Sins of the Father chapter 2

Tony pulled into the police station parking lot and pulled into a spot close to the main doors. The ride over was eerily quiet, everyone in the car lost in their own thoughts. Tony was the first to start to get out of the car, followed closely by Angela. Jonathan sat frozen in the backseat until they came to his door and opened it up.

"Hey buddy, we need to go in but if you need a few minutes, we can wait" said Tony.

Snapping out of his own thoughts, Jonathan shook his head no and got out of the car. Angela and Tony walked hand in hand into the station as Jonathan lagged behind them both.

"Hi. We are here to see Detective Peterson. I'm Tony Micelli and this is my wife, Angela Micelli and my stepson Jonathan Bower" he said.

"Please take a seat. The detective will be with you shortly" said the receptionist.

Tony led the family to a waiting area. They didn't need to wait long before Detective Peterson came and greeted the family, extending his condolences.

"Please come this way. We have a room reserved for us to talk and go over everything" said the detective.

The family grabbed the first three chairs in front of a long wooden table. The detective sat across from them with a manila folder.

"Thank you for coming today. I know this isn't easy but the sooner we can provide a positive identification, the sooner we can notify the French officials and have the bodies flown to the US. Would you all like to be present for the identification?" asked Detective Peterson.

"I think it would be best if either my wife or I did it" said Tony.

"No. I want to be here for it. He was my father and I need to know for sure it was him. I'm not going anywhere" Jonathan said very stoically.

"Jonathan I don't think that's a good idea. Tony and I can do it and then you can be here for the rest of the conversation" said Angela.

"No! I'm staying Mom and that's final!" he shouted. Tony and Angela looked at each other with a look of disbelief and doubt in this being the right decision, but knew they weren't going to convince Jonathan otherwise.

"Alright then, I have to warn you the images are quite graphic. They did the best to make them presentable but the crash was very traumatic. Just be prepared they may not look as you remember them" said the detective.

"I haven't seen my dad in years- not sure I'll even recognize him anyway" Jonathan said with anger in his voice. Tears were forming in Angela's eyes as her heart broke for her son.

Detective Peterson opened the file and placed photos of both Michael and Heather's bodies on the table in front of the family. Both Tony and Angela took quick glances and turned away, both voicing that that was in fact Michael and Heather.

Jonathan was frozen in place, staring at the photograph of his father. He barely recognized him in the state he was in, but deep down he knew it was him. An almost uncontrollable rage was building inside of him, threatening to explode like a volcano. His fists clenched at his sides, his heart began to race and his breathing quickened. Tony and Angela could see his demeanor change and knew they had to do something quick. Tony placed his hand on Jonathan's shoulder causing him to leap backwards, almost falling off the chair.

"Eh oh, oh eh! Easy there Jonathan! Take a deep breath buddy" Tony said as calmly as possible.

"Don't touch me! I'm not your buddy! I'm not his little tiger! I'm not anything anymore! Just leave me alone!" he shouted as he pushed back his chair, causing it to crash loudly to the floor. He ran out of the room and headed down the hallway until he found a restroom. He ran inside and barely made it to the stall before he threw up. He silently cursed his nervous stomach as he got sick again.

Once he felt slightly better, he cleaned himself up and headed back out to the hallway. Tony and Angela were outside of the room they were in, talking to Detective Peterson, when they spotted Jonathan. They rushed towards him to make sure he was okay.

"Oh sweetheart are you okay?" asked Angela as she went to hug him. He pulled away before she could properly hug him.

"I'm fine. I want to go home now" he said as he walked past them towards the exit. Tony and Angela thanked the detective once again and gathered all the necessary paperwork they would need for tomorrow. They had to practically jog to catch up to Jonathan, who was already leaning on the car waiting to get inside.

The car ride home was mostly silent. Jonathan refused to engage in any kind of conversation. Tony and Angela kept looking over at one another, trying to figure out a way to make this easier for Jonathan, but they knew they couldn't. Tony took hold of her hand and gave it a slight squeeze every so often, letting her know he was there for her too.

Once they pulled in the driveway, Jonathan jumped out of the car and headed into the house. He opened the door and slammed it shut, causing Samantha, Mona and Hank, who came over after getting home from work, to jump up from their seats. Tony and Angela walked in a few moments later.

"Jonathan, I think we need to talk. I know you are angry and sad and a whole bunch of other emotions right now, so am I, but keeping it bottled up right now isn't healthy. Believe me I know" said Angela.

"The last thing I want to do is talk! Just leave me alone!" he shouted as he walked towards the kitchen.

"Listen Jonathan- you don't have to talk, but maybe just listen for a second okay?" said Mona. "We are all here for you, whether you want us to be or not. And when you are ready to talk, we are here. You've got three people here who have unfortunately been in your shoes and can relate to losing a parent so young" she said.

"Great- I've joined the dead parents club. You know I've always felt like an outsider around here. I guess I won't any longer. Does the club come with any perks other than a life long membership?" Jonathan said with a mixture of anger and sarcasm.

"Jonathan!" shouted Angela.

"What Mom? It's true. Although there is one small difference between me and you all. Your parents loved you before they died. They were there for you. They didn't abandon you and then go off and replace you with another kid. So there's that small difference- do I still get my membership?" he said, the rage and deep seated hurt bubbling to the surface.

Everyone was left speechless. No one was used to hearing such things from Jonathan and they had no idea how to react. After his comment about not being his buddy, Tony wasn't sure he should say anything for fear of making the situation worse. Angela could only focus on Jonathan's comment about being an outsider in his own family. Her heart was officially broken.

Grabbing his coat again, he started for the door. "I'll be at Steven's for a while. I just… I just can't be here right now. I'm sorry…" he said, the anger momentarily gone, the sadness coming to light. He walked out the door, leaving his family staring at each other.

Without saying a word, Samantha got up and grabbed her purse and coat. She told them as she was walking out the door she would be right back. She caught up to Jonathan at the end of the driveway.

"Wait Jonathan! Let me drive you. Steven lives like two miles away. I'll come get you when you want to come home" she said.

"Fine- whatever gets me away from here the quickest" he said as he walked to her car. They both got in and Samantha drove towards his friend's house.

"So… that was pretty intense in there… I had no idea you felt like that Jonathan" Samantha said quietly.

Jonathan just stared out the window. She could see the tears forming in his eyes. He got on her nerves more than he didn't, especially when they were younger, but he was still her brother. She couldn't help but picture that eight year old little boy she first met. It was hard to believe that happy go lucky little kid was the same person sitting across from her right now, practically all grown and anything but happy.

The rest of the ride was awkwardly quiet as Jonathan never answered Samantha. They pulled up to Steven's house. Before he could get out, Samantha held onto his arm, trying to prevent him from getting out of the car.

"Listen, you don't have to talk, but I need you to hear this okay? I really had no idea you felt the way you did. It breaks my heart to think you've felt like an outsider, like anything other than a loved member of this family. You've been my little brother since we moved here, whether we all realized it or not. You annoy me to no end dweeb, but at the end of the day, there's no one else I'd rather have as my brother. I love you dweeb. I just needed you to know that okay" she said, tears starting to fall.

"I love you too Sam" he said as he exited the car, getting out before the tears that had been threatening to fall came down. He wasn't sure if he started crying that he would ever stop.

Samantha returned back home, walking through the front door. The family immediately got up and came over to her to see what had happened.

"I dropped him off at Steven's house. I've never seen him like this- normally he's annoyingly talkative whenever he's in the car, but nothing. I'm hoping getting a little fresh air will help" she said.

"We just have to give him some space. Mona's right. We know what it is like to lose a parent and he's just going to have to take this at his own pace. I think deep down he knows we are here for him, at least I hope he does…" said Tony as the pain of Jonathan's words came rushing back to him.

"Oh Tony he does. He's just hurting right now and lashing out at the people he knows can take it, as painful as it is for us. He's going to be okay, I promise" said Mona.

Angela sat back down on the sofa, being uncharacteristically quiet. She had been holding it together as much as possible, but it was like the facade she was trying to hold up came crashing down. She was unable to stop the tears from falling and soon was uncontrollably sobbing. Tony came rushing over and wrapped his arms around her in attempts to comfort Angela.

"Tony my baby! He doesn't deserve this! Where… where did I go wrong for him to feel this way?" she said as a new round of tears fell.

"Angela, you didn't do anything wrong! He's just in pain and he's going to say things that he doesn't mean because of that pain. He knows he's loved by you, by me, by everyone here. Maybe we have to show him more often as he gets through this" said Tony.

"Tony's right. We all have to figure out ways to make him feel supported and loved, which with an infant around here is going to complicate things…" said Mona.

"I almost forgot about Henry! Tony we don't have anything for a baby! We donated the rest of Jonathan's baby stuff years ago!" shouted Angela.

"Take a deep breath Angela! We've got this! Let's all eat dinner and then you and I can go over to the store and get some of the basics. Once we pick him up tomorrow morning, we can get more stuff. C'mon everyone, let's go eat so we can do what we need to before Jonathan gets home" he said as he stood up with Angela and led them into the kitchen.

The family sat down for dinner, but no one was very hungry. They mostly pushed their food around their plates, with the exception of Hank, who could eat no matter what was going on. As soon as dinner was over, they cleaned up the kitchen and headed back into the living room. Hank, Samantha and Mona decided to wait home in case Jonathan came home early, while Tony and Angela ran to the store.

Once they pulled into the parking lot and Tony turned off the car, Angela reached out and grabbed Tony's hand before he could exit the car.

"Tony, I know we have been trying to have our own baby since we've gotten back from our honeymoon. I'm not saying I don't want a baby of our own, but I think we need to wait until things settle around here. Having to help Jonathan get through this, especially knowing now how he feels, in pain or not, plus having a two month old baby to raise, I just… I just don't think it's the right time. I'm so sorry Tony" she said, tears falling again.

"Shhh… it's okay Angela. I agree- it will be too much right now. Maybe in a few months when things calm down, we can try again. Think about all the fun we will have practicing, you know when we aren't completely exhausted with an infant" Tony said with a chuckle.

Tony and Angela went into the store and headed for the baby section. They were able to pick out diapers, a car seat, stroller, blankets, bottles, formula, a portable crib and some clothing to get through the next week or so. They paid for everything and went back to the car to head home. They put all the packages upstairs in Tony's old room so when Jonathan returned, he wouldn't have to see all the baby things.

The family was just settling back down in the living room when the phone rang. Samantha was closest to the phone and answered.

"Micelli-Bower residence" she said. "Oh hi Steven… oh okay… yes I'll come by and get him… okay thanks" she said as she hung up the phone.

"I'm going to go pick up Jonathan since he's ready to come home" said Samantha.

"We can go get him Samantha" said Tony.

"No! I mean no- you and Angela just got back. No need to go back out again. Hank and I will go pick him up" she said as she dragged Hank out the door.

Once in the car, Samantha said to Hank "we've got a big problem. Jonathan is drunk. He got a hold of some of Steven's parents' alcohol and he's completely wasted. Steven said he's a mess and I'm not sure how we are getting him home" she said.

"Oh boy. Okay let's just get there and see what happens" said Hank.

Samantha and Hank pulled up to Steven's house and got out of the car. Steven was waiting by his front door. His parents were obviously not home, something Samantha was silently cursing herself she didn't check before dropping him off earlier.

"Thank goodness you are here. I've never seen him like this before- I tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen. He's been playing my dad's old records, he's broken a few. He gets so mad and then just cries. Then he's happy again. I just don't know what to do!" said Steven.

"You did the right thing by calling us. Let your parents know we will replace anything he has broken and definitely apologize for us until we can do it in person. C'mon Hank, lets try and get him out of here with the least amount of damage" she said.

"Sam! Hank! Come join me! These records are so bad they're good! Remember the first Christmas we had when you first moved in? How embarrassing was it to see our parents dance to this stuff? How embarrassing was that?" laughed Jonathan.

"Yes that was definitely cringeworthy! How about we head home so Steven can clean up this mess?" said Samantha as she went to and pick him up off the floor. Hank came around to the other side to try and lift him up.

"No! I was just starting to have some fun! This drinking thing is a blast! Makes you forget how crappy your life really is!" he shouted.

"Yeah… no it's doesn't pal. Tomorrow morning I'll remind you just how much of a blast you thought it was" said Hank as he grabbed Jonathan under his arms and hauled him to a standing position. Samantha grabbed under one of his arms and Hank the other as they thanked Steven again and headed to the car.

"Oh he's definitely going to puke in my car isn't he?" sighed Samantha as she managed with Hank to get him into the backseat of the car. "Most definitely!" said Hank as they got into the car and headed home.

Somehow Jonathan managed not to throw up in the car, much to their delight. Instead, he was almost hyper verbal, practically never shutting up. Considering how he was earlier in the day, neither minded too much.

Jonathan finally stopped talking as they pulled into the driveway. Hank and Samantha got out to help him into the house. He was stumbling as they tried to get him steady on his feet before heading into the house. As they approached the house, Jonathan tried to stand in his own and enter the house, but stumbled forward and banged into the front door, causing the family inside to again jump from their seats.

Samantha managed to open the door as Hank grabbed him by the waist and basically carried him into the house.

"Oh my god what happened?" shouted Angela.

"He's fine, he's just drunk Angela. He got into Steven's parents' alcohol and broke some of his dad's records. I don't think too badly, but I'm glad we got him when he did" said Samantha.

"You should have told us! We would have gotten him!" said Tony.

"Hey Tony! Or should I say Dad! Might as well start calling you that now!" said Jonathan as he tried to walk into the living room.

"Oh this is going to be a fun night I can tell. Now that I know the kid is alright, I'm heading out for the night. As fun as it would be to hear him in the bathroom all night, I think I will pass" said Mona as she grabbed her things and headed out the door.

"Hank, let's get him upstairs before he says or does anything else he's going to regret in the morning. Samantha, can you grab paper towels and a bucket?" asked Tony.

Jonathan tried to fight them to go upstairs, but he was in no shape to do so and ended up being carried up the stairs by Hank and Tony. They gently tossed him on his bed, while Angela started to take off his shoes. Samantha had just gotten there with the bucket, when he made a mad dash from his room into the bathroom.

"And that's our cue to leave!" said Samantha. "If you need anything, just call us okay?" she said as she hugged both Tony and Angela.

"Well here starts our fun filled evening Angela!" laughed Tony as he opened the bathroom door to help Jonathan. For the rest of the evening, they took turns taking care of Jonathan, until he finally passed out from exhaustion. They stumbled into bed themselves, knowing sleep was needed, but mostly likely wouldn't come easily. Neither one of them wanted to face tomorrow, knowing the heartache that awaited them. Their thoughts drifted from their worry for Jonathan to adapting to a new baby to their own feelings of loss and grief as they both fell into a fitful sleep.