Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Naruto raked his fingers through his hair, yawning so hard his jaw cracked as he stumbled down the dark hallway. The knocking had started out somewhat gentle; he had thought it was for the apartment next door. But now it had turned more insistent, and his slurred requests to "hold onto your panties, I'm comin'," were making no difference in their increasing volume.

He tripped on no less than three mysterious piles of crap while meandering toward the irritating guest. Swearing louder with each collision. The last one must have been the bag of dull kunai his lazy ass was supposed to take to the blacksmith to get sharpened. His toe slammed into the immobile lump with a loud crack. But not louder than his own yell.

"Fuck!" he howled, eyes watering, limping dramatically the last few steps to the door. The door which was now rattling on its hinges while the handle was being jiggled aggressively.

"Kami-dammit! Gimme one motherfucking minute—"

His more creative obscenities were cut off before he could reach the entrance when the door flew open and a blast of frigid winter air blew into the apartment. He gasped as the icy wind turned his nipples into icicles and his balls crawled up into his belly. The tears of pain that streaked across his cheeks practically froze to his face.

Naruto was about to unleash a tirade of righteous indignation loud enough to get him fined by the landlord –again– but the words died on his lips at the sight of the unholy apparition which now loomed in his tiny genkan. Instead of some grumpy ANBU or drunk passerby, two frosty white glowing orbs hovered ominously in the doorway.

His heart tripped over itself and adrenaline instantly burned away any vestiges of sleep. What the fuck is that?!

"Why?" a soft, high, voice hissed. Naruto shivered, not entirely from the cold. Was this a dream? Was he sleepwalking? The eyes shifted, drifting closer. A shadowy figure emerged from the night, a silhouette even darker than the moonless sky.

"Why, Naruto-kun?" the voice demanded again, creeping further into his home. Snakelike shadows danced about its head as the two glowing orbs throbbed like demonic eyeballs. "Why did you do that to me?"

His mind raced as a cold sweat broke out over his tense body, making his flesh erupt into goosebumps. By now he had pinched himself up and down both arms and yanked out no less than twenty hairs, but still this nightmare continued to invade his awareness.

Was it a ghost? The restless spirit of some defeated enemy come back to haunt him?! He had heard that the owner of the old market had passed away recently. That old bat had hated his guts, hero status be damned. She'd never forgiven him for the pranks he had pulled as a child…

The figure was stalking towards him now, deftly dancing around every obstacle in his cluttered apartment as if it could see through walls. Moving with the darkness. Maybe it was the darkness?!

"S-stay away!" Naruto yelped, pressing himself into the wall as his hand fumbled for the light switch. Ghosts hated the light right? "I don't know what business you have with me, but you can just go haunt someone else! Teme lives three blocks west of here, he's done way worse shit than me!"

The looming form's eyes narrowed, their ethereal glow intensifying. "And why would I do that, Naruto-kun?" The terrifyingly sweet voice asked, its tone dripping with malicious innocence, as it slammed the door shut without ever breaking eye contact. "You are the only one I want." The apparition was so close he could practically feel the air thickening between them.

Kami-damn his missing hand! The stump was useless as his only hand fumbled desperately along the wall, unable to find the light switch, unable to think, unable to look away from those mysterious eyes. He was transfixed and terrified. The cold breaths of its deathly lips fanned across his cheeks. He whimpered. This was it. This was how he died. Not in battle. But in a puddle of boneless goo between piles of empty ramen cups.

Fingers brushed past his face and he twisted his head away, flinching at the bloodless chill of their touch. The wooden panels scraped against his temple as he squeezed his eyes shut. Braced for the end. Would it suck his soul out of his mouth? Guzzle his blood from his neck? Tear out his heart with its bare–

CLICK.

Naruto yelped as the world went white.

Nothing happened.

Peeking between his fingers, which he had reflexively used to protect his face from fathomless evil (because that made sense?)Naruto blinked rapidly as his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness.

Standing face to face with him was a very confused and very cold Hyūga Hinata, her slender finger pressed against the light switch next to his shoulder.

"Are you alright Naruto-kun? Why did you change the locks? I was freezing out there in the snow. Did you take a prank with Sasuke-kun too far again?"

"The-the locks? What…?" He rubbed his eyes and looked again as she raised her other hand and jingled a familiar looking set of keys with the frog key chain that he swore was supposed to be in the junk drawer in his kitchen.

"Yes! I had to break into my own home like a burglar. I know I'm a day late coming back from my mission, but I was at least hoping for a warmer greeting than this." Hinata laughed tiredly as her Byakugan faded away. Pressing a quick kiss to his cheek she picked her way back to genkan, sitting down with a deep sigh laced with exhaustion while unzipping tall high heeled boots.

What. The. Fuck?

Naruto's hand cupped his face where her chilly lips had brushed his whiskers. Not cold from being raised from the dead as a zombie to haunt him, but from the winter air that he now realized was dancing with fresh snow. He tried to replay her words over in his head, looking for any small iota of logic to explain why the hell the shy Hyūga princess was inviting herself into his crappy apartment in the middle of the night.

How does she have the keys to my house? What did she mean by 'You're the only one I want'? And why is she kissing me?

She seemed perfectly unbothered by the absolute irrationality of her bizarre visit. He had always thought Hinata was a bit weird, but in a harmlessly cute kinda way. This…this was really weird. Here she was at his apartment, in the middle of the night, calmly lining up her boots next to his like it was the most natural thing in the world. Even straightening them so they all stood in a neat row. Naruto blearily scratched the stump of his missing arm as she took off her backpack, hanging it up on the hook without a second glance, as though she had done it a thousand times before.

Maybe this was a trick after all. This was totally something Kiba would do, just to mess with him. Naruto pursed his lips in suspicion, watching for any tells as Hinata dug through her backpack, humming softly.

"I thought Team 8 was out on a recon mission to the Land of Waves?" he tested, intending to cross his arms authoritatively but forgetting –again– that one was missing. Trying to play off the awkward movement he cleared his throat and continued. "Tsunade baachan said it would take almost a month. What happened, did Dog Breath botch it up and you all got sent home early?"

Expecting an eruption of indignation from the henged Inuzuka whom he assumed was trying to prank him, Naruto was only further confused when Hinata just glanced up with a single raised eyebrow.

"Kiba-kun? No, he was fine. We did have a run in with an odd rogue nin. His jutsu was…different. But we were able to successfully complete the mission anyways." She turned to fully face him, resting a hand on her hip. "Besides, Tsunade-sama hasn't been the one assigning missions since the Rokudaime took over. Are you sure you're alright Honey? Where is your arm?"

"H-Honey?" Naruto shouted, his tough facade gone as his face flushed. He gaped at her patient expression. There was no way Kiba could say that with a straight face. "I lost my arm in the war, everyone knows that! And who the hell is the Roku…daime…"

His question died on his lips when Hinata casually reached up and pulled down the zipper of her shirt. "Oh my god," he whispered in awe. Since when did she have…where has she been hiding those…what is she doing?

Suddenly he forgot all about the keys, the late hour, and the odd nicknames. The gears in his head ground to an abrupt halt as Naruto paused long enough to really get a good look at this Hinata. Or whoever she was. He kinda didn't care at the moment.

Because Weird Hinata was a babe.

Since when did she no longer wear that big loose sweatshirt? The baggy pants were gone, and those long black stockings were practically showcasing her curvy legs. Were those shorts even practical? There's no way those pockets were functional. And her top was sleeveless? In this weather?

Weird Hinata noticed his gawking and merely smiled, the softest of blushes dusting her cheeks. Shrugging out of her top, she was left in a skin tight little tank that left almost nothing to his imagination. Which didn't stop it from working overtime to fill in all the blanks.

Naruto hadn't even realized his mouth was hanging open until she swept past him, chuckling easily as she pressed a slender finger to his chin and teasingly snapped his jaw shut. "I can't believe you still look at me like that after all these years. I was only gone for a week! You're such an endless flirt."

"M-me?" he croaked, his gaze dragging down her hourglass torso as she sauntered by with an exaggerated sway of the hips into his tiny kitchen. "You–you're the one who's–"

But she wasn't listening, instead this mysterious vixen of a Hinata flung the cupboard open and stuck her head inside, her mind-blowing perfect posterior dancing through the air as she rummaged through his ramen collection.

Wait, his ramen!

"Oi, oi! How did you know about my special stash?" he cried. Sprinting across the tiny living room he landed next to her, eyes bugging as she nonchalantly began picking out some of his rarest flavors. The ones he saved only for super special occasions.

"Oh wow!" she exclaimed, popping up from her deep dive into his precious treasure trove, brandishing a dusty styrofoam cup covered in bright red designs. "Where did you find more of this one? I thought they quit making it years ago!"

Naruto's face twisted as her eyes danced in pure joy over a particularly rare, extra spicy ramen that he had shoved into the furthest, darkest corner of the cupboard for a reason. It was said to be so inhumanely hot that one had to sign a waiver to purchase it. Rumor was it had even sent several people to the ER. He loved ramen, but he was not a masochist. That particular flavor was more of a trophy than a meal.

But Weird Hinata was acting like a kid on Christmas morning, eagerly tearing it open and inhaling deeply of the strong spices. "Oh my god this brings back such memories," she sighed dreamily. "Do you mind if I eat it right now? A hot cup of ramen sounds so good after traipsing through all that snow."

"Uh, I guess…" Barely had he muttered the words and she was whipping through his kitchen with the familiarity of a seasoned chef, pulling out the kettle and somehow easily locating a clean set of chopsticks in the mess of dirty dishes.

"Honestly Naruto-kun," she chided him as she filled the kettle with water. "I know you hate it when I have to leave, but did you really need to thrash the apartment like this in just a few days? It looks like you haven't cleaned this place in weeks." She turned and gave him a harmless scowl over her shoulder. There was no anger in her gaze, just teasing and scolding.

Naruto frowned and looked around. He guessed it wasn't exactly ready for company, but it had been a lot worse. He still wasn't used to functioning with only one arm. And without having figured out how to make kage bunshin with just one hand yet, household chores were even more tortuously tedious than ever. Tsunade baachan had promised him a new arm eventually, but the process was taking longer than expected.

"Oh I almost forgot!" Weird Hinata sprinted past him back to her bag, emerging a second later with a supply scroll in her hand. "I got you something," she declared proudly, holding out the scroll to him.

He blinked hesitantly but finally extended his hand, amused at the way she was practically dancing with excitement. Walking over to his tiny table he unrolled it and waved his hand over the seal. Prepared for any kind of random attack from this yet unvetted version of Hinata. But Naruto was surprised when just a simple cup of ramen popped into existence.

Leaning over he studied it with narrowed eyes, trying to see if this was a trap of some kind. Maybe it was poisoned? Or worse, laced with laxatives. He had done that to Choji once. Never again. Maybe it was Asuma's Team that was looking for revenge with this outrageous fake Hinata prank?

"Well don't just stare at it, silly! I found it in a small trading outpost on the way back. You used to eat this all the time, remember?"

'Remember'? 'Used to'? Naruto picked up the styrofoam cup and read the label. His brow furrowed. He had never seen this flavor before in his life.

"Do you want to eat it now? I'll make it along with mine?" Weird Hinata was beaming up at him, her hands clasped tightly to her chest as she chewed her bottom lip. Butterflies erupted in Naruto's stomach. When was the last time someone had looked at him like that? Had anyone ever? Sure there was a small, but growing, group of fan-girls that liked to stalk him around the village these days. But he could see through their fake adoration as easily as if he had the Byakugan himself.

This was different. A nice different.

"You…want to have ramen with me?" he asked, a note of incredulity seeping into his voice. This night was a lot to take in. He was having a hard time keeping up with it all.

Weird Hinata's face softened into a tender smile that ticked up on one side, crinkling her eyes in a way that made the steely hue sparkle with lavender tones that Naruto had not noticed before. Were her eyes always so big? So clear? She lifted a hand and brushed her thumb over his cheek, tracing the arches of his whisker marks and causing his breath to seize in his chest.

"I always want to have ramen with you, Naruto-kun. Always have, always will."

The kettle began to scream and she squealed happily, plucking the mysterious flavored cup of noodles from his loosening fingers and prancing back to the kitchen. The butterflies in his stomach were taking over his body. His brain was floating with a rush of dizziness that might be poison gas, or delirious joy. Hard to tell. Weird Hinata was either the slickest assassin in the shinobi world, or…

"Ready!"

Naruto looked up from where he had been clutching his stomach and trying to untangle the knot of emotions forming there. Sitting at his table was a drop dead gorgeous woman smiling at him like he was the sun itself, happily waiting to feast upon instant ramen with him.

Well damn. He had always said he liked weirdos.

Shuffling over to his seat, Naruto sat down slowly, staring at her intensely the whole time. Mumbling out his thanks, he picked up his chopsticks (only fumbling twice) and cautiously lifted up a bite of steaming noodles. It smelled good. It looked good. He poked out his tongue, one eye squinted shut as he took a tiny lick.

Huh, doesn't seem poisoned.

Even if it was, I doubt it could kill you. I've never heard of a jinchuriki being poisoned to death.

Naruto hummed at the offered advice from Kurama, deciding to just dive in. His eyes widened in dismay as the mind blowing flavors exploded in his mouth. This was the best ramen of his life! How would he ever live after only eating just one cup? Forgetting his suspicions and manners he began to inhale the delectable noodles, all the while pestering his inner companion.

Kurama, what do you make of this Weird Hinata? Is she a spy? A henge? A genjutsu?

Ugh, stupid boy. How can you not recognize your own friends? What do I look like, a sensor? That's the same Hyūga girl that's been following you around since you both were little kits.

Eh? Naruto's chewing slowed. I never noticed her following me.

Kurama snorted. Apparently you never noticed her tits before either. You're just as dense as ever.

Naruto choked, sucking a noodle down his windpipe as his face turned deep red and purple. Hinata jumped to her feet as he coughed and spluttered, pounding his back while he thumped his own chest with his fist. Holy Hell! What is that dumb fox trying to do? Kill me!?

"Naruto-kun what happened? Did Kurama say something?" Hinata rubbed small circles on his back as he wheezed, but at this question he stiffened in his chair.

"H–how did you know that?" he rasped incredulously.

Weird Hinata patted his head and sat down again, assuming that he was fine if he could speak. "I can tell when you're talking to him by the expression on your face. You get this far away look in your eyes, it's hard to explain. Just something I've noticed." She took a bite and chewed it carefully while studying him, her head tilted slightly and eyes narrowed in thought. "My guess, based on your red face, is he made an inappropriate comment about my figure again?"

"WHAT!?" Naruto screeched in horror.

In his head Kurama hissed. Nevermind, she's obviously a witch.

"A witch?!" Naruto bellowed as he leapt to his feet, too late realizing that he had spoken out loud. He and Hinata stared at each other for a long moment, his blood pressure rising so much he could hear it ringing in his ears. Shit, he had messed up, and with his amputated arm not yet completely healed, Tsunade had strictly forbidden him from any kind of fighting. But what if it was a matter of life and death?

Weird Hinata lowered her head, the fringe of her hair casting a dark shadow across her eyes. Her shoulders began to shake. She dropped her chopsticks, pressing her hands into the table as she slowly began to rise. Inwardly Naruto was cussing out his bijū partner, calling him every name in the book for getting him into this mess. Just as he was about to say fuck it and go full Bijū Mode to bust the hell out of here… she started laughing.

Laughing? For real?

Soon she was hugging her stomach, tears rolling down her cheeks as she cackled away. "Oh my word, it's been a long time since he made that joke. Although usually he was referring to Ino-chan, I think?"

Hmph, true. I never trusted those Mind Walkers. Witchcraft.

Naruto groaned and sank back into his chair, kneading his temple as the rush in his head started to pound like an oncoming headache. Seriously Kurama, just give it to me straight. No witchcraft bullshit. Who is this woman?

The demon and jinchuriki stared at the strange woman who was now humming to herself as she scooped up the empty ramen containers and tidied up the kitchen. In the stillness of the moment Naruto discreetly channeled natural energy and let the rush of Sage Mode wash over his awareness. The unique skill was one of the few he could still manage one handed.

He focused, blocking out the overwhelming bombardment of sensory depth to concentrate on just the person standing in front of him. Her chakra glowed and sparked like a cheerful fire. And yet carried a profound peace that was as pure as the freshly fallen snow, glowing blue in the light of the moon. She was lacking any of the hatred that he had seen too much of over the last few years. Everything about her aura appealed to him, body and soul. It was almost hypnotizing.

Kurama snickered. I think you answered your own question. I'm done here. Goodnight.

Without another word the bijū cut off their connection, leaving Naruto to stare in dazed awe at Hinata as his natural energy faded away. He felt like he had just been dropped back onto earth from a weightless cloud, and the burden of gravity made even breathing difficult.

Completely unaware of the deep scrutiny she had just been subjected to, Hinata straightened up from where she had been rearranging something in the cupboards and stretched long and deep like a cat. The action had Naruto's gaze once again trailing over her body as that tortured shirt pulled tightly across her chest.

Damn, she had such a good…heart.

Sighing deeply, she padded past him, barely stifling a yawn. "I am beat. Now that my stomach is full I feel like I could sleep for days."

Naruto snapped out of his salacious detour. "Oh, uh, sleep. Right. Wait, sleep here!? Won't your father get a bit suspicious?" He had seen the Hyūga Clan Head in person only a few times, and he didn't seem like the kind of guy Naruto wanted to piss off.

Hinata's head popped out from around the corner where she had been headed in the direction of his bathroom. Which he had never told her the location of. Weird. "Of course not," she laughed. "He got used to the idea of me sleeping with you ages ago."

Her head disappeared but Naruto was stumbling out of his chair. Tripping back down the hallway he called out, "Wait! Define 'sleep'. D'you mean like, to sleep? Or to bed? What constitutes 'together' exactly? Hey! I need details!"

A door clicked shut and his questions were unanswered as he rounded the end of the hallway to see nothing but the glow of the bathroom light shining underneath the door. For an instant he was tempted to knock and demand an explanation for that last statement, as well as all the other massively confusing ones, when the sound of the tub filling with water caused his fist to fall to his side.

Naruto's eyes widened in the dark hall. She was taking a bath. At his house. In the same tub he bathed in. Naked. She was naked in his tub. Oh Kami...

His gut tightened again, but this time it was a more carnal emotion than just anxiety. Cursing his own body, Naruto took deep breaths, turning away from the flimsy door that stood between him and the peeping dream of lifetime.

He was not a pervert. He would not look. He would respect her privacy if it killed him.

Shuffling one door down to his room he sat uncomfortably on the edge of the bed in his tenting sweats, determined to think about anything else other than Hyūga Hinata's amazing…appearance. Raking his hand through his hair until it stood up wildly he racked his brain for anything that could explain what in the hell was going on.

It was definitely her. Her chakra confirmed as much. But why was she so different? Weird, but not really in a bad way. She acted so familiar with him. As though they had been close friends, or apparently more than friends, for years. Yet the last time he had seen her was when she and Team 8 had left on that mission. That was like, two…three weeks ago? And even then, she had barely been able to blurt out a goodbye and some well wishes for his quick recovery before turning red and sprinting away. What could have occurred to let Hinata suddenly come so far out of her shell?

"Naruto-kun!"

He startled at the sound of her voice calling his name, head whipping up.

"Naruto-kun can you come here for a second?"

Blankets and pillows exploded as he leapt off his bed, running into the bedroom door frame before tripping over his own two feet in his haste to get to the bathroom. Outside the door he hesitated, panting as his hand hovered over the knob, then lifted to knock, then anxiously rubbed the back of his neck.

"Ah, um, y-yes Hinata?" his voice cracked like a pubescent teenager and he cleared his throat harshly. "What can I do for you?" he forced out in a dramatically deeper tone. Inwardly he cringed. Smooth.

"I forgot to grab a towel. You mind handing me one?"

"YES! Ah-hem, I mean, yes. Of course. No problemo. I have towels. Lots of them. And they're soft too. Uh, one sec."

Sprinting back to his room he began tearing through the piles of "clean" and "sorta clean" and "smells like ass" laundry that he had been sorely neglecting. Lifting one random article of cloth after another and sniffing it experimentally. "Towel, towel, where the fuck is a towel," he muttered panickedly as one item after another was deemed unsuitable for the goddess in his tub. "Note to self, buy more goddamn towels."

Flinging yet another crusty piece of clothing out of the way he discovered the care package that had been left on his porch the day he came home from the hospital. The card was unsigned, and simply said "get well soon" in prettily stamped letters. Exhausted and so grateful to finally be home after weeks in the hospital, Naruto had been too excited by the variety of ramen cups included with it to notice the set of comfy blankets, pillows, and (praise Kami) towels at the bottom. Ripping the soft, fluffy terry cloth out of the basket he kissed it in desperate glee before racing back to the closed bathroom door.

Once again he hesitated. This was the perfect excuse to get a look at her. Just a quick peek. No big deal. He was doing her a favor that she had requested. As an adult. A mature, helpful, adult.

Dammit Naruto! Get it together! Don't be a creep! He berated himself, biting the towel and releasing a frustrated scream into its thick fabric. No, I got this. I got this.

Swallowing hard he knocked. "H-Hinata, I have the towel. I'll just leave it right here for you."

"Don't be ridiculous, the door isn't locked. Just bring it in."

Naruto started to hyperventilate. He no longer cared about how Weird Hinata got here. She was a gift from Kami and that was all that mattered.

Tucking the towel under his arm, he shakily grasped the knob and twisted. Immediately the heavy mist of steaming water hit his face, mingling with the drops of sweat that were beading up on his forehead. He licked his lips, grabbing the towel and holding it out in his clenched fist, arm fully extended into the bathroom as he struggled to keep his face hidden behind the door.

"Alright, h-here ya go. One fresh, clean towel, ha ha." Naruto grimaced at the awkward laugh he couldn't hold back. Scrunching his eyes closed and pressing his forehead into the cold wood panels of the door, he stretched his arm out as far as it would go. The sound of sloshing water made his mouth run dry. What is she doing right now?

"I can't reach it from there, can you hand it to me?" Her words lilted up at the end, as though she was trying to smother her amusement at his reluctance. Was she trying to kill him? He glanced down at his sweatpants, the most revealing clothing in the fucking world, and chewed the inside of his cheek. There was no way the Byakugan Princess wasn't gonna notice that boner.

Nervously licking his lips, he pressed his eyes closed once again, mustered all of his courage, and leaned as much of his upper body as he could through the doorway. Stretching blindly in the direction of the tub.

"C-can you reach it now?" he asked in an unsteady voice.

"Um, a little closer."

His arm trembled, the towel was starting to feel like a ten ton rock. He inched a bit further inside, his foot bumping into something on the tiled floor. Wobbling a bit he reflexively glanced down at his feet and instantly knew he had made a huge mistake.

Panties.

Her panties were on the floor.

They were purple.

The corners of his vision started closing in. The cloying humidity was choking him. He couldn't catch his breath. He stared with laser focus as the delicate, lacy, thong which was starting to spin at his feet. Or was he the one spinning?

"Naruto-kun?"

At hearing his name he looked up sharply, forgetting why he had only been looking down in the first place.

Nevermind. He hadn't made a mistake. He had made the best decision of his ever loving life.

Hinata reclined in his tub, fingers combing her sopping wet midnight tresses away from her eyes, which looked at him in mild confusion and amusement. The smooth expanse of her ample chest bobbed in the sudsy water, the barest hint of pink tipped nipples obscured by the floating clouds of bubbles.

The towel dropped to the floor. His mouth dropped open. He nearly dropped to his knees and begged her to marry him that instant.

The tent in his pants…did not drop. No. Not a bit.

And then, that devil disguised as a goddess, smirked.

"Silly," she giggled, looking down at the towel on the floor. Did he imagine her eyes lingering over his lower half for a heartbeat? "I still can't reach it." She looked back up at him through her lashes, feigning innocent ineptitude. "Can you help me, Na-ru-to-kun?"

Definitely a witch.

Slowly as though it were a live bomb, Naruto bent over and picked up the towel, not breaking eye contact for one second. Standing tall he stepped closer, looming over the cloudy water, never thinking he'd be jealous of a godforsaken towel. He'd give his remaining arm to swap places with it and wrap himself around her wet, naked, body.

Her toned arm emerged from the bath, dripping warm water onto his bare toes as Hinata reached up to grasp the towel he held out. Their eyes were locked onto each other. Hers danced with an emotion he couldn't name. One he had never seen focused upon himself. It made his nostrils flare and his heart pound. His whole body tensed and his instincts screamed, waiting for something he was unable to anticipate.

Hinata seemed not to be the least bit confused, reading something in his eyes that only made her own settle with determination. Her mouth tilted into a small, devious smile.

"Woopsie," she whispered, and with a sudden yank, pulled him into the bath. Towel, clothes, and all.

After a brief few seconds of gurgling confusion, Naruto erupted from the water, gasping and shaking his head. Water sprayed across the bathroom and Hinata burst into loud laughter, wrapping slick, slender arms around his neck. Naruto blinked in shock, bracing himself up on one arm as he tried to get his legs under him and comprehend what she had done. Water droplets clung to her eyelashes as she grinned unrepentantly up at him.

"My bad," Hinata giggled, plucking at his soaking wet shirt.

"You d-did that on purpose," he spluttered. It sounded more like a stunned question than an accusation. She lifted a shoulder and shrugged, her barely covered cleavage bouncing between them.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked coyly, her hands releasing his neck and slipping under the water.

Naruto leaned back, trying to gain some sanity and distance, utterly unable to agree. "No. I'm not m-mad."

Hinata pouted. "Does that mean I'm not in trouble?" Under the water Naruto felt a tug on the strings of his sweats, and his eyes widened.

"N-not yet," he rasped. Her expression took on a slightly predatory gleam that made his toes curl.

"Are you going to…punish me?"

The tension of his drawstring suddenly released, and the weight of his wet pants loosened over his groin. Naruto struggled to control his body. His hand gripped the edge of the tub in a white knuckled grasp as she pressed forward, and he pressed his back harder against the porcelain ledge.

Water dripped from her bangs as she closed in, her bare back and shoulders breaching the water as she crawled toward his heaving chest.

"I was a bad girl," she crooned, her face coming within a mere breath of his own. He could see the faint outline of her pupils, dilated and hungry.

"S-such a b-bad girl," he parroted obediently.

"I need to make it up to you." Her fingers found the hem of his shirt and began to work it upwards out of the water, exposing his well toned abs which were nearly twitching.

He let his head fall back as his words whooshed out in a prayerful exhale, "God, please do."

The soaked shirt lifted over his head, and before he could blink away the water he felt her press an impassioned kiss to his lips. Startled, he gasped, and immediately her tongue invaded his mouth. Hot and slick and coaxing his own to join her erotic dance.

He let her lead, having no idea what he was doing but willing to let her teach him one kiss at a time. And he had never studied so hard in his life. Her hands came up to cradle his face, tracing his square jaw and threading up into his hair. Following the pressure of her delicious touch he tilted his head, fitting their lips even deeper together, the urge to devour her beginning to surge within.

She hummed in reward for his enthusiasm, tightening her grip around his neck and collapsing upon his chest. Naruto's eyes shot open as her naked, soft, breasts squished against his skin. The firm peaks of her nipples slipping and sliding, teasing and torturing, in the soapy water.

"Oh, god Hinata," he groaned into her mouth.

She bit his bottom lip playfully. "Miss me that much, huh?"

"Uh-huh," he answered stupidly, knowing it made zero sense and giving zero fucks. She gripped his wrist and yanked his hand away from the edge of the tub, planting his open palm over the roundness of her breast and smashing it aggressively into her pliant flesh.

"Missed you too, Naruto-kun," she sighed harshly, ignoring his whimpers. This was insane. This was glorious. She was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his life. He squeezed and kneaded her, drinking in her moans and cries as he tugged and twisted her nipple.

Suddenly she straightened, her whole chest coming up out of the water. Naruto's lips throbbed from the aggressiveness of her kisses when she pulled away. But the loss was unmourned when she thrust her tit into his face.

No further instructions needed there.

He latched onto her pink nipple and sucked for all he was worth. Watching her face twist and contort with her building ecstasy. His fingers plucking one nipple as his tongue worshiped the other. He could feel the band of his pants floating downwards, slipping off with their increasingly frantic movements. When the shaft of his hard cock brushed against what might have been the side of her thigh he jerked, sinking his teeth deeply into her flesh.

She cried out and he immediately recoiled, horror washing over him. "I-I-I'm so sorry! I couldn't help it–"

"Shut up," she breathed, dragging her nails firmly down the planes of his chest, causing deep pink streaks to bloom in their paths. "I love it and you know it."

"I do?–hmph!"

Water splashed as she brazenly climbed into his lap, fully straddling his aching erection. His eyes crossed as her hot folds cradled his firm length, riding back and forth in tortuous strokes without ever taking him inside. It was all he could do to keep from bucking his hips and blowing his load. Not yet, this can't end yet. I may never get this chance again…

Forcing his eyes open through the mind melting waves of lust, he drank in the mesmerizing sight of Hyūga Hinata riding his dick, head thrown back in bliss, gleaming tits swaying freely, branded by his own teeth marks on her perfect pink skin. Almost as if she were mine.

He liked the sound of that. Mine.

With a quick lurch he seized her breast in his hand, and her head snapped forward, eyes keen and bright. Deliberately he bit her breast, then licked over the mark with a slow drag of his tongue. She bit her lip, watching avidly as he did it over and over. Bite, lick, bite, lick. Pulling away so slowly she could see the saliva string away from her skin. Faint pink rows of teeth began to blossom across her skin, and her moans were accumulating along with them.

Naruto searched his hazy memory for something more, cursing himself for not memorizing every lewd scene from the Icha Icha novels. He wanted to make her as crazy as she was making him. Mess her up inside and out.

He suddenly remembered something, and closely watching her face, released her breast and dove his hand between her legs. His hand found her knee first. Her thighs twitched as he traced her leg upwards to her center, the soft curls telling him he was getting close. She spread as wide as she could in the tight bath, humming deliciously as he gently explored her lower lips.

His mouth parted as he gazed in awe at her naked chest and flushing face, all the while painting a detailed mental picture of the slick heat his fingers were discovering. Her plumpness abruptly gave way and he suddenly found himself sinking a finger deep inside her tight cunt, and she cried out in relief.

Swallowing hard, Naruto clenched his teeth, struggling to control himself as he worked her in and out. Her walls tightened as he added another finger, satisfaction filling him when she only keened louder. Just when he thought he was mastering the perfect rhythm she did something that almost stopped his heart.

She grabbed his cock and started stroking it. Deliberately, maliciously, perfectly. Head to hilt. Over and over. Dragging the palm of her hand across the sensitive, flat glans, while pressing her fingertips down the back of his shaft. It was as if she had watched him jerk off and knew exactly how he liked it. Exactly what got him off. She even knew when to use her other hand to cup and gently tug on his balls. He nearly sank his teeth through his bottom lip.

"God, Hinata, I'm not gonna last much longer if you do that," he choked out. Fighting through the near blinding bliss of her gifted hands and trying to hold back. She chuckled lowly, evilly.

"Then don't."

He came undone, thrusting into the tight grip of her hands as the hot water sloshed around them, soaking the floor, splashing the walls, and still not echoing louder than his cries of blissful defeat.

"Ah fuck, ah fuck, fuck Hinata," he gasped, his whole body buzzing and tingling as his cock twitched in her fingers. She grinned, proud and unfazed at his undoing. Embarrassment heated his cheeks as he realized that he had failed to satisfy her first, but she seemed not to care in the least. Her hair was plastered to her body, which nearly vibrated with her unspent lust. He could practically taste the desire that leached from every pore in her skin.

Challenge accepted.

Abruptly he leapt from the tub, startling her as he pulled her arm, forcing her to stand as well. "Naruto-kun what are you–eep!"

Stooping down, he wrapped his arm around her waist and threw her over his shoulder. She screamed and laughed as he kicked the bathroom door all the way open and marched to his bedroom, trailing water the whole way down the hall behind them. With the delicacy of a caveman he dumped her upon her bed, watching her curves shake and sway as she bounced.

He had no idea what he was doing, but if there was one thing he was good at, it was bullshitting his way through a problem and figuring it out as he went. Right now this goddess was horny as hell and he needed to figure out how to satisfy her.

Her face flushed under his lewd stare, one hand trailing over her pert nipple as one leg lazily fell open. "See something you like?"

His eyes landed on her damp curls, and his fingers twitched with the memory of the heat they had just barely started discovering there. His mouth watered as he nodded sharply. "Very much."

Falling between her legs he pushed them open, pleased that even despite the long bath he could still smell the aroma of her lust when he inhaled. She shifted in anticipation, whimpering as he began to explore her once more. Plump, swollen, lips slickened with the fluids of her eagerness greeted him. He sank a finger deep inside, reveling in the way she arched her back, thrusting her round tits into the air.

"Touch them, Hinata," he commanded softly, half amazed that he dared to be so bold. But when she immediately moved to pinch and tug on her taut nipples, his ego swelled. He added a second finger, once again striving to find the perfect rhythm that would make her lose control.

Her head thrashed on the pillow. He hissed through his teeth, watching her cry out praises for his touch. But he wanted her invading all his senses. Her hot skin, her screams, her taste.

Lowering his head, he pressed his tongue to the peak of her folds, and she nearly lurched off the bed. He smirked, and did it again, this time stroking up and down, searching for that one spot that he had heard–

"Shit!" she squeaked at the same instant he felt a pebbled nub flick under the tip of his tongue. He raised his head and gawked at her. He had never heard Hinata swear before in his life. Not even so much as a "dang it". He didn't know she knew how to do it. He stared in shock until she glared down at him and cried, "Don't just stop!"

"Yes ma'am," he mumbled and rushed to obey. Hot, moist, panting filled his bedroom as he laved her. Softer, slower, harder, faster. Anything she demanded he fulfilled with the enthusiasm of an acolyte enslaved to his goddess. Every second the increasing tension of her pussy clenching around his fingers assured him that his worship was well received. His own erection began to come alive again as he adored her climb to ecstasy.

Her hands sank into his hair, pulling him tightly against her and nearly making his eyes water. The pain sharpened his lust. The muscles of his shoulders rolled as her pelvis rocked up into his mouth. His fingers curled inside her slick tightness as his whole body unconsciously strove to match her ferocity.

The pressure hit the spot, and she splintered beneath him. Thick thighs clamping around his head, muffling the sound of her screams. He drank her in, a thirst he had not known existed sated for the first time. For what felt like forever, and yet not long enough, he was trapped in her embrace. Then ever so slowly, she released him. Gasping, panting. A mess of sweat and bathwater. Her hair was sprawled across his pillow, dripping onto his blankets.

God, she was fucking gorgeous. His cock was back at full mast. Hard and throbbing. Beading precum as if it hadn't just unloaded. Naruto sat up, kneeling between her splayed legs and cupping his aching balls, almost scared at the intensity of the tension that was already beginning to build up again.

Would she let him do more? Did he dare ask? What he had already received was far beyond his imagination. Was anything extra just risking being burned by flying too close to the sun? Too close to heaven?

Her eyes cracked open, lazily studying him. He knelt, shoulders taut, eyes nearly feral, and a choke hold on the shaft of his angry dick. Hinata propped herself up on her elbows, staring greedily at his thickness. His breath hitched, hope starting to surge through his thrumming veins.

He swallowed hard. "H-Hinata, can I…" his words faltered, his eyes flicking down to her glistening pussy.

She saw, and opened her legs wider, taunting him. "Can you what?"

Naruto shuddered. "Can I f–fu…" he choked on the crude word, pressing his lips together as his nostrils flared in embarrassment and frustration.

"Say it," she coaxed, eyes dancing. "I'm already yours, Naruto-kun. You don't need to ask. Tell me what you want." One hand reached out and traced a delicate finger over the head of his cock, smearing the precum all over the smooth, purple skin.

"I wanna–" he snarled, her fragile touch so overstimulating in the tense moment. She did it again, firmer, and this time he fell forward, barely catching himself on his hand to hover over her petite and salacious body. He could feel her harsh breaths fan across his cheeks, cooling the sweat that dripped down his temples. He could still taste the remnants of her orgasm on his tongue, and wondered if she could as well when she hungrily pressed her mouth to his.

For several long, tortuous seconds she overloaded his mind with her deep kisses, while taking hold of his dick and guiding it to where she wanted it to go. He felt the pliant heat of her soaking wet folds start to envelope his head, and he seized.

"I'm going to fuck you," he growled, pupils nearly slitting as the carnal desires of his flesh overwhelmed him. "I am going to fuck you."

"Oh god, please do," she moaned, her ankles locking behind his back and without wasting another moment she helped propel him into her tight cunt. Naruto nearly howled as the molten heat engulfed him. It stole his breath away. Hinata's head was thrown back, her eyes squeezed shut, mouth gaping open.

Naruto couldn't help but smirk at her expression, even through his delirium. She did say she wanted to be fucked. He started to pull out, but she fought him, refusing to let him start to thrust. Arching her back and wrapping her legs tightly around his waist, her heels dug into his ass until he sank impossibly deeper into her wet glory. He swore, bracing his arm next to her head and peppering her face and neck with wet kisses as he reveled in the feeling of being fully buried inside her.

Only after he begged did Hinata let him move, and he instantly lost himself in the effort of spearing her over and over again. Her breasts bounced with each snap of his hips, accentuating the satisfying sound of their flesh slapping together. Shit, he could die happy having seen this sight. The pristine, perfect, Hyūga Princess being split apart on his cock, swearing like a sailor as she begged him to rail her harder.

She threw a leg up over his shoulder, shifting the angle of their joining and suddenly things began moving at a frantic pace. He could feel the tip of his dick tapping her cervix, abusing her cunt as it clenched around him, milking him, dragging him closer and closer to a fall he would never survive. She was gasping with each thrust, mumbling incoherent nonsense that could be either prayers or curses. His whole body was thrumming, his heart pounding.

"Say my name," he demanded through clenched teeth. "Look me in the eye, and say my fucking name." He needed this to be more than coincidence. More than just a once in a lifetime event. He didn't know why, but suddenly Naruto desperately wanted –needed– to hear her acknowledge him.

In this moment, when he was at her mercy, he needed to know she would see him.

Her face twisted as her climax rippled through her body, spurred on by his possessive demand. "Naruto-kun! Oh god, Naruto-kun! I love you, Naruto-kun, fuck, I love you so much!"

He roared as he exploded, curled over her, between her, around her. She was his world. His everything. As his sanity shattered into a million pieces, in his mind the realest thing in the Kami damned universe was this Hinata that he clung to, and she did not let him go.

His limbs gave out one by one. Like a marionette whose strings were cut, he collapsed upon her. A heap of spent emotion and energy. Her hair tickled his face with each gulping breath, but he couldn't move to swipe it away. Their sweaty skin felt as if it would never separate. Melded together forever after a moment of searing passion. The pulse bounding in her neck throbbed against his cheek, and he swore it was in perfect sync with his own.

He had no idea how much time went by before he finally was able to roll away. His sensitive dick slipped out of her soaked center, making him shudder, but he only clung to her harder. Hinata sighed contentedly, twisting around so that her back was flush against his bare chest and her ass was nestled perfectly against his groin. He grunted, wrapping his arm around her waist and hugging her closer, making sure to fill his palm with a heavy handful of her tit, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Was there a more perfect feeling in existence than this? Probably not.

The certainty of that idea was cemented in his heart and soul when Hinata sleepily reached up and stroked his face. "Goodnight Naruto-kun, I love you. It's so nice to be home."

His mind struggled to piece together this final confusing comment along with all the others she had uttered throughout this strange night.

But damn, he was tired. And it hurt to think. He could only come up with one thing that he knew without a doubt.

"Hyūga Hinata," he whispered huskily, his lips brushing against the shell of her ear, "will you marry me?"

She giggled, wiggling happily in his arms. "Silly Naruto-kun, we've been married for years."

Huh. Well, he wasn't going to argue with her. With that being resolved, they both fell fast asleep.