A/N: EDIT: Flames will be flames I suppose. Can't we all just get along? T_T

Well, I've started playing Genshin Impact recently. HALP.

Before you read any further, a question!

Should I update an actual story today? Seriously, need to hear from you guys and gals here, because I'm stuck.

I'm asking because "Just a Dust Shop" is nearly read. Alas, its a holiday over here, and I'm afraid no one will see it, or worse, simply won't care...look what happened to Killing Monsters T_T

As ever I own no references, quotes, themes or memes. Not a wit or one. They are simply tributes.

Really, I've made that abundantly clear.

"Why do all of you have these problems?! Right that does it! I'm fixing Remnant."

"And how do you plan to do that? Even for you such a task would be...

"How else?! Clearly you all need therapy. One patient at a time."

"That'll never work. You can't simply sway everyone...!"

"Clearly you've never experienced the Talk no Jutsu."

"I can see there's no dissuading you from this."

"Nope! I know just where to start...

~A Debate.

Therapy

"Free Therapy? All are welcome...?"

Roman considered the sign before him as one might a viper.

This was a trap. It must be a trap. To even consider otherwise was absurd...wasn't it?

To be fair, the corner shop was a humble little abode -located just shy of Tukson's Book Trade- so one wouldn't think much of it at a glance. Really, it was just the sort he might've broken into back in the day if nothing else; all red bricks set against orange paint and plaster, with a bright amber-colored door. Just looking at it offended his sensibilities. He looked up. Frowned. Why was the roof blue?! He shuddered to think what the interior must look like. Clearly whomever designed this building must've been on meth.

He wasn't even sure how he'd found himself here in the first place.

No, wait. Now he remembered.

He'd gone for a walk.

Really, it was a very enthusiastic walk...one that had begun with robbing a dust shop and ended with him fleeing from a little girl. Running away with his tail between his legs was embarrassing enough, but without any Dust? Cinder had thrashed him seven ways to sunday and thrown him out into the night. He wasn't to return without Dust.

Somehow, someway, somewhere, his legs had carried him here.

Roman looked left.

Roman looked right, now.

Roman looked left again, just to be sure.

Only when he was certain that no one was watching him did he dare step forward. Surely there was no harm in this. Cinder was riding his arse, Adam was dick, and Neo couldn't speak a word. Maybe this would help mend his mangled pride. Surely there was nothing wrong with venting a little. And the sign did say all were welcome. It wasn't as if he had anything to fear from a simple therapist.

Tentatively, he nudged the door open with his cane.

A faint bell chimed above it as the wooden frame creaked open.

"Huh." he muttered to himself. "Place is bigger on the inside. That's a thing...

He encountered a desk further in, and a secretary behind it.

Wait. Did a secretary wear a kimono? Because this one did. She was A lovely young woman with dark purple hair tied into a long braid. Her eyes were the brightest violet, almost seeming to glow in the dim light. Idly, he noticed a beauty mark under her right eye alongside the faintest red eyeliner. She wore it well. Now if only she'd stop glaring daggers at him.

Her eyes were stern eternity itself. "Do you have an appointment?"

Beneath that unyielding gaze, Torchwick twitched a little. "Well, the sign said...

She rose from her seat. The air crackled around her with the promise of pain. "Do you. Have. An appointment?"

"Don't mind her!" A young man's voice echoed from the upper parlor. "Make yourself comfortable! I'll be with you in a second!"

Turns out the words were literal; scarce had he spoke than someone careened around the corner at speed.

He was a decidedly average looking fellow in orange-and-red oriental garb, all blond hair, blue eyes, and whiskered cheeks. Bit of Faunus heritage there, perhaps? He supposed it didn't matter. This was just a one-off a quick chance to vent, then he was gone. No need to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Sorry about Ei." the young man sighed. "She can be a bit stern at times but she's a good girl. In any case!" he offered his hand. "I'm Naruto. Nice to meet you."

Roman accepted with, frowning a little at the strength in his grip. He could feel the callouses there. Not a simple therapist, then.

"Father, I must protest." His secretary -or was she a bodyguard?- raised her voice at that. "...this man is a criminal."

"And?" the blond arched a brow. "We take all kinds here. Be nice, Baal."

Roman blinked. "Thought you said her name was Ei."

Naruto shrugged. "Its...complicated."

The woman huffed and flounced back into her seat. It was a clear a dismissal as anything.

"Alright, if you'll just follow me, we can start your first session...

"Tch." Against his better judgement, Roman followed Naruto. "Look pal, this is just a one time deal. I ain't coming back.

A merry blue eye peeked at him over one shoulder. "That's what they all say...

Roman had no idea what he was walking into.

More fool he.

A/N: So? Should this be a story?

By all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Still, Hope this made you smile. I'm in a bit of a funk at the moment. As stated, the my doctor's ordered me to a full day of bed rest and I'm going MAD. Hearing from you guys and gals would make my day a lot better...

So In The Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly? It keeps me alive.

No previews or potential ideas this time. Not writing 'em unless folks want to see them.

...fine, just a few. Hopefully people enjoy them, its hard to tell anymore.

And yes, each is a separate idea. Some are even stories!

(Preview!)

"Let me see your weapon for a second," Tenten cooed. "Just a little, just a touch...!"

Her victim recoiled "I need an adult!"

Her grin grew. "I am an adult!"

"NONE OF THAT!" Naruto thumped her on the back of the head, allowing the poor boy to escape. "Make your own!"

"Fiiiiine." she subsided with a scowl. "You haven't let me have any fun since Kaguya stranded us here. Smithing is hell, I tell you!"

Naruto shrugged. "Can't go to hell if we're already there."

...fair enough."

"Huh. Naruto can dance. Who knew."

"She's adorable! So tiny! So small! Can we keep her?!"

"HEY!"

R&R~!