With Dick, Damian, Jason, Tim, Stephanie, and Cass all living elsewhere, Bruce and I were the only ones patrolling Gotham. Though we didn't work together often, we typically talked on the phone once a week to exchange information on cases we were working on. The conversations were usually short and to-the-point. We never brought up anything personal except when he started to ask about Ricky. The first couple of times he asked, I assumed it was polite small talk, but the third time, I knew it wasn't. He was suspicious about him. I never asked why because I never saw a point. I figured if he had something specific to ask or tell me, he would.

Two nights ago, I was tired of patrolling alone, so I decided to cross the line into his side of town.


*Two Nights Ago*

In the distance, I saw him standing on the roof of the largest bank in Gotham. I went around the back of the building to climb up the fire escape. After getting to the roof, I approached him. He didn't turn around. I wondered if he knew I was there. Back when we patrolled with everyone else, we had bets to see who could sneak up on him. Nobody had won yet.

From about five feet behind him, I softly said, "Boo!"

He jumped ever so slightly and quickly turned around.

" Did I just sneak up on you?" I asked.

"What are you doing here?" he asked plainly.

"Oh my god. I did it. I won." I grinned. He did not respond or react. Approaching him slowly, I analyzed his body language and looked for any micro expressions on the bottom half of his face, but there was nothing to read. "So, how are you?" I asked cautiously.

"Fine. Are you here for a particular reason?" he responded, voice smooth and steady as ever.

"Just didn't want to patrol alone, I guess. Misery loves company, right?"

"Hm. How are you doing?"

"Fine. Been better."

The sound of sirens echoed off the buildings. Tuning into police radio, we got the exact coordinates of all the action. It was just a run-of-the-mill thief. Once the thief saw both of us, he immediately surrendered. The biggest situation we handled that night was stopping a drug deal. It surprised me that even though we hadn't trained together since I recovered from paralysis 6 years ago, our moves were still so in sync.

I liked patrolling with Barbara, but like Dick, Tim, and Stephanie, she was a distraction, trying to engage in conversation not related to the case.

After patrol, around 2am, we found ourselves at the cave with some whiskey, looking at old cases that were no longer relevant but were still unsolved.

"Oh, she definitely killed him," Barbara said nonchalantly.

"I don't think so."

"What are you basing that off of?"

"What are you basing your claim off of?"

"Touché."

I grabbed her glass and put both of ours aside.

"We should probably get some sleep ," she said.

"The guest room is where you left it."

"It's 3 in the morning. Are you not going to sleep?"

"I'll take a nap in the afternoon."

"Do you ever sleep?"

"Do you?"

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. "So, what happened with Selina?"

I pursed my lips. I had made it clear for weeks that I didn't want to talk about Selina, but clearly, she didn't care.

"I won't go to sleep until you do," she responded confidently yet cautiously, tilting her head.

"Then you'll be awake indefinitely," I replied flatly.

"Oh, come on."

"She left. It's done. I've accepted it, and I'd prefer to not think about it."

"How did she leave?"

With dread, I glared at her, knowing she wasn't going to let this go. "Barb…"

"Yes?" She raised her eyebrows.

She was truly very stubborn. With a sigh of surrender, I pulled a drawer out from underneath the console, pulled out a letter, and handed it to her. I went through the letter in my head as she read it. I had read it more times than I cared to admit.

Bruce,

I'm sorry. Writing a note isn't how I would have preferred to do this, but I don't think I could do this in person. You are secretly and quietly the kindest man I have ever met. I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you, but I can't. I need someone to give me all of them, and I can't keep convincing myself that you're that someone. I'll always be second to the people of Gotham. It's a curse really: one of the reasons I love you the most is the exact reason I can't be with you. I'm not as selfless as you. Keep being Batman. Don't worry about where I am. I am safe. I don't know when we'll cross paths again, but I know we will. We always do. I love you, Bat.

Always,

Cat

"I'm sorry." She looked at me, her eyes filled with concern. "What do you think about it? About what she said?"

I weighed my options, feeling my chest constrict. This was the last thing I wanted to talk about. There was no reason to. The situation was what it was.

I shrugged. "I'm glad she realized it. I thought she understood before but... Gotham comes first."

"Would you take a step back to be with her? Just a little bit."

Looking back at the whiskey glass, I responded, "Probably not."

"Why? She makes you happy. She's not asking you to give it all up. She's just asking for a little more commitment."

"No."

"Oh, come on, Bruce. This current mindset, your mindset, of taking the blame for any bad thing that happens to anyone. It gets old. I mean, you don't still blame yourself for what happened to your parents, do you?"

"I don't need a therapist," I replied sharply and looked away from her, instantly feeling guilty for responding more intensely than I had intended.

"Sorry. I know it's not my place."

I clenched my jaw. "Why bring any of this up?"

"I just care about you I guess."

I felt her hand on my shoulder.

She took her hand back and directed her attention back towards the monitor, spacing out. I was suddenly reminded that she was going through a break-up too. However, I suspected hers was a lot different... I had to know. "Barbara, how bad were things with Ricky exactly?"

Her face remained unchanged as she continued to stare at the monitor, a strand of deep orange hair gently resting on her pale cheek. "What do you mean?" she mumbled.

I didn't respond.

"You know, don't you?" she asked, her voice still quiet.

I sighed. "I suspected."

"I'm fine. Let's look at some active cases, okay?"

"I know you're fine. That's not what I asked." Still, she was staring at the monitor, face unchanged.

" Not as bad as you're probably thinking. Okay?"

My eyebrows furrowed. I knew it wasn't my place, but I had been worried about her for a while. I had been looking for evidence, but she gave me nothing. I rolled my chair a little closer to her. Her eyes met mine.

"Past is past, Bruce. Why do you want to know?"

"The same reason you asked me about Selina. I care."

She turned her head away from me, presumably to avoid from me seeing the tears in her eyes. My chest felt heavy. "Barbara," I whispered. "I'm sorry."

She stood up, starting to walk towards the motorcycles.

I sighed. "You're right, you know."

She stopped. "About?"

"Everything you said about my mindset being what it is. I just... I'd rather... Gotham is more important." I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and stood up.

"I know."

We stood in silence for a few moments. Her back still facing me, I could tell she was looking at the floor.

I slowly approached her. "You don't have to tell me... But you can."

Without turning around, she began to answer my question. "He approached me, intimidated me. He said things… manipulated. I don't know. I didn't realize... He didn't beat me or anything. His frustration was probably justified some of the time. I get really caught up in my work." She paused. "Why did you suspect something?"

"You were different around him. The others noticed too. I only suspected why because I had seen it before, with Dr. Harleen Quinzel before she well... you know. And that one time a few months ago. Your wrist."

Barbara sighed, back still turned to me, voice quiet when she spoke. "I knew I was acting different, but in the moment, I just didn't understand why- why I lost my voice when I was with him and just... gave in. It's pathetic that it took me so long to realize that his behavior wasn't normal." She scoffed. "So pathetic."

"It wasn't your fault," I muttered.

She turned around. Instantly, her glossy eyes burnt a hole through my chest. I looked at her with sympathy, gently taking a strand of hair in front of her face and tucking it behind her ear. She wrapped her arms around me. I returned the hug.

"Can you promise me something?" she asked, voice muffled by my shirt.

She stepped away. "That you'll take a break and process what happened with Selina."

"Barbara, I am the last thing you should be concerned about," I said quietly.

It was only then that I registered how close she was to me. The energy in the room shifted. The air suddenly felt stifling. As she looked at me, I read something new in her eyes… I couldn't pinpoint exactly what that something was, but I could see that she was trying to read me too. Thing was, I didn't even know what I was feeling. The only thing I could see was the sadness and hurt behind her straight face. Feeling her breath gently hit my face, I realized she was even closer, her face only a few inches away. I suddenly became light-headed. It wasn't until she placed her lips softly on mine that I registered what was happening. I could see where this was going, yet I couldn't bring myself to move. Hesitating, she placed her hands on my chest. I reacted instinctively, placing mine gently around her waist. She leaned into me. I could feel her heart racing against mine. Why am I not pulling away?

Warmth spread through my body, numbing the physical and emotional pain I forgot had been there. She wrapped her arms behind my neck, pulling slightly, as she stood on the balls of her feet. The more we leaned into each other, the more weight she put onto me, the lighter I became. Our faces pulled away for a few seconds. Her eyes looked as I imagined mine did… glossy, hesitant, and filled with confusion, trust, and that new thing, which I realized was desire.

A soft moan escaped from her lips as my hands explored and traced every curve on her body, her soft skin a little cold to the touch. I pulled the sheets farther up over us. Before placing my lips back on hers, I caught another glimpse of her eyes, still strikingly blue even with the only light coming from the full moon outside the window. I couldn't even remember how we got to my bedroom. Her nails gently ran down my back as I moved my lips to her neck.

Eventually, we found ourselves on our backs, breathless. She rolled into me, resting her head on my shoulder and her hand on my chest. I wrapped an arm around her waist. As she exhaled, she closed her eyes. I kissed her head before letting sleep claim me as well.

Waking up, it took me a second to register what had happened. Images of this morning's events passed through my head in a blur. I turned my head. The sunlight illuminated her red hair sprawled across her pillow, making it look like it was on fire. She was awake and staring at the ceiling. It was then I realized the gravity of what I'd done.

We were both vulnerable. It was 4am. Neither of us were thinking clearly… or thinking at all about what this would mean. Maybe we could just forget about all of this, move on, act like it never happened.

"Hi," she said softly as she turned her head towards me after noticing I was awake. She gave me a small smile.

"Hi."

Judging by her facial expression, I could only assume that she shared my confusion and was also thinking through all the ways this could complicate things.

She cursed under her breath as she glanced at the clock. Jumping out of bed, she pulled one of the sheets with her. While putting on her clothes, she said, "I have to be downtown in 20 minutes for a meeting with my lawyer. I'll… see you soon." She walked to the door. "Call me if, well, when something happens tonight."

I nodded as the door shut. After she left, I glanced at my phone and saw it was 12:09pm. I had two missed calls: one from a random number and another from Dick. Gravity weighed me down even more. What the hell have I done?


*Present Day*

The ride to the batcave was painfully quiet until the tires squealed as they came to a stop. Stepping out of the car, I followed Bruce. Quickly and without any words spoken, we threw our cowls on a table and each took a few vials to start testing. Half an hour later, we both had findings to share.

"The riddle was written with phosphorescent powder. The victim was Michael Hobbs. In the evenings, he worked as a janitor in that office building, and during the day, he worked at a farmer's market down the street from there. No criminal record," I stated.

"Samples from the victim indicate high levels of glucose and insulin but otherwise appeared to be normal. The riddle... 'something sweet until burned.' Any connections come to mind?"

I sighed. "I don't know. Um, it's the holiday season. More sweets around... What big events does Gotham have coming up?"

Standing behind Bruce, I watched as he pulled up the Gotham Gazette's event calendar.

I plopped in a chair next to him. Holiday Parade, Santa's Workshop, The Local Elf Festival, Annual Holiday Charity Gala… "Aw, damn. The gala is tomorrow?" I complained then shook my head. "Whatever. Anyway, maybe something will go down during one of these events. Anyone who leaves this many clues would not be after a small audience. Are you sure it's not Nygma?"

"I went there tonight to make sure. It's not him."

"Then… a fan?"

Bruce shrugged. "Regardless, you're right. It's likely something will happen during one of these events."

"As if the holidays aren't hard enough," I mumbled.

More silence. Bruce rubbed his eyes and sighed. Blood glistened from under his arm and dripped onto the chair.

"You're bleeding."

Bruce shrugged.

"You probably need stitches."

"Not necessary," he stated.

"Stop being stubborn."

"I just…"

"Are stubborn."

Bruce shot me a glare but pulled his shirt off and followed me to the medical supplies anyway. I rolled my eyes.

He grit his teeth as I carefully wiped the surrounding area of the knife wound with a cleaning solution. One of my hands laid softly on his shoulder as my other hand worked the needle. I tied the thread and cut off the excess. With the extra thread and needle in one hand, my other hand, which was still on his shoulder, slowly slid down his arm, feeling every muscle. I shook my head and quickly pulled my wandering hand away. I glanced at his face to see if he noticed as I walked to the sink. He definitely noticed. He had one raised eyebrow and cautious eyes. I washed my hands a little longer than usual waiting for my blush to reside, wondering, once again, what the hell was wrong with me.

"Thanks." I heard him mumble.

I followed him back to the main part of the cave and was about to sling one leg around my motorcycle when I heard Bruce say, "Barbara, it's almost 4:30am. Just stay in the guest room."

Hesitating, I stepped back from my motorcycle. He was right. That made more sense. Making my way to the stairs to enter Wayne Manor, I muttered, "Get at least a few hours of sleep."

Bruce nodded but continued to type.