The Hands of Time
Part VI
Rated: MA
Pairing: J/C
Summary: The hands of time stop for no one.
Disclaimer: The characters always belong the Paramount, and some of the script, but the story is mine...thank god for small favours.
Date: November 2000
Length: 818 words
Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me
Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabies go on and on...
They never die
That's how you
And I
Will be
Kathryn was his angel. After that day she had gone to see B'Elanna and Tom. He knew what she would find. Chakotay knew that B'Elanna was near delivery. Kathryn had come back and cried herself to sleep. Seeing B'Elanna, large with the child Tom knew was a girl. She had cried all night. Then the next day, she had awakened a new woman.
His angel had returned.
Kathryn had begun to heal. She was nowhere near the end of her journey, but she was nearing a compromise of sorts. She continued to ignore the child, but she now looked forward to the days of love and hope, where maybe, just maybe her life would be good and her lullabies would continue.
Despite her attempts at detachment he knew this child was getting to her. Chakotay didn't know how many times he had awakened to her lullabies. To her songs of hope for the child she carried. Chakotay just had to pray that maybe they would let her keep this baby because it was a baby boy.
Then one day, as Kathryn was nearing delivery, Chakotay approached her with his biggest concern of all. "Kathryn we need to talk."
Kathryn turned around. She had known this day would come. As her delivery date grew closer and closer, she knew Chakotay would be approaching her with some kind of ultimatum or question. "Yes Chakotay, what would you like?"
Chakotay wanted to tell her that he wanted the old Kathryn back. He wanted to tell her he wanted to re-visit that hard as nails Captain. He wanted to tell her so many things but all he could do was stare at her face, and think how beautiful she looked to him right now.
"Kathryn you have to stop. You have to stop beating yourself up over this. You did what you had to do." When he looked at her, her eyes were so empty. There was a blank stare, nothing more.
"I know Chakotay, but I can't help it. I want this baby, and I can't have him. And to think, I'm going to have to go through this again and again until I bear these aliens, strangers to me, a daughter." She drew in a deep breath, drawing strength from who knew where, "But you know what hurts the most? What's the hardest thing to deal with?"
Chakotay took her tiny hand in his. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to that question; he just knew he didn't want her to suffer anymore. "No Kathryn. What?"
She looked him straight in the eye, a glimmer of the fire returning if only for a moment. "What hurts the most is I am giving you this gift, this precious child who means so much to you, only to have it ripped away." Her bottom lip began to quiver and finally the dam broke. The tears began to fall and Chakotay put out his arms to catch her tiny body before it fell to the ground. He slowly lowered her to the floor and they sat there, entwined in each other's arms for what felt like an eternity.
Finally, when Kathryn's tears had quieted, Chakotay opened his mouth and began to sing soft melodies of forgiveness and hope from days gone by. "Goodnight my angel time to close your eyes. And save these questions for another day..."
END PART VI
TBC in PART VII
That was (Lullaby) Goodnight My Angel by Billy Joel
