Chapter 8 – Santa Baby


Think of all the fun I've missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed
Next year, I could be just as good
If you check off my Christmas list


As Christmas drew ever closer, Sam was rather excited by the prospect of his first one in the castle. And, he thought warmly, his first one with Janey.

His mum had been understanding when he'd written to her to explain that he would be staying at Hogwarts for the holiday, which he'd known she would be, and now all he could focus on was his beautiful, complicated girlfriend.

Sam had gotten off rather lightly over the past week thanks to Janey's unexpected feud with Gwen. All the blonde girl's fury and irrationality, which she often stored up for him, was being targeted at Gwen instead. In fact, he and Janey were more united than ever, him a willing recipient to her frequent venting about her former friend and captain.

But then Sam felt guilty. He didn't like seeing Janey at odds with anyone, but especially not with Gwen. It was such an unexpected rivalry, and it didn't seem to be losing any steam as time passed by. In fact, he wasn't sure how the two girls would even be able to coexist in the castle over Christmas together given how frequently they started yelling at each other.

Sam had tried to appeal to Gwen on Janey's behalf, but she remained as stubborn and brutal as she had been in the changing rooms. He only hoped Janey never found out what he'd done, because she certainly wouldn't view it with kindness. But she was too proud to admit that she missed the team and wanted back in.

And Gwen was too proud to admit that they needed her. If they were going to go ahead with the friendly with the Slytherins on the last day of term—which, for some reason, Ebony had insisted on them pushing back to—they would very much need a Seeker. And even if, by some miracle, they recruited one, they surely wouldn't have trained enough to be an asset to the team. Just as well it was only a friendly. But Sam didn't like to think what it would do for Gwen's self-esteem if they lost.

Janey was also being a lot more openly affectionate with him. Sam would have been immensely grateful if he hadn't known it was purely to prove to the school—and Gwen especially—that their relationship was as meaningful and serious as any of their other friends'. Which was stupid, really, because Rose and Scorpius were hardly snogging all over the school, and nobody doubted how serious they were about each other.

And then Sam wondered why he was even complaining. It wasn't exactly like he and Janey had ever been shy before, but if she wanted to snog him every waking moment just to prove a point then why would he want to put a stop to it?

Or, maybe, he considered, it was a distraction. Maybe she was just so worked up about the whole Gwen situation that she needed a stress reliever. It wasn't like she could fill her time with Quidditch practice anymore. Either way, Sam was unbothered. As long as her heart was in it, Janey could use him in whichever way she so desired.

It was as the team was returning from Quidditch practice—which Gwen had been making them engage in near-daily—that Sam found himself pounced upon by Janey the instant he set foot in the Gryffindor Common Room. Oh, God, Quidditch had been draining enough—he didn't think he had the energy for some mindless snogging just yet.

But she didn't throw herself at him in that sense, rather just kind of grabbed at his shirt excitedly.

"Hi," Sam managed to say through her squeals of delight, both alarmed and amused.

"We're going to Hogsmeade!" Janey declared with great enthusiasm.

"We're—what?"

"Hogsmeade," she repeated. "Tomorrow!"

Sam frowned. They weren't due a Hogsmeade weekend until February—he was certain of it. "Since when?" he asked, wondering if it was some kind of wind-up he didn't understand.

Janey looked irritated by him not immediately matching her enthusiasm. "Ebony spoke to Bobbin," she explained impatiently. "Said she would only stay in the castle over Christmas if we could have one, last Hogsmeade trip—so she could see James."

"And Bobbin agreed?" Sam asked, incredulous. The Headmistress had been so strict regarding all things James and Ebony, it seemed unlikely she would have granted this favour. But what did he know?

"Yes!" Janey exclaimed, deciding she was more excited about the prospect of an impromptu visit to the village than she was annoyed at Sam for not being as equally enthused.

"Alright," Sam said, surprised but delighted by the thought. He loved Hogsmeade, and it would be nice to have a Christmassy outing in the snow with all their friends—and to see James, too, he supposed. That was, if he and Ebony weren't making themselves too busy in the way Sam and Janey had been that past week.

As though she had read his thoughts, Janey suddenly grabbed the back of Sam's head, pulling him towards her with a yank of his hair and passionately working her mouth against his with little warning. Sam guessed that Gwen had just walked into the room.

He wasn't an idiot, he blissfully allowed himself to get lost in the sensation, hoping there weren't too many first-years around. He and Janey had already been condemned by Bobbin for 'not conducting themselves appropriately' as prefects—and that was before Janey's latest passionate insurgence.

Janey finally released him, and Sam wasn't sure if it had been seconds, minutes, or hours. He felt remarkably giddy.

"I'm so excited!" she squealed, like she hadn't just assaulted his mouth with her tongue.

"Mhmm," Sam agreed, feeling dazed.

"We can get hot chocolate," she breathed, "and make snow angels!"

God, she was adorable, Sam thought tenderly. Excited at the prospect of playing in the snow—like a child. But then he remembered what they'd just been up to and wiped the thought from his mind.

"And," Janey said, dropping her voice low and flirtatious, gripping at Sam's shirt once more, "we can buy our Christmas presents."

Ice seemed to have shot through Sam's veins, like it had all of a sudden started to snow beneath his skin.

"Presents?" he repeated uncertainly.

Janey frowned.

"For… each other?" Sam gulped.

"Yeah—obviously. What?" Janey demanded, her grip tightening on Sam's shirt, but not in the way he liked. "You're not planning on getting me anything for Christmas?"

"No—obviously," Sam said quickly. "I just meant… How do you know I haven't already gotten you something?"

Janey's eyes lit up. "Have you?"

"Maybe," Sam lied, wondering if he really had broken out into a cold sweat or if it was just in his imagination.

Janey looked thrilled but then suspicious. "When?"

"Alright, well, maybe I haven't bought anything yet," he relented, "but I've got… ideas."

Could she tell he was lying?

Janey suddenly slammed her palm into his chest with another thrilled squeal of delight. Sam didn't want to admit how much it had hurt.

"This is going to be the best Christmas ever!" she trilled in a high-pitched squeak. "I don't know why I never thought of having a boyfriend over Christmas before? It means I get so much extra stuff."

Sam was definitely sweating. He didn't even have the heart to make a sarcastic retort about how distorted Janey's priorities were with regards to their relationship. What did she mean by so much? Was he expected to be buying her a multitude of 'stuff' as she so put it? She knew he didn't possess any great wealth—didn't she?

Sam felt truly dazed, entirely caught off-guard. In truth, he had entirely forgotten he would need to be sourcing Janey a Christmas present. And, even more so, maybe many? Sam had seen the illustrious mansion that his girlfriend called home—had spent plenty of time there over the summer—and he knew the front door alone was probably worth more than his family's entire house. He had witnessed first-hand the kind of lavish gifts Janey was accustomed to. How the hell was he supposed to compare to seventeen years' worth of presents from literal millionaires?

"Err," Sam said, still unsure how to proceed.

"You know I'm kidding, right?" Janey asked, retracting her hand from where it had still been pressed against his chest.

Sam wondered if he would have a bruise there. But at Janey's comment, he visibly relaxed.

"I don't need a lot," Janey teased. "Just… something exceptional."

Sam tensed again. "Exceptional?" he repeated, just as dazed as before.

Janey leaned in towards him, and Sam rather wished they could just go back to snogging so he didn't have to think or worry about anything at all.

"Don't I deserve the best?" she asked in a low voice.

Sam had gone from feeling incredibly cold to incredibly hot. Janey had always had the upper hand when it came to any kind of seduction. He wasn't entirely sure what was even happening, but somehow he felt both intoxicated and frightened, and she very much seemed to know and delight in this.

Sam just gulped.

Janey pressed a delicate finger into his midriff and very slowly ran it up his chest. "Haven't I been so good?" she drawled.

Sam couldn't be sure if he was supposed to answer, but he was trying not to gulp again. Was it hotter than normal in the common room? The hairs on his arms were raised as though he were cold, but he felt more flustered than ever.

"Good?" he eventually asked in a weak voice, eyes wide.

Janey nodded. "I've been such a good girlfriend," she insisted. "So loyal. So… affectionate," she went on suggestively, now tracing her fingers over his jawline. Her baby blue eyes bore into his, gleaming with flirtation.

Sam was sure she was trying to manipulate him into something, but he couldn't for the life of him think what, nor why he should be bothered by it.

"And I could keep being a good girlfriend, couldn't I?"

"I, uh—yeah?"

Sam had never felt more confused in his life. Did Janey want him to kiss her again? Because with the way she was acting, and the incredibly heated way he was feeling in that moment, he thought if he were to act on it, he would not only be stripped of his Prefect title but likely expelled from the school.

"So," Janey concluded, snaking her hand around the back of Sam's neck so she could gently pull his head towards her.

Instead of bringing her lips to his again, like he'd expected, Sam felt the soft tickle of her breath against his earlobe—something Janey very much knew sent all sensations in his body into overdrive.

"You might as well make it worthwhile for me."

The sensation of her breathy whisper against his ear lingered long after Janey had turned and walked away from Sam with a grin on her face which suggested she had just killed a man and gotten away with it. He stared after her, sure he looked gormless, but unable to look away or focus on anything else. What on earth had just happened?

"I like Tiffany," Janey said as an afterthought, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder to regard Sam with innocent eyes.

Who the hell was Tiffany?

"And Chanel."

Sam's body went back to feeling like it had been flushed with icy water as Janey sauntered away from him, revelling in her chaotic energy without a glance back this time. God. So that whole performance had still been about him buying her expensive Christmas presents? Sam wanted to feel angry, but he was still confusingly enamoured by her display of seduction. Had any of it been a joke or was Janey deadly serious? Had she just implied she would break up with him if he didn't get her a good enough gift?

Sam gulped once more. Just then, a glimpse of red caught his eye, and he had a thought—a surge of hopefulness.

"Rose!" Sam called, making a beeline for the girl who had also just returned from their gruelling Quidditch practice. "Can I talk to you?" he asked, barely giving her a chance to acknowledge that he had cornered her.

"Err, sure," the girl in question said, looking affronted. "But I'm about to meet Scorpius so—"

"He can wait," Sam said aggressively and then regretted it when he saw the raising of her eyebrows.. "I'll be quick," he said in a softer tone.

Rose was regarding him with suspicion.

"It's about Janey," Sam said desperately.

Rose's expression did soften, but more so with pity than kindness. "Sam, if Janey has broken up with you again then I don't think there's much more I can say in your favour—believe me."

"No, it's not that," Sam said quickly, not even having the time to feel offended. "We're fine," he insisted. And then, thinking of the intense snogging they'd just engaged in, couldn't help but break out into a grin. "We're more than fine."

Rose looked disturbed, and Sam had to remember that not everybody was coded like James Potter, whom he had spent way too much time with over the summer.

Sam cleared his throat. "I don't know what to get Janey for Christmas." He stole a glance over his shoulder to check she was well out of earshot, but he assumed she had disappeared to her dorm room to avoid Gwen. When he caught no glimpse of blonde, nor hear her unique cackle, he decided he was safe.

Rose actually looked a little amused. "That's it?" she asked with a gentle snort.

"What the hell do you get the girl who already has everything?" he asked with desperation, an eerily similar conversation to one he'd had with his stepsister when he'd been trying to buy a birthday present for Janey back in July.

He had gone through the same impossible dilemma back then too, but he'd already used up the one good idea he'd had. In fact, he thought bitterly, he'd used up all his good ideas. Sam—or rather his stepsister—had come up with the idea that, instead of putting the emphasis on the gift, he should make the whole event of her birthday something incredible. For Janey, a girl who had never actually celebrated her birthday with her friends due to it falling in the summer break between school years, the simple delight of them all gathered together eating homemade cake and hitting up a karaoke bar had been everything she'd ever wanted. Her parents had always showered her with expensive gifts, but they had never even bothered to show up for her on the day itself. Janey loved singing, and she loved her friends, and she loved being the centre of attention—it had been one of his proudest moments as a boyfriend, Sam thought smugly.

He'd also bought her flowers, but he wasn't sure you really did that at Christmas. And the one, actual gift he had purchased for her hadn't been anything special—just a simple silver necklace, a charm with an engraved 'J' hanging from it, but which he was happy to see she still often wore. Janey didn't really do sentiment, so he'd thought gifting her something personal to herself, as opposed to him or their relationship, was a safe bet, but Sam felt like he'd gotten off lucky. If he were to buy jewellery for her again, she had as good as said it should be expensive and branded. Was she not aware that, in addition to Sam having little to no spending money, Hogsmeade didn't exactly have a Chanel outlet?

"Janey likes plenty of stuff," Rose said kindly. "Anything, really. She's probably one of the easiest people to buy for!"

"In what way?" Sam asked incredulously. "She already has everything she'd ever want!"

"Well," Rose considered. "She likes jewellery, doesn't she? And, err, makeup? And perfume, and shoes, and stuff?" But she looked less certain as she listed things, perhaps the enormity of the task which had fallen on Sam's shoulders finally sinking in.

"And what makes you think I know anything about any of that stuff," Sam said, trying not to get too frantic. "Would you dare buy her something like that?"

Rose suddenly looked deeply uncomfortable. "Alright," she said, composing herself and not answering his question. "What about something magical? She's got plenty of Muggle stuff, but she probably doesn't have that much stuff from the wizarding world, does she? And Hogsmeade would have plenty of things in that respect."

It was an admirable suggestion, Sam considered, but with one problem. "Janey doesn't really… like magic," he said glumly.

Rose didn't contradict him, which wasn't a reassuring sign. Janey was an enigma indeed. She had been plucked from the Muggle world and shown the wonders of magic, and she was probably one of the few people who didn't really care. It's not that she didn't like magic—of course she did—but she already viewed her school years as a fun little backstory in her life overall. Janey wanted to be a star—to perform on a stage. She loved films, and music, and the theatre, and performing, and she was intent on pursuing her dreams in those areas once she left the school. Magic didn't really mean as much to her as it did the others—even though she more than excelled.

"Get her something sentimental then—as her boyfriend," Rose suggested.

But, again, that was the dilemma Sam had experienced during the summer. Janey wasn't exactly a sentimental person, and anything that drew attention to the fact that she was in a serious relationship often sent her running. It's why he had bought her a necklace with her initial rather than his own. Rose knew that all too well.

"What kind of gifts has Scorpius bought for you?" Sam asked instead, desperate for ideas.

Rose frowned as she thought about it. "Well, Scorpius and I have never had a Christmas together…"

"What?" That didn't seem right—hadn't they been together, in some capacity, since they were fifteen? "Never?" Sam asked, taken by surprise.

Rose looked uncomfortable, like she didn't want to dwell on it.

"Scorpius gave me a rose for our first Valentine's Day," Rose said meekly. "But we weren't even really together."

"But you must have had birthdays together, right?"

Rose's eyes lit up as she seemed to remember something, and Sam felt hopeful. "Scorpius bought me a broomstick for my fifteenth."

Sam's heart immediately sank again. Janey already had a broomstick, obviously. And even if he opted to buy her anything related to Quidditch or the upkeep of her broom, given her abrupt departure from the team, he didn't think that would go down well at all. Rose's expression seemed to indicate that her heart went out to Sam, but before she had a chance to respond, it quickly morphed into one of panic.

Fearing Janey had approached them, Sam looked frantically around, but she was nowhere in sight. He turned back to Rose in confusion. "What?" he asked, noticing she had gone remarkably pale.

"I just realised," Rose said breathlessly. "It's Scorpius' birthday next week."

"Oh." Sam relaxed once more. "Really?" He'd never really known when any of the Slytherins' birthdays were, least of all Scorpius Malfoy. They'd never really seen eye-to-eye since before the summer.

Rose didn't answer, now in her own spiral of distress. "Oh, Merlin—with all the excitement of Christmas, I completely forgot! Now I have to get him a birthday present and a Christmas present."

Sam felt like his own dilemma had now been sidelined in favour of Rose's. "Well, you must have ideas, surely."

"I've never bought Scorpius a present before," Rose replied, a little snappy in Sam's opinion. "It took me this long to think of a good Christmas present!"

"Which is?" Sam asked hopefully, still keen for ideas of his own.

"You're not stealing my ideas to use for Janey," Rose said, now definitely irritable. "And besides"—she blushed—"it's personal to Scorpius."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Just get him something Quidditch-related," he suggested.

Rose looked thoughtful. "Maybe you could negotiate with Gwen and get Janey back on the team for Christmas," she suggested with a small smile. "I honestly don't know what she expects us to do without a Seeker."

"Oh, I already tried," Sam admitted. "But please don't tell Janey."

Rose smiled herself. "I wouldn't dare." Before she next spoke, she looked a little hesitant, like she was debating whether or not to say anything at all. "Listen," she began. "About what Gwen said about you and Janey—she was just trying to be cruel. I don't think, for a second, she actually believes anything she said."

"Oh." Sam was surprised. He hadn't really given it much thought, to be honest. Yes, it had certainly hurt to hear Gwen be so dismissive of his relationship with Janey, especially by voicing it in front of their entire team, but he had understood it had come from a place of petty anger.

"None of us think that," Rose told him sincerely. "That you're just another one of Janey's flings, or anything like that—as much as we joke about her inability to stay committed for more than a few days at a time."

"I know," Sam said, feeling a little embarrassed. He didn't really talk about his relationship with Janey—not with anybody other than her. And, even then, it was rare, given how flighty she could be.

"I know Janey won't ever admit it out loud, but it's blindingly obvious to all of us how very much she is invested in you," Rose assured him with a kind smile.

Sam felt his heart give an involuntary flutter. "Really?" he dared to ask.

He had come to fear he and Janey, at least to outsiders, were a bit of a spectacle within the walls of the castle—whether they were arguing or snogging. Like they weren't really taken seriously as a couple, but more just viewed as a wildly unpredictable show to enjoy, which would surely fizzle out by the summer—if not before. He didn't let it bother him too much, because he only really cared what Janey thought. And he hadn't been as impacted by what Gwen had said as Janey had been because, again, he knew she had said it more to wound than because she had genuinely believed it. But Sam was still doubtful that anybody other than himself realised how much he really, truly did care for Janey. It felt reassuring to hear that Rose also didn't buy into the public assumption that they would surely burn out in a furious display once enough became enough.

From where Sam was standing, there was certainly no limit to how much he would endure for Janey. As long as she always met that passion, he was content. Everybody else and their opinions be damned.

"Trust me," Rose said. "I've known Janey better than anyone for almost seven years—she's never cared about anything as much as she cares for you."

Sam felt hot once more, but it seemed to come from within. "Well," he declared, "it was certainly nice whilst it lasted."

Rose frowned. "I thought you said you were fine?"

"For now," Sam said glumly. "But she's going to dump me when I fail to get her a Christmas present up to the standard she expects."

This time, it was Rose who rolled her eyes. "She's not going to dump you—"

"She as good as said she would!" Sam protested. "And, knowing my luck, she'll actually mean it this time."

"I'm sure she was kidding," Rose insisted, but the look in her eyes didn't fill Sam with much confidence.

"Well," he said, feeling just as deflated as Rose now looked, "it's probably just as well we're going to Hogsmeade tomorrow then, isn't it?"

"Mhmm," Rose agreed.

As Sam bid her goodnight, and finally headed to his dorm room after what had felt like an impossibly long training session, he felt no more reassured than he had done before his conversation with Rose. Even if it had all been an elaborate joke designed to make him squirm, Sam wanted to impress Janey. It was their first Christmas together, and he didn't want to disappoint—nor did he want it to be their last together should he fail to do so.

He supposed he was grateful for Ebony's hold over Bobbin, and the way she had so expertly been able to wrangle her way to getting an additional last-minute Hogsmeade trip. Maybe he could even ask James for advice on what to give Janey—though no doubt he would only suggest something crude and unhelpful.

Anyhow, as Sam lay in his bed, eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling, his body once more felt as cold as the snow which continued to swirl outside.


Author's Note: Title and epigraph inspired by 'Santa Baby'—once again, there are plenty of versions, most notably Eartha Kitt's, but the one I personally listened to a lot to inspire me was the duet by Ariana Grande and Liz Gillies. I can't believe it's been a week already, and we still have one more week to go!