Chapter Thirty-Four

The flight home was agony for both Cas and Dean. The pressure in the cabin inflamed Cas's injury, and the turbulence froze Dean to his seat. Cas had to take a long rest when they finally got back, and squeezed uncomfortably into a cab.

Dean carried his bags for him, and helped him down onto the couch while everyone settled back into the house.

'Let me know when you're ready to go, honey,' Mary said to Cas. 'We gotta get a real cast on that leg.'

Cas nodded and rested for a few minutes more before he was ready.

'I'll drive,' Dean said, grabbing the keys to the Impala.

'You don't have to,' said Cas.

'Are you kidding? I haven't driven my car all weekend,' Dean grinned.

Cas rolled his eyes and smiled. 'We'd better go then.'

Dean relished being behind the wheel again, after he helped Cas prop up his leg in the back seat, but he resisted taking the scenic route and got Cas straight to the doctor.

Once the cast was on, Cas seemed a lot more comfortable, and fell asleep in the back of the car on the way home.

'He must not have slept very well,' said Mary, watching Cas through the rear view mirror.

'Can you blame him?'

Dean drove as smoothly as he could, letting Cas rest in the back seat for as long as possible.

Dean woke Cas early the next morning and helped him get dressed, easing a large sock over his cast so his toes wouldn't get cold. He bought Cas his favourite coffee on the way to school, and though Cas was suspicious about Dean's excitement, he said nothing. Dean hurriedly sent the track team captain a message that they were on their way, and continued on.

Dean was still not allowed inside the building, so he had to content himself with helping Cas out of the car and carrying his bag for him until they approached the entrance.

'What's wrong?' Dean asked, noticing Cas's low mood.

'I just don't want to go in without you,' he said.

Dean then noticed the front door open, and several people sticking their heads out to see if Cas was there yet.

'I think you might change your mind,' Dean grinned, nodding towards them.

As soon as they saw Cas, the track team, the swim team, and most of the cheerleaders, all poured out of the door. They were carrying balloons and shaking pom-poms, and they unfurled a banner that read 'WELCOME BACK, CAS!'

Cas's mouth dropped open and Dean put an arm around his shoulders.

'I think they're excited to see you,' said Dean.

Cas stood shocked for a moment.

'Here,' said Dean, holding Cas steady while he put his bag back on and readjusted his crutches. 'I'll pick you up later.'

Cas hobbled towards the entrance, cheered and embraced by everyone waiting for him. He looked over his shoulder as he approached the door, and gave Dean a small wave, before going inside with everyone else.

Dean turned back towards the car. One more day before his suspension was over, and he was dreading it.

He spent his last day out of school driving around town, blasting his music as loud as he could, and enjoying himself as much as possible. He had lunch alone in his favourite diner, ignoring the looks and giggles he was getting from some of the servers, and eventually went back to school to pick up Cas. He waited patiently right at the edge of the parking lot, until Cas came out accompanied by the track captain, who was carrying his bag.

When Cas reached Dean, he smiled widely, then kissed him while leaning on him for support.

'Good day, huh?' Dean said when he pulled away.

Cas nodded, still smiling.

'Here,' said the captain, handing Dean Cas's bag with a quick wink.

'Thanks,' Dean grinned, shouldering the bag. 'Ready?'

Cas hobbled to the car that Dean had thankfully parked close to the entrance.

'They threw me a party,' Cas told him, as they pulled out of the parking lot.

'Did you have fun?'

'It was nice. The music wasn't too loud.'

'Well that's good,' Dean said fondly. 'How's your leg?'

'It hurts,' Cas admitted. 'But it'll be better with rest, I think.'

Dean dragged his feet the rest of the evening, putting off the moment he would have to go to sleep and face returning to school. He felt Cas's eyes on him the whole time, and was not surprised when Cas awkwardly climbed into bed with him that night. Dean again tucked some cushions under Cas's leg and made sure he was comfortable before falling asleep, with his arm draped over Cas's chest.

Dean refused breakfast the next morning, his stomach already churning.

They drove in silence, until Dean pulled up to the parking lot and noticed that a space near the entrance had a reserved notice with Cas's name on it.

'That was nice of them,' Cas said.

Dean just nodded, and helped Cas out of the car, carrying his bag for him.

Dean walked through the entrance, his shoulders hunched, staring at his shoes with his hands buries deep in his pockets. He expected stares and whispers, people approaching him to ask what happened, but they didn't come. The further through the hallways he got, the more he relaxed, but it was a relief to arrive at homeroom.

His eyes briefly flicked up to Rhonda's empty seat at the back of the class, and he continued on to his usual seat. Jo was already sitting at her desk. Her suspension was also over, but she still had the ghost of a bruise on her cheek from when she'd fought with Rhonda.

'Hey,' she smiled.

Dean tensed, but she made no mention of the incident. Crowley and Kevin arrived; Crowley patted Dean's shoulder, and Kevin slumped at his desk, the dark circles around his eyes giving away how long he'd stayed up studying.

Everything seemed normal, until Dean went to his locker and found a leaflet inside, advertising a support group led by the guidance counselor. He froze, staring at him until Cas appeared at his shoulder.

'What's that?' he asked.

'Nothing,' Dean muttered, crumpling it up and shoving it into his pocket.

Tessa had tried to convince him to go to group sessions, but he hated the idea, not wishing to spill his guts to a room of strangers. The more he thought about it, however, the more he realised that everyone now already knew. Maybe a group wouldn't be so bad.

Lunch was different. They sat at their usual table, but they were now joined by several of the track team and some of the cheerleaders, all chatting brightly with each other and Cas. They tried to include Jo, Crowley and Kevin in their conversation, but none of them knew what to say. It was awkward, but Cas seemed to enjoy it, so Dean did his best to be welcoming and participate.

They had an exam that afternoon, but once it was over, Dean's thoughts turned back to the support group. It would be at lunch on the coming Thursday, and by the time he arrived home, he had decided that he would go.

Despite the apparent normalcy at school, Dean still felt out of sorts all week. He packed himself a lunch on Wednesday night, and Mary came to him in the kitchen, her hand on his back.

'You've been quiet,' she said. 'Something you want to talk about?'

Dean shrugged. 'Not really,' he said. 'Just been thinking a lot.'

Mary patted his back. 'You know where I am if you change your mind.'

Dean was restless and didn't get much sleep, nor did he feel up for more than a coffee for breakfast. He could tell that Cas was frustrated at not being able to hold his hand while reliant on his crutches, but Dean couldn't bring himself to touch Cas while the balled up leaflet was still stuffed in his jacket pocket.

At lunch, Dean walked with everyone to the cafeteria, but stopped at the door.

'You guys go ahead,' he mumbled. 'I gotta go do something.'

'I could go with you,' said Cas.

Dean looked into Cas's wide, empathetic eyes, and warmth spread in his chest. Of course Cas knew what was going on. Dean smiled for the first time since he saw the leaflet, and kissed Cas's cheek, careful not to knock him off balance.

'I'll be okay,' he said. 'Have some lunch. Rest that leg. I'll see you later.'

Cas reluctantly went into the cafeteria, and Dean made his way to the English classroom the group was being held in. Before going in, he pulled out the leaflet and smoothed it out with shaking hands. He cracked open the door and saw there were already a few other boys sitting in chairs arranged in a circle.

'This is where the group is?' he said, his voice annoyingly faint.

There were nods and some quiet noises of agreement, so Dean went inside and sat down on one of the empty seats. He laid the leaflet out on his leg and anxiously flattened it with his palm, over and over again while his other leg bounced up and down at full speed.

The room was uncomfortable, with all the boys avoiding each other's eyes, fidgeting in their seats.

After a long, excruciating silence, the guidance counselor finally arrived, and took a seat.

'Hello, everyone,' she said. 'You all know why we're here, I'm sure, and before we get started, I want you all to know that I'm proud of you for taking this step. I know it's hard.'

No one said anything.

'I want this to be a safe space, where you can all express your feelings. Nothing we say in here leaves this room, understood?'

Another round of nodding and small noises of agreement.

'There's lots of research to suggest that knowing you're not alone in how you feel can really help. Does anyone have anything they'd like to share?'

No one spoke up, each one of them glancing furtively around at the others and waiting for someone to go first.

Dean bit his lip, then opened his mouth, but someone else spoke first. It was a younger boy that Dean had never seen before. He was skinny, and looked as nervous as Dean felt.

'I - um - I didn't actually get what happened until we had that assembly a few months ago,' he said. 'That's normal, right? I mean, it didn't feel right, but I'm a guy, you know? I'm supposed to like that stuff. I just thought there was something wrong with me. That's what she said, anyway.'

'Who said that?' the guidance counselor asked.

The boy hesitated, twisting the fabric of his shirt in his hands.

'You don't have to say if you don't want to,' the counselor added.

The boy glanced at Dean. 'Rhonda said it,' he said, staring down at his lap. 'She's the one who…'

Dean's stomach lurched. 'How old are you?' he asked, his voice cracking slightly.

'Sixteen,' he said. 'But I was fifteen when- when it happened.'

Dean nodded. 'Me too.'

'Yeah, same here,' said another boy. He was a little older, but still not as old as Dean.

'And me.'

All three of the other boys that had been assaulted by Rhonda were all sitting in front of Dean. All of them younger than him. He couldn't know for sure, but he had a terrible feeling that he'd been Rhonda's first. He didn't speak much for the rest of the sessions, nor did he touch his lunch. He'd lost his appetite. The sick feeling spreading throughout his body told him that if only he'd said something when it happened, then maybe she wouldn't have done it to these other boys.

Dean tracked Cas down in the halls while everyone was making their way to class, following the clacking sound of his crutches. Dean hugged him so forcefully, he was lifted clean off the ground.

'I missed you,' Dean said into Cas's shoulder, gently lowering him back to the ground.

'I missed you too,' Cas said gently, patting his back. 'Are you all right?'

'I am now,' Dean smiled, wishing he could hold Cas's hand.

Dean thought about the group all afternoon, and all the way home. He couldn't shake the guilty pit in his stomach.

Mary was in the living room when they got home, so Dean went straight to her.

'Can I talk to you?' he asked.

'Of course you can, honey,' she smiled, then noticed the serious expression on his face. She beckoned him into the kitchen and shut the door. 'What's up?'

'I - um - I went to a support group today.'

'Really? You did?'

'Yeah… Turns out I wasn't the only one Rhonda went after.'

Mary wrinkled her nose, disgusted by the thought of her.

'I think - I think I wanna go to the cops,' he told her, his heart racing.

'Dean…'

'I know, I know, there's no proof, and probably nothing will happen, I just want there to be some kind of record. I thought it was just me, but it wasn't, and she's gone to another school now, but I don't think that will stop her. I think that if there's already a statement about it her, then maybe someone else will have a better chance of making something stick. I mean, I hope there's no one else, but…'

Mary cupped his cheek. 'Are you sure about this?'

Dean shrugged. 'There's nothing to hide anymore, everyone already knows what happened. And maybe I could help someone.'

'That's my brave Deano,' Mary said, beaming with pride.

Dean rolled his eyes, blushing slightly. 'Will you come with me?'

'Absolutely, I'm right wherever you need me.'

'But not yet. Not today. I want to finish my exams first.'

'You got it,' Mary said.

Dean took a deep breath and shook the nerves out of his hands. He felt good about his decision, but he pushed the thought aside, joining Cas on the couch, pulling him as close as Cas could manage with his cast. At last, Cas's hands were free, and they watched a movie together with their fingers entwined.


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