The Holfort Academy was exactly as I remembered it from before my first death. I could hear the noble girls barking orders at servants while the guys mostly just tried to keep their heads low. Flashes of Move-In Day at university from my first life came to mind as I watched the chaos unfold. Compounding said chaos was the arrival of the five Capture Targets from the game. Noble girls squealed and swooned left and right as they called out to Prince Julius and his four friends. I could feel the naked envy and despair that the other noble boys directed at the Five, but I just couldn't find it in me to feel that bad about it as it kept everyone's attention off of me.

Zola had been quite vindictive about my recent success and her inability to profit from it, and so spread the word far and wide about my exploits and success to place more pressure upon me. Through her efforts and just from the sheer magnitude of my known accomplishments, the Kingdom had seen fit to conditionally name me a Baron upon my graduation from the Academy. There was even talk of elevating me to Viscount, for pity's sake! As a result, the wealth that I would need to pay tribute to the Kingdom would be higher upon graduation, as well as the social class that I'd be expected to marry into as well. Which would have been fine, if there was one decent girl among that same fetid social class that Zola occupied.

It was probably just as well that I'd kept my involvement with Belmont Tea Company a secret. Yes, I named a tea company after the main family from Castlevania. Sue me. Anyhow, from Luxion's reports, we were doing quite well, to the point that we were even expanding into other kingdoms. Granted, I just sort of left things up to Luxion in regards to Belmont, having enough to worry about with training myself up with the new weapons and armor while still keeping up with my Academy obligations.

Jenna and Nicks, my older siblings followed me off of my personal airship, which I had named Razor's Crest. Again, sue me. The catboy servant I'd gotten for Jenna helped with her numerous bags a short ways behind us, assisted by a veritable swarm of robots from Luxion. I still chose to carry my fair share alongside Nicks, the two of us making sure to keep Jenna in between the two of us. The night before, my parents and I had explained to Jenna and Nicks about my status as a reincarnated soul, figuring that it would be better to tell them straight out than to have them find out on their own. They'd honestly not been as surprised as I thought, having already figured out a lot of details on their own. The biggest surprises were probably about Belmont and its success, to which Jenna was grumbling about for most of the airship ride over.

"I still don't see why you don't just reveal that you're the owner and founder of that new tea company," groused Jenna. "You could be greeted just as warmly as any of the Founding Families heirs if you wanted to."

"Sister dearest, we've been over this," I sighed with a smile. "Belmont Tea Company is very heavily in the spotlight of the Kingdom right now, and I don't want that kind of attention."

"And why not?!" asked Jenna indignantly. "Seriously, with the kind of cash you're rolling in from Belmont, you could bag any girl at school you'd want!"

"And marry a woman that turns out to be like Zola or Merce?" I countered, gagging at the thought of that old bat and her clone of a daughter. "Hell no… Out of the question entirely."

"...I mean, it's not like you actually have to live with her," piped up Nicks. "You could do what Dad did and take a mistress that's basically your actual wife."

"You shush, you lucky dog," I shot back. "You get to go into the General class where all the girls are decent!"

"He's still got a point," argued Jenna.

"I refuse to be married to anyone like Zola in any way, shape, or form," I stated resolutely. "My future legal wife and I need to be able to at least tolerate each other and agree to not fuck each other over. There's no way that I'd be able to find anyone like that while trying to fend off the rabid gold-diggers."

"...I know," sighed Jenna. "It just really bothers me that we're sitting on all that wealth and doing absolutely nothing with it."

"You know what it's actually for, Jenna," I replied in a lower tone. "Besides, we are enjoying some of it. We got you Miauler, right?"

"I suppose…" relented Jenna before getting a wry grin. "Would have been nice to have more besides Miauler, though…"

"Oh goodness, Jenna, I certainly couldn't do that!" I gasped in mock mortification. "What kind of brother would I be if I didn't think about your well-being?"

"My well-being?" asked Jenna, confused. "What would more catboy servants have to do with my well-being?"

"Well, if they're anything like their animal counterparts, Miauler alone will tear you up quite terribly," I explained with mock concern. "I mean, cats don't just have claws in their paws, Jenna…"

Jenna's face turned a brilliant shade of red in indignation and embarrassment as she finally caught onto my meaning. I laughed and held up my arms in defense as Jenna attempted to convey her frustration at me by beating it into my skull.

"You ass!" snapped Jenna, but I could see that she was trying to fight off a grin. "Don't just bring up those sorts of things!"

"Oh come on, it was kind of funny!" I laughed as Nicks rolled his eyes at the two of us.

"...Maybe so, but you're still an ass," grumbled Jenna. "Besides, that shows how little you know. Miauler isn't barbed at all-"

My eyes widened as Jenna made a critical error and revealed the depth of her relations with Miauler. Nicks flinched before ducking away without another word, clearly uncomfortable. Jenna's mouth snapped shut and she kept her expression reserved, but there was no way to hide the glowing blush on her face. For my part, I kept silent. There were times to press the advantage, and then there were times for mercy.

"...So… Room 223, right?" I asked Jenna, lifting one of her bags.

"...Yes, thank you, brother," replied Jenna stiffly.

"Mistress Jenna, is everything alright?" asked Miauler. "You look rather feverish."

"I'm fine!" squeaked Jenna, jumping at the catboy's sudden approach. "Let's just get going!"

"As you say, Mistress Jenna," bowed Miauler.

I grinned as Jenna blushed and stormed ahead to try and cover for her brief show of emotion, but my grin fell as I watched Miauler follow behind her. To be honest, I was a little worried about Jenna getting hurt over Miauler. The guy was a consummate professional, having served as a manservant to several noble ladies previously, and I worried over the sincerity of Jenna's feelings versus the veneer of sincerity in Miauler's actions. As we approached Jenna's room, I dropped the bag off by Miauler and then looked him dead in the eye.

"Make sure you take good care of her," I smiled with an edge in my eyes.

"I assure you I have no intentions of doing otherwise, Master Leon," responded Miauler.

"See that doesn't change," I shot back before turning away and winking at Jenna. "Have fun!"

"Ass!" Jenna shouted back as I laughed.

After a ways away from the room, I took a seat on a nearby bench and sighed. Despite it being a sunny day, there was a very soothing breeze blowing through the courtyard. At that moment, I realized how hard I'd been working for the past few months, and how nice it was to just take a moment to breathe. The warmth of the sun felt good upon my face in contrast to the breeze, and I took a moment and closed my eyes.

"You do realize that the Opening Ceremony will be starting in thirty minutes, yes?" asked a voice I hadn't heard in over a decade.

I opened my eyes and looked up at the young woman I knew very well, finally meeting her for the first time. Angelica Rapha Redgrave: the Villainess of the game. Blonde, strikingly beautiful, with brilliant red eyes, I will admit that I lingered on her cutscenes a little longer than I needed to. …Okay, maybe a lot longer than I needed to. What could I say? She was hot, and I'd been playing that dumb game for almost forty-eight hours. I needed a boost in morale. She was flanked by two of her followers as she stood before me, clearly waiting for an answer.

"Of course, ma'am," I replied respectfully. "Allowing for the five minute walk to the Auditorium, and an additional five to ten minutes to find a seat, I easily have ten minutes to take time and enjoy this truly lovely day."

Angelica blinked briefly, clearly not expecting such a well-considered answer. Her two followers looked as though they were ready to tear into me for talking back to their Lady, but Angelica stopped them with a brief look.

"And you're not worried about finding a less than ideal seat when you get there?" asked Angelica, an honest question in her tone.

"When weighing the benefits of the absolutely perfect view of the stage against the cost of a half hour in a cramped, stuffy, and noisy room, I find that I would much rather spend ten minutes in the peaceful tranquility of the well-kept grounds of the Academy," I replied simply with a wry grin. "If this were the first day of classes, I would absolutely agree with you and I would easily be a half-hour early, but as long as I can hear his opening speech, I'm sure the Prince would appreciate one less face gaping at him like he's a curio in a cabinet."

"...I suppose I do see your point," replied Angelica with a nod. "Still, very few in the Academy actually share that opinion."

"I assume that you mean the horde of young ladies swooning everywhere he passes?" I chuckled ruefully. "Yet another reason to avoid the Auditorium as long as possible."

"Most noble boys would be trying to gather around them in pursuit of asking for their hand in marriage when the ladies' pursuit of the Prince and his friends inevitably fails," commented Angelica.

"Forgive me, but I'd rather not become a vulture of vultures in the pursuit of marriage," I countered.

"Another fair point not held by many at this school," commented Angelica. "...You have piqued my interest, sir. What is your name?"

"Leon Fou Bartfort, ma'am," I replied with a brief bow. "And if I might ask your name in return?"

"Angelica Rapha Redgrave," replied Angelica in return before blinking again. "Did you truly not know who I am?"

"I had a suspicion or two, but I'd daresay it's more polite to actually have conversations rather than simply assume," I chuckled. "Your reaction in regards to the Prince now makes perfect sense, although I recommend you make your way to the Auditorium now if you hope to see him onstage."

"You are absolutely correct, Lord Bartfort, and besides that I do believe that I have taken up far too much of your time already," replied Angelica with a slight bow of her head.

"I can honestly say that it was a pleasure, Lady Redgrave, so please do not concern yourself," I replied with a smile.

"Given your candid responses so far, I cannot help but believe you," replied Angelica with what almost seemed to be a ghost of a smile. "Perhaps we may speak more in the future, Lord Bartfort, but until then, take care."

"Likewise, Lady Redgrave," I bowed with a smile.

And with that, the Villainess turned and walked away to get a good seat from which to see her fiance. I was surprised, but I didn't really get nearly the same impression of arrogance or entitlement that I got from the other noble girls that I'd met so far. Sure, she did seem a little severe and a bit of a stickler for the rules, but honestly I didn't see any sort of behavior that would undeniably mark her as the "Villainess". When I really thought about it, all she really did was try to defend her man from being seduced by another woman. That was hardly behavior to condemn her for.

"A potential marriage candidate, Master?" asked Luxion as he disturbed me from my thoughts.

"No chance in hell, Lux," I snorted. "Even if she wasn't the daughter of a Duke, she's the Villainess of the game, and you know my thoughts on preemptive disruptions to what we know."

"As you said before, but as a counterpoint, doesn't she end up with an unhappy end if the Protagonist succeeds?" replied Luxion.

"Yeah, and I can't say I like it, having met her," I mused. "She ends up disinherited and married off to this older guy in a loveless marriage. Honestly, based on this limited interaction, she doesn't deserve that fate."

"Perhaps you might decide to alter fate a bit once the story concludes?" suggested Luxion.

"…Are you suggesting that out of actual kindness or are you just trying to get me laid so I pass my Old Human DNA down faster?" I asked with a grin.

"I am incapable of kindness by default as an AI," denied Luxion, to which I snorted skeptically. "Still, if it was simply a matter of preserving your Old Human DNA, it would be much simpler to convince you to become an ardent patron in the Capital's Red Light district."

"Hard pass," I replied firmly, standing from the bench. "I want to actually raise my kids and watch them grow, thanks."

"And I would prefer that, if your partner needs to be a New Human, you select a partner from the best that this world has to offer," agreed Luxion.

"Fair enough," I grinned, marching off to the Auditorium to listen to the Opening Ceremony. "I doubt Miss Redgrave will be that partner, but we should still at least help her find a happier end-"

I stopped as the sound of flesh against flesh echoed across the courtyard. As I turned to the sound of the slap, I could see Prince Julius holding his cheek in stunned silence. I grinned to myself as I realized that I was fortunate to be able to witness the start of the game, but my grin vanished as I looked at the girl who just slapped Julius. She was shorter, by at least three inches, and she was very petite. She could have easily pretended to be three years younger and I would have believed it. This was not Olivia the Protagonist, by any stretch of the imagination.

"You just hit me…" murmured the Prince in stunned shock. "Do you have any idea who I am?"

"No, I do not," replied the girl. "But regardless of who you are, I won't put up with this disrespect!"

"...You're not like the other girls at the Academy, are you?" asked the Prince with the hint of a smile.

"...I suppose I'm not," replied the Not Protagonist.

"Forgive my earlier rudeness," bowed the Prince. "My name is Julius. Please allow me to show you around the school personally by way of apology after the opening ceremony."

"...Alright, as long as you behave yourself," replied the Not Protagonist.

"...That girl just slapped the Prince in the face," I frowned as I watched the girl who was not the Protagonist walk away side by side with the Prince.

"An unusual reaction, given what we observed earlier with the Prince and his companions," remarked Luxion glibly. "Perhaps we can spectate at her execution later?"

"Luxion, this is serious," I argued. "One of the opening events of the game is the Protagonist slapping the Prince in the face for being rude to her."

"Ah, everything is proceeding as you have foreseen, then," mused Luxion. "Your tone indicates that you are troubled by this turn of events. Is it not a good thing that events are proceeding as your knowledge dictates?"

"It would be if that girl were actually the Protagonist," I replied. "No, that girl is a totally different girl than the one that I had to button mash for for three days straight."

"And you're quite certain of this?" asked Luxion. "You did say that you were exhausted-"

I didn't answer directly, instead looking away guiltily. …Yeah, it wasn't just the Villainess that I watched closer than I needed to. Look, don't judge me; It was a lifetime ago, and I'd been playing for multiple hours at that point. I definitely needed to raise my morale.

"...I see," replied Luxion, clearly putting together the pieces of what I wasn't saying. "...A cause for concern, certainly, but as a counterpoint, how do we know that she's not the actual protagonist of this world? You have acknowledged that this is in fact a real world that you are living in and not some otome game, so perhaps this is just a simple difference from the world you experienced."

"Fair enough, I suppose," I conceded. "Either way, we should still keep an eye on that one. If I'm wrong, then she would still be the Protagonist, so we'll need to be on the lookout for what she's up to. But if I'm right, then there's something weird going on, and we may need to intervene."

"As you say, Master," replied Luxion.

I didn't voice my disagreement, but I had a feeling that I was right about the weirdness going on. Angelica was practically a carbon-copy of her in-game artwork, and the same held true for the Prince and every other character I'd seen previously. Hell, even the academy and the skyline of the capital looked the same. And yet the Protagonist is completely different? Sure, I could understand wanting to sell more copies with a buxom blushing beauty instead of a flat loli gremlin for the cover art, but something definitely seemed off.

For now, I shrugged it off, having more than enough to worry about.

"I tell you what; it's going to be damn near impossible to find a wife this year, what with the Prince and his friends attending the Academy," sighed Daniel Fou Durland, fellow classmate and my newest friend at the academy.

"I hear that," agreed Raymond Fou Arkin, my other new friend from today. "It was bad enough to try and impress them as backcountry nobles, but now with the five most desirable heirs in the country, it'll be a miracle if we even get looked at."

We'd met earlier at the Start of Term mixer that some of the upperclassmen of the Lower Rank nobility had organized. Admittedly, I'd been quite the topic of discussion, given my achievements, but thankfully that was winding down now that the mixer had concluded.

"A fair point, but consider the following: would we really want their attention anyway?" I asked as I enjoyed another one of my fries.

"...You do know that it's expected for us to find a wife while we're here, right?" replied Daniel or Danny, as he preferred to go by.

"Sure, but I want a wife, not a witch," I quipped, chuckling at my own private joke. "Can you honestly say that anyone in that group would be anything but a wicked hag in later years?"

"...Well, you're not wrong, but couldn't you just-" began Raymond.

"Marry one of them who will take me and then take a mistress who's my actual wife?" I finished for Raymond, grinning exasperatedly as I'd long since grown tired of that old argument. "Sure, I could do that, just like my dad did, and then I could watch as she tries to marry off my sons to her hag friends for money just like what almost happened to me. I'm not saying that I have to be in love with the woman I marry, but I am going to hold myself to some standards, and you guys should too."

"...You almost got claimed by the Forest of Ladies?" asked Raymond, referencing the secret society of Noble Ladies that sought to keep the status quo that Zola enjoyed the fruits of. "Damn, no wonder you had to pull those crazy stunts."

"For me and for my younger brother," I nodded. "I want my sons to be shielded from such a fate, so that's what I have to do."

"I guess I never thought about it like that," mused Raymond. "You do have a point, I guess. Still, doesn't it make it that much harder to actually find a wife in this already impossible scenario?"

"If you were just trying to go for any girl, sure, but I have a few ideas," I replied with a grin. "Besides, any girl I would marry would need to at least tolerate the adventurer's lifestyle."

"Seconded on that," grinned Danny. "I honestly can't wait to start exploring dungeons in earnest, and I'd hate to have to give that up when I get married."

"So did you hear about the new tea company?" asked Raymond. "I hear that if you serve one of their blends that you're ten times more likely to get a girl to notice you."

"Yeah, Belmont Tea Company, right?" replied Danny. "They've honestly got some pretty good stuff. I just wish they weren't so pricey, though. I mean, two hundred dia per box is great for the rich boys to flaunt, but what about the rest of us?"

"...Hey, what if I told you I knew the secret to making Belmont Brand teas?" I asked suddenly.

"I would say that you're making shit up," snorted Danny. "I mean, how the hell would you know what goes into Belmont Tea?"

"Here, I'll show you," I replied, pulling out a vial of bergamot oil. "You know Belmont Blend Four, right? I can make something that can come close to it right here, right now if one of you can get some regular black tea brought here and a pot of water."

"OK, this I have to see," replied Raymond with a chuckle.

The tea was brought over quickly, and I set myself to work. It wouldn't be perfect since the oil was being added after the leaves were oxidized and I was only using bergamot oil instead of bergamot peel, but I made it work. I carefully brewed a cup for Danny to try, making sure to not over-steep the leaves.

"...What the hell…" blinked Danny. "This is Blend Four… I mean, it's not quite right, but it's pretty damn close. The hell is in that bottle?"

"Something called bergamot oil," I explained. "It's the primary flavorant for Blend Four. Granted, Belmont uses a process that I can't replicate here, but I can get pretty close with this bottle of oil."

"And you know how to do this for all of them?" asked Raymond tentatively.

"Well, we can't really do Blend One here since that's a specific blend of different black teas, and Blend Two is itself a specially formulated green tea, but the other blends, yeah."

"What do we need to do for you to share this secret?" asked Danny urgently.

"Just keep this info quiet and don't be a dick," I replied with a grin. "And I wouldn't say 'no' to being friends either…"

Danny and Raymond blinked slowly before matching my grin.

"That seems to be a disproportionate reward for what you're asking for," smirked Raymond. "Surely there's a catch to all this?"

"Well, I'd say the biggest catch to this is that I have little respect for authority, and that I may cause you no end of grief simply by association…"

"Can't be that bad, can it?" asked Danny.

"Um… When you said that you have 'little respect for authority', I wasn't really imagining…well, this…" began Danny as he watched nervously.

"Oh come on, it's not damaging the school grounds, the food's delicious, and it's the kind of thing that our ancestors would do, right?" I asked with a snort.

"I mean, sure, but what about the school?" asked Raymond. "Won't they be upset?"

"Oh, they're going to be pissed, but that's all that they can be," I laughed as I pulled out the signed permission slip that made this possible. "As long as we don't damage school grounds and clean up afterwards, we can enjoy our 'picnic' for the rest of the day if we so choose to…"

"But…The looks we're getting…" frowned Danny.

"Trust me, those looks we're getting will be envious soon enough," I chuckled as I set up the portable grill that Luxion had designed.

There were three reasons for the cookout that I'd organized. The first reason was that I had decided that it would be easy to "play the game" that the noble girls played with the guys here, but completely not worth it. If any woman was going to be at least tolerable to be married to, then she'd at least need to find a staple of back-country living to be tolerable. Any woman who looked down on this style of cooking was not going to be remotely tolerable to live with; my father's legal wife Zola proved that much. And so, making skewers on campus grounds would be the perfect deterrent to Noble Bitches.

Second, there was someone that I was hoping to potentially make contact with just to confirm my suspicions from earlier, and I remember that a major event in the game revolved around grilled meat skewers. It also wouldn't hurt to potentially give myself an "in" just in case I needed to intervene in getting the plot back on track.

Finally, as the grill hit the right temperature, I opened up the bags that represented the third reason that I wanted to hold this cookout. I grinned as a familiar aroma of teriyaki marinade permeated the air before throwing on skewers of chicken thighs and tri-tip beef. The satisfying hiss that they made was music to my ears as I savored the fragrant scent of teriyaki that wafted across the courtyard. I could see that Danny and Raymond had instantly been won over the moment I opened the bags. Meanwhile, the looks of disdain and derision we'd received earlier had quickly turned to envy, just as I'd predicted. However, I'd anticipated, almost perfectly, that their pride would not allow them to approach a group they'd deemed to be "barbarians" moments before. Of course, the key word in that statement being "almost", as I proceeded to pull the first batch from the grill...

"Excuse me, but I must insist that you explain yourself," demanded an imperious voice.

I looked up passively to find a second year girl staring at our group with a severe expression, auburn hair in ringlets around her strikingly beautiful face. She wasn't anyone I recognized from the game, so she had to be another Mob like me, Danny, and Raymond. I decided to go ahead and prepare my usual anti-Zola countermeasures.

"I mean, it's lunch," I shrugged. "Does it look like something else?"

"I can see that it's lunch," sighed the noble girl in exasperation. "What I'm asking is whether there's a reason you've chosen to use the courtyard rather than the well-staffed dining hall…"

"Oh that's simple," I grinned. "We're having a cookout. We've got plenty to go around, if you care to join us?"

The girl blinked briefly before raising an eyebrow. "You're quite the unusual group," replied the girl as she snapped open a fan to conceal her expression, but she couldn't quite hide the intrigued look in her eyes. "Tell me, gentlemen, why would any noble lady accept such an offer?"

"They wouldn't," replied Danny, freezing up as all of us looked at him in surprise but clearing his throat as the girl gestured for him to continue. "In fact, most nobles would say such a thing is beneath them, to which I say that their ancestors would say their descendants were beneath them."

"And why would they say that, sir?" asked the girl.

"They were adventurers, weren't they?" replied Danny. "Our ancestors wouldn't be carrying fine flatware and cutlery, and they wouldn't be packing finger sandwiches and tea cakes whenever they'd be out in the field. Honestly, the way we're eating right now would be considered a luxury to them, but they'd certainly find it more tolerable than 'going soft'..."

The girl's eyes lit up as she approached Danny. For his part, Danny seemed to keep his expression under control, but the guy had to be panicking hard.

"Tell me… What is your name, sir?" asked the girl.

"Daniel Fou Durland, at your service," bowed Danny.

"Eliza Fou Melton, fourth daughter of Viscount Melton," introduced the girl. "So, tell me, Lord Durland, you feel that the way that our ancestors lived was superior to the way nobility lives now?"

"Well, I think that enjoying the fruits of your labor is justified, but not if it causes you to lose your edge," replied Danny. "Do you disagree, Lady Melton?"

"...I certainly do not," replied Eliza as she sat beside Danny. "Might I trouble one of you gentlemen for a plate and a mug? Your names as well, if you would be so kind?"

"Leon Fou Bartfort, grillmaster for the afternoon," I grinned as I passed her a plate. "So, beef skewers, chicken skewers, or some of both?"

"After the delightful smells you have subjected me to for the past fifteen minutes, I'm afraid I must insist on trying both," replied Eliza with a small smile.

"Oh, so it's 'delightful' now, is it?" I chuckled as I gave her three of each to start.

"Leon, don't be rude," chided Ray, before turning to Eliza with an apologetic smile and a mug of Matcha. "Raymond Fou Arkin, at your service, Lady Melton and I apologize for my friend."

"Not to worry, Lord Arkin," replied Eliza with a wry smile. "After my earlier comments, I will allow one return jab from Lord Bartfort, but I hope that his skill as 'grillmaster' is not an idle boast."

"Well, we certainly won't settle the matter by debate," I laughed. "Go on and dig in, guys. I'll fix up my plate closer to the end so it'll still be hot."

The three of them each lifted a skewer and took a careful bite. The reaction was immediate and quite dramatic. I'd seen it countless times throughout my first life, on dozens of faces as people tasted my family teriyaki recipe for the first time.

"What sort of culinary sorcery have you committed here, Leon?" asked Danny, awestruck.

"More like culinary 'saucery', but I appreciate the compliment," I joked. "It really is all in the marinade, which isn't too hard to make, either."

"I shall require this recipe as soon as possible, Lord Bartfort," replied Eliza briskly even as she took another bite.

"I'll leave the recipe with Danny," I grinned, to which Eliza arched an eyebrow.

"Are you implying that I would not choose to see Lord Daniel otherwise?" asked Eliza pointedly.

"Oh, 'Lord Daniel', is it?" I teased, waggling my eyebrows as Eliza scoffed and Danny turned a brilliant bright red. "Glad you seem to be warming up to Danny at least."

"Lord Daniel and Lord Raymond have been perfect gentlemen thus far," argued Eliza with a challenging smirk. "You, Lord Bartfort, while worthy of the title of 'grillmaster', have been a scoundrel, albeit the best behaved scoundrel I've had the pleasure of meeting."

"A scoundrel, eh?" I grinned. "I think I can live with that. Although I can't imagine that you've met too many scoundrels in your life, Lady Melton. I fear that I may have ruined the term for you."

"He's not wrong," chuckled Raymond. "Leon may be a bit unconventional, and perhaps more than a bit uncouth, but he's certainly an honorable man, from my experience."

"There's no need to mince words, Ray," I chuckled. "I'm an asshole, so to be called a scoundrel instead is quite the compliment."

"You are a most peculiar man, Leon Fou Bartfort," mused Eliza, taking another appraising look. "Are you not considering that you may be hurting your chances to find a wife with your eccentricities?"

"Well, if my eccentricities are that much of a deterrent, then I wouldn't want to take them as a bride anyway," I shrugged. "I am a backcountry baron without a massive allotment of wealth to my name, so if the lavish capital lifestyle is what they're after, then I'm afraid that's not what I can realistically provide."

"So you mean to draw out the few noble girls that may match this type that you seek?" concluded Eliza to which I nodded.

"More like hoping to deter the ones that would just be wasting our time, but that's the general idea," I clarified.

"…A peculiar man indeed," replied Eliza thoughtfully.

"Excuse me, but might I join you for a moment?" asked a voice that I was all too familiar with.

Danny, Ray, and Eliza had all turned to stone at the voice. Julius Rapha Holfort, Crown Prince of the Holfort Kingdom stood before us with a calm expression, but there was a note of uncertainty in his voice.

"Yeah, sure, we should have enough to go around," I replied, fixing a plate for the Prince. "Forgive my friends, but they seem to have lost all powers of speech as their perception of reality has collapsed."

"I suppose that's to be expected," replied Julius with a sigh as he accepted the plate. "And yet you seem remarkably unaffected…"

"Well, you did say to simply treat you like a peer at your speech during the Opening Ceremony," I replied with a grin. "Unless you're telling me those were just words to you?

"No, I certainly meant them," chuckled Julius as he took a bite from the skewer. "...Truly magnificent. You are a talented man, sir."

"I appreciate it, but I certainly can't take credit for the marinade's work," I replied.

"Perhaps, but the way that you barely need to watch the meat upon the grill to know the perfect time to remove them is a skill to acknowledge," argued Julius. "It's a skill that not even a king can acquire, for all his wealth and power, and should be acknowledged."

"Why not?" I asked, to which Julius raised his eyebrows while I clarified. "Why can't a king acquire such skills?"

"Because such behavior is not fit for royalty and would be beneath him," spat Julius.

"And who's told you that?" I asked earnestly. "The King? The Queen? Or someone else?"

"...My etiquette instructors and tutors when I was growing up, plus almost every other member of court…" frowned Julius.

"So… the thought occurs to me," I began. "You're the Crown Prince, so all of those nobles and tutors and instructors are of lesser rank than you, yes?"

"Technically speaking, yes, they would be," conceded Julius.

"And the King and Queen, who are above you in rank, haven't said anything in regards to agreeing with the tutors and instructors and nobles, right?" I continued.

"...Not that I can ever recall, no," frowned Julius as he considered my words.

"Then why should a lion consider the opinion of a sheep if he so chooses to relax on a sunny afternoon instead of hunt?" I asked.

"...But… I'm the Crown Prince…" blinked Julius as he tried to find some counterpoint to my words.

"So?" I replied. "Everyone needs a hobby, and a hobby should be something that you enjoy."

"...But… How would I begin?" asked Julius. "I wouldn't know where to start."

"With the first step," I replied, to which Julius snorted at my blithe response. "I know that seems obvious, but considering what that first step should be won't be easy since that varies greatly from person to person. My advice would be to consult some of your friends for help with it since they'd know you best, but they may not know enough to help get started since they're in the higher nobility as well. Is there anyone else you can think of that might be able to help you get started?"

"...There is one person, I think," mused Julius. "I only met them just recently, and I must admit I was rather rude to them to start with, but they might be the perfect person to ask, I think. We did go out for meat skewers the other day, and she doesn't seem to be too obsessed with decorum."

"Oh?" I asked. "Was it the scholarship student?"

"No, it was another girl," replied Julius, confirming my earlier suspicions. "Her name is Marie. Marie Fou Lafan."

"Huh, wouldn't expect that from a noble girl," I commented idly as I tried to suppress the mix of satisfaction and horror at being right. "Certainly sounds rather different. Is she a first year student?"

"Yes, she's the daughter of Viscount Lafan," replied Julius. "I must say, she's unlike any other noble girl I've met."

"How so?" I asked.

"She slapped me in the face when we first met," smiled Julius fondly.

"...Well, I would say that she's definitely not like most girls at the academy, that's for sure," I laughed. "Still, are you sure she'd be willing to help after slapping you in the face?"

"Oh, we're certainly past that," laughed Julius. "Besides, I must admit that I was quite rude to her before, so I cannot say that it was undeserved."

"Didn't she also tear into a steak the other day?" blurted Raymond before he could stop himself.

"Well, yes she did," replied Julius with a smile. "Quite enthusiastically, as a matter of fact. Now that you mention it, she'd probably be the perfect person to talk with about pursuing this hobby, given her love and knowledge of good food."

"...Hang on, she tore into it?" I clarified, frowning as a bit of a darker thought came to me. "Like someone who was starving?"

"...Well, I didn't want to speak ill of her, since she really is a lovely girl, but… yes, she did…" frowned Julius, thinking back on the incident. "Why do you ask?"

"...Make sure she eats well, Julius," I replied simply, not liking where my current train of thought was leading. "I get the feeling that she may not have had many opportunities prior to coming to the Academy."

"...You really think she might have not had food to eat?" asked Julius in shock. "But… even an impoverished Viscount should have been able to keep their family fed at the very least!"

"I sincerely hope that I'm wrong, but it's something you should keep an eye out for," I replied, letting Julius relax a little. "Besides, cooking good quality meals will be a blessing either way."

"...You're absolutely right," replied Julius, a resolute edge in his eyes. "I thank you for your advice and your food, sir. I'm going to go find Marie and see if we can get started right away. What is your name?"

"Just call me Leon," I smiled warmly. "Best of luck to you both."

I watched as the Prince took his leave, sighing as my mind became conflicted. In attempting to gather more information about this Marie, I'd pushed Julius further away from the original Protagonist, but I couldn't bring myself to feel bad about it. Marie might've fucked up the Prince's route, but I couldn't live with myself if I let malnourishment and neglect be ignored. Besides, we weren't all just CG art on a screen here. We were all real people, who could think, feel, and live, and we deserved to have some happiness where we could find it. As long as the Protagonist got with one of the other Four Idiots, then that was perfectly fine. Let the Prince enjoy his "Marie". So long as we all survived at the end of the day, I couldn't care less.

"...Leon, you have balls of steel," stated Danny as a matter of fact. "No one else I can think of would ever dare to be that casual with the Prince."

"And why not?" I replied. "He asked everyone in the school to not get hung up on his status as the Crown Prince, and he meant it. You all saw the way he reacted when I did, right?"

"...Lord Bartfort… I can honestly say this has been the most memorable afternoon I've ever had," replied Eliza finally with a smile before turning to Danny. "I certainly hope to see an invitation from you soon, Lord Daniel."

"Of course, Lady Melton," bowed Danny.

…Right, the tea parties… Well, we'll see if my tactic did any good.

Etiquette class, or "How to Woo Noble Women 101" as I facetiously referred to it, was taught by an older gentleman by the name of Thaddeus Graves. He was the quintessential "Gentleman" stereotype, complete with mustache and monocle, and today he was our instructor in the art of Tea. He was also quite the accomplished magic caster and adventurer prior to his retirement to the Academy and, in spite of his silver hair and mustache, he was only in his early forties.

"Listen carefully," Professor Graves lectured as he straightened his monocle. "Assume a woman pays attention to every detail when you invite her for tea. From your bearings and demeanor, she can determine your level of education and the nature of your very person. If you entertain her properly, she will leave with a favorable impression of you."

I could feel that none of my peers were paying much attention to the lesson, honestly feeling rather helpless in the face of the nigh impossible task before us. My interest in the class was purely for the subject of tea itself, but for many who sought a marriage partner, it seemed a pointless exercise. Of course, some didn't even have the decency to hide their disinterest

"Mr. Fairfax, if you would do me the courtesy of at least pretending to pay attention?" sighed Professor Graves.

"Forgive me, sir, but with the Founding Heirs attending this year, any additional effort is going to be worthless," replied Erik Fou Fairfax, the son of a Viscount on the outskirts of the Capital. "Just buy the most expensive sweets you can afford and a box of Belmont and call it a day-"

I honestly tried. I really did, but I couldn't stop the laugh that slipped out. I could feel Danny and Raymond flinch as every one of our classmates turned to our row to glare at the "country bumpkins" who dared to step out of line. For his part, Professor Graves only seemed to disapprove of my ungentlemanly conduct toward my classmate, mostly appearing to be curious as to why my opinion would be different on this matter.

"You disagree with Mr. Fairfax, Mr. Bartfort?" asked Professor Graves with a curious eyebrow.

"I believe that anyone who Mr. Fairfax invites will leave with a bad taste in their mouth," I replied. "Quite literally, in fact."

"Indeed," nodded Professor Graves. "If you would kindly elaborate for your classmates?"

"If you simply buy more expensive snacks just to flaunt your wealth, the flavor will either clash with or be overwhelmed by Belmont brand teas," I explained. "This appears to be an intentional design philosophy with Belmont Tea Company."

"'Intentional', you say?" asked Professor Graves. "And what would this design philosophy be?"

"That wealth and status do not make for the best compatibility, but rather the inherent characteristics of both sides," I explained, before indulging myself in more inside jokes. "Besides, the Tea Party tradition in Holfort was invented for one reason: to woo women. And in that endeavor, laziness will not do."

"I see…" mused Professor Graves. "Well, you are absolutely correct in your assessment of Belmont teas and the Tea Party tradition, and I would suspect that you are quite correct in your speculation about Belmont Tea Company's business philosophy. Would you care to join me at the front of the class as I demonstrate for Mr. Fairfax?"

"I would be honored, Professor Graves," I replied as I got to my feet and bowed.

"...Do you think there's some sort of bloodline relation?" Danny asked Raymond.

"Maybe some form of long-lost uncle?" suggested Raymond. "Well, Leon certainly does know his tea, so I figure it'd be safe to assume that he knows his Tea Party etiquette as well."

Oh, if only Ray knew…

"So you've basically aced Etiquette class for the next three semesters," laughed Danny. "Haven't made too many friends in our class by doing that, but you've definitely impressed Professor Graves."

"And Erik as well, oddly enough," chuckled Raymond. "The man was openly weeping and calling you and Professor Graves 'Master'. Between you and Erik, I think it's a toss-up who's more devoted to Professor Graves…"

"Alright, alright," I laughed. "Come on, it's not that big of a deal. Master Graves is very knowledgeable and I appreciated his insight and wisdom, that's all."

"Well, that insight and wisdom will actually be important this year," grimaced Raymond. "For however much of a defeatist Erik was, he wasn't wrong."

As if to prove his point, the swoons and shrieks of the nearby ladies announced the arrival of the Prince and his best friend Jilk.

"Your Highness, will you be holding a tea party?" asked one swooning girl.

"I'd like to join!" another piped up.

"M-me, too!" came a third.

"And so the vultures descend," I chuckled darkly.

"Leon, be nice," chided Raymond in spite of the grin on his face.

"No, you're right, calling them vultures is an insult to vultures," I grinned. "Besides, with all their squawking, they're more like seagulls over a fish market."

"Leon, seriously stop it," chuckled Danny. "I'm never going to get that image out of my head…"

"Wasn't I right about them, though?" I asked with a grin.

"Maybe so, but you and I are still without any prospects for our tea parties," replied Raymond.

"Well we can't all be 'Lord Daniel', now can we?" I quipped with a pointed grin.

"Look, I have no idea how that happened and I'm terrified of messing it up," protested Danny. "Eliza is… Well she's something different than your average Noble Lady. She's just so much more, and I'm just worried that I might not be enough…"

"Just be true to yourself, Danny," I replied earnestly. "That's what got her attention in the first place."

I stopped as the crowd began to quiet down. I watched Angelica approach the crowd around Julius, giving them all a rather severe look. The girls immediately ceased their swooning and began to back away, but not far. Angelica bowed her head respectfully to her fiance, still clearly annoyed at fangirls that surrounded him but even still happy to be around her fiance.

"Your Highness, I would like to speak to you in regards to your tea party. Would you permit me to join?" asked Angelica respectfully before leveling another glare at the crowd.

"Angelica, drop the intimidation act," sighed Julius. "This is the academy."

"I am aware, but this fuss and bother you trail has begun to grate…" replied Angelica with a very pointed glare at the crowd.

"I second that emotion," I joked quietly, to which Danny spluttered into his tea as he laughed quietly. "If only roasting the buzzards would drive them away…"

"Leon, are you trying to get yourself banished?!" chuckled Raymond, hiding his grin behind his teacup.

"Nah, if I wanted to do that, I'd steal a kiss from Lady Redgrave," I grinned, to which Raymond and Danny had to both disguise their laughter as coughing.

"Good grief, Leon!" choked Danny as he laughed.

"What? If I'm going to get myself banished, might as well make it worth it," I chuckled, but stopped as I watched a new player enter the scene.

The Not Protagonist entered the courtyard in a way that, at first glance, looked like it was completely natural, as though she only intended to cross the courtyard to reach another destination. However, her eyes were subtly scanning her surroundings as though searching for something, and her pace as she crossed was just a little bit too slow to be completely natural. Jilk whispered to the Prince, getting his attention.

"Hmm? Oh. Marie, perfect timing," smiled Julius as Marie passed by. "I was looking for you. Would you join me?"

"You called for me, J- I mean, Your Highness?" blushed Marie.

"Boys at the school will be holding tea parties soon," explained Julius. "I don't want to do anything too elaborate, so I planned to just invite acquaintances. I was hoping you would join me."

"Prince Julius," objected Angelica gently, "there are regulations. I don't mean to say that you must have an elaborate party, but it ought to be at a scale appropriate to your status."

I blinked slowly as I watched a scene that was burned into my brain play out in front of me, but with the Not Protagonist in the leading role. Marie got the words right, sure enough, but it all just felt…off, like she was reciting from a half-remembered dream. I now was uncertain that she was truly someone from this world. Everything seemed… well, rehearsed. Back in my original life, I'd cynically called the actual Protagonist a cunning schemer, but this was on a whole different level. I was shaken from my internal thoughts as the tension reached a peak.

"Enough, Angelica!" snapped Julius. "This is the academy. I'm just another student here. You may be my betrothed, but that doesn't give you the right to interfere in my life."

"...I overstepped my bounds," apologized Angelica, with an almost imperceptible shake in her voice. "...Forgive me, Your Highness…"

I watched as Angelica retreated with dignity, but I could tell that she was actually quite hurt by that exchange. I'd heard that line easily hundreds of times before, but never once had I heard that slight catch in her voice, nor had I heard the barely whispered request for forgiveness for simply caring about her fiance. I glanced back at Julius, and I could see that he did seem to be bothered by the exchange. However, Marie took his hand in concern, and I could see that Julius shook off the feelings easily enough, or at the very least masked them.

"Wow, that was rather harsh of the Prince," commented Danny. "I get where he's coming from, but still…"

"I'm just surprised that you didn't try and jump in, Mr. 'Worth-It'," commented Raymond. "For some odd reason, the Prince seems to respect your opinion, and unless you're making things up about stealing a kiss, you're also pretty fond of Lady Redgrave. So why not swoop in and be a hero?"

"She's madly in love with the Prince, and my efforts would not be welcome," I protested. "She doesn't need a stranger running up to her to provide words of comfort that she might not even believe from her own family."

All of that was true, but that wasn't the real reason that I stood aside. I knew that if I interfered now, we'd be at risk of straying further off-course from what I knew, and that could put all our lives at risk. Until our third year, I had to remain in the background as much as I could. Of course, that didn't make the excuses feel any less vile and repulsive.

"...If you say so," replied Danny before clearing his throat. "So what were you planning for your tea party?"

"There's some Baron's daughter that seemed agreeable that I ran into at lunch the other day," I replied. "I think her name was Bella or something? She wasn't losing her mind over the Prince, at least. I'll ask her, I think."

"Well, knowing your usual thoughts and standards, I'd say that's pretty high praise," commented Raymond. "I'm asking Emilia Fou Rochelle from our year, since she seems really kind despite being from the Middle Rankings."

"Best of luck to you on that," I grinned. "I suppose we'll all face the music in a week or so?"

Even in spite of my growing cynicism, I couldn't help but feel a little bit hopeful about the upcoming tea parties.