Haiiii ! ! I'm back with an update ! ! Chapter 10 is written from Zim's perspective . The main purpose of this chapter is to really start to convey how much Zim is struggling internally . In this update , he's starting to plan in more detail how he can bring his human with him on his trip . Oh ! And he does call Skoodge . This chapter title comes from the song " Control " by Halsey because it just gives me intense Zim vibes . He's definitely struggling to be in control of plenty , especially his life and his thoughts . I hope you enjoy this update ! ! Reviews are greatly appreciated ! !

My Mind's Like a Deadly Disease

I don't want to use the dream simulator tonight. So I will not. I'm recounting the events of that date as I deposit GIR onto his bed next to Minimoose. Thankfully, neither of them wakes up and I slip out undetected, shutting the door and then leaning against it taking a deep breath as I deactivate my disguise. Those horrible wretched contacts! I can't wait to take a break from them.

Right! I need to make a phone call.

I ease up off the door and walk over to the living room. "Computer."

"Yeah?" He asks and he sounds more bored than anything.

"Open up a transmission with Invader Skoodge." I state, placing myself in the center of the tv and clasping my hands behind my back. The screen lights up blue for a few seconds before the call is immediately connected.

"Hi Zim!" Skoodge says cheerily. He's standing similarly to myself but behind him is a blank white wall.

"Skoodge, I need to ask a favor of you."

"I just scheduled your Irken grocery delivery, it should be-"

"Not that." I state. "I will be making a trip to Irk very soon. I need accommodations and I know you can help with that. The Tallests wish to see me but I need somewhere to store my… Belongings when I get there."

"You're coming to Irk?!" He exclaims.

"Focus on what I'm saying!" I snap. "I know you have connections and I know you live off the grid." Skoodge has been communing with the Off Grid Irkens for years now. I haven't seen him in person since we were both on Hobo-13, trying to earn a promotion from Tallests Red and Purple and I sacrificed him. He likes to keep in communication with me though. For whatever reason. But I find it comes in handy when I need it to. Especially now that he's the leader of the OGI.

"Right. So what is it you need?" He asks.

"You're in the abandoned dormitories, correct?"

"Yes."

"I need one." I nod.

"Oh. Well, sure, that can be arranged. But if the Tallests want to see you, why aren't they putting you up on the Massive?" He inquires.

"Because it won't take long. And they do not know what all I will be traveling with and I would prefer they do not find out."

"So the dormitory isn't for you? It's for your stuff?" He asks. I should probably just be honest. He can't properly help if I don't tell the truth. And he'll know something is up when I ask for this next favor anyway.

"It's for GIR. And Minimoose. They may not be present during my meeting with the Tallests"

"Then leave them on earth." Skoodge suggests, still sounding very confused.

"It's not that simple!" I shout. Then I take a breath, glancing down the hall at GIR's room. It's just Skoodge. He has no credibility with the Tallests. No one would believe anything he says. Well, no one important would believe him anyway. And that's if he were to ever be a backstabber to me which he clearly is not. "I… It's… complicated. I don't expect you to understand. It's a very complex situation."

"A complex situation? Is it as complex as when the Tallests took away my accomplishments and just gave them away? As complex as them firing me from a canon?" He asks. I just shake my head.

"I am bringing someone with me." I sigh. He's quiet for a moment and we're just staring at each other. I'm not sure if I'm grateful for a moment of silence or if it just makes me more anxious because I know exactly what he's thinking and I don't want to hear it.

"From earth?" He asks and I nod, ringing my hands behind my back. "Zim. No. You can't do that."

"Don't tell Zim what to do!" I hiss.

"Zim, humans don't belong here! If they find it, they'll feed it to the Digestor! Why would you even think of bringing it here?"

"I already told you! It's complicated and I don't expect you to understand. I don't expect anyone there to understand!" I reply. He sighs and looks off screen for a moment then right back at me.

"I don't even know how to house a human. How would I even care for it?" He asks.

"I am not asking you to babysit it! I'm asking you for a dormitory!" I say, losing what little patience I have left. "Zim will care for it, that's not your concern"

"Okay. Alright fine. When you're nearby, I need you to tell me before you alert the Tallests. I'll meet you and take you to the dormitories."

"I need one more thing." I say quickly. He just looks at me expectantly. "I need an invader's uniform. Two. By Thursday the latest."

"When is that again?" He asks.

"For you, it's a few hours. This is very, very, very, very, VERY important." It's not. I just really want a new invader outfit since my other one no longer fits.

"Oh, that's easy! Just send me the measurements and I'll have them sent right over." He waves his hand at nothing.

"Good. And Skoodge, if you so much as breathe a word about the human to anyone, I will make you believe that me sacrificing you on Hobo-13 was a walk in the proverbial park. Do we have an understanding?" I ask, narrowing my eyes.

"You can trust me, Zim." He says, rolling his eyes and sighing.

"Very well. Goodbye."

"Bye."

The transmission ends and I suppose that could have gone worse. At the end of the day, it sounds like I'll be receiving everything I have requested so it's a win for Zim in my book. I turn to walk away when I see a flicker on the transmission screen. I stop to watch it but nothing happens so I start away from it again and it flickers back on. It looks like the same white wall Skoodge was in front of only, it isn't him watching me. It's Almighty Tallests Miyuki and Spork. I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath.

"You have no idea what you're doing." Miyuki says.

"Go away." I reply.

"Oh we did. And you made sure of that right?" Spork says.

"I didn't do anything. I was doing my job!" I state as confidently as I can.

"What ever happened to that monster you sicked on us?" Spork asks.

"There was no monster! Get off my screen! Computer, end this transmission RIGHT NOW!" I demand.

"No transmission connected." Computer replies. I knew that was a long shot.

"The Infinite Energy Absorbing Blob!" Miyuki replies, snapping her fingers. "That's what it was right?"

"Leave me alone." I say quietly.

"Zim, I was the Tallest for a very long time before you hatched. I've seen how far our people have come. Even if you don't know what you're doing, I do. Leave the human alone. He's not safe with you." She continues.

"You don't know anything!" I hiss.

"We know what happens to everyone and everything you care about! Everyone you give your loyalty and affections to. Leave that human alone before he suffers the way we all did." Spork replies. I just shake my head.

"You know he won't. He's not going to stop, he never stops. He won't until that human is d-" Miyuki starts but her sentence is cut short by a laser blast to the tv. I shield my eyes from the scattering pieces and then check that they're gone. There's a smoking hole in the center of the tv glass and I shoot it again just for good measure, only mildly annoyed that I'll have to repair it in the near future.

They have no idea what they're talking about. I would never let anything happen to my human.

I walk to the bathroom and start up a shower. Which really is a mist of Irken cleansing chalk. After my shower, I'm pretty idle and it's driving me insane. I fixed my voot. Dib-Human has an ingenious disguise. I could continue working on my lab experiments but if this goes well, I won't have to live on earth anymore. I could even get reassigned to a planet the new Tallests actually want for Irk. I just need to prove myself. I just need to prove what I can be.

I decide to go back to GIR's room so I push the door open and take a seat at the end of the bed with my back against the wall. Both GIR and Minimoose are snoring into the pillows at the head of the bed and it's as annoying as it is comforting. This has to be the longest GIR has slept without being put in sleep mode. Dib should be around more often if this will be the case.

They're wrong. I know exactly how to take care of my human. I can get everything I want. I can go back to Irk, devote myself to my people, please My Tallests, spend time with Dib, and get a new assignment. A fresh start. And all of these haunting memories can finally fade away. Dib will never end up like Miyuki, Spork, Red, and Purple and none of their demise was ever my fault.

Well… It was my fault.

But it wasn't. I didn't do anything wrong. I was just trying to please them. They wouldn't let me prove myself and that's their own fault!

I yank on one of my antennae to drag me out of those thoughts. I have to stay focused and I have to stay in the present. I stand up from the bed. No one will be feeding anyone to that poor imprisoned Digestor. So I head down to the lab and get to work again.