Chapter 4:
Santana had made it out of the Pierce's house without a single kiss, with no inappropriate touching and no more physical contact than a very very tight hug and a hand squeeze.
She was both proud of herself and aching for more.
All that talk about being gay and sin had gotten to her and, whether she liked it or not, Santana couldn't deny being at least physically attracted to Brittany anymore. Did that make her gay?
But she liked guys. She had hooked up with Puck about a thousand times and once with Finn, and with a couple other guys from the football team too. And sure, they weren't as soft as Brittany, and the stuff they did hurt sometimes, and their grunts were weird and their sweat was a little gross, but they could still leave her… somewhat satisfied, right? Sometimes? So she couldn't be gay, right? At least not, you know, fully. Maybe she was like bi or something. But then again, wasn't it normal to experiment? Didn't everyone do that in college anyway? So, she just did it a little earlier, why was that a big deal?
Santana turned her head to the side, remembering the night before, when Brittany had laid beside her. She'd looked so adorable with her mouth open, with her legs tangled with Santana's and her hair all over her face. Ugh.
Not being able to fall asleep, Santana grabbed her phone and sent the text without thinking about it twice. U up?
Sure am ;) come on over
She hesitated, knowing deep down she didn't really want to go, but it felt like the right thing to do. The clock only said 9:30pm, so her mom should be okay with Santana going out for a little while, it was Friday after all. She changed out of her pyjamas and stood in front of the closet.
A dress? Would make it seem like she was trying too hard. She grabbed black skinny jeans, a skimpy red bra, and a white top, brushed her hair and dabbed on a little lipgloss, before leaving her room and texting on my way.
When the door opened, she was greeted by a whistle. Ew.
But Santana grinned and pushed past Puck into the house, determined to get what she came for. "Your parents home?" "Nope. Go right on through to my room." She did as told and put her phone down on Puck's desk. It was so extremely unused, all the books piled up on it were collecting dust. No wonder his grades were so truly horrible.
Santana felt hands grab her waist from behind and shuddered, playing it off as being turned on by the touch. "Hey baby," he whispered into the crook of her neck. Santana swallowed and turned around in his arms, "Hey." His lips barely even grazed hers before they went right down to her neck. He sucked, hard, obviously ambitious to mark what was his and roughly fondled her breasts through the top. "Let me take it off," Santana gently pushed him away and pulled off her shirt, leaving her in the red bra.
"Damn, you're so hot." Puck picked her up, cupping her ass and carried her to the bed, slowly dropping her onto his sheets. As always, they smelled of cheap deodorant, the kind teenage boys used to smell extra manly.
It was disgusting, but Santana just kept on pushing out little moans as he dove between her breasts, roughly removing the bra and jeans and started grinding into her. He didn't even notice the fingernail marks on her breast. Santana felt him through his boxer shorts and luckily, her body responded at least a little at the sensation. "Oh, so nice, baby." The words sounded shallow in her ears, but Puck bought it, like he'd done a hundred times before.
It took about ten minutes before he dropped down next to her, pulling his boxer shorts back onto his hips, exhaling loudly. "Damn, that was good." "So good." Santana held her breath.
"Did you come?" Puck rolled to the side and propped up his head with his left arm to look down at her naked body. She considered lying, but what was the point? "Not this time." "Aw, that sucks. You want me to touch you some more?"
Puck, ever the romantic. "That's okay. I'm gonna go," she sat up, fishing her bra from the dirty floor and hastily pulling on the rest of her clothes. "You know you can stay." She flashed him a quick smile, "Yeah, no, it's okay. I gotta… you know, get home or my mom will get mad." "Right." He watched her button her jeans, tie her shoes, and rush to the door. "You want me to walk you out?" Puck sucked in many ways, but he wasn't truly a bad guy.
Santana almost felt a tinge of guilt. "I'm fine. Bye." "Bye. Glad you came over."
She pulled the door closed behind her, ran to the front door and out on the street to her car.
She didn't make it inside before the tears started rolling.
"Hey!" Brittany greeted her with a hug, "come on in!" Santana stepped through the door and took off her shoes. "Santana! So nice to see you, we've been missing each other lately, thank god it's Sunday!" "Hi, Mrs. Pierce." She flashed one of her picture perfect smiles.
"Do you want some food?" "Oh no, that's okay. Thank you, though. I think Britts and I are gonna go upstairs, aren't we?" "Yep," Brittany confirmed and took Santana's hand to lead her up to her room. "Holler if you need something!" Mrs. Pierce's voice followed them, Brittany shut the door. "What do you wanna do, San?" Santana reached the bed and let herself fall back into the pillows. Her best friend always had a thousand of them all over her bed, since she liked burying herself underneath them whenever she was upset about something.
"Just… breathe for a sec," Santana huffed quietly. She could feel the mattress sag as Brittany sat down next to her. "Santana, are you okay?" She leaned over her to look at her face and brushed a couple stray hairs out of the way, "you look sad." Santana rolled over onto her stomach, away from the gentle fingers, her face pressing into a soft heart shaped pillow. "What's going on? Talk to me!" Normally, the worry in her voice would have motivated Santana to speak up, but she just felt so… tired. Empty.
She felt a cool hand sneak underneath her shirt, fingernails softly dragging up and down her bare back. Santana sighed. Brittany always knew exactly how to calm her down, it was amazing.
She enjoyed it for a few seconds, before finally sitting up to face her friend. Satisfied, Brittany crossed her legs, hands in her lap, waiting patiently for her to speak up.
"I don't even know, Britt. I feel really bad. I really think that maybe I should break up with Puck."
She saw her expression change immediately. "Did he do something?" Santana frowned, "What?"
"Did he hurt you?" Brittany reached out a hand and softly grazed her cheek. "Oh. No, he didn't. She pushed her face against the touch for a second and closed her eyes, enjoying the tender sensation, before leaning back against the headboard of the bed.
When she dropped her head back, Brittany gasped. "What?" Her eyes flew open to find her friend crawling closer on all fours, staring at her neck. Oh. That.
"San, that looks really painful. He did that… with his mouth?" "Yeah." "Was it like a… in the heat of passion thing? Did you like it? Because that honestly just looks like he punched you in the neck." It did look like that, it was an unusually large, very deep purple mark. And it did hurt.
"It's fine, he likes to do that sometimes." Brittany didn't like that reply. "Did you enjoy it?" "No."
Santana could feel a familiar stinging in her eyes and clenched her jaw. "Doesn't matter."
She could feel the blue eyes on her, studying her face and watching her hands fidget in her lap.
"Could you stop staring at me, Britt?" The blonde sat down next to her, shoulder to shoulder, and took her fidgeting hands into her own. "Honey, stop. You need to break up with him, I hate seeing you so sad, he's not good for you." "But… what about my social status?"
Brittany thought about it for a second, before saying, "Well, you're breaking up with him, isn't that a good thing? Like you've outgrown him?" Santana's head dropped to the right, onto the pale shoulder waiting there. "Then, who am I supposed to date?" Neither of them knew the answer.
They sat for a while, Brittany holding Santana's hands and softly stroking her thumbs over them, and Santana closed her eyes. She remembered the teeth in her skin, the grunts and the rough grinding, the pain between her legs, because she wasn't wet enough for what he was doing and he didn't have any lubricant. It's fine, she'd told him, feels good.
There was an angry ball of heat in her stomach, and the more she remembered, the hotter it grew.
Suddenly, so quickly that Brittany jumped a little, Santana jumped up from the bed and pulled out her phone. We're done, Puck. Sorry. I'm kind of bored, honestly. I need someone new.
He didn't answer and she didn't care. She threw her phone onto the carpet and started sobbing, her face buried in her hands. But not a second later, Brittany's arms were holding her, leading her over to the bed, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead softly, whispering "It's okay. It's gonna be okay. Don't worry." It didn't feel like it was going to be okay.
But she wrapped her legs around Brittany's waist and just let herself be rocked back and forth for a while, quietly crying and gasping for air every now and then.
When Santana woke up, the room had darkened a little. She looked over to the window and saw that it was painted in pink and orange shades. "Pretty, right? I took a picture."
Brittany was sitting on the foot of the bed, having obviously watched her sleep while scribbling something on her note pad. "Look!" She held it up.
It read Lord Tubbington thinks you are Purrrrfect. And so do I. with a heart around a bad drawing of the cat. "Aww." Santana sat up and grinned, as Brittany ripped it out and handed it to her. "Put it in your locker or something." She absolutely would.
"Thanks, Britt." The blonde got up to put her pad and crayon down on the desk and stretched. "I'm really hungry, do you want to get some food?" Santana nodded, she was starving herself.
They walked down the stairs to find the kitchen and living room empty. "Guess Mom left without telling me again," Brittany frowned. Santana consolingly touched her shoulder and walked over to the fridge. "Brittany, there is nothing in here." "Mhm." Long arms wrapped around Santana from behind and she let her head drop back against her friend's shoulder, exposing her neck perfectly for Brittany to see the dark hickey. If you could even call that monstrosity a hickey. Brittany did not like it at all. Puck was marking her like she was his property, like she was his. She lifted the bottom of Santana's T-shirt to slide a hand underneath and caressed her toned stomach. Santana sighed, completely melting in her friend's arms. "That feels so good." Brittany's breath quickened a little at how thick Santana's voice was. "Yeah?" She inched her hand a little higher, feeling goosebumps spread underneath her soft fingertips. Luckily, Santana was wearing a soft cotton bustier and Brittany could slip her hand right underneath. Santana sighed at the touch, leaning against Brittany's chest with all her weight. "Yeah." Suddenly, they heard the clicking sound of a door unlocking and jumped apart so fast, Brittany hit her elbow on the kitchen counter. "Ow!" "Brittany?" Her mom came around the corner, obviously just having left the bathroom right next to the kitchen. Shit. That could have gone very wrong.
"Brittany? You okay, honey?" "Fine, Mom, just bumped my elbow. I thought you were out." Mrs. Pierce looked at her daughter and her friend. They both looked a little disheveled and Santana's cheeks were bright red. "What's going on in here?" Brittany shook her head, feigning innocence, "What do you mean?" "You both look so… I don't know, did you exercise?"
"Mhm, no." Santana shook her head quickly, turning back to close the beeping fridge they'd let stand open for several minutes. "No, we were just surprised you were home," Brittany cleared her throat, "We- I mean, Santana was taking a nap earlier." "Oh, are you tired, honey? Do you want me to drive you home?" Santana looked at Brittany instead of replying. "No, Mom, that's okay. Can Santana sleep over? We have a free period tomorrow morning." Santana tried to hide her surprised smile with a cough, not very subtly. Mrs. Pierce, luckily, was not a very astute woman and nodded, "Sure."
They were laying next to each other under the covers, Brittany's right arm draped over Santana's chest, caressing her exposed left shoulder with the tip of her finger. "Brittany," Santana whispered into the comfortable silence. "Yeah?" "I don't think I want to hook up tonight."
Brittany's finger stopped moving and Santana bit her lip. "Is that okay?"
Silence. "Brittany?" "Of course it's okay, Santana, what do you mean? I didn't invite you to stay because I desperately need some sweet lady kisses, I just wanted to have a sleepover." Santana sighed, relaxing. "Okay." They were quiet for a little while, before Santana whispered again, "Brittany?" "Mhm?" "Could you-" she swallowed, "could you kiss me?"
Brittany propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at Santana's face. She looked scared, almost, as if she was expecting to be rejected. But Brittany watched her own finger slowly drag across Santana's jaw line before leaning down to plant a small kiss on her plump lips.
"Like that?" Her voice was so quiet, Santana almost didn't hear her. "Yeah." Brittany leaned in again. The sound of their lips pulling apart was the only thing filling the silence. After one more, Brittany laid back down, on her back this time, and turned of the light on her bedside table. She thought Santana had already fallen asleep, when she suddenly felt her roll over and place her head on Brittany's chest. Falling asleep to that wonderful vanilla smell and the sound of her best friend's heart was always Santana's favourite thing in the world.
Wet lips met her neck from behind - Santana flinched, recognising them immediately. "What the hell are you doing, Puckerman?"
He let go as she took a step away from him and turned around. "What?"
"I broke up with you, dimwit." Puck scoffed, "You can't dump me, babe, we weren't even in a committed relationship." He stretched the last two words, as if to symbolise that no one could ever tie him down.
"I told you we were done, that means hands off." Santana took a step backwards as Puck took one forward. She could see Brittany tense in the corner of her eye and shot her a small reassuring smile. I got this.
Puck's eyes followed where she was looking and took a step back again. "What," he laughed, "are you two dyking it up together now?" "Shut it, Puck," Brittany scoffed, a threatening undertone in her voice. Even Santana was surprised at that, Brittany wasn't usually one to defend herself.
"I'll take that as a yes then," he formed a piece sign with his finger and extended his tongue in between, earning himself a grossed out look by both girls, "hot. Very very hot. See you, lesbos." Santana closed her eyes for a second. Oh god.
"You okay?" "Yeah… No." Santana looked around. There was a scrawny freshman in the corner, organising his locker, but the rest of the hallway was empty. She put both hands on Brittany's shoulders, got up on her tiptoes and kissed her straight on the lips. "Santana-" Brittany looked around and noticed the freshman, "you know there's a kid right over there?" "And who would believe him? The two top cheerios making out in the halls? Yeah right, come here." She grabbed Brittany's face and kissed her again, poking her tongue against Brittany's closed lips until she opened up. There we go. Santana deepened the kiss and wrapped both arms around Brittany's neck. They kissed until they were out of breath, then Brittany took a step back. "Damn." Santana grinned at how swollen the blonde's lips were. "Yeah?" "Yeah."
They locked pinkies and continued down the hall to the choir room. "You know we're late," Brittany noted, as they were walking extremely slowly. "Well, I like to make an entrance."
When they pushed open the door, all heads turned. "There they are," Puck's voice boomed across the room. "Puck told us you guys were lesbians now!" Rachel blurted out. "Oh please," Santana scoffed, "he's just mad I dumped his ass." A general murmur of understanding filled the room, that made much more sense. But Rachel's awful voice was raised yet again, "So, it's not true?"
"Hells no!" Mercedes unintentionally came to their rescue, "come on, Berry, these two? They're way too hot to be gay. Plus," she lowered her voice a little as if Mr. Schue couldn't hear her then, "they've both done the entire football team. You really think two lesbians would be the biggest sluts at this school?"
Santana took a step forward, no doubt to go all Lima Heights on someone in this room, when Brittany caught her arm and pulled her down into an empty chair.
Santana gave the whole situation a minute or two to calm down, before carefully looking over her shoulder. Everybody had moved on to another topic, obviously convinced that Puck had just made it all up to defend his honour - which technically was what happened, at least in his eyes - but there was one pair of big green eyes that was still looking at her, studying her expression intently. Uh-oh. She turned back around and took a deep breath. No one knew. Almost no one. Thank god.
The hour went by quickly and, as usual, they got almost no work done.
"Why does Mr. Schue always wait until like a week before competition to pick out our songs?" Brittany whined, "we still have no idea what we're singing at Sectionals." "I don't know, Britt. To be fair though, we have like more than two months left, so he still has a chance to improve."
"Oh really? I thought it was the week after next." Santana shot her friend a confused look, but felt someone grab her arm before she could come up with an appropriate reply.
She spun around only to be met by bright green eyes boring into her own. Oh no.
"I need to talk to you." "To me or to Santana?" Brittany obviously had no idea what this was about. "Preferably both." Quinn spun around on her heel and walked off, expecting her friends to follow her. They made their way to the locker room - a good choice, since it was completely empty this time of day.
"Sit!" Quinn ordered and both girls slumped down onto the bench, their thighs touching. Quinn took note of that, so Santana put a few inches of space between her and Brittany and looked up at the blonde girl. The way she was standing looked ridiculous, she had both fists on her hips, like an angry mother who was just about to punish you for something.
"What's going on?" Brittany was genuinely confused, so Quinn's expression softened a little. "That's actually what I was just about to ask you two. What is going on?" "I have no idea what you're talking about." "Santana." "I don't! What, are you upset I dropped Puck? He's all yours, I don't want him anymore." "As you very well know, no, that's not what it's about. But, honestly, it's a good place to start." Quinn lowered her fists. "Why did you break up with him?" Santana tilted her head to the side in a quick motion, making her tight ponytail swing back and forth. "He wasn't satisfying me sexually," she said with a sultry voice. Quinn's eyes narrowed. "Come on, Santana!" "It's true, you see this?" Santana rubbed her hand over her neck to reveal the dark spot underneath her makeup and watched as the green eyes got bigger. "Ouch!" She leaned in a little to inspect the spot, "That actually does look painful." "Yeah, and not only that. He has no idea how to satisfy a girl, it's not even funny," Santana got up and pulled out her concealer as she spoke, "that boy grunts louder than two gay 60 year olds getting it on. Honestly, it didn't even feel like having sex, he just kept slamming into me and didn't even notice that every single one of my moans sounded more fake than Berry's when she tries to sing Britney Spears." Brittany giggled behind her. Santana spun around, still dabbing the makeup onto her neck with her extended middle finger, "Are we done here, Fabray?" "Actually, no." The head cheerleader got closer, basically trapping Santana between her body and the wall in her back, so she physically couldn't escape the next question.
"Are you dating Brittany?" She said it so quietly that Brittany couldn't hear it from her spot on the bench. But Santana had known it was coming, so she had her expression under control. Her voice, not so much. It came out a little shaky, when she spoke, just as quietly, "What the hell, Quinn? Of course not, Britt's my best friend. You know that." Not satisfied with the reply, the blonde turned around and now approached Brittany. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. Brittany was not a good liar. "Britt?" "Yeah?" Quinn leaned down to be on eye level with her friend, "Are you hooking up with Santana?" To Santana's surprise, Brittany's expression barely changed, only her eyes widened a little, as she looked past Quinn to her best friend. Santana barely moved, she only shook her head, once. "No." Proud, Santana shot her a quick smile and a thumbs up before Quinn could turn around. "Fine. I don't know if I believe you, because something is going on here. But I'll find out eventually." And with that, she left, leaving them behind in the locker room.
"Oh, baby, you did so good!" Santana grinned and hurried over to pull Brittany off the bench.
Oh god, she had called her baby. She usually only did that in bed, because it always made Brittany tremble beneath her. Things were getting a little too couple-y out here.
Sooo, I really like this chapter tbh. Someone told me that my punctuation made it kind of confusing to understand who's speaking, so I hope it's a little easier to grasp this time. English isn't my first language and the punctuation is a little different, which... no english teacher mentioned in high school for some reason, so I'm still getting used to it. i hope you like it!
