Haiii ! ! So I know that chapter 7 ended super abruptly ! ! That's because I didn't want it to get too long by including * * DRUMROLL PLEASE * * THE DATE ! ! * * Cue the romantic music and mood lighting * * Haha ^_^ But yeah , I hope you enjoy reading this chapter ! ! The title of this update comes from the song " Beautiful Disaster " by Kelly Clarkson ! ! And yessss ! ! That song is what the title of the entire story is named after ^_^ ! ! You can expect of course a pretty short tempered Zim . Also trigger warning for some implied minor character death . Also the mention of vomit yet again . Oh and a teensy bit of foul language . I think that's everything so I hope you enjoy this chapter ! ! Reviews are greatly appreciated ! ! Thank you so much for keeping up with my story ! !
But He's Only Happy Hysterical
"You drive like an earth snail." He says, rolling his eyes.
"You know, I'm from earth, you don't have to say earth snail. I know what a snail is." I reply.
"Sometimes I forget you aren't the extraterrestrial here." He says, cutting an eye at me. I make it a point to ignore the comment and keep my focus on driving. I have no idea when GIR started asking if we were there yet but he doesn't stop until we're finally pulling up into the parking lot.
"YEAH, YES, GIR, WE'RE HERE, WE ARE HERE, PLEASE… Shhh." I finally snap. He's totally unphased, eyes wide as he looks out the window at the restaurant with a huge grin on his little face. Minimoose squeaks and Zim snorts a laugh. I narrow my eyes and look from one to the other. Zim just shrugs, feigning innocence and I give him an 'I call BS' look. "Alright, everybody get out."
Minimoose door opens first and he floats out. Then Zim gets out and retrieves GIR and I lock up when we're all out. The Waffle House is a large rectangle almost entirely made up of glass windows. It takes up the entire block it's on. The top is yellow and states "Waffle House" in huge letters. When we get inside there's a guy ready at the front.
"Hi! My name is Derek. How's everyone doing today?" He greets. He's obviously way too cheery for Zim who audibly sighs and rolls his eyes.
"Great, thanks. Uh… There's a few of us… sort of. Can we get a booth? Is table 13 open?" I inquire.
"Actually yeah, I just cleaned it off myself. You want a kids menu?" He asks.
"Yes please." I reply and he reaches behind the table he's at to get one. He hands it to me along with a pack of color pencils. Minimoose squeaks under Zim's arm and Zim looks at me expectantly. "Ummm. Actually, can I get two? Please." I ask. Derek gives me a confused look and then shrugs, handing me a second set.
"Follow me." He says, walking off.
"Seriously, Minimoose?" I whisper as we all trail behind Derek. I Picked table 13 because it's a booth shaped like the letter U. Also, 13 is my favorite number.
"A waiter will be right over to take your order. Enjoy your meal!" Derek says and walks away quickly.
"Alright Zim, you go ahead." I gesture.
"Why do I have to sit first?" He asks.
"Because you go in the middle."
"You just don't want to sit next to GIR."
"Guilty. Sit down." I reply. He sits down and slides down to the middle and I point to the couch space on his right for GIR. He sits down and I sit on Zim's left. Minimoose decides of course to sit next to GIR who is immediately preoccupied with the kids menu activities, stopping here and there to talk to Mr. Pig or Minimoose.
"This place isn't as bad as I thought it would be." Zim says, thoughtfully while looking around. The interior is pretty calm. There's a bar at the back of the restaurant and a few tall tables around it. We're sitting in the family area though since that's where all the booths are. All the tables are bright yellow with silver T shaped legs and there's a tv above each booth but ours isn't on. Yet. All the waiters are wearing black dress pants and white button ups with yellow vests while the waitresses are wearing black dress pants, white button ups and yellow aprons with ruffles around the edges.
"Good, I was nervous that the smell might make you puke." I say and as the words are leaving my mouth I realize too late that I shouldn't be saying them but they're already out and Zim is glaring at me so hard, it almost feels like he really is staring holes into me. "Wait, no I didn't mean- I was just- I wasn't-"
"Good evening y'all! My name's Kya, I'll be your waitress for today. Would you like to start off with drinks or do you already know what you want to order?" Kya interrupts my terribly sputtered explanation.
"Um…" I say, staring up at her but my mind is totally blanking.
"I want a large classic poop!" GIR screams at her. She blinks a few times in surprise.
"Oh my gosh! You are absolutely precious!" She gushes and GIR holds his head up a little higher, smiling largely at her. "How old are you?"
"I dunno!" GIR replies cheerily, shrugging his shoulders. It's a good question, though. I think Zim told me a long time ago that the Tallests made GIR specially for him just when he left for Earth. Technically that would mean GIR has been in existence for roughly 7 or 8 years.
"Your son?" She asks me.
"What?!" I gasp and start choking. "No, not at all! Wait, he's blond and I'm… no, no he's not my son."
"He's my brother. Mind your own business, wench." Zim says, narrowing his gaze at her.
"Oh…" she says, obviously taken aback.
"Actually, Kya, can we please get a few more minutes?" I ask, trying to offer a polite smile but she's focused on Zim's glare as she nods.
"Sure." She says, quickly walking away.
"She's annoying." Zim hisses.
"She's just being nice."
"She's nosy."
"She was just making conversation."
"I want a different servant."
"It's servER and no. You didn't even give her a chance. Just look at your menu and pick something!" I whisper, sliding a menu closer to him.
"I'm not eating anything from here." He whispers back, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Don't be stubborn." I reply but that's like telling him not to breathe. "I'm sure we can find something. Please. Just try." I sigh and glance over at GIR and Minimoose. They're staring at the tv screen that I'm pretty sure Minimoose turned on because I didn't see anyone move to do it. "Zim, I wasn't trying to bring up what happened in the lab." I whisper.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He says, staring at me blankly.
"Don't do that."
"Nothing happened." He continues. It's another one of those moments where I have to decide if I want to let him shut me out or if I want to try and pry. He's acting like he clearly doesn't want to discuss it but it's obviously bothering him.
"It's okay. We're supposed to talk about these things. Talking about it will help us figure this whole thing out." I say quietly, not that GIR or Minimoose would really care what we're discussing.
"There's nothing to talk about!" Zim snaps. "I don't even know what that was about. It just happens sometimes…"
"So it happened before? With me?"
"No but sometimes it just feels like it might. I didn't think it would really happen." He says more to the table than to me.
"Why do you think it happens?" I ask softly but he visibly winces.
"Because! I don't know, okay!? And I don't want to talk about it!" He hisses at me. His gaze flicks up to mine and for a moment I just watch the look in his disguised eyes but it doesn't help me discern how he's feeling. I don't know if he's lying about not knowing what's causing him to feel sick and I don't know if he really doesn't want to talk about it.
"Okay." I nod. " We won't talk about it." I smile. He squints an eye at me, widening the other.
"O…Kay." He replies warily.
"But you have to order something." I say, tapping his menu again.
He actually starts to laugh and I smile at him. It's not his maleficent laughter. It's a different kind that for a while, I didn't even know he had. It's a normal laugh. Well it would be if it weren't coming from him.
"Deal. Now stop staring at me." He says, poking a pointed gloved finger to my cheek, turning me away from him. We're both looking through our menus, chatting about what we'll probably order (well Zim is making gag noises at everything) for a couple of minutes when Kya cautiously approaches our table.
"Hi… Are you all ready to order?" She asks but she's staring directly at me.
"I think so." I reply and she pulls out her tablet to enter our order. I look at Zim and he nods towards Kya so I guess I should put my order in first.
"I'm going to get the strawberry banana waffles with a side of bacon. And an iced coffee." I say. And she's nodding as she types it up.
"He'll have the confetti cupcake waffles, extra whipped cream, and the large classic poop he requested previously. And I'll have the Mediterranean omelet with a side of toast and a large lemonade." Zim declares, not taking his half-lidded gaze off of Kya who is pretending not to notice by keeping her gaze down on her tablet.
"Got it. So strawberry banana waffles with a side of bacon, iced coffee, confetti cupcake waffles, large classic poop shake, a Mediterranean omelet, buttered toast and a large lemonade." She repeats.
"I didn't say anything about butter!" Zim complains.
"What kind of toast then?" Kya asks, confused.
"Don't put anything on it! Just bring it here!" He replies. Clearly losing patience.
"Plain toast." I interject and she just nods, typing that in.
"Okay. I'll be back with your drinks in a moment." She says, collecting the menus Zim and I were using and walking off again.
"So breakfast for dinner. I'm digging the anarchy." I state.
"ANARCHY!" GIR shouts, slamming his hands on the table and Minimoose squeaks a response as well.
"Don't get him started." Zim shakes his head but GIR is immediately drawn back into whatever is playing on our tv. I could see why Kya thought he was adorable. Zim upgraded his little brother disguise a while back and his hologram looks just like a little blond haired, bright blue eyed toddler, wearing a light blue shirt with a yellow duck on it and tan pants.
"So, you're trying an omelet?" I ask.
"Ew. No. I'd never eat that garbage." Zim shudders and Minimoose squeaks. "Sorry but it sounds awful."
"Wait. Minimoose is getting a Mediterranean omelet?" I ask, looking between them for a second. Zim just shrugs.
"He's a vegetarian."
"Right…" I reply.
"So. How was the moon staring last night?" Zim asks.
"There's really nothing going on. At one point there was something weird about the anomaly, all the metal under the surface. It was like that huge crater was spilling something for a whole two minutes. I have pictures at home, I'll bring them with me next time so you can see."
"And the moon, being full like it was, really has an effect on people?" He asks, still turned towards me but his eyes are focused on the table.
"Yeah. But they don't really know that. But I'm doing all this research so I can make a more convincing argument. You wouldn't believe how insanely difficult it is to write a scholarly peer reviewed article when there are hardly any sources besides your own and no one wants to review it. But I want to convince people that when there's a full moon, speed limits should be decreased, businesses should close sooner, there should be some kind of curfew in effect. More firemen and doctors on those nights. It would help a lot of people, if they would just listen to me for once." I reply and he's nodding his head.
"You really don't give up." He says, finally looking at me again. I just smile at him.
"Obviously." I reply. A faint blue color dusts over his cheeks which is funny because he's wearing his disguise and humans don't blush in blue.
"Okay, Earthanoid." He says, clearing his throat, "Well. I want you to tell me your thoughts about that thing with the dream simulator."
"Sure, I can do that."
"I couldn't see anything, like it was even too dark for my amazing vision. Then I saw this little fire but it started to grow and when I tried to get away from it, the walls just closed in around me. I didn't get out." He explains.
"Oh wow." I say thoughtfully.
"Well hurry it up!" He scolds. I'm about to respond when Kya comes back over with a tray full of drinks.
"Here we are." She says, setting them in front of each of us. Zim grimaces when she sets the lemonade in front of him and he shoves it towards Minimoose. Kya just sighs dejectedly. "I'll be back with your food."
"Thank you." I smile but she's already walking away. I'm still mulling over the dream Zim had as I pick up my iced coffee and take the shortest sip of my life because it's whisked away from my face and back on the table with a clank in a second.
"Start talking!" Zim demands. My mouth is still hanging open for a second.
"Okay okay!" I huff and he eyes me expectantly. "Well, Being on fire in a dream can depict that maybe you feel like something is consuming you. But it can also mean a transformation of sorts. And you said you were trapped, so you tried to get away from it and couldn't so whatever it is isn't something you can get away from. Now being trapped is a symbol of your emotions about your life and your fears for the future."
"That's preposterous! Zim has no fears! Ugh, I knew emotions were nothing but trouble. I'll never use it again!" He says loudly and a few other customers turn towards us.
"Would you be quiet!" I whisper. "And like I said, just forget it, it's not important. The important thing is you weren't really on fire." I shrug, plucking a straw up from the edge of the table where Kya left a few. GIR does the same and Zim takes the one I picked up out of my hand, tearing it open and placing it in Minimoose's lemonade. "Okay" I say, reaching for the last straw which he then takes from me again. "Seriously?!" I ask, elbowing him in the side. He just shrugs and tears the paper away, balling it up.
"Have your disgusting caffeine. You don't need this." He replies. So I settle for drinking my coffee from the glass.
"Okay. Here you go, confetti cupcake waffles with extra whipped cream side of bacon, Mediterranean omelet, strawberry banana waffles with bacon, and plain toast." Kya says as she sets everything out for us. GIR immediately starts tearing into his food and she backs away from our table. Zim picks up the plate with the omelet on it and squints at it before setting it in front of Minimoose.
"I hope toast is all you want because I highly doubt Kya will be back anytime soon." I say, picking up a fork to start eating. Zim growls as he looks up from the little ball he's making out of the straw wrapper, narrowing his eyes at Kya across the room.
"I hate her." He says.
"You don't know her." I reply.
"So what?" He hisses. I just shrug and keep eating.
"These are amazing. Not as good as yours GIR but still, pretty good." I say. GIR giggles and some of his food falls out.
"Gross." Zim scoffs. I'm borderline inhaling my iced coffee like it's a lifeline, I mean it kind of is at this point because I need sleep so badly, when something hits the side of my face and falls to the table. I glance down and it's the straw paper. When I look at Zim he still has the straw in his mouth directed at me.
"Are you going to let me eat?" I laugh.
"You may eat now." He replies, holding the straw up to his face and looking through it. GIR is halfway done with his food and Minimoose (somehow) is almost done with his own. My stomach is super thankful while I'm eating my own food and I make a mental note to remind dad that Foodio isn't working properly. Otherwise, I would have had breakfast today prepared by the robot himself but he needs maintenance.
"Tell me about Irk." I say when I've eaten enough food so that I can finally focus. I don't want him to dwell too much on the whole dream thing and I also don't want him to think too hard about poor Kya. Zim's only eaten one slice of toast when I speak and his eyes light up. It's definitely a sight since years ago, asking about Irk would get me nothing more than a malicious 'no'. Well, perhaps along with a few more explicatives. But now. I like where we are now.
"It's red. And so is our sun but the sky is pink. Our sun is much larger than yours and it's closer to our planet but it isn't as hot as yours, which is a good thing because it's a steel planet and Irkens don't thrive much in horrible heat. You can actually look at our sun, just like you look at other stars. Oh, and there aren't exact coordinates for it because it's a traveling planet."
"It's made of steel?" I ask.
"Yes." He replies.
"Okay, what else?"
"What else do you want to know?" He shrugs, picking up his other piece of toast. I think for a second. Now that he'll actually talk to me about this kind of stuff, I'm having trouble coming up with questions as easily as I could when I was a child.
"I don't know." I shrug. "What's a normal day like there?"
"Well there is no day and night. The sun and moon are both always visible."
"Wow." I say, thoughtfully, trying to imagine it. "It actually sounds… Kind of beautiful."
"Of course it is." Zim replies sounding almost dazed for a moment but then it disappears. "Not that it matters." He continues, clearing his throat. "That's not important. It's a soldier planet."
"Right." I sigh. "What does that mean?"
"It's not made to look beautiful. It was made to create soldiers and invaders. To produce unstoppable forces of destruction, master manipulators, and deathless killing machines." He sighs and a sharp toothed smile spreads across his face. "That's the real beauty of it." The only thing nice about what he just said is how he looked while saying it.
"Sounds…Uh…Well are there any buildings?"
"Oh yes, many. Hatcheries, academies, training facilities, WPFs." He replies.
"Right, hatcheries are where you're made. By the Control Brains?" He nods. "If Irkens are deathless, why does the Control Brains keep making more?"
"Tuh, humans really have no idea just how many planets there really are." He says, shaking his head.
"Fair. What are WPFs?"
"Weapon Producing Facilities." He replies. Of course.
"Well are there like, I don't know, restaurants? Like this one? Hospitals? Houses?" I ask.
"No no and no."
"You guys really don't eat?"
"Whatever we're given is provided at the academy. All the good stuff is reserved for the Tallests."
"Is the only thing taught there how to be an invader?" This conversation is going surprisingly well. Not exactly first date conversation but it's actually fascinating to hear. Especially since Zim has never been so eager to share even this much with me. Of course in the beginning, it made sense. Sharing any information with me would be just divulging secrets to the enemy. And then, even when I wasn't the enemy anymore, we operated as if Irk didn't even exist unless he brought it up which he rarely did. It was just a sore topic for a while. Now, he seems excited to be sharing all of this with me and however unconventional it is, I find myself enjoying my first official date.
"Not at all. The academies produce soldiers, invaders, and weapons specialists. Soldiers are to keep Irks defenses up, protect the main planet and the Tallests. Some soldiers are lucky enough to serve the Tallests themselves. Invaders of course are made to invade inferior planets and weapons specialists are made to create, maintain, and fix our arsenal." He explains.
"I don't get it. If life on Irk is all about war, how could you not have hospitals."
"We don't need them. Our PAKs help repair us if we need it and if there's damage beyond help, you get deactivated." He shrugs.
"Where does everyone live?" I ask.
"We all live underground, in the academies. We train for our entire lives until we receive an assignment." He says. "There are dormitories for outsiders though. Not very popular since not many people visit but the Tallests placed them there for ally planets just in case. More often throughout history they have been used to store useless Irkens until they are deactivated."
I'm quietly mulling everything over. Irk always sounded intense but now it just sounds downright scary. And Zim sounds so normal talking about it.
Kya approaches the table a little later and we ask her to bring the bill. When she does, Zim pays for everything with exact cash and absolutely refuses to leave a tip. She collects the money and leaves, seeming relieved to be done handling our table.
"Where do you get all your money?" I inquire.
"From GIR. He always has tons of it." Zim says nonchalantly.
"From where?" I ask.
"I have no idea. He won't tell me." He replies. I'm just looking at him slack jawed for a moment. "Can we go now?" He asks, squinting at me.
"Actually, give me a minute, I need to use the bathroom." I say, sliding out of the booth. I walk over to the bathroom which is out of view from Zim and near the kitchen. I just stand there for a few minutes and finally Kya comes out of the kitchen with someone's order. "Hi! I um, I'm sorry about my uh (this is always awkward)… Friend. But thank you for still being nice." I say, handing her a $20 bill.
"Oh wow, thank you!" She says, finally smiling.
"No problem. Have a good night." I reply, heading back to our booth. "Okay let's go." I say and everyone starts to file out. Derek isn't at his post right now (thank goodness, so Zim won't be able to glare at him). Zim opens the door to the exit and holds it. GIR and Minimoose head for the parking lot and I follow behind them but when I get outside I notice Zim isn't with me. I turn around and he's still in the doorway. "Zim?" I ask, walking back over to him and when I get there I see the straw in his mouth right as he huffs a breath through it and something tiny and black shoots out from it and flies across the room.
Suddenly Kya, who was on her way back to the kitchen, is shrieking and falling forward onto the carpet. My eyes widen as other workers gather around her and the few other customers are straining their necks to watch the scene unfold from their table. They're so focused on her, they don't see Zim and I so I hurry up and tug him out the door, towards the parking lot before anyone can notice his cackling laughter.
"SERIOUSLY?!" I yell when we get to my car. "What the fuck?" He's holding his stomach, still laughing. He's actually laughing so hard, GIR starts laughing with him while sitting on the hood of my car.
"She -haha- she'll be f-fine." He says, still laughing.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "What did you do?"
"It's just a mini dart. She's fine." He replies. "She's asleep. I promise. Just asleep. The wretched girl."
"Is she really?" I ask warily but he just smiles at me. I'm seriously going to have to rethink places we go for dates…
I sigh, walking around to the front passenger side of the car and tugging the door open. "Get in. Before you do anything that gets you thrown in jail. Again."
He just rolls his eyes, plucking GIR up from the hood of the car and placing him in the backseat with Minimoose. When they're secured, he walks around to where I'm still waiting. He stops in front of me for a second just smiling before he gets in and I close his door.
"Put your seatbelt on." I tell him after I secure my own.
"Like I need to. You drive slower than I walk" He hisses. I sit back in my chair and cross my arms, staring forward. "Fine!" He yells, clicking it in place. I start the car and set off back to the base.
When we pull up to the house, GIR is snoring loudly in the backseat and Minimoose appears to be asleep on top of GIR's head.
"So. Did you have fun?" I ask after I park the car.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He asks, squinting one eye at me.
"You can but I still want to ask you." I reply.
"Of course I did." He shrugs.
"Okay. Me too." I say, smiling at the dashboard. "Even though you traumatized our waitress."
"She had it coming." Zim replies.
"She's definitely okay though, right?"
"Sure, sure." He replies with a venomous grin.
"Anyway." I say, turning to face him more and he turns too. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, Dib-Thing." He says, head high as he unbuckles his seatbelt and pulls his door open. He gets out and walks around the back, opening the door and placing Minimoose under his arm and GIR over his shoulder. He marches over to his front door and heads inside but I'm still sitting there. Trying to process everything.
Irk definitely doesn't sound like somewhere I want to be going. But it's like my mind is already made up, there really aren't any options because if Zim is going, I'm going. His blind loyalty to his Tallests has almost gotten him killed tons of times and I have a painful feeling that this will be another one of those times. Who's to say they won't accidentally kill him while making this weird anti-Zim vaccine? I doubt they're going to be careful, he said himself, they basically don't care if Irkens get hurt beyond repair. They don't even have hospitals. Which is weird. Who else could even be qualified to make something like this if not a doctor?
I huff out a breath and place my hands on the steering wheel, dropping my forehand between them. Who am I to call him out for blind loyalty at this point?
I was definitely never a fan of being called crazy when I was younger. I'm still not a huge fan now. People always thought I was crazy no matter how much evidence I presented to them. All the proof I always had about Zim, all the proof I always had about the lake monster, Sasquatch, vampire bats, zombie mall security guards, all of it. It's gotten me thrown into the Crazy House for Boys on countless occasions but I always knew I was more sane than anyone else on this planet. It's a gift and a curse because it really looks like ignorance is bliss the way everyone goes on about their lives while I spend all my time protecting them from everything they don't believe in.
But now, I'm actually beginning to wonder if I am crazy. Obviously anyone trying to date Zim has questionable mental stability but besides that. Irk produces nothing but the most dangerous soldiers and I'm willingly going there with one that even they decided is too unstable for them. If I could just have one rational thought, I would just let Zim go on his own.
I sit up and lean my head against the seat, turning towards the door to that weird but incredible little house.
I should just tell him that I'll see him when he gets back but he worked really hard making sure I would be able to go. Not only that, but I really would miss him if he were gone for months. And this is an amazing opportunity for me to travel to a completely different planet and observe a different race. And it definitely will be… An experience. I will be honest here. I would follow him anywhere at this point.
And why? Why is that? Well. Now I find myself thinking about the way he was laughing on our way to the parking lot. That sharp toothed smile and long red tongue even with his disguise on. I bite my bottom lip, trying not to smile as I shake my head still staring at the house door.
If I'm not already in love, I'm definitely falling.