Gilead – One Shot
A/N: Now that NCIS-LA is done, we can look back and fix some things that were broken – IMO. In the aftermath of Siderov, Deeks is in the bull pen packing up some things to take home. Kensi approaches and they start to talk. What starts as a beautiful scene turns into one of the worst I've ever seen on TV! Let's fix it, shall we?
I know, this takes more time than Deeks/Kensi are allotted. Well, if I were running things . . .
There is a balm in Gilead,
To make the wounded whole.
re is a balm in Gilead,
To heal the struck down soul. *
Deeks is into recovery time from the torture he survived at the hands of Isaak Siderov and his associate. He has come into the mission to gather some of his personal things; he wants (needs?) them at home with him during this trying time. He hopes they will help; it's been rough so far. The dental repair is progressing satisfactorily, it's going to be a long road.
Emotionally he is a wreck. He is seeing a counselor periodically, not as often as she recommends. He just doesn't like talking about it with a 'stranger'. Something, somebody, is missing.
"Hey, Deeks!" He hears the soft voice of his partner as she enters the bull pen. She stops a few feet away and smiles at him. "How are you feeling? I've been thinking about you. What can I do to help, partner?"
He stops what he's doing and raises his head to look at her. The dejected look on his face is enough to crush most anyone; Kensi, however, tries her best not to react, hoping to be supportive in some small way.
"You have helped Kens, I was wanting to talk with you about that," he almost whispers in a small voice. "Do you think we could-
"Deeks! Great to see you, man. How's it going?" Sam exclaims from the doorway next to Kensi as he tosses a pair of 'choppers' to Deeks. The teeth are chattering as they fly through the air. Deeks makes no effort to catch them as they land at his feet. As they skid to a stop, he gently kicks them back in Sam's direction. Kensi winces, almost shedding a tear.
Callen is standing next to Sam, looking on. He opens his mouth in a wide grin, exposing a fake pair of fangs. "How are the visits to the dentist going?" G asks, grinning.
Deeks turns around, his head hanging down to his chest. He rubs his hands down his face. He slumps to a seat, resting against a wall.
"We're going out for drinks; do you want to join us? Kens? Deeks?" G inquires. He looks questioningly at the junior partners.
Kensi glares at him, then walks over to her partner. She crouches down, placing her arm across his shoulders. "Are you up for that, Deeks?" She softly asks.
He whispers to her, "I was hoping we could talk. You and I. But you can go ahead; I'll be ok, partner."
"No, I won't go w/o you." She gets to her feet and walks over to Sam and Callen. She glares at them, "You go ahead, I'm going to talk with my partner. He needs me right now. As far as you are concerned, get your fangs and choppers out of my sight before I shove the down your throats! Is that clear?"
They glare right back, turn on their heels and leave.
Kensi helps Deeks to his feet; he grabs his box of personal items and they walk to her SRX. After placing his box on the back seat, he slips into the front passenger seat and buckles up. She slips into the driver's seat, starts the car and drives to his apartment. The drive is very quiet.
She lets them in with the key Deeks gave her months ago for emergencies (like this!). He sets the box on his kitchen table, then turns to her. "Drinks?"
"Just water, please." She requests.
"Ok, I'll have the same plus some Advil." He grabs 2 waters from the fridge, the Advil bottle from the cupboard, and they migrate to the couch.
They sit in their usual spots, although closer than normal; shoulders and hips pressed against each other. The contact is reassuring to him. He needs this right now.
"Deeks, I want to help you through this, I really do." Kensi starts. "You said I have helped, I'm not sure what I've done. Can you share with me, so I have a clue how to help you going forward?"
Silence . . . he's thinking. He finally speaks, softly & slowly.
"Kens . . . when I was going through that . . . torture, I thought I was going to die. Hell, there was a time I wished for that." He starts shedding tears – so does she. He continues, "then I thought of you; your smile, your laugh, your eyes, everything. You called me back from the edge. You got me through that time; you were the light at the end of that long, dark tunnel. Just by being you. Kens, don't stop being you, please! I need you!" He bends forward, his elbows on his knees with his face in his hands.
Kensi bends over him, slowly rubbing circles on his back. She places a soft kiss between his shoulder blades. "I've got you. I'll keep being me for a long as you need me. I'm not going anywhere, partner." She lays her head lightly on his back. "How about a movie?" She suggests.
"Sure, Rose & Jack." He smirks.
"What? Titanic?" She is incredulous!
"Yup! I want you comfy, so you'll stay."
"Bribery is a felony."
"Arrest me," he grins.
"I have cuffs in the car." She winks.
"I thought you might." He's feeling better already.
She gets up and puts Titanic in the DVR, but doesn't start it yet. "I'm going to the bathroom, be fight back."
"Ok, I'll be right back too." He slips into his bedroom and picks up a pillow and blanket. Then a quick bathroom stop. When she returns, he is arranging himself on the couch. He reclines . . . head on the pillow; she lays with her back to his chest, then covers them with the blanket. The movie starts; the sound is low, both of them can probably recite the dialog from memory (Kensi for sure). By the time Jack sinks out of sight, they are both asleep – his arms snugly around her.
02:00
Kensi slowly comes awake. She has a crick in her neck. She has slumped to the left so her head is threatening to fall off the couch. While attempting to straighten up, she wakes her partner.
"Hmpf, what's happening?" He groans.
"Sorry, just trying to straighten up."
"Oh, ok. What time is it?"
"2 AM," Kensi replies. "Maybe I should go home?"
"No, please stay." Deeks whispers.
"I don't know. What if –
"What if what?"
"Well, never mind. Though, my neck is killing me."
"Well, let's do the Justin & Melissa thing. Little Miss Starfish."
"The Warring's?"
"You remember!"
"Of course, I remember!"
"So?" He raises an eyebrow, questioningly.
"Can you behave, like you did then?"
"Promise."
"Ok, I'll hold you to that." She smiles.
They retreat to his bedroom; she gets the right side as expected. He spoons her, as expected. Deeks sleeps peacefully with his partner wrapped up in his arms. No nightmares for the 1st night since the torture.
He awakens to the aroma of coffee brewing. He slips on sweat pants and pads to the kitchen. He finds Kensi holding a carton of eggs, a puzzled expression on her face.
"Hey Fern, what are you up to?"
She turns and looks at him, "Well, I was trying to decide what to do with these eggs. Any requests?"
"Yeah, why don't you let me handle the eggs & bacon. You can do juice, table setting, coffee & toast. Sound like a plan?"
"I suppose. Teamwork, eh?"
"Exactly, partner!" He is relieved, that didn't turn into an argument.
MALIBU BEACH
After breakfast, they put on beach wear, collet Monty and head out for some time at, on, and in the ocean. Marty surfs for 2 hours; while Kensi reads, suns, swims & plays fetch with Monty. He then comes back and lays out on the blanket until the sun gets too warm for comfort; then they walk down the beach in search of some ice cream.
They find some, get a cone each and stroll back to their blanket. As they go with arms/hands swinging, their hands touch and clasp together. Deeks glances at Kensi and sees her smiling softly. He catches her eye and smiles back at her. His world seems to be stabilizing, he is grateful. He realizes that he has a long, winding road ahead. But with a committed, supportive partner, he now feels that the task is not impossible.
Except for a few hours each day doing personal errands, they spend the weekend together. They talk about what he experienced; Kensi always lets Deeks set the agenda and the pace. He is committed to not ignoring what happened; she is committed to supporting him in the ways that he is comfortable. When he slows and bogs down, she gently nudges him forward. He comes to recognize what she is doing when she does that; and he greatly appreciates it.
By the end of the weekend, he has agreed to a schedule of therapist visits. He will call Monday and get those appointments scheduled. She will come to him for supper Monday, and make sure he followed through & scheduled those visits. He promises not to whine about her following up on details they have agreed that she would follow up on. They both feel good about his progress.
She continues to do sleep-overs.
SUNDAY EVENING
BALM
Before they retire for the night, Marty sits in front of the couch with his legs stretched out before him. He motions for Kensi to come sit between his legs with her back to his chest; she does and relaxes back against him. He rests his chin on her shoulder and speaks. "I want to share something with you, Kens." He reaches for her hands; she willingly lets him grasp them and intertwine their fingers.
"Do you remember my 1st case with you and the team?"
"Yes, with Aubrey Darva, right?"
"Yes. Do you remember the club we visited?"
"Ah . . . yes, Balm. Wasn't it?"
"That's right. Well, I was reading the other day about some old hymns. A story just popped up on my newsfeed. One was about "A balm in Gilead." Gilead is a region in the middle east; where a certain tree grows, and the sap of that tree has some supposed healing properties and is highly prized. That got me to thinking. This weekend: our talks, your support, pushing me to utilize my therapist regularly and so forth . . . is like a healing BALM! I could not have made this progress without you, Kens. I don't know how to thank you, but I'm going to try."
Kensi turns around in his arms and looks into his cerulean blue eyes. "Marty, seeing you relaxed and enjoying life again is all the thanks I need. When we were at the beach yesterday, I could really see, and feel the difference in you. It makes me happy when you are happy. I can see my partner coming back to me. That's all I want."
"I appreciate that, and you so much, Kens. Thank you for standing by me!"
"Marty, you are totally worth it! You are very welcome."
She reaches up, clasps her hands behind his neck and gently pulls him down towards her. He doesn't resist, he wants this too. Their lips meet in a long, gentle kiss. They pull apart for air, then meet again with a little more passion. They part for a 2nd time, realizing that this can be the start of something very good. Taking it slow, respect at every stage, is likely to produce something beautiful.
With his partner's support, the future looks quite a bit brighter.
FINE
Adapted from the hymn "There is a balm in Gilead". This hymn can be found in many hymnals and gospel song books.
