ONE MORE WEEK UNTIL CHRISTMAS!
I set Leena on her feet and whispered for her to go to her dad, approaching Lissa once I saw that Leena was in the other room.
"I don't know how I can make myself any more clear, Adrian. Leave. I do not want you here, and I don't want to talk to you. I've said what I needed to say," I said firmly, crossing my arms over my chest.
"How is it that you can't forgive me, but I can forgive you for the things you've done? What I've done is minuscule to yours!" Adrian demanded and I gawked at him with a shake of my head.
"What are you talking about?" I asked. What could I have possibly done that would be worse than what he did? I did nothing but cherish him, I changed my lifestyle for him. And he repaid me by sleeping around and breaking the foundation of trust in our lives.
"I know all about your high school hook-up!" Adrian snapped, "I know all about the hidden relationship with your physics teacher, how you got knocked up and couldn't be bothered to be a grown woman about it and got an abortion-"
I guess all the time I had spent learning not to hit people was wasted. My hand snapped out and slapped Adrian hard, my hand burning with the contact.
"That's a lie," I gripped, "I never would have aborted my baby. I had a miscarriage."
"Whatever. You lied about it."
"I never told you about it. There's a difference!" I exclaimed, knowing that whatever dignity I had was dying as we stood here. Everyone had heard him.
"Well, I guess you should have known I would have done my due diligence. I hired a P.I. after I proposed when you were getting all squirely a few months ago."
I scoffed a laugh and shook my head. "Squirely? I suspected you were cheating on me and you turned it around on me!"
"Please. Don't act so surprised, Rose. Did you think that I was going to marry someone without knowing everything about them? I wanted to make sure I wasn't marrying a gold digger or some psycho. So when I realized you weren't telling me everything about your car accident, I figured I needed to find out the truth."
"You had someone steal my medical records? Only four people knew that I was pregnant," I said quietly, feeling almost sick to my stomach. He not only betrayed me by having an affair, but he violated my trust. He violated my privacy.
"Well, I guess my guy is better than the doctors," he said with a shrug. I wasn't sure what to say but someone gently rested their hand on my shoulder, gently pulling me away.
"It's time that you leave," Dimitri said firmly, "I'm only going to ask once."
"Or what?" Adrian drawled cockily, his head tilting as he sized Dimitri up.
"It can go one of two ways; I make you, or I have Officers Ashford and Castile escort you to the station for trespassing," he said, looming over him. I crossed my arms over my chest, pursing my lips as I watched the two duke it out.
After a few moments, Mason and Eddie appeared by my side, not necessarily imposing but making their presence known. Adrian glanced at them and then at Dimitri.
"You think any charges would stick? It wouldn't be the first time some side piece tried to get ballsy."
Eddie cleared his throat and stepped forward, telling Adrian that he was being detained and charged. Mason pulled out his phone and called for an active-duty officer. I shook my head to myself as Eddie took Adrian outside with Mason and Dimitri's help, but we could all hear Adrian's protests.
As soon as they were outside I bolted up the stairs, slipping into my bedroom and shutting the door behind me, sliding down the wall. I hugged my knees and took a trembling breath, my head thumping against the wall.
Even though my father promised he would never tell, Adrian did it for him. Adrian easily ruined my reputation, and Dimitri's in one foul swoop.
There was a tentative knock on the door and I wiped my face.
"What?"
"Open the door," Christian said and groaned quietly to myself. Christian jiggled the doorhandle obnoxiously and I sighed, flipping the lock and turning the handle. It opened enough to release from the latch, and he let himself in, shutting the door behind me. He held a bottle in his hand, the liquid amber and I knew what it was the minute I saw it.
He sat down across from me and crossed his legs, extending the bottle to me and then laced his fingers together. I took the bottle and took a swig, grimacing and grunting as the tequila slid down my throat.
"It's not as bad as you think it is," he said and I gave him a dry look before I burst into tears. It was an uncharacteristic thing for me, but I couldn't help it. I felt so hurt and betrayed and I didn't know what to do with that hurt. It hurt more than finding him in bed with another woman.
Christian didn't say anything, didn't move, didn't even make a face. He just sat there and sat with me, letting me get my hurt out, even if it meant sobbing.
"How can you say it's not as bad as I think it is? He hired a PI to get information on me. He disclosed information about my life that I hadn't told other people. Not only is it horrifying, but it's not just me that outed. He outed Dimitri too," I exclaimed, taking another long drink from the bottle. It wasn't the best idea, but it would numb that pain.
"I knew. Not about the miscarriage, but about Belikov. I figured it out just before Christmas. I saw the two of you in his car one night. But I never said anything because it wasn't my place, and you were happy," he said with a small shrug, "I'm sorry about your miscarriage, though. That's really shitty. And it explains why you were so messed up after the accident."
I nodded and took a deep breath, rubbing my brow with the side of my hand that held the bottle.
"What's the mood down there?"
Christian shrugged. "Your dad is distracting Leena, or maybe the other way around. Lissa managed to wrangle some of the people your parents invited, but I think everyone has mutually agreed to not acknowledge what was said. Dimitri is talking to your mom right now. Mason went with Adrian to the station, Eddie is downstairs with Sydney."
I nodded and took another swig before extending it to him. Christian took it and took a sip with a gag. I scoffed a quiet laugh and rubbed my hand roughly over my face. Christian stood up and rolled his shoulders.
"When you're ready, come downstairs. Your mom's ham smells fantastic, and we both know that eating will make you feel better," he said, clapping my shoulder before leaving my room.
I felt very hot when I opened my eyes. hot like I did if Adrian laid too close to me when we slept. My eyes felt like sandpaper when I opened them, and I groaned quietly when the dull light met them. I looked to find the source of the heat and smiled softly.
Leena was sprawled in the bed beside me, her arm and leg flung over me while her head rested on my chest. I ran my fingers through her hair and looked to the other side of the bed. The sheets and duvet were rumpled and unstraightened. I sighed quietly and looked at my nightstand as my phone buzzed. A glass of water was on the nightstand, almost melted ice cubes still floating inside. I smiled and reached for it, taking a long drink of the water, quenching my dry mouth.
I carefully climbed out of bed, grabbed my long body pillow and put it beside Leena so she couldn't roll off the bed. I moved another pillow to the same position on the other side. I crept out of the room and down the stairs, squinting as I came down the stairs. The curtains had been pulled shut in my room, but they were open downstairs.
There was someone bent over in front of the tree, setting presents down. I recognized the paper and cleared my throat softly, smiling at Dimitri when he stood up.
"Moring," I whispered as I yawned, "I had a cute lil' baby in my bed."
Dimitri nodded and pecked my lips. "Your father invited us to stay the night. It was really late by the time the party winded down," he said as he stroked my cheek softly.
"I don't remember that," I said with a slight chuckle.
Dimitri made a face. "I'm not surprised. You finished the bottle last night."
I grimaced. "Did I make a bigger fool of myself?"
Dimitri pulled me into his arms and rubbed my back.
"No. You stayed upstairs for a while after Christian came back down. When you did come back down, you mostly just ate dinner and stayed to yourself. You fell asleep on the couch with Leena around ten and then your father said we could stay. I didn't think you would mind if we slept in your room."
I shook my head. "No, not at all. It was nice, actually. I mean, you weren't there, but having Leena…it gave me a glimpse of what we could have had."
Dimitri nodded. "I planned on being back upstairs before you woke up. I went to the house to grab Leena's gifts so she could open them," he explained and I nodded, wrapping my arms around his waist and looked up at him.
"I'm sorry about last night," I whispered, guilt filling my gut.
"It's not your fault," he said with a small shake of his head, "I'm not angry."
"He violated both of our privacy!"
"It doesn't matter," he said firmly, "It happened. We knew it could always happen, but that was last night, and thankfully, everyone who was here understands what he did. Yes, it wasn't great for people to find out about our past, but we were consenting adults there, and we are consenting adults now. We didn't break any laws, just moral ideas."
I nodded and he leaned down, pressing a kiss to my head.
I smiled up at him softly. It felt horrible, and it was going to take time for me to stop feeling like that. I heard a clattering of glass and looked around Dimitri, smiling softly.
"Morning, Mom," I said quietly.
Janine had three mugs balanced between her hands, holding the first out to Dimitri and then one to me.
"Hair of the dog," she said quietly. I nodded and took a sip, tasting the Bailey's inside the coffee. I moved to sit down on the couch, pulling my feet up to rest on the edge of the couch. Dimitri sat down beside me, his arm against the back of the couch. I smiled weakly at him and then smiled wider when I heard the pitter-patter of feet above our heads.
"Do we have anything here from Santa?" I whispered.
"The white wrapping paper is from Santa," Dimitri said with a wink, setting his coffee down quietly so that he could catch Leena as she jumped on him. Dimitri grunted and spoke quickly in Russia. I didn't catch all of what he said, but there were a few words that I understood. Baby, morning, I love you.
Leena's hair was mused as she wrapped her arms around Dimitri's neck, her head resting on his shoulder. I ran my fingers over Leena's back, taking a sip of my coffee.
"Did you sleep good, sweetheart?" I asked.
Leena yawned and nodded her head against her father's shoulder, lifting it after a moment and squirmed into my lap, resting her head against me. I kissed the top of her head and caught Dimitri's gaze. It was soft, soft in a way that I hadn't seen before.
"Do you want to wake up Abe? That way we can open presents?" Janine asked after a few moments. Leena looked elated and Janine picked her up, bringing her upstairs to wake my father. At least we knew he couldn't be angry being woken up by that face.
"You're good with her," Dimitri commented as his arm came down from the couch, wrapping around my shoulders.
"Yeah?" I asked.
He nodded. "Mmhmm. It's natural with you. I've never seen anyone interact with her with so much ease, I like it. I sometimes feel like I'm not enough. Being a single parent can be hard sometimes," he explained quietly, his fingers moving my shoulder.
"You're doing the best," I said softly, kissing his cheek when I heard an excited exclaim from upstairs. I snorted a laugh and took another sip of my coffee. After a few minutes, my parents and Leena came downstairs, Leena's excited face beaming as she ran to the tree. She said patiently until Dimitri told her she could open the gifts from Santa. I watched in amusement as she opened her gifts. Most of the gifts from Santa were things like gloves, hats, socks and candy.
Once she opened her gifts from Santa, she looked at Dimitri and he chuckled.
"Okay, go ahead," he said with a chuckle. Leena popped up and grabbed a present that my mother had wrapped and held it in her hands. She walked towards Dimitri and read the tag.
"Bring that to Abe," he whispered and Leena skipped across the living room, almost throwing it in his lap. I knew what was in the package so I wasn't concerned about it breaking. Leena seemed to take on the role of the gift passer, bringing everyone a gift before she opened one. It was quite sweet and I couldn't help but smile, not because of the gifts, but because of her happiness.
"Roza! This one next!" Leena exclaimed, pointing to a badly wrapped gift. I chuckled and slipped off the couch, sitting on the floor next to her. It looked a little too big for her, and she seemed to know she couldn't lift it. I tore the paper off and chuckled, tilting my head back to smile at Dimitri.
"My favourite," I giggled, pulling the case of Mexican cola towards me. Dimitri grinned at me and joked about how he didn't expect it to last long. I rolled my eyes, but I knew he wasn't wrong either. I reached under the tree and handed it to Leena.
"Give this to your daddy," I whispered and watched her hop towards him to give it to him.
"You didn't need to get me anything, Roza," he mused as he opened it, a grin crossing his face when he saw it.
"You're a snooper," he teased.
"It was on the counter!" I exclaimed with a laugh. Dimitri smiled and kissed my forehead with a quiet thank you. I hummed and handed another gift to Leena.
"This one is from me," I said as she sat down. She nodded and opened the gift, tearing the paper off in excitement before holding it in her hands. It wasn't anything crazy; a stuffed doll that looked like a fairy. It had blue eyes and brown hair, with a fake necklace sown on that said Leena.
She looked at it for a few moments before she flung her arms around me. I hugged her back and kissed her head.
"Thanks, mama," she whispered. I stilled for a second, unsure what to do. My eyes drifted towards Dimitri, knowing that he definitely heard her. He didn't say anything and gave me a calming look, as Leena pulled back. I looked back at her and smiled at her beaming face.
"You're welcome," I whispered, tucking her hair away from her face.
I watched the snow fall as I washed the dishes from breakfast. I wasn't really watching, but I was at the same time. I set the plates in the drying rack and flicked the water off my hands.
"You're acting strange this morning," Abe said, making me jump. I turned and looked at him and shrugged.
"It's been a strange twenty-four hours," I mused and turned, leaning against the counter. Dimitri was in the living room with Janine and I took a deep breath.
"Leena called me 'mama' this morning," I said quietly.
"And that freaks you out," he supplied.
"Yes, and not. It felt…good. And I don't want her to build that kind of connection when I have to go back to NYC in a month and a half, and I don't know when I'll be back, aside from communicating on this project at the Academy. I don't want to let her down," I explained and I sighed, running my hands through my hair.
"Children usually don't call people mom or dad unless they feel that kind of connection or comfort. Did Belikov say anything?"
"No, not yet. But he heard her."
"Have you and him discussed the intent of your relationship? Is it more of a filling a void, or do you think that I may become more serious?"
I bit my lip and crossed my arms. I didn't want to be the type of person to jump into another relationship after ending an engagement. I haven't completely gotten over the pain of the end of my relationship, but being around Dimitri made the pain easier to deal with and easier to face and process.
"I don't know. I mean, I'd like it to become something real, because we kind of missed out of that opportunity, but I don't want to dive into something when I'm not sure I know who I am anymore. You know what I mean? I changed a lot in my relationship with Adrian."
Abe nodded and walked closer to me, hugging me gently.
"I think that you should talk to him. You'd be surprised what that would do," he said softly. I gave him a semidry look.
"You're the one telling me to talk to someone," I mused.
Abe shrugged and patted my head.
"Talk to him," he reiterated as he walked out of the kitchen.
