A/N: Hey guys! Chapter Twelve is here! I'm so pleased to finally be giving y'all this chapter. Everything has been busy non-stop lately, but I hope I can find more opportunities to fit writing into my schedule soon. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and if you do and have time to review, I'd greatly appreciate it. Happy reading!


Chapter Twelve

January 30, 1893

"Alright my little loves, Mama has a secret to tell you," Cora said softly, brushing her hand lightly over Edith's fringe.

"What is it, Mama?" Edith asked excitedly.

"Is it something special?" Mary piped in, inching closer to her mother's side and resting her head on her shoulder as Cora adjusted Edith's position on her lap slightly.

"I hope you'll think it's very special," Cora answered, knowing her daughters might have a hard time with it at first but hoping they would come around soon enough. "Your Papa and I sure think it is."

"Ooo," Edith said excitedly, and Mary seemed intrigued as well. The mention of their father had both of them on the edge of their seats. Cora loved how much her girls favored their daddy though she had to admit she was a little jealous. She wouldn't trade her family for the world though. It was perfect just as it was. And it was growing.

"Well, my darlings, you are going to be big sisters soon. There's a baby in Mama's belly," Cora said sweetly.

"Really?" Edith asked, immediately putting her ear on Cora's stomach as if she could hear the baby.

"Yes, really, my love," Cora said, rubbing her daughter's back gently. "They're too little for you to feel right now, but soon I'll get bigger and you'll be able to feel some kicks as the baby grows.

"Whoa," Edith exclaimed excitedly. Cora smiled at her excitedly before turning to Mary who hadn't said anything yet. She knew she might be having a harder time with this than Edith because she was more aware of all the attention a new baby would need and would likely not be thrilled about it. Edith had never experienced this before, but Mary had. While she had thought she had done a good job of making sure Mary still got attention from one of her parents each day, she supposed maybe it had not been enough.

"Mary, love, how do you feel about this?" Cora asked.

"Angry," Mary admitted honestly. "I know I love it, but I don't want it to take away my time with you and Papa."

Cora was pleased with how well her daughter articulated her feelings. She hoped she could say something thoughtful to help her daughter process them and give her the reassurance she needed.

"It's alright to feel angry or upset. But I want you to know your Papa and I will do our absolute best to make sure you and Edith still get lots of time with us even when the new baby is here. One of us will read you a story before bed every night just like always, and you'll still be able to play with us at tea and have cuddles when you need or want them. Things might be a little different, but we'll always love you just the same. Do you understand?"

Mary nodded, tears forming slightly in her eyes. "Oh, my love, it's alright. Mama's got you," Cora said, gently shifting Edith off her lap and scooping Mary up into her arms. "I'm right here, darling. I've got you," Cora soothed quietly, rocking slightly and rubbing her daughter's back as she cried softly. She knew Mary was feeling a lot of emotions that were hard for her little self to process, so she gave her the love she needed to get through it. That didn't mean Mary wouldn't still be upset for a while, but it didn't mean she understood she could come to her mother if she needed help. And Cora hoped she knew that would always be the case.


After Mary had cried with her mom for a while, she was exhausted and needed a nap. Cora had sat with her till she fell asleep but had decided to give her daughter a little space to process things lest her presence remind her how upset she was. That may have been a mistake though because the second Nanny took her eyes off of her, Mary snuck down to Carson's pantry with the intention of running away.

"Now, Miss Mary, why do you want to run away?" Carson asked her upon hearing her request for some silver to sell and some food to eat on her journey. He gently brought her into his lap so they could be at eye level for this chat.

"Mama's having a new baby, and now she won't be able to play with me. I told her I was angry about the baby, and I..I don't want Mama to be upset with me for being angry about it."

"Did she say she was upset with you about it?" Charles asked her.

"No," Mary answered softly, leaning her head on the butler's chest as he hugged her closer. "She said it was alright to be upset, but I..I don't know. I don't think it's how a proper big sissy should feel."

"You don't?"

Mary shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes again. Charles ran his hand along her arm gently to settle her as he held her to him. "Miss Mary, I think you're being very hard on yourself. It's normal for siblings to argue sometimes or be upset with one another."

"It is?"

"Mhm," the wise butler confirmed. "In fact, I remember I was quite upset when my mother told me she was pregnant with my brother."

"You were?" she asked, sniffling.

"I was. I thought she wouldn't have time for me anymore. I was upset we wouldn't go to the market just the two of us anymore and she wouldn't help me with my trains anymore. But you know what happened? She still did take me on little trips to the market and buy me licorice just for me sometimes, even when my brother was born. And she still helped me set up my model trains when I needed help, too."

"Your brother didn't take all her time?"

"No. Sometimes I had to wait a bit if she was feeding or changing him, but she always came and spent time with me eventually. And when I was waiting for her, I would draw her a picture and show it to her when she came to be with me. She would hang them on the wall above her desk."

"Will I have to draw a picture while I wait for Mama to feed the new baby?"

"Perhaps you could try that. Or you could play with Edith."

"Do you think I'm a good big sister, Carson?" Mary asked then. The mention of Edith must have led her back to that. Carson suspected her insecurities around being a good big sister were likely a big part of the reason she was upset about becoming a big sister for a second time.

"You are a wonderful big sister, sweetheart," Carson said assuringly. "Who taught Edith to ride her bike?"

"I did," Mary answered softly, "Well, Nanny helped, but it was mostly me."

"See," Carson said, helping her draw conclusions about how vital she was in her sister's life. "And you've been helping her learn to write her name, haven't you?"

Mary nodded proudly. "She's almost got it now, Carson."

"Now do you see how important and special you are?"

Mary nodded her head against Charles's chest. "I guess I'll stay then," she mumbles softly into his shirt and shrugging her shoulders before settling against him and closing her eyes slightly.

Charles ran his hand down her back gently and pressed a soft kiss to her hair. "I'm so glad to hear that. So glad."

"Can I come to you if the baby is crying too much?" Mary asked quietly after a time, making Charles chuckle.

"Of course you can, darling. You can always come to me if you need some extra cuddles or attention. And you can play with Lily when she comes back from school of course. We're always here for you," he assured her, holding her close and giving her the cuddles she needed before she decided she was ready to go back upstairs and play with her sister.

Once he had sent her on her way, he saw his wife poke her head into the door asking if she could come in, and of course he said yes.

"I saw you with Miss Mary," she revealed. "I find it quite appealing how good you are with her," she said a bit flirtatiously.

"You were eavesdropping, eh?" Charles teased her.

"No!" she said in mock offense. "I was coming here to ask if Mrs. Ginn had left the timetables with you from when I was gone on leave with Julie. But then I saw you had a visitor already, so I waited my turn."

"And you listened while you waited," he insisted teasingly.

"Alright fine," Elsie admitted. "And I loved what I saw. Charlie, you are such a great godfather to her and an amazing father to our girls too. I love you so much."

"I love you too," he said, rising and coming over to wrap his arms around her gently. She leaned into him for a moment, relishing in his embrace and this pause from their work. She had been working hard to get back into a routine since coming back to work after Julie's birth, but it was so nice to pause and remember what really mattered: her family.

"You're so important to me, Charlie," she murmured as she laid her head on his chest.

"You and our girls are the most special people to me, Els," he affirmed, placing a kiss on her temple as he brushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

After a long moment of just letting herself be held by her husband, she removed herself from his arms and looked up to place a kiss to his lips. "So, about those timetables?" she asked with a laugh.

"Right here, love," he said, pulling them out of his desk and handing them over. She thanked him and started to walk away, but he stopped her saying, "Don't I get a kiss as payment?"

"Of course," she said, turning around and locking lips with him once again. "And you'll get even more than that tonight," she said saucily.

"I look forward to it," he said, his voice husky.

"Me too, love," Elsie agreed, smirking, "Me too."


February 14, 1893

"Do you need help cutting out your heart, Edie?" Lily asked, as she watched Mary and Edith color their cards. She had helped them make cards for Saint Valentine's Day for their parents. It would be time for them to go down to see them for tea soon, and she wanted to help them with the finishing touches they were still too little to do. Mary, at nearly five, could write her name and a couple easy words like "love." She had made the entire card herself once Lily had cut it out for her. For Edith, she had written the message the 3 year old dictated to her and then left her to color. Now it just needed to be cut out, and then they could go downstairs.

"Yes, peas," Edith said, handing over her paper to the older girl. Lily smiled and cut it out for her.

"Here you go," she said, handing it back to her with a broad smile.

"You think Mama and Papa will like it?" Mary asked.

"I think they'll love it!" Lily said encouragingly. "You both did such lovely jobs with your pictures, and I think it'll make them so happy."

"Yay!" the girls cheered in unison, "Thank you, Lily!"

"You're welcome, loves."


Cora and Robert were grateful for the cards, and they had made sure their girls knew that. They gave them kisses and cuddles and said lots of kind words about their drawings. Now, their girls were resting on their laps as Robert was telling them one of his many mythological tales. It was a good distraction from the grief that often accompanied him and Cora this time of year. Even though today was their anniversary, they didn't really feel like celebrating. Two days ago had been the anniversary of Silas's stillbirth. It was hard to celebrate their anniversary when they remembered that their first ever anniversary had been spent mourning the loss of their little baby boy. Despite that, they were still immensely grateful for the girls they had had since then and the baby that was on the way.

With Cora pregnant once again, it was important to her that they not dwell too much on their loss as it would make her anxious about losing another. However, she still made an effort to remember her boy and thank him for watching over them from his place in Heaven. Even though she didn't feel like celebrating Saint Valentine's Day or her anniversary much, the cards from her girls had been the perfect reminder of how loved she was, and the cuddles her family was currently enjoying were the perfect reminder of how much she had to be thankful for. Her family was her world, and they always would be.


March 1893

"You ready?" Lily asked Mary as they hid behind the cupboard in the servant's hall. They had decorated the table with paper snowflakes and hearts and had gotten Mrs. Patmore to make some biscuits and mini sandwiches to help them celebrate her father's birthday. They were going to surprise him when he came downstairs after clearing away from luncheon.

Mary nodded as she heard the butler's footsteps at the bottom of the stairs. When they heard Charles enter the servant's hall, they popped out from behind the china cabinet yelling "surprise!"

Charles was genuinely surprised as he had no idea what his daughter and Mary had been up to lately. He was so impressed by their planning and how they managed to keep it a secret. "Well, I'll be! Aren't you two just the most impressive masterminds, eh? This is wonderful," he said, surveying the food that had been laid out on the table with an eager smile before his eyes caught a glimpse of a few shiny wrapped presents at the end of the table. "Are those for me?" he asked the children sweetly.

Mary and Lily nodded eagerly, excited to watch him open his presents. "We'll bring them to you. Sit down, Carson," Mary proclaimed, making Charles chuckle as he did as he was told.

He happily unwrapped one of the presents wrapped in butcher paper. It was from Beryl, a book on Medieval literature he had been wanting for quite some time. He thanked her for the present and took a bite of one of her sandwiches, thanking her for cooking too. Next, Elsie asked him to unwrap the present from her and Julie wrapped in striped paper. He tore into eagerly, making a silly face at his baby girl to show her how happy he was. It was a new scarf and pair of socks Elsie had knitted him. He expressed his gratitude to his wife and then heard his eldest daughter's voice, "Open mine next, dad!" Soon, a package wrapped in silver wrapping was being shoved into his chest. He huffed at the force before quickly taking it and opening it.

"Oh, Lily, this is so lovely," he said sweetly in response to seeing the calligraphy set his daughter had gotten him. "Thank you so much, my darling," he said, drawing her into his arms and pressing a kiss to her hair.

"I know how much you like writing letters," Lily said thoughtfully, and his heart swelled with pride at how kind and sentimental his daughter was. He was so lucky to have her in his life.

"Open mine. The best one for last," Mary said insistently, making everyone in the room chuckle under their breath at the little girl's sass. Charles smiled as he saw the red-wrapped box still left on the table. It was Mary's favorite color. Of course it was from her. He couldn't wait to see what it was.

He took his time opening the wrapping paper just to tease the little girl slightly, making her impatient. Eventually, he opened it and saw a new tie inside the box. It was a nice solid black color and crisp from the ironing it must've received before being put into the box. Underneath the tie, however, was something else, he noticed. He pulled it out and realized he was holding two slips of paper the size of tickets. He quickly read the writing on the paper. Spring Dance 1893. For godfathers and goddaughters only. Formal attire required.

Tears sprung up behind his eyes. Obviously Mary wanted him to dance with her, and it must've been a serious desire for her as he realized she had gotten Elsie to help her make these formal "tickets" to the dance. He'd be honored to dance with her, and he was so grateful she wanted him to.

"So will you go?" he heard Mary ask.

He looked at her sincerely, taking her chin in his hand and gently running his thumb across her cheek as he replied. "Of course. It'd be my honor."

"Do you think you can get your dancing shoes polished by tomorrow night?" Mary asked eagerly, wanting to dance with him as soon as possible.

"For you, little one, anything," he assured her. "You just make sure you're ready, and I'll come by your room to pick you up after tea. How does that sound?"

"Great," Mary said, nodding her head rapidly in excitement.

"Stupendous! I can't wait to see all the dance moves you have in store for me," he added proudly. "I know you'll shine on the dance floor."

Their plans were settled when Elsie informed him later that night she had spoken to his lordship about Mary's plans already and gotten approval for them to have some time in the Granthams' private ballroom for a couple hours the next day. Mary will have already eaten her dinner, but Elsie planned to set out some juice and biscuits for them to have as refreshments during their dance together. It would be a nice treat for Mary before she went off to bed, and Elsie knew her husband would love it too. He absolutely adored Mary, and he felt so honored to have such a meaningful presence in her life. He hoped she would always look up to him like this, though he knew things might change once she was older and more mature. Elsie, however, knew otherwise. Mary was besotted with Carson, and she always would be. He would always be the person she came to when she needed help or advice, and their dances would always be something she cherished no matter how old she became. Even when she got bigger and could no longer stand on Charles's toes as they danced, she would always remember and think fondly of the days when she did. And so would he.


A/N: I did my own take of the Mary running away backstory, but if you want to read a beautiful and touching version that fits perhaps more closely to the canon than mine, check out my bestie's one shot called "A Guinea A Minute." Savannah, aka DowntonAuthor, did such a beautiful job with depicting the Carson/Mary dynamic in that!