DISCREET

Summary: A sequel to my story, Brick by Brick. Kaz and Inej spend their first night together. It's the morning after. They had agreed to keep their relationship secret. Why is Kaz so upset when Jesper finds out?

Note: While inspired by the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo, there is a reference to events in my story, The Space between Truth and Lies. But it's not necessary to have read the latter to understand this. Spoiler Alert: There are several references to events in Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom. (but why would you read a story inspired by the books if you haven't read them already?)

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Kaz was surprised how much pleasure he was deriving from watching Inej sleep. In his bed. Inches away from him. Anyone who knew they had spent the night together would never believe that they had merely cuddled, caressed and kissed each other. But there was no 'mere' about it for them. Inej had been very pleased: she had smiled broadly and called it 'significant progress.' Kaz didn't believe in heaven, but if he did, he thought it would feel like last night. Well, the latter part of it. The beginning had been fraught, almost a disaster, as both had been triggered by their efforts to "move forward" as Inej had wanted: Kaz having one of his panicky attacks; Inej going into the trance like state she called "disappearing." But they had eventually moved beyond those episodes.

Kaz savored the memory of when the touches started to become easier between them. Still, they had been careful; neither ready to go too far, or wanting to cause the other to need to withdraw from this dance of pleasure and desire.

They had gone to sleep in his bed, as Inej had requested, her back to his front, his arm around her, sated, peaceful.

The soft knock on the door to his room surprised him. The gang members knew to never bother Kaz in the mornings for anything less than an emergency, as he tended to keep late hours. Not wanting whoever it was to knock more loudly, or call out, for fear of waking Inej, he swiftly pulled on his dressing gown and went to see who it was.

When he opened the door, just a few inches, to clearly signify that he was not allowing whoever it was into his room, Jesper began to speak. "Kaz, a messenger from the Wraith came to the house, asking for Inej. Apparently, they got into harbor last evening, and Inej left the ship and didn't return. They expected her to be at Wylan's, because that's where she always stays. You don't think anything happened to her, do you? Do you know where she is?"

Keeping his voice low, Kaz replied, "She's fine. I'll make sure she gets the message that they need her at the ship. Was it an emergency? Do they need her immediately?"

"Not an emergency per say, but I think they need her to make some kind of decision this morning."

Saying, "I'll make sure she knows," Kaz began to close the door.

Jesper grabbed the edge of the door, preventing this, and asked, "She's in there, isn't she?"

Kaz gave him on one those looks, like the ones he would give a man before deciding whether to just injure him severely or kill him, before opening the door, just enough to step outside, then shut the door quickly and quietly. Kaz swiftly pinned Jesper to the wall, and said in a low, menacing tone, "You will say nothing: nothing in this moment, and nothing to anyone else later, or I will hunt you down, take those revolvers you love so much, and shoot you with them. Alright, I know you won't be able to help yourself, and you'll tell Wylan. But this goes no further. Inej and I agreed we need to be discreet about this; we don't want this becoming common knowledge. Nod if you understand." Jesper nodded vigorously. "And don't you dare try to talk to her about it!" After Jesper shook his head, Kaz pushed him toward the stairs before re-entering his room, and locking the door.

Arriving back at the bed, he saw Inej was awake. She was wondering why he had put on the dressing gown to answer the door, then suspected it had to do with the fact that he had slept in his shirt and pants from yesterday, which had wrinkled them excessively. His only concession to comfort had been to remove his tie and vest (well, allow Inej to remove them). Kaz never liked others seeing him in less than impeccable attire, unless he had just come from a brawl.

Inej offered, "I didn't hear all of that, but I get the distinct impression that I caused a problem. I'm sorry, I didn't think about what might happened if my crew didn't know where to find me. I understand your privacy is important to you."

Kaz sat down beside her on the bed and picked up her hand. "Last night was wonderful. I should regret that you spent the night, given what's happened with Jesper, but I find that I can't. But I suppose we should discuss what to do about it."

"Given that Jesper knows, and that means Wylan too, we could be together there, where the crew expects me to be."

Kaz just looked at her, his face stony. "And I can see you're uncomfortable with that." She paused, "It's a big house. My room isn't next to theirs. You could sneak in my window, and leave before dawn, if you prefer. Although your leg-"

"Please, I'm no Wraith, but you know I've scaled and broken into my share of buildings, including that house." Inez kept her smile inside. She had pricked Kaz's pride about his abilities, despite his cripped leg, on purpose. "Besides, if Wylan and Jesper know about us, they can just send any message for you here."

Inej brightened at that idea. "We could see each other at either place. So, this turn of events isn't so bad after all. Good, I don't have to feel so bad about it." Then she noticed Kaz's disgruntled expression. "I'm sorry. You said you didn't want others to know."

Inej was puzzled; something in particular was bothering Kaz about this. "I know you said you wanted to keep this change in our relationship secret, that we needed to be discreet. And I was fine with that. But it's hard to keep it away from everyone. You already told my parents you loved me."

"Because you said wanted your parents to know about me, to accept me. I told you I would have been fine if they didn't even know of my existence." (Kaz had privately instructed her parents later that it would be safer for Inej if they told no one about her plan to hunt slavers, nor anything about her connection to Kaz. But he wasn't going to share that with Inej.)

"Well, Jesper and Wylan are my friends. I should be able to share something so important with my friends. And they're your friends too."

Kaz just said "Hmm, maybe."

"And half my crew used to work for you."

Kaz was thinking she didn't need to know he was paying several of them to give him reports about the events at sea when they came back into port, just in case Inej would hide something from him.

Iinej continued, "And at least some of them probably know you bought the ship for me. Don't you think some of them suspect that our relationship is something other than a gang boss and his former spider?" Something about this situation didn't fit. "What really is bothering you?"

In response, Kaz let go of her hands, stood up, and taking up his crow headed cane, strode about six feet away from her. He stood facing her, back as straight as his cane, shoulders back, the cane stabbed into the floor in front, grasped by both his hands. His face was that implacable, confident, defiant expression he had when facing a crowd of enemies, a rival gang. The midnight blue dressing gown, belted tightly, even reminded her of his black, fitted coat. She could image him there, in a street or alley, his dark hat shading his eyes.

"What's my reputation on the streets of the Barrel?"

Oh, he's going to answer in that way. Asking a bunch of questions instead of telling you straight and to the point. Typical. She had learned it was faster to just go along, than try to argue with him."Criminal mastermind. Dirtyhands, who will do anything, no matter how monstrous, to achieve his goals. Dangerous, vengeful, unforgiving. Reckless, but usually gets what he wants."

"What happened with Geels?"

"When he had a gun trained on you, and threatened to kill you during that so-called 'parley' with the Black Tips gang, you told him that if you didn't walk away unharmed, you had an accomplice who will burn down the building where his girlfriend lived. But you didn't, it was a bluff, but you could pull it off because you knew about the secret girlfriend."

"Pekka Rollins?"

Inej wasn't sure where this was going, but thought she saw a pattern immerging. " You said you had buried his son, when in reality you'd never touched the child. You got Rollins to go hunt for the supposedly kidnapped son, which got him out of the way for the rescue of Kuwei. But it also got Rollins to humiliate himself in front of his gang, begging you for his son's life on his knees, which reduced his power."

"Why did my bluffs work?"

"Because your reputation is that you will do anything, terrible things. You're the most dangerous man in the Barrel in many ways, because you're so unpredictable."

"And what happened with Van Eck?"

"Which situation?"

"The hostage one."

"You kidnapped his pregnant wife to force him to give me up."

"And why did I have this situation to deal with in the first place?"

"I… don't know. He knows you're loyal to your crew? The Wraith was known as one of your most valuable gang members? He took me a bargaining chip for Kuwei, and to torture information out of me?"

"No!" Kaz spit out vehemently. "I made a mistake. When Van Eck called for his guards to attack us, I showed with my eyes and my actions how important you were to me." Kaz took a deep breath, released it and said more calmly, "What is the pattern here, with these three cases?"

"That if your enemies have someone they care for, they love, you can use it against them." The pieces were falling into place for Inej. "You're afraid, afraid of me being your weakness, of someone using me against you, like Van Eck did. That's why you insisted on being discreet, trying to keep our relationship a secret."

"I made you my weakness, and put you in more danger because of it. It's not so much that someone could control me through threatening you, but that you might get hurt if our …more intimate relationship becoming known." He looked down, "And I might lose you."

"Also," Kaz said more briskly, as he raised his head, ,"as much as it pains me to admit it, I fear someone could use me against you. My reputation, as you say, usually prevents people from going after me directly, for fear of failure or retribution. But," he said with a grimace, "I'll admit a few times I have been caught unawares on the street. If you create too many enemies, or the wrong sort of enemy, through your slaver campaign, anyone you are known to care for could be used against you."

Kaz was silent for a while, and there was something about the look on his face. "What is it?" Inej inquired. "There's something else, isn't there?"

Finally, he added, "I believe that part of my reputation is of someone who doesn't really care about anyone; that I only value people for what they can do for me. It contributes to the "dangerous" or monstrous image. What happens if people know I can care for someone, that I would risk my fortune, my empire, as it were, and my own life, to save that person? Would it make me seem less dangerous, more vulnerable, and therefore less able to protect you?"

Inej wasn't sure how to respond to this. But what caught her attention the most was Kaz's implication of what he would do for her. It reminded her of when he had said he would rescue her even if she were injured so badly as to be no longer of use to him.

But what she asked was, "Are you implying that, if we can't keep this a secret, we should end it?"

Striding quickly over and sitting next to her, he stated, "It would be the safer thing to do." Before Inej could protest, he picked up her hand and, kissing it, adding, "But then, I'm known for being reckless. I have no intention of ever letting you go. Whatever happens, we will deal with it, somehow." Inej smiled, pleased with that answer.

Kaz asked, "Would you come see me tonight, if you can? You can tell Wylan where you'll be."

"I'd like that."

"You should go see to your crew. And I should get ready to go; I have a meeting with a builder later this morning." Inej nodded, and after exchanging a brief kiss, she began to braid her hair, as Kaz left her to change into new clothes for the day.

Riding in the cab back to Wylan's, Jesper thought with a laugh, Discreet? If those two want to be discreet, they need to stay miles away from each other in public. After Kaz bought Inez the warship, (which Jesper knew because Wylan told him about Kaz buying it from the Van Eck fleet), he had started to come around Wylan's house. He joined in with the meals, the conversation, and the card games that Inej, Jesper and Wylan shared, (never the singing; he would just watch with a bemused expression, or find a reason to leave), but it was obvious he was there for Inej. Jesper knew he wasn't as observant or as clever as Kaz, but even he could see the subtle differences in the way the two of them interacted, both of them finding excuses to brush their hands against each other, or sit next to each other, and the way their eyes would catch the other's.

Jesper would follow Kaz's directions in the matter, as he still had enough fear of Kaz's anger to not want to cross him. And Jesper didn't think this new softness Kaz displayed toward Inej, would carry over to anyone else. But he wished them luck in trying to maintain this secret, if it really was still a secret. He would wager a lot of money that the secret wouldn't last, no matter how discreet they thought they were.

NOTE: All the incidents that Kaz alludes to are from Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom.