Open when you're drinking a glass of your favourite shiraz.

Elinor has fallen asleep, to say she's meant to be the fun energetic one out of the pair of them. Between the two them they have gone through a fair few bottles of wine, and maybe Serena is slightly drunk. But she wants to stay awake, wants to see the New Year in so she can finally say that Bernie is coming home that year!

Thinking of Bernie, she wishes she had an envelope to open tonight, knows Bernie hasn't written her a specific New Year's Eve one because Bernie struggles with New Year in a way Serena knows, even if Bernie lets onto no one else. She hates the fireworks; they remind her of the gun shots and explosions she'd heard in the field, knows that while she is just about able to cope if she keeps busy that so many of her old comrades or other service personal aren't okay. The other reason Bernie doesn't like New Year is because of the pressure and expectations everyone is expected to put on themselves. Serena had never thought of it like that before, not until her and Bernie had spent New Year together two years ago, Bernie having worked the one before that. But when Bernie had explained it all to Serena, she had to agree that it did make sense, she for one had never managed to keep a New Year's resolution in her life, and she hasn't made one since. She has to admit she's only ever felt better for the fact.

She takes a slow sip of her shiraz, she may not be making a New Year's resolution, but it is still New Year's Eve, so she has cracked open the best stuff, the stuff she doesn't get out every day. And it's then that she remembers that she seen just the right envelope for this. She's been through her box of open when letter so many times that by now she's sure she knows the titles of most of the ones that are left.

She stands from the sofa, careful not to disturb Elinor as she moves, and goes to her bedroom to find her box of letters, hidden away from prying eyes because these are something special for her and Bernie. She thumbs through them delicately, can't believe how empty the box looks compared to the day she first received it, all the open letters having been moved into the wicker basket on her nightstand. It doesn't take her long to find the one she wants. "Serena - Open when you're drinking a glass of your favourite shiraz…".

She takes herself to the kitchen first, refilling her half full glass, wants to literally be drinking her favourite shiraz as she reads her letter from Bernie. She walks back into the living room then, glancing at Elinor still fast asleep and snoring gently on the sofa, and decides to sit on the armchair instead so not to wake her.

She tucks her legs under herself and gently supports the glass of shiraz as she allows it to rest on the arm of the armchair, using one of her free fingers to open the envelope, fingers stumbling a little due to the amount of wine she's consumed.

My Dearest Serena

Drinking a glass, or well knowing you a bottle of your favourite shiraz it must be a special occasion, not your birthday or our anniversary, I've sent you separate letters for each of those, but it must still be something special for you to crack open a bottle of your very favourite shiraz. Whatever the occasion I'm glad you feel happy enough to drink it, you and I both know you only open the special stuff when you are feeling happy.

I might not be there with you but the idea of you being happy, and content fills my heart with joy, it's all I ever want for you. I know life can't always be like that, isn't always a bed of roses, but right now I'm glad you have something to celebrate.

I know when you're celebrating something happy that it makes you think of the future, of all the things the future may entail so right now let me help you with that. I think about our future frequently. This idea of getting to spend the rest of my life with you is a source of so much joy and comfort for me. I dream about the sunsets and sunrises we will get to share together.

I feel so lucky that when I am home, I am the first person you see once I wake up, usually before you, because you are such a deep sleeper. I can't believe I'm the one who gets to brighten your mornings with my smile and have my mornings brightened in return. I am so lucky that I am the only person who will get to feel those soft affectionate kisses you give while your all sleepy and cuddly.

I can't believe I get a future where I get to be the one that sees that passionate loving stare in your eyes only for me, and that I get to return it with just as much fever. I am so glad that I can be the one who you come home to after a busy day at work, that I can warm you up when you're feeling cold. I know that I want to be with you forever.

So Serena, whatever it is you are celebrating, do so know that I am so happy for you and that I can't wait to have so many more special times with you celebrating, ones where I can actually be there and enjoy sharing your favourite shiraz with you, even if you do always seem to end up drinking more of the bottle than you share.

I love you and miss you so much.

All My Love Bernie,

Your Big Macho Army Medic x

And just like that her glass of wine is almost gone, not that she can remember drinking it whilst she was reading, and her cheeks are wet with tears. She'll blame the second part on all the wine she's drank.

"She really does mean the world to you doesn't she." The voice makes Serena jump, she'd totally forgotten anyone else was here, so wrapped up in Bernie's letter, and the fact that Elinor had been asleep.

She looks up at Elinor, not exactly sure what to say, wants to be honest but doesn't want to offend Elinor or make their relationship any more difficult than it can already be at time.

"I…I…"

"Mum, please, be honest." And Serena has to at that, can't lie to Elinor.

"She does, more than I ever imagined she would. And I love her too so much, undeniably, and unconditionally. I mean not in the same way I love you because of course…"

"Mum it's okay you don't need to ramble. I can tell."

Serena looks at her quizzically then, unsure how exactly Elinor can tell when her and Bernie have been together in a room literally a handful of times.

"The look on your face as you were reading that," Elinor says pointing at Bernie's letter. You never once looked like that around dad, so if just reading a letter from her can make you light up the way it did, I don't think anyone can fail to notice just how much she means to you. I'm happy for you mum."

And Serena is crying in earnest then because she misses Bernie so much and it hurts and she wants her here, but also Elinor in her own roundabout way has just given them her approval. Whilst not having her approval before now would never have stopped the way Serena feels about Bernie, has never changed the decisions she has made, having the approval of her only daughter does make her feel ever hopeful that they may all be able to spend more time together.

She feels the arm of the armchair dip as Elinor sits down on it, hand coming to rub at her back. "She'll be okay you know mum, because you know why, if she isn't she'd have you to deal with, and believe you me that's scary and I should know."

And Serena is laughing then, cheeks still wet from the tears, and it's so out of place but also so perfect at the same time. And then suddenly she hears them, the fireworks beginning to explode outside, lighting up the nights sky, and she realises just like that it's New Year's Day. She lifts her glass to clink against Elinor's, its slight awkward with their position but they make it work. Serena finishes the last of her wine, only thought on her mind being that her brave Soldier is coming home later this year.