I kept messing around with this chapter, so I"m taking it away from myself and giving it to you.
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While Jay was downstairs cooling off, Will came up the stairs with Trudy.
"Doc here says we got two more…"
That sucked the air out of the room…20 kids.
"Shit…"
"Ya, 16 year old male was pronounced on scene, 17 year old female made it to the ER but was gone before we could even look at her. There's another 17 year old in the ER but it's only a matter of time."
They all knew the toll would hike up to 21 dead soon. None of the kids that came in OD'ing had survived.
"Jay around?"
He was worried about his brother. He knew this case was hitting Jay particularly hard.
Adam mumbled with exasperated petulance, "He's downstairs. He'll be back when he is done pouting."
He was confused by the attitude, "What?"
"Nothin…"
Jay walked in a moment later, hair still wet and bruised face flushed from the hot shower. His eyes lit up, as much as they could given the circumstances, when they landed on his brother.
"Hey Will…"
He knew Will was probably there to deliver bad news. His brother had taken to coming in person with any new information as a ruse to check on him, mother henning which Jay was actually grateful for. This case was really fucking him up and he was relieved to see him. He could use a dose of his brother's support.
As soon as Will saw Jay's face, he rushed forward, "Jay what the hell? What happened?"
His eyes continue to scan Jay looking for any other signs of injury beside what was showing on his face but stopped when Adam spilled the beans in disgust.
"That's what happens when you go in without back up."
"What?!"
Will noticed how frosty the room was and his dormant anger at Jay for his habitual recklessness, reared its ugly head, set free by his brother's new injuries.
"Are you kidding me? What were you thinking?"
He looked around the bullpen, "And the guy?"
Voight glared at his detective and wasn't able to keep even an ounce of his contempt for Jay out of his voice.
"He got away."
The case was taking its toll on Will also, he had pronounced half those kids, so he was probably not aware of the look of disgust he was giving his brother, "…the guy selling the bad dope?"
The heavy silence was his answer.
Taking a step back, he looked Jay over again with exasperation instead of worry. His words were caring but the sharp edge to them was anything but, "Are you hurt anywhere else, did you get checked out at the scene?"
He was going to go on but was stopped in his tracks by the hurt that flicked in Jay's eyes before he could lock it down again and pretend it didn't exist.
Taking a breath, Will realized that normally Hailey or Kim would tell him to back off or at the very least, give him a dirty look for coming at his injured brother in anger, or in less dire situations tease him about being a mother hen.
But he got none of that, so he looked at his little brother again, looked past the stoic mask and saw the pain Jay was in, not just physically but emotionally. He obviously wasn't getting any support from his team and then he came in and piled it on.
Jay turned away from Will's scrutiny, sat back down at his desk and lied to his brother, "I'm cleared, got checked at the scene" then logged into his computer and tuned out the entirety of the bullpen.
Will was a little bit at a loss. He was mad at Jay but felt bad for being a dick to him especially since he didn't know the whole story and it was obvious he wasn't the only one treating his little brother like shit.
"Jay?"
His eyes flashed to Will for a moment and then fell back to his monitor.
"I'm fine, leave it."
Voight busted up the angry awkwardness of the bullpen by thanking Will for the information.
"…Keep us in the loop."
With a lingering look at Jay and one last look around the bullpen Will headed back down the steps with a silent Trudy.
X
Jay was getting nowhere with his CI's just like the rest of them. There had been chatter in the bullpen, most of it dripping with frustration and even though he wasn't a part of the conversation the frustration had his name written all over it.
It took Voight and Hailey an hour to flip the perp, now known as Anthony Kennedy, that had tackled him down the steps.
Ready to move on the information, Voight stomped into the bullpen and without even looking at his detective, snarled, "Halstead you're benched." then continued on down the stairs with the rest of the team following in his wake.
X
When Voight benched him, he was pissed but not surprised. There wasn't really a whole lot he could do about it and at the moment he couldn't care less if the team believed him or not, he wasn't going to waste his energy on bullshit.
His only course of action right then was the pods, to widen the perimeter. The kid was his priority. He might have the information they needed and if that was the case there was a 100% chance he was in danger.
X
He didn't get any further than the break room when his headache spiked and the aches in his body followed.
"Goddamn it."
Even with the ibuprofen he'd already taken he still felt like shit. He took two more and, holding an ice pack to his chest, leaned against the counter staring into the empty bullpen. For twenty minutes he breathed through the pain, physical and emotional, and willed himself to feel better.
When he finally pulled it together, he tossed the ice pack in the freezer, grabbed some coffee and the bottle of pills, then headed downstairs holding the rail the entire way more determined than ever to bring Spencer down.
X
Jay had been scouring pod footage for two hours and getting nowhere. He needed more coffee and wanted more ibuprofen but knew he was already over the max and would have to bite the bullet for a few more hours.
Stiff and sore, he slowly made his way up the steps, hoping the team was still out and he could slide in, get his coffee and get back to his task without having to deal with them, but no such luck.
He could hear Adam as soon as he reached the top of the back stairs. He thought about retreating but needed coffee and truth be told, he just didn't want to take on the stairs again when he had just come up them.
Sighing, he leaned against the wall with his head down and hands in his pockets and waited for Adam to wrap it up. The last thing he wanting was to walk into the room in the middle of his rant and create another awkward moment the team couldn't afford right now.
X
Adam got off the phone, "Fucking Jay man…they pronounced that last kid. Three more kids are dead that wouldn't be if he just waited."
"Adam…" that was Hailey, "those kids would have still been dead. T.O.D on the male puts it about the time we were busting into the house…they'd already taken the drugs and who knows when they bought them."
Kevin was frustrated too, they all were, "More kids are gunna die though…just sayin."
Rethinking his plan to wait, afraid to hear anything else, anything Hailey might say, he made his presence known and went directly to the break room to start a new pot of coffee.
Jay could see the look of frustration on Hailey's face as he moved forward. She agreed - more kids would die and it would be his fault.
Or maybe he was just projecting his own thoughts again…probably, hopefully.
For a brief moment he caught Hailey's eyes and for the first time since they'd been partners he couldn't get a read on what she was thinking beyond the frustration. His eyes did a quick scan of the bullpen, then landed on Hailey again, her focus was back on her monitor.
He wasn't going to let them know how much it hurt that they didn't believe him but at this point, as much as he tried to hide it, they probably had a pretty good idea, especially after Will's visit. But none of that mattered. The focus needed to be on the case and addressing petty bullshit wasn't going to help them take down Spencer.
When Jay disappeared into the break room, the unit exchanged 'shit do you think he heard us' glances. But Adam didn't care and mumbled loud enough for them to hear, "Who the fuck cares."
X
Jay heard the door close behind him and setting the full mug of coffee on the counter, turned to his partner.
He couldn't help it, hated it, but there was a hint of desperation in his voice, "You believe me right? Hailey…you know I wouldn't go in without a legit reason…you know I wouldn't lie to you about this."
She took a big breath though her nose and released it. She didn't know what to believe. They'd both done stupid things before, both gone off half cocked, but not to this degree, not with deadly consequences and the promise of more death to come.
"Jay…"
She knew he was beside himself with this case, they all were, she was. But Billy was dead and it spurred every action she took to bring down Spencer.
Putting her hands on her hips, she dropped her head and tapped into what she believed…all she could see was Billy's big grin when he showed her the results of the math test she helped him study for, an A+. And Billy's death might have been, probably was, coloring her belief in her partner, but she couldn't help how she felt.
She raised her head, pulled her lips tight and looked between Jay's eyes, not into them and minutely shook her head.
He'd known Hailey's answer the second her hands touched her hips. She didn't mean to break his heart and he could see the reasoning for her belief; the case was horrible and Billy Rowe's had death crushed her, but still, her lack of trust cut him to the core.
Jay didn't fight her answer or try to convince her he could be trusted, he just shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor. He stood like that for a long moment. Then, without acknowledging his partner's continued presence, took his coffee and headed for the back stairs.
X
Pretending his conversation with Hailey didn't happen, Jay was an hour into clicking through pods, ready to expand the time frame not just the perimeter, when he saw a familiar car parked west of the house.
"Bingo."
Relieved they might finally be getting somewhere and could finally put this case to bed, he tagged the feed and packed up. He knew the information wouldn't get him off the hot seat, but he hoped it would at least get him off the bench…officially…Voight had another thing coming if he thought he'd actually sit this one out.
His body needed to get onboard though. Standing sent a wave of pain ricocheting through his entire being. Fists planted on the desk, he leaned over and waited for the spike of pain to subside. It didn't, not really but he slowly headed back to the bullpen anyway.
X
Discomfort, not pain, discomfort, pushed aside, he was at his desk clipping his gun to his belt when Voight came out of his office.
"Halstead."
"Got something on the pods, going to see a CI, he was in the area."
"You're benched. You wanna google that word and see what it means? Now sit your ass down and log what we have and give the info to someone else."
But he didn't sit down, he was going to work the case.
"I'm going to see my CI. He won't talk to anyone else."
"If you aren't going to follow my orders than you can go home."
Jay was angry, possibly desperate, barely suppressing his discomfort and had had enough, "Well, I'm not going to follow your fucking order. I'm going to nail Spencer's ass to the wall and seeing this CI might be the hammer."
Hank stared at him, knowing the rest of the team were on the sidelines watching.
"Go home."
"Fine. But first I'm going to see my CI. I'll let you know what I find out."
"My office."
He locked down any emotion and avoided the looks from the rest of the team. He didn't want to see what was going on in their minds.
Ignoring the request to close the door, Jay faced off against his boss, practically mirroring Voight's stance, legs slightly apart, arms crossed over his chest, chin raised in anger and in Jay's case, defiance.
"Look Halstead, I know you want to solve this. I know you feel guilty…" The brief flash in kid's eyes confirmed that statement, "But you walk out that door, you show up tomorrow in your blues. You'll be Platt's problem and no longer a member of Intelligence."
Jay didn't say anything, just kept his mask in place while inside he is reeling.
"Fine…I'll let you know what my CI says."
He left Voight's office without a second thought, swiped his phone and keys off his desk and headed out, ignoring the rest of the unit.
Adam caught him before he made it two feet down the hall, "Jay…"
He turned around in exasperation, "What?!"
"Hey man, sorry about that. What we…what I said. We're all just, you know…this is a shit case…and you going in…that was…" he sucked in a breath, "…well…what I said wasn't cool…"
Looking at the rest of the team, he could see they were riding on the coattails of Adam's back handed half assed apology.
He nodded and continued down the hall. He didn't have time for this shit.
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Okey dokey. Stay safe peeps. See you on Thursday! Big smooch!
