pt. 1 i'd like to have a conversation

TW: Referenced Child Abuse, Grief/Mourning

Hunter rolled over in the strange bedroll that Camila had given him. It was called a sleeping bag apparently, which Hunter supposed was an adept name for the item. It was shaped like a bag with the opening at the top and closure at the bottom, and it was apparently meant for sleeping. Not that Hunter was doing much sleeping.

It was their first night in the human realm, and Camila has scrambled to find space for them all. The girls had been placed in the Noceda sister's rooms with various cots and other sleeping bags. Him and Gus had found residence in the basement, Gus taking ownership of the couch over by the staircase and Hunter electing to sleep on the floor. It had surprised him when Camila had given it to him at all – Hunter had spent more than enough sleeping on floors on missions and the like, but it was a welcome surprise none the less. It was more comfortable than the floor.

Not that the comfort was helping him sleep. Hunter felt too restless to sleep. Concerned over what was happening in his home dimension; anxious over what his future was now that it seemed they were stuck here for the foreseeable future; and not to mention worried over what had become of Darius, as last Hunter saw of him, he was withering on the ground in pain before Hunter had been forced to move on to find Luz, unable to help him.

Darius had been one of the few people to show him any kindness in his time as the Golden Guard. Sure, Darius had rebuffed him more often than he acknowledged him and he never smothered Hunter in affection, but Darius had kept Hunter's secrets when he had no reason to. And besides he was far and away better than Belos had ever been.

Hunter shivered in his sleeping bag, pulling in on himself and hugging his knees to his chest.

Belos. Even though the man was seemingly dead, Hunter felt the ghost of fear ever since he left the Emperor's mind still haunting him. Belos - or Philip? No, Belos – had been hunting for him, most likely to destroy him and make another grimwalker. Even though Belos was gone and Hunter was now in another dimension, that fear was still keeping his mind awake. Like any second now, Belos would burst through the door of the basement and come take him, kicking and screaming to the Emperor's Castle.

Not to mention the grief. Oh yes, because despite everything, Hunter could not stop himself from mourning Belos.

Belos had treated him like dirt – no, less than dirt. And Hunter had taken it, believing this was just the way things worked. You messed up, you got punished with cuts and kicks and loud silences that telegraphed how much you failed and were a failure. Festering in him was resentment and fear at his uncle (could he still call him that even?), hatred even for the way he had been treated.

But he had also always been the only family that Hunter had ever known. He had no memories of a life before being in Belos's care (now he knew why) and Hunter had wanted nothing more than to please and be loved by Belos. Hunter had loved Belos, way more than Belos ever deserved, and been unflinchingly loyal to him.

Hate and love wrestled with each other inside of him. As it did, Hunter was left to mourn. Mourn the life he had, the family he never had, and the world he called home.

All of that made it nearly impossible to sleep.

At first, Gus had stated up with him, at first talking with him about the cool human things he wanted to try while he was here. Gus was so much younger than Hunter, and Hunter could see that the boy was just trying to see the positives so the weight of what was happening didn't well and truly settle on his shoulders.

But eventually, Gus's jubilant tone grew soft and distant. A few minutes before Gus had fallen asleep, he had turned to Hunter and told him that he was scared as well, wondering about what the future held.

"Do you think we'll find a way home?" Gus has asked, sounding like the frightened twelve-year-old he was.

Hunter had hesitated than gave him the best impression of a comforting smile that Hunter had.

"Of course we'll find a way," Hunter responded. Hunter wondered if it was considered lying, answering with certainty when you didn't have it.

Gus had settled into sleep after that – he was so young after all, and all this excitement had tired him out.

Hunter sighed and looked at where Flapjack was sitting on his pillow, head nestled into his wing as he slept. Hunter hated to wake him, but he really did not want to be alone with his thoughts right now.

"Flap," he whispered. Flapjack almost instantly rose to wokeness, so quickly that Hunter wondered if he had even been asleep at all. Flapjack titled his head at Hunter.

You should be asleep.

It was the weirdest thing, being able to communicate with his palisman. Hunter could not understand the sounds other palismans made, it just sounded like the average sounds an animal would make. But with Flapjack, Hunter could understand him just as easily as he was speaking Witchlish. Or English – Hunter was surprised that their hadn't been a communication barrier between this world and theirs.

"I know," Hunter said, continuing to whisper, not wanting to wake Gus. "But I can't."

Flapjack blinked and then chirped again.

Go get some water. Maybe moving around will help.

Hunter did not have a better idea, so he took his palisman's advice. Hunter unzipped himself from the sleeping bag and stood, Flapjack rising to perch himself on his shoulder. Hunter was nervous to be moving around in the house while everyone else was asleep, not wanting to anger Camila or wake anyone up with his noise. But he also knew he couldn't stay down here, just lying in the dark. He had to do something.

Hunter walked up the steps of the basement and softly shut the door behind him, making his way to the kitchen. He moved deftly, using the kind of steps he would take when trying to sneak up on someone as the Golden Guard. The carpeted floor was soft under his socked feet, but it was always possible there was a squeaky floorboard beneath it.

He made it to the doorway of the kitchen, and stopped short when he saw the light was on and that someone was sitting at the table, their back to him.

It was not hard to make out who it was, however. Their hair was still in its usual primp and proper bun and sitting next to a yellow mug on the table was their palisman, a tiny elephant, sitting on its haunches as their bonded stared off into the window behind the sink.

It was Isabela, Luz's older sister.

Hunter hesitated at the door, unsure what to do. Hunter did not know Isabela that well. To be fair, he did not know any of the people he was stuck here with that well. Hunter was not even sure the others would consider him a friend at this point. Hunter had really only spent one prolonged experience with Isabela, and that was when the two of them had gotten stuck in a labyrinth cave and been forced to work together to get out.

That was back when Hunter had still been the Golden Guard, not too long after Hunter's adventure with Luz concerning the palisman. To pass the time they had traded inconsequential bits of themselves, or at least Isabela had. Hunter had just parroted all the things Belos had told him about himself that Hunter had believed – he was Belos's nephew, he was his right-hand, he was doing what was best for the Isle.

Isabela had, for her part, given him things that seemed to be true about her. She was the elder Noceda sister, she loved her family, and she had come from the human realm almost a month and a half after her sister. Something or other about catching Luz when she was confronting Lilith near the portal.

Just when Hunter had decided to turn around and go back to the basement, Flapjack chirped on his shoulder.

Say 'hi'!

Isabela heard the chirp and turned at the sound, surprised, moth forming a slight 'o' and brows furrowing. Isabela's palisman, Algernon, made a small trumpting sound from his trunk in greeting. Isabela quickly got over her surprise and smiled at him, motioning for him to join her in the kitchen. She rose to stand as well.

"Hey Hunter," Isabela said. She titled her head to the side in understanding. "Couldn't sleep?"

"No, I couldn't," Hunter answered, seeing no reason to lie.

"Yeah, me neither," Isabela responded. She started to make her way towards the cupboard and pulled out a clear, tall glass. "You want some water? That's what I came to get, thought it might center me."

"Oh, um, yes," Hunter said, remembering what he came for. Flapjack hopped off of his shoulder and flittered over to where Algernon sat on the table. Isabela pressed a button on the refrigerator and then pushed the glass under an opening. Water sprouted out of a tube connected to the opening and poured it into the glass.

Hunter stared in amazement. They had refrigerators in the Demon Realm, as how else would they keep perishables cold? But they didn't have buttons that would shoot out water – most people on the Boiling Isles were more than capable of summoning water for themselves if they were thirsty. Or they just used the tap if they couldn't do that like Hunter.

"Here," Isabela said, handing the glass to him. Hunter hesitated at first to take it. It was an age-old instinct of his. Trust no one. And even if you did trust them, never accept a favor. It showed weakness.

Hunter shook his head to clear it and then took the glass. Isabela would not think he was weak for taking a glass of water, surely. Hunter took a sip carefully, and the two stood there in silence for a few moments.

Isabela folded her hands behind her back, and Hunter kept his eyes on the glass of water. Hunter was not sure what to say, and it seemed neither was Isabela. Finally, Isabela cleared her throat and motioned with her head to the table.

"I wasn't planning on going back to bed yet, but if you were – no pressure or anything – I just can't –," Isabela kept cutting herself off, until finally she sighed and held her hand out to the table. "Would you like to sit down?"

Again, Hunter hesitated, but then he nodded. It was not like he was going to go to sleep soon anyway.

Isabela retook her seat at the table, reaching to pull her yellow mug closer to herself. There was still a little bit of steam rising from the cup and something Isabela had earlier in the night called a tea bag sitting inside the ceramic glass. It seemed that Isabela had not been down her that long herself.

They lapsed into silence once again, and Hunter searched for something to say. It felt weird and awkward just to sit here in silence like this. Hunter usually preferred silence, but everything had been turned so upside down in the past few hours that he might as well say something to the girl who had without question spent her first few hours back in her own dimension trying to help them acclimate.

"So….you must be happy to be home," Hunter started. Isabela looked up and tried to smile, but quickly dropped it.

"Oh, yes. Home….,"

Hunter could sense he had something wrong in his very brief sentence, but what he wasn't sure.

"Are you…..not happy to be home?" Hunter asked. Hunter could relate to that. His home had been a quiet and intimidating castle full of horrors. Even back when he was a proud member of the Emperor's Coven, he still had not enjoyed the castle being his home.

Isabela bit the inside of her cheek.

"No, no, of course I am," Isabela said slowly after a long pause. "I've missed mamá, and I can't count how many times that I've dreamt and hoped of finding a way to come back. But…..," she sighed, "I didn't want it to be like this."

This being himself, Gus, Amity, and Willow being trapped this time in her dimension instead of the other way around. This being them being here while all their loved ones in the Demon Realm dealt with the fallout of releasing the Collector.

"I never wanted to go to the Demon Realm," Isabela started. "I only went because I made a promise to my dad before he died, that I would do whatever it took to protect Luz. When I saw Luz with Lilith – a strange woman I had never seen before back then – when she was supposed to be away at camp, I knew she was wrapped up in something big and frightening. And I couldn't let her face it alone."

Hunter was silent in response. Hunter had noticed that Isabela and Luz did not seem to have a second parent around despite featuring one in several photos, but Hunter had not questioned it. There were lots of single parents in the Demon Realm, and Hunter was sure it was the same thing here in the Human Realm. It's not like Hunter himself exactly had two parents himself. Or any parents, really. Only Belos.

He had not known that Isabela and Luz's dad had died. Back when Hunter had thought that everyone else in his family was dead, he had felt a grief that settled on his shoulders like his cloak. Always there, just perched on his shoulder, ready to spill out and ruin him at any moment. Now that he knew that was a lie, that grief had transformed into what he was feeling now.

Hunter had no way of knowing how long their father had been gone. It must have been a while, given that Hunter had seen no recent photos of the man.

"That was very noble of you," Hunter said. Isabela shook her head.

"Noble?" Isabela returned. "It wasn't noble. I was doing what I've always done. Protect Luz." Isabela sighed and took a sip of her tea. She reached over and scratched behind Algernon's ears. Algernon trumpeted happily and Isabela cracked the smallest of smiles. "Sometimes I wonder if she even needs me to protect her anymore. She's…. she's grown so much, since she met Eda and King."

Hunter knew he should say something, something to assure her that Luz would always need her. But Hunter had thought only a week ago that he would be unflinchingly loyal to the man who abused and used him as a tool until the day he died. Hunter was not one to be going around talking about how things were always meant to be.

Isabela shook her head and then turned to Hunter.

"But enough about me," Isabela said, a false levity returning to her voice. "How are you doing with everything? I'm sure all of this must be confusing."

Confusing was a conservative word for what Hunter was feeling. But Hunter was not sure he could unload everything he was feeling on Isabela. Even though him and Isabela had essentially been in battle against Belos together, Hunter found that he barely knew her. And even if he did, he was never one to reveal what he was feeling to anyone.

So, Hunter merely shrugged. "I'm fine."

Flapjack chirped on the table. Liar.

Hunter was grateful that Isabela could not understand Flapjack.

Regardless, Isabela raised a skeptical brow.

"Really?" Isabela asked. "You found out your uncle was a evil tyrant, went on the run, fought said uncle, nearly died from a draining spell, and then got trapped in an alternate dimension. In a single week. After all that, you're 'fine'."

Hunter blinked. "Well, when you put it like that."

Isabela rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

"I know, I know, you're the super strong, no-nonsense, don't need anybody tough guy," Isabela said. "But let's just say I have a little experience with being trapped in an alternate dimension with seemingly no way to get home. So, if you want to talk…. I'm here."

Hunter knew he was unlikely to take that offer up anytime soon, but the offer being made at all still felt…. nice.

"I'll think about it," Hunter said. Hunter took a sip of his water, the cool liquid feeling like a calming draught in it's purpose. Isabela smiled at him and then turned her gaze to her palisman, whose eyes were starting to droop in tiredness. Hunter tilted his head curiously.

"You know, I didn't know that palisman could even bond with humans, until I saw that you had one," Hunter commented. "There was no recorded instances of a human having one in the Castle Archives."

"I wasn't sure I would bond with one either," Isabela admitted. "To be honest, I didn't even want one. But Luz insistent that I come to Palisman Adoption Day, and then I kinda got peer pressured into it. So I walked up and revealed my greatest want….and then Algernon picked me." She smiled down at her palisman, who had curled up to sleep on the kitchen table. Flapjack did not look too far behind Algernon in that regard. "Of course, now I can't imagine life without him."

"I feel that way about Flapjack," Hunter said. "I honestly don't think I could make it through everything I did without him there." He was my first friend, Hunter added mentally.

They were quiet again, and Isabela took another sip of her tea. She seemed to be thinking for a moment and then she turned to Hunter, looking very solemn and unsure at the same time.

"I'm sorry for your loss," she said. Hunter sucked in a breath and then looked away.

It seemed that Isabela understood that Hunter both loved and hated Belos.

"He-he was a monster. He ruined everything he touched. He never loved me. He beat me. He hated me, even," Hunter spat out. Then tears collected in his eyes. "But why do I miss him?"

Isabela reached to put a hand on his shoulder, but hesitated right before she made contact. Hunter nodded to her that it was okay, and so she lowered a comforting touch onto his shoulder.

"Because he was all you ever knew," Isabela said. "He was all you had, you had nothing else to compare him to. He was your family. Because even though he hated you, you loved him. Maybe you don't anymore – and I don't blame you if you don't – but you did once upon a time." Isabela gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "It's okay to mourn him, even if you don't understand why you are. Emotions are…. complicated. Grief is complicated. Feel what you feel, and don't feel ashamed by it."

Hunter felt a nuzzling at his cheek, and he looked to see Flapjack there, staring up at him with a kind and comforting expression. Hunter wiped at his tears and sniffled once, but then he took a deep breath, counting back from four like Gus taught him.

Hunter turned back to Isabela.

"Thank you," Hunter said weakly. "For, uh, saying that."

Isabela brought a hand to her chest dramatically.

"Did I just get a 'thank you' from the former Golden Guard?" Isabela asked. "I never thought I would see the day."

Hunter laughed hoarsely. "Very funny."

"Thank you, I thought it was," Isabela breezed. She then yawned and stood back up, walking over to the sink.

"I think I'm going to try going to sleep again," Isabela said. She looked at Hunter seriously. "Unless you want me to stay up with you, which I totally can do."

"No, I'm…. okay," Hunter assured. "Go ahead and go back to sleep. I'll finish my water and head back to the basement."

Isabela nodded. "If you're sure."

She put the mug in the sink to be washed in the morning and then picked Algernon up off the table, holding him in her arms.

"I'll…..see you tomorrow," Isabela said as a goodbye. Hunter waved goodbye as Isabela exited the kitchen.

"See you tomorrow."

Hunter finished his water like he said and headed back to the basement, zipping himself back up in his sleeping bag. The last thing he thought of before he fell asleep was what Isabela said.

Feel what you feel, and don't feel ashamed by it.

And as the next three months passed, he would take that to heart.

Me? Write another CanonxOC story? Just as likley as you think.

If y'all want some more of this, let me know. I kind of wrote this just because I wanted to write something fun and explore this OC, but I have ideas for how Isabela fits into this world and other stories for her.

HAPPY EASTER! HE IS RISEN!

Questions, comments, or concerns? Let me know! Have a blessed day!

-PrincessChess