I'm assaulted by the smell of more cheese buns when I enter through the back of the bakery. Dad is at the counter, kneading dough with his flour covered apron on. He turns at the sound of the door opening and a smile takes over his face.
"How was hunting, little songbird?" I go over to give him a hug from behind since his hands are currently occupied. "Looks like it went well."
I nod. "I took down a buck," I tell him just as mom comes into the back with a broom.
"A buck? Nice one," she kisses the top of my head.
"Where's my kiss?" Dad pouts.
Mom shakes her head at him with a smile, giving him a kiss on the cheek too. Satisfied, he goes back to kneading his dough.
"Bakery is opening soon. Can you and Dani help out today?" Mom asks.
"Yeah." I never mind helping out at the bakery. Dani is friendly enough for the both of us so she can help them out in the front while I watch her and use the cash register. "I'm just gonna go put this in the icebox. Mom, can you take the antler and the hide sometime to the Hob?" She's much better at haggling than I am."
She smiles. "I'll take Papa with me too. I think they like him better," she rolls her eyes.
Dani and I play little games at the front of the bakery and people watch in between customers. She asks me to tell her stories about the woods and I describe the trees and the flowers that grow there. Dani refuses to go out there but I draw her pictures sometimes so she can get an idea of what they look like.
Dad makes us sandwiches for lunch and Dani and I eat together in the back while Mom and Dad take over the front.
"Do you think Mr. Abernathy will let me see the geese the next time we go?" Dani asks, taking a bite of her sandwich.
"Maybe little duck," I brush some crumbs off the front of her shirt.
"Hmm," she answers through her food. She then tilts her head, the way she does when she is thinking about something. "Did Papa help you carry the buck to Uncle Rye?"
I choke on the bite I had in my mouth and try to wash it down with some water. I consider lying to her but I can't. I've never been able to really lie to Dani.
"No. A boy I ran into in the woods helped me."
"A boy?" She squeals, bouncing in her chair. "Is he your boyfriend?"
"No!" I shout a little too loud. I wait a second to make sure Mom and Dad won't come in to check on us. "He's just a boy. Not even a friend."
"Oh," she looked sad, sticking her bottom lip out. "Do you think I'll find a boyfriend?"
I try to hold in my laughter to her innocent question. "Why do you want a boyfriend, little duck?"
"Because Daddy said he was Mommy's boyfriend and then they got married so I can't get married if I don't have a boyfriend."
I pretend to think her dilemma through. "Well, he also said you can't have a boyfriend until you're 30 so you still have plenty of time."
She nods. "You're right." Then she goes right back to eating her sandwich like nothing happened. She seems to be right back to her normal self after the announcement this morning so I was relieved.
The next two months go by a lot faster than I expected. Between school coming to an end, hunting in the woods, and helping out at the bakery, I've barely even found time to be able to sketch. Dani's gone with me every week to deliver bread to Mr. Abernathy and he's always there to greet us, although I don't let Dani go out into the backyard anymore after one of his stupid geese tried to bite her. I haven't run into Sawyer again in the woods since that first time, and maybe I've just been avoiding him. He smiles and waves at me at school and sometimes I smile back but I see the way his friends tease him and the other merchant kids make fun of him so I try to stay out of his sight. I don't want to be the reason he has to deal with all that when he's just trying to be nice to me. But sometimes I'll leave an extra squirrel or rabbit in his snare traps so he always has something to take home. It's not much and if he knew I was the one leaving them there he'd probably leave it there but so far they've been gone every time.
A week after school lets out is the reaping ceremony. Everyone's on edge and I can't sleep all night, tossing and turning. It's Dani's first year and I'm terrified. I get up extra early to see Mom and Dad comforting each other in the living room.
"You're up early," Mom comments.
"Couldn't sleep. I was just going to hunt early."
They both look at each other for a second, something secret passing between them.
"Be back soon, alright? We're all going to Uncle Grahams for lunch. And grab something to eat with you. I made cinnamon buns," Dad says.
"I won't be long," I promise, packing a couple in my game bag before slipping out the door, but not before I hear my mom softly crying into Dad's shoulder.
The nerves don't leave my body the entire walk over. The air is cool and the entire district is dark. I'm sure the town will be empty today until the afternoon. Nobody really leaves their houses the day of. Spending time with their families. Once the reaping is over, everyone usually has some kind of celebration. Even the families in the seam scrap together a nice meal. All expect two unlucky families.
I can't even focus on trying to catch anything so eventually I give up, instead opting to climb a tree to try to hide from the rest of the world. It was so much more peaceful in the leaves and everything seems much more far away.
"Mind if I join you up there?" A voice comes from below me and I'm so startled, I almost fall out. I grip the trunk for support and look down.
Sawyer is standing at the base of the tree. Squinting his eyes to try to spot me better.
"Can you climb up here?" I ask. I know neither Dad or Papa are particular good at climbing because they're so tall and the branches will snap under their weight.
"No, not really, he admits. "So maybe you'd be willing to come down?" He asks. His voice seems a little nervous and I don't know if it's because we haven't talked in weeks or because of what today will hold.
I consider staying up here for a moment. I'm sure he would eventually give up and go away. But a part of me didn't want that. I wanted to talk to someone who was just as nervous as I am. For some reason the prospect of talking to him feels easier than telling Mom or Dad. I don't want them to worry more than they are.
I slowly climb down, jumping the last couple feet. I squat down to sit against the tree and he joins me.
"Long time no see," Sawyer glances over at me.
I shrug, not really having an explanation. Instead I pull the cinnamon rolls from my fake bag and hand one to him. "Consider it like a last meal." I tell him so he'll actually accept it.
He studies the pastry, looking at it as if he's never seen anything like it before and takes a bite. His eyes widen in wonder and he gets right to work on eating the rest, savoring each bite.
"My snares have been doing pretty well recently," he informs me. "Dad says we can have one of the rabbits tonight."
I hide my smile behind my own roll, making a noncommittal sound.
"How many times are you in?" He asks.
Every year starting from the age of twelve until you're 18, each child's name is placed in the reaping bowl one more time. You can take out tesserae for each member of your family for a year's worth of grain in exchange for entering your name more times.
"Four." Just one for every year I've been eligible. "You?"
He gives me a mirthless smile. "16. Dad tried to stop me from taking it out the second I turned twelve but I knew I had too. I wasn't going to sit back and watch my family suffer when I could do something."
His response makes me realize how truly lucky I am.
"But hey," he elbows me, snapping me out of my own thoughts. "Maybe the odds will be 'ever in my favor,'" he mimicked in that posh Capitol accent.
I roll my eyes. Our district escort who announces the games every year for as long as I can remember is a little older than my parents but still never fails to try to make the reaping seem like the most exciting event ever.
" I need to get back before my sister wakes up." The sun is starting to rise and I want to be there since she's been so jittery these past couple of days.
"Yeah, Ma wants us all to spend time together before the afternoon."
We split ways once we're past the fence, and I walk as quickly as I can through the empty streets. When I get home, Mom and Dad are in the downstairs bakery, wrapping up a few of the older items to take to Uncle Grahams. When I get up to the room I share with Dani, I sit on my bed, watching her sleeping peacefully with a smile on her face. I look around the room, spotting a new sketch Dad must have snuck in here. Our walls were gray like all the other ones in the house but littered with sketches, some mine, some Dani's but mostly Dad's. This new one was a drawing of all of us in the meadow when Dani was just a baby. Mom is holding her, all bundled up, watching Dad and I play in the tall grass.
A scream from across the room pulls my attention away from studying the drawings. Dani is thrashing around in her bed, whimpering, tears streaming down her face. I fly over, shaking her shoulders.
"Wake up, little duck. It's just a bad dream." I try to stop her wrists from hitting her own face.
Her eyes pop open and she throws herself against me, wrapping her thin arms around my neck so tightly I'm struggling to breathe.
I shush her, pushing her hair away from her face. "It's just a dream, Dani."
"It was you," she tells me, her voice small. I hug her tighter. I suppose it makes sense she would be worried about me and not herself. She's had to watch me join the group of kids being reaped for the last three years while she stayed with our parents in the back. I don't think she fully realizes that she's included this year.
"It's going to be okay. You're not going to the Hunger Games."
"Promise?" She looks up at me with tear-filled gray eyes.
"Promise," I confirm. "Hey, you know what? I have something for you."
That brings some of the sparkle back in her eyes. "You got me a present?"
"Uh-huh." I reach into the jacket of my pocket for the bracelet I've been carrying around since I bought it at the Hob. "Hold out your arm."
Dani does exactly that and I clip the bracelet around her wrist on the tightest loop which even seems a little loose. She beams, bringing it up to examine it.
"It's so pretty."
I pull her into my lap and we both sit on her bed. "It's a little duck and a little songbird. No matter what happens, you'll be safe because the little duck has the little songbird watching over it."
"I love it," she turns to hug me.
"Now come on," I lift her up and stand both of us on the ground. "Let's get you dressed."
We both have dresses that we wear just for the reaping, something that is nicer than all of our other clothes. Dani is wearing my old reaping dress, a pale white one that stops at her knees, while I've grown into Mom's old one she used to wear to her reapings when she was my age. It was blue and reached down to my mid calf, buttoning in the front.
"You two look lovely," Mom's voice comes in from the doorway. She's leaning against it, watching me help Dani button the back of her dress.
"Will you braid my hair?" I ask. I don't usually ask her to, but at least once a year, on reaping day, I can always count on her to do it for me. I think she likes doing it, singing to us as she weaves our hair into intricate patterns.
"Mine too!" Dani pipes up.
Mom sits on my bed and Dani sits in front of her on the floor, going first. Mom's hands move swiftly through her long hair, making two braids that sit on either side of her shoulders. She sings one of the songs Papa taught her as she does so.
She finished up Dani's hair and I take her place, relaxing against her knees, closing my eyes and letting myself take in her soft singing.
"What do you think?" She asks, gently nudging my shoulder. She grabs a small mirror from my bedside and hands it to me. She's braided both sides of my hair into a low updo in the back.
"I love it. Thank you," I look up at her. She stands up, helping me up, kissing my forehead before doing the same to Dani. We all walk out to the living room, where dad is waiting. Reaping day is always emotional, especially so for our parents.
"You two look beautiful," Dad tells us. "Just like your mother," he winks at Mom.
We spend the morning together before heading over to Uncle Graham's house for a big family lunch. Everyone is there including Grandpa, Papa, and Nana. Usually, when we all get together, it's loud and chaotic, the kids playing in the backyard and the adults talking at the dining table, but today, the younger kids are being a lot more clingy with their parents. Only a few of us are eligible for the reaping this year. None of Uncle Rye and Aunt Delly's children were eligible but two of Uncle Graham and Aunt Madge's were. Oliver was thirteen and Madeleine was twelve, the same age as Dani. Their younger sister Charlotte was eight so she still had a few years to go. Aunt Prim and Uncle Thom's two kids were six and seven but they seemed to feed off of everyone else's energy. Oliver and I are the only ones who have been through the reaping before so we knew what to expect, but it doesn't make it any easier, Oliver refuses to leave his Mom's side and Uncle Graham has had Madeleine on his lap the entire meal. Dani fiddles with the bracelet I got her and Tilly keeps asking everyone why they look sad. Grandpa and Papa try to lighten the mood every year with embarrassing childhood stories about our parents, but they haven't been successful in the past few years we've been having these lunches.
When it's finally time, we all walk over together. I'm holding Mom's hand, tighter than I meant to, while Dani clings to Dad. Mom squeezes my hand once we see the table to check in. A lot of the other kids are already lined up by age, waiting to be checked in.
Mom pulls me into a hug and I wrap my arms around her, clutching her to me. I would never admit to them how scared I am, especially with Dani here, but I think she can tell. Dad releases Dani and grabs me next.
"We'll see you right after, okay?" He tells me. I nod, breathing in the smell of cinnamon I've come to associate with Dad.
"Come on, Dani." I grab my sister's hand. Our cousins have already gone in line. We wave to my parents who go to join the others in the back.
I walk her over to the closest line. "Okay, little duck. You're just going to wait in line for them to check you in. They're going to prick your finger and take a little blood but you have to hold really still."
"Is it going to hurt?"
I shake my head. "It's just a quick pinch. No big deal. We all have to do it." I squeeze her hand harder. "After that just follow the other twelve year olds to the front where you stand with the girls during the reaping. I'll come find you afterwards to take you to Mom and Dad."
"You'll come get me right away?" She looks at me with her big gray eyes.
"Right away," I kiss the top of her head and leave her in line, walking a little further down to the fifteen year olds line. There aren't that many kids in the district but it still takes a while for me to move to the front of the line. I try to keep an eye on Dani the entire time. She's talking to the girl in front of her who I recognize as one of her classmates.
"Next!" The peacekeeper grabs my hand, stabbing it with his device, but I'm so distracted I barely feel it. He calls for the next person and I move straight to the crowd of girls lining up in rows in the reaping sections. I go up on my toes and try to see up in the front where Dani is standing. I look behind me to where the parents are and spot Mom and Dad hear the front, huddled together, trying to spot us. Dad waves and Mom gives me a tight smile when they spot me.
I can tell some of the kids, even the older ones, are trying not to cry. We're all clearly anxious, shaking hands and tapping toes, waiting for everyone to take their spots so we can get this over with. Soon the square is so packed we're all squished together like sardines.
A silence falls over the crowd as Mr. Abernathy walks up on the stage. He sways a bit, clearly drunk, falling into his seat next to the Mayor. The clock strikes twelve and we know it's time. The Mayor, Aunt Madge's father, speaks first, briefly explaining the history of Panem, the Dark Days that ultimately led to the creation of the Hunger Games as a reminder of the power the Capitol holds and as a sign of repentance from the districts in offering up their children to be slaughtered. He doesn't exactly say it in those words but he might as well.
The Capitol had turned the games into a spectacle, with the winning tribute being awarded riches beyond their wildest dreams as well as more food and supplies for their own district. He then reads the names of the previous district twelve victors. There have only ever been two and only one is alive and currently very very drunk on the stage. We don't dare to hope for more anytime soon.
This is where his speech starts to diverge from all the other years. He starts to introduce the Quarter Quell, to mark every 25th anniversary of the rebellion's defeat. For the first Quarter Quell, the 25th games, the districts voted on their tributes. I couldn't imagine choosing somebody else that I might know and sending them to their death, and still having to see their family members around town. For the second Quarter Quell, each district provided twice as many tributes for the games. That was the year Mr. Abernathy won. For the third Quarter Quell, the tributes were drawn from the pool of 19 year olds, to show that the Capital can choose at any point to change the age and offer no reprieve from the game but have taken mercy on the districts by ending the reaping at 18. And now onto the 4th Quarter Quell, in which the Capitol citizens will get to vote on which two tributes should enter the games from each district out of the four that will be reaped. Two boys and Two girls will be reaped from each district to participate in different festivities ranging from interviews to a skill showcase in a weeklong broadcasted show. At the end, the Capitol citizens can cast their votes and the winning boy and girl tribute from the votes will commence training for the Hunger Games as usual. The Mayor doesn't mention what happens to the reaped tributes who are not chosen by the Capitol but I don't imagine it to be anything good.
A woman with bright pink hair and a painted on face, indicative of the Capitol, takes the stage. Effie Trinket has been introducing the games since Mom and Dad were still in the reaping and it doesn't seem her outfit gets any less extravagant every year. Her matching pink outfit sticks out to the side like wings and I can't help but wonder how she walks in those heels. She shuffles up to the mic, large glass bowls full with slips of names on either side of her.
She taps the mic, leaning farther into it. "And now for the tributes. May the odds be ever in your favor!" She trolls out in that over the top Capitol accent. I wonder if she talks like that all the time.
"First, the girls." She reached her hand into the bowl on the right. She swirls it around for a few seconds before grabbing a name and pulling it out. I don't know if the girl next to me can hear my heart beating but it's pounding in my ears. The fate of someone's life is literally in this Capitol lady's hands. She doesn't care that she's picking someone to die. In fact it's probably the most exciting thing she gets to do all year.
Effie Trinket opens the slip of paper and I hold my breath. "Etheria Garnmeade."
There's a quiet murmur among the crowd as a small merchant girl from the thirteen year olds shuffle forward. She starts crying as soon as her name is called and doesn't stop even when she reaches the stage.
"Any volunteers for Etheria Garnmeade?" Effie asks but is met with silence. I knew she had a couple siblings but if they were of reaping age, they were staying silent. With the reality that she would be a tribute setting in, Etheria cries harder.
"Oh dear." Effie looks beside herself, sticky patting the girl on the head and shifting her to the side to draw another name from the girl's bowl.
I let out the breath I had been holding, ready to go home. I was so distracted by my relief that my name wasn't called that I wasn't paying attention as she opens and gets ready to call out the next name.
Which is why I'm completely caught off guard when the last name I wanted to hear is announced.
"Dandelion Mellark."