The next morning it feels like any and all traces of the 24 eliminated tributes are gone. There's no sign of them anywhere and nobody seems to dare mention them. I was exhausted, not able to sleep very well from my nightmares, resorting to sketching Etheria and Hops in the early hours of dawn. I didn't want to forget their faces and drawing them with a smile, or in Hops case, a content look, helped a bit. Remembering them happy helped.
Right after breakfast we're back at the training center where we showed off our skills, only this time, we'll be given the rest of the week to train and learn new things that might help us in the arena.
"Don't show off your skills. Learn something new," Haymitch tells us on the way over. Sawyer and I agreed that he would mentor us together instead of separately. Hopefully it would give us both more time to take in everything Haymitch had to offer us.
"But they already know what we're good at," Sawyer points out.
"The Capitol does. But the other tributes don't. Don't give them the upper hand."
"So then what do you suggest we do?" I ask, crossing my arms. It doesn't feel like Haymitch has been much help so far.
"Don't draw too much attention to yourselves. And maybe consider making an ally or two."
I couldn't believe what he was saying. "I don't want an ally! What good is that going to do?" We were being sent in there to kill each other and he wants us to make friends?
"Well it might do you some good, sweetheart. Do you want to get out of that arena or not?"
Sawyer places his hand on my shoulder, but I'm not sure if it's for my comfort or to keep me from attacking our mentor. "We'll try, Haymitch."
I shake off his hand "Like hell we will." I walk faster trying to put some distance between us. Haymitch isn't allowed to follow us into the training center but it doesn't stop him from calling out one more thing.
"Play nice, sweetheart!"
I fling my hand up to flash him a lewd gesture that would definitely leave Effie scolding me about my manners. I hear Haymitch laughing as Sawyer wraps his hand around my finger, bringing it down. I rip my hand from his grasp, glaring at him.
"Sponsors are watching", he reminds me gently, moving to a station alone. I feel another pang of guilt at the way he seems to be on the receiving end of my tantrums ever since we've gotten here when he's been trying to be nothing but nice to me. I stomped over to the nearest station, well aware that I was being closely watched. I hated being under their little microscope and the only thing keeping me afloat right now was the need to make it home to my family. I rub the side of my head, trying to wish away the headache that was starting to form from the lack of sleep and stress.
"That hard to make a net, love?" A confident voice makes me snap my head to the side. It was one of the tributes from the other district. A boy from four, I think. His eyes were a bright sea-green, crinkling around the edges as he looked like he was trying to hold back a big smile.
"Sorry?" I raise a brow, not sure why he feels the need to start a conversation.
He tilts his head to one side, his reddish-brown hair flopping over his forehead. "Want me to show you?"
I narrow my eyes, about to refuse but Haymitch's words play in my ear. I take a deep breath and turn to assess the boy. He's technically a career but he looks fairly harmless. He must be around the same age as Sawyer and I, if not a year or two older.
I shrug, stepping back to let him take the lead but he has other plans. He suddenly reaches out and if by instinct, I jump back, making him laugh.
"Relax, love." Why does he keep calling me that? He reaches out again, slowly this time, and takes a hold of my hands. He guides me through weaving the rope through itself until I've formed a couple of knots that interlock to create the beginnings of a net. He pulls back, letting me take over completely, pointing to the loop I needed to go through next if I got confused. I keep my gaze on the rope, concentrating on committing this to memory when he starts talking again.
"You're the one that volunteered for her sister, right? Twelve? I'm Hudson. Four."
I nod. "Willow."
My coldness only makes his smile bigger. "How did a sunny personality like you catch loverboy?" I can only assume he was talking about Sawyer.
"I didn't 'catch' him. I can't control what he says in his interview. And shouldn't you be making friends with the other careers?" I was being a little short with him, but a part of me was also genuinely curious.
"They're a little…serious for my taste. But you are much more my speed, love." He leans across the table, flashing me another smile. Where did he get off being this cocky? And was he seriously flirting? "Besides, it doesn't really matter. It's not like I could have an even bigger target on my back than I do already."
"What do you mean?"
He furrows his brows, like he's not sure if I'm joking or not. "My cousin is Finnick Odair."
"Like, the victor?" I asked. That was the only person I knew by that name.
"The one and only."
Now that Hudson had said it, I could see the family resemblance. They both had the same eyes and hair color, and if I was being completely honest, he was just as attractive as Finnick. The Capitol citizens must love him, probably almost as much as they love his cousin, who seems to be one of the most well liked victors of the games. Finnick won when he was only fourteen, one of the youngest victors ever and was given the most expensive gift anyone had ever received in the area, a trident. I wonder if Hudson expects the same kind of treatment from sponsors.
"So what? You volunteered to keep the family legacy?"
Hudson gives me a rueful smile with a shake of his head. "I'm afraid my odds were just as bad as everyone else here. But no need to worry your pretty little head about me. I've got that good old Odair charm on my side," he winks, waggling his brows. He's just so ridiculous that I can't help but laugh. Even though we were technically each other's competition, I couldn't help but like Hudson.
"Looks like you've got an admirer," Hudson nods behind me, giving a smile and a wave to whoever is there. I glance back but I don't see anybody. I give Hudson a questioning look and he points up. I follow his direction and see a small girl hanging from the rafters, a knife in her hand. She catches me glancing at her and giggles, placing a finger over her mouth for me to keep quiet. I give her a small smile and a wave, a little confused as to why she's telling me to do so until I hear the argument going on right below her.
"What did you do with it?" One of the careers, a large boy from one, was confronting the boy from two.
"I don't know what you're talking about!"
"My knife. It was just here. I know you took it!" He pushes him back until they both end up on the mat and start wrestling each other. I glance back up to see the little girl holding her hand over her mouth to keep herself from making a sound as the two boys continue to fight each other.
"She reminds me a bit of my Sera," Hudson comments. "She's mischievous like that too."
"Who's Sera?" I can't help but ask. He's just so easy to talk to that the words are out before I can stop myself.
"She's my girl back home. Well, not officially. But she has my heart," he places hand over his chest as he gets this dreamy look on his face, a far contrast to the cockiness he's been overplaying until this point. "But that's a secret between us. Can't have the Capitol disappointed that I'm not single."
"Your secret is safe with me." And for the first time since meeting Hudson, I give him a smile. Maybe we're not that different after all. We both have people we love and want to protect that we were taken away from.
"Thanks, love," he winks again and I roll my eyes. I guess his mask is back up.
"You know how to start a fire?" I gesture over to the fire making station. Sawyer is at the camouflage station next to it, sending me a questioning look but I just shrug. It's not really any of his business who I make friends with. Hudson shakes his head and we walk over together.
"Your cousin is your mentor, right? How is that?"
"It's definitely bittersweet. I mean, I grew up looking up to him. He was so cool! A victor! But it's not like I wanted to be in the games myself. I know he'll try to take care of me, and he certainly won't disappoint with the sponsors. Although it looks like I might have some serious competition," he bumps my elbow.
"You don't mean me?"
He nods. "Lover boy did wonders for your image. And the Capitol loves that you volunteered for that cute little sister of yours. They love her. At least, that's what I've been hearing from my cousin dearest."
I sigh, uncomfortable with how my life has started to become some kind of spectacle. "I just want to go home."
"We all do," Hudson chuckles. "You're not special."
I scowl but he just laughs it off again, turning his attention to the instructor who shows us how to make a fire using flint and steel.
"Same time tomorrow?" Hudson jokes when we're all being herded out of the training room for lunch.
"I'll be the one in black," I snort. It's wholly unattractive but I don't think he cares.
"You crack me up, twelve." Hudson flings his arms around my shoulders, pulling me in for a hug and loudly smacking his lips to my hair. I cringe because we're both sweaty and it's absolutely disgusting but he only seems to find my lack of comfort amusing as he walks away whistling. I'm not typically a fan of people touching me, apart from Dani and my parents, but with Hudson it seems like his thing.
I'm still trying to process my entire interaction with the career. From what I've seen every year, they're the most vicious of the tributes, sometimes even taking joy in killing others but I can't see that with Hudson.
"Nice job, sweetheart," Haymitch praises when I meet him at the entrance. Sawyer is already there, a slight frown that looks out of place on his usually calm face. "Looks like Odair's taken a liking to you."
"Not from trying on my part," I tell him. "It's like the more I try to get rid of him the stronger he comes back." I laugh, thinking about the boy who I could almost consider to be my friend.
"Maybe he likes you," Sawyer comments, although his tone is short.
"Trust me, I'm pretty sure that's not the case." I'm not about to spill Hudson's secret though. The less people that know personal information about us, the better.
"You'd be surprised," he mumbles, pushing past us towards the elevator.
"What's his problem?" I ask our mentor.
"I'm not a mind reader," Haymitch scoffs, herding me in after Sawyer.
Sawyer seems to be in a mood all the way up to the penthouse, and I don't like it. He's usually the one who seems to put everyone at ease, at least putting me at ease, since we've gotten here and it's currently putting a somber mood over the atmosphere.
"Effie will be here to help you with your interviews in a few," Haymitch stumbles towards the kitchen.
"What about you?" I follow after him. "Shouldn't you be giving us more advice about being inside the arena? You're the only one of us who's been there!"
Sawyer stays behind near the elevator and I look to him for help but he gives me a tight smile, offering no help whatsoever.
"Yeah, I'm the only one who knows what it's like in there, so don't go acting all high and mighty. I'll get to it when I get to it," Haymitch lifts the bottle to his mouth, swaying in place.
"Well excuse me if I don't give a damn what you want. It's our lives on the line-"
Before I can even finish my sentence, Haymitch has gone and spewed his stomach all over the floor and in turn, on me. It's covering my clothes from about the waist down and the smell is absolutely vile. I have to stop myself from gagging and doing the same. Something about this situation, being thrown up on by my mentor who was the only person who could offer any sort of help to get me back home to my sister, makes me snap and clench my fists, trying to blink back my tears.
"What is going on in here?" Effie chooses that moment to come into the room, assessing the scene. I don't even have an explanation I could offer her.
And then the smell starts to finally hit me and I can't hold it back myself. At least I have the decency to make it to the sink before I throw up, crying as I hold the edge of the metal bar.
"Oh dear," Effie shakes her hands around, like she's not sure what to do. "Haymitch! What did I tell you about your drinking in front of the children! My poor girl," she turns from me to Haymitch opening and closing her hands. I don't blame her for not wanting to get near us.
It's Sawyer who finally moves first, straight towards me. He gently moves the hair from my face. "Are you okay?"
I nod my head, wanting to get away from everyone as quickly as possible. He sighs, his eyes softening and any hardness in them from earlier fading away.
"Do you want to rinse off? And then you can go and wash up and change."
"B-but Haymitch…" I twist my head to look over at my mentor who is all but passed out on the ground.
"I'll take care of him. Don't worry," he offers me a smile and his voice is gentle, the way Dani's is when she speaks to Aunt Prim's goats when they're scared.
I can't help but feel weary of this boy. Was this another one of his tactics? To make me let my guard down around him and get some points with our mentor? After all Haymitch will be the one trying to get us sponsors, why wouldn't he be trying to get in his good graces. And that was much better than the alternative, that Sawyer, despite his hard upbringing based on survival, was just simply that good and kind. I hoped he wasn't because I would never be able to hurt him in the arena when it came to it if that was the case.
But I'm too embarrassed and grossed out to care at the moment and just nod, rinsing what I could from my mouth and walking straight past everyone without a second glance. I don't bother stripping my training clothes until I've rinsed them off and left them in the shower room. I'm sure they'll find them eventually. I do find a comfortable pair of green trousers and a white tunic to slip on instead. I'm tempted to just stay in here and sleep but it seems overly cruel not to check in with Sawyer after I've left him with our mess of a mentor. I venture back out into the kitchen to find it clean and empty, nobody to be found.
"There you are!" Effie spots me before I can go and check some of the other rooms. "Great, you've cleaned up," she assessed my outfit. "Although I wish you would have put on something a little more lady-like."
"It's comfortable," I argue. She lets out a sound but doesn't tell me to change so I consider that a win.
"Well come on." She grabs a hold of my elbow, guiding me towards the living room.
"But what about Haymitch?"
"He's fine," Effie waves me off. "That sweet boy is taking care of him."
I roll my eyes. Great. He's got Effie in his pocket now too.
The next couple of hours feels like torture, She runs me through proper etiquette while talking to people and how to walk in heels. I thought the entire thing to be completely a waste of time because when was I ever going to need to know how to bid someone farewell in the middle of a conversation? Something tells me there are less formalities in the arena. I'm sore and in a much worse mood by the end of our session where Effie also felt the need to make me walk back and forth in heels. Not only could I still not walk without stumbling but I was sure I would have blisters tomorrow.
"I think that's enough for today!" Effie claps her hands encouragingly, as I collapse onto the sofa. "We'll continue tomorrow," she pats my knee, dismissing me.
There's still no signs of Haymitch or Sawyer and I decide to hide away in my room for the rest of the day. I'm awakened from the nap I didn't even know I took when someone knocks on my door. Sawyer stood on the other side, having changed into gray pants and a black t-shirt himself, looking much more relaxed than earlier.
"We're watching the tribute parade and Haymitch is going to tell us what he's heard about the other tributes," he tells me.
"How did you get him to agree to that?"
Sawyer rubs the back of his neck. "It didn't take much. I think he feels bad about…you know," he makes a throwing-up gesture and the face he makes is so spot-on that it makes me laugh.
"I came to see if you're feeling better and if you'll come join us?"
I shrug and follow him into the living room where Haymit is already sitting. At least he has a glass of water in his hand instead of another drink. Regardless, I sit myself on the far end of the couch, letting Sawyer take the middle between us. He hands me my own glass of water sitting on the side table and I take it from him with a nod of thanks.
"The careers," Haymitch speaks up once Sawyer figures out how to work the monitor. It shows President Snow announcing the 100th games tribute parade and the first district. The first two tributes that emerge from the gate look confident and almost excited. The boy is large, maybe slightly shorter than Sawyer but much more muscular. The girl also looks strong and they raise their fists in the air, cheering along with the audience. The pair in the second chariot act similarly to the first and it's clear they're also well fed. Much more than the lower districts.
"They've been training for the games since they were kids. All four of them volunteered. They're strong, but not very smart. They're cocky and they think they're unbeatable."
Sawyer nods, like he's making a mental note of all the information.
Haymitch continues on, telling us the pair from three are extremely smart, but not very physically adept.
"They're also technically careers," Haymitch says when the chariot for district four rolls out.
"That's Hudson." I recognize the green-eyed boy in the chariot, catching roses being thrown at him from the audience. It seems that they're chanting his mentor's name just as much as they're shouting his.
"A Capitol favorite. Just like his cousin," Haymitch points out.
"His cousin?" Sawyer looks over at me.
"Finnick Odair," I smile, reminded of how much Hudson looks like the victor.
Sawyer frowns but doesn't say anything, turning his attention back to the screen.
Haymitch continues to make comments about the other tributes when they appear on the screen and I start to zone out, even though I should be paying more attention. Did I even stand a chance against these other tributes? I mean at the end of the day, only one of us makes it out and it's a lot easier to be confident about my chances in the comfort of this elaborate penthouse.
"I don't think she'll last long."
Haymitch's comment snaps me out of my thoughts. "Who?"
He tips his glass of water towards the screen. "The little one from eleven. She doesn't stand a chance. But the big guy's protective of her. He might make sure she lasts a little while."
"She's really sneaky," I defend the girl whose name I don't even know yet. "And she can climb really well."
Haymitch narrows his eyes at me. "Don't tell me you're trying to ally with the girl. She's a liability."
"She's so young," I comment. She's the same age as Dani.
"I don't have time to try to help another tribute. I've already got my hands full with the two I'm stuck with this year. Now sit. We're almost through," Haymitch tells me.
I fall back and look back up to see myself and Sawyer on the screen. At least, I think it's us. I don't quite recognize the girl up on that chariot. She's definitely radiant, soft flames flickering behind her, and she looks strong, confident almost, as she waves out into the audience. Sawyer isn't lacking beside her either, his broad shoulder accentuated by the suit his stylist designed, the flames making his gray eyes light up.
"Now the boy is too nice for his own good. And the girl? She's stubborn and doesn't listen."
"Very funny," I glare at him.
"Did I lie?" Haymitch raises his brow. "You can't ignore your weaknesses. That's what'll get you killed." He stands up. "You kids happy? I think I did my mentor duties for the day." And with that, he walks out of the room, leaving me and Sawyer alone.
"Are you going to ally with that career?" Sawyer asks after a few minutes of us sitting in silence.
"No," I snap, not that it was any of his business in the first place. "I don't want an ally. It's going to make it harder in the end."
"But it could help. Haymitch said-"
"Haymitch won't be in there with us. He's not the one who's going to have to look these kids in the eye when they kill them." My words are blunt and harsh, but our mentor is right. Sawyer is too nice for his own good. He cares too much about other people. He almost reminds me a bit of Dani in that way. Maybe it's because they're both the youngest in their families.
I'm done talking to him about this so I stand up, placing the glass back on the table and head back to my room for another restless night.