Hi guys! I really wanted to write something and get it published, and I know that realistically Olivia has been through so much and with Elliot to be there for her, she can afford to break down a little more than we perhaps see in SVU. That being said, please please please let me know if you think it's getting too much and that she's acting too OOC. We all love Badass Benson because she's so strong, despite everything she's been through. I do have ideas of where I want this to go though where we'll see happy Bensler and more of a future for Olivia. Anyway, enough rambling. Please let me know your thoughts and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Olivia is, unsurprisingly she supposes, the first to wake up out of the two. Finding herself still nestled against Elliot, she smiles a little to herself as she lays there, breathing in the scent that is so unmistakably him. For a moment, all she wants to do is lay in bed and forget everything, focusing on how she can hear his heart beating underneath her and the weight of his arm that is still wrapped around her. She takes a glance at the clock on the nightstand.

6.51, not an entirely unreasonable time to be awake. Besides, isn't she supposed to be giving her statement today? She vaguely remembers something about Elliot promising to return with her early this morning and, though she's reluctant to, she knows she has to. They have to catch Lewis and hold him accountable for everything he did and, as she is their star witness, the responsibility for that lies primarily at her feet. Elliot protected her yesterday, she knows that and she is grateful for it, but she has to do what is right now and what is needed of her: she has to tell them what happened. Anyway, it's not like anything he did to her was as bad as what he did to Alice and the Mayers. She can get through this; she will be ok. She has helped countless witnesses and victims provide their statements and this will be no different.

However, she's not exactly rushing to do so and so she settles back against Elliot. Despite her lingering tiredness though, she can't fall back asleep and instead settles for tracing the same patterns up and down his leg that he soothed her with yesterday, fingers ghosting against his skin in an effort not to wake him up. There's no chance he'll have slept properly, if at all, since he heard the news about her disappearance and she knows he needs to sleep.

God knows one of us should, she can't help but think.

And so they continue to lie together, Elliot's arm draped protectively over her waist while Olivia occupies herself, studying every part of him she can see without turning too much and risking waking him. Even though they've clearly just slept together for a whole night, she still can't quite believe he's here. It is very on brand for them though, she thinks to herself. He vanished without so much as a word, so this unexpected reappearance is not entirely out of character. Still, she wonders why he is back at all, where Kathy is and how his kids must be handling all this.

What has he even told them? How on earth did he persuade Kathy to let him come?

Olivia pushes the thought from her mind, despite the guilt. She hopes to god he cleared his trip with his wife, or they'll both be in for it and she's not sure she could deal with that right now.

She's not sure how much time passes before she feels Elliot stir underneath her. She stays still and closes her eyes as though she's still asleep, only moving when he starts playing with her hair gently to wake her up.

'Livia,' he whispers, 'we gotta get up.'

He wishes they could stay like that forever, him shielding her from the outside world.

Olivia nods and sits up to face him but avoids eye contact. 'I'm sorry about last night and…' she gestures between them, referencing the fact that he had to hold her all night which cannot have been comfortable.

Elliot understands instantly. In thirteen years of partnership, she had always hated to show any weakness to him or the rest of the squad. He didn't know if it was because she frequently found herself the only woman on the job at a time where the NYPD wasn't exactly known for their pioneering in the fight for gender equality, or whether it was a determination not to be like her mother: regardless, it was always the biggest reason she'd never let anyone in, he thought. The same had been true after Sealview and, though he'd known that something had happened, something bad, he'd been unable to push it for fear of angering her. Clearly though, this was worse than Sealview, if she had allowed him to piece her back together, even just last night.

'Hey, you don't have to apologize to me,' he assures her, placing a hand on her thigh and making her look at him.

'Maybe to Kathy, though,' Olivia whispers in return.

She sighs and looks away again, pulling away and trying to head towards the bathroom to shower. It wasn't that she blamed or resented Kathy, which was impossible seeing that she was the one married to Elliot, just that she wished things were different.

Elliot grabs her arm, gently turning her back around to face him. 'Don't worry about that for now Liv, ok? You are my priority at the minute.'

Didn't he know just how much his kindness was ripping her apart?

'Why don't you grab a shower and I'll get some breakfast, yeah?' Elliot sighs. 'Cragen needs your statement today.'

Olivia nods. That she could focus on. That she was prepared for. She could do this.

Exhaustion had forced her to go to bed last night before taking a shower and, though they'd cleaned her up at the hospital, she still felt grimy. Hesitating before doing so, she leaves the bathroom door open and turns the shower on to the highest water pressure and as hot as she can tolerate. Elliot won't come in, she knows that, and if she leaves the door open, she'll be able to see if anyone else tries to.

It is irrational, she knows it is. Lewis would struggle to get past Elliot, even if he could somehow escape custody and find her, undetected by the entire NYPD who would be searching for him within seconds. Still, it makes her feel somewhat better.

Besides, she also knows that Elliot will appreciate being able to keep an ear out for her.

Steam fills the room and immediately goes to her head, threatening to make her dizzy from a combined lack of food and the resulting hangover from all the vodka that had been forced down her throat. Olivia steps under the thundering water, the sound of it hitting the shower tray soothing her and filling the empty silence. She never thought she'd be bothered by silence in New York, but lately whenever there wasn't some kind of sound in the background, she'd wind up lost in thought.

Once she gets used to the temperature, she turns the knob again to increase it further, staring down at the bright red of her skin. Then she reaches for the washcloth and starts scrubbing, nowhere in particular, just wherever she reaches first. Legs, arms, back, stomach. She's not fussy; she just needs to get him off of her.

She can feel his hands on her throat, on her face, on the sides of her body, creeping up her thigh.

She scrubs harder.

Then his eyes appear among the steam, the wicked glint the only part of them that isn't entirely dead.

He's come back for her. She's not safe.

Olivia freezes, the shower still hammering down against her head and blurring her vision. His eyes remain crystal clear though.

…

Elliot steps out of the bedroom, knowing she won't want him too close while she's showering. He wants to be nearby, though, in case she does need him and he notes the way she's left both the bedroom and bathroom doors open, as if she too is aware that she might. Spotting what he is looking for, he crosses the room to the room service menu he discarded on the coffee table whenever it is he last ate before bringing Olivia back. He calls the number listed using the room's phone and orders toast and some fruit, knowing she won't be up for much but he wants her to eat something.

Little and often, he thinks.

They have a coffee machine included in the room and he's sure it's better than whatever they're used to drinking from the precinct, which was never good but was necessary to get them through the late shifts. Elliot glances at his watch, wondering just how long Olivia is going to take. Having lived with Kathy and three daughters, he is no stranger to the length of a woman's shower, but he also never had her pegged as one to take a long shower. The demands of their job usually meant they would sleep as much as humanly possible before they jumped in the shower before running out the door to work.

Before he can grow too concerned, a knock at the door announces the arrival of their breakfast, which Elliot accepts from the server gratefully.

'Breakfast, Liv!' he calls, setting down the tray and helping himself to a slice of buttered toast that he knows she is less likely to eat than the fruit.

He inserts a coffee pod into the machine and sets the mug under it.

'Liv?'

His watch tells him that she's been in the shower far too long now and he just knows that something isn't right. Setting down his toast, Elliot steps into the bedroom and knocks softly on the open bathroom door.

'Livia, everything okay?'

She still doesn't reply and by now he knows that she ought to be able to hear him. The water continues to pound down but he can't even hear her moving.

Elliot sighs. 'Liv, I'm gonna come in, okay? I won't look, I promise. I just need to make sure you're okay.'

He grabs the towel he left on the bed for her and enters the bathroom, immediately realizing that his promise not to look is entirely redundant given how much steam fills the small room: he can barely see where the shower is, let alone her standing in it.

'Liv?'

Nearly slipping on the condensation on the cool tiled flooring, Elliot makes his way over to her steadily, trying not to make her jump.

'Olivia, you okay?'

It's futile, he knows that. She is very clearly not okay but he desperately wants her to snap out of whatever daze she seems to be in before he has to do it himself.

'Li- oh Jesus,' Elliot curses as his hand comes into contact with the scalding water as he tries to turn it off. 'Liv, it's far too hot.'

He grits his teeth and finally shuts the water off, wincing as he feels his hand burn. It doesn't compare to the dark red that her entire body has gone, though, and so he wraps the fluffy towel around her gently and guides her out of the shower.

'I'm sorry,' her whisper comes, just as he was expecting.

'Don't. Don't apologize, Liv, you're okay.'

Elliot is quick to respond, trying to show her that she truly doesn't have to be sorry to him. As far as he is concerned, she has earned herself a free pass to do exactly as she wishes for a while.

'I couldn't get it off.'

'I know, sweetheart, but there's nothing there, see?'

He holds up her uninjured arm for her to see.

'You're okay. I've got you.'

Olivia nods and he can tell she is trying to bring herself back to the present. He hands her another of his shirts and a pair of sweatpants that have always been a little too small for him for her to change into and tells her that he's got breakfast and coffee waiting outside for her.

'Wait, can you stay?' Olivia asks and it is the first time he has ever heard her ask for help before.

He can't help but smile sadly as he nods, sitting down on the bed and dutifully facing the other way while she slips on his clothes. As she walks around the bed and back into his line of sight, he can't help but smile when he sees her in his clothes that are clearly far too big for her. It reminds him of when his daughters would play dress up in their mothers' clothes.

As expected, Olivia pulls a face at the stack of toast but takes an apple and bites into it, reaching for the coffee that Elliot places next to her as soon as it's made. Again, he smiles, praying that she'll be ok.

She is Olivia Benson, he reminds himself, and there is nothing she cannot do. She will be fine.

She has to be.

Right?