Hi guys! As the update won't be next week, I'll take this chance to wish you all HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Thank you all for being here update after update and supporting me through this project of mine!
Love you lots and I'll see you on the next update!
CHAPTER 28 - Sex is overrated anyway
Rose's POV
Natalie is set to make our life hard from the second we get inside her house. Not openly, but the look she throws me… man. It will be a hard night to get through, I'm sure.
First off, she isn't impressed at all by our gift. She thanks us politely and puts it away on a table like it didn't cost us a little fortune, but her husband is close to ecstatic when he sees it.
"But you wanted one of these sets for your birthday, didn't you?"
Natalie's face drops. Oh, someone was lying.
She takes another look at the candles, obviously looking for a lie.
"Those, um… I wanted another scent," she mumbles an excuse, but Ivan doesn't let it pass. I see he is determined to counter her in everything she does or says.
So he takes the gift back, almost having to snatch it back from her hands.
"Then allow me to make it up to you and bring you something you'd enjoy the next time we visit," he says handing the gift bag to one of our guardians.
She declares us war, I see it in her eyes. She got embarrassed only in front of her husband now, but we're about to get the same treatment in front of everyone, I feel it.
But she doesn't need to do much yet because I help her in so many ways.
I'm too anxious about tonight and I would be lying if I said I'm not trembling all over, and that shows.
I stumble over the carpet as we make our way into the dining room, but thank god Ivan is there to keep me steady on my feet.
He pulls me even closer to him and whispers in my ear.
"Don't worry, you're going to be fine. I'm here to have your back."
But despite his assurances, the objects around me still mess with me.
After we greet everybody, Ivan does that gentlemanly thing in which he drags my chair to help me sit. It's just that when I sit, the chair breaks.
Once again, I am saved by Ivan's arms getting a hold of me, but I am not sheltered by some people stifling their laughter around the table and Natalie's comments on how expensive that piece of furniture was.
I am as paranoid as to think that Natalie sabotaged it on purpose, but no one knew I'd be the one to pick that chair, so I guess it was just my bad luck it happened to me.
My thigh hurting from hitting it against the breaking chair is nothing in comparison to my hurt ego.
"I'm sorry," I whisper to Ivan as soon as I'm sure no one will hear me.
He places his hand over mine on the table and smiles reassuringly.
But then again, his reassurances don't keep us safe from Natalie. Now she started with inquiries.
Especially about our relationship, like knowing we're here pretending to be a well-established couple and she's trying to expose us. I feel like I'm playing that couple's challenge, to be honest.
How did you two meet? Through my art, of course. It charmed him instantly. Where? Paris, duh. What is better than the city of love? When? Some months ago. Yes, it was love at first sight, but we kept it a secret until now, when all the King thing came out.
I am lucky Ivan is here because we can add to each other's lies without getting things mixed up. Of course, we're making it all sound great, so that it will piss her off even more. If she looks into it, she will know we're lying, but at this point we don't really care. At this point, our goal is to fuck with her as much as possible, and I'm having such a great time doing it!
Natalie's husband is nice, mostly toward me, and he has a lot of questions about my art. Endless questions. He doesn't even spare a second for his other guests at times, and it does make me feel sad for Natalie how he ignores even her when she wants to engage him in her conversations.
The other guests seem like good company, even though I continue to do some stupid things concerning them. Let me just name some.
About two hours into it, I realize I've been calling someone by the wrong name. My luck is that Ivan picked on that too, and we were both doing it, until someone finally corrected us on it.
I passed the wrong plate to someone because I didn't know the name of all the food around us, and the thing he asked for sounded so pretentious, so I looked for a pretentious plate. But why call it Courgette when it has another name we all know?! It doesn't taste any different if you call it that.
The most embarrassing thing I do is eat something that was meant for decoration. I thought hey, it is on the table and it looks edible, and there are so many fancy things on the table, it's really hard to tell those things apart. Ivan reaches for me to stop me and saves me from the embarrassment of having that thing in my mouth, but everyone saw what I was about to do with it anyway.
"It's not my night tonight. Thanks for pudding up with me people," I try to smooth things out with a pun, considering we're at eating some vegetable pudding, but I have a tough crowd. Only Ivan laughs, and I think it's mostly out of pity.
The second Ivan needs to step out to get a call, Natalie can finally show her fangs without anyone stopping her. Because I still cannot. That pity I felt for her earlier diminishes drastically when she starts her renewed attacks toward me.
"It's nice to see you finally took my advice on making bangs."
That's outrageous! I did not cut my hair because she used to tell me I have a too big forehead, I did it for myself! In a moment of mental breakdown, but for myself, still.
Someone stifles a laugh and I need to push myself to talk. What is there to lose if I fight back? Just for once, I need to know how that feels.
"And I'm glad to see you got that nose job you always dreamed of." Her jaw tightens. I'm in trouble. But she asked for it.
"Do you still watch that cartoon thing? What was it called? The one with the talking dog."
But I was just a teenager! And plenty of adults watch that to this day!
I open my mouth, but thankfully, her husband intervenes and comes up with an intricate idea about one of my paintings where he thinks he saw something referencing Adventure Time, and he is amazed at how I introduced my teenage experiences into my art. I let him ramble as much as he wants because that means Natalie gets less time to speak until Ivan comes back to have my back.
When her husband stops talking, she takes the chance, opening her mouth to say something more, but a maid comes to ask what desserts we prefer from the list she brought. I don't need to think too much to decide I want the one with the most chocolate.
"What's Ivan's favorite dessert?" our host inquires. "I mean, you can pick for him. If you know it."
"Of course I know."
No, I have no idea what that is, but I will bullshit my way around it. Ivan will understand why I made him eat that. Too bad Dimitri is behind me, I could have used a nod from him right now.
I pick the French almond cake as it sounded like the only thing involving less sugar. After all, one thing I know, he's a healthy guy, just like Dimitri.
Soon, my pretend lover comes back and the desserts roll around just then. He stares at the plates around the table, then at his. He doesn't seem too excited about it. Why is that?
"You don't like that?" I hear Natalie say, trying to stir up some shit, and I swear I am going to punch her! "Rose picked it. She said it's your favorite."
Putting a smile on his lips, he nods. "Of course it's my favorite. Thank you, sweetheart." He leans in closer to me, to kiss me on the cheek. But he takes the chance to whisper to me too. "I'm allergic to almonds."
Fuck! I need to make this right. ASAP!
But his idea of making this right is to fucking eat that! Does he have a death wish?
In the little time he gives me to think of a solution, my eyes fall on the bottle of wine to his left and I know what I have to do. I've been clumsy all evening, one more fuck-up won't matter.
"Excuse me just for a second, sugar." We've been using these pet names all night long and it kind of came like second nature now.
I get halfway up and extending my hand in front of him, I reach for the bottle of wine. Only that I make sure I don't get a good grip of it and it somehow, miraculously, falls onto his plate. The wine gets a little on his pants too, but I'd rather pay a cleaner's bill than take him to the hospital.
"Oh, god, I'm so sorry!"
Natalie doesn't like that at all. Well, I wouldn't like it either if someone fucked up my expensive tablecloth after they broke my chair.
Her husband comes to the rescue. "It's alright, there's no trouble. We were done with dinner anyway, right? I think it's time we go in the salon and let the maids deal with this."
But I wanted to eat my dessert. It looked really tasty.
In the salon, we all get some more booze and I'm grateful for the fact that Ivan lets me have it. I want this gathering to end soon and getting lightheaded will help.
"What were you doing a living before the King thing?" Ivan gets asked by someone other than Natalie. With her parade of questions, it was easy to forget there were other people around.
After that, the conversation drifts toward his college experience and the others' too.
Ivan fills them up quickly about architecture school, and he listens to what others have to say, and I thought that conversation would die down. But of course Natalie wouldn't let that occasion pass.
"Is that hard for you, Rose?"
"What should be hard?"
"I mean, you don't have such a prestigious education as your future husband. You only finished high school, right?"
"Yet," Ivan comes to my rescue once again. "To support me through this hard time, she decided to take a gap year and then, it's Italy for her. Bologna University," the lie comes out effortlessly out of his mouth.
Even though Ivan paints a beautiful dream, I eye Natalie with so much hate that she, for once, decides to keep her mouth shut. She has done enough damage because she knows I wanted to go study arts, but thanks to my father…
She turns her attention toward some other guest and leaves us be for once.
I take the chance to lean closer to Ivan. All I want now is to lie my head on someone's shoulder and tell them to hug me, and tell me it's going to be alright. But I don't. Something holds me from doing this with him.
"I need to go to the bathroom. And maybe scream into a pillow."
He smiles. "Do that, if they have one around." I want to leave his side, but he stops me. "Give me a kiss before you go."
"I know this is all for show, but do we have to be so bloody domestic?"
He pouts. "But I like it. Let me take advantage of this as much as I can, will you?"
I smile and shake my head, then I kiss him on the cheek. "Can I go now?"
"Sure."
I ask for directions, almost certain I'll get lost in this mansion. The same maid I talked to earlier the day provides them to me, and I might be imagining it, but the way I talk to her seems to annoy a guy nearby. Weird.
When I enter the highly illuminated room, I see that not only Ivan's pants had to suffer because of my bottle of wine trick. There is a spot of wine on my dress too, and I spend a couple of minutes trying to get rid of it, but I don't do an amazing job.
Sometime later, when I finally make my way down the stairs, I hear a conversation that makes me not advance further.
Ivan is wondering if something's wrong with me and if he should go after me.
"Yeah, maybe you should," I hear Reed Lazar answer, with an amused tone.
"What does that mean?" Ivan gets defensive right away.
"Don't get fired up. All I'm saying is that your partner doesn't look…"
"She doesn't look what?"
"Too bright. I mean, out of all the women you've been with… she doesn't really stand out. I mean, she does, but not for the right reasons. Was she raised by wolves? Where are her manners? Why would she laugh like that with a maid out of everyone? Why would she make that stupid joke and did she even hear of chewing her food? And what kind of artist is she without knowing anything about classical art? I mean, yes, she can sell her paintings, but what is the point of that?"
"Oh, don't be a fucking snob. If you have a problem with her or with me, say it to our face, but don't make comments that don't mean shit, especially when she's not around. If you have something to say, own up to your words, Reed," I hear Ivan stand up for me as I make my way up the stairs.
I think they continue to fight about it, as no one comes after me, and I'm thankful for it because I have the time to breathe deeply and stop my tears from falling.
But as I gather enough courage to go back downstairs, Natalie's husband intercepts me, and I cannot say no to his proposal of showing me where he put one of my paintings.
In his office. And for whatever reason, as we enter, he pushes the door shut behind him. I try not to put too much thought into it. I pretend I'm interested as he shows me my painting on the wall and I even engage in a conversation about it. But soon, he takes a step too close to me. I lift my hands so they meet his chest as he gets even closer.
"Mister Tarus…"
The deep frown on his forehead tells me no one ever reacted like this to him before.
"What happened? I thought you…"
"You thought I wanted to fuck you?" I cannot help but laugh to his face. After such a stressful night, all I can do is laugh.
"You've been flirting with me all night long," he counters.
"The fuck I did." I only tried to be nice toward him because he didn't seem to be a bitch like his wife.
He shrugs his shoulders. "Whatever."
I'm too startled to move, but he does, and gets out of the room.
What the fuck was that?
I need to find Ivan and tell him we're leaving right now. The situation has gotten out of hand and I had enough of these people.
But as I get out of that office, I stumble over Natalie. Perfect.
"You two need to leave. Right fucking now."
"I beg your pardon?"
"You heard me. All you've done since you came was disrespect me and my house. And even now…" she eyes the office. She thinks we did something in there and the hurting in her eyes almost makes me forget the way she has been treating me all night long. "I want you to leave."
"Fine. You were a shitty host anyway."
I walk past her and want to continue on my way along the hallway, but all of a sudden I hear Ivan talk.
"You don't want to do that, trust me."
Turning around to see what's happening, I see him holding her by the wrist. Did she want to grab me or god knows, even hit me?
"But she just insulted me!"
"I don't think that compares to what you've done to her all these years."
"You told him?" she looks at me accusatory, like it's not true, what she has been doing to me all this time ago.
"Of course she told me."
"It was years ago!" yes, but it never ceased to hurt.
"But you tried to do it tonight too, don't play the saint. It happened more than once and I was there. And you got your friends into it too."
"Because she was so cocky and-"
"No. Because you're jealous. Because your husband has given her in a couple of hours more attention than he probably gave you in the past couple of months. What? The fact that he has two mistresses and you're miserable in your marriage made you think that making Rose feel miserable all over again, will make you feel better? Guess what, I won't allow that to happen anymore. You won't say a single word against her anymore."
Natalie is speechless. So am I. He did his homework about this couple. But this is not what impresses me the most. It's the way he tries to protect me that makes me watch him with different eyes.
He lets go of her and takes my hand in his instead.
"Let's go. We've had enough of this."
As we're getting our coats, everyone is looking at us, shocked. I don't understand their shock until I see the touchy Mister Tarus with blood spilling out of his nose and surrounded by a couple of guardians. Analyzing the room, I see our guardians being on defensive too.
"Ivan…" I wanted to ask what happened, but I can guess.
"I know. I lost my cool, I'm sorry." he helps me get dressed with my coat and slams the door of the house as we get out.
As we head toward his car, I stop him.
"What happened?"
"I didn't… nothing… nothing happened between…"
Cupping my cheek, he makes me look up at him. "I know. But he still tried to."
"How did you figure it out?" after all, he went back alone.
"It's not rocket science. The way he was looking at you all evening long, was enough to figure it out."
"I'm sorry I made you come here. It should have been a funny night."
"I enjoyed it. It was fun as it lasted."
"Thanks."
"You don't have to thank me."
"And you didn't have to defend me." all night long, that's what he has been doing.
He frowns. "I might be pretending to be your boyfriend, but even if I wasn't in that role, I would still have done that. And I believe you when you say you can deal with things like these by yourself, but she crossed the line and I couldn't stop myself. With her husband too. Even though the jealousy part wasn't me pretending."
That comment of his makes me laugh. "You got jealous?"
"What? You're the only one allowed to get jealous?" I don't know how to respond to that, which makes him chuckle. But he becomes serious. "Look, I know I shouldn't bring this up, but that night when… what you heard me say to those guys…" he sighs. "I want you to know I didn't do anything with anyone since you came into my house."
"Then why all that pretending?"
He shrugs. "I'm my father's son. I need to appeal to some kind of people until I get to the throne."
I nod. "I get it. But you know, I meant it. After we get married, I don't expect you to-"
He shakes his head. "I'll be faithful to you."
"Even if that means… I mean I… what if I…"
"Ah, sex is overrated anyway."
I laugh once more. "Oh, so you'd choose to never have sex for the rest of your life?"
He shrugs. "Maybe we'll get to negotiate that one day."
"What if the negotiations end with your loss?"
"I think I can live with that."
"Can you?"
"We'll live and we'll see. We have time to figure that out. Let's go back now."
In the car, we find little things that happened at the dinner to laugh about, and it's mostly my clumsiness and how I almost got him killed.
Soon, Dimitri stops the car in front of a cake shop.
"What are we doing here?"
"Well, not letting me die resulted in you not eating your dessert. So I thought I could make it up for that."
"Oh, I won't say no to that." I've been thinking of those layers of chocolate borderline obsessively for a while. "But it's closed."
"Not for me."
He wants to get out of the car, but I get a hold of his hand, stopping him.
"Tell me you're not going to break in there."
He smiles. "I might be doing illegal stuff from time to time, but not to get cake, Rose. I just know the baker here and he's always around at night making the things they sell throughout the day."
"Oh." Now I feel kind of stupid for assuming that.
"I'll be right back."
But it takes him too long. A couple of minutes, that's how long he misses, but it's too long nonetheless. Because as he was in the car, I could avoid looking at the one driving. Of course, I could look at the guardian on the passenger seat, but my eyes drift toward him. And his drifted toward me too, as I see him looking at me in the mirror.
Why do I feel weird that he looks at me? Because I feel guilty. Guilty over being so lovey-dovey toward Ivan all night, and him having to watch. But like this, he can get a piece of his own medicine. He can feel how I did when Tasha was all over him. My only question is, does he feel as I did that night? Why would he, right? He has her. I'm the one having this illusion going on in my mind.
Ivan made sure to bring spoons too, so I don't have to wait until we get back to the court to dig in the whole fucking cake he bought. Okay, not all of it. I was kind enough to share it with the other passengers.
But as the car ride continues and I have the time to sit with my thoughts, I am not as talkative until we get back to the Court.
Dimitri parks the car and I get out, starting to head toward my room.
"Wait up," Ivan calls for me.
"I really have to go."
"I'll come with you."
"No, it's okay."
He still comes to my room, some minutes later, and lets himself in as I'm in the bathroom.
He knocks at the door, like already knowing what I'm doing in here.
"One minute, please."
I know I can't stay in here forever, so I open the door, finding him sitting there. Looking down, I try to get past him, but he stops me when I'm in front of him.
"Rose, what happened?"
"Nothing."
"Look at me." I shake my head. "Please."
"I um… I want to get changed, Ivan. This dress has been bugging me all night long."
"What else has been bugging you?"
"Nothing. It's been great," I fake excitement, but even a kid would pick up on my lying.
"Was it?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"Because it made you cry."
"It didn't."
"Then look at me."
Gulping down my tears, I look up. But meeting his eyes, I just burst out crying.
"I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"I'm embarrassing you. People laugh at you on my account. I'm an idiot."
"Rose-"
"I'm not… you're out of my league! The circles you frequent… the people you see… that's not me. I can't do that. God, I haven't even been to college!"
"Rose, stop."
"He is right!"
"The fuck he is! Stop that. Why do you believe everything any idiot that populates this earth would say, but you wouldn't believe me?"
"Because you're not an idiot?"
He smiles. "Nice try, kiddo."
"I should…" I want to pull away, but he doesn't let me.
"No. You're not running from this." He takes me to sit down on the bed and watches me with a warm smile. "Let me hold you."
"Why would I do that?"
"Maybe I'm wrong, but you seem to need the comfort."
"What happened to your jackassness, huh?"
"I'm still a jackass. I'm just a little better at picking my times."
I nod and move a little closer to him.
"Is it alright if I take you in my arms?"
"Yeah…"
He takes the blanket off the bed, rounds it on my shoulders and holds me tight, cuddled to his side.
"Do you think… this could work?"
"This?"
"Us. This. That we could… you know… do more than pretend? Actually… be together?"
He pulls away and looks at me, then caresses my cheek to wipe my tears.
"I don't know for sure. But I'd like us to. We're getting along pretty well now, don't we?"
"Considering the first time I saw you I had a lamp in my hand, I'd say our relationship has improved a lot. But I… I'm sorry I can't give you more." I'm sorry I can't feel that way toward him.
"Don't be. It's alright if you… our friendship will be enough."
"You really believe that?"
"I do."
"Can you hold me a second longer?"
"Sure."
Dimitri's POV
I hate to admit it, but seeing them so close and so in love, even if it was pretending, I hated that I had to be around when it happened. It filled me with anger and I could barely restrain myself the whole evening. All I wanted to do was go and break them apart, and I know how wrong it is to feel this way, but I can't help myself. Not these days.
As those images of them keep spinning in my head, I lose hours and hours of sleep by thinking of what I've seen and wondering if I'll ever be able to see this happening day after day after their marriage. And the more I imagine them falling in love, the more Tasha's proposals seem like a viable option for my future.
If only I could get them out of my mind, for one minute!
The solution comes to me without much effort.
I get dressed and head toward the place where the richest Moroi love to hang out the most. I wonder if I'll see my father there too.
I pay my fee and enter the room I'm interested in.
People are surprised to see me here. So am I.
"So, Belikov, you're ready to take all their money tonight?" Vlad asks me, ready to put me up on the list of competitors.
I smile. "Sign me up." even if I couldn't care less about the money I'll win. All I want is to swing my fists.
Despite the fact that every muscle in my body hurts in the morning, the anger is still there. It never went away, not even after falling asleep completely exhausted, not even after a cold shower, not even after running lap after lap. Nothing works.
And I seem to be looking for my next victim. But unlike last night, the one I pick a fight with has no vast experience and didn't choose to fight me. But he did make the mistake of pushing my buttons. And he did it in the worst moment possible.
"Hey coach, do you really have to be this tough with her," he asks me, probably trying to impress his colleague with his chivalry. But if I were her, I would feel offended that he thinks she cannot do what I told her to do. "Plus, you're keeping us over the scheduled hour."
On a normal day, I would kindly explain things to him and give him a little physical punishment, but he chose the wrong day to speak up.
"Oh, so if your shift ends at five and your charge is in danger at 5:01, you just won't care, right?"
"It's not like that, but-"
"And you think this is tough?" I take a step toward him and hover above him. "How tough will you find it when a Strigoi has its fangs to your charge's neck?"
"I'm stronger than a Strigoi, that will never happen."
"Oh, are you? Why don't you prove it to me?"
"It would be my pleasure, coach."
Rose's POV
As I don't find Dimitri coming to pick me up for the day, I head toward the training room, thinking he might still be around that place, teaching some impressionable minds how to become great guardians.
But when I enter, I see a different picture than I imagined.
Indeed, Dimitri is in here with the fresh graduates, but what he's doing isn't right. He's sparring with one of the guys, and despite him winning by far, he doesn't stop hitting the guy.
"What about this?!" he continues to slam his fists into the poor guy's ribs. "You cannot even push me away, what will you do with a Strigoi?"
The other people are too shocked to intervene, but I won't sit around and let him do this. He's out of control! This is not the Dimitri I know. He wouldn't go this far to prove a point.
I run toward them and slam myself as hard as I can into Dimitri's body, pushing him off the poor kid.
He gets up to his feet, ready to start sparring with me, but I won't have it.
I point my finger at him and speak through gritted teeth.
"Stop."
He fights it for a second, but doesn't move any further. Good. I am mad out of my mind at him and he won't get away without me yelling at him, fucking idiot.
But first, I send everyone away after I make sure the guy isn't hurt too badly.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I lash at him, having to follow him into the locker room, as he walked away from me.
"What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you?! Why did you do that?"
When he turns to face me, I have the time to see better that his left eye is bruised, and I'm sure that not the kid did this to him. But I am more angry than concerned right now.
"You were hurting him!"
"I was teaching him a lesson!"
"The fuck you were! That's not how you do it!"
"Don't you teach me how to do my job! That little bastard was so cocky! If he doesn't learn now that he's not as great as he thinks he is, someone will die soon!"
"So to teach him that, you're willing to beat him black and blue?!"
"If that's what it takes…"
"Wow. I never expected to hear this from you, Dimitri."
"Why? Because you think you know me?"
Ouch. That hurt. "Yeah. That's why." because I do know him. And he's not like that. "I know you're not like this, and you know it too."
"Well, you don't know me. Not at all. Now would you just leave?"
"I'm not leaving." not until I find out what's wrong.
"Rose, just go."
Instead of pulling away, I get closer. He doesn't like that and tries to fight me off.
Somehow, I manage to get him into the shower area, as he keeps on trying to get away from me and I keep on getting closer.
And if we're here already…
I turn on the shower he's under, making sure it's switched on the cold water. Maybe if he cools off, we'll be able to talk like normal people would.
The shock of the water falling over him seems to bring him out of that haze.
"What is happening to you, Dimitri?" because something isn't right.
"I don't know." The anger washed away from his eyes and now he looks… lost. "I don't know, Rose. I… I lost it." He looks down at his hands. "I lost it. I never did, but now… I lost it," he keeps on repeating it like he cannot believe it happened.
"Dimitri…" I reach my hand toward him, but he turns his back to me.
"I'm fine. I just… I'm fine."
"But you-"
"Rose, I said I'm fine," his tone gets harsh and cold. "You can go now."
"Dimitri-"
"Please. Just go."
The torment in his voice, and the one I saw on his face earlier makes me leave. I don't want to make him feel worse than he already does.
And I was right when I said this wasn't his usual behavior, and he knows it too. Not long after it happened, he went to his superior and reported himself. He even asked for a punishment, and not an easy one. The whole Court is talking about it, thinking that if the kid didn't report him, why did he seek this punishment, but I know why. Because this is who he is, truly. I only need to find a way to understand what made him act this way earlier today.
Adrian's POV
Don't tell Rose about this, I can handle it. That's what he told me last night when I asked him what the hell he was doing in the cage. He can handle it my ass! If by handling it he means almost putting a kid in the hospital and that he will offer his neck up for being pierced by a pair of Strigoi fangs every single night, then he is handling it perfectly! It's the second night in a row that I hear about him being in the cage, and it is two nights too much.
I know he doesn't stand me and he has lots of reasons not to like me, but I cannot let him ruin his life like this. I cannot let him die or get hurt and make Rose suffer because of it. Not when I can do something about it. And by me doing something about it, I mean Rose can do something about it because that stubborn man would never listen to me. So I am going to do the thing he expressly asked me not to do. Rose needs to find out about this because she is the only one who can stop him. When he'll see the pain in her eyes at his actions, he'll stop doing this, I'm sure of it. He'd do anything for her. Or at least I hope he would. If the philosophers are right, love can make us act in weird ways, doesn't it? And if the way their auras light up when they're around each other doesn't represent love, then fuck me, I'll give up on spirit forever.
In a matter of minutes, I'm knocking at Rose's door. Dimitri is up next and I hope the one who is in the cage right now keeps his ground long enough for me to be able to get her there before Dimitri makes his entrance.
She opens her door and is surprised to see me, but in a good way. I like that she likes hanging out with me.
"Hey there, little Moroi. Wanna do a reckless thing tonight?"
She smiles. "Only if it doesn't get me in too much trouble with Belikov." and there it goes, her aura lights up just at her mentioning him.
"Oh, it won't." if only she'd know he is going to be the one in trouble tonight.
Rose's POV
"Where are we going, exactly?" I ask Adrian as he rushes me through some hidden corridors, after he took me through a shady door, into the area of the Court that has been closed for a long time. I always thought t was just ruins and deserted places, but something tells me this place is soon to get rather animated.
"Somewhere where you shouldn't be. Isn't that enough for you?"
It kind of is, for the reckless Rose. But for the Rose who got a little of Dimitri's mindset, it is enough to make me feel cautious.
"Plus, we're already there, you can see for yourself," he explains as he pays a guy and we get through one last door.
When the door opens, damn. It's so loud in here I cannot hear myself think. And the smell of smoke and booze is enough to intoxicate me for the next week. I don't think I like it much here.
"Tell me again, why did you bring me here?"
He shrugs. "Thought you might like to see what the best of the best Moroi do in their free time."
"Do you come here often?"
He smiles cheekily. "You consider me to be the best of the best, little Moroi?"
I punch his arm. "Cut it and get me a drink." it is the best way to end an already crappy day.
"Anything for the beautiful lady," he gives me a little bow and goes on his way.
I stay there and wait, too afraid of moving and not finding him again in the crowd. Plus, my place is one from which I can watch almost everything that is happening, and something really interesting must be happening at the back of the room. That is the nosiest part of the room and I'm definitely making Adrian take me there.
But before he comes, something else makes me head that way.
People are cheering. And they're cheering a name. Not anyone's name. Dimitri's.
I push my way to the front of the crowd, and when I see what's happening there, I believe I must be dreaming. There is no way in hell this is happening.
Dimitri is inside of what seems to be a closed cage, and this is not the most outrageous thing. He is fighting a fucking Strigoi!
Is he out of his damned mind?!
I don't realize I'm holding onto the chains of the cage until someone tries to rip me away from it, telling me I'm not allowed to do that.
"Let go of me!"
I think I yelled loud enough for everyone to hear me because even Dimitri turns to look and he locks eyes with me for a second.
And that second is enough of a distraction for the Strigoi he's fighting to get the upper hand. Okay, the utter surprise on Dimitri's face helped too.
"No!"
The Strigoi puts him to the ground and-
"No, no, no!" I won't even think about it! "Do something! Someone do something!"
"Is it her first time here?" someone says mockingly and I would pound my fist into their face if I weren't so worried about Dimitri.
I'd tell him to fight back, but my voice would get lost in the crowd, which is telling him to do the same.
And he does, but his eyes keep on drifting toward me and he keeps on losing ground time and time again.
Another pair of hands get a hold of me, and I'm prepared to throw my fists this time, but I stop when I see Adrian. His face says it all.
"You knew about this."
He nods. "You're the only one who can make him stop."
"If he gets out of there alive." because I'd like to be the one to fucking kill him for doing this shit!
"He did last night."
"So this isn't the first time he's doing this?! How long have you known about this?! Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
But my outrage is ignored. "He's a good fighter. He'll get out of there tonight too."
But I am not so sure about it. Dimitri's sparring doesn't look at all like the one I am used to. He's off and I'd dare say sloppy.
This new fighting technique of his brings him once again under that Strigoi, but this time it's worse.
His fangs are so close to his throat and-
I cannot look. I turn around and hide my face in Adrian's chest. His arm around my shoulders brings me so little comfort. His reassuring words don't have any effect on me either. All I can do is pray for the best, and it hurts me to be this useless.
The change in the crowd's mood is visible when the tables turn back in Dimitri's favor. Only when I hear the cheering increasing with each punch thrown, do I find it safe to look toward the cage again.
But what I see…
Dimitri's throat is bleeding, but that doesn't stop him from throwing punch after punch, turning the face of the Strigoi into an unrecognizable bloody mess.
When there is no more resistance from the man under Dimitri, the gate of the cage opens and the people around us go mad.
Adrian was right. He got out of there. But at what cost? The man I am locking eyes with now is not a man I recognize.
Instead of bathing in the glory of his victory, he pushes through the people who want to congratulate him and heads straight toward me.
The best way to describe it is that he snatches me out of there.
Holding me by my hand, he pushes through the people and heads toward the exit door, dragging me along.
Adrian wants to follow us, but he's not allowed. Dimitri stops and points his finger at him.
"Stay away or I… I swear to god, I'll…" he says through gritted teeth, then continues to drag me out of there.
I nod at Adrian and assure him I'll be alright. Or at least I hope I will. The look in Dimitri's eyes, I haven't seen that before and I don't know what to feel about it either.
I don't fight him while he takes me through the corridors. I'd like us to get to a quieter place so that my voice would be the only thing he hears when I yell at him for the next ten minutes.
Still, I cannot keep up with his pace, and as he keeps on dragging me along, his grip on my hand gets tighter, trying to make me hurry. But his grip on me is so tight I'm afraid he'll break my wrist.
"Dimitri, it hurts," I'm surprised at how scared I sound. Of how fast my heart is beating. Am I truly scared of him right now?
He notices the tone of my voice too because he drops my hand immediately, and even takes a step away from me.
Let the show begin, I guess. I want to find my words, but I don't get the chance to start yelling because he does it first.
"What the fuck were you doing there?!"
"I could ask you the same thing," I start slowly, but my voice gets louder the more I speak. "I think I have the right to ask you this, don't I?"
The way he slams his fist into the wall to his right turns my blood cold.
"No, you don't! Nothing gives you the right to ask me that!"
I try to suppress the tremor in my hands and focus on my anger instead of thinking of how afraid I am in this second.
"But you-"
"That is not a place for you!"
"The fuck it isn't! Is it a place for you?"
"Rose," he warns, but I continue to speak.
"Why were you there? The most correct man in the world, why were you there, fighting illegally?" the silence I get from him only gets me more fired up. "Answer me!"
I go as far as making him angrier on purpose, thinking that's how I'm going to get an answer from him. I push him with my hands while I speak, and he's trying so hard not to fight back, but that's exactly what I want from him.
"You're putting yourself in front of those monsters willingly? What for? For some rich fucks?"
I know I am playing a dangerous game, but I don't think I'll get an answer from him otherwise.
"That's what you do now, you entertain them? Are you really that low? How are you then different than them, huh?"
And he snaps.
"Because I cannot fucking control myself, that's why!" he bursts as my back hits the brick wall and his hands grip on my wrists. "I get so angry and I cannot control it! Because if I don't do this, I will hurt someone. I already did! I hurt that boy that morning and… and I'm afraid I'll hurt… you…" his hands let go of mine and drop close to his body, his shoulders slouched. The hurting I see in his eyes fills mine with tears. But at least the Dimitri I know is now in front of me again. "I already did. I am… look at me… I was about to…"
He distances himself from me, and I feel just as lost as him. I didn't think of a reason why he'd be doing this, but I didn't expect him to say what he said either.
"Because I get you mad all the time? That's why? You get angry because I do all this stupid stuff, right? I'll be good, I'll promise, but please, Dimitri, don't-"
"No, Rose, it's not you. I just… I can't help it. I don't know how or why it happens, but I just feel this... this anger eating at me and I don't know how to keep myself in check anymore. I don't know what's wrong."
Him admitting this to me means things are really bad.
"I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"I'm the reason why you got like this. My darkness…"
"Rose…"
"I know you don't believe in that aura shit, but isn't this proof enough? I'm giving it to you and I don't know how to take it back!"
"If it is true and you are giving it to me, then I don't want you to take it back."
"Because you don't think I can handle it?" seeing how it is affecting him, I have no idea what it would do to me.
He doesn't say yes, he just shrugs. "I know I can't. And I wouldn't want you to have to deal with this too. You have enough on your plate already."
"But I-"
"Let's talk about this tomorrow, alright?"
I know that insisting would be futile, so I don't even try. Instead, my attention is turned to the second thing that worries me about him. The blood that's slowly soaking his T-shirt. The wound isn't deep, but that's still a considerable scratch.
"No," he says, determined.
"No what?"
"You won't heal me. I'm alright."
"Not that I'd be able to do it at will, but you…" I'd heal him even if he'd oppose me, but I really hate that it would only make the situation worse. Adrian told me he's not drinking only for fun, and seeing what Dimitri is already experiencing, god only knows what could happen if I would use my powers some more.
Tears gather in my eyes, and I hurry to wipe them away. If it's out of frustration or hurt, I can't tell. I feel so overwhelmed by my emotions right now.
"Let me take care of it then."
Just like I didn't insist earlier, he doesn't insist either that there's no need for me to do that.
We walk out of there in silence, and get into his room, in the guardians' headquarters.
In there, he lets me cry my eyes out, and doesn't try to stop me, he just keeps his eyes down as I take care of his neck, then holds my hands for comfort when I'm done with the bandaging.
"Promise me you won't go there ever again," I tell him when finally, my chest doesn't shake with sobs anymore.
"I can't."
"The fuck you can't. Promise me," I say with my voice breaking, my eyes getting teary again. I didn't think I had tears left in me, but here I am. "Please. We'll find something else to help you cope with it, but don't do that anymore." He seems unmovable, still. "Don't make me beg, Dimitri. I thought you'd die tonight. You can't… you can't."
His jaw tightens. "I promise."
"Promise me again and mean it."
He sighs, and this time he resists it a little less. "I promise I won't go there again."
After how filled with emotion was last night, we both silently agreed that we needed a break. It was an easy thing to do as I didn't feel like leaving my room for the entire day. But it is now 3 a.m., and I find myself texting him.
Hey. Are you up?
He calls me in an instant.
"What happened?"
"You're awake."
"What happened?" he insists, the worry in his voice not going away.
"Nothing. I just… I couldn't sleep."
"Do you want to talk about it?" I bet he thinks I had another nightmare, but tonight it's not that.
"I think so. And I know it's much to ask, but… could I come over? If I'm not bothering you too much."
"What if I come over?" A guardian heading toward his charge's room would look less suspicious than a Moroi heading toward her guardian's room, but at this point, I couldn't care less.
"In fact… would it be weird if I'm already in front of your building?"
