Hi! Hope my first chapter didn't put too many of you off. Unfortunately, there's a lot of DIALOG in this that I gawk at as a writer who tries to avoid dialog, but I really couldn't think of any other way to get across what I needed to.

Anyhow, I know we want to skip to the good parts in which they are able to come clean about their feelings and jump into each other's arms... Etc. But even the author noted that Sai would need more time to really get a grasp on everything, so I thought we'd take our time here with Sai. I promise there's a lot of really cute stuff up ahead.

I'd love to know what you think. What you're predicting. What do you think of my Ino and Sai voices? Is it accurate at all? Haha I don't even know sometimes, but I'm actually having a great time writing them both.

Enjoy! And thank you!


The rain had begun to coat the ground in mud. Sai trudged forward through the forest making his way to a pass. A border stretched across the earth for as long as the eye could see. He stopped and read the sign. One step further and he would no longer be in the Land of Fire. But without any hesitation, he continued forward, knowing that he had made up his mind a long time ago.

After the fight with Hisao, he hadn't spent much time packing. Only getting the necessities. He didn't have much time. All he could do was write a quick note and leave his apartment in the state that it was. But before he left, he would have to inform the Hokage.

He remembered the look of shock on the Silver-haired Lord.

"So, you're not coming back?"

"Yes. For personal reasons that I cannot share." Kakashi's eyebrows narrowed. His lazy eye lingered on the recent injuries on Sai's body. Though Hisao had rendered Sai unable to fight by closing his chakra points, none of the damage was too physically noticeable. But he could never be too careful. Realizing this, he quickly adjusted his posture. "But believe me, Sensei, I pledge my loyalty to this village and thus, in my travels, I would like the opportunity to gather intel and report any important matters straight to you."

The Hokage leaned back in his chair. "I don't see why not… How far do you intend to go? … How long?"

"I can't say. Could be years."

A glimmer of curiosity returned to the copy ninja's face trying to deduce Sai's sudden desire to travel. "Well, if that's what you want. Who am I to stand in your way?"

Sai bowed. "Thank you, Lord Hokage. I'll be sure to report any relevant matters to you as soon as they are found."

Just as he turned to the exit, ready to leave like any normal mission, he stopped at the Hokage's voice. "Whatever your personal matter- I hope you do return home. We consider you one of us, Sai… You'll be missed."

Sai bowed again and smiled. "Thank you, Lord Hokage."

"Travel safely." The copy ninja said to him getting one last glance at Sai.

"I will, thank you."

And with that Sai had left the village.

The lack of urgency felt strange to him. How odd. He had traveled on many missions, ones much more dangerous than this one, and the Hokage had never said anything so... paternal. Perhaps it was one of those heartfelt goodbyes.

Even now, trudging through the rain in a foreign land, the goodbye still felt strange to him. It made him feel warm inside to know he would be missed. He wondered what the goodbye would have been like with others.

Should I have given Beauty a goodbye?

He quickly shut down the random thought. He did what he had to do. He knew that if he did give Ino a proper goodbye, deep down he may have not had the courage to leave.

Hisao was right. He felt selfish knowing that he would have stayed at her expense.

But he didn't stay. He left and without a proper goodbye. He knew he had done the right thing, but for some reason, it didn't feel that way. He felt dreadful and lethargic. It didn't help that for once in his life, he had no idea where he was going. Where he would go was up to him and he didn't have a single clue where to start.

Since Ino had been through his memories, it couldn't have been anywhere he had been before. He simply picked a new path and just kept walking.

He missed how straightforward missions were. It was easy to prioritize efficiency and effectiveness. Could he even consider this a mission? There was no goal in sight except for gathering relevant intel when applicable.

No mission, no goal, no purpose, no family, no home.

He had truly become a blank canvas.

He stopped short. He had finally reached a small village.


Sai found his way to a hotel tavern. After checking in he decided he could kill time by getting something to eat. He settled at the empty bar.

As an older brunette bartender finished tending to an elderly sage sitting across from him, she turned to greet Sai.

"Can I get you anything to drink, hon?" she asked politely.

"Just water is fine." She poured him a glass of water and handed him a menu. He read through it. The usual selections and a few region-specific specials, yet nothing really stood out to him. "I'll have the tofu, thank you." He said handing her back the menu as she took his order. He narrowed his eyes. He was an expert at blending in and fading into the background, so he immediately knew something was off when he felt eyes on him.

Someone's watching me.

Before Sai could do anything about it, the Elderly Sage who had been watching him smiled breaking the air of distrust.

"You look like you need more than just water." The man gestured towards the bartender. "Could you get this boy some Soju? On me."

"Oh no. Thank you, sir." Sai said politely, turning down the offer. "I can assure you that I am perfectly hydrated."

"I'm not talking about dehydration."

Sai scratched his head. "I do not follow."

"You look upset, kid."

The bartender turned around to look at Sai too. She cocked her head to the side as she took in his features. Then when she realized it, she elbowed the Sage. "Oh, it's as clear as day." She turned back to Sai. "Did someone break your heart, hon?"

"No. No. If it was broken, I would be dead. And I am not dead."

The two elders laughed. It suddenly hit Sai. A Broken heart as in the metaphor. He could have face-palmed. Even this he should have known considering how often the phrase is used in books.

"Then tell me, who's the misses?" The Sage asked.

Sai scrunched up his eyebrows trying to understand. "The girl you're upset over." The bartender clarified.

Sai's face darkened. The whole reason he was away from home. The whole reason he was questioning his sense of self. As much as he wanted to suppress his thoughts about her and start anew, she always seemed to follow. So much that even the elders could see it on his face.

"Her name is… Ino." He came clean.

"What happened?" The Bartender asked.

I was attacked in my home. My attacker told me that I would make her unhappy.

"We can't be together." He said leaving out those minor details.

The sage narrowed his eyes, beginning to hypothesize behind Sai's words. "Is there someone else?"

"Yes… No... I mean—I want there to be someone else. I want her to find someone else." Sai said, finalizing his answer even to himself.

"Why the hell would you want that!?" The bartender said, turning around as she stacked clean glasses on top of each other.

"I can't make her happy. Someone else can." Though the words stung, the old man stared at him cracking a small grin.

"I see… So, you love her."

"I don't know!" Sai said shooting up out of his seat, months of frustration coming out all at once. Everything in the room simply

Froze.

Everyone stared at him as he stood. The air painfully dry and still.

He came back to reality. He sat back down. "I just don't know." He said to himself.

The bartender stared at him with a sympathetic smile. She sighed and took a small shot glass and filled it with Soju. She softly put it on the table and slid it in front of ex-Root.

Sai stared at the alcohol in front of him. One of the many vices the foundation, let alone the ninja world looked down upon. But it itched and bubbled at him. Something that ached to try something that could possibly take this feeling away. Without another second, he took it.

The taste was so bitter it stung. As it fell down his throat, he felt a slight warmth within his stomach. The sage had come up to take the seat next to him. He patted the ex-Root's back.

"Don't worry kid. You'll find that these things work themselves out."

"How do you know?" Sai asked. "How do you know if you love someone?"

"Love is Sacrifice. Would you sacrifice everything for her happiness?" The sage asked.

Sai stopped to think. He had dropped his new life for her. Just when he was beginning to make friends and even become—Happy? He picked up and left because their two realities could not exist in the same place. For all the reasons Hisao said that Sai would ruin her life.

"Yes. I would."

"Is that why you want her to find someone else? You want her to be happy. Even if that isn't with you. Even if she makes you happy. You'd sacrifice your own happiness for hers." The sage said staring deep into Sai.

The bartender nodded in agreement. "You love something, let it go. If she comes back, she's yours-" She added as if throwing random proverb in the air would give Sai Solace.

"-But why would she come back? Doesn't it defeat the purpose of letting her go?"

"No." The sage shot back.

"Why?"

"Few things last forever. The forces of life always work to tear you two apart. Is your bond strong enough to withstand life's trials?"

"Is it meant to be?" The bartender added.

"What do you mean by, meant to be?"

"Meant to be. Destiny. Fate." The Sage listed off. "Do you believe in fate?"

"Do you?" Sai asked him first.

"I do."

"How would you describe it."

"I'll show you."

Suddenly the sage weaved the signs of a Genjutsu. Before the Ex-Root could react, he was already shrouded in light. Then suddenly it went still. He stood in a park. Two boys picking out clovers in the grass together. The taller boy with scruffy blonde hair spotted a 4-leaf clover and picked it. His smile was bright at his sudden pick of luck.

"Jiro" The kid said softly nudging the shorter dirty-brown-haired boy. His features are unmistakably similar. This must have been the elder he was talking to.

Jiro stood completely in awe. But without a moment to waste the blonde carefully maneuvered the clover, tucking it in Jiro's hair. Both of their cheeks went red. Hands reached out to be held until suddenly an adult hand yanked the two boys away, the clover coming undone and falling to the ground.

The light flashed again. Sai was standing at the academy. He turned around until he found the two familiar boys eating lunch together. When suddenly a whole crowd of students stood above Jiro ripping him out of his seat and lifting him up in the air.

"Jiro and Kaito sitting in a tree, K-I-S- "

Kaito stood up from his seat and pushed all the kids back with a telepathy jutsu. As Jiro fell, Kaito softened his fall. He landed on his own two feet but still cowered at the bullies around him. "Leave Jiro alone!" Kaito roared standing in front of Jiro coming to his defense. His courage was so strong even the offending kids simply gave up.

The light flashed again. The two of them, now in their 20s, walked in a forest. The sun fell into a beautiful sunset. Scratches, tears, and rips in their clothes displayed their fresh wounds of battle on their skin. Despite their lack of chakra and dire conditions, they smiled at each other.

"C'mon! Why don't we stay a little bit!" Kaito begged.

Jiro shook his head. "No can do. Look at all the holes that need to be patched. We need to get you to the village asap!"

"I'm fine Jiro. You don't need to worry all the time. Really." Kiato stopped walking.

Jiro, who had continued forward a few steps, stopped. He came back to Kaito. Kiato smiled at him, as Jiro shyly avoided his gaze. Kaito put both his hands on Jiro's shoulders. A soft blush came to Jiro's face. "C'mon, it's so nice out. Why don't we enjoy it? The mission is finished."

Jiro shook his head.

"For me? Please?"

"Why do you want to so badly?" Jiro said finally cracking a smile.

A small blush came onto Kaito's cheeks. "I just thought that I wouldn't get the chance to..."

"To what?" Jiro gestured, seemingly catching on but playing dumb. Eventually, he stopped avoiding Kitao's gaze and met it. The two stared at each other as if they could stare into each other's eyes forever. They found themselves inching closer as if gravity pulled them towards each other instead of the ground. Kaito reached out to brush Jiro's dirty-brown bangs out of his face, but the hand lingered and Jiro let it linger. Kaito got one last look into those eyes that reflected the soft golden sunset before he pulled his comrade close and finally gave him a long-awaited kiss.

The light flashed again.

"Why are you showing this to me, Jiro?" Sai asked as the void around him changed. His words echoed into nothingness.

The room became still. Sai was now standing in a small apartment bedroom. Both Jiro and Kaito hugged passionately as tears flowed down their eyes. "Please. Just run away with me, Jiro."

"I've already made up my mind. You love your family and this village. You can't leave those behind just for me." Jiro rubbed Kaito's back to comfort him, but it was useless. "If it were a different reality, we would have been together."

Kaito broke out of the embrace. "Why can't it be this reality? I don't want to marry Mei; I want to marry you."

"We just can't be together! You can't rebel against your family! I know it's what's best." Jiro said with finality. His firmness finally breaking through to Kaito. The normally bright and talkative Ninja stood there speechless. Jiro sat down on his bed in defeat. "I'm not worth ruining everything good in your life. Please. Just marry Mei."

Flash. Sai let the environment change, this time awaiting the next events.

He turned to see a village in celebration of what appeared to be a wedding. At the altar stood a beautiful woman with silky blonde hair and across her was Kaito. Beneath his smiles showed bags of despair. He opened a letter as all the eyes in the room were on him. He began reciting his vows. The words seemingly coming from the heart, but not for the woman standing in front of him. As he uttered his last word, something itched at his attention. He looked into the crowd and down the aisle. Just then, he caught a glimpse of brown hair from outside. It suddenly became clear. Jiro was perched outside, staring through the church window.

Had Jiro come to stop it? Sai thought.

Kaito stood in shock and his face unknowingly smiled brighter than he had in days.

The audience applauded at the finished vows. But Kaito's expression and pose remained strangely frozen in time. Sai couldn't feel his chakra here but elsewhere. Then suddenly—Poof. Kaito was gone. The crowd gasped. As everyone panicked, Sai ran outside. He found the partners in crime fleeing, already far off into the distance. They held each other's hand as they continued forward together into the unknown, never looking back.

The flash of white slowly faded into black.

Sai woke up in his hotel room to a throbbing pain in his temples. As he sat up and looked around the room his vision blurred the walls together. Pulling the covers off his body, the cold air engulfed the sweat on his skin. He put two feet on the ground and paced himself as he stood up. After a few short breaths, he stumbled over to the kitchen countertop where he poured himself a glass of water from the sink. He chugged it down.

After a moment he looked off into the darkness.

He went to his bedroom and grabbed his journal and pencil. He began to free-write his scrambled thoughts.

"Hungover"

This is the first time I have experienced the term "Hungover".

I remembered the first shot of Soju and nothing else after. Perhaps I had drank more.

I do remember being put in a genjutsu by an elderly stranger.

We talked about love and fate. But I cannot recall the details.

I don't know why I was put in a genjutsu.

I don't know why I was offered Soju.

I don't know why I drank it.

I don't know how I got here.

Sai laid back down in bed and closed his eyes for a moment. Maybe this was all just a dream. That would explain the walls behaving like an optical illusion and the holes in his memory. Yet, he had control over his conscience and it told him that it had to be reality, despite its absurdity. Opening his eyes, he looked to his bedside table to find a note on a napkin from the tavern.

Sai,

I hope you know that fate doesn't exist. You have to make it yourself.

Safe travels,

Jiro

He re-read the note a few times. Then let it fall softly over his eyes.

"I think I've lost it."


Isn't Sai such an Icon? Let me know what you think! Thank you for reading :)