Haiiii again ! ! The weeks are going by so quickly haha ^_^ I really hope you're enjoying reading my story . I love these characters so deeply so I really appreciate you for coming back to read another update . Please consider leaving me a review ^_^ I would be super thankful ! ! Hmmm let's see , I would say there is a trigger warning for mentions of vomit in this update . You can expect to see Dib having a bit of some internal panic . There is also a small game of hide and seek ! ! Also , Zim trying his best to flirt a little haha ^_^ Oh ! ! And this chapter is named after " Bad Romance " by Lady GaGa ! ! All the chapter titles are just so Zim and Dib in this story and/or their relationship the way I'm depicting it ! ! Okieeeee ! ! Without further ado , please enjoy ! !
Your Bad Romance
"Hi!" GIR calls from the couch, cheerily. I'm trying to catch my breath and I don't look up at him at first. What was that about? And seriously, is there anyone on this planet (or any planet really) who wouldn't be kind of offended if their almost-boyfriend literally vomited just from hugging? I mean sure, he could be sick, but Irkens don't get sick. Unless this has to do with being a defect. Do defective Irkens get sick? Probably not. Or maybe they can?
I go to run a hand through my hair and am startled when I remember I have antennas instead.
"Wanna watch tv?" GIR asks happily. I finally look at him and he's sitting on one end of the couch, drinking from a huge yellow fast food cup with a bendy straw, brown liquid dripping down the sides of his mouth.
"Uh. Yeah, sure. What're we watching?" I sigh, walking over and sitting down next to him. He shoves his drink in my face and I tuck my lips away, shaking my head. "Oh no, I'm okay. Thanks." He just shrugs and goes back to slurping. It looks like he's watching some kind of children's show about aquatic life. He's really into it which I'm thankful for because he isn't talking my ear off and I have a moment to try and gather my thoughts.
I mean. Come on. Zim actually threw up while hugging me. I could maybe try to convince myself that it's because he's nervous about the transmission but why would he be? He was perfectly fine during the call with the Tallests two days ago. And the only other time I've seen him vomit was from eating earth food that GIR made him. As far as I saw, he hasn't eaten anything all day which isn't uncommon for him. Irkens are experts at storing nutrients and can go pretty long periods of time without eating.
I'm getting a heavy feeling in my chest because maybe my intuition knows something I don't. And of course a voice in my head is telling me it's because he just isn't interested in the sort of relationship we're trying to establish. But if that were the case, why would he have been the one to suggest it to begin with? I was ready to suffer in silence and leave him be but trying to figure this out was his idea and I try not to push him. He told me that kissing is confusing. But he's also usually the one to kiss me. I really try not to initiate anything, I try to leave it up to him because I know he has to sort through it all first. It's confusing for him, he told me that much, but does it actually make him feel physically ill?
I'm somewhat startled from my thoughts when the front door opens and I whip my head around. GIR follows suit, stomach, shoulders, eyes and the top of his head all turning deep red, ready possibly for a fight. Minimoose floats into the living room, the door somehow slamming shut behind him, and GIR goes back to his usual bright teal colors, turning back towards his show. I'm not as quick to calm down as… I'll admit, after all these years, Minimoose still gives me the creeps. He floats right past GIR and stops directly in front of my face.
"Um… Hi…" I say, feeling somewhat silly. He squeaks at me and I just glance around the room unsure of what to say next but GIR jumps in.
"That's Dib! Now shhhhhh!" He insists, showering both myself and Minimoose in his syrupy drink. Minimoose seems pretty satisfied at the confirmation of my identity and proceeds to disappear into the kitchen as I wipe my face with the bottom of my shirt.
Well, now that my shirt is sufficiently stained, I suppose I can go back to my inner turmoil.
Maybe I am just way way out of my league here. Maybe I'm crazy for thinking this can work. Well, not maybe. I don't know anyone else trying to date an alien. But I need to try because, for most of my life, I was convinced that maybe I was asexual. I never had these feelings before I started having them for Zim. I guess, in a way, this is new for both of us. But at least it's still more normal for me. I can't even imagine what goes through his head. I mean seriously, if I grew up with people shaming and discouraging any kind of intimate relationship, I'd probably steer way clear just like he tried to. The guy is what, like 220 years old? Earth years anyway. And he's spent the better part of them completely avoiding even the slightest idea of affection.
Part of me can't fathom the idea that he's actually trying to work through this with me because he actually wants to. Why would anyone ever make such a drastic change for someone like me? Untamed, jet-black hair. Huge glasses over my dull brown eyes. I'm not tall, I'm not muscular in the least. I'm not into the same things average people my age are. No partying, no drinking, no group of friends I meet up with on the weekends to do - well who knows? I have no idea since I've never been a part of anything like that. I've just always been alone and I've always been okay with that. Since childhood, I didn't have anything else to keep me company but my paranormal studies and it was all I ever needed. Overhearing space transmissions from my roof, scuba diving and searching for proof of the lake monster, sitting high up in trees, deep in the forest, for hours unend, watching for any signs of Bigfoot. Obviously these aren't favorite pastimes of many people and I know people think I'm crazy but it's what I've always loved doing and the one thing I've always known is that I'll never change that. I hold all of these experiences close to my heart and if people don't understand that, I don't need them around.
But what could possibly be so special about me that Zim would go against his life's training for? I'm pretty sure he spent over 150 of those years in what he describes as the absolute most intense academy I've ever heard of. It's where he learned how to go without food. It's where he was given a self destruction setting because if an Irken were ever to fail a mission, that would be the honorable thing to do. It's where he was taught to put the wants and needs of the Tallests before anyone's, including his own. Where he was taught that his life had absolutely no value whatsoever except to be useful to the Tallests and that's it. He was made to be a soldier. An invader. And nothing else. How could someone, with all of these heinous lessons etched into his soul (do Irkens have souls?), still at the end of the day, decide to try and find a way to be with me? He tells me constantly that I'm not special. But he's always showing me that I am. He makes me feel like I am.
"Let's go to the Waffle House!" GIR yells abruptly.
"Right now? But Zim is busy."
"He NEVER wants to go, come on pleeeease!?" He whines, clearly ready to start the waterworks with the puppy dog eyes he's shining on me. I don't actually have a plan for keeping him from going outside, maybe I should have thought of one while he was watching tv but I need to think of something on the spot.
"Actually GIR, I have an even better idea." I smile mischievously. "What if we play a game?"
His bright teal eyes light up and he hops up so he's standing on the couch, bouncing from one foot to the other. "What game?"
"How about-"
"What game?!"
"It's-"
"WHAT GAME?! WHAT GAAAAAME!? WHAAAAT GAME?! WHAT GAME?!"
"Hi-"
"WHAT GAME ARE WE PLAYING?!" He shouts again, grabbing both sides of my face and I put a hand over his sticky mouth.
"HIDE AND SEEK, GIR." I reply, then stop and take a breath. "It's hide and seek. Now remember, you have to be really quiet in this game. The only rule is you CANNOT hide in the lab. Anywhere else is fine." He nods excitedly and I take my hand away.
"You playing, Minimoose?" GIR asks behind me and I turn around, startled to find Minimoose floating beside me. He squeaks and GIR hops off the couch, clanking onto the floor.
"You're it, Dib!" GIR squeals.
"Wait, why am I it?" I ask.
"Duh, it was your idea!" He replies.
"Fair point. Okay I'll count to ten and you have to be hiding. And remember, no hiding in the lab." I repeat and he nods. "And Minimoose, no cheating!" I say before standing up and walking up to the door of the house and closing my eyes. While I'm counting I hear GIR clanking away somewhere in the house, and by the time I get to eight, it's totally silent in the living room. But when I get to ten, just as I open my eyes, the base goes completely dark. "Hey! Minimoose, that's cheating!" I complain but of course neither of them responds. I shrug since my new contacts kick in and I can see pretty well in the dark. It's kind of weird because I can tell it's dark but everything looks like there's a blue light shining on it through these contacts.
Then my stomach flips. Did he cut the power in the entire house? Is Zim still on the call? He will literally strangle me if his phone call is cut out because of this. "Computer" I whisper. "Is the transmission with the Tallests still connected?"
"Uhhhhh. Ahem." He starts to respond. "Confirming an existing open transmission with the Tallests in the lab."
I sigh in relief. At least they listen sometimes. I start searching around the house, checking under the couch, behind the bookcases. I check the kitchen but there's no one in there either, in any cabinets nor under the table. I start walking towards the rooms and there's no one in the hallway. I have to hand it to them, they're able to keep even more quiet than I expected. There's no one in the bathroom so I walk towards GIR's room. The door is cracked open so I slowly push it open some more. There couldn't possibly be anyone under the race car bed up against the window, it's way too low to the floor. The bed isn't made though so I do pick up the blankets to see if anyone's underneath. Nothing.
"You guys are getting pretty good at this." I call out, listening for any sign of giggling. There's still complete silence. I tug open the huge bright red toy chest on the left wall of the room and sift through all the stuffed pigs and play mooses. No one is there as far as I can tell. I look up, scanning the few shelves on the wall over it, in case anyone may be impersonating one of the action figures but everyone's in their spot. Count Cocofang, Bloaty, Floopsy, and the stuffed angry monkey are all still. The last place to check is the little closet. The narrow pink door is covered in drawings and a lot of them look like my sister. Literally drawings of her just standing there. Some with arrows pointing to her hair. "When did these get here?" I whisper to myself. Then I shake my head and twist the doorknob. The door creaks open and I'm about to look on the top shelf when Minimoose jumps out at me.
"YOU SCARED ME!" I complain but start laughing anyway. He just squeaks at me. I shut the closet door. "Okay, now you have to help me find GIR."
He floats towards the door and I follow him out of GIR's room and back into the hallway. He opens Zim's room door and floats over to the bed where a tiny GIR lay right in the middle, lightly snoring. He's nuzzled under the huge maroon blankets and I can't help but laugh quietly. "Good work, Minimoose. Next game, you're it though" I whisper. I turn to go back out the door and slam right into someone else, nearly knocking me off balance. "Ow!" I say, but before I can actually fall over, there's a firm grip on my wrist, steadying me.
"What are you-" Zim starts to ask, squinting an eye at me.
"Shhh!" I whisper insistently "If you wake him up now, he'll demand I take him to the Waffle House." Which, now that I think of it, sounds pretty good. I had no idea until now, I'm starving. Zim let's go of my arm when I get my footing again, peering past me at GIR asleep in his bed. We both move as Minimoose floats by us, down the hall.
"And just where have you been!?" Zim hisses and Minimoose doesn't respond beyond a small squeak. His answer doesn't appear to be satisfactory because Zim just rolls his eyes. Then he's focused on me again. "Why are the lights out!?" He whispers, glaring at me.
"We uh, we were playing hide and seek…" I say, staring at the floor.
"Oh." He replies and when I look at him his glare has shifted into an actual smile. "Well, since it got GIR to sleep, I approve of this strategy."
I watch his eyes for a second and decide it's probably a bad idea. The dim blue light from my contacts is illuminating him in the dark and it's almost like he's glowing.
"How did it go?" I ask even though I'm still staring at the floor. There's a beat of silence and then Zim grabs my wrist again, tugging me back towards the living room. We both sit down on the couch and even though his expression looks pretty neutral, he's buzzing with energy.
"Minimoose!" He half shouts. About a second later, all the lights come back on. The tv stays off though so it's too quiet.
"Okay, so what happened?" I ask again.
"The transmission went well. I let them know that I have chosen to accept their offer. I'm required to depart this coming Friday."
"That's in five days. Wow…" I gasp.
"Yes well, it would have been sooner, however I convinced them to send me a new ship for this trip. It's a long way to Irk from here and the last time I made that trip, I almost took GIR apart with my bare hands."
"How long will it take to get there?"
"Don't worry, they've made many technological advancements since my first trip here, so this new ship will be able to cover more distance much quicker than my voot. It shouldn't take more than a few weeks to get there and the process sounds fairly simple."
"Okay and… what exactly is the process?" I inquire. I still can't help the fact that I don't trust the Tallests at all.
"It's just a regular scan. Sounds pretty noninvasive to me. But I'll get more details once I get there." He replies dismissively.
"So essentially, we'll be gone until like… What thanksgiving?" I ask, trying to calculate but it's becoming more and more obvious how hungry I am and I cannot focus. "I haven't even thought of what to tell my dad and my sister. How do I explain being gone for months?" I wonder aloud, more to myself.
"Oh they won't care."
"Gee, thanks."
"Well, we have a week for you to get all your affairs in order and to collect anything you'll need to bring with you. Pack whatever you need, the ship's huge. It'll be deposited in a clearing not far from here on Friday after sundown." He explains. I can't tell if all the energy behind his words is from nervousness or excitement. It's probably a combination of both.
"Okay yeah. Hey, I mean I know you already accepted and everything is set but um… Are you sure about this? Like are you okay with it?"
"Of course I am. It's what my Tallests want." He replies like it should be obvious.
"They haven't even reversed your banishment yet, they're not your Tallests." I say. He looks confused for a second and then thoughtful.
"Right right. I… yeah I definitely want to do this." He says, gaze flitting around the room. I reach up again to run a hand through my hair or adjust my glasses and wonder if I'll get used to this disguise any time soon.
"Alright. Well I guess I'll change back and head home. Gaz is going out so…" I say, standing up. It's weird because I like when she's home so the house doesn't feel so lonely but I also like when she isn't because I feel like I can breathe easier. I don't actually want to leave the base but I realize I am absolutely exhausted and super hungry. There's also way too much on my mind. We've visited space together a few times but they were always quick day trips. And most of the time, we didn't actually go anywhere. We just hung around space. And sometimes we let GIR run around on the moon. But this is like… Completely different. There's a real purpose for this trip and it's going to take much longer than I'm used to.
I grip the edge of my antennas and surprisingly the headphones come away from me easily. It feels like something was holding my face up all this time and now my face is relaxed, kind of tingly.
"The PAK has an eject button on the right, towards the bottom." Zim points out. He's right. I click it and the PAK comes away in my hand. It's super lightweight which is awesome since it needs to be on my back all day. "Should I leave these with you?" I ask, as I remove the contacts.
"For what? I don't need them. Just don't break them." He replies. I nod, removing the necklace and walking over by the door. I pick up the black backpack I deposited there when I got here and tuck everything away, pulling it on and adjusting the straps on my shoulders.
"Uh… I'll see you later?" I say more of a question since Zim is still sitting on the couch staring at the black tv screen.
"Actually. I mean. Is it imperative that you leave now?" He asks, jumping to his feet. I pull my glasses from my pocket and put them on. I should say yes because I need to eat and take a long nap, possibly sleep for the next 12 hours but I make the mistake of looking him in the eye and I can't do it. My ability to deny him anything has been steadily decreasing over the years. I don't even know if he realizes that.
"I guess not… why?"
"Oh okay well. The um, some of the readings from your PAK scan were a little off. There basically isn't anything in your stomach." He says.
"The readings? My… What?" I ask, confused.
"I mean, I meant that's good. You should go with me to the uh. The Waffle House." He says, picking at one of his gloves but keeping his gaze on me. I should probably just say sure but I cannot resist. I grin, furrowing my brows.
"Are you asking me on a date?" I ask. He scoffs and rolls his eyes.
"Hardly. We're all going. And I know you're obviously hungry." He says and I just raise an eyebrow. He huffs out a long sigh. "Yes."
"I'll definitely go with you to The Waffle House, Space Boy" I say, still smiling but feeling my face get hot. He nods his approval of my decision.
"A date then. With a third and fourth wheel but a date nonetheless. I'll go get GIR." He says, turning on his heel and marching back towards his bedroom. When he does, I come to a realization. No one has ever asked me on a date before. And I've never asked anyone either. Hm. I mean there have been a couple of girls in the past and like one guy to show any interest in me but it doesn't typically last long enough for them to ask for a date or anything. Until three months ago, I'd never even kissed anyone.
I lean against the door and look down, remembering my shirt is stained with all that chocolate sauce.
"Crap." I whisper, wiping at it as if that'll help. I'm actually surprised he didn't complain about it. Probably because he knows how it got there. Still, there's no way I can go on this date with him like this. Most of the time, when we hang out, it's been here at the base. And we usually get takeout. Which I don't mind at all because he should be comfortable and not have to wear his disguise. We may have gotten food one on one a few times in high school but we really were just friends then. This will be our first sort of date in our new sort of relationship. I can't go looking sort of awful. Maybe I can meet them there? No, I can't do that. That would be weird since I'm already here.
He comes back to the living room with GIR excitedly clanking in tow, now wearing his little brother disguise, and Minimoose under one arm.
"Zim" I laugh nervously. "Would it be okay if I go home and change first?" I ask, gesturing at my shirt.
"I noticed you filthied yourself. That won't be necessary. Here." He says, handing Minimoose to me. I hold him arms length away from me, I mean why is he being carried? He floats! He doesn't even walk! GIR races over to me, jumping up to grab onto one of my arms and swinging back and forth. Zim disappears and then comes back with a black shirt. He takes Minimoose and I take the shirt when GIR finally jumps down.
"Thanks" I say feeling relieved for a second as I hold it up, making sure it will fit. "Wait a minute. Is this my shirt?" I ask.
"No, it's my shirt. I'm letting you borrow it." Zim says flippantly.
"This is my name on the tag." I say, holding it up by the tag.
"I put that there!" He snaps. "Just go change already!"
I just shake my head and walk to the bathroom, switching out the stained white shirt for the black v-neck that he apparently stole from me at some point. It hugs me more than the oversized white shirt did but it's comfortable. I guess a black shirt with black jeans and black combat boots is… it'll have to do. I'm about to throw my shirt into the hamper and of course decide against it. I'll put it in my bag and wash it at home. I Run my hands through my hair a few times and just head back to the living room where Zim is sitting with Minimoose on his lap and GIR is sitting next to them.
"Can we go now?!" GIR asks excitedly jumping over to the door.
"Yup, now that I'm dressed like a shadow." I reply sarcastically.
"Nonsense." Zim waves me off, walking towards the door. "Besides, I like you in all black."
I feel my face start to burn as he activates his disguise and tugs the door open. GIR rushes out first and Zim looks back at me.
"You'd better give it back." He says, glancing down at my shirt before meeting my eyes again and then leaving. I just laugh and pick up my book bag on the way out, stuffing the stained shirt inside. I unlock the car doors and GIR immediately jumps in the backseat. I secure his seatbelt (which he surprisingly doesn't usually take off) and then I drop my bag off in the trunk while Zim places Minimoose in the seat next to GIR and then gets into the front passenger seat. I give him a pointed look until he finally puts his seatbelt on and then I start the car, pulling away from the curb.
"WAIT!" GIR shouts right behind me. I almost stomp on the brakes as a knee jerk reaction but I stop myself at the last second.
"What?" I ask, glancing at him in the rearview mirror. Well, the top of his head. It's GIR. He's always overly hysterical. It can't be serious.
"I need Mr. Pig! I can't go to The Waffle House without him! He'll be mad!" GIR whines. I sigh and look over at Zim who's glaring out the side window.
"Should I-" I start to ask if I should turn around but Zim shakes his head. A second later, a PAK leg extends towards the back of the car, shoving a small plush pig at GIR who happily accepts it.
"Wow." I say, picking up speed now that it seems like everyone's happy.
"I know better." Zim replies. I nod in understanding. Time with GIR can be downright tortuous when he doesn't get what he wants.