.
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 21
Earth
"This war has brought us pain, and suffering, and loss."
The room resounded with a silence that pressed in from all sides. The ground team was assembled shoulder to shoulder as they awaited Shepard's final words of encouragement like the words of a prophet.
"But it's also brought us together— as soldiers, allies, friends."
Garrus stood between Liara and Jane, their presence radiating waves of warmth and comfort in the cold, stale air of the ruined city around them. Ashley raised a hand to clasp Jane's shoulder, and Javik nodded in agreement. Kaidan turned to flash a smile at Tali, who bounced on the balls of her feet once or twice. EDI smiled warmly, and James crossed his arms with a sharp nod.
"This bond that ties us together is something the Reapers will never understand."
Shepard paced before them, his face soft but his words firm as he spoke with deep conviction.
"It's more powerful than any weapon," He looked up, his eyes flashing with an invigorating energy, "stronger than any ship. It can't be taken or destroyed."
He finally stopped pacing and came to stand before them, his expression hardening.
"The next few hours will decide the fate of everyone in the galaxy."
Shepard took one step toward them, then another, a thundercloud of emotion gathering behind his eyes.
"Every mother. Every son. Every unborn child."
He turned toward a nearby window and gazed out over the destruction.
"They're trusting you… depending on you to win them their future. A future free from the threat of the Reapers."
He turned to look back at them, his face set in the lines of hopeful determination.
"But take heart. Look around you. You're not in this fight alone. We face our enemy together, and together we will defeat them."
Shepard raised his fist, punching it firmly into his open palm. The ground team all broke into cheers as they thrust fists in the air and jostled each other good-naturedly.
"Come on, everyone. Let's head down and meet up with the rest of our battalion." Shepard said as he strode toward the door, and everyone followed suit. There was a lightness in their steps, a confidence that hadn't been there before. It was always that way with Shepard. He was a born leader, always inspiring those under him to greater heights.
"You ready?" Jane murmured as her shoulder brushed against Garrus' arm. He nodded, his mandibles flicking as he flashed her a tight smile. "This is it. No turning back. We fight or we die."
The no-man's-land that stretched out before them was a terrifying sight. Large swaths of empty, desolate land were broken up by occasional ruins of destroyed buildings, all crawling with Reaper forces.
Beyond that lay the beam. Their goal, their salvation. And before it stood the imposing form of a Reaper, its cannon exposed and ready to protect the beam at all costs.
Garrus adjusted his rifle, and followed after Shepard as they wove their way around a number of waiting M35 Makos. Shifting his grip, Garrus reached a hand up to pat a tire fondly. It'd been some time since he'd been up close and personal with a Mako, and it brought back flashes of memories from his months aboard the SR1.
Anderson gave the go ahead over the comm, and slowly the Makos began to roll forward. Shepard turned and nodded to his team, and they followed after. Garrus took a deep breath, steeling himself.
They could do this. They had to do this. There was no other option.
They pressed forward. Invigorating cheers from ground troops went up, but were short-lived as they were met with resistance. The sound gunfire cut through the night, sharp cracks to break the silence.
Each of the Reaper's awful, hellish creations came to meet them as they pressed forward. Husks clambered over debris, leaping at them with speeds that should have been impossible for their rotten bodies. Marauders and cannibals laid down cover fire, taking out Hammer's ground troops with disturbing efficiency. Brutes targeted the Makos and missile bearing tanks, smashing through their plating with unreal strength and ferocity. The haunting, terrifying screams of the banshees preceded their presence, sending chills down Garrus' spine as he focused his efforts on them.
The fighting continued to pick up in ferocity as they pressed forward. Shepard's team became a scalpel, used with ruthless efficiency. They fought their way through buildings, quickly taking out groups of Reaper forces that had entrenched themselves, allowing Hammer to pass further into heavily contested areas.
Sometimes they pushed forward beyond the Makos and tanks, clearing out ground forces and plotting out routes for the larger vehicles to follow. More than once, they had to double back to find paths wide and flat enough for the vehicles, but step by step, they progressed forward toward their goal.
But with each step, their numbers dwindled. Makos were crushed or destroyed by brutes or with heavy weaponry, and soldiers fell as enemies overran their teams. Garrus prayed that by the time they reached the beam, they would still have enough standing to have a chance of reaching it.
Shepard's team split into smaller groups as needed to handle the myriad of issues that arose as Hammer pushed forward. As he scrambled down the lip of a crater in the middle of a city block, Garrus hoped everyone was alright. It had been some time since he'd seen Tali or a few of the others. He swallowed a lump of anxiety. It'd been a while since he'd seen Jane, too. She'd taken a team and dashed into a nearby building to take out a group of marauders some time ago.
"The Destroyer's spotted us." A marine reported over the comm, his voice layered with forced calm and barely contained fear. "We're prepping the Thanix missiles."
"Hold your fire." One of the majors called out, "You won't do anything but piss it off."
"Roger that, but we may have no choice."
"Understood."
Garrus raised his rifle and took aim, catching a cannibal between its many eyes. Behind him, someone screamed in pain.
"Kaidan!" He spun to see the other man clutching his leg as he stumbled to the ground. Under his hand, Garrus could scorched armor and flowing blood. He lowered his rifle and ran back to assist, pulling up his omni-tool with medigel at the ready. "Shit, this looks bad."
"Yeah, thanks-" Kaidan hissed as he shifted, more blood gushing over the cracked plates of his hard suit. "I hadn't noticed." He continued dryly, finally sighing as the medigel began its work. After a moment, the blood seemed to slow, but as he helped Kaidan to his feet, he hissed in pain again as he tried to put weight on the injured leg. "Just leave me. You keep going."
Garrus looked down at the injury, then back over his shoulder at the beam as it reached up into the heavens above. He wavered for a moment, then nodded.
"Cortez, we need an evac. Sending you the coordinates now."
"Roger that, on my way." The pilot responded quickly, and Garrus helped Kaidan limp toward a pile of debris that looked like a reasonably safe cover spot.
"Stay safe until the shuttle gets here." Garrus grunted as he lowered the other man down to the ground.
"Thanks, Garrus. Good luck."
"Destroyer just took out half our company." Another marine reported morosely as Garrus turned back toward the beam and began clambering up the side of the crater, "Firing remaining missiles."
"Any effect?" Asked the same major from earlier. There was a pause before the marine replied.
"Negative."
"Shit." Garrus hissed as he hurried onward toward the sound of gunfire ahead. He could see a burst of biotic energy, and he prayed it was one of Shepard's shockwaves.
"Can't get a lock," the marine continued, "something's messing with our guidance."
"We're almost there. Hold on." The major said, his voice equal parts commanding and pleading.
Garrus crested a ridge and released a breath in relief as the forms of Shepard and EDI came into view. He pulled up his rifle and fired off a few rounds into a sprinting husk.
"Garrus! Good to see you. Any news from the others?" Shepard exclaimed as he thrust his arm forward, sending a wave of biotic energy that caught up another husk, flinging it backwards.
"Kaidan is injured, just called in an evac for him. I haven't seen any of the others in a while."
"Yeah, I heard your request for an evac. Cortez has Liara as well, and I believe Tali, Ashley, and Javik are just west of us."
"Any sign of Jane and James?" Garrus asked hesitantly, his body tensing as Shepard shook his head.
"I got a burst of garbled static from her about 15 minutes ago, but nothing since. I think something is blocking their comm."
"I have received occasional blips from their suit's systems, and they are on the move. I do not believe either are injured at the moment." EDI chimed in reassuringly, and Garrus nodded in thanks as various groups began radioing in. It was disturbing to hear how many companies hadn't reported in yet.
"Come on, we're getting closer. Let's keep moving." Shepard turned toward the beam, its light catching the clouds of dust around it, causing the sky to glow an eerie blue. Garrus and EDI followed after.
"How are we supposed to take that thing out?" Someone asked wearily, the comm connection weak and crackling. Somewhere ahead, there was a series of explosions as the Destroyer's cannon blared. Shepard turned and sprinted down an alley, picking up speed as urgency continued to build.
"Look out! Brutes!" EDI screamed just as a nearby wall exploded, pulverized concrete flying through the air as two monstrous beasts smashed into the alleyway before them. Shepard, EDI, and Garrus all backpedaled as fast as they could, bringing their weapons up.
"Get back!" A familiar voice called out suddenly, "And cover your eyes!" The three of them turned to run, both Shepard and Garrus bringing their arms up to cover their eyes. Even through his lids, Garrus registered the sudden burst of light of Jane's flash grenade. There were two bestial screams of pain. When he looked up again, Garrus saw Jane and James leap down from the low roof on one side of the alley.
"About time!" Shepard stated as they all opened fire on the brutes, sending fetid blood spraying into the air as the beasts stumbled backwards.
"Don't blame me, my comm can't seem to keep a stable connection. There's some sort of intermittent interference."
"You're not the only one. They're having issues getting a lock on the Destroyer. We need to get down there and assist as quickly as possible."
The last brute fell, and they all charged forward and around the corner.
"They're coming in behind us!" a marine radioed in, her voice tight and anxious.
"They're coming from everywhere!" another cried out urgently. "They're going for the tanks!"
"Shit." James' muttered curse echoed Garrus' exactly as they all pushed their bodies a little harder. A nearby explosion shook the air, debris flying as they all dove for cover. Garrus groaned as he rolled his shoulder, shaking off the dust and the painful fog of impact. It wasn't the first he'd endured that day, and he was positive it wouldn't be his last. Already, weariness was setting in, pure adrenaline carrying him onwards.
He pulled himself to his feet and raised his rifle. If they didn't press on, they would all die. The galaxy would all die. He had to keep moving.
"Protect the tanks at all costs!" the major exclaimed, his voice beginning to break up as the connection weakened."Without those missiles, we've got no chance!"
When they finally reached the missiles-laden tanks, a stab of fear shook Garrus as he registered their utter lack of protection. Not a single soldier from that company remained standing, and it was a miracle the missiles hadn't yet been targeted.
EDI began the process of syncing them up with the Normandy's guidance systems to bypass the interference as they fought off wave after wave of Reaper forces. They weren't strangers to battles of life or death, and Shepard's team was a well-oiled machine.
Muscle memory and desperation fueled them as they took out the deformed, putrid creatures that assaulted the tanks from all sides. When they were finally able to fire the first two missiles, they swerved at the last second, missing the Reaper guarding the beam by a large margin.
Garrus' heart sank and his body screamed as he watched them explode harmlessly some distance from their target. Somehow, they were going to have to wait until the Destroyer moved far enough from the beam for them to try again with the next set of missiles, and if those missed, too… well…
He wasn't going to think about it. He couldn't let himself.
Their second attempt, what felt like an eternity later, was more fruitful. It was with a relieved sigh, bordering on a sob, that Garrus watched the Destroyer finally collapse hard to the ground with an angry screech. A series of explosions wracked its body, and finally its only movements were twitches like the death throes of some enormous bug.
He moved through reality like a dream. His entire body seemed to float as he watched Anderson's tank approach, navigating slowly around the piles of concrete and the bodies of the dead. They had been on the move and fighting for hours at that point, and getting to sit and rest after piling into one of the tanks felt like a dream.
It didn't last long, though. As soon as Anderson announced that Harbinger and other Reapers were moving to defend the beam, Garrus felt a tightening in his chest. It felt like the end. They had been talking about this being it for a while now, ever since they began their trip toward Earth. And yet, it had all boiled down to this, their final push. If they could get someone through that beam and up onto the Citadel, they actually stood a chance at finishing this, once and for all.
They rode on in silence, no one daring to break the peace as the tank lumbered over the difficult terrain. As Garrus looked from person to person, they all seemed to radiate exhaustion. Even EDI seemed weary, though he couldn't put his finger on how.
As for himself, it felt as though standing again would be an impossibility when they reached their destination. Looking up toward the low ceiling of the tank, Garrus imagined he could see the Crucible, miles above the Earth as it approached the Citadel. Were his dad and Sol up there, somewhere? With Hackett's fleets as they protected the Crucible? Were they even still alive?
With a jolt, he realized that Shepard and Anderson were talking.
"We knew this was going to be a gamble at best." Anderson grunted as he leaned his forearms forward onto his knees, the concerned lines on his face seeming to deepen with each word. Shepard stood, holding on tightly as he looked from person to person with a soft smile, the first smile Garrus had seen from anyone in what felt like years.
"I'm so proud of you all. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather face this with."
A warmth spread through Garrus' body like basking in a ray of sunshine that had parted the stormy clouds of a cold winter day. He bathed in it as a shred of hope lodged itself deep in his heart. They all stood, reaching for handholds as they looked to Shepard, the source of their inspiration, their leader, their friend.
"I think I speak for everyone," Jane began, her voice gaining in assurance and strength as she continued, "when I say that it has been our honor to serve under you, Commander." With that, she stood straighter as she brought her free hand up in a salute. Both James and EDI followed suit, and Garrus raised his head in a sign of respect as well.
Something about Shepard's smile shifted, his eyes gaining a melancholic glint as he surveyed them all with a nod. "The honor has been mine."
Anderson lifted a hand to rest on his shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze before looking down at his omni-tool.
"Alright, everyone. This is it." The words were barely out of the admiral's mouth when the tank came to a sudden, screeching halt, an explosion nearly tipping it as they all struggled to keep their balance.
Garrus pitched forward as he tried to retain his handhold. Jane's arm came up, steadying him as he caught himself. The door popped open nearby, and he looked up to see Shepard and Anderson hurrying through it and out onto the battlefield.
"Shit." Anderson hissed as Garrus and the others followed. A series of curses emanated from the mouths around him, and though they were in a number of languages, none of them seemed to properly capture the horror that squeezed Garrus' lungs in a vice grip as he swallowed.
About 100 yards before them loomed the beam, disappearing up into the heavens above. Nothing but open desolation stood between it and them, and yet behind it stood the gut wrenchingly familiar form of a Soverign-class Reaper. The ground shook as it took a step closer, its attention focusing in on their convoy.
"We gotta move!" Anderson yelled as he brought his pistol up to the ready. Shepard nodded and gestured to the rest of them.
"Come on!" He yelled before pulling out his shotgun and taking off toward the beam without a second thought. Jane sprinted off after him, and Garrus felt his feet begin to move of their own accord.
"This is insanity!" He growled as he took off running, James and EDI close on his tail.
"Hammer squads, go, go, go!" Anderson yelled as the pounding of feet began to grow louder. Battle cries went up on all sides as every single survivor threw themselves toward the beam, their only salvation. As Garrus chanced glances over either shoulder, hope rose in him as he registered just how many were charging with him. Surely, someone would make it. Someone, anyone. There only needed to be one.
Garrus' feet moved faster, his body lighter as he pushed onward. He had just about caught up with Shepard and Jane when the Reaper opened fire.
The first beam cut through the earth, tearing up chunks of dirt and gravel just feet away from Shepard, causing him to stumble and catch himself. The sizzling heat of it burned Garrus' face, leaving a bright after image behind his lids.
More cannon bursts, more explosions. Men and women screamed as they were flung into the air, their broken bodies hitting the ground with a deafening finality. Others died instantly as the beams caught them headlong, their remains nothing more than ash in the wind.
A nearby Mako became little more than a chunk of twisted metal and burning bodies, and Garrus' fledgling hope cracked, crumbling into shards and dust. His feet continued onwards as he began to struggle, but pure stubbornness carried him onwards as he kept his focus on the two humans before them.
In no universe would Shepard and Jane face whatever awaited them on the Citadel without Garrus Vakarian at their side. Not if he had any say in the matter.
Jane dodged just in time as a beam smashed into the ground before her. Garrus' heart seized for a moment as she stumbled, but she caught herself and kept running. He saw a number of soldiers pushing faster, pulling ahead of them as they raced for the beam, stretched out in a wide arch around him. They can't stop us all. One of us will get through.
The Reaper's cannon echoed in Garrus' ears, his senses beginning to tunnel, his sole focus becoming the beam and the two humans just before him. They could do this, they were almost there, just a little bit furth-
The cannon caught the ground just before a nearby Mako as it sped forward, causing it to vault into the air. It twisted like a breeching whale, growing ever larger as it began its descent.
It all seemed to happen in slow motion as Garrus' eyes widened. A train wreck he could only watch in horror as he struggled to come to a stop in time.
"Garrus!"
The world erupted in pain, but as the welcoming embrace of darkness sucked him under, he registered a single bone curdling scream.
Garrus was being crushed under the weight of the entire world. He gripped fruitlessly at the fuzzy, comforting darkness as it began to fade only to be replaced with overwhelming pain. He heard the grunts of people straining, and slowly the pressure began to ease, and his senses started returning quickly. And with them, the horrid awareness of reality.
His eyes snapped open, and he registered the unexpected sky. It had been night, but there weren't any clouds or stars above him. With sudden realization, he recognized it as the topside of a Mako. Groaning, he shifted as recognized the sounds of people nearby as they worked to move the vehicle. Lifting a hand up, he froze. It was entirely coated in blood. But it wasn't his blue.
It was a bright, vivid red.
Panic began building as he twisted around, his eyes adjusting slowly as a nearby shape came into view. A scream bubbled up in his throat, but refused to leave his mouth.
"Jane…" The name finally escaped him in a groan as he took in her bloodied and battered face. She was drenched in blood, splatters of both red and blue, and she was utterly unresponsive. She had one arm draped over him as though to shield him, but he was unable to see the rest of her from where he lay.
"No-" Garrus choked out, his mouth dry as his heart began pounding out a dirge through his veins. "No, no, no, no…" He reached out hesitantly to touch her face, worried that if he did, she might shatter. As his finger stroked her cheek, it left behind a bloody red streak. Bile rose in his throat.
There was another heave, and the pressure lessened even more.
"Help!" He cried out, his voice breaking as he looked up, a flurry of panic gripping him as he reached his arm up to push fruitlessly on the Mako above him. "Someone, help! Hurry!"
"Garrus!" Shepard called out from somewhere nearby. "Are you okay? We'll get you out, don't worry!"
There was another heave, and the weight of the Mako was finally gone. Garrus' body shuddered in relief, but it went unnoticed as he shoved himself up and let his eyes fall upon Jane. He opened his mouth to call for help again, but his words had evaporated along with the thoughts in his head as shock set in. It was like watching their future together evaporate before his eyes, dreams that had been within the palm of his hand melting like they'd never been.
While a majority of Jane's injuries appeared superficial, his attention was drawn inextricably to her right arm. There was very little left to suggest it had ever been an arm, even the hard suit was cracked unrecognizable. Every moment Jane became paler, the growing pool of blood around her making his breath hitch as his heart pounded in his ears.
"Garrus!" Shepard called out, snapping him out of his horrified stupor. "Can you climb out? We can't hold this much longer!"
As carefully as he could, Garrus shifted and wrapped an arm around Jane, inching them both out from under the Mako. He wanted to move her as little as possible, he had no idea how extensive her injuries were. Or if she was even still-
He cut himself off. Jane was alive, and she would be okay. He couldn't live in a world where that wasn't true.
"I got her." James said as hands appeared and began hauling her out, her head lolling limply. Garrus scrambled out after her, his leg screaming as he put weight on it, old injuries coming back to haunt him.
"Oh, god!" Shepard exclaimed, and a moment later, the Mako crashed to the ground, and the commander fell to his knees beside his sister. His hands reached down reverently, stopping just shy of her bloodied, porcelain pale skin. He drew back sharply as he activated his comm and looked away. "Cortez! Do you copy? I need an evac. Right now!"
"I've got a lock on your coordinates. On my way, Commander!" The pilot replied immediately, his connection full of static.
Garrus struggled to his feet, but fell to his knees as he inched toward where Jane lay like a marionette with her strings cut. James knelt on her other side as he struggled to apply medigel, but his face was streaked with his own blood, his eyes glazed with an obvious concussion. EDI limped over, falling to her knees as her hip joint sparked ominously. The entirety of her right side was scratched up with more than one gash exposing the inner workings beneath her body's outer layer.
Outwardly, Garrus was aware of the battle raging on around him. The Reaper's cannon continued to blare, explosions rang out, and soldiers screamed as they died. The beam sat silently before them, so close and yet so far as not a single soul seemed capable of approaching. But he registered none of it as he stared in numb disbelief at the woman laying broken before him.
This couldn't be happening. They'd been so close, victory had been within their grasp. All they'd needed to do was to clasp their hands around it.
A groan bubbled up in the back of Jane's throat, and Garrus lurched closer as she shifted, pain etched across her face.
"Jane! Hold on, just hold on."
The air around them roared as the shuttle arrived, its door already open. It touched down, and Kaidan hobbled toward them, cursing as he laid eyes on Jane. He helped pull Garrus to his feet, and all together they carefully lifted Jane.
"Come on." Shepard murmured as they worked together to get her aboard.
"By the goddess!" Liara hissed as she joined them, her uninjured hand coming up to cover her gasp. They gently set Jane down and Liara set to work with Kaidan as they struggled to stem the bleeding.
"Here." Shepard gestured to a nearby seat, but Garrus turned to him with a glare.
"Shepard, I'm not leaving you."
"You have to get out of here." Shepard stated firmly as he took a step toward the door, the beam looming behind him.
"And you've gotta be kidding me." Garrus growled even as his leg threatened to give way under him. Shepard took another step backwards, his eyes narrowing with a glint of steel.
"Don't argue, Garrus."
"John!" They both turned in shock to look at where Jane lay, her eyes still shut but her good arm groping as though searching for her brother of its own accord.
"We're in this to the end." Garrus tried to insist as he looked back at Shepard, though he sounded more as though he were begging. He winced as he took a step and gripped a nearby handhold. Shepard's expression softened, though the steel remained in his eyes.
"Take care of Jane, make sure she lives. She needs you right now." They both looked back at Jane as she called out for her brother again, her voice cracking as she reached with what little strength she had left.
"Shepard…" Garrus wilted as he watched Liara root through the first aid box. She pulled out a vial and fumbled with the cap before jabbing Jane with the needle.
"And please," Shepard continued as Garrus looked back at him, "find Tali. Tell her… Tell her that I love her."
"I… I will."
Shepard smiled sadly as he started walking backwards. His eyes flicked to Jane's prone body before turning and running off toward the beam alone. The ground exploded nearby, causing him to dodge to the side, but he took off at full speed as the shuttle began to lift off the ground. Garrus got one last look at the beam and the Reaper looming just behind it before the door closed.
As Garrus turned back to face the bloody nightmare on the floor before him, he felt the shuttle picking up speed. He registered the mourning sub vocals reverberating in the small space, and after a moment he acknowledged them as his own.
Somehow, deep down in his gut, Garrus knew that was probably the last time he'd ever see Commander John Shepard.
"Garrus!" Liara snapped, and he came back to himself in an instant. "Get over here and apply pressure. We need to stop the bleeding." As he hurried over, he saw that Liara had wrapped Jane's torso and arm tightly in towels as she beckoned to him. He knelt beside her and placed his hands where she instructed, fighting the encroaching hopelessness as he registered the amount of blood. How much blood was in a human body? Surely not much more.
"Spirits, Jane…" He murmured as he began applying pressure as best he could, and Liara nodded her approval as she shifted and returned her focus to searching the first aid kit.
"Cortez, get us to the Normandy as quickly as you can! She needs to see Dr. Chakwas as soon as possible!" Liara called out as she checked the labels of various bottles before settling on one. The shuttle continued picking up speed as it began its accent.
"Liara, is she-" Garrus cut off and swallowed before he continued, "Is she going to make it?" His voice was small, hesitant. He wasn't sure he wanted an answer.
"I don't know, Garrus. She's survived some bad injuries before, but this…" Liara trailed off, returning her focus to loading up a syringe. Garrus jerked as a firm hand gripped his shoulder, and he turned to see James kneeling beside him.
"She's strong. Strongest pain in the ass I've ever met. She'll be okay." His words were solid and steadfast, and for a moment, Garrus let himself soak up the other man's confidence, finding comfort in his optimism.
He could hear Cortez and EDI coordinating with Joker as they made their approach toward the Normandy, but everyone went silent as a single transmission made it through on the comm.
"God… they're all gone." Someone whispered hoarsely, causing all hands to go still.
"No…" Liara gasped, her eyes going wide as she slowly let her hand with the the syringe fall. She, Garrus, Kaidan, and James all exchanged horrified looks. "It can't be…" Kaidan pulled up his comm urgently.
"Did we get anyone to the beam?" He asked hurriedly, his panic barely contained.
"Negative. Our entire force was decimated." The words seemed to echo through Garrus' brain as he struggled to accept them. He couldn't process it. The complete and utter, monumental failure, and what it meant for the galaxy. For his people, his family, for him. For Jane. For Shepard.
Oh, spirits. Shepard.
"It's too much." The soldier continued, "We need to regroup. Fall back to the buildings."
"Hammer's been wiped out. All forces… retreat." Someone else commanded. They were all thinking the same thing. We couldn't do it. We've failed.
Garrus clenched his eyes shut.
I've failed.
His life had been nothing but one failure after another. Failed cop, failed vigilante, failed "Reaper specialist". Had anything he'd ever done really made any difference in the end? And the list went on. Failed son. Failed friend. Failed mate. His love lay before him, drawing in what might be her last breaths while his best friend probably lay dead or dying down below. He didn't even know where his family was or if they were still alive.
He felt his fist clench. Spirits, why couldn't it have been him instead? He didn't deserve to be the one still living.
"Pull back! Pull back!" a terrified soldier screamed over the comm somewhere on the battlefield below. As their shuttle shot off to safety, down there in the dirt and in the dust, their hope died.
Garrus' eyes shot open as he felt a jerk, and he realized they'd stopped moving. The door snapped open, and there were two soldiers waiting with a stretcher. Without a word, they stepped aboard and began the process of carefully transferring Jane. She was muttering again, tossing restlessly.
Garrus reached out and clasped her good hand quickly, giving it a squeeze as he leaned down to her ear.
"It's going to be all right. Everything will be all right." He whispered as soothingly as he could, watching with small satisfaction as she seemed to relax. The soldiers asked him to step back, and they began rushing Jane off toward the waiting elevator.
James, Kaidan, Liara, EDI, and Garrus followed after, their pace more of a hobble than anything else. They were matted with a rainbow of hues, blood from what seemed like a dozen different sources. As they stood waiting for the elevator to return, Garrus couldn't help but wonder how long it had been since they'd first arrived on Earth. He couldn't even muster the energy or will to check the clock on his omni-tool.
He didn't even bother trying to force his way into the med bay when they arrived on the crew deck. The windows were already dimmed and Chakwas was clearly already hard at work. He knew he'd be nothing more than a distraction, so he made his way to the mess hall instead.
To his surprise, a number of injured soldiers were strewn about the room, tending wounds clearly not bad enough to require Chakwas' immediate attention. Cortez must have done a few evacs before theirs, because Garrus didn't even recognize most of the people around him.
He took a leaden step into the room, but paused as pure exhaustion washed over him. He didn't know what to do with himself, and he felt utterly useless. He didn't even know where to sit where he wouldn't be in the way, and though he knew he needed medical attention, it just didn't seem like a priority at the moment.
The room was hushed, the loudest sounds being the occasional moans of the injured. Garrus stood there, motionless, as he stared blankly at the wall. He jumped as the comm sprang to life suddenly.
"This is the admiral." It was Hackett. Garrus looked up as he blinked, bracing himself for more bad news. "We've got reports that someone made it to the Citadel."
"Shepard." Garrus breathed as his eyes widened. He knew it had to be him. There was no one else it could have been.
"We need to give them time to get those arms open." Hackett continued, "All fleets: Converge on the Crucible. Protect it at all costs."
"Let's head to the bridge." Kaidan said, and Garrus turned to see him and James nearby. Nodding, he followed after them, limping toward the elevator. As he turned the corner, he could hear a heart wrenching, nauseating scream from inside the med bay, but he stayed his feet before he could turn toward the door. There was nothing he could do for her right now except get in Chakwas' way.
Swallowing, Garrus grimaced and hit the elevator button.
None of them were moving fast as they made their way into the cockpit. EDI had already arrived, taking her usual place in the seat to Joker's right.
"Guys, did you hear? We got someone up onto the-" Joker twisted around in his chair just enough to glance back at them as they entered. He did a double take, his eyes nearly jumping out of his head as he registered their appearance. "Whoa. You guys look like shit." The three of them shared dry looks, all of them plastered in blood, grime, and spirits-only-knew what else.
"Yeah. Thanks." Garrus grunted as Kaidan rolled his eyes.
"So what's happening with the Crucible?" James prompted, and Joker returned his focus to the screens before him.
"Well, you heard what Hackett said. We think someone made it to the beam." Joker said as he began flicking through displays, and hope surged in Garrus, a ray of sun parting the suffocating clouds that had clung to him.
"It's Shepard. I know it is." He stated firmly, causing the others to look at him sharply.
"How can you be so sure?" Kaidan asked, his voice soft as he shook his head. As the Normandy turned, the Citadel came into view, sleek and tightly shut. "What if it's just some trick? What if it's the Illusive Man?" Kaidan's voice was nothing but a whisper, as though admitting to his deepest fears.
"It's Shepard." Garrus repeated, leaving no room for doubt. "It's him. It has to be."
As if on cue, the Citadel's arms began to open like the silent wings of a guardian angel. Their salvation. Garrus' knees felt weak, threatening to drop him to the floor, and he reached for something to hold himself up as he forced himself to breathe a sigh of relief.
"This is it, everyone." Hackett's voice came through Joker's comm, loud and clear. "The arms are opening." The crucible immediately began moving forward, shedding its outer shell like some kind of second skin. Its own arms began to open, reaching out to position itself. "Ten seconds to contact."
The entire room held its breath as they waited to see the fruits of their labor. It began to slow as it approached the Citadel, and as it came to a crawl, they all leaned forward with baited breath.
"That's it! The Crucible is docked!"
"Yes!" Joker cried out in excitement as he pumped his fist into the air. "We did it!" Kaidan leaned forward to pat the pilot's arm as he smiled, and James muttered a thankful prayer. But Garrus' eyes narrowed as he watched the strange joining of gigantic machines.
"So… What now?" He asked hesitantly, and the others went quiet as they turned to him. "What's supposed to happen now?"
They all looked up at the Crucible as it did absolutely nothing. They waited, and yet… nothing happened. They exchanged worried glances as dread began to return, their elation of moments before wilting away.
"Shepard." Hackett called out over the comm suddenly, breaking the silence. "Commander!"
"I- uh…" Shepard replied after a moment, but his voice was weak, strained. "What do you need me to do?" Garrus went cold at the pure pain and exhaustion in the Commander's voice. It was unlike anything he'd ever heard from him before.
"Nothing's happening. The Crucible's not firing." Hackett explained urgently, and though Shepard didn't respond for a moment or two, there were grunts of pain as he seemed to struggle. "It's got to be something on your end."
Still, there was no reply from Shepard. They all waited anxiously, and Garrus' mandibles fluttered as he forced himself to breath.
"Commander Shepard!" Hackett pleaded, and Kaidan ran his fingers through his hair as he turned away with a grimace.
"Come on, Shepard…" Joker whispered, his eyes narrowing as he looked up toward the Citadel, "You can do this…"
"I don't see—" Shepard finally replied, his voice more a gasp than anything, "I'm not sure how to—" He cut off suddenly.
"Commander?" Hackett asked, his voice losing its usual confidence. There was no reply. They stood there in silence as nothing happened.
"Is this really how it ends?" James whispered as the Normandy looped around the Crucible as close as they dared. "Did we really come this far… all for this? For nothing?"
"Wait! Look!" Joker exclaimed as he pointed toward the Citadel.
It was moving, its arms opening up wider. No one said anything as they watched in wonder. The only movement was the flashing of Joker's hands over the controls.
They might have waited minutes, but Garrus had long since lost all sense of time. Was Shepard down there? If they flew just a little closer, would they be able to see him?
Without warning, a burst of bright light flashed into existence right at the point where the Citadel and Crucible met.
"All fleets!" Hackett broke the silence, his usual tone of command back in place. "The Crucible is armed. Disengage and head to the rendezvous point."
"Wait. We can't just leave Shepard." Joker stated in disbelief, outraged. "He's the big goddamn hero! We can't just leave without him!" His hands moved faster as the Normandy circled around the Crucible again, dodging Reaper forces as they attacked. Garrus and the others exchanged a heavy look.
"I repeat: Disengage and get the hell out of here!" Joker continued to ignore the orders as he maneuvered the ship, his teeth set in a determined grimace. The ominous pinpoint of light was growing larger by the moment, and all around them, ships were turning and fleeing as fast as they could.
Part of Garrus wanted nothing more than to agree with Joker and stay to find Shepard. But then he thought back to his final conversation with the Commander before the shuttle had taken off.
Make sure she lives.
Garrus stepped forward and gripped Joker's shoulder with gentle but firm force as he made his decision.
"Joker, listen. We have to go." Joker froze at the words. He hesitated, but as the light emanating from the Crucible continued to expand exponentially, he finally came to a decision
"Damn it…" He flicked through the controls, and the Normandy began to turn away. Around them, ships were making the jump to FTL, and with a few more command inputs, the Normandy followed suit.
Garrus shut his eyes and looked away. He pictured Jane down below in the med bay fighting for her life, and he prayed they'd made the right decision. There was no telling what would happen when the Crucible fired, but if they wanted to live, they shouldn't hang around to find out.
As they picked up speed, the stars beyond the window were little more than streaks through the sky, and Garrus let himself begin to relax. Was it over? Was it truly over?
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he registered the rising commotion from nearby. Voices filtered in from back in the CIC, and he turned to see anxious crew members pulling up new holo displays.
"What's going on?" Garrus asked as he turned back to Joker. They were still picking up speed, which seemed excessive.
"There's an enormous wave of energy emanating out from the Sol system." EDI explained, an odd note of fear in her voice. "Jeff is attempting to outrun it, but-"
"I can do it." The pilot hissed, his jaw clenched as he focused on the readouts before him. His hands moved faster than Garrus had ever seen them, and he seemed to be doing everything he could to draw out every drop of power from the Normandy.
Garrus could feel a growing turbulence as they continued to accelerate, and he gripped Joker's chair anxiously as he tried to make sense of the holo displays before them.
Someone on the CIC shouted something, and Garrus noticed an odd, unexpected hue encroaching on them through the window. Looking down at the charts before them, he swallowed a lump of fear. The Normandy was pushed to its limits, and yet it wasn't enough. The floor beneath him began to vibrate, warning sirens going off at a number of consoles.
This couldn't be how they all died. They'd come so far, the Crucible had fired, they were so close, they couldn't just-
Somewhere, there was an explosion, and Garrus lost his grip. Pain exploded in his head and everything went black.
It was almost completely silent.
It was odd. On the Citadel, there were always city sounds in the background, and on the Normandy you could always hear the soft sounds of the air system or the quiet hum of the engine. And back on Earth, there had been-
Garrus' eyes shot open as memories began gushing back through his mind like the breaking of a dam. As he looked around, he struggled to process what he was seeing. He was on the floor of the Normandy's cockpit, and bright light streamed in through the window. Not just any light, but the vivid warmth of natural sunlight.
"Where…?" He groaned as he sat up and looked around. He brought a hand to the side of his head, wincing at a stab of pain as his fingers came away sticky and blue with blood. It was hardly his worst injury at the moment, so he began picking himself up off the floor as best he could.
There was a groan from nearby, and he noticed Joker rolling his shoulder, still in the pilot's chair.
"You okay?" Garrus asked, and after a pause, Joker nodded. Nearby, Kaidan was checking on EDI, who was sprawled out on the floor, unmoving, and James was on all fours as he struggled to get up. Back in the CIC, he could see crew members picking each other up and fiddling with displays. But besides basic life support, the Normandy seemed to be offline.
"I have enough systems working that I can at least do a quick scan…Hold on." Joker trailed off as he pulled up a few displays. "We seem to be on some uncharted garden world." He checked a few more charts and figures before sitting back. After a pause, he carefully began to stand. "It should be safe…"
Garrus watched as the pilot slowly stood and hobbled toward the airlock. The door hissed open, and sunlight poured into the small space. Squinting, Garrus followed after.
The planet was green, lush, and beautiful. The sunlight was warm on his skin, and a sweet, gentle breeze played across his skin and plates. It tickled his nose with the promise of unfamiliar flowers and other vegetation. Joker took a few halting steps down on to the rocky ground, and Garrus limped after him. Together, they looked up into the pale blue sky, cotton candy clouds drifting by lazily. Strange birds flapped their wings high above, and everything was utterly peaceful.
Garrus allowed himself to breathe deeply.
"We're alive." He whispered, his voice distant and awed. Joker turned to him with a small half smile, and nodded.
"Somehow."
Garrus allowed himself one more breath of fresh air before turning back toward the ship. His leg screamed, but he pushed himself as he hurried toward the elevator. The lights were dim, but the lift appeared soon after he hit the button.
The crew deck was also quiet, almost reverently so. Injured soldiers whispered in small groups, their eyes coming up to watch him as he made a beeline for the med bay. Hitting the door button, he stepped inside.
"What's happened?" Chakwas looked up from where she assisted last of her patients back onto one of the medbay's beds. Much like the rest of the ship, the whole room was in shambles, and Garrus was suddenly transported back to the aftermath of their trip through the Omega 4 relay.
He kicked aside a box of gauze as he stepped into the room. Data pads that had once been stacked neatly upon the doctor's desk were now strewn about the room, and her eternally half-drunk cup of coffee was splashed across the floor. Previously neat shelves had regurgitated their contents across the room, turning the floor into a minefield of medical supplies.
"We've crash landed on an unidentified garden planet." Garrus muttered mechanically, his brain seemingly on autopilot as he looked around.
Every bed was full, the worst of the injuries having been brought in for Chakwas' care. Along the wall were temporary cots made up of what mattresses and linens could be dragged in from the crew quarters, all of them splattered with blood. Chakwas, herself, was drenched in it, her hair sticking up wildly and deep bags beneath her eyes.
Garrus scanned each face until he found the only one in the galaxy that mattered.
Jane lay quietly on one of the beds, her torso wrapped tightly in stained gauze and bandages. He picked his way across the room until he was standing beside her, his eyes roaming across her body and face. Her eyes were shut, her breathing slow and shallow, and her skin was impossibly pale. She was connected to tubes and wires, and a machine beeped rhythmically nearby.
"Is she…?" Garrus breathed, unable to tear his eyes away from her face, unable to ask the question.
"She'll pull through. She needs more care, but it will have to wait." Chakwas sighed as she began peeling back a man's bloody bandages, frowning. Garrus' eyes landed on Jane's bandaged torso. Her hard suit had been removed from the waist up, leaving her upper body bare except for the bandages. As he stared, his heart thudded painfully in his chest as it became impossible to ignore the obvious problem.
"Her arm…" Realization bloomed as he looked up, seeing a nearby tray with an array of bloodied tools. Her torso was wrapped tightly, but her arm…
It was completely gone.
Garrus looked up, his eyes wide, and Chakwas sighed as she finished replacing the other man's dressing.
"I'm sorry, Garrus." She began removing her gloves with slow, tired movements as she looked back at Jane. "I did what I could with what we have aboard, but there's no telling when we'll be able to get her to an equipped hospital. I had to prioritize her life."
Mutely, Garrus nodded. After a moment, he ripped his eyes away from her and grabbed a nearby box of gauze from the floor. He opened the envelope and pulled it out before reaching for a bottle labeled as antiseptic for humans. Pouring some onto the gauze, he began dabbing at a few of Jane's other various cuts, scrapes, and gashes that had been thus far ignored.
Keeping his hands busy and finding a way to be useful helped still his mind as he struggled to process this new reality. They had crash landed on an uncharted planet, they had no idea what had happened with the Reapers and the Crucible, spirits only knew what had happened to Shepard, and Jane-
Garrus slumped down onto a nearby stool and brought a hand up to cup his face. What if they couldn't get the Normandy back online? What if they powered up their distress beacon and drew Reaper forces instead of help? The chances of the lifeforms on this planet being dextro amino based was slim, what if he ran out of rations before help arrived?
He cursed under his breath. To come all this way, only to die here like this…
A hand gripped his shoulder, and he looked up to see Doctor Chakwas standing before him, a tired smile on her face.
"She's going to be okay. We'll get through this. We always do." She murmured as she gave his shoulder a squeeze. Garrus stared up at the pale-haired doctor and felt as though he was truly seeing her for the first time.
"Yeah, we always do." He sighed and smiled as he nodded slowly. "We always do."
Three Months Later
"Okay, Westmoreland, I'm going to need you and Campbell to head outside and help Cortez with getting the Hull Panel 21B in place." Garrus directed as he handed a data pad off to the young woman, who nodded. "The soldering has been finished up and we need to get tests done once it's back in position. And Jenkins!" He called out as the soldier walked by. Jenkins stopped and hurried over, back straight as he listened for instructions. "I need you to go and assist Adams down in Engineering. He needs an extra pair of hands to repair part of the drive core's ventilation systems today."
"Yes, sir!" Jenkins saluted before hurrying toward the elevators. Garrus sighed and picked up another data pad as he began scanning the list of remaining provisions.
"Wow, should I be calling you Commander Garrus now? Want me to salute, too?" Joker grinned as he hobbled past, having just left the elevator as Jenkins entered. Garrus rolled his eyes and ignored the pilot, though he couldn't stop the amused flick of his mandibles.
"Do not listen to Jeff." Garrus turned to see EDI approaching from the direction of the war room, a toolbox in one hand. "He says he likes to play a game he calls 'Poke the Bear.' I do not understand the reference, however, as you are neither a bear nor is he poking you." She looked almost irritated with herself. "In the past, this is the sort of phrase I would research on the extranet. I look forward to the day we are able to reestablish our connection." With that, she trailed after the pilot.
Garrus smiled as he returned his attention to his data pad. They'd had a scary first few days after their crash. EDI had collapsed and hadn't recovered immediately. Whatever that beam of energy was had completely knocked her out. Adams and Liara had taken a look at the AI core and decided that there was at least some activity, but it wasn't until a few days later that they were able to make contact with her.
EDI had, apparently, made some preparations prior to their mission to Earth. No one had been sure how the Crucible would target the Reapers, but knowing she carried Reaper code in her system, she had apparently been worried. She had decided to take precautions for when the Crucible was fired in order to protect her most important systems. And it had worked, to some extent. She was functional, though even three months later, she was still working to restore some of her systems.
Garrus frowned. They hadn't been able to establish any sort of connection with the rest of the galaxy, and the Normandy was still grounded. They didn't even know if the Crucible had successfully defeated the Reapers. There had been some debate right after the crash as to whether or not they should activate their emergency beacon. Eventually they had decided that, in the event that the Crucible hadn't worked, they were living on borrowed time anyway. So they activated it, and still had yet to hear anything. From anyone, good or bad.
It made him anxious for a number of reasons. He looked down at the data pad in his hand and let his eyes scroll through their dwindling reserves of food. The rest of the crew could figure out how to live off the land, perhaps, but him…
Garrus spun and began his rounds. He hadn't meant to take command, but the position had been empty and someone had needed to fill Shepard's shoes. If no one found them, then their only hope was to get the Normandy into the air and limp her to the nearest inhabited system, wherever that may be. And to do that, they needed to get to work.
One by one, he checked in with each crew member, ensuring they were doing what they needed to be doing, and making sure they had what they needed for their job. Everyone seemed single-minded in their resolve not to die on some remote garden planet, so no one ever seemed to argue with him.
He stepped into the comm room and stopped.
"Goddamn. Fucking. Thing…" Jane growled as she struggled to tighten a bolt with her left hand. She was kneeling on the ground, twisted awkwardly as she tried to keep her balance. The wrench slipped and clattered to the ground and she let out a huff. "Fucking hell!"
"Here, let me help." Garrus knelt down next to her and reached for the wrench. Jane quickly snatched it up before shooting him an irritated glower.
"I can do it. I didn't ask for help." Her words were short and clipped, the heat of her frustration bleeding into her voice. Garrus held up a hand in defense, and she quickly deflated. Sighing, she lay the wrench down beside her and sat back against the wall, running her hand through her bangs before brushing them out of her face. "Sorry, Garrus. I didn't mean to snap at you. This is just… infuriating."
"I know." Garrus sat down beside her and leaned his head back. He took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. He glanced across her body to her other sleeve as it hung limply, completely empty.
The first few weeks after Jane had woken up had been rough. Most of the crew had been left reeling after their sudden crash, but Jane's recovery been understandably rocky. She'd laid there in utter defeat as Chakwas had explained what happened, and Garrus would never forget the storm of emotions that had crossed her face as she'd processed it.
The first week she'd lived in a fog of depression, convinced that her brother had died and that she'd never adjust to life with only one arm. Then had come the anger, which was about what Garrus had expected from someone as hot tempered as Jane. She'd oscillated through what Chakwas assured him was a perfectly normal range of emotions for someone who was in mourning. When Garrus had pointed out that they didn't know that Shepard was dead, she'd informed him that what Jane was most likely mourning was herself.
Jane, who had always been one of the quickest, most capable people in any room she'd set foot in. Jane, who had been one of the best hand-to-hand combatants Garrus had ever gone up against. Jane, who had spent her life honing her abilities, an artist with a sniper rifle.
Jane, who now only had a single arm.
So much of what she'd prided about herself had been stripped away in an instant. She'd struggled with everything, from getting dressed to feeding herself. Garrus did his best to help her, but in typical Jane fashion, she had doubled down and almost always refused help.
Bit by bit, she began pulling herself back out of the pit, but every now and then he caught her staring bleakly off into the distance, her face so stricken that he had no doubt what was on her mind. It put things in perspective, watching her struggle to cope.
"Sorry." Jane murmured again, their fingers intertwining as Garrus felt the pressure of her cheek on his shoulder. "This has been… so hard. And I…" Her voice cracked, and she paused to take a breath. "I can't stop wondering. I just wish I knew what had happened, one way or another. I don't know if he's dead or alive. I don't know if I should mourn, or worry, or… or what. I can't stand this waiting and wondering."
"Me, neither. We'll keep working, and eventually we'll get back to Earth one way or another." Garrus turned his head to press a kiss into her soft hair, humming contentedly as it tickled his nose. The smell of her shampoo engulfed him, a familiar comfort.
"Garrus," she whispered, fear creeping up in the silent moment that followed, "You know we only have a few more weeks of dextro rations…" She trailed off, and Garrus released a long sigh, but he didn't move.
"I'll be fine."
"I can't do this without you." The words were quiet, and yet they seemed to echo through the small room. "I can't just sit here and watch you starve to death. You've been on 3/4th rations for the past few weeks and you've already lost so much weight."
Standing, Garrus brushed his pants off before offering her a hand. She glowered up at him before begrudgingly taking it and allowing him to pull her to her feet.
"How about we just focus on getting the ship working again." He said as he turned toward the door. He couldn't make himself meet her eye as he focused on pushing the thoughts of his impending fate to the back of his mind. There was nothing he could do about it at the moment except work a little harder, push a little further. And there was plenty of time for anxiety as he lay in bed each night, his stomach growling.
"Fine." Jane grunted as she reached down and grabbed her wrench and tossed it back into her tool box with a loud clatter. She snapped the box shut, picked it up, and followed Garrus as he left the comm room and made his way through the war room.
He could feel her glare burning a hole through the floor as they walked, and as they passed by the empty conference room, he paused to look back at her with a half cocked smile.
"If work isn't keeping you distracted, I can think of other activities to keep your mind off things…" He trailed off as his smile grew wider, and Jane's eyebrows shot up. A smile tickled the corners of her lips as she fought against it.
"Are you suggesting something, Mr. Vakarian?" If she could, she would have crossed her arms in mock offense, he just knew it.
"I might be, Mrs. Shepard." Garrus took a step closer so that they were a hair's breadth apart. They stood like that, noses almost brushing as each refused to break eye contact. Just as he was about to grab her, he heard the loud thud of the tool box hitting the floor. Before he knew what was happening, she'd grabbed the front of his shirt in a firm fist and thrust him back against the glass of the conference room wall. She released his shirt as she leaned in, her firm hand pressing him back as she grinned up at him wolfishly. "Careful what you wish for, Big Guy."
Garrus couldn't help the pleased and aroused hum of his subvocals. The past week or two, Jane had finally begun to seem more like herself. Gentle coaxing and support had helped her through her recovery, and in moments such as these, he knew she'd be okay.
She'd just pressed her soft, warm lips to his mouth plates when there was an awkward clearing of a throat over the comm.
"Uh, sorry to interrupt," Joker sounded anything but as he suppressed a laugh, "but I think you guys need to get up here. Like, now."
Jane stepped back, her eyebrows raised as she looked up. "What is it, Joker?"
"We just got a blip on the sensors. We're not sure, but we think it might be someone who can help."
Jane stood up straighter for a heartbeat before turning and hurrying through the unmanned security checkpoint, her toolbox left forgotten on the floor behind her. Garrus followed after without another thought. Together, they all but ran through the CIC.
"Who is it?" Jane asked sharply as she came to stand behind him, leaning forward as she gripped the shoulder of Joker's chair.
"I just got confirmation, it's an asari patrol. They've been out searching for survivors, and are apparently very pleased to have found us. Guess we've been missed or something."
"Do we have a secure line yet?" Liara asked as she came to a stop beside them, out of breath as though she'd ran.
"Just about, hold on…" Joker hit a few commands, and a holo screen popped up.
"Come in Normandy, do you read?" A staticy voice asked as a picture appeared. It wavered a little, but seemed to grow stronger by the moment.
"Yes, this is the SSV Normandy. We read you loud and mostly clear." Joker proclaimed triumphantly as he leaned forward with eager anticipation, the fruits of their labor and an answer to their prayers finally having arrived.
"It's an honor to have been the ones to finally find you guys." A cheerful asari chirped as she smiled. "Are you alright? We have a team preparing to go goundside momentarily to provide support."
"Our ship is, obviously, nonfunctional at the-" Joker began, but Jane pushed forward cutting him off suddenly.
"The war. Did we win?" She asked urgently, putting voice to the question on everyone's mind. "Did the Crucible fire? Did it destroy the Reapers? Did we win?" The words tumbled out of her like an eruption, the pressure too much to keep contained any longer. The asari exchanged a surprised look with someone off screen before looking back with a wide smile.
"Yes. The war is over." An explosion of wild cheers went up around the room, and Garrus threw back his head and laughed. Relief washed over him, a weight removed that had been there so long he had stopped registering it. Turning away, he ran a hand over his crest as chuckles reverberated in his chest. To his surprise, half the Normandy's crew seemed to be standing behind them, clustered in the small hall leading from the CIC, all cheering, hugging, laughing, and crying as they listened in.
"The Reapers were all deactivated somehow. There was this tremendous burst of red energy from the Crucible, and all the Reapers just… fell over. It was amazing!"
Garrus reached for Jane, whose eyes were bright with overwhelmed emotion, and pulled her in for a hug. Her arm came up to wrap around him, clinging to him for dear life, and she struggled with an upswell of emotion. They had been fighting the Reapers for so long. And it was over. It was finally over.
After a moment, Jane broke away, reaching again for Joker's chair. The asari on the screen was grinning as she watched them celebrating, but her focus turned to Jane as she leaned in.
"What about Commander John Shepard? Is he alright?" Jane asked loudly over the sounds of jubilant voices around her. Everyone hushed as they processed her question, turning expectantly to the holo screen as they awaited the answer.
The asari's smile fell as she turned to exchange a guarded look with the person off screen. Garrus' happiness and relief of moments earlier froze solid in his veins. He could see Jane stiffen, the strain and anxiety in her aura nearly palpable.
"I… I don't know. I heard he'd been found, but…" The asari wilted as she paused, clearly unsure how to continue. Jane's reply was cold steel.
"You need to get us back to Earth. Now."
It was with great relief that Garrus boarded the shuttle and made the trip up to the asari ship that would take them back to Earth. He'd pictured himself dying in any number of action packed or heroic ways over the years, but starving to death on a lush, beautiful garden planet full of food he couldn't eat had not been one of them.
It took a few loads, but they managed to get all of the Normandy's crew aboard, and before long, they were heading toward Earth. It was a quiet journey, and though they knew they were returning victorious, they also knew they were returning to a world which had been all but destroyed in the process. Garrus remembered distinctly the destruction they'd witnessed in London, and he had to imagine a good deal of the planet looked similar. Loss was something each and every one of them had experienced over the last few months.
Soon after they arrived in Earth's orbit, they loaded back into the shuttle to head down to the surface. Jane sat in utter silence, her face dark, storm clouds billowing in her expression. Her leg vibrated anxiously as she stared a hole through the ground, her single set of fingers drumming out a pattern on her knee.
They had had very little news about Shepard other than that he'd been found and was being treated at the closest thing the Alliance had to a hospital these days. The asari aboard the ship would only speak of Shepard in hushed, awed voices as though he were something unreal, a legend or perhaps a god. It seemed as though actual information about Shepard was being kept quiet, probably by the Alliance, but whispers and rumors about him seemed to be running rampant. Garrus heard all sorts of speculation from the asari crew, including one maiden who was absolutely convinced that Shepard had stopped the Reapers with the power of love, of all things.
Regardless, Garrus knew that they'd find out what happened up on the Citadel sooner or later. All he cared about was whether or not Shepard was okay. And on that point, the asari crew had little to no information.
The shuttle touched down just outside the building which was currently the Alliance's main military hospital. Prior to the war, Garrus would have been shocked by the rundown, half dilapidated building. Now, however, he was just astonished they'd managed to find a building this large that was still intact.
"Guys! Over here!" Garrus' head snapped around, his eyes widening as he recognized the familiar voice.
"Ash!" Jane called out as she turned and hurried toward the doorway. Ashley stood there in Alliance fatigues as she waved eagerly, her hair tied up in a loose ponytail. She tried to hide her double take as she noticed Jane's arm, but caught her up in a warm hug nonetheless.
"It's so good to see you guys. We were so worried." Ashley murmured as they stepped apart. She avoided looking at Jane's missing limb with a focus so intense that she might as well have stared.
"It's good to see you, too, Ash." Garrus said as he held out his hand, and she shook it with a smile as she shifted her attention to him.
"Where's John? Can you take me to him?" Jane insisted, not in the mood to waste any time. Ashley nodded as she gestured toward the door.
"Sure, come on. We'll head right up." Garrus watched Ashley's face for any hint of what to expect, but it seemed carefully schooled to neutrality.
Every room they passed was packed to the brim, beds lining the walls with very little space left for maneuvering. Soldiers with a variety of injuries were covered in bandages, some of which were makeshift alternatives to traditional medical dressings, and Garrus wondered how long ago they'd run out of medigel. Nurses bustled from room to room, distributing cold rations and bottled water, and he supposed that they were lucky enough to have that, at least.
Despite the rough conditions, there was an air of optimism and calm in every hall they traversed. It was as though none of it mattered, now that the Reapers were gone. In comparison to what they'd been through, what they'd experienced during the war, this was nothing. There were no monstrous abominations knocking down their doors, and there were no hellish gods of death descending from the sky. This was calm, this was peace. This is what they'd fought for.
Garrus blinked as they stepped into an elevator and registered the fact that Ashley had been talking to them the entire time. He hadn't been listening, and from the look of Jane's far-off gaze, neither was she.
The doors opened, and Garrus tried to curb his stream of consciousness as they stepped out into a hushed hallway. This floor seemed different, almost hallowed. There were guards stationed just outside the elevator, and they nodded their recognition as the three of them stepped out. Silently, Ashley led them down the hallway, but it wasn't long until they stopped before a closed door. Two more guards stood stiffly outside, and Garrus' brow plates rose in surprise.
It seemed like a lot of security for one man. Had there been attempts on Shepard's life? Or were they trying to stop Shepard from leaving? As one soldier reached to palm the door controls for them, Garrus thought of the asari crew's reverent whispers about Shepard. Perhaps all of this was meant as respect for the hero who had saved not only mankind, but all life across the galaxy.
Garrus' eyes flicked to Jane as the doors opened, noting her downcast eyes and tense jaw. She'd refused to speak about her anxieties regarding what they'd find at the hospital, but could see the stomach churning, heart pumping worry that clutched her. Her unvoiced fears radiated off her in waves, her knuckles white as she clenched her hands tightly at her sides.
"Jane! Garrus!" He looked up to see Tali sitting beside a single bed in what was perhaps the only private room in the building. A machine at the bedside beeped with a quiet rhythm, and dancing motes caught the morning light as it streamed through the window. "You're here!"
Tali stood as she turned to fully face them, her hands coming up to grasp her helmet in surprise. Jane took one faulting step into the room, her breath caught in her chest as her eyes went wide. Tali stepped aside as she turned to look back down at the figure in the bed.
Shepard lay under a layer of sheets, a wide smile on his tired face. He had a variety of wires attaching him to the complicated machine at his bedside, and between the variety of new scars and his considerable weight loss, Garrus might not have recognized him. Despite that, Shepard looked happier and more relaxed than he had in months, perhaps even since the beginning of the war.
"John!" Jane crossed the room in the flash of an eye. "You're alive! They couldn't tell me anything, I thought…" She trailed off, her voice thick with emotion as tears threatened to fall. She stopped beside the bed as she reached for his hand, and Shepard gazed up with her with warm affection as his own eyes began to brim with tears.
"I'm so happy you're okay, Jane. When I woke up, they had no idea where the Normandy was or any of you on it. I feared the worst." Jane sat on the bedside and bent down to press a kiss to his forehead. Shepard's eyes closed, basking in the warmth of his sister's affection as a single tear trickled down his check.
"So did I." Jane whispered as she sat back up and smiled down at her brother, clasping his hand firmly. "You look rough, even after three months. I can't even imagine what you went through." Her words were nearly a whisper, and images of what Shepard must have experienced flashed through Garrus' mind unbidden. He came to stand beside the bed, and Shepard gave him a watery smile.
"Garrus, it's good to see you. I'm glad you guys are both alright." He brought his free hand up to scrub at his eyes, brushing away the tears, careful to avoid the tubes and wires protruding from his arm.
"You, too, Shepard. Looks like you've been through the ringer." Garrus said, and Shepard chuckled as he nodded.
"Yeah, they said it was a miracle I survived. No one quite knows how, but Miranda thinks it was all my cybernetics. I don't really care how it happened, I'm just happy to be alive." Carefully, he began pulling himself up to sit, still mostly supported by the headboard. He reached forward to pull Jane into a hug, which she readily returned.
Garrus turned to offer a greeting to Tali, who swept him up in a hug of her own. As they pulled apart, he turned to see Shepard holding Jane out at arm's length, his eyes opened wide in shock.
"Jane, your arm…" He murmured as he examined her, and Jane averted her eyes.
"Yeah, Chakwas couldn't..." Her words were quiet, as though ripped from her in shame. She opened her mouth to continue, but cut off as Shepard let loose a bark of laughter. They both stared at him in hurt surprise as chuckles continued to bubble up, and Shepard released her to cover his face. "What the hell, John?" Jane hissed as her eyes narrowed, but Shepard waved his hand for her to wait as he settled.
"I'm sorry, Jane. I didn't mean to laugh, it's just-" Shepard cut off as he shifted and gripped the sheet covering him. With a swift yank, he flung it off, forcing Jane to stand. "I guess we match now."
Garrus stared as he registered what he was seeing. Shepard sat on the bed, dressed in nothing but a hospital gown that covered his chest, torso, and waist, leaving his scarred leg exposed.
His single leg.
"John, what…" Jane looked her brother's body over in astonishment as she took in his missing limb. His other leg stopped abruptly at mid thigh, and Shepard rubbed it gently as though it were sore or stiff. Jane's legs seemed to give out, and she plopped back down on to the bed, tears trickling down her cheeks.
Her shoulders began to shake, and Garrus was about to offer her comfort when he heard an unexpected sound. Without warning, Jane began to laugh through the tears as she reached for her brother. He, too, began to laugh again as they clung to each other, a sopping mess of relief and gratitude to a universe kind enough to return their last remaining family member.
The chuckles slowly petered out as Garrus and Tali exchanged bemused glances, and eventually the siblings pulled apart, their hands still clutched tightly between them.
"I can't believe it." Jane whispered as her brother lifted a hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks tenderly. "We did it. We destroyed the Reapers, and we survived."
"Yeah, it seems like some sort of dream. I'm still processing it all." Shepard agreed as he brushed away his own tears again. Jane looked back down at his missing leg.
"So, are you going to be fitted for a prosthetic? They have some really amazing cybernetic ones, I hear you can barely tell the difference. You'll need a good one if you want to return to duty." Shepard smiled at her words, but shook his head.
"I'll probably get a prosthetic, but I won't be returning to the Alliance. I've officially retired." Jane blinked in surprise at his words, her mouth popping open. "I think I've done my part for the galaxy. Now I just want to focus on living so I can enjoy the peace we worked so hard to secure." He turned to look up at Tali with a warm smile. After a moment, Jane nodded her understanding.
"I think that's great, John. You deserve it." She said as she looked at the couple gazing at each other happily. Finally, Shepard turned back to Jane with a question in his eyes.
"What about you, Jane? What are you going to do now?"
Jane sat there quietly as she looked out toward the window. Beyond it, the surrounding city lay in ruins, a few construction projects underway in order to establish housing and storage for supplies. Trucks picked their way through cracked and broken roads, and people of all races working together to move supplies and debris.
They lived in a different world now, one that had been through hell and come out the other side. They had a future now, something that hadn't been guaranteed just months before. People were free to hope and dream, knowing they would have a chance to make those dreams a reality without fear of the Reapers looming over them.
Garrus stepped closer to place a hand on Jane's good shoulder, and she smiled as she brought her hand up to rest upon his. She gave it a squeeze.
"I don't know." She stated, her voice laced with a firm strength he hadn't heard in months. "But I'm excited to find out."
The light filtering through the window caught her vibrant hair, and Garrus lifted his other hand to loop a lock of it over one talon gently. He didn't know what their future would hold, but he knew one thing.
He couldn't think of anyone else he'd rather face it with.
(Note: And there we have it, part 3 is complete! This has been such a journey, thank you so much to everyone who has made it this far with me. If you've enjoyed it, please let me know! I'd love to hear what you think. It's been a bit emotional for me as we get to this point. This project has been very dear to my heart and has taken me almost exactly two years to write. It's very strange seeing it come to a close. I'll be back with the epilogue very soon, where I hope to address any questions that still remain and give our characters a future. Until then!)
