Summary:
Zim and Dib finally make it to Irk safely! And are immediately greeted by two other Irkens but more questions start to arise for Dib as his anxiety about the nature of this trip grows. He knows Zim is keeping secrets but does he know to what extent?
Notes:
HAIIIIIII ! ! ^_^ Thanks for coming to check out this new chapter ! ! I am so happy they've finally landed on Irk and this is where things get INTENSE O_o . This chapter is named after the song I Don't Care but by Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber because it really captures how Dib feels about traveling with Zim . He is absolutely willing to go anywhere so long as his SpaceBug is there , too . It's sweet but . . . Dangerous haha XD This update is told from Dib's perspective and he is dealing with some pretty heavy emotions . I hope you enjoy this read , comments would be so greatly appreciated ! ! :))))
You Can Take Me Anywhere
Deep breath.
I keep repeating that to myself as I look at my reflection in the bathroom. I stare into my own otherworldly blue eyes and then shift my gaze down to my invader uniform. There's a sick overflow of emotions in my gut right now and as much as I just want to be excited and happy about visiting a new place with Zim, I doubt anyone in history has ever been happy to be here. It doesn't even really seem like Zim is all that happy to be here. If anything, he's just grateful for the opportunity to serve the Tallests again… But I don't trust them and he shouldn't either.
I send a quick message to my dad letting him know I'm still okay and then one to Gaz telling her 'we're here' before I hear my bedroom door swing open and GIR runs in yelling, followed by Minimoose.
"Whoa, what are you guys doing?" I ask but they both ignore me and continue running - and flying - around my room haphazardly, knocking my pillows off the bed and leaving a trail of weird pink cookie looking ovals all over the floor. "Okay, I need you two to fight over those in YOUR room!" I exclaim after they knock over a mug sitting on my night table and it shatters on the floor. A few seconds later GIR hops over my bed and races out of the room and Minimoose is still hot on his trail. "You've got to be kidding me…" I mumble as I make my way over to clean up the broken glass. These gloves really come in handy for things like this.
My door opens again and I start to complain but when I look up Zim is there and he looks around the room, puzzled.
"Should I put you in a straight jacket?" He asks, folding his arms.
"That's not funny." I reply, rolling my eyes and setting the broken pieces on the table. "They were fighting over some cookies."
"Oh. I can fix that." He replies, pointing to the shattered TSE mug.
"No it's okay, I have another one just like it."
"I'll fix it anyway." He says, crossing the room and taking the pieces. After they're stored away in his PAK he stands in front of me and squints.
"What?" I ask. He just keeps staring at my face, then reaches up and tugs on one of my antennas. "Ow! What?!" I ask, moving his hand away.
"I'm just making sure your disguise holds up. I've already alerted Skoodge to our arrival. We just have to beam down now. Have you packed your essentials?"
"I have, dad ." I scoff and continue swatting his hands away as he fiddles around with every piece of my disguise.
"Alright. Then we will be leaving now." He says, giving me one last once over before turning on his heel and leaving the room. I walk over to the door and pick up my duffel bag before following him to the cockpit.
"Hi Dib!" GIR waves excitedly from his seat in the middle of the floor. Minimoose is just casually resting atop his head.
"Hi GIR." I reply.
"You both stay right there." Zim says from the pilot's seat and I walk over, setting my bag down next to the copilot's seat and sitting down. Zim is staring forward but I don't see anything out where we've landed. The sun is pink and it's huge just like he said, but wherever we are, there's nothing but miles and miles of metal ground.
Suddenly, a tritoned beeping sounds from his right glove and he shuts it off.
"Skoodge is ready to escort us to the dorms." He says standing and walking over to… Well it's a wall but it's the same place we used to board the ship. It fades out of view and the transport belt extends down to the ground.
"You never told me why we need Skoodge to escort us to the dorms if they were put there by the Tallests." I point out.
"Because you don't need to know that." Zim replies. When I stand up and gather my bag, GIR must forget his previous order because he runs over and attaches himself to Zim's leg and Minimoose floats over the two of them. He starts walking towards the exit when suddenly someone else comes up. Zim backs up a step and gives the Irken a questioning look.
By the way he's looking, that is obviously not Skoodge and I feel anxiety pierce through my stomach in an instant. Skoodge didn't set us up, did he? What if it's just me he's after? What if he doesn't trust me and thinks I forced Zim to bring me here to wreck havoc? My hands are starting to feel clammy so I shift my bag from one hand to the other and try to calm down. Maybe Skoodge is in on whatever it is the Tallests are trying to do. Or maybe-
"Tenn?" Zim asks.
"Hello, Zim." The Irken replies. "Skoodge is just outside. He sent me to take your ship to the OGI parking structure."
"He told me he'd send someone but…" Zim says thoughtfully, attempting to shake GIR off of him but the little robot just isn't budging.
"But you didn't expect it to be me?" The Irken chuckles. It's antennas are pretty long and really curly at the ends. It also has very sharp looking eyelashes at the tips of large deep pink eyes. They aren't much like the red color Zim's are leaning towards. This Irken is also wearing an invaders uniform but the only difference I can see is a small black circle with a triangle inside stitched directly in the center of the top of the tunic.
"Well no. I heard that years ago you failed your mission and were dead." He says matter of factly and my eyes widen but Tenn doesn't seem to mind much so I just focus my gaze on my shoe as I start lightly kicking the floor of the ship.
"Not dead. It's a long story." It laughs. "But we've gotta get out of here. Hi. I'm Tenn."
I look at Zim and he's just watching me so I finally reach out and shake the offered hand briefly. This is the third Irken I've ever met. It seems weirdly nice compared to the others. Maybe not all Irkens are as intense as Zim and Tak.
"Is it capable of speech abilities?" Tenn inquires, an antenna perking upwards as it offers an arm up to Zim.
"Yes, he is." Zim says as he types some codes into the black glove.
"He. Alright. Skoodge told me you'd be traveling with someone else but I didn't know it'd be an Irken." Tenn says continuing to stare.
"Where is Skoodge?" Zim demands.
"Oh! He's on the lookout while he waits."
"Let's go." Zim says, starting for the exit again. The only reason I can tell it's somewhat cold on Irk is because my face feels it. Whatever this uniform is made of, it's keeping me pretty warm. Is it made to maintain body temperature? A question for another time. "Skoodge."
"Zim!" He replies, double checking our surroundings again before rushing over to us and actually hugging Zim. Like, I'm not sure if you know what it looks like for two Irkens to hug but it's weird. It doesn't last long though.
"Don't touch me." Zim replies, promptly shoving him away.
"Hi! Are you the human? Is this the human?" Skoodge asks excitedly.
"Speak up, Skoodge. I don't think the Tallests heard you on the Massive!" Zim hisses. GIR finally detaches himself from Zims leg and sits down next to my bag, leaning against it with Minimoose in his lap.
"Oh don't worry. No one comes out here. But we should be careful and vigilant." Skoodge says and then pauses as we hear a hiss come from the ship behind us before it becomes invisible and leaves only the sound of the engine as it drifts further and further away.
"Are you taking us to the dormitories?" I ask and Skoodge looks stunned.
"You taught it to speak Irken?" He asks and Zim rolls his eyes. "And this disguise is so-" he starts reaching up to poke the side of my face but Zim immediately slaps his hand away.
"Would you focus?!" Zim scolds.
"Alright, fine, fine. Come on" he replies, walking a few feet away and uncloaking his ship. It's not as giant as the one we just spent a week on but it's still large enough to carry all of us. It's a combination of matte black and bright silver metal resting high in the air on three skinny metal legs. On the side, engraved in a silver section, I see the same black symbol that was on Tenn's uniform. Now that I mention it, I see the same one on Skoodge's uniform. I wonder what that symbol means. "Stand over here, I'll beam us all up." He instructs, clicking around on his glove. I pick up my duffel bag which GIR is still sitting on, and we all head underneath the ship. I look up at the bottom as the purple lights all around the perimeter come on one at a time and I start to feel weightless. My bag, GIR, even my body just feels light enough to float away and I watch my view dissolve and fade away from the bottom of the ship to the glass ceiling in the cockpit on the inside of it. "You uh… Make yourself comfortable." Skoodge says awkwardly, moving to sit down in the pilot's chair. It's directly in the center of the cockpit and it's a sparkly black sort of marble material.
There are chairs on either side of him so Zim and I sit down and when GIR has made himself comfortable in my lap and Minimoose is sitting with Zim, Skoodge enters something into the controls counter and we take off. It's a bit of a shaky take off but it evens out and then we're just flying.
"Did you make this ship?" Zim asks him.
"Not on my own, no. We have a team who works on ships for us." He replies and it makes sense. It's not as nice as the one the Tallests sent Zim but it's decent. And it looks kind of… decorated? The lighting inside is red and on the wall behind us are plenty of hanging pieces of paper, maps, photos, decorative looking white lights strung up around that wall, and one single door. There's also this weird plant looking thing on the far right of the cockpit. It almost resembles a palm tree but it's multiple shades of purple and the leaves are various different lengths, some reaching all the way down to the floor.
"A team? You mean like the WPFs?" I ask and Skoodge gives me another surprised look before responding.
"Um. No. We have to make all our own stuff." He replies, shooting Zim a confused glance.
"I didn't tell him." Zim states.
"Oh. You could have. If you trust it then I-"
"Him. And I do." Zim interjects while staring out the windshield. I don't see why, there isn't much to look at out there.
"Him, then." Skoodge says, looking at me. "The OGI doesn't receive anything from the empire. Nor do we need it."
"OGI?" I ask.
"Offgrid Irken Demographic." He replies, refocusing on piloting. I glance over at Zim but he's busy fiddling around with his glove communicator. Offgrid Irken? As in, he's part of a group that doesn't identify with the empire? What is he doing picking us up, then? Zim is here to meet with the Tallests, right? Why would he need to be traveling with Offgrid Irkens? Something doesn't feel right…
"Do you have donuts!?" GIR asks loudly, startling me out of my suspicions.
"Uh, yeah actually I do. Help yourself, they're downstairs." He replies with a shrug. GIR jumps up and starts walking towards the door, humming whatever new made up song he's feeling for the day and I stand up too.
"I'll go with him!" I say abruptly. "Make sure he doesn't make too much of a mess… Uh, Zim, do you want to come see if there's anything you want?"
"No. Just bring me something." He replies without looking up and I clench my teeth.
"Actually, would you come with us? Just in case there's anything I can't read?" I ask and he looks up at me, perplexed.
"You can read Irken, Dib." He says, unamused and I sigh, pulling the door open that GIR was pushing. He takes off running down the steps into the darkness and I hover in the doorway a moment before following. When I get down there, he's already tearing things off of shelves.
I open my glove communicator and message Zim.
To SpaceBug: You are incredibly oblivious. I need to talk to you. Come downstairs.
After it's sent, I just watch GIR tearing into a bright orange bag of what looks like cheese curls. I'm half expecting a "for what" text back but surprisingly I hear the door open and Zim finally comes downstairs.
"What's the problem?" He asks, letting go of Minimoose so he can float off towards GIR.
"What's the problem?! You're kidding. Why are we traveling with Skoodge? Why is he an Offgrid Irken? How come you didn't tell me these things?"
"They aren't important for you to know." He shrugs and I sigh, running a hand down my face and he looks down at the floor. "Are you having the anxiety feelings?" He asks.
"Yes! I am! Because you aren't telling me anything and I'm on a soldier planet millions of light years away from anyone and everything I've ever known."
"Untrue. You know me. And GIR. Minimoose, too."
"Yes, but I need you to be open with me. Why didn't the Tallests request to pick you up?" I ask.
"They did!" He snaps but then takes a deep breath. "They would have met me here if I told them when I arrived. They don't know I'm here, yet."
"This is because of me, then?"
"Well it's… We're just going to get you all settled in the dormitories and then I'll have Tenn deliver my ship to the meeting point and I'll alert the Tallests that I'm here."
"The OGI are in the dormitories but I thought you said the Tallests put them there."
"They did. A long time ago. They're abandoned now. Well the Tallests believe they are. The OGI lives underneath them." He replies. I almost ask why he didn't tell me this to begin with but this day is already exhausting, I don't need to add to that. "Is this interrogation over with?"
"I guess it is for now. But… Are you absolutely sure I can't go with you when you go to meet with them?"
"Yes, Zim is absolutely sure. They don't know you're here."
"But they wouldn't even know I'm a human. What, do they know every Irken by name?"
"Of course not but we cannot risk it. There's too much you don't know."
"Like what?"
"Everything, Dib! Just… Stop asking me so many questions! I know what I'm doing!" He hisses.
"Fine then." I sigh dejectedly.
"Good." He says and then breaks out into a wide smile. It's genuine and absolutely beautiful, not to mention the complete opposite of the annoyed glare he's been sporting since he got down here. "Now that I'm here, though, let's raid his snacks!" He says, eyes sparkling and I smile.
"Sure, but I mean GIR pretty much has that covered." I reply as he drags me over to the shelves along the back wall. He starts sorting through packages, boxes, plastic containers, and bags, loading up my arms with things he keeps telling me I'll like but I highly doubt that. After he's done and I can't see past the mound of snacks I'm carrying he takes a seat on the floor, leaning against the shelves. As soon as he does, GIR runs over to make himself comfy on Zim's lap and I sit beside them.
"He has all the best snacks. Things that should only be available to the Tallests." Zim explains, taking everything out of my arms one at a time and setting them down in front of us.
"How'd he get it all if he isn't affiliated with them?" I inquire, adjusting myself as Minimoose parks himself right between us. It's hard to describe the feeling but… it's comfortable. Zim is practically vibrating with all the excitement he always gets when there's junk food involved, and GIR is of course in his element surrounded by snacks as well. And I'm finally feeling way less anxious around Minimoose. It actually seems like he kind of likes me more these days. It definitely took a while but this feeling I'm getting with all of us just sort of hanging out, eating Skoodge out of house and home, is like a warmth spreading through me. I place a cautious hand on top of Minimoose's head which he leans into and that makes me smile. I've definitely won him over. Maybe GIR put in a good word for me.
"He knows people who are affiliated with them. People who actually guard the snack pods on the Massive." He says as he continues sorting all the snacks into three different piles. GIR reaches up and opens his head, retrieving his portable viewer and setting it down in front of us.
"Let's watch the Doom show! It's my favorite!" He exclaims and Minimoose squeaks in response but I still have no idea what he's said. I'm starting to think only Zim and GIR can understand him.
"Sure GIR, sounds good." I reply, looking at the meticulous assemblage of snacks. The first pile, closest to me, consists of various colored bags of all different sizes but they're all round with plastic looking tabs on the top. The middle pile is a mix between small boxes and a few thin cardboard type rectangles and the last pile is made up of a bunch of cylindrical containers that look like they may be soda. "So even the people the Tallests trust the most, the ones they trust with their greatest possessions, steal from them?" I ask.
"Zim has nothing to do with that. All I know is, I'm eating this. Here." He says, cracking open one of the cans and passing it to me. It's bright pink and makes a loud hissing sound when it's opened. "That isn't Irken. It's from Meekrob. So it'll be bland. Just how you enjoy your snacks." He says, grabbing a different can that's striped purple and gray but doesn't make a sound when he opens it. He holds it out to me and smiles.
"Cheers to snacking like royals, then." I smile back, tapping his can with mine and then sipping my drink. He's right, it tastes like a regular earth soda only the acidity isn't so unbearable. It's lighter but the flavor is definitely something I cannot place. It's good, though. Oddly enough, the drink inside is clear but it tastes like bubblegum mixed with a type of fruit.
"You know, you still have to make me more candy." He says.
"Oh, do I?" I ask.
"Absolutely. You'll need to make it about every three months."
"I am almost positive you could scan it and make it yourself." I reply and he scoffs.
"Where's the fun in that? You do the work and I reap the reward. So, as I said, every few months."
"This isn't 'subscribe and save'. But okay, I can do that for you." I say back. "So… How do you know Tenn?"
"Who?" He asks.
"…Tenn…" I repeat but he's still giving me a blank stare. "The Irken who's currently flying your ship…"
"Oh! Tenn! We were in the academy together. Same time as Skoodge."
"So you're friends?"
"No." He replies simply.
"Well, speaking of the academy…" I start, shifting slightly under his gaze. "You told my dad you were thinking of studying abroad?"
"Eh? Oh, right! Zim did say that. Was that good?" He asks.
"It was fine. I guess I'm just wondering if it was true at all. Are you actually interested in that?" I ask and he sighs.
"I am… Not opposed to seeing more of your planet. If I'll be there longer, that is. I may not be. Everything is a little uncertain right now…" he replies, then hands me one of the flat cardboard looking packages which is only sporting the Irken logo on it. "Here. This is a million times better than those revolting candy units on earth." He says. I take it and then he picks up a round white bag, peeling the tab down and revealing what looks like potato chips.
"Is this chocolate?" I ask as I pick the box open and retrieve the snack from inside. It's lavender colored and super sparkly all over but other than that, it looks like a standard chocolate bar.
"Yes, basically. It's Vortian." He says in between bites of his food.
"Are those like potato chips?" I ask, breaking off a piece of the candy bar to try it. It reminds me of the time Foodio made frosted pumpkin cookies for me to take to school on Halloween.
"Sort of. Remember that Zentian nectar?" He asks.
"Ugh. I wish I could forget." I shiver at the memory of how awful that drink tastes which makes him laugh.
"Well don't worry, your pathetic taste buds won't remember the quality beverage for much longer. But this is essentially the same thing." He explains.
"Oh. So it's sweet? Not salty?"
"Of course." He replies, finishing them off and opening another bag.
"So you've got a favorite, then." I point out.
"I guess so." He says. We're just watching tv for a few minutes but there have been these nagging thoughts at the back of my mind for the past two weeks.
"I know I've asked you this a few times before. And maybe I'm going to keep asking until I get what I think is a real answer from you." I start. "What do you want? You know… out of uh… this?"
"Eh?" He asks, confused. I guess it was a little random, he's on my mind, not in it. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if he tricked me into wearing some kind of mind reader.
"I mean like a long term goal." I specify.
"Eh… Touché?" He asks.
"No, Zim. Stop that. I'm asking about your plans. You know, like for the future?"
"Besides to help the Tallests make the preventative solution?" He says in a tone like I should know that. I expected that answer.
"Yeah, besides that. I'm speaking longer term. You know, like how I'm going to get college over with but I'm still going to find a way to be a paranormal investor."
"I don't want to go to college. And I don't want any earth job." He replies.
"So we know what you don't want. But think about the future. What would make you happy?" I ask. He's thoughtful for a long moment but I allow him time to gather his thoughts, still resting my hand on Minimoose as I continue to eat my fancy chocolate bar.
"Power." He replies finally.
"Power?"
"Yes."
"What kind?" I ask.
"Any. All of it." He replies quickly. "A slave planet of my own, a high ranking position in OID3, you name it."
"You know, there are plenty of positions of power on earth. Without exactly making us slaves." I point out and he squints at me.
"You just want me to stay on earth forever." He smirks.
"Guilty." I shrug. "I also don't want my planet enslaved by my- uh…"
"Eh." He waves me off. "Your precious planet would be fine."
"And if you get a high ranking position in OID3 but it puts you on a completely different planet, what then?"
"Then we both get what we want, correct? I'm an elite and the earth stays free and inferior."
"Sort of… I wouldn't see you anymore though…" I reply quietly and he pauses eating to just stare at me hard. The look asks me why I would bring up such a difficult conversation at a time like this and I hope the look I give back says I don't when else to do it. "Would I?" I prompt. He shifts his gaze to the ceiling, then the floor. I guess I wouldn't know what to say if I were him either. If the Tallests are telling the truth about reversing his banishment and he does leave earth for good, he'd be happy, right? He'd be happy and the earth would be safe… "We have an expiration date, don't we?"
He doesn't reply and I'm not too sure if he was planning to or not but I mentally remind myself not to be so inconsiderate. I can't force him to always be where I want him to be or settle into some life he doesn't truly want. I- I can't keep him against his will… I shouldn't…
As long as he's happy, then I should be happy.
As long as he's happy, then I should be happy.
As long as he's happy, then I should be happy.
As long as he's happy, then I… I should be happy.
At this point, I think I would do anything for him but is that includes living without him...
Thank goodness my watch starts beeping at that moment. It startles both of us out of our reverie and I hold it up in front of me.
"Wait!" Zim says, covering it up so I can't answer. "You're in disguise." He reminds me.
"Crap. I forgot." I say, dragging a hand over my face. "Okay, it's fine." I say, connecting audio only. "Gaz?"
"Dib I- wait… Why is your camera off?" She asks.
"It um… It isn't working. I have to fix it… it's… What's wrong, are you okay?"
"Oooookay. Anyway, I'm going to send you a list of groceries. Have them delivered to the house tomorrow morning. Also, I'm having friends over Saturday. Schedule a pizza delivery."
"Wait a minute." I start and Zim is just watching curiously, still eating. GIR perks up a little at the sound of her voice. "Who's going to be there on saturday? Does dad know?"
"Does dad know where you are?" She asks and I sigh.
"Just send me the list." I say back.
"Hi LeeNee!" GIR calls out excitedly and I shoot Zim a confused look but he looks equally puzzled.
"…Hi GIR." Gaz replies and he giggles. "I'll send the list." She says.
"Alright." I reply and then she hangs up.
"Extortion." Zim comments.
"Is her middle name." I say back and he laughs.
After I get all of that sorted away, Zim helps me find cheese curls like the ones GIR was eating and we're all just enjoying our snacks for a while and half paying attention to the tv, commenting on what's playing here and there. The second episode finishes and the third one is loading up now.
"This might sound absurd but I'm still a bit in disbelief that I'm here with you. Like I don't know how many times it's going to hit me that I'm not on earth." I say before finishing off my second can of soda.
"Maybe there's no more room in your pitiful brain for any new information." He shrugs.
"How do you come up with your backhanded compliments so quickly? Teach me your ways." I reply and he just chuckles, shaking his head. "Seriously though, shouldn't we go back upstairs and keep Skoodge company?" I ask, finally starting to feel bad. "I mean he is sort of doing us a favor and we sort of left him alone."
"He's fine." Zim shrugs, stacking all the empty soda cans into a tower.
"Alright. Well I'll go keep him company. Alone. Just him and I." I say, standing and dusting off my uniform.
"That wasn't our agreement." Zim says, giving me a steely look.
"Whoops. Maybe my pitiful memory isn't serving me right." I reply with artificial shock as I back up towards the staircase. He narrows his eyes and scoops GIR up, sitting him down next to Minimoose, then walks over to me.
"You're saying you'd prefer Skoodge's company over mine?" He asks with a deceptive calmness.
"Never." I smirk, grabbing his hand and lacing our fingers. "Just want to push your buttons so you'll go with me."
"Manipulation… I like it. Very well, let's go." He replies, walking up before me and tugging me along. When we get back to the cockpit, Skoodge doesn't seem too bothered by the fact that we were gone.
"There you are!" He says cheerily as we both take our seats again. "We'll be there soon. Are you two alright?"
"We're fine. How is Tenn doing with my ship?" Zim asks.
"Oh, great. She said it's really updated, the Tallests really sent you the best." Skoodge muses and Zim shrugs disinterestedly.
"As they should." He replies and in response, Skoodge shoots me a sidelong look, raising a hairless brown, making me chuckle.
After about another hour of sitting in the cockpit, listening to Skoodge explain the OGI in more detail to a very curious Zim, he lets us know that we're landing. Zim sends me to get gir and Minimoose and then we're all waiting for Skoodge to give us directions.
"Alright. We can all breathe a little easier now. These are the dormitories." He says, opening the ship and extending the transport belt.
"Well no wonder Tenn had to take my ship elsewhere. This lot is pitiful." Zim says as we all step down onto the metal.
"It's off grid, Zim. We can't be huge and extravagant." Skoodge replies as he cloaks his ship and starts away from it.
The lot is deceptively empty looking and I assume every ship here is cloaked so as to not draw attention. There are small blue markers engraved in the ground probably to help people remember where they parked. When we reach some tall silver walls, Skoodge stops in front of what looks like a door and enters something into the sleeve of his right glove. I'm surprised when the door doesn't slide open but instead, the steel flooring directly in front of it disappears, presenting a staircase descending into darkness. For a moment I just watch Skoodge, Zim, and Minimoose disappear and GIR tugs on my arm.
"This is where the dancing weenies live!" He says excitedly but I haven't budged. I'm just staring into the oversized deep pinkish-red sun, surrounded by fluffy pink cotton candy clouds. This area of Irk is so desolate. There's absolutely no sign of all those buildings Zim told me about and this 50 foot steel wall that separates the parking lot from the dorms doesn't even let me see what those look like since apparently you don't even need to walk through them to get to the OGI quarters.
Even though the sun is nice looking, a chill runs through me as I look between the dark doorway and around the deserted lot. Something just feels wrong. I know it's likely just my anxiety talking but I still can't really convince myself of that enough to stop the knot from forming in my stomach. I wanted to be here. I still do. I want to learn more about Irk and definitely more about the OGI but ever since we got here, I haven't been able to shake this ominous feeling, maybe it just has to do with what I know about Irk. What else could a planet full of cold blooded murderers feel like? Cold, empty, completely lacking in everything that makes earth… well, earth. There's no water, no life. No friendships, relationships, families, etc. I haven't seen a single stray animal or insect since we got here. There aren't even any plants growing naturally anywhere. So this is what it's like to be on a planet completely devoid of love. Scratch that. This is what it's like where no one is worthy of it with the exception of two people and those two people value no one… Now there are some Irkens I could see on an autopsy table.
The knot in my stomach melts away seamlessly when I feel someone take my hand and I finally tear my eyes away from the pink sky and see it's Zim. GIR is hanging onto him from behind, arms wrapped around his neck but he doesn't seem to mind.
"There's not much to see out here." He says, gaze shifting up where my own was.
"Right… I just can't believe there's really nothing here." I reply.
"There's plenty. Just not here exactly… But get your fill because once you get underground, you won't be back out until it's time to go back to earth." He says and I snap my eyes to him.
"Wait what?"
"You really wish to go wandering around? When you can clearly see that no Irken does that?" He asks.
"I can't even stand outside? Like right here?" Trapped underground? That sounds like prison, even if it is just for a couple of months. He sighs, letting my hand go and placing both of his up on my shoulders.
"Stop freaking out." He says firmly.
"I'm not f-"
"Yes you are. You're experiencing heart palpitations. I just want to remind you that, as I previously stated, there are no hospitals here." He says, moving one hand to my chest.
He's right. Even if there were hospitals here, they wouldn't even know what to do with a human. If I needed a doctor right now, he'd be the closest thing to it and I do not know if I like those odds so I'll try to calm down. How could I completely forget that? Two months? Two entire months? If anything happens here…
"Seriously, Dib-Thing, what is your issue?" He asks, squinting an eye at me.
"Nothing…" I lie, mostly because my mouth is drying up and I'm starting to feel that pressure in the center of my chest. None of my deep breaths travel to my lungs the way I need it to and just thinking about the fact that there are no oxygen producing plants here of course serves to exacerbate my increasing panic.
He just stares at my eyes for a moment then reaches around and pulls GIR off of him, setting him down on the ground.
"GIR, go find Minimoose." He says and GIR salutes before wandering through the opening in the ground.
"Zim knows how to get you over your annoying shmoop." He states, crossing his arms.
"I'm not-"
"And I won't warn you again about lying to me." He glares.
"Okay. How then?" I sigh, feeling a little dizzy. His glare is replaced with a wide minacious grin.
"You have to come downstairs." He says, motioning to the opening. I glance down into the dark then look up at the sun one more time.
"Okay." I repeat. At this point, I'm feeling pretty faint and I just need somewhere to lay down until my anxiety attack runs its course. Even if it's a cold underground metal jail cell which is what I'm fully expecting. Do Irkens need sunlight? Probably not. They barely even need light at all. I'm going to be in the dark, in the cold, for a month. I clearly didn't think this through. All this because I just wanted to be with him- to be near him. I hear Zim inhale sharply then huff out a breath and when I look at him, he's looking down at the ground. He takes another breath before straightening up, his expression turning serious, and offering out a hand again. I take it quickly and despite how I'm feeling at the moment, I feel a small smile tug at my mouth and one of my deep breaths finally satisfies my lungs.
We descend the metal steps and once we get to the bottom - there had to be over a hundred steps - my contacts adjust to the lighting and I can see the hallways illuminated in that familiar blue glow. Behind me, Zim is typing into some controls on the wall next to the staircase and in front of me is a very very long hallway with rows of doors on both sides. There's a similar hallway both to my left and to my right and I'm starting to wonder just how many Irkens are living Offgrid.
"Skoodge gave you access to the controls?" I ask and he nods. "Already?!"
"Of course." He says, finally finishing up and thick silver bars slide shut in front of the staircase. It's eerily quiet which is odd as I wonder what Offgrid Irkens do all day. We're walking down the hallway in front of where we came in and every door looks exactly like the last.
"Are these people's rooms?" I ask.
"Yes."
"How big is the OGI?"
"It's pretty extensive. They're actually almost at full capacity and have begun excursions further underground."
"They're running out of space?"
"Yes." He replies. How long could this demographic last living in the shadows like this? The Tallests must really be full of themselves to not suspect an entire community living right under their noses… Even though they don't even have noses.
Once we reach the end of the hallway, there are two more on either side of us but in front of us is another set of stairs and Zim proceeds down.
"Jeez, more steps? Eventually we'll be walking out on the other side of the planet!"
"It seems that way but we'll be at your dorm soon." He replies.
"So where is everybody?" I ask, following behind him on the narrow staircase.
"All over the place, I guess."
"They're so quiet."
"Dib. They're living in hiding."
"Right right." I say back.
"Skoodge resides on the top floor along with specially trained Irkens he has as a defense team. The second level is for everyone else and the third level is where people can go to eat, for PAK repair, training, schooling, all that good stuff. The fourth level is where supplies are kept. Weapons, snacks, clothing, things like that."
"Four levels?! How long have they been here!?"
"Not very. That's what concerns Skoodge the most. He's only been here for about seven earth years which is less than a year. People were already here but they weren't doing so well at surviving until he got here. And the quantity is on a steady increase." He explains and I just nod. Were all these Irkens really discarded by the Empire? Why?
When we finally reach the bottom of the steps, we start down another hallway to our left but only get a few feet before he stops in front of a door. It's the same cold silver as all the others we've passed by with an Irken number 427 on it.
"This is us." He says, tapping the wall next to the door and a keypad is revealed when a panel slides up. He enters a code and I hear a click before the door slides up.
"Should I know that code?" I ask when he steps aside and motions for me to go first.
"Nope. Because you won't be leaving this room." He says, following after me and the door slides down after us. I'm prepared to argue with him about it but I stop to take in the room. The walls are white and it's completely windowless. Off to the left is a small, square, crystal looking table with four matching chairs pushed under it. To the right there's a door that's painted black and a door that's painted green and to the far corner, a couch that closely resembles the one at his base on earth. That's where gir and Minimoose are seated watching something on the portable viewer. Other than that, it's pretty vacant.
"Black door is yours." He points. "Green is GIR and Minimoose."
"You're joking. You have no room? Again?"
"I don't need one… I won't be here much." He mumbles, walking over to the black door but I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.
"Wait what? You're not staying here?" I ask and he sighs, looking off to the side.
"The Tallests would like for me to stay on the Massive during their research…"
"You've got to be kidding me." I say back, rolling my eyes. "So I can't leave this room, and you won't be here at all?!"
"The research and development isn't going to take very long. And you do have company. GIR and Minimoose are here."
"Not the kind of company I was hoping for." I mumble.
"Look." He huffs. "I'll come back here when I can. Don't get all shmoopy."
"Alright." I reply, shaking my head. "Just open the door."
"Okay." He replies, pressing a finger to the round white pad in the center of the door. The doorknob folds inwards and the door retracts to the left revealing a room shrouded in darkness. He steps inside so I follow and the door shuts. "The light switch is behind you." He says as my eyes are starting to adjust but I turn around and hit the switch anyway.
"Oh…" I breathe looking around the room.
It's… It's my room.
No, really. It's my room from earth. Same three round windows with the blinds shut, the same bed with the black constellation covered comforter. The only thing missing is the mess of posters on the walls but even the stars are projected on the ceiling and my rug is here too. "Is this stuff…" I start to ask, walking over to the desk and computer chair. There's no computer though. "Is this my stuff?"
"It is not."
"Then how…" I start to ask again but something catches my attention near the windows and I cross over to them, lifting the blinds of the window in the middle. When I look out of it I'm shocked to see my street! My lawn, the earth's sky, and the moon. "What is going on here?" I whisper, still staring at the stars twinkling in and out.
"The windows are set up with a holographic projection of your street in real time. Is it… to your liking?" He asks, still standing by the door.
"How did you do all this?" I ask, watching a couple of cars speed down my street. It's odd to be able to see it so clearly and not hear it.
"It was easy. Especially since Skoodge helped. But I did most of the work. It's meant to calm down your anxiety feelings. Does it work?" He inquires.
"Yes but… You expected me to have anxiety about this?"
"Well this is not your planet and you're the only human in this part of space, currently. I didn't expect your brain to take it lightly." He says back, finally walking over to the window.
"You understand it more than I thought you did…" I whisper, watching a bird fly by my window. He starts talking about a computer attachment he made that should help my computer connect to the Irken network which is similar to the internet.
"It should keep you occupied along with your portable viewer. And of course GIR." He says, looking out the window. "Those things may not be quite as entertaining as your earth cryptids, though."
"There are no cryptids. If you think about it, the definition of cryptid includes the thought that it's possible such beings do not exist. So really, the people who use the word are the same people who refuse to see the truth." I shrug. "I mean, I could say I'm surrounded by cryptids right now but you all literally exist."
"Unless you're just that crazy." He replies.
"Honestly, I wouldn't even be surprised if you're all in my mind."
"We both already know how warped your mind is. After the things I've seen there, there's no way Zim would be created there." He says and I just laugh. I could actually be fully convinced that I'm on earth right now, looking out my bedroom window.
"As much as I hate to feed that ego of yours…" I start and he turns my way. "You're really awesome." I'm expecting him to be annoying and say something like of course or tell me how inferior I am and I'm already prepared to scoff but the douchebag reply doesn't come.
"Oh…" he says, gaze shifting back to the passing cars as he becomes pensive again. "I have to leave, now." He says, straightening his posture and starting for the door.
"Right… Hold on, since this is my room, do I still need to wear my disguise?"
"No, that isn't necessary. As long as you don't leave your dormitory you don't have to wear it. And I will know if you do."
"I mean if I want company from someone other than GIR-"
"Then I'll come back and break your legs."
"So all I have to do is leave the room and you'll come back?" I ask.
"If that is what you want to take away from what I said, sure." He says, placing a hand on the doorknob and the knot in my stomach comes back full force.
"Wait!" I exclaim, walking away from the window and he squints at me with one antenna perked. "This is kind of a weird question but can I hug you?" Is it really a weird question? It feels like it is but maybe humans should normalize it. I don't really actually think there is anyone I enjoy hugging aside from Zim. Maybe GIR. I have to ask though because… I just- I have a bad feeling about the Tallests and if I had it my way I'd keep him right here with me. But I keep reminding myself that Zim has very much proven that he trusts me so I have to trust that he knows what he's doing.
"I would really rather you didn't right now." He replies quickly, averting his eyes.
"Okay… Are you ever going to talk to me about this?"
"There isn't anything to talk about." He says harshly.
There really is.
I'm getting insane whiplash from all the mixed signals I receive from him. It's so back and forth. Sometimes affection seems okay and sometimes it doesn't, I can't tell the difference between when it's okay and when it isn't, and I can't start to form any hypotheses until he tells me what is going on. Even if he says the last thing I want to hear, which is that Irkens are programmed to physically reject affection in which case I have no idea how we would work past that or why he even wants to. Or… is that really the last thing I want to hear? If I had to choose between the lesser of two evils… which would hurt me the least? If he were physically programmed to reject me or if he really just was repulsed by me? It's not very far-fetched. What if he's doing this whole situationship thing just because he knows it's what I want? Maybe he likes being friends with me, likes that we are closer now, but just isn't attracted to what I look like. He's already existed for decades before even knowing what humans looked like, and if you let him tell it, we all look pretty weird. But, on the other hand, I didn't know what Irkens looked like until about eight years ago and I still manage to find him pretty damn attractive now. Not necessarily because of what he looks like, I mean much to his dismay they all do look pretty similar to me, my attraction to him just isn't surface level. It's about who he is. Things I swear I used to absolutely hate about him have become things that make me smile when I think about it. His pretty unfounded egotistical side, his determination to always get whatever he wants, even that ear-grating excessive laughter makes me laugh now, too. And not only did those things become things I look forward to, but as we became closer, I discovered other parts of him that I really like, too. All these years I was completely overlooking the fact that he is insanely intelligent. Coupled with his still pretty apparent ignorance of earth life in general, his weird mad scientist vibe is something I have grown attached to. And I might never tell him this, might never tell anyone else this, but as unbelievable as it might be, these past couple of years I've seen more and more of his thoughtful side. Almost caring. Of course everything is done in his own Zim way, which I've gotten pretty used to, but when he cares, it shows. How he cares for GIR. How he looks after Minimoose. Even his extreme attempts at looking after me, as possessive and overbearing as it may come across, show me that he cares. All these puzzle pieces fit together to create someone I find appealing and I think that no matter what he looks like, as long as he embodies all of these personality traits, I'll still be attracted to him.
"How about why you just told me I can't hug you?" I reply patiently.
"Because it's unnecessary and…"
"And what?" I ask as he stares down at the carpet.
"It's difficult." He decides.
"Is it difficult because you aren't supposed to be doing it? Is there something about the way that you're made?" I ask and he shakes his head.
"It isn't about my genetics or anything like that, I'm perfect!" he hisses, glancing at me for a moment to glare my way but looking away again, "It's…" He tries and for a split second he looks… sad. But it's gone just as quickly as it appeared. "We aren't talking about it. The Tallests are expecting me." Then he leaves promptly.