She wakes up, not sure how long she's been asleep. It takes a moment for her to recognize where she is, then it dawns on her EXACTLY where she is and who she's with. Wheeler is spooned behind her, one of his arms pillowing her head while the other is draped over her midsection. The clock reads 1:07pm.

It's all coming back to her. Every little detail, including what led them to this moment. Neither embryo took. Both of the lives she and Wheeler had created, with some help from science, were dead. She was not pregnant and most likely never would be. He seemed just as disappointed about it as she was. She felt guilty for not being able to give him what he wanted. She wanted so badly to give him a child. She thought that if it worked, she could allow herself to finally be honest with her feelings for him. If indeed she could have been the one to make him a father, there would be nothing holding her back from allowing herself to be happy. But that wasn't the case, so now what? Can she be selfish and keep him to herself? Or should she stick with her gut and let him go, even after what they just shared? Give him the opportunity to be a father. To get that #1 Dad coffee mug he wanted so badly.

As she lays there, she thinks about what this moment would be like if she were "normal." At some point it would have hit her that they had unprotected sex, and she would have been worried about an unplanned pregnancy. She would have been freaking out. What would it mean for the Planeteers? What would it mean for the two of them? What would their families think? She looks at the ring on her finger. Would he place it there for real and not as a ruse for the fertility doctor's benefit?

None of that matters. Nothing matters anymore.

She gently lifts his arm and crawls out from under the covers, gathering her pajamas from the foot of the other bed before heading to the bathroom to shower.


He wakes up to find his arms are empty and so is his bed. The sound of the shower clues him in on Linka's whereabouts. He contemplates going to her but thinks better of it. A lot has happened in the last few weeks. Hell, the last four hours was a bit of a whirlwind. She probably would like some space. When she's had some time to herself, some time to think, she'll come back to him.

When the water turns off and a few moments pass, Wheeler closes his eyes and pretends to still be asleep. He feels the blankets lift and then fall back over him as she tucks him in and then moves to climb into her own bed. He's surprised she's gone back to bed. He's slept until 1:30pm plenty of times, but this is unlike her. He tries not to read too much into it. Maybe she just didn't want to disturb him. He shouldn't have pretended to be asleep; that is probably what sent her away. He should have smiled up at her and pulled the covers back, opening his arms for her to crawl back into.

There was so much he wanted to say to her. They barely said a single word to each other the whole time they were making love. He knew her soft sobs had more to do with her heart breaking than it did with any pain or discomfort. Now he is the one who feels like he needs to clear his head. He gets out of bed to take his turn in the shower, but when he gets back, he intends to crawl into bed behind and say what he wishes he'd said last night, "I've waited so long for this. Wanted this so badly. But now...I never imagined how much I would NEED this. Need you," as he kisses her behind the ear. He contemplates foregoing his shower and going to her now, but he knows what a neat freak she is and would probably prefer he get washed up before joining her in her clean bed. He shakes his head and smiles as he grabs a fresh pair of boxers from his suitcase, loving everything about her, even her cleanly quirks.


Once Linka hears the shower turn on, she gets out of bed to head outside, needing some air and space. She notices the ring box sitting on the dresser and places his grandmother's diamond ring back in its place. Hopefully someday, he would be able to find someone he felt he could give it to.

She goes deep into the woods, not wanting to be found if Wheeler comes out and walks around the cabin looking for her.

"Gaia? Gaia…I need to speak with you."

The spirit materializes in front of Linka.

"Hello Linka…are you ok?"

"Nyet. I have made a mistake."

"What's wrong?"

"I do not know what it is…I cannot make up my mind. I know what I want."

"A baby?"

"Nyet…well, da there is that…WAS that. I was talking about Wheeler. We…things changed this morning. He loves me. I love him. We told each other."

"Good for you. I am happy for you both…so what is the problem?"

"It is wrong of me to be so selfish. I know he said he does not care that we cannot have a child of our own…but he does want a family. He has admitted that before and now that is not possible if he is with me."

"But he's chosen you?" Gaia asks.

"Da…but he has spent so many years THINKING that I was the girl for him, what if now he cannot admit to himself or to me that that is not the case? What if he is only doing what he thinks is the right thing?"

"Wheeler does have a tendency to do the right thing…and he's never wrong about that. Why would you think that it's wrong now?"

"Because…because…I do not know why…today has been so…how can the worst day of my life also be the best? The most devastating thing and the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced occurred within minutes of each other."

"I don't know Linka…I'm probably not the best person to be having this conversation with…considering I'm NOT a person. The things you're feeling, I'll never know. I wish I could help. Perhaps I can bring Gi here?"

"Nyet!" Linka says quickly. "She would be too focused on the physical. I need help processing the emotional."

"Then maybe you shouldn't be out here, and you should be inside talking to Wheeler. He has been on the same emotional rollercoaster with you…and I have a pretty good feeling he would agree about being devastated about the news but thrilled about the step forward your relationship has taken."

"Has it? Or has it taken a step backwards because of how it happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"I used him! He was just comforting me, and I let it go too far. I encouraged him. He has been so strong for me, been there for me when I needed him, and now I have to break his heart."

"Why?"

"I do not know how many times I have to say this until people start believing me. I am not worth it. He is too good for me. He says he does not care, and I believe that he will stay with me…and at first, it will be enough. He will be satisfied, but eventually, he will grow restless. People who do not know my story will constantly ask, 'when are you two going to have children?' and the more they ask, the more he will realize that he did not choose wisely. No matter what I want, or how badly I want it, I have to be the one to make the hard decisions."

"Linka…"

"I cannot do this right now. I need to be alone."

"What are you saying?"

"Send me home. To my family."

"You realize this will hurt him?" Gaia warns.

"Da…but better for him to hate me now than to spend years loving each other and then have him grow to hate me for depriving him of a family."

"This isn't like you, Linka. You are making a rash decision, and you always think things through. Please…if you want to get away to clear your head, fine. I will send you back home but reconsider your decision. Don't make it a permanent move and don't try to make decisions FOR Wheeler. Think about what happened this morning and the moments that led up to your union. It wasn't just him comforting you during a sad time. It has been building up to this for years. I am sure you considered it carefully, despite feeling like it was a heat of the moment decision. I know that you know deep down he is your soulmate, and you are his. You may choose to be alone, but in pushing him away, you are also choosing for him to be alone. He will not ever get over you. You know it's true."

Linka doesn't want to hear anymore. Her mind is made up and she's nothing if not stubborn.

"I am ready. Send me now…please."

"Are you…"

"Now!"


Wheeler steps out of the shower and when he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, decides a shave is needed. When he finishes, he rubs his chin to make sure he's got all the stubble, not wanting to cause Linka any discomfort when he wakes her with his roaming lips.

He exits the bathroom and walks straight towards her bed but pauses when he sees it's empty.

Must've woke her up. Bet she's making us something to eat since we skipped breakfast.

"Babe? I hope you're planning on making something big because I worked up quite an appetite!" He calls out from the bedroom. "Not that I don't firmly believe I could give up food forever and still live as long as I had you to nibble on!"

He waits for her to make a comeback, but there is only silence.

"Linka?" He pokes his head out of the bedroom door and looks around the cabin, seeing nothing. "Seriously? I come up with an epic line and she's not even here to appreciate it?"

Wheeler finds his shoes and heads outside, expecting to see Linka on the porch drinking coffee, or on the dock watching birds, or walking around the edge of the lake.

"Linka?" He says loudly, hoping she'll hear him and call back, alerting him to her location.

Maybe she went to pick up something to eat instead.

He walks to the side of the cabin and sees that the car is still in the driveway.

"LINKA!" He calls, starting to panic, worried about her current state of mind after receiving bad news earlier.

"Wheeler."

He jumps as he's startled by the sudden appearance of someone behind him and turns towards the voice.

"Damn Gaia! You scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry."

"What are you doing here? Is it Linka? Something's wrong. I don't know where she is."

"I know. Don't worry. She's fine."

"Thank God…where is she?"

"I'm sorry Wheeler."

"I know. I forgive you. You just startled me, that's all…"

"No, I mean I'm sorry about Linka."

"Oh…yeah, that. She told you the bad news? Wait, dumb question…you probably already knew and that's why you came. Where is she? Taking a walk in the woods? Is she doing ok?"

"Physically, she's fine…"

Wheeler nods his head, knowing that it wasn't going to be easy for her to get over the heartbreak. What they shared this morning was a temporary moment of happiness, but they had a long road of grief ahead of them. He knew that. They just needed to take things one day at a time and ease into this whole "relationship" thing.

"Where is she? I should go to her."

"You can't."

"What do you mean I can't? Did she tell you she wanted to be alone? Trust me, what she says and what she means are two different things. I know that better than anyone. She needs me."

"I tried to tell her that. I tried to convince her not to go…"

"Go? Where the hell did she GO?"

"She summoned me to send her away. She insisted she needed to leave."

"Leave?! The Planeteers?"

"I don't know…I don't think so. I don't think it's gotten to that. She just said she wanted some space."

"Damn it. I knew it. She's having regrets. I should have talked to her sooner," he says more to himself than to Gaia. "You gotta send me to her."

"No Wheeler, that's not what she wants. I have to respect her wishes and so should you."

"Gaia, you don't know what happened earlier…not with the baby thing…Linka and I…ah shit…I can't talk to you about this!"

"I DO know. Linka mentioned it."

"And that's the reason she gave you for having to leave? I didn't hurt her, I didn't make her do anything she didn't want to. I even told her to tell me to stop. I swear to God, I'd never pressure her into doing anything she wasn't ready for…I…"

"I know Wheeler! And so does she. She wasn't upset with you. She loves you…it's why she thinks she has to leave."

"Not this bullshit again! I love HER. I don't give a shit about whether or not she can have kids."

"Not my exact words, but I did try to make that point with her."

"Please Gaia. Send me to her. I can fix this."

"I can't. I have to respect her wishes and her request was to be left alone…by all of us. I asked her if she wanted to talk to Gi, she said no. I encouraged her to talk to you. She was adamant though. She did not want you to try and change her mind."

"What the hell am I supposed to do?! I can't just stay here and do nothing. I have so much more I wanted to say to her…things I didn't get to say earlier…things I was planning on telling her now that we could talk and weren't in the heat of the moment."

"Go back to your grandparents?"

"I can't. They'll ask too many questions. My grandpa thinks I'm asking her to marry me while we are at the cabin…and I was going to. For real. Not a fake relationship for the benefit of the fertility doctor. If I go back to my grandparents alone, they're gonna know something is up and they'll want to know what happened."

"Then come back to Hope Island? Just lay low for a few days. The others are out on a mission. Give Linka the space she's asking for and when she's ready, she'll come back."

"Ok, fine. I guess. I need to get the car back to my grandparents. My grandma has an appointment this afternoon. I'll drop it off when they're not home and then you can send me back to Hope Island. I just need to grab my things…and Linka's too I guess."

Gaia nods.

"Just summon me when you're ready."

"Ok."

Once she vanishes, a dejected Wheeler begins packing their belongings and loading the car. One last check of the bedroom and he notices the ring box on the dresser. He pockets it but hears something rolling around inside the box. When he opens it, his fears are confirmed. She gave it back.

Shit. She's gone.


To Be Continued…