"Joanne!" A familiar voice made Joanne turn around.

"Annette, hello." Joanne greeted the other woman with a brief hug. "I didn't know Timothy was playing football this season."

"I think Chris was the one that talked him into it." Annette laughed. "I don't know whether I regret it or not."

Joanne managed a smile at that. "To tell you the truth, I wasn't sure if Chris was going to play this season or not. He didn't make up his mind until a couple weeks ago."

Annette nodded sympathetically. "How is he doing? I know we haven't spoken much since baseball wrapped up."

"Better." Joanne replied. "It depends on the day."

"I'm sure that's true for all of you." Annette suddenly seemed to look over Joanne's shoulder. "Oh, I believe that's your friend. Johnny, right?"

Joanne turned her head to see Johnny amble in, looking around until he spotted Joanne, acknowledging her with that familiar half-smile and a nod as he made his way over. "Hey Jo. Sorry I'm late."

"Oh, you're fine." Joanne assured him, something going through her at the feel of his hand between her shoulder blades. "You remember Annette."

"Sure do." Johnny answered with a nod. "Good to see you."

"You as well." Annette beamed. "It's so nice to see you support Chris. I'm sure he appreciates it."

"Guess we'll see." Johnny replied before turning to Joanne. "Where are the kids, anyway?"

"Eileen came to stay with them while I was here." Joanne told him. "They'd be bored to death."

"I get it." Johnny responded. "Kinda feel the same about any kind of meeting myself."

Annette let out a short laugh before they all found their seats and settled in for the meeting. Joanne had sat through so many of these for the kids' activities that they all seemed to run together now. The coach discussed expectations for the season, practice schedules, and game schedules. Next was the parent volunteer coordinator, discussing fundraising opportunities and volunteer positions. Joanne knew there would be a slew of sign-up sheets for various volunteer activities. She was exhausted just thinking about it.

On the other hand, all the volunteering would keep her busy, with less time to think about everything else that was going on in her life. Each day seemed to get a little better, and she felt as if she was mostly moving forward, no longer so mired in her grief.

But then again, there were still days when something as simple as a song on the radio would undo her. Just yesterday, after leaving the church preschool to discuss a volunteer position, she had turned on the car to hear "…and the cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon…little boy blue and the man in the moon…"

She had sat in the church parking lot sobbing for God knew how long before she'd been able to pull it together to drive home. Thankfully, the kids had both been at school, and by the time they got home, she'd been able to plaster a smile on her face and carry on as if nothing had happened.

The rustle of papers jerked her out of her thoughts, and she took the pile from Johnny and passed it on. This was an equipment list. Just looking at it overwhelmed her again. First all of Jenny's dance items, now this.

She would manage, of course, but it seemed like an awful lot of money once she started adding it up in her head.

"Man, that's an awful lot of stuff." Johnny commented with a frown. "Is all of this necessary?"

"I'm afraid so." Joanne managed a laugh. "Welcome to the world of kids' sports."

"Crazy." Johnny shook his head. "Now I know why I didn't play much. All I did was track, and that wasn't until high school."

Joanne immediately felt a twinge of guilt. Of course, she and Roy had been far from rich, but were always able to put aside the money for the kids to participate in their chosen activities. Obviously that hadn't been the case for Johnny. "Well, he should get a couple of years out of some of these things. It's not as bad as it sounds."

"Suppose you're right." Johnny studied the list. "You know, I could pick up a couple of these things if you want."

"Oh, you don't have to do that." Joanne replied.

Johnny smiled ever so slightly. "I don't mind. Wouldn't have offered otherwise."

Joanne had to admit she was considering taking Johnny up on his offer. "Why don't I let you know, okay?"

"Okay." Johnny nodded. "Think I'll probably check out some of these sign-ups, see where they can use me."

"Careful." Joanne warned him. "They'll have you doing everything but mowing the field. And they might rope you into that, too."

Johnny looked greatly amused at that, lightly squeezing Joanne's hand before rising from his seat and making his way toward the sign-ups.

Annette almost immediately scooted down. "It's so nice to see your…friend so involved."

Joanne didn't care for the implication Annette was making. "Yes, he's been an absolute rock ever since Roy died."

"I see that." Annette glanced over to where Johnny was talking to the volunteer coordinator. "It's just good that Chris has a father figure, you know? It's so important for boys."

Joanne wasn't sure Chris felt that way, given his attitude after church the other day and his attitude tonight as she was preparing to go to this meeting. It seemed he'd almost rather Johnny not be there at all.

She could understand that. As good a man as Johnny was, he wasn't Roy, and never would be. It was too much to expect either of the kids to accept anyone in Roy's place, though Jenny seemed much more accepting in that respect than Chris did.

It was too soon for that. Joanne knew she should take her own advice.

"Oh, of course." Joanne agreed, deciding to keep her thoughts to herself. "I should go look over the sign-ups myself. I'll see you at practice."

"Certainly." Annette rose as Joanne did and gave her a quick hug. "And of course, if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask."

Joanne left Annette behind to meet up with Johnny, who was stuck in conversation with the volunteer coordinator. The other woman lit up when she saw Joanne. "Joanne! It's so nice to see you. I've been having the nicest conversation with your friend here."

Johnny clearly seemed relieved to see Joanne, resting a hand at the small of her back. "You were right, Jo. I signed up for so many things that mowing the field might be on the list."

The other woman laughed, lightly smacking Johnny on the shoulder. "What a character. Joanne, I'm sure you have all sorts of ideas for fundraisers. We're having a meeting later this week."

"Wonderful, I'll be there." Joanne agreed.

After talking to a few more of the parents and the coach, Joanne and Johnny finally made their way out of the meeting. As soon as they got outside, Joanne let out a heavy sigh. "I really thought I had heard the last of everyone's sympathy. Goodness. I just saw most of these people during baseball season."

Johnny's brow wrinkled in concern. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, of course." Joanne waved him off. "Sometimes it just feels as if it's never really over."

"Yeah." Johnny responded quietly, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Got lots of folks telling me how great it was that I was being a father figure to Chris. Not sure how true that is."

Joanne placed a hand on Johnny's arm. "You're a good friend of the family. That's worth an awful lot."

Johnny scoffed. "Friend. Sure."

Joanne took in a deep breath and exhaled quietly. "Perhaps a little more than a friend."

Johnny's eyes flicked up to meet hers, his brows knitted together in a frown. "I don't know what I'm doing here, Jo. I don't."

Joanne wasn't sure exactly what Johnny was talking about. "If this is about the other night—"

"It's not just that, Jo." Johnny moved a little closer, glancing around the parking lot. "It's, well, everything. I don't know. Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill."

"You do tend to do that." Joanne attempted a light tone.

Johnny shook his head. "Suppose I'd better let you get home."

"Why don't you stop over?" Joanne suggested.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, Jo."

"Just for dinner." Joanne told him. "The kids have school in the morning and I have a million things to do to get them ready."

Johnny considered this for a moment before nodding. "If it's not too much of an imposition."

"If it was, I wouldn't have invited you." Joanne told him firmly.

Johnny managed a slight smile at that. "Then I'll see you in a few."

With that, the two of them departed to their own vehicles, and Joanne sighed heavily as she started the car. If Johnny had regrets about the other night, Joanne wouldn't be terribly surprised. Heaven knows she was still debating with herself over the whole thing.

Well, if it was only the one time, so be it. It would probably be better that way.

She pulled into the garage shortly before Johnny pulled in behind her, and she shut off the car before climbing out and entering the house through the door that connected the house and the garage.

"Mom!" Jenny shouted as she rushed to meet Joanne. "Uncle Johnny's here, too."

"I know." Joanne told her. "I invited him over for some dinner. Is that okay?"

"Uh-huh." Jenny nodded before racing off again. "Chris, Uncle Johnny's here!"

Eileen immediately greeted Joanne with a quick hug. "They're all fed and bathed. I was just about to get them to bed when you showed up."

"Thank you." Joanne hugged her sister back in response, spotting Johnny coming up the front walk.

Eileen turned when the screen door opened and Johnny entered. "Hey, Eileen."

"Johnny." Eileen nodded before turning back to Joanne and speaking in a lower tone. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"I'll call you later." Joanne told her in an equally quiet tone.

"That doesn't answer the question."

"I said I'll call you later." Joanne told her more firmly. "Kids, say good night to your aunt!"

The kids came out and hugged Eileen in turn with murmured good nights, and Eileen threw Joanne one last look before leaving.

"Uncle Johnny, will you read to us?" Jenny immediately accosted Johnny.

Johnny glanced at Joanne. "If it's okay with your mom."

Joanne nodded. "I suppose."

Jenny raced off, and Johnny shrugged helplessly as he followed. It wasn't long before Joanne heard the familiar words floating from Jenny's room.

She decided to use the time to clean up a bit, make sure the kids' lunches were packed for tomorrow and that any paperwork she needed to fill out for school was complete. The beginning of the school year always seemed to mean filling out a thousand forms, and this year was certainly no different.

After packing the kids' lunches, she sat down at the dining room table to start filling out the forms. She started filling out Chris's name at the top of the form, along with their address and his date of birth, then filling in her own information under 'mother'.

It was the next line that stopped her in her tracks. Of course, she should have expected that she would have to fill this out, but she didn't expect it to hit her so hard.

She filled in Roy's name and date of birth, her pen hovering above the little box beneath. It suddenly became blurry, and she blinked hard, willing the tears not to fall.

Of course, she failed. She checked the little box and set the pen down, burying her face in her hands as she chided herself. It was just a little box marked 'deceased'. It shouldn't have completely undone her.

"Jo?" Johnny's voice broke into her thoughts, and she lifted her head from her hands.

He immediately rushed to her, coming up behind her chair to wrap his arms around her. "Shh, it's okay, Jo. It's okay."

"It's a box." Joanne huffed. "A stupid little box on a stupid little form."

Johnny reached out to pull the form closer. "Yeah, I see what you mean."

"I don't know what's wrong with me." Joanne managed to get out. "I was just going along, filling out the form and then…well."

Johnny didn't say anything in response, simply holding her until the tears stopped and Joanne was able to pull herself together. She placed a hand over his, squeezing lightly. "I'm sorry. Thank you."

"Sure." Johnny answered, pressing a kiss to her cheek before releasing her. "Did you eat yet? I can get you something."

She almost told him that he didn't have to, but she felt so emotionally wrung out that even that simple task seemed Herculean. "Dinner's still on the stove."

"I'll dish us up." Johnny offered.

Joanne returned to the forms, finishing Chris's and moving on to Jenny's. As she did so, a plate appeared on the table beside the form. "Thank you."

"Sure, no problem." Johnny replied as he took a seat at the table across from her with his own plate. "You gotta fill those out every year?"

"Yes." Joanne answered. "It's just the first time I've had to fill them out since Roy died. I suppose if checking off a box on a form is all it takes for me to fall apart, I'm not doing as well as I thought."

Johnny smiled slightly at that. "I was driving home after shift yesterday and some song came on the radio. Had to pull over. Couldn't see where I was going."

"It wasn't 'Cat's in the Cradle', was it?"

"No." Johnny shook his head. "Something else. Can't remember now. Just remember it was one Roy used to sing around the station. Used to drive Chet nuts."

Joanne couldn't help laughing a little despite the few tears that remained, her thoughts suddenly sobering. "Johnny, what are we doing?"

Johnny's expression sobered, and he paused mid-bite, putting down his fork. "I don't know, Jo. I don't know."

He looked thoughtful for a long moment before speaking again. "I don't regret any of it. Not really. You're a great woman, Jo, and I care about you and the kids an awful lot. Just can't help wondering if, you know, maybe I'm doing more than I should."

Something clutched in Joanne at that, even as she knew Johnny was probably at least partially right. They were clinging to each other, trying to get themselves through the grief and the hurt. Maybe there were some very real feelings for each other mixed in there, but it was hard to tell. "I don't know if you're doing more than you should. You do a lot, and I appreciate every bit of it, and I know the kids do, too."

Johnny lifted his head and stared off at a spot in the distance, a troubled expression on his face. "Just don't know if I can be what you guys need. I wanna be, but Christ, Jo, I'm no good at this. Can't keep a woman around to save my life. I always screw it up. And you know, it's one thing when it's some girl. This is different. I screw this up, I screw up a whole family. I've already screwed this family up enough."

Johnny's voice went rough at that last bit, and Joanne reached across the table for Johnny's hand. "Listen. Maybe you're right. Maybe we should…step back. Just be friends. But know that you did not screw up this family. We're still a family. It just looks a little different now. And believe me, you're still very much a part of this family. You always will be."

Johnny squeezed Joanne's hand lightly, managing a bit of a halfhearted smile, though the hurt still showed on his face. "I hope Roy appreciated what he had while he had it."

Joanne couldn't help smiling at that. "I think he usually did."

"Good." Johnny nodded, squeezing her hand one more time before releasing it.

They finished dinner while Joanne finished filling out the seemingly endless pile of forms, and Johnny finally rose to leave. Joanne walked with him to the door, and Johnny wrapped her up in a tight hug, kissing the top of her head. "I hope you don't take any of this the wrong way."

"I don't." Joanne told him firmly, hugging him tightly in response. "It'll be better this way."

"Yeah." Johnny agreed, though Joanne wasn't sure he sounded as if he was convinced. "Good night, Jo. I love you. You know, like family."

Joanne let out a short laugh. "Yes, like family."

With that, Johnny let her go, and he headed out to the Rover, starting it up and turning on the headlights before backing out of the driveway.

She sighed heavily as she closed the door and locked it. Even though she knew they were making the right decision, she still felt a pull toward Johnny.

Maybe that feeling would dissipate in time. Only time would tell.