Moiraine and Lan have some time alone.
Moiraine shivered when the protection weave sank into her, wrapping around her brain. At least for tonight, she would be safe from a possible attack from Lanfear. And it also meant that Lan could rest instead of watching her. Siuan had been right – she never liked it when Lan didn't get any sleep because of her.
"How do you feel?" Siuan asked.
The woman of the Blue Ajah shrugged her shoulder. "I feel your weave, but other than that I don't feel a difference."
"Good." The woman of Tear nodded. "I wove a tight net, so it should be impossible for the Forsaken to get to you tonight."
"Thank you."
Smiling, Siuan leaned forward and captured her lips in a heated kiss until Lan cleared his throat, pulling the two needy women back to reality. "Right now, I would love to throw out your Warder," the Amyrlin whispered against the Aes Sedai's lips. "Maybe he can check on the horses?"
Lan's growl made Siuan laugh. "Breathe, lionfish. I'm joking." Then she leaned in on Moiraine. "Well, almost," she whispered so quietly only the Cairhien woman could hear her.
"Siuan-" The Aes Sedai tried to defend her Warder, but the Amyrlin stole one last kiss from her lover, then stepped back finally. She held up her hands to control her temptation to touch Moiraine.
"All right. I leave now." She turned to Lan and pointed one finger at him. "I trust you that she will sleep peacefully tonight."
"You can count on me."
Content, Siuan nodded, then lifted the privacy shield on the room and opened the door. "Good night, you two."
"Good night, Siuan."
"Mother." Lan bowed, then the door closed behind the Amyrlin.
Moiraine almost laughed when she saw the tension leaving Lan's body. Being with a needy Siuan and Moiraine in the same room was obviously terribly uncomfortable for the uncrowned king of Malkier.
The Aes Sedai went to her poor Warder, rubbing her hands soothingly over his back. "How are you doing?"
Lan sighed, then rubbed his face. "I should have stayed outside."
"I'm sorry we made the situation uncomfortable."
Lan chuckled, turning around and pulling Moiraine into his arms. "Don't worry about me. I'm glad you two could have a moment together."
Relieved, the Aes Sedai snuggled closer against her Warder. She was still exhausted and Lan's embrace felt so good that she didn't want it to end.
"Let's get you ready for bed."
"One minute," Moiraine mumbled.
Chuckling, the uncrowned king of Malkier pressed a kiss on her hair. "You need sleep, Moiraine."
"Five minutes."
"Well, in that case…." Moiraine groaned when Lan moved, then shrieked when he suddenly lifted her into the air. Automatically, her hands rearranged around his neck. Then she threw a reproachful look at him, which didn't bother the man. "Like it or not, but you need sleep, Moiraine."
Grumbling, the Cairhien woman placed her head in the crook of the Malkieri's neck. "I was doing just fine. Besides I asked for one minute, not an hour."
"Your minute expanded very quickly to five," Lan reminded her, then placed her on the small bed.
"Lan-" But instead of answering her, the uncrowned king of Malkier moved on to her feet, taking off her boots. "Can you please-?"
"Undress while I prepare some water."
"Lan!"
The Warder went to the small table with the water can to pour some of the liquid into the water basin. It was cold, but it would do for a quick wash.
"Lan." The woman of the Blue Ajah followed the uncrowned king of Malkier barefooted and wrapped her arms around him from behind. "Forget the water."
Lan sighed heavily at her stubbornness. "You are terrible." When he faced her, his hands pulled at her tunic, pulling it out of her pants.
Gently, Moiraine placed her hands on his to stop him. "Can we please forget about me sleeping? All I need right now, is for you to hold me."
A smile appeared on Lan's face, and he leaned in on her, pressing his forehead against his bondholder's. Lovingly, Moiraine cupped his face, enjoying the close contact.
"And I will do that gladly, but first…" He didn't even need to look at what he was doing. His fingers opened her tunic easily before moving on to the buttons of her pants. Lan had helped her undress countless times over the years, and his fingers knew her clothes as well as every curve and scar of her body.
Frustrated, the Aes Sedai sighed when she realized her Warder wouldn't stop until she stood bare before him. He pushed her pants over her hips, helping her to step out of them, then brushed the tunic off her shoulders.
Moiraine shivered when the cold air hit her. The only fabric left was her underwear. Lan kissed her cheek when she wrapped her arms around her bare chest to keep some of her warmth. "I'll be quick."
Then, his eyes fell on the golden necklace. Her Aes Sedai ring and the signet ring of Malkier lay between her breasts. Automatically, Lan's hand reached out and grabbed both rings.
Carefully, Moiraine watched her Warder's reaction. Would he be pissed that she wore his ring without his permission? But Lan was lost in his thoughts, his fingers playing with the jewelry.
"I should have returned the ring to you when I sent you away with Alanna," she whispered.
Anger moved over the Warder's face, but it was gone in a moment and replaced by a furrow on his forehead. "Why should you return it?" His voice was calm.
"It's yours, and I had no right to keep it."
"Honestly, I forgot you still had it. I haven't thought about the ring in a very long time."
"You asked me to keep it safe," Moiraine reminded him.
Lan smiled at her words, then his eyes finally found her. "And you did. You still have it."
The Aes Sedai copied his smile. But when she reached for the rings, Lan's free arm sneaked around her waist, pulling her close, and he leaned his forehead against hers so their breaths mingled. "And I have no doubt, you will continue to keep it safe until I need it."
A relieved sigh escaped Moiraine's lips when Lan pressed his lips on her cheek and she threw her arms around his neck to hold him close to her.
The uncrowned king of Malkier chuckled at her reaction, pressing her naked frame even closer against him. His mouth left a trail of soft kisses over her jawline, her throat, and down to the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent.
When Moiraine started to shiver from his warm hands rubbing over her cool skin, a quiet laugh escaped Lan's lips. Gently, he pushed her off him. His eyes were glowing with love. "Now, I believe we talked about preparing you for bed."
The Cairhien woman didn't protest when the Malkieri started to wash her. The water was cold, but she saw how that simple task calmed the man. He loved taking care of her.
Once Lan was done, he placed a towel around her shoulders, then brought her nightgown and helped her into it. Afterward, he pulled the hairpins out of her hair before he grabbed the brush and brought order to her messy hair.
Moiraine closed her eyes, enjoying the soft movements. She remembered how content Lan had always felt through the bond whenever he brushed her hair in the past. His love for her had warmed every cell in her body, and it had made her happy to feel him being in such a good mood. Those calm and sweet moments had been so rare since their travels had seldom been quiet.
A single tear rolled over her cheek. Those moments were in the past. She couldn't feel Lan any longer through the bond and would never again. His feelings, his love for her, his entire warm presence, everything that she had gotten used to – it would all be a mystery to her for the rest of her life. Light, she missed feeling him!
"Did I hurt you?"
Blood and ashes! Did nothing slip that man?! "No." Quickly, Moiraine turned her head aside and brushed the tear away. She enjoyed Lan's handling of her hair and didn't want to hear him worrying.
But Lan wouldn't be Lan if he ignored a tear. Gently, he placed a finger under her chin and pulled her head in his direction until she had to look at him. Light! The worry hadn't just been audible in his voice! It also stood clearly in his eyes!
"What is it?" He asked softly.
The Aes Sedai opened her mouth, but no word crossed her lips. It was like her throat couldn't form the words. Frustrated, she shook her head, brushing Lan's hand away and stepping forward. She didn't want him to worry! What could she say that would calm him?
Suddenly, Lan's arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her back against him. In the next moment, she felt him burying his nose within her dark locks – his warm breath moving over her skin before he pressed light kisses behind her ear.
Moiraine's legs started to tremble, and her throat became tight. Her fingers dug into his arms, pressing them closer to her. She didn't want him to let go. She wanted her Warder! She wanted their bond back!
When the first sob crossed the Cairhien woman's lips, the Malkieri placed the brush on the table, then lifted the woman into his arms and carried her back to the bed. Not once did he ask what was upsetting her or complain about her tight grip on him.
Gently, Lan placed her on the mattress, sitting beside her. While she cried against his chest, her Warder untied his belt, sword belt, and arm wrist, then took off his boots. It must have been terribly uncomfortable, but Lan didn't complain or ask her to let go.
Quietly, he made himself comfortable on the bed, arranging Moiraine so she was lying directly beside him, then covered them with the blanket.
Moiraine couldn't say how long they lay like that. One of Lan's hands rubbed soothingly over her back while the other stroked her hair gently. And even after her tears had dried, Lan didn't stop his movements or ask to leave the bed. He simply stayed by her side.
When the Aes Sedai was close to falling asleep, her Warder finally spoke. "Did I say something wrong?"
The woman of the Blue Ajah shook her head. Blood and ashes! Now, Lan thought it had been his fault!
"Was it something I did? Did I overstep a line or-?"
"No." Her voice sounded raspy after all those tears, but she grabbed his arm to catch his attention and was able to lift her head – looking him straight in the face. "You did nothing wrong."
She couldn't let him believe he had done something wrong. Light, she had to explain the weird situation somehow!
"I…." Her voice broke. Well, let's start with simple facts. "I enjoyed what you did."
Relief moved over Lan's face at her words. Good! Smiling, the Cairhien woman cupped his cheek and stroked it with her thumb. "I've always enjoyed when you brushed my hair – or helped me get dressed or cleaned up."
The uncrowned king of Malkier brushed a loose lock out of her face. "But?"
Moiraine lowered her eyes to his chest. "My thoughts." Although she didn't look at him, she could sense his confusion. Lan had been in her head for over twenty years. He knew her thoughts were continuously running, but usually, her thinking didn't end in tears. "My thoughts took a… dangerous path."
"What were you thinking about?"
The Aes Sedai opened her mouth, but it refused to move. Light, she needed to explain that! Frustrated, she took a deep breath. "Our bond."
"Oh, Moiraine."
New tears built up in Moiraine's eyes when Lan pulled her head back on his chest, pressing his lips against her forehead, then wrapping his arms around her.
"I would do anything to get you back," the Malkieri whispered. "Anything."
The woman of the Blue Ajah grabbed his tunic, inhaling his scent to fight down the tears. How could her body produce new tears? Hadn't she shed enough?
"For months, there is a big hole in my head where you used to be, and it just doesn't feel right. I miss your presence, feelings, and your running thoughts." Lan pressed another kiss on her forehead. "I want to send you through the bond how much you mean to me – how much I love to be your Warder. I want you to feel all that because I'm terrible at expressing my feelings out loud."
Moiraine chuckled at his words. "We both are terrible at that." She felt Lan smile on her forehead.
"That's true."
They fell silent – simply lying there and enjoying each other's company. "I miss you," Moiraine admitted, her voice not much more than a whisper. "I want to feel you again."
"Maybe Siuan can help."
The Aes Sedai shook her head. As much as she loved her lover, her situation was hopeless. No one could help her. "I'm stilled, Lan. No one can undo that."
Lan's embrace tightened around her at her words. He didn't like that answer. "I refuse to give up. There must be a way. Maybe Siuan can at least unmask our bond."
"Lan-"
"Please, Moiraine." The Aes Sedai felt terrible. Her Warder didn't beg. She couldn't remember if he had ever begged her for anything since she knew him. "Please, let her try."
Finally, the Cairhien woman nodded. She couldn't deny him that. And what was the worst thing that could happen? Siuan would try and fail, and then Moiraine and Lan had to live with the fact they would never get their bond back.
"Sleep," Lan said softly, kissing her hair. "I'll watch over you."
"You already didn't sleep last night."
"I remember."
"Siuan placed the protection shield on me. My dreams should be safe tonight. You don't have to watch me."
Lan chuckled. "Maybe I don't have to, but what if I want to?"
Moiraine lifted her head and looked at her smiling Warder. Light, she loved seeing him smile. "Sleep. I don't want you to stay awake all night when it is not necessary."
The uncrowned king of Malkier nodded. "I will sleep. But for now, I just want to watch you." When the Cairhien woman furrowed her forehead in confusion, he laughed. "I like watching you while you sleep, Moiraine." He brushed a loose lock behind her ear. "I love how peaceful you look. It's the time of the day when you can't put a mask on – the time of the day when I can see simply you."
Moiraine pressed a soft kiss on his palm. Who knew Lan could be that sentimental? "Promise me you won't stay up all night."
"I promise."
Relieved, Moiraine made herself comfortable again. She was tired but didn't want to let go off Lan. Siuan had been right. She liked to cuddle and could never resist when Siuan or Lan offered it. At the moment, her Warder hadn't offered it directly but had his arms wrapped around her and held her close. Wasn't that kind of an unspoken offer?
Lan ensured his bondholder was back snuggled up against him, then checked that the blanket covered her and would keep her warm.
"Will you stay with me?" Moiraine murmured, already drifting off to sleep.
The uncrowned king of Malkier kissed her forehead while his hand rubbed soothing circles on her back, knowing it would help her fall asleep. "I'm not going anywhere, my Aes Sedai."
"Good night, Lan."
"Good night, Moiraine."
Silence fell over the room while the rain kept hitting the roof. Fortunately, the sound didn't disturb the tired woman. The steady beating of Lan's heart, the warmth of his body, and the soothing movements of his hand on her back lured her into the darkness.
For months, she hadn't felt like herself anymore. Everything seemed dull since she had lost the ability to channel and the bond with Lan. She had pushed her Warder away, hoping Nynaeve could give him a new reason to continue with the mission instead of killing himself in the Blight.
But though she had hurt him badly – had treated him terribly and said mean things to him – that stubborn Malkieri found a way back into her life. He had worked together with Siuan to get to her.
Moiraine hadn't thought how much she would miss him once she had left him with Alanna. She had thought she was strong enough to continue the mission alone, but… slowly, everything had slipped out of her hands.
Her eyes and ears belonged to her little sister now. Lanfear had appeared, falling in love with Rand. Her nephew was a Darkfriend who had killed the queen. And now she was on the run again.
But this time, she had Lan by her side again. Her heart felt lighter since he had rescued her from Barthanes' sword in the Sun Palace. Everything seemed easier again – even breathing.
Moiraine knew she could never send him away again. Her and Lan's lives were connected forever – with and without the bond. He was her soulmate, and her heart wouldn't survive losing him a second time.
Subconsciously, the Aes Sedai grabbed the tunic of her Warder tighter. Then, she finally gave in to sleep.
This is the last chapter of this story and the last story for this year. I will return next year.
Thank you for reading and leaving your reviews on my stories this year. I appreciate them very much.
I wish you a wonderful Christmas time with your family and loved ones and a happy New Year.
