Change The Fate: The Fallen Angel Arise
By TheUndefeatable
Disclaimer: (noun) a denial or disavowal of legal claim:relinquishment of or formal refusal to accept an interest or estate.
Rate: Rated T just to be safe
Summary: There is always a light in the middle of darkness, you just must be brave enough to see it and to embrace it! Then, you will see that you don't need to take the burden all by yourself; you see that you are not alone. A sequel to 'Face The World Alone: Tale Of A Fallen Angel'
Warning: Mention of child abuse and attempted suicide, some violence and bloodshed in later chapters, but not any thing explicit! Don't like it, don't read it!
A/N: Okay, so I got to finish this chapter before Christmas! Yay! I would like to thank everyone who read, commented, and left kudos! You are great! And your support means a lot to me! It is one of the reasons that I finished this chapter earlier than I thought!
Next chapter is probably going to be some time in April. I am aiming to have an update in February, but I am not hopeful. I am going to have a hectic few months ahead of me, so wish me luck!
Happy holidays everyone!
Chapter 18: Reunion: Take Two...Action!
Severus put the last book in his trunk and sat back. He was almost ready to return to his dorm in the dungeons. He got his schedule and the Slytherin common rooms' password from Slughorn and he had almost all the stuff he needed in his trunk. Yesterday, the ministry officials came and cast the monitoring spells: One for his location which would raise alarms if he exits the castle grounds – in such a case Dumbledore and the ministry official who cast the spell would be notified of his whereabouts. The other spell was for his magic and health which would raise alarm if either he was hurt – in case he hurt himself – or he hurt others. Again, in such case, Dumbledore and the ministry employee would be notified about the details and his whereabouts.
The procedure went smoothly and very quickly. A nondescript event, despite all the significance it had for Severus. Severus looked at his wrist where two thin bracelet sat innocently; The symbol of his restrictions; that he was being monitored. He knew that he shouldn't complain. For it could have been worse; much worse. Especially because no one could see the bracelets; no one except the ministry employee, Dumbledore, Pomfrey, and Severus, himself. And they weighted nothing. If Severus covered them with his sleeve, then he could almost forget they were even there; almost. Because the thought was always at the back of his mind: that he and his magic were being monitored by a ministry employee that he didn't even know and by Dumbledore which he didn't trust.
That was also why he was packing his stuff and getting ready to move to his dorm. Being surrounded by his housemates, he would need to use all his focus on not slipping up and won't get the chance to think about things he could do nothing about.
Another example of such things – which Severus was trying to not think about, because he didn't what to think – was Lily. Dumbledore informed him that she was coming to visit him tomorrow and Severus didn't know what to make of it. Did Dumbledore put her up to it, again? Why would he? Was she coming, out of her own accord? Why should she? What made her decide to visit Severus again? After more than three weeks. Severus didn't know what to think. He even didn't know whether to be angry at Dumbledore for arranging the visit without asking him, or grateful that he didn't ask. What would he have said if he was asked? Would he have eagerly agreed? Would he have refused to meet her? He didn't know. He didn't know what he would have done or even wanted.
Sighing, he got up from his place on the carpet and made his way out of his room and toward the headmaster office. As much as it galled him, he had to talk with Dumbledore about moving to dorms, and take his permission, both as his guardian and his headmaster. He opened the door and entered. Dumbledore was standing in front of one of his cabinets, wand in hand and a silvery thread hanging from his wand. He cleared his throat to get Dumbledore's attention. Seeing Severus, Dumbledore dropped the thread into what Severus now could see was a basin and closed the cabinet's door. "Come, Severus. Sit. Tell me what brought you here?"
"What is that?" Severus motioned to the cabinet instead, his curiosity taking better of him. Glancing at the object of interest, Dumbledore answered. "It is a pensive. A rare object which allows a person to view memories."
"Memories? The silvery thread?" Severus made a guess.
"Yes, using a wand, one can extract memories and then put them in the pensive. Then by putting your face in the pensive, you can view them."
"How can you extract memories? Is it of a type of magical spells which affects the mind?"
"No, it is a simple form of magic which does not affect the mind in anyway. It only extract a copy of the memories which the owner of the memory is focused on. If you want, I can teach you later how to do it, for now let's talk about what brought you here, because I doubt it is about how to extract memories or use pensive."
Sitting down, Severus said. "Since I will start attending classes from next Monday, I was thinking it would be better if I moved to the dormitory today or tomorrow, so that I can settle in over the weekend."
Dumbledore hummed. He had a pensive look on his face for a few moments, before he cleared his throat, leaned forward in his seat and said. "Well, I have come to know that you and your housemates do not get along very well, and I have reasons to believe that now that you are my ward, it would become much worse."
"What reasons?" Severus asked, not understanding what Dumbledore was trying to say.
"Let's just say that I have information indicating such a thing can happen."
"And this information tells you what my housemates are going to do?" Severus wasn't sure if Dumbledore was just making something up or if such a information really exist. After all, it wasn't such a impossible thing for his housemates to plan something nasty – wouldn't be the first time – and Severus needed to know exactly what this information entailed – 'if it even was a real thing' a voice said in his mind – so that he can plan accordingly.
"I don't think I need to explain it to you, as you know it well. We both know your housemates don't take kindly to having a half-blood among them and what they do to show their displeasure. Being a half-blood with connections to me will make things worse."
'If you know they don't take well to a half-blood, then where were you these last five years?' Severus thought bitterly, but he didn't let any of it show as he tried word it differently. "It is not like I just became a half-blood recently. From my first year, I was a half-blood in Slytherin. So, that is nothing new….And being connected to you, I can handle it just fine. The Slytherins are not stupid, they would not make a move that can be traced back to them. Also, I am not the only half-blood in Slytherin. There are other half-bloods and even muggleborns in Slytherin. So my housemates, as you put it, shouldn't take kindly to at least one fifth of Slytherin house. And yet, I don't see you trying to protect them. Not that any one there actually needs your protection." Severus added the last sentence to cover his almost slip up about his situation in Slytherin, but it seemed that Dumbledore didn't even hear it, as his next words were:
"There are muggleborns in Slytherin?"
Severus rolled his eyes and said. "Of course, there are. What did you think? That there was a entry condition into Slytherin: 'needs to be a pure-blood or half-blood' and the hat checks it at sorting?" The words slipped out before Severus could even consider who he was speaking to, but it seems he was in luck and Dumbledore didn't hear his sarcastic comment, as well – if a lack of reaction was any indication.
There were a few moments of silence, before Dumbledore shook his head slightly and said. "In any case, I believe your situation is different from the others, as I believe that your life might be in danger. And, as your guardian I think that you shouldn't have to deal with something like this on your own. As a matter of fact, I do not want you to burden yourself with something like that. That is why I was thinking that maybe we should consider a re-sorting for you."
"What?" Severus asked, not comprehending.
"I think we should sort you, again." Dumbledore repeated.
"What made you think that the hat will sort me into another house?"
"After getting to know you better this past month, I have a feeling that the result of the sorting would be different. I always did wonder that maybe we sort too early."
His temper rising, Severus said. "So, what? Since you think I am not evil anymore, then I cannot be a Slytherin? And what about others? Those muggleborns and half-bloods… are they evil? Or maybe now that you know about them, you are going to re-sort all of them?"
"It has nothing to do with being evil, my boy, just showing traits of a house. And as for other half-bloods and muggleborns, as I mentioned, your case is different. However, if you believe completely that you will be again sorted into Slytherin, then you should not have anything against trying it, mmm?"
"The very idea is ludicrous! And I refuse to do it!"
"And as I mentioned, I cannot let you risk your life by returning to Slytherin dormitory." Dumbledore said firmly. There was a few moments of silence where Severus glared at Dumbledore and Dumbledore looked back calmly; both refusing to back down.
Then Dumbledore sighed and said. "If it is so important for you to stay in Slytherin, then I will accept, but you also need to make a compromise and allow me to ensure your safety."
"How?"
"Well, for starter, I think it would be better if you stayed here instead of in the dormitories. You can have classes, your meals, and free periods with your housemates and return to your room before curfew."
It was ridiculous. Severus wanted to rage and refuse, but by the end of it, legally, Dumbledore was his guardian and he, Severus, was an insane suicide teenager with only Dumbledore between him and a mental asylum. He entertained the idea of asking McGonagall, Pomfrey, or Madam Bones to interfere, but since Dumbledore was giving Severus' safety as his reason for doing this, there was a high chance that they would agree with Dumbledore. On the small chance that they sided with Severus over Dumbledore, and could even win against Dumbledore, did Severus want to use such a trump card on something like this? He has already forced Dumbledore to make this compromise rather than another sorting, so maybe it would be better to count his blessings and concede on this matter. There was something that niggled at him about Dumbledore's compromise, but for the life of him, he couldn't say what it was. So with no more argument, he decided to acquiesce to Dumbledore's request.
Walking dejectedly back to his room and entering, Severus' eye fell on the navy carpet in front of the fireplace and suddenly it clicked in his mind what has been bothering him about Dumbledore's compromise.
"Maybe you can consider getting a warm carpet – the tower floor can become very cold during the winter. The tower is much colder and dryer than Slytherin dormitory."
There was no compromise. Dumbledore must have known that Severus would not accept a re-sorting, so he had came up with this plan in order to keep Severus here and keep an eye on him. Maybe re-sorting was just an excuse – it was probably even against the rules to sort students again. It was all a ruse to make Severus agree to stay in his rooms and Severus, fool that he was, fell for it.
Severus wanted to rage, to scream, to set the blasted carpet and everything on fire; instead he took a deep breath, then took a sock out of his drawer and transfigured it into a doll with beard and ridiculously bright cloth. Then he threw the doll into the lit fireplace, sat in front of the fireplace, and watched it burn. He found the experience very therapeutic. Then Severus sat and plotted.
~~oOo~~
Thursday turned into Friday in a blink of an eye. Severus struggled to concentrate during his lessons on Friday morning. His mind kept going to all he wanted to tell Lily. He had decided to apologize to her – for his behavior last time she visited him, and see if there was any chance they could be friends again. Because in the end his love for her won over everything else.
Friday evening couldn't come sooner. Severus had decided to meet with her in the living area rather than his room, so when his clock showed 3 o'clock, he took his potion textbook and sat on the couch in front fireplace in the living room. He kept staring at the text in front of him, without seeing anything. Since yesterday, he kept thinking about the implications of staying in his rooms rather than the dorm. This morning, during his meeting with McGonagall, he told her about Dumbledore's idea of re-sorting and their argument. McGonagall was exasperated with Dumbledore's decision and said that she will talk to him. However, she also said that with the way Dumbledore had presented his argument – that it is because of Severus' safety – she didn't think there would be any chance of changing his mind – She also admitted that while she didn't agree with Dumbledore's approach, she was also concerned about Severus' situation in Slytherin dormitory and she felt better at knowing that he was safe.
Severus could understand her point – and he himself was a little relieved about not having to erect wards around his stuff and bed every day, so that no one would mess with them. However, Severus' main concern, which was something he couldn't tell her – or anyone – was how his living arrangements were going to affect his relation with his housemates. He had thought long and hard about how to handle everything, and now just as he thought he had everything under control – that he knew exactly what to say to his housemates – Dumbledore pulled the rug from right under him. Because now, he was going to have a harder time convincing his housemates that he was useful and loyal to the cause.
On one hand, if his housemates get the impression that he had sided with Dumbledore or that he had agreed to stay in his room to get away from them, then they would never trust him or believe that he genuinely wanted to join their side. On the other hand, if they thought that he had no choice and Dumbledore forced him against his will, then they would think him to be under Dumbledore's thumb and thus they won't consider him useful anymore. Slytherins were not easily fooled, so Severus needed to find a plausible explanation that would balance these two sides.
Severus didn't know how long he was lost in his thoughts, but the sound of the door of the quarters opening, brought him out of his thoughts. Looking up, he saw Lily closing the door behind her, before making her way toward Severus' room, not having noticed him. He cleared his throat which made Lily swirl around.
"Oh, you are here. Hi!" Lily said with a smile.
"Hi….how are you?" Severus asked unsure.
"Oh, thank god. I thought you are going to ask why I am here!" Lily said with exaggerated relief, not being able to stop herself.
"That was my next question." Severus shot back with a straight face, though Lily could see his shoulders relaxing a little. It was easy to fall back on their banter.
"Well….we need to talk." Lily said her face turning serious.
"Did Dumbledore put you up to do this?"
"No, and no, he did not make me come last time, either. As I said, I have come because we need to talk." She sat down on the other side of the couch.
Severus mulled over his words for a few moments. "I also wanted to say something, as well, but you first."
"I thought about what you said last time and I believe I owe you an apology and an explanation." Severus opened his mouth to object to her need to apologize, but Lily beat him to it. "Just let me say my part. I have been practicing what to say – to not mess things up – so let me just go first, before I forget what I wanted to say."
Severus' eye brow raised at the 'practice' part, but he stayed silent and nodded for her to continue.
"Okay, first of all, I'm sorry for my behavior last year and for ending our friendship. After our talk last time, I realized that I made a lot of decisions based on some assumption I had about you, without even trying to find out whether they were true or not. And it turned out that….a lot of them were actually false. When you started hanging out with you Slytherin housemates in second year, I was worried that you would end our friendship, since you found other friends."
Severus eyes widened in surprise and he opened his mouth to comment, but one look from Lily and he closed them again. Lily continued. "But I put it aside as I saw that you still met with me for study and in your free periods. But when you started behaving like them and called all muggleborns, mudblood, my worries returned stronger than before. By the end of fourth year, I was sure that you are ashamed to be friends with me. That was why you didn't want your housemates to see us together and insisted that we meet in secret ad outside of others' view. My friends told me that you were only pretending to be friends with me, because you wanted to lure me somewhere and hurt me and told me again and again to not show up for our meeting. I ignored them because I knew that was not true, but I thought the reason you are behaving that way was because you were ashamed and didn't want to be friends with me anymore, but you didn't said anything because you didn't want to hurt me." She sighed and closed her eyes, as she said the next words. "Because you didn't have the guts to look me in the eyes and end it."
She opened her eyes, but looked at the fire instead of at Severus. "So, I decided to do it, to end it for you. But I kept pushing it back, because I couldn't do it… it hurt so badly. And what made it worse was the fact that I thought you were all fine, and there I was crumbling from our ruined friendship. At the start of fifth year, I promised myself that I will end it, little by little. Kill that part of myself that cared for you; that wanted to have you in my life. So, I tried to distance myself from you. I made excuses to meet with you less and less and tried to fill your absence in my heart and in my life with other things: My Gryffindor friends, my studies, my perfect duties, tutoring younger students….And still it hurt. It hurt every time that I made an excuse to cut our time short. It hurt when you accepted my excuses without any argument; without any complaints….as if you didn't care. I convinced myself that the reason you didn't say anything was because you didn't care any more and I was just saving myself from being hurt; from being left behind. By the time you called me a mudblood, I was ready to end it all." She sighed and looked Severus in the eyes.
"And it turned out all these assumption were wrong and I ended up hurting both of us….I remember how easy things were before Hogwarts. We were really close, telling each other everything – well, not everything it turned out." She gave a look and Severus looked away, not being able to hold Lily's gaze, any more. "But I always thought we understand each other then, but when we started Hogwarts, I started to realize that I do not understand you. Our way of thinking, our viewpoint is so different. I don't know when things started to go wrong, but looking back, I am not surprised it did." She took a deep breath and continued. "I don't know if anything of our friendship can be salvaged, but I know that I don't want to do it. This friendship had turned into something so rotten that I don't even want to touch it."
Severus' heart sank. Lily had came to end things cleanly; to tell Severus that there was no chance for them anymore. That she didn't want there to be any chance. As if reading his mind, Lily said. "But I didn't come to say that, we ll not just that….After you were moved here, I went to Hospital Wing to see you, but the bed was empty. Not knowing the truth, I thought that they had moved you because you had died. I felt my world has turned upside down and I felt such a pain in my heart that I didn't know was possible to feel. I realized that despite all my work, I still cared for you greatly and I regretted that I did not accept your apology. I wished to have a second chance. When I found out you are alive, it was like my wish had came true. That was why I came to see you."
"Sorry for ruining that." Severus muttered, but Lily shook her head.
"No, thank you for that, because if you didn't say what you did, I would not have come to understand a lot of things. What I came to say today is that I don't want to continue our previous friendship, but I am not ready to give up on us, either. I want to start a new friendship. Severus, you and I are very different…too different. That means that if we want this friendship to work, we need to work doubly hard. We do not understand each other's viewpoints naturally. So we need to work for it: we need to talk and we need to listen, actually listen, and try to see things from the other's point of view….and...and to have some faith and trust in each other. I have thought long and hard on this and I am ready to do this….are you?"
She thrust out her hand for a handshake, after a moment she lowered her hand a little and added. "When we go out there, my Gryffindor friends are going to be there, your housemates are going to be there, everything probably will be same. I cannot promise you that what my friends tell me won't affect me, that I will not get frustrated from the pressure, that we are not going to argue about the behavior of your housemates. But I promise this: that I will listen to your side and try my best to understand your side. But that will only work if you meet me halfway….if you help me understand…if you open up to me and talk to me. So what do you say? Do you want to be friends with me?"
Severus was speechless. Here he was, thinking about apologizing – and even begging Lily if it came to that – in hopes of getting their friendship back and here she was, offering something far better: A new chance at a new friendship, a promise to listen – something that no one except his mother has done for him – a promise to try to understand. He didn't think it would be possible for him to love her more, but in that moment his love for her swelled. He wanted to say 'hell, yeah!', but instead what came out of his stupid mouth was:
"You sound so wise and mature."
Lily chuckled and ran a hand through her hair. "Well, I hope so, because I did a lot of thinking and of course I had help, but honestly I probably spent more time thinking….introspection….in the last three weeks than I did my whole life….put together! Well maybe that is an exaggeration, but you know what I mean. So do you want to renew our friendship?"
Severus looked into her beautiful eyes and said quietly. "You shouldn't have ever doubted it."
Lily moved closer on the couch and took his hand in hers as she said with a sad smile. "No, I shouldn't have."
Severus squeezed her hands to say it was okay. Taking that as her cue, Lily said. "So it is time for you to keep up your end of bargain." seeing Severus' confused expression, she clarified. "Talking, of course. It is your turn to talk."
"What should I say?"
"Well, mmm….you can start by saying that last year when I made excuses to not meet you, why you didn't speak up?"
Severus froze. It was one thing to say he wanted to be friends with her and would do anything to have it. It was another thing to talk about his weaknesses; to Lily no less! Lily looked into his eyes and said. "Severus, please! I want to understand, but you need to help me. Talk to me."
And here he was, facing one of his biggest weaknesses: he could never deny Lily anything when she looked at him like that. But he also couldn't look into her eyes and admit his weakness, so he looked down, at her hand holding his, and started to talk.
"I….I was…." he took a deep breath and plunged. "I was afraid. You always seemed so comfortable and happy when you were with Gryffindors….and last year….last year, it seemed like we were always fighting. I was afraid….that if I pushed you, if I demanded more of your time, you would end our friendship."
There was a few moments of silence, before Lily said. "I want to complain, to be angry that you thought me to be like that, but I can't….because in the end, I did do that."
"It was my fault, I called you an unforgivable word."
"Maybe, but that is not the point. The point is that your worries were not baseless and that is exactly the problem. I did end our friendship, partially because it was easier to destroy it than try to fix it." she exhaled loudly and said. "anyway….next question: do you care for blood purity?" At Severus' look she continued. "Then why do you call other muggleborns, mudblood?"
"Stop saying that word!" Seeing the look on Lily's face, he sighed. "It is hard to explain. Things in Slytherin work differently than Gryffindor."
"Like half-bloods and muggleborns either keep to shadows or try to fit in by playing by the pure-bloods' rules." At Severus' surprised look. "I told you I did a lot of thinking, but I also had help. Someone helped me understand a little how things might have been for you. I still need to hear your side, because knowing how things in Slytherin works is completely different from knowing what you have experienced." Seeing Severus expression at 'hear your side', she amended. "We don't have to do it all right now, but I need to hear it all eventually."
It was difficult for her. She wanted to know everything, so that they wouldn't make the same mistakes again. But, she could see how Severus was struggling with opening up. 'be patient' her mind cautioned. 'what matter is that Severus is trying to open up, but you need to give him time' the part of her mind who sounded like Helga said. However, it was easier said than done. After all, being patient was never her forte.
Relief was clear on Severus' face and Lily congratulated herself for making the right decision in not pushing him. Trying to lighten the mood, Lily changed the subject. "So headmaster said that you are catching up with your coursework, any idea when you can return to the class?"
"Yes, I will start from next Monday."
"Wow, really? That's great! So when are you going back to Slytherin dormitory?"
"I am not." Severus said sullenly.
"What? Why?"
In response, Severus told her about his argument with Dumbledore, his anger, fresh from yesterday, made is much easier to form words than before. When he was done with his rant, Lily said with a small smile.
"I would liked it if you were re-sorted into Gryffindor." At Severus glare, she clarified. "I am not saying that it would have been a good idea to re-sort you! I am just saying that I would have liked it, because it would have meant that we could sit in the common room until late and talk, instead of having to stop before curfew. But I know that it would have been awful for you, especially because you had to share a dorm with Ja-Potter and his friends. Also, you would have to share the common room with my housemates who wouldn't have taken it well that a Slytherin has been put there. Probably they all treated you like trash because they would have considered it as an invasion by an enemy's spy." she said with a grimace. "I think even the red and gold interior design would have been too cheerful for your grumpiness." She tried to lighten the mood. Then she sighed and said. "Honestly, I don't know what Dumbledore was thinking. What did he think would happen if a Slytherin was suddenly re-sorted into another house in their sixth year? How did he think that would go with the students in that house? Did he think that they would greet you warmly and made sure you know how their house operated? No, it would have been a disaster! You situation would have been probably a lot worse than in Slytherin – well, maybe your situation in Hufflepuffs would have better, but I never imagined you as a Hufflepuff….but honestly, I think you would be safer in Slytherin than any other house."
"Did you just something positive about Slytherins?"
"Well, everyone says Slytherins are awful people – some even say they are evil – all because of their prejudice against muggleborns. They are disliked for judging and discriminating people based on their bloodline – something that is our of their control. So, by the same argument, it would be wrong to judge and discriminate people based on the house they were sorted into; to put all Slytherins in the same category. I don't promise to be open minded about everything, I have been told prejudice is a hard thing to shake, but at least for your sake, I want to give the Slytherins a chance. Well,...just some of them, because I don't think I can tolerate the likes of Mulciber, even for your sake."
Severus couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was like he had stepped into another reality. "Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?" Severus said with mock suspicion.
"She is right here, she just realized she had not been acting like a best friend and that it was high time that she do it correctly."
Not knowing how to respond to such a answer, Severus said. "Thank you. I really appreciate it. Everything. And I promise you I will do my best, as well. But….I really cannot believe that you have changed so much in three week."
"Well, its sparks started more than three weeks ago, but I told you, in these three weeks, I introspected like there was no tomorrow. Also, someone helped me greatly in seeing things from another angle and understand a lot of things."
"Who?"
"That….is a surprise. In the first chance we get, I want to introduce her to you."
"I would like to meet someone that has changed your view so much."
"I think you would like her. She is really nice and wise."
After that, they made some small talk about the subjects they are taking, how hard or easy they were, what grade they got for a hard homework on potions, and then compared how they approached the question and what their idea was. It was familiar ground and something that they both missed doing. It was in the middle of their discussion that they heard a pop sound and noticed that the table in the dining area is full of plates of food for a dinner for two. They moved to the table and started to eat.
"You know it is convenient to stay in your rooms rather than dorms: You have your personal space, have the bathroom all to yourself, and can even ask the house-elves to serve your food here."
"Well, technically, after I return to class, I am not allowed to call Tipsy for food and should eat in the Great Hall like other students, or go to kitchens."
"mmm...but even in that case, it is still better than sharing dorm. Just imagine...you don't have to cast silencing spell all the time because the people in your dorm snore! But if you are going to stay here….I think you should get something for your room….it is too bare."
"Dumbledore and I went shopping a few days ago and got some stuff."
Lily's eyes lit up. "Can I see you room? I want to see what it looks like now!"
Severus shrugged. "Okay."
They talked a little more as they ate and when they were finished, they went to Severus' room. As they entered, Severus made his way toward his nightstand and took his potions, while Lily looked around at the furniture and decoration."
"I like what you have done to the place. This style of white-navy looks great with stone walls and dark wood of furniture. And I like how you decorated. It looks comfortable….inviting, and at the same time very practical. I didn't know you had such a talent for interior design. If you didn't like a career in potion, you can pursue one in interior design."
"Ha ha ha" Severus said sullenly.
"I am serious! Can't you even accept a compliment from me?" Lily said incensed.
Severus who regretted his reaction, tried to make amend. "Sorry. And anyway, it may not come to that. Remind me to tell you later about my talk with Dumbledore about my career. For now come here." He said as he stood beside his walk-in closet.
Lily came and looked questioningly at him. "Open it." He motioned toward it.
"You want me to look inside your wardrobe?!" Lily said with doubt.
"Go ahead. Look."
Lily still looked like Severus has lost his mind, but complied. She slowly opened the closet and looked inside. The next moment her eyes widened and she stepped inside. "No way! It is a walk-in closet! You have a walk-in closet?!" She said excitedly as she came out and looked at the outside of the closet. "From outside it looks normal. It is even the same size as my wardrobe back home!" She stepped inside again and started to look at the space inside, all the shelves and drawers.
Severus tried to hid his smile. Lily's excitement was always contagious, but in this case, Severus knew exactly how she felt – he may or may not have had a similar reaction, of course, with more dignity and self-control – when his closet were delivered and he stepped inside it for the first time.
A few minutes later, Lily poked her head out of the closet and said. "Did I tell you how much I love magic? It is just so efficient. If you wanted to have a walk-in closet in the muggle world, you had to give up a lot of space of the room to built one, but here? It takes the same space as a small wardrobe." she stepped out and sat down on the chase with sigh of contentment. After a few moments, her expression turned sad. "You know despite being here for five years, sometimes I still cannot believe it. It is just like another world. One that I don't know exactly how to navigate and how to live in it. And there are so many people saying I don't belong here, and sometimes….sometimes I believe them. But I cannot return to muggle world, either. You know, Tuney is starting college. I don't even have a school diploma. What I can do there? Sometimes I feel like I am stuck between two worlds, belonging to neither." Then she looked up at Severus and shook her head. "Sorry, I don't know where that came from."
"No, don't apologize. We promised to talk and this is exactly it." Then he sat down beside Lily and after a moment of hesitation took her hand in his. "You belong to both worlds and it does not matter whether it is a healer certification or a school diploma, if you put your mind to it, you will achieve it. You can do anything you want. You are brilliant like that. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, whether it is Tuney or my housemates."
Lily expression brightened. This...this was exactly what had been missing from her life: her best friend, Severus. She scrunched her face and pinched Severus' cheek lightly. "And you are sweet. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise….including yourself."
Severus mock frowned and pushed her hand away, but his twitched up lips and blushing cheeks gave him away – though he would deny that the later happened until his last breath.
~~oOo~~
Albus Dumbledore was responding to some ministry's letters, when Lily came out of the headmaster's quarters and with a 'good night' left the office. She and Severus were talking for a few hours and things seemed to be going well for them. One hour after Lily's arrival, Albus decided to check on them. After all, who knows what the reunion of two emotional teenagers may lead to. But when he opened the door to the quarters, he could hear them speaking in the living area, so he decided to leave them to it – he may or may not have listened to their conversation….a little….and no, he was not going to call it eavesdropping.
He was glad that things worked out well, since that meant that he had one less thing to worry about. If only making Severus change his mind about joining Tom was that easy. Things would have been much easier if Severus had consented to a re-sorting. Albus would have made sure that the hat would sort Severus elsewhere. He even had a list of sixth and seventh year students in each house that could befriends Severus. With a completely new environment, it would have been much easier to discourage Severus from pursuing this path he was taking. In any case, Severus did not consent. But it was okay, since Albus had predicted this result and had prepared for it. Now, with Severus being a Slytherin, it would be harder to surround him with the type of friends that Albus wanted. However, Albus was determined to save Severus – if not for Severus' sake, then for the sake of Wizarding world; because someone with Severus' talent and skill, and Severus' background could do a lot of damage on the wrong side of the war.
For now he would wait and watch how Slytherins would react to Severus' return and him being Albus' ward. Then, if necessary, he will take further actions. Yes, he will wait. After all, there was no reason to incense Minerva again so soon. Her words form that morning was still ringing in his ear:
"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, can you – for once in your life – take the direct approach to solve a problem rather than going behind everyone's back and manipulating them to do what you want?! Severus is not one of the politicians in the ministry, he is your ward!"
Yes, he will wait….for now.
