Two Babies and a Crew

[January 1998. Malone's house. Nighttime]

(Almost a year later one could easily tell that there were children in that house. The lower shelves of the bookcase were now filled with toys and, in the clothes Diane was folding on the kitchen table there were a considerable amount of baby clothes. When they are all properly folded, Diane places them in the laundry basket and goes to the bedroom to leave it there. Having become parents of two animals, they had also had to adapt their lives to them by making certain changes. One of these was to leave the clothes to be placed inside the closet when they did not have time to put each piece of clothing in the appropriate drawer, as Becky, especially, loved to play with them. The moment Diane turned around expecting to find both her children asleep and her husband looking at her with a smile, she found her pets sleeping by Sam's feet, her husband asleep next to her son, the book in between the two of them and her daughter looking at her with wide eyes, big eyes of a turquoise blue color, just like her mother. As they grew older, their children's features were becoming more distinct. Ernie was slightly bigger than Lizzie and his hair was dark blond, while his sister's was a whitish blond. That was a clear sign that, when they were older, she was going to have her mother's hair and he was going to have his father's hair. Although he was asleep now and one could not see them, Ernie's eyes were the same as his sister's. They both seemed to have taken their mother's nose and eyebrows as well, but while Lizzie had her mother's smile, Ernie had his father's. When they grew up they were going to steal a lot of hearts without even trying. Diane, seeing Lizzie's cute little face, could not help but laugh)

Diane: (Quietly, as she picks up the book and lies down on the bed to finish reading it to her) You definitely took after me and not your father.

Making your way in the world today

takes everything you've got.

Taking a break from all your worries

sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you wanna go

where everybody knows your name

and they're always glad you came.

You wanna be where you can see

our troubles are all the same.

You wanna be where everybody knows your name.

You wanna go where people know

people are all the same.

You wanna go where everybody knows your name.

[Cheers. Afternoon]

(After almost a year, Cheers' scenario had changed a bit. Woody was still behind the bar and was serving a mug of beer to Cliff, who had just arrived; Carla was serving the customers by the piano; Sam was making a cocktail for a young lady; Diane was making a banana, persimmon, cereal and breast milk smoothie for the babies; and the kids were on the floor crawling back and forth trying to grab Becky's tail)

Norm: (Entering) Afternoon, everybody.

Ernie and Lizzie: Nooorm!

(Happy to see him come in, the two children crawl over to him and raise their little hands to ask him to hold them. This was a habit that had only started recently, but it never failed to bring a smile to employees and customers faces alike. Norm had been the siblings' third word, and the day they first uttered it, the entire bar had gone silent and gasped at the replay of the historic moment)

All: Noooorm!

Diane: Norman.

Woody: Can I get you a beer, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: (Sitting on his stool as he puts the babies on his lap) Yes, but first give me a bottle or something to keep them entertained. As playful as they are lately, I won't risk them getting drunk.

(Hearing this, both Carla and Sam smile)

Diane: (As she pours the smoothie into the bottles with the Cheers logo) Don't worry, I'll take care of them.

(Sam, seeing that Diane has their snack ready, grabs the children and sits each in a chair. With a smile, Diane hands them their bottle and they take it and start drinking. At the sight of them, Norm and Cliff laugh)

Norm: When did they grow up so much?

Sam: Carla, Woody, would you mind doing us a favor?

Carla: What's it?

Sam: Could you watch the kids for a couple of hours? Diane and I wanted to go to the movies to see Titanic before they pull it.

Woody: No problem for me.

Cliff: Go ahead. We'll watch the kids. If we struggle to manage on our own, I can always ask Sharon to come over and give us a hand.

Sam: Thanks.

(...)

(While Sam and Diane are in the movies, Ernie is playing ball with Toby and Lizzie is looking at a picture book while petting Becky)

Carla: It's scary how much they look like Sam and Diane.

(Hearing her, Cliff and Norm laugh)

(...)

(When Sam and Diane enter the bar, Toby, Ernie and Lizzie run up to greet them)

Lizzie and Ernie: Mama! Papa!

(Happy to see their reaction, Sam and Diane take them in their arms)

Sam: How have they been?

Diane: Did they miss us much?

Carla: I wouldn't say that. You're lucky though, even taking after you two, they're really well-behaved.

(Hearing Carla, they both smile and look at their children with a smile. At that moment, the phone rings and Woody picks it up)

Woody: Cheers. (...) Yes, she's here. Wait a second. (Quietly) Diane, it's for you.

Diane: (Puzzled) For me? (Picks it up) Hello.

(Seeing that after Diane picks up the phone, her expression becomes very serious, Sam gets worried)

Diane: Yes, it's fine. Thank you...

Sam: (Worried) What happened? Your smile was wiped off your face in a second. Was that your mother?

Diane: No.

Sam: The doctor?

Diane: No. It... It was from work.

Sam: (Very surprised) You got fired?!

Diane: No. They're shooting a couple of episodes of my series in Europe and they need me as a consultant.

Sam: (Happy and surprised) That's great Diane!

Diane: It's not great, I'll be apart from Lizzie and Ernie for the first time (cries). I don't want to leave my babies alone... (Hugs Sam crying)

(Seeing why she was not happy with the news, they all exchanged silent glances. Years ago she would have jumped for joy at something like this, but now that she was a mother her priorities had definitely changed. Norm, in an attempt to cheer her up, affectionately caresses her shoulder)

Norm: Diane, I know it's hard to be apart from what you love the most.

Diane: You don't have children, you can't possibly imagine.

Norm: It's true I don't, but I broke up with Vera once, and to imagine what my life would be like without Cheers. (He makes a shivering gesture)

(Hearing Norm, Diane cries harder)

[One week later. Boston Airport. Morning]

(Diane, already by the boarding gate and with only a small carry-on suitcase, says goodbye to Sam and the babies in tears)

Sam: (In a loving tone) Hey, I know this is hard for you, but we're gonna be okay. Everyone at Cheers is gonna take care of them, and I'll videotape them daily so you don't miss our happy moments.

(Sad yet grateful, Diane smiles and nods. Then she kisses her children's heads and Sam)

Sam: Good luck in Europe. Don't break too many hearts this time.

(Diane, hearing Sam, laughs. Seeing her laugh at last, he smiles happily and gives her one last kiss before she leaves. When the children see her go, they start crying)

Lizzie and Ernie: Mama! Mama!

(Diane, hearing them, turns around and cries again)

Sam: Go. I'll take care of them. And, Diane... As soon as you get there, call.

(Diane, crying, nods and walks through the boarding gate)

Sam: (Looks at the kids, joking) Hey, Mom's just going away for a couple of weeks, last time she got on that plane she almost went away forever. (To himself) Come to think of it, I almost lost your mother on planes twice and at the bar three times... You guys don't be like us. If you know you're with the right person, scr- (when he realizes he was going to swear, he stops), put your pride aside and say what you really want. And never accept drinks from strangers.

(...)

[Cheers. Afternoon]

(That day certainly did not seem like an ordinary day at Cheers. And contrary to what one might think, the bar was quite lively. Woody is behind the bar preparing a bottle, Carla is leaving the empty tray on the bar, Cliff and Norm's seats are empty, and Sam is seating Lizzie. When Woody finishes preparing the bottle, he hands it to Carla to give it to Sam)

Carla: Hey, Sammy! (Throws the bottle to him)

(Sam catches it and snorts happily and relieved to see that he did not drop it)

Carla: You haven't lost your touch yet. (Laughs)

(Sam, sits down on a chair with one leg over the armrest and gives the bottle to his daughter, in the exact same way he did with that baby doll when Diane forced him to practice over the summer)

Carla: You're not videotaping this for Diane, right?

Sam: No. She'd kill me if she found out about the bottle (laughs).

(At that moment, Lilith enters the bar)

Carla: Well, if it isn't the Ice Queen!

Lilith: I better not say what you're the queen of.

Carla: (Smiles) Touché.

Lilith: I see you're juggling work and parenting. Where's Ernie?

(At that moment, Norm comes out of the pool room carrying the child on his shoulders along with Cliff and Paul. Ernie has a pacifier in his mouth and his hands full of darts)

Cliff: Sammy, your son just beat Paul at darts.

Sam: (Turns around, happy and enjoying the anecdote) Did you videotape it?

Lilith: Where's Diane?

Carla: Somewhere over the Atlantic, probably.

Lilith: Well, that makes sense. You didn't need 24 hours away from her to turn the kids' lives into a future Norm and Carla.

(Hearing her, Norm, Sam and Carla laugh)

Sam: We're just enjoying ourselves. We needed to cheer the kids up.

Lilith: What you should be trying to do is (with emphasis) educate the kids.

Sam: To do that you need to get them to stop crying first. And we're not doing anything wrong. I mean, sports is an important part of their learning process too.

Norm: (Sitting Ernie on his stool and pointing to him) Woods, a drink for the winner.

Woody: Coming up.

(In a Cheers mug like the beer mugs they usually use but smaller and lighter, Woody pours a foamy milkshake for Ernie. The boy, upon seeing it, picks it up to drink it, but ends up pouring it all over himself)

Sam: (Going over to where the kid is) Oh, shit.

Lilith: That's why kids need a mother.

Woody: What about gay marriages?

Lilith: They don't usually have this kind of hazardous behavior.

Sam: Woody, Carla, take care of the bar for a while. I'm gonna give Ernie a bath. I'll be right back.

Carla: Sam, it's almost 8:00 pm. After bathing and feeding them, it'll be time to put them to bed.

Sam: (Surprised) Is that late already? In that case I'd better see you tomorrow. (Loudly) Becky, Toby!

(Hearing Sam, Becky, who was sleeping on the piano, gets up and goes to him, and Toby stops looking at the customers waiting for pretzels and goes to Sam)

(...)

[Malone's house. Evening]

(As Sam enters with the children, he cannot help but notice how cold and lonely the house feels. Confused, the children start to look around and, not seeing Diane, they look at their father very sad and confused)

Ernie and Lizzie: Mama?

(Hearing them, Sam smiles sadly, although what he really wanted to do was to cry. He was missing Diane, but the children, who were still very young and did not quite understand what a trip was, were having a much harder time. At the sound of the phone, Sam's expression does a 180º turn and he runs to pick it up after leaving the kids on the sofa)

Sam: Diane?!

[On the phone] Diane: Well, who else do you think it'd be?

(Realizing she made a reference to his words the day he proposed over the phone, Sam laughs. Diane, hearing him laugh, laughs as well, and Sam, hearing her laugh, smiles with relief)

Sam: How are you feeling? Better than this morning?

[On the phone] Diane: I'm still sad, but I'm better.

(As Sam ran to the phone, the kids had gotten off the couch and crawled over to him without him noticing. Just then, Ernie pulls the phone. Sam, realizing this, laughs)

Sam: Hold on, there's someone who wants to talk to you.

Ernie: Mama.

(Diane, hearing him, bursts into tears with emotion. Lizzie, also wanting to talk to her, takes the phone from her brother)

Lizzie: Mama...

(Sam, seeing that his children are fighting over the phone, laughs and puts the speakerphone on)

[On the phone] Diane: (Moved) Did you have fun with Dad? Mommy misses you very much.

(At the sound of her voice, Toby barks and Becky meows. Hearing them, Sam and Diane laugh)

Sam: And we miss you (smiles). It must be pretty late there. Why don't you go to sleep and tomorrow, when you get back from work, tell me everything calmly? I was going to bathe them now and feed them dinner. You can relax, they're both behaving great and they're not giving me any trouble. Have a good rest. We love you.

[On the phone] Diane: (Smiles) And I love you. Good night.

Sam: (Hangs up and looks at the kids) Bath time.

(...)

(While Toby and Becky watch Elizabeth, Sam gives Ernie a bath and takes the opportunity to take a shower himself)

Sam: (Singing softly) I've got sunshine on a cloudy day / When it's cold outside / I've got the month of May / I guess you'd say / What can make me feel this way / My boy, my boy...

(...)

(When he finishes, he leaves Ernie on the couch with his pets to take care of him and takes Elizabeth to the bathtub)

Sam: (Singing softly) I've got sunshine on a cloudy day / When it's cold outside / I've got the month of May / I guess you'd say / What can make me feel this way / My girl, my girl...

(...)

(When he finishes bathing them, he sits them in their baby chairs and gives them the food Diane had left in the refrigerator. Seeing that he is alone, Sam remembers when Diane forced him to practice with her and laughs. When he finishes, he takes the children out of the chairs, puts them to bed and finds a story to read to them. All this while he sings an adaptation of Peter Cetera's song Daddy's Girl to help them relax)

Sam: (Sings softly) When the sun goes down and it's getting late / You say it's time for bed / They just take their time / Acting like they never heard a word you said / Little babies wanna hold you tight / They don't ever wanna say good night / You are loved, you know you are Mommy and Daddy's best

[Malone's house. Morning]

(Ready, Sam leaves with the kids and heads for the car while singing to keep them in a good mood)

Sam: (Sings) When the morning comes / And it's time to go start another day

(At that moment, the kinds start crying and Sam sighs somewhat frustrated as if to say "I do need Diane after all", but he keeps trying to calm them down by singing as he puts them in their baby car seats to go to Cheers)

Sam: (Sings) They won't let you leave, and they do their best / To try to make you stay / Pretty babies gonna start to cry / They don't ever wanna say good bye / You are loved, you know you are Mommy and Daddy's best

(...)

[Cheers]

(When Norm and Carla see that the babies will not stop crying, they give them back to Sam and continue the song)

Carla and Norm: They don't ever wanna be without you / Never have to worry they won't doubt you / Then they puts their head upon your shoulder / Calm them down 'cause we're getting older

[February 14. Boston Airport. Morning]

(Sam is impatiently waiting in the area where passengers arriving from a flight are exiting so he can finally hug Diane tightly. The kids are clinging to the bar impatiently because they know they are going to see their mom again. When they see Diane arrive, the faces of the three of them light up)

Ernie and Lizzie: MAMA!

(Impatient to hug her, the kids run off staggering. Seeing their kids take their first steps, their parents' eyes widen and immediately fill with tears. Emotionally, Diane drops her suitcases and rushes to hug them crying)

Diane: (Looks at Sam emotionally and crying) When did they learn?

Sam: (Perplexed and surprised) Apparently now. (Picks up their suitcases)

Diane: (Emotional and surprised) Are these their first steps? (Hugs them crying, emotional) They're so big!

Lizzie and Ernie: (Happy) Mama...

Diane: (Emotional, wipes her tears) I've missed you so much...

Sam: (Smiles) And we missed you.

(Happy and emotional, Diane stands up with the children in her arms and Sam finally kisses her)

(...)

[Malone's house]

(Upon entering, Toby gets crazy at the sight of Diane and Becky starts meowing, runs to her and rubs against her legs in an affectionate way. Seeing that there is a bouquet of roses on the table and that Sam has left breakfast ready for them, Diane smiles moved and kisses him. Then she reaches into her purse and gives him a box of Ferrero's)

(...)

(At noon and after having left the children with their grandmother, Sam and Diane go to have lunch at a restaurant where, as if by fate, they coincide with Norm and Carla, although neither of them notices because they are too focused on their partner. When Vera goes to the toilet, Norm asks the waiter to come over with a sign)

Norm: Can I have the leftovers to go?

Waiter: (Confused) Sir, there are no leftovers.

Norm: (Pointing to the next table where Hank and Carla are eating) What about that steak?

Waiter: (Confused) The one from the lady at the other table?

Norm: Look at it, it's heavier than she is. I'm sure she'll have some left over.

Waiter: I'm sorry, but the leftovers have to be yours. That's the rule.

Norm: That's a stupid rule. (On his way out) What about this lady's lobster?

Diane: (Confused) Norman?

Norm: (Surprised) Diane?!

Waiter: Get out of here.

Norm: Sammy, if she doesn't finish it, save me the leftovers!

(Sam laughs at this and Diane stares at him, still shocked by what just happened)

(...)

[Cheers]

Norm: Evening, everybody.

All: Noooorm!

Cliffie: (Surprised) Hey, Normie, what are you doing here so early? (With a sly grin) Didn't you have a... special date with Vera?

Norm: We're done. This time the first round was enough for her.

Cliff: (Proudly) Hey, hey, hey. Who would have thought? Our Normie has become an expert in subjects that used to be mastered exclusively by Sammy. Tell us, what's your secret?

Norm: Well, according to Vera, that I'm on a diet. She says I kiss with more passion now.

Woody: Beth used to say the same thing about me.

Norm: You kissed like that because you were looking for leftovers too?

(Hearing this, Carla makes a grossed-out face and Cliff frowns with mixed feelings)

(...)

(At dusk, Sam gets on the boat where, years ago, he asked Diane to marry him for the first time, or the second time if we count the inconclusive proposal he made on the phone, and holds out his hand to help her get on board. Diane, happy, smiles)

Diane: This is wonderful, Sam. You've really done a great job with everything today: the flowers, the breakfast, the lunch...

Sam: And I saved the best for tonight (laughs).

(Diane, hearing this, laughs)

Sam: Wait, I have another surprise for you. (Places the needle on the record player)

Diane: (Surprised) Sam! This is the song from Titanic! (She looks at him excitedly as she smiles) It's so romantic. (She kisses him and startles at a thought, a little scared) Wait, you're not thinking of sinking the boat?

Sam: (Laughs) No. I played it because I would love to hear you sing this song for me.

(Diane looks at him very surprised)

Diane: No, I couldn't possibly. I'm not-

Sam: Don't be silly! You have a beautiful voice. (Smiles as he waves his hand at her) Come on, sing!

Diane: Ok. (She takes a deep breath, looks at him with a smile and, remembering the feeling of loneliness that has haunted her the last few weeks, puts a hand on his cheek as she looks into his eyes with a smile) Every night in my dreams / I see you, I feel you. / That is how I know you go on. (To make the moment more intimate, Diane places her hands on his back and they come close together until their chests touch. Within seconds, the music from Titanic becomes the soundtrack as they slow dance across the deck, leaning against each other) Far across the distance / and spaces between us / you have come to show you go on. / Near, far, wherever you are / I believe that the heart does go on. / Once more, you open the door / and you're here in my heart / and my heart will go on and on. (Looks Sam in the eyes, kisses him and smiles) Love can touch us one time / and last for a lifetime, / and never let go 'til we're gone.

(When she notices a sudden change in the music when the song was supposed to go on, she frowns)

Diane: Is the song incomplete?

Sam: No (laughs). I asked them to cut that part so it doesn't sound like we're not together anymore.

(Diane, hearing his idea, laughs, looks him in the eyes hopelessly in love and keeps on singing, now with much more passion)

Diane: You're here, there's nothing I fear / and I know that my heart will go on. (She turns around on deck and Sam hugs her from behind as she stretches her arms out to the sides) We'll stay forever this way. / You are safe in my heart / and my heart will go on and on...

(She turns again to Sam, kisses him and smiles)

Diane: This is the best date I've ever had. And I'm not talking just about the boat, but about the whole day. Thank you for everything. (She kisses him again)

Sam: (Smiles) I'm glad we gave it another shot and make it work this time. To this day, and especially after the last few weeks, I can say that I cannot imagine my life without you.

Diane: (Trying to hide a smile starting to form on her lips) Creativity was never your greatest skill.

(Hearing her teasing him even in such a romantic moment as that, Sam smiles resignedly as he thinks that, at least this time, Diane is reciprocating his feelings and she is not going to end up in the water again)