided Loki out of the cell, with B-15 close behind. Once outside, Loki began to storm off, needing to be alone and as far from others as possible, lest he hurt someone he cares about. He ignored his friends calling after him– would they even still consider themselves that after what he just did? His pace picked up into a jog, and he found himself in the TVA library.
Looking around, he didn't see many people in the library. Good. He found a secluded corner and slid down the wall, burying his face in his hands. His mind swam with all of the terrible things he'd been told his whole life, that had more or less become a part of his identity. You're a villain. You're the problem. YOUR BIRTHRIGHT WAS TO DIE! He curled in on himself, pulling his knees to his chest and hiding his face against them, as a single tear escaped his eye. You are alone, and you always will be. Know your place, brother. YOU JUST MAKE THINGS WORSE. You weren't born to be king. You were born to cause pain and suffering and death. His silent tears grew into sobs, which he attempted to muffle. You really are the worst, brother.
The young god sniffled, and raked his hand through his hair. He was alone. He'd always been alone. He pretended that it didn't bother him, but it did. He hated being alone, feeling like an outsider, but that's what he was. He didn't belong on Asgard, but the Jotun didn't want him either. He didn't belong at the TVA, he should have been pruned when they first brought him here. There wasn't anywhere he could go, nowhere he'd have a clean slate to start over with. The Midgardians wouldn't accept him after he'd attempted to enslave them all. Maybe this world is better off without me. Maybe I'm better off dead. He conjured one of his daggers, turning it over in his hands contemplatively, his face now expressionless, but still wet with tears. He ran a finger across the blade to test its sharpness. Holding it up, he watched a drop of blood appear on his fingertip. He should have felt pain from the cut, but he felt nothing. Numb. Detached.
He'd rested the flat of the blade against his arm, feeling the cool metal against his skin, when a commotion broke out in the library. Startled, he lost his grip on the dagger, and it clattered to the ground. He looked around, seeking the source of the sound. He heard panicked voices, Mobius's being the loudest.
"Loki? Loki?" the analyst shouted, earning multiple shushes from the people that had been in the library already. Ignoring them, he continued calling the trickster's name, the sound growing in volume as he came closer to finding Loki's hiding spot.
Loki flashed back to his childhood again. He watched as Sif and the Warriors Three sauntered off, laughing loudly, most likely at his own expense. The young trickster pushed himself off the ground and wiped his eyes, before running to find a deserted servant's closet to hide in. Enveloped in darkness, he allowed his walls to crumble and his tears to fall. This was the only place he let his guard down, as he couldn't let Odin or Thor think him weak.
He was pulled back to reality by a quiet voice. "Loki?" The dejected god lifted his eyes slightly, barely moving his head. Mobius stood over him, concern etched on his face. He crouched down beside the ravenette, easing himself into a sitting position. Loki unconsciously slid over slightly, putting space between him and his friend.
"Loki, what happened in there? I've never seen you lose it like that."
"You saw what happened, Mobius. I revealed my true nature. I'm a villain. A murderer," he responded emotionlessly, but continued to look at the ground.
"Now, I think we both know that's not who you-"
"ISN'T IT?" Loki hissed, whipping his head around, a look of both fear and anger in his eyes. "After all, it's what I've been told my entire life . Even by the people who were supposed to care about me." He dropped his eyes again. When he spoke again, he was so quiet that Mobius almost had to strain to hear him. "You said it best, Mobius. I was born to cause pain and suffering and death. That's how it is, that's how it was, that's how it will be. No matter what I do to try and change that, I just make things worse . Your job, your life would be so much easier if I weren't in it." He leaned his head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling, the tears he'd been hoping to hold back escaping and sliding down his face.
"Loki…" Mobius began cautiously. "When I said that, I didn't know you. I knew about you, what you were 'supposed' to do, what every Loki variant we've found was like. And I said some really harsh things to you then. But I would take them all back if I could." The god looked up in surprise. "Loki, you're far more than just the god of mischief. And you're definitely not a villain. Do you know what I see when I look at you? I see the man that fought alongside his brother to protect his home. The man that gave his life to save the person that mattered most to him. I see someone who cares deeply for his friends and his family, and does everything to protect them." Mobius paused, and began smiling. "And I see a friend. Probably the best friend I've ever had, actually." Loki sniffled, giving him a watery smile.
"X-5 doesn't know you like I do. Reading your file doesn't mean shit. I learned that when I truly got to know you. His goal was to get under your skin by any means necessary. But I need you to know that what he said isn't true, Loki. The world is a better place with you in it. And my life is a hell of a lot more interesting thanks to you. So please, put away the dagger, and give your friend a hug." Mobius stood, extending his hand to his friend, who accepted it.
"Thank you Mobius," Loki smiled. "I don't think I realized how much I needed to hear that." He stepped forward and hugged Mobius tightly, as if he thought his friend would slip from his arms somehow.
"I think your mother would be proud of who you are, Loki. She's probably watching from Valhalla and smiling down on you," Mobius whispered. "Now, why don't we get some pie?"
