Haiiiii ! ! Omg , thank you so much for coming back to read chapter three ! ! I appreciate it so much . In this chapter , it starts off with a little of Zim's perspective and then the rest is from Dib's perspective . There's a little breakfast and Dib also attempts to teach Zim how to drive a lowly earth vehicle . Also ! ! Most of my chapter titles are based on songs . Chapter one is based on the song " Start " by Rachel Faith . This chapter is named after " I'm in Love With a Monster " by Fifth Harmony . Most of the time , the song the chapter is named after is what I had playing on repeat whilst writing said chapter lol . That being said ! Let's jump right into it ! ! I hope you enjoy this chapter and reviews are highly appreciated ! !
He'll Buy Me A Thorn
ZIM'S POV
The base is filled with the sickening smell of waffles as I watch GIR preparing them. I'm irritated by the way my stomach is turning at the sight of them as I recall eating a hundred of them once in an attempt to gain a resistance to earth slop.
"Ugh, hurry up and eat your fifth so we can get going!" I say impatiently.
"Aw, you're excited" The Dib-Human says and the teasing tone in his voice gets on my nerves even more. He attempts to poke me in the side and I quickly smack his hand away. GIR crosses the kitchen and sets a stack of waffles in front of Dib.
"Don't be sad, Master! I made your food too!" He says, setting a plate down in front of me too.
"Zim, your food tastes exactly like ours." Dib says around a bite of his own breakfast. He's correct. It pretty much tastes the same. Even he can safely eat Irken food, he's tried mine plenty of times. He just doesn't like Irken snacks because he is inferior.
"Exactly, so all the poison in earth junk is completely unnecessary." I reply, picking up my breakfast sandwich and inspecting it for any surprises because with GIR, you just never know. I give it a nod of approval as it looks totally normal along with the Irken symbol on top and start eating. A few moments later, GIR comes to sit at the table and proceeds to obliterate his own waffles, without using any eating utensils, only stopping once to drain a full bottle of chocolate sauce. I'm staring in disgust and my stomach starts turning again. Even Dib is watching him in awe or amusement. "I've had enough of this breakfast. I can't keep it down with all these toxic fumes poisoning my oxygen supply. GIR, clean up! Dib, let's go!" I demand.
DIB'S POV
Zim stands and marches out of the kitchen and I have to try not to laugh at the way he never bothers to conceal his irritation in the slightest. "Thanks for the waffles, GIR. Maybe you should clean up so his head doesn't explode when we get back" I say, offering up my fist which he excitedly meets with his own before a squeaky moose pops out of his head and into his hand. He's obsessively squeezing it and giggling uncontrollably, so I follow after Zim. He's already standing near the door in his disguise, staring out the window. The new disguise he started wearing in high school includes a difference in his pigment by his PAK so when he activates it, his skin transitions from viridian to a normal tan complexion. He actually did grow a lot more in the years he's lived on earth. No longer a mere three feet and some inches tall, he's still considerably short, standing at four feet, six inches. Not that I can judge, my dad's genes must have skipped by me because I'm five feet four inches myself. The way Zim explains it, the gravity on Irk is much heavier and by him being on earth for so long, he stretched out more.
"I'm having second thoughts." I say and I'm really only half-joking.
"Oh please, I'm too amazing not to get this right." Zim replies, pulling the door open. As we walk towards the fence door, I pull out the keys to my black Jeep renegade parked on the street. "So, here's what's going to happen. I'm driving us to the abandoned movie theater on Milford Street and you'll practice there. That way you can't hit anyone." I say, climbing into the driver's seat.
"God, just take all the fun out of this, huh?" Zim asks, rolling his eyes and shutting his door. We both click our seatbelts in place and I adjust the rearview mirror.
"Okay. So the first thing you want to do when you get in the car is adjust your mirrors. Well, after the seatbelt of course" I start, continuing even though he huffs out a breath and shakes his head. "The side mirror should just show you a little of your car - enough to see both front and back door handles - and you should see the horizon. Like if there's a car behind you yet coming up on your side. And of course the rearview is to see directly behind you."
Zim is just staring at me blankly with half lidded eyes as I turn my key and start the car.
"Now, to pull away from the curb, the first thing I do is?" I ask. Zim glares at me then brings a hand to his forehead.
"Signal, Dib, signal" he says.
"Exactly! Which is where?" I ask. He rolls his eyes and reaches over, flicking the turn symbol upwards. "Awesome. So I'm turning my wheel twice, checking my mirrors, and now I'm on the gas. Remember, the gas pedal is-"
"The left pedal. The brakes are on the right. Here is the gas indicator, blah blah blah. I know exactly how much knowledge is stored in that huge head you lug around! Please take us somewhere so Zim - I mean - I can drive!" He says, huffing impatiently. I snort but give him an innocent smile when he glares my way and then I'm back focused on the road. On the side of my eyes I can see him picking at the hem of his shirt while he stares out the passenger side window. I pull up to a red light after several minutes.
"Are you okay?" I ask, slowing the car to a stop and turning to him. He looks like I startled him out of his thoughts and he had genuinely forgotten I was even here but then quickly covers it up with a confused expression.
"Why are you asking me that?" He asks.
"You're just quieter than usual." I shrug and the light turns green. I make a turn onto the highway and then continue, "If it's about the Tallests-"
"I don't want to talk about this." Zim groans, aggressively turning back to look out the window. And of course I should expect this, he always does this. He just shuts people out and I get it. More than I wish I did.
"Okay but I do, and if you-"
"And I just said I don't, so now what?" He asks, snapping his gaze back to me. Let's be honest, it's been almost a decade. I know he's snappy, literally all the time and I'm pretty used to his short fuse and bad temper. I'm not surprised that he's getting irritated but I still don't like making him upset. Even if it seems like he always is, no matter what.
"Look Zim" I sigh, still watching the road. "I don't want to argue with you."
"Yes. You do. Because you're trying to force me to talk about this!" He snaps.
"I'm not! I just… I can tell you're thinking about it a lot and that's one of the things I'm here for!" I say, running a hand through my hair and huffing out a frustrated breath. I glance at him briefly and he's got an amused sort of smug look on his face. I choose to ignore it and press on. "I'm… Just… We're - if we're supposed to be trying to do… this, whatever this is" I continue, gesturing I'm the air between us. "I'm just saying I'm here for you. You can trust me or… whatever."
Zim rolls his eyes. "Jeez, how do humans even know who to trust? I'm supposed to just trust you? All the time?"
"We just have a feeling. It's like an intuition, I guess. And it's not always right but we get to decide who we trust. And I finally trust you, so why can't you trust me?" I ask.
He scoffs, "What makes you think you can trust me?"
"Because it's my decision to make! Not yours!" I exclaim, finally turning into the large parking lot of the old theater. Zim is quietly watching as I drive slowly, putting the car in park just past the entrance but not meeting his gaze. I'm just staring out the window I'm front of me, focusing on my breathing and we sit in the car in the thick awkward silence that descended upon us right after I spoke until he finally cuts through it.
"I know I can trust you." He says. I look at him with my brows furrowed. "Honestly I don't even know why I said that I can't. But I also don't understand why I do trust you." He says, looking down at his gloved hands. "It's one of the first things we're taught. We should only trust the Tallests. But I trust you. I just don't know why…"
"Because. Some things, you just can't push down forever, Zim." I say, sighing. He doesn't have time to respond beyond looking at me, one side of his mouth twitching upwards, because even if he was even going to, I've already undone my seatbelt and popped my door open. A second later he does the same and I've already walked around to the passenger side door as he gets out. This parking lot is huge and it was the first place that came to mind when we talked about this. I know pretty much every abandoned place within 50 miles of my house. I frequent them all, really. This is the same parking lot I sat in for 16 hours because of one news report of a Bigfoot sighting. It was 30 degrees that day and I never saw a thing. The only thing I got out of it was a horrible cold.
It's a really cloudy day along with a slight crisp in the air since October starts in a couple of days. Zim crosses behind the car and gets into the driver's side seat while I'm getting settled in the passenger seat. I'm watching critically, making sure he does everything I said, which of course he does but when he reaches over to start the car I stop him.
"Wait…" I say abruptly. He lets go of the key, turning his palm up in question.
"What?" He asks.
"You should probably adjust the seat." I reply.
"Huh?" He asks.
"For your height." I say and he narrows his eyes at me.
"I will drive us both into a brick wall, right now." He threatens through clenched teeth.
"I'm not saying you're - uh. I just think you'll be able to see better."
"Fine."
"There's a latch on the left, you can slide the seat forward so you can reach the pedals easier." I explain. He starts feeling around the side of the seat.
"I don't feel anything over here." He says impatiently, running a hand along the side of the seat again.
"It's further down." I say, not even bothering to cover up my laugh this time and he ignores it.
"What, like on the floor?" He asks. I unclick my seatbelt and lean over, easily locating the lever and easing the seat forward slightly.
"It's right here." I say, taking his left hand and placing it on the adjustment lever.
"Oh okay. Is it the button on top?" He asks, pushing it before I get to respond. The back of his seat jumps forward roughly, almost slamming his head right into my own. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to brace myself for impact but we're both still and I see the seat stopped just far enough that neither of us is concussed. "Oh…" He says.
"Hah… That's what that does…" I manage. The space is tight and hella uncomfortable but I don't move. I'm too caught up in the fact that I'm actually looking right into his eyes and for once, he doesn't immediately look away. I don't know how it took me so long to realize that he has got to have the absolute most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Even with the contacts in, just the glimpse of the ruby color with different shades of pink peeking through is enough to catch my breath in my throat. How could I not have noticed that before I was 16? It doesn't feel like I'm breathing and it's as if I can feel my heartbeat in my eardrums. Even two years later, they're so captivating. And all at once, it's over. Zim snaps the seat back and I'm finally coming back to the moment.
"Okay! Get off me, go back to your seat and prepare to be amazed!" He shoos. I can't help but chuckle at his extreme excitement about such a simple task.
I buckle my seatbelt again and start talking, "So now you can-" but before I can even finish the one sentence, Zim both starts the car and puts it in drive in one Swift motion. He looks over at me with that same pointy tooth smile that used to scare me. I feel my face drain of color and I still don't get a chance to say anything because my head is immediately pressed to the back of my seat as Zim completely floors the gas. The windows are rolled down and the sound of the wind whipping through the car tangles with Zims laughter. I didn't even realize my eyes were closed until I'm peeling them open in time to see that we're hurtling directly for a brick wall and a quick glimpse at Zim shows he's still wearing an overzealous smile as he yanks the wheel violently to the left into a harsh turn. I swear I would be flying across the parking lot, right out of the window if it weren't for my seatbelt.
"Can we talk about the speed limit?" I shout, my knuckles are numb from the death grip I have on my seatbelt. Now we're speeding towards several old and clearly forgotten trash cans! "Zim! Stop!" I shout again, closing my eyes because I know he definitely isn't going to. He laughs louder as we plow right through the set of trash cans and then he breaks into another sharp left turn.
"GIR would love this!" He says, the tires screeching as he turns full circle, clearly aiming to hit the already bulldozed garbage cans.
"I'm going to be sick!" I scream. He doesn't even glance my way as he blows through them again and proceeds towards the center of the parking lot with another loud screech from my poor tires. I peel the fingers of my right hand away from the seatbelt and reach over, popping the lock on my door. "Okay, Zim! I'm jumping out!" I shout, pulling the handle and letting my door fall open.
"Make sure you tuck and roll! I like moving targets!" He yells back. I reach over and put my hand on the eject button of my seatbelt. "Oh cease your theatrics, Dib-Human!" He says finally and then super slams the brake. We're both violently thrust forward and I think I mumble something about whiplash but my mind is too scrambled. The screeching finally stops and we're still. Well, except for my heart.
"Jesus, Zim! Are you crazy!?" I manage to ask while trying to catch my breath.
"Yes! Literally, Dib, yeah." He replies like it was a stupid question to ask.
"No way, you cannot get your license driving like that. Put the car in park. You have to follow the rules of the road!" I exclaim.
"Rules?" He scoffs. "I don't need your rules, they're beneath me." He tries to wave me off but I'm glaring at him and he finally puts the car in park. Not without rolling his eyes at me of course.
"They're not my rules. Anyone has to follow them - even me!" I say in exasperation.
"Yes yes, okay. Don't get all 'Dib-Ranting' on me. Tell me the rules, make it quick." He says disinterestedly, retrieving his travel sized home security system device from his pocket before nodding and putting it back.
"Okay well… Here, look" I reply, pointing out the window. "There are four corners of the lot so drive around the perimeter and um… Let's say the first one's a stop sign, the second ones a stop light, and the last two are stop-all-way signs."
"Fine, fine." He replies, starting the car again.
"Zim, the speed limit is 25mph, got it?" I say sternly.
"Okay, you can stop talking now." He says. He still takes off quickly but not at the crazy speed he was going before.
"Adjust your speed! You're still way over the limit!" I say, pointing to the meter.
"I can't, your steering wheel is stuck!" He bites back.
"That's only for direction. The pressure you put on the gas pedal adjusts the speed." I explain and soon we're slowing down to a more reasonable speed. Of course he can never follow any directions but his own so I know we're going around 30mph but whatever.
"The amount of outdated technology on this planet disgusts me." He says.
"Focus up. The stop light corner is coming up and it's red." I reply, finally feeling more at ease. We coast along like that for about half an hour but Zim catches on pretty quickly. So after that, we practice pulling into parking spaces, such as the faded ones in the lot. We even take some time for him to learn how to parallel park. Zim parallel parks the car for the fifth time in a row and turns to me.
"So, is that all? I can get my license now?" He asks.
"Well, sure, probably. I mean there's still the U-turn to practice but we can work on it another day" I shrug.
"I turn?" He asks.
"No, it's a three point turn. A K-turn."
"Is it a letter or a number?!" He scoffs.
"Don't worry about it. Honestly, I'm impressed. It took me three months to learn how to drive and most people need longer than that. You basically did it in a day." I say.
"My superiority shouldn't still be that surprising to you." Zim replies.
"Ugh. Anyway, we should probably get going. I'll drive us back." I say, unclicking my seatbelt and placing my hand on the door latch.
"Wait! Um…" Zim says and even he looks startled by his own outburst. I raise an eyebrow expectantly but he doesn't say anything else. The realization dawns on me anyway.
"Ooooooh. I see." I say, smiling as I click my seatbelt back in place. "Alright, speedy Gonzalez. Go ahead."
He does not hesitate at all to start the car up again and resume destructively zipping around the empty lot, and even though I'm still nervous, I'm more focused on watching him. I can't help but smile at the overly eccentric Irken.
"25 miles per hour?! No wonder humans never get anything done!" He shouts, keeping his eyes ahead of him. A quick glance at the meter shows me that he's really driving my car just under 90mph right now with no license.
"Yes well, silly us for prioritizing not hitting anyone!" I respond sarcastically.
"Boooooooring!" He exclaims but his usual irritated tone is coated in the smile he's wearing. I still get lost in watching him have actual fun, after all these years. It's just a side of him that I never considered. Maybe I never thought it existed. Back when everything was so one dimensional and all I could do was hate him. You just kind of dehumanize people you don't like… I guess even if they're not exactly human? I didn't think he ever did anything for fun. In fact, I remember thinking it just wasn't possible for him to experience joy at all.
"You're insane!" I declare, my face flushing slightly when he catches me grinning at him. He narrows his eyes but smiles back at me before turning back to the window.
Once Zim has had his fill of chaotic speed racing, he expertly backs the car into a parking space near the rear of the lot. It's somewhat dark since the thick clouds have never let up. I get out of the car and Zim follows suit, walking around the back, towards the passenger seat. "Wait, sit with me." I instruct, then climbing onto the hood of the car myself, leaning against the windshield. Zim briefly scans the lot before using his PAK legs to place himself against the windshield as well. "You really love destruction, huh?" I ask, watching the clouds over us. He just laughs for a few seconds before looking at me.
"No Dib, I am destruction." He replies, gaze drifting back up to the clouds. I look over and watch as he slips from chaotic joy to deep pensive thoughts, but I return my gaze upwards.
"You know being an Invader is in my blood. I still think about it." He says.
"I'm sure you do." I say back and he sighs.
"But if I'm not doing it for the Armada, then who would I be doing it for?" He asks. "From the second we're created, we're trained to be soldiers. All we learn in the academy is how to be loyal and properly serve our people. Why it's best for everyone that Irk succeeds with OID. The reason we live is to play our role. If the Tallests won't let me help, who would I be doing it for?"
"Yourself." I say, matter of factly. He looks at me then and I shrug. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the idea of being trained from the second you're born - or created - to completely, without question, devote your life to your leaders.
"You say that as if you'd be okay with it." He scoffs.
"I absolutely would not." I say flatly, keeping my gaze on the sky.
"So let's say I decide to conquer this ball of waste and enslave everyone here. I mean we both know I can…" Zim states.
"First off. There was no question in that sentence-"
"It was implied."
"And second of all," I continue, ignoring him. "I would never let you do that." I finish, shaking my head.
"If I really wanted to, your feeble attempts wouldn't matter." He shrugs.
"Well, history would beg to differ but your selective memory aside, why are you bringing this up?" I inquire, turning my head to look at him.
"I'm just thinking. Where would that leave this new… development here?" He asks. Jeez. He can be so blunt when he feels like it.
"Uh…" I say, feeling my face heat up and adjusting my glasses. I really don't know what to say at this point. Obviously we wouldn't be the same confused, chaotic mess anymore. Scratch that. We would be a new kind of confused chaotic mess. We'd have to walk away from each other if he's on a mission to destroy the planet and I'm on one to save it. "It wouldn't leave it anywhere. It would stop it. In its tracks." I finally say. But just the thought tightens around my throat, silently threatening me. Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly since this is Zim I'm dealing with, he actually smiles at me.
"That's why you're my favorite human." He replies, turning back to the sky, quiet for a few seconds. "With the way humans form all these gross attachments, I'd assume you'd do anything for me, by now. Maybe not yet. Or maybe that's not you."
Okay. This conversation is going to shrink me. I feel like I'm retreating into myself, the same feeling I'm always fighting against because I know I'm never heard but I can't be heard if I'm always silent. "Anything for you? Anything like what?" I inquire.
He sits up straight and turns to me. "I don't know yet. But the way you still remain focused on your mission is more formidable than I'd expect."
"I don't actually have a mission. I'm just against yours."
"I don't actually have a mission anymore either. I miss putting it all together, having something to pour myself into. I'm made to be passionate about seeing my missions through. Even if it wasn't exactly the most important mission the Tallests have ever assigned, it was mine. And now I don't have it. There really isn't a point in still mulling over making this planet my own. The Armada doesn't need it. I don't need it. I don't even know what I would do if I succeeded. But I still need to do it. I just need to do something. Most Irkens who are banished, they just deal with it. If their PAK is re-encoded they just go about their business, without really having any feelings about it but… that's just not me. I actually want things, I personally need redemption. It would make me happy to succeed and make my Tallests proud of me. And I don't need your assistance but… I like doing things with you… I mean obviously." He shrugs. I need to choose my words carefully because I can tell right now, I'm talking to two of him. He's so calm while he's talking but it's a shoddy mask over his dangerous relentless instability. But at the same time, I see my favorite. My vulnerable Zim.
"You want me to help you?" I ask softly.
"Yes." He replies.
"Help you take over my planet." I state.
"Yeah." He says.
"Zim, I want you to be happy but that… That's…" I start but I don't know what to say. We have conversations like this every so often but I can usually convince him that he doesn't need to do that before the conversation gets too serious. As much as he brings it up in a joking manner, I always kind of knew a small part of him wasn't kidding. It was still something he thought about doing. I'm trying to figure out how to redirect this conversation and he's watching me carefully. "Do you think you're passionate about your mission because you're programmed that way or because… it gives you something else?" I ask.
"Something else?" He asks.
"If you had conquered the earth. Would you be happier with hand delivering it to your leaders or would you be happier just knowing you did it because they didn't think you could? Would it be about loyalty or would it be about fulfillment?" I ask. He turns his head away from me and keeps silent.
"No one can tell you as well as I can how easy it is to completely lose yourself trying to earn respect and appreciation. To stop having everyone overlook you, to stop feeling discarded-"
"Stop." He says, covering my mouth with the back of his hand without even looking at me. I push it down and continue anyway.
"If you did it, you'd get all the respect and acceptance you deserve. From this planet and yours. I get it." I say. "But I could never just sit back and let you." I say quietly.
"For someone with such a huge head, you are SO small minded!" He snaps at me. "You are still protecting a planet that doesn't care about you at all. Tons of times, I could have eliminated you and no one would have cared. They wouldn't have even noticed!" And it's like he's spitting poison at me. He's so painfully right.
"And the only way you know that is because it's the same for you." I say simply. He turns to me with wide eyes and then his expression turns dark but I don't look away and I don't back down. He sighs, shaking his head and then gazing out into the parking lot. I finally sit up like he is and hesitantly cover the hand he's resting on the car hood. He doesn't look at me but let's me hold onto it.
"You're so infuriating." He says and his mood has already shifted back to a deadly calm, still staring forward.
"You're mad at me because I understand you." I say, lacing our fingers. We sit in silence for a long time. The sun is probably starting to set, not that it ever shined at all today, but it turns the clouds a variety of colors.
"I'm trying to make this something we could do together and you won't even think about it." He complains.
"Taking over the world isn't really my style." I say back. "Nor does it make for much of a date…" I mumble and he sighs.
"You wouldn't be taking it over. You'd be helping me." He corrects and I just shake my head. "If you're worried about something happening to you, don't be. I wouldn't let anything bad befall you. Especially if you're on the right side." And I try my best to completely ignore the insane butterflies I get from basically hearing him tell me he'll protect me. We fall back into silence but I let my thumb drift over the back of his hand gently.
"I have no purpose…" he whispers. "Irkens are made to be soldiers. Invaders. We're all made to serve the Tallests. I'm not any of those things, so what am I and why am I here?" Zim says.
"You do have a purpose. Maybe it's just bigger than all of those things." I reply.
"Seriously? You're joking." He says irritatedly. "I don't fit in with my own people yet I've been sitting on this garbage planet forever, fitting in with disgusting humans, what does that make me? The only reason my people finally called me was to find a way to make sure nothing like me ever exists again."
"Fitting in?" I laugh but it's hollow. "Zim, look around you. You don't fit in at all. You act like you were voted most popular when we graduated. You don't fit in here at all because people just don't understand you. And okay, so maybe you don't fit in on your planet either but if everyone is exactly the same on Irk, that sounds miserable. You're different than they are and they think that makes you weak but it doesn't. What's weak is them casting you aside when you could be their secret weapon. You are cutthroat, ruthless, and self reliant and determined and… if they can't see that, if they can't see why your loyalty would be their greatest asset, then they don't deserve it. They deserve to serve you." I say and I'm actually really surprised at myself. Clearly not as surprised as he is because he takes his hand away abruptly, staring at me or rather, boring holes through me with the absolute rage in his eyes.
"You think I'm better than the Tallests?! The leaders of OID2, and your future overlords?" He asks. His gaze flits around the parking lot before he jumps off the car hood and walks to stand directly in front of me, narrowing his eyes while staring into my own. He deactivates his disguise and drags me closer to him by the collar of my shirt and I move to adjust my glasses but his other hand puts my hand back down, without him breaking eye contact. My racing mind is now drawing a complete blank and I let out a soft breath. He's searching my eyes for something, I don't know what it is and I don't know if I want him to find it or not. He finally releases the collar of my shirt, pressing a finger into my chest, pushing me backwards, reactivating his disguise and proceeding to get back into the car. I'm starting to get used to being confused. I feel like I know him so well but then, at the same time, it's like I don't know him enough. And I want to understand. This doesn't even have anything to do with science, I want to understand. But how would I even begin to comprehend this new part of him if even he doesn't know anything about it? And… it might be possible that I kind of like being confused right now.
I stand up and for a second I consider picking up all the trash cans but I figure I'll just do it next time I come here. The temperature is definitely starting to dip as the day wears on so when I get into the car, I roll up all the windows. I'm adjusting the seat then the mirrors while Zim is staring straight ahead in the passenger seat.
"Put your seatbelt on." I say, reaching up to grab my own. There's only a split second between when he turns to look at me and when I'm completely taken off guard by him suddenly leaning across the car, slender fingers grabbing hold of my face and pressing his lips to mine. The momentary shock wears off but it's not soon enough because he's already back in his seat, clicking his seatbelt in place. My mouth is still slightly open as I step outside of myself to pull my seatbelt into place. My mind is fuzzy so my movements are somewhat slow. I didn't even realize that I've been staring at him until he looks my way again, expectantly, and gestures towards the keys dangling in the ignition. I shake my head and adjust my glasses, finally twisting the key and shifting gears.