Chapter 1
Jessica woke up early one morning, the day before she and Seth were set to go on vacation. They had been a couple for two years and this week, they would celebrate their one-year wedding anniversary. Jessica had rented a private villa in Mexico for the next week and they were flying there tomorrow morning.
She could sense that Seth was still asleep behind her, as his arm lay heavy on her side, his warm breath in her ear. The sense of peace and happiness that pervaded her the last two years had soothed her soul in ways that she had not realized were lacking. She did not realize after Frank died all those years ago that she could ever be so happy again.
But Jessica certainly was.
Two years ago, Seth had traveled to New York to see her one weekend and attend the Broadway show based on one of her bestselling novels. The play had been a hit and ran for almost a year, but that weekend was only about a month into the run, when the critics were still buzzing about it in the media and the excitement was at its peak.
Returning to Jessica's apartment that night after the show, they had opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate the show's success, and after two glasses, they began to caress hands and arms, and before either of them knew it, they were prone on the sofa, making out like teenagers.
Jessica remembered that night well. How treasured and loved she felt in his arms. Which was exactly how he still made her feel, even when he was asleep behind her with his arm wrapped around her, as he was now.
On the sofa that night two years ago, Seth appeared to come out of the haze of desire long enough to become nervous and apologetic, trying to tell her goodnight all while moving towards the guest room door.
'Do you love me, Seth?' She had asked him quietly that night as he moved away, looking down at the floor in embarrassment at his behavior.
'Yes.' One word. He could not say anything more, because if she did not return his love, he would be broken and he would have nothing to hide behind. Admitting the depth of his love was a risk that he could not yet take.
She walked to stand in front of him, staring into his hazel eyes, as her blue eyes seemed to deepen and glitter.
'I love you, Seth. And I want you. Will you join me in my bedroom?'
Nodding, he did not trust himself to speak, but he did follow her.
There had been a long road ahead after that night. It had taken Seth several months to believe that Jessica was really in love with him and to trust her with the vulnerability he felt with her. Oh, he trusted her not to hurt him intentionally. Yet, it took a long time for him to wrap his head around the fact that the depth of love he had for her was returned. The more he shared over time about how he felt about her, the more she was able to meet him there with her own vulnerability and their love and passion grew for one another. There had been a lot of stops and starts, but they had found their way to each other.
Feeling his breathing change on her shoulder, Jessica knew he was awake, as she whispered, "Good morning, my love."
Seth kissed the curve of her neck, before saying, "Good morning, sweetheart."
Turning in his arms, she pulled him close, feeling his warm body against her own.
Holding each other close, they knew that they could take their time this morning. The day ahead would be busy with packing and preparing for their trip, but none of that would take more than a few hours. There was no need to rush through their morning.
There would be time for pillow talk.
"Are you looking forward to our vacation tomorrow?"
"Ayuh, anytime I can get away with you, my dear. Especially when that means I get you all to myself."
Leaning back, she smiled warmly, "Seth, you say the nicest things."
"Humph."
Chuckling, she tucked her head into his neck, hiding a bit as she wanted to ask him something rather personal and she was not sure how he would respond.
"Seth?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"I've never known you not to ask something you want to know, Jess. What's wrong?"
He tried to move some space in between them to look at her, but she pulled back to him, nuzzling her face in his neck. Understanding that she was embarrassed, he allowed her to hide as he waited for her to talk. Wondering what had made her suddenly uncomfortable, he tried to work out what it could be.
Before he could let his fear build though, she asked her question.
"Seth…do you have any fantasies?"
"What did you ask?"
"You heard me."
Blowing his breath out in a rush, he said, "So I did. I don't know what to say though."
"Please answer the question," she replied, with her face still pressed against the hollow of his neck and shoulder.
"Well, I have had fantasies, yes."
"Have had or have?"
Wanting to see her face, but knowing she would not be able to yet, he supposed it would make it easier to answer her this way.
He kept his answer simple and answered, "Both."
She did not say anything further, but she had not loosened her grip on him either.
"Jess?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you have fantasies?"
Silence for two full breaths, before she answered, "Yes."
Now they were getting somewhere.
"Tell me one," he whispered in her ear.
Shaking her head, she was too embarrassed, but he would not let her off that easily.
"Woman, you brought this up."
"I know."
"Then, tell me. Please."
"Do you remember the pictures of the villa?"
"The place we are renting this week?"
A nod of her head against his chest.
"Yes, vaguely, but you showed me so many options, that I am not sure I remember the one you chose in the end. I trust you to plan our vacations and if you are happy, I always know I will be. Why do you ask?"
"Do you remember the picture of the en suite in the primary bedroom? With all the windows? This was the one that was right on the ocean cliff and it is gated with a pool and the jungle surrounding it?"
"I think so."
Sighing, she said, "That's the one I chose. Anyway, the shower in the en suite is actually inside a cement wall, but otherwise open to the outside. It's on the end of the villa, so the shower does not have a roof. You actually step through a door that can be locked from the rest of the suite into the shower area. There is a rain shower head and a bench seat. It's big enough for two."
Was she suggesting what he thought she was?
In a small voice, still nestled against his neck and chest, she said, "When I chose that villa, I chose it because I could see us making love in the shower. I want to have you…take me…outside where we can hear the ocean below and smell the salt in the air…"
"Jess…that sounds enticing. When you say you want me to take you…what do you mean exactly?"
"I mean, I want you to take me…not without consent…but with passion and almost a lack of control on either of our parts…I want you to push me against the shower wall and enter me and if we tire from standing, I want you to make me lay down on the bench and finish. I want to see the sky above us, as you…move inside my body over and over again until we can both take no more, crying out from our passion."
Seth was aroused and there was no hiding it. When she felt his body quiver against her, she whispered, "Take me now, my darling."
Finally, she allowed him to pull back enough to see her face, as she looked at him boldly.
Lifting her nightgown up and over her body in one smooth motion, he pulled her underwear down her legs, moving her legs apart to wrap around his body. Shoving his own pajama pants down, she made quick work of his shirt buttons. Sensing that part of this was about speed and intensity and passion and a lack of control for her, he felt to make sure there was enough moisture in her most private of parts, shocked to feel there was more than even usual. Gazing into her eyes to make sure this is what she wanted, he saw her desire and entered her fully in one smooth motion, hearing her cry out as she arched her back all at the same time.
Jessica knew that her reaction could make him stop, so she reached to cling to his arms, even as she formed enough words to say, "Don't stop now."
Beginning to move inside her, he felt her pull him back towards her with each pushing motion of his, the tension of their literal push and pull, making the intensity of their lovemaking that much more passionate and even primal.
Feeling her legs widen for him, inviting him further into her embrace, she murmured against his ear, "Take me, my love, make me yours." Fully seated within her, he could not stop the groans that poured forth from his mouth, even as he heard her own.
At the frantic pace they had set, it was no surprise as their panting became loud and frequent, even as their grip on each other's bodies became stronger, as they both broke out in a thin sheen of sweat, aiding their bodies' movements as they glided over one another in smoothness and ease.
He could feel her body tighten around him, as she moved closer towards orgasm. Planting kisses along her neck and shoulders, he nibbled her skin just enough to see what reaction she would have, even as he continued his onslaught of her lower half as he thrusted into her. He was not disappointed, as she bucked underneath him, crying out, "Oh god, Sethhhh, yessss, yessss," tossing her head back and forth, her fingers embedded in his arms, as her cries faded to whimpers.
When her body stilled below him, she opened her eyes to find him staring at her. Growing red in the face, she smiled, while moving her hips up to meet his own that had frozen after she had come undone, saying seductively, "Come for me, Seth. Let me hear you, my love." Pulling his face to her own, she snaked her tongue into his mouth, plundering it and claiming it. It only took seconds, before he shuddered against her, calling out her name.
Completely spent, they held each other close, not speaking for a long time. Close to sleep, Seth was overwhelmed by Jessica's confession and the resulting outcome from it. Thinking that was the end of it though, he had pulled her to his chest and felt her body relax against him.
But Jessica was not done, because she said, "Seth, it's your turn. Tell me one of your fantasies."
"Jessica!" He tried to sound stern, but for what purpose? It would not deter her from getting the truth out of him if she really wanted to know, nor would he ever want to shame her for this conversation as she had trusted him to tell her own fantasy, despite the way he just said her name.
"Please."
He could not and would not deny her anything.
But this? It was so personal, yet so unlikely that she would ever engage in this fantasy that he considered telling her the most minor one that he could think of, yet dismissed the thought as soon as he had it. She would know what he was doing and that would be even worse than coming out and telling her the fantasy that he sometimes had erotic dreams about and woke up wanting his wife so badly that he would wake her in the night so they could climb the heavens together.
"If I tell you…"
"Tell me."
"If I tell you…I don't want you to feel any pressure to act on it. Ever. Promise me that if you ever do this, that it won't be because you feel you have to, to please me, because you please me every day no matter what simply by being you, Jess."
"I promise," she whispered against his chest.
Now, he was grateful that he had allowed her to hide her face earlier, as he wanted the same courtesy now and it seemed she understood as she kept her face lowered on his chest.
"Jess, I have had the fantasy of you pleasuring me…with your mouth..."
This was horrendous. How in the world could he get this out? What must she be thinking already?
Instead, she said, "Go on."
"I guess…the place or time or other details aren't as important, just the act of oral pleasure is enough to fill my mind…but usually when I reach the tipping point, I imagine that you pull away and get onto your hands and knees…I enter you from behind while you hold…onto the headboard…I grasp your hips and…thrust into you until we both climax together."
There is another pause, but this time, is it his imagination or is it less awkward?
"So, if I did this, would you like us to start on the bed or do I need to kneel on the floor or perhaps on the couch or somewhere else?"
His mouth was dry. Was she actually considering this?
"My love, if you want to try it at some point, I can assure you that I will be willing wherever and however you would like us to be."
"May I ask…" her voice trails off, sounding uncertain.
"Jess, ask anything you want. Now is not the time for any lack of clarity."
"Did Ruth not do that for you?" A pause. "Or maybe she did and you miss it? Perhaps you have been missing this from our lovemaking?"
"Oh lord, Jessica. Nothing could be further from the truth, woman. You please me by breathing. By being next to me every night. By your smile and your laugh. And the way your eyes dance when you look at me. By sharing your body with me and allowing me to see you come undone as I love you. But…to answer your questions about Ruth. She tried a few times and while I enjoyed it, she did not. Being a nurse, she was a bit of what I have heard termed, a "germaphobe" now. And I never wanted any of the other women to do it."
It was now his turn to trail off in thought.
"One more question."
"Ask it."
She whispered, "If I try…would you be willing to reciprocate?"
Startled, of all the things she could have asked, he was not expecting that.
"Of course, I would, sweetheart. I want to please you in every way imaginable and if you think that would give you pleasure, I would love to give that to you."
Nodding against his chest, she snuggled into his embrace, not saying anything further.
"Now I have a question…did Frank not…"
She knew he would ask and the heat flooding her face, as she knew she could not lie was intense.
"He did…and I did to him. We both enjoyed it…I have thought about trying it with you before, but wasn't sure if you were interested…"
Seth tried not to feel jealous as the image of his wife giving to Frank Fletcher what he had always wanted formed in his mind, even as he knew the absurdity of it, as she was Frank's wife before she was his.
"Did you ever give to Ruth that way?"
"No, she was a loving and vibrant woman, but for some reason, she never even let me try. After asking a number of times the first few years, I eventually gave up."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be! My only regret at this moment is that we have already been together for two years and are only now finding out these desires."
Turning to make eye contact, while leaning her chin against his chest, her eyes held his, as she said, "I believe, Seth Hazlitt, that this vacation tomorrow is going to be most exciting."
"You promise?"
"Oh, I most definitely do promise," she said, as she tilted her head back to laugh, as he turned her on her back to tickle her sides.
