Well I'm healthy enough to start writing again, this should be fun.

Chapter 2: Wake Up (Grab a Brush and Put on a Little Makeup)

Humankind has existed, in some form or another, for nearly two million years in the brief history of the planet Earth. Somehow, eons ago, some evolutionary path split those distant ancestors away from the paths that the multitude of beasts that had somehow managed to grow alongside them. Alone on the planet were the earliest hominids the bearers of what would one day be called "sapience". Arguments have been made in recent years that some other species have begun to approach this level of intelligence; pigs, some aquatic mammals, and even the common crow have been presented as having some form of self-identification over the years, with varying degrees of proof given to the scientific community to quibble about.

Fifty thousand years ago, while there were yet a few different species of humans, ice ages that covered much of the world in snow and ice put pressure on natural selection in ways biology could never have expected. A scarcity of edible plant life turned entire tribes into necessary carnivores. A diet heavy in meat allowed more direct energy to brain function, and over the generations the ability to reason and think at higher levels expanded their ability to dream and aspire to greatness. As these dumb creatures learned and grew, they developed many unnatural things. Social hierarchies with kings and queens that were treated as gods quickly became the norm as the ice age ended in the now-fertile lands that would become known as Egypt. As the planet thawed and a massive diaspora of life crossed the planes of every continent unknown to man, the future Americas became the land of those who lived alongside it. Mythologies were created around elemental primal gods. Cults of blood and bone were born out of fear and power, if only to satisfy some forgotten tradition and appease imagined monsters.

From its humble beginnings as an accidental quirk of nature, humankind had become something new. No longer animals, they had become something more akin to the gods of living beasts. To exist at a higher plane of power over the other creatures did indeed make humanity the de facto eldrich abominations, relatively speaking. Horrific creatures were the humans, who could smash ore into steel, flatten sand into plates, and capture thunder in a bottle. Their very existence brought instability to the world that had spawned them. "The rightful kings of the land" some of them might think to justify their presence, to yank a heart of coal from the mountain that had birthed it, only to burn it for our temporary convenience of flameless light.

Humankind had not yet finished evolving, not by a long shot. The inhuman potential of a species that could say "I think, therefore I am" cannot be contained by simple reason. Whatever the cause, however it happened, one day in a small village in China, the very first truly superpowered human, a baby that was born with a shining glow, changed the world yet again.

For two million years, Man had pushed and struggled to become the dominant life form. They thought that they had it all figured out.

It took the birth of one child to tell an entire species that nothing would ever be the same again.

"Sooooo..." said the professional hero codenamed MirrorWave. "I guess Simon Says is out?"

The Rainbow Bridge had become something of a curiosity in the past three weeks since the "Mount Doom" incident, as the news cycle had begun to call it. Hundreds of investigators from dozens of agencies, some of them even international, had come to examine the bridge and try to make sense of the whole situation. In the aftermath of the accident, Lily had been forced to construct a sort of shield around her and the strange man named Naruto to keep other authorities from taking him away. The heroes who had been witness to his instructions had stood up for her, especially the big man, Trooper. It took some debate, but he had managed to get the police and investigators to leave him be.

Lily had volunteered her time to remain with him on the pier. There wasn't a lot of room at all for the man to rest near where he had injected that strange black substance into the bridge, only about four feet or so's worth of leeway was between him and a splash into the bay.

She'd made the best of a bad situation, though. She had ordered some raw materials to be sent to the site, and using blueprints that had been custom-made by one of her constructive algorithms, a tiny cabin made of a sturdy carbon-fiber material jutted out over the water, giving them a space of about three meters by four. Enclosed on all sides, up and down, the only surface not plastered with the nanobot-created shelter was the bare concrete wall.

In the days since he had fallen unconscious, a stunned world watched on as the Rainbow Bridge began to repair itself without the aid of a construction crew. When the black substance had merged with the bridge, it did not simply draw damaged frames together and hold them in place. Where rubble had been blown too far away, the black took shape of the material it had replaced. Over time, while the bridge was still a crime scene, somebody had noticed that the filler material was beginning to somehow begin replacing itself with masonry, as if it had adapted its form and became the bridge. Then one sharp-eyed observer witnessed a piece of remaining rubble in the roadway disappear, only to reappear a split second later where it had come from.

Evidence bags gathered from the crime scene were emptied without warning; the poor lab techs that had been assigned to examine them for clues were scared shitless when they were seemingly spirited away. Slowly, bit by bit, the Rainbow Bridge was restored to its former glory, with a few small cracks in the foundation at the bottom, right where the cause of its damage lay prostrate.

Of course, he was not to be left to his own devices, nor was Lily the sole guardian. The bridge had not yet been cleared for pedestrian or automobile traffic. With the situation as it was, there were no guarantees that the man was safe to be around. Lily's hero agency gave her clearance to remain by his side indefinitely; the good press that they were getting by the day with her in the spotlight was publicity that simply couldn't be bought, and even if she was to leave before the situation was resolved in the eyes of the law, at least they would have one of their own with perspective.

She did, however, have trusted comrades and officials come in. As crazy as she was, she wasn't going to go out of her way to hinder a police investigation. She had recorded the conversation she had with the man with her nanobots and relayed the entire thing to all concerned parties. All efforts to examine the black material, whether with scientific equipment or various Quirk users, was met with a slew of nothing. It could be photographed, touched, and licked, but beyond learning that it vaguely tasted and smelt of burnt marshmallow and cherry blossoms, its secrets were not to be revealed.

"You talkin' to the stiff again?" a voice from outside the hutch called out. A few quick raps against the door signaled a visitor, one of the other heroes in her agency.

"He's not dead, Kazu," she said tiredly, standing up with a groan from the cot that had been brought in for her. No matter how much padding you put on one of those things, it would never, ever be more comfortable that a cot on a bridge. Imahara Kazu was a man of slightly below-average height with thin, angular features. His skin was an ashen gray tone, long shaggy hair tumbling down his shoulders, with pale blue eyes shining through his bangs. Shining, in this case, being quite literally the case, as the room was illuminated softly in the light of his eyes, and like a soft spotlight, brightened the room whatever direction he happened to be looking towards. He came in civilian garb, a tacky Hawaiian shirt over khaki shorts and thong sandals. "And what the hell is up with all..." She waved her hand in a general circle in the air around his torso. "...this? Did you get vomited on by an Elvis movie or something?"

Kazu grinned and held up a plastic bag. "Nah, the girls wanted to head to the beach, and it's me day off and all," he said. "Brought ya some supplies. You should head home for a bit when you can, Trooper said he'd drop in later on to relieve ya."

She retrieved the bag from him gratefully. "You're my favorite," she said with a kiss to his cheek. He smiled back at her; they had been friends for more than half their lives, and Lily's ideas of boundaries could be rather fluid at times. "Oh, yes, instant udon."

"Don't forget to eat the salad," he said. "And maybe clean the place up a bit? You might have some other visitors tomorrow from the agency."

Lily blinked at that. She rubbed at her eyes with her forefinger and thumb for a moment, slowly moving on to pinch her brow and nose. "Is it... bad?" She glanced around the room as if seeing it for the first time.

It had only been five days since the last time she had cleaned after herself. She was sure of it. Where had all these garbage bags come from?

When did she start nesting on one corner of the cot with a video game, and how did trash bags get filled that quickly?

She looked at the plastic-strewn surface of the bench beside her. She was sure that the human torch was under there somewhere.

"Lily," Kazu said softly. "You're doing it again. Boss said no gaming on the job. You tend to get... well, distracted."

"No need to get her involved!" Lily twisted around to find a safe space to store her loot. "Er- Hold on. I got this."

"I really wish you wouldn't do this, Lily. You will never learn your lesson if you don't actually clean up after yourself."

Lily snorted. She cracked her fingers and stretched her arms over her head, bringing her stained t-shirt almost up to her bellybutton. "It's all good, brother," she said. "I recycle, y'know." Silver particles seemed to creep from the skin on her hands like some kind of good to drip onto the debris covering the domicile. Nanobots, miniature, programmable swarms of them, flooded the floors and walls of the room, tiny tendrils of them moving the garbage to a single pile in the corner furthest from the door. Plastics, papers, and metals were swiftly separated from biodegradable remnants of past meals, and even as the separation process was completed, the nanobots had fashioned a patchwork but durable set of bags to dispose of them with.

"That is so cheap," Kazu deadpanned. "You have zero sense of personal responsibility."

"Hey! I had to write that program, you know! This isn't telekinesis, man, you know how long it took for me to script the compostable protocols."

Kazu rolled his eyes. "Still lazy," he said. He glanced over at the blanket-covered figure on the ground. Plastic wrappers littered around him as well, and a mostly-empty chips packet was inches from his nose. "Seriously, how ya gonna treat a man like this?"

"It's not like I'm spilling soup on him, Kazu," she said through a yawn. "He wants to complain, he can wake up and do it. Not like I'm on vacation here."

Kazu grumbled, then reached down to clear the clutter from the man's body. Some crumbs fell out of a bag when he picked up the chips, falling onto his chest. Kazu brushed them to the floor, muttering, "Sorry about that, mate."

He sneezed. "Bless you," Kazu said automatically.

"Thank you."

"So anyway, just try to keep things neater around here, okay? Whatever that black crap on the bridge was, it's almost through with the repairs, and the scientific and technical bigwigs are still trying to figure out what it is. The stiff could wake up at any..." Kazu blinked quite rapidly, the shine from his eyes turning red and offering a strobing effect on the interior. He coughed, looked at Lily, and then back to the pile of garbage atop him. "...any minute now. Er. Hi. This is awkward."

"I can't feel my feet."

"Does he still have feet?"

"Excuse me, what do you mean, 'does he still have feet' DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO MY LIMBS."

Lily burst into motion from her spot and slipped on a banana peel to fall on her ass. She reached out to cushion her fall, only to grab the blanket that had been over his head and yanked it half off of his torso. His body wasn't as luminescent now as it had been when they had met, but his skin was still radiating a soft gold around the black patterns that coated his skin as well as his apparent clothing.

Once they'd realized that he had stopped moving completely, not even seeming to breathe in that state, Lily had covered him up for a while and... started a game. Some debris from one gaming session or another had fallen between him and the wall.

"Well I- It's not like I peek under the blanket every so-and-so!" Lily scrambled over a bag with panic in her eyes. "Hi! Me! You! Sorry, I get carried away, just let me get these off of you..." With mercurial speed, the nanobots stopped what they were doing to flow together on the wall beside the man, a silvery, shimmering pile of tendrils cleaning refuse from him and taking it away. Judging by how they moved, some of the bags that were leaning against his legs were quite compact. With a snap, a hidden door slid open and the bots made busy taking all of the garbage away.

"You still got your kicks, mate," Kazu said. "Honestly, girl, I do not understand how you physically generate so much garbage in such a short time. And if you can do it that easily, why don't you clean more often?"

She shot daggers at her friend. "Not now, Kazu!" She snapped back to face him with a forced smile. "Hi. Hello. Er, let me finish up..." The rustling of plastic brushing against the floor and all other surfaces made a strange river-like cacophony. An uncomfortable moment or two passed, and the debris from the compartment was clean, save for the lingering odor of utter shame from the host.

"How do you feel?" Kazu asked him. "It's Naruto, right? That's what you called yourself?" Kazu examined the man's body, what he could see of it, very carefully. At its base, he was covered in a shroud of gold from head to toe, and within that shine, his hair seemed to be more liquid light than solid matter. His eyes, too, we a bright yellow, horizontally slitted somehow, and three wide black stripes graced each cheek. On his belly, a black circle of some kind was emblazoned with six black magatama arranged both on the inside and outside perimeter.

Interestingly, it looked like the light wasn't just coating his skin, but affected his clothing as well. Some of the edges of the body looked tattered, and what might have once been a proud coat was now luminescent rags. "Yeah... Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto, for what it's worth." He began to blink slowly and gently move his head. "Can you remove the blanket?"

Lily gently lifted the blanket from his body and put it aside. The rest of his body was the same golden hue with black markings going down his legs. Like the remains of some kind of coat, what appeared to be tatters of cloth on his hips and some kind of footwear stubbornly clinging to his toes held on in sheer spite. "How do you feel?" Kazu repeated. "Can you move? Is this something you're used to, or do we like, need to take you to a hospital?"

"The higher-ups are probably going to get him checked out one way or another," Lily said.

"Gimme a moment," Naruto said. "How, uh, how do I look?" He slowly began flexing his fingers and toes, the slow prickling of blood finally moving in his veins bringing sensation to his extremities. Old pains sparked, but considering everything he'd been through, the fact that he'd survived with his second line of defense still intact meant that he would at the very least survive. He could remain in this state indefinitely, but he wouldn't be able to truly begin the healing process from his most recent fight until he powered down.

Essentially, he was coated with a metaphysical suit of armor made with his own power, but when it went down, he'd probably go down.

"Like a glowing corpse," quipped Kazu.

"Ignore him," Lily said while shushing her friend. "You look alive, at least. Everything seems to be where it's supposed to..." She glanced a bit further down his body than she really should have.

"Eyes up here," Naruto mumbled.

Kazy lightly tapped Lily's shoulder. "He's not a piece of meat, girl."

"We don't know what he is," Lily pointed out. "You're human, though, right?"

Am I human? Naruto thought as he stared up at his current hosts. Interesting question. Meant they either had a good sense of humor, or were fully prepared to accept that he might not be. "Mostly," he said. "Where am I, exactly?" he asked the girl. "I remember most of what happened, but some details towards the end aren't all there. I probably told you some disturbing things." He paused for a moment. "They were all probably true. I have... been through some things recently. To be honest, I'm not sure if I am okay under all of this."

Kazu looked at his friend. "You're on one of the pillars holding up the Rainbow Bridge. Whatever that black stuff you tossed out was, it fixed the thing right up." He nodded at the wall behind him, which seemed to have only a few inches left of goo to go before it vanished to a point near where he had been sleeping all this time. "She constructed this shelter at the base. We weren't sure what kind of effect removing you from the bridge would have; she advocated to keep you here under watch."

Naruto looked at her from his prone position and got a better look at the girl. She was pretty, in that "barely out of the teens" age some women get before they fully blossom. Her silky black hair was streaked silver, covering sharp, mischievous eyes. "Appreciate the concern," he said slowly, "but ya didn't have to keep me here. Once it's activated, it does its thing." He frowned. "How long has it been since then? A few, four days?" He'd seen people accumulate garbage that quickly, it wouldn't surprise him. Hell, he himself had once had a shrine constructed of discarded instant noodle bowls stuck together with used chopsticks. Turned him into a minor deity for three and a half minutes before the shrine went aflame, but that wouldn't work twice.

Kazu glanced at Lily. "Mate... it's been over three weeks. Seems that chunk right next to you is the last of it. We thought you woke up because of that, honestly. This is day twenty-three since you wrecked our harbor."

Naruto did not move for a moment. "Twen... It took three weeks to fix a bridge..." he breathed. "What happened to me?" Groaning, he slowly began to prop himself on his shoulders and swing his legs over the side of the cot. The glow off of his skin bounced reflections and shadows around the cabin, lost in the even flourescent lights from above. "That trick should have fixed it in five days, tops. Would have been quicker if I had more..." He put a hand to his belly and winced.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked as she moved to sit beside him. She hesitantly reached a hand to his elbow to steady him, but recoiled as a static spark glanced off her fingers. "Hey!"

"I'm okay, just not a hundred percent yet. Sorry about that, the shroud repels anything I'm not standing, sitting, or leaning on. Basically a moderately reactive shield around my body. I can tune it down under normal circumstances, but it's my life support right now." He shrugged. "No touchy for now."

"How're the doctors going to help you if they can't treat you?" Kazu asked.

Naruto blinked slowly and looked at the hero. "They... won't." Shaking his head, he said, "Listen, I appreciate the shelter and the help. I'm very, very sorry for the trouble that you got caught up in. If there's restitution to be made, I'll do my best to provide it. I will happily beg forgiveness from anybody that got hurt while I was around. But I think you know that it wasn't intentional, or even my fault it happened." He held his hands up in a "what are you gonna do" pose. "I can heal up on my own, I just need some time to rest the proper way and reopen my meridians. But under no circumstances do I get treated like a Guinea pig, you hear?"

"Why? You got something to hide, mate?"

Naruto smirked. "Why? You got something to prove to someone?" He shook his head again. "What makes you think you deserve my secrets? What did you do to earn my trust?"

"You little shi-"

"Okay Kazu, let's go." Lily stood up and grabbed her friend by the arm. "Outside. Now."

"But he-"

"Outside." Before he could protest further, she had already begun to pull him to the door on the opposite end of the room. It slid open from the center, into a small chamber with a short bench in it. The door closed as they passed, momentarily locking them in a dimly-lit airlock of some sort.

"Lily-" The door to the exterior slid open, blinding them both with the sudden onslaught of natural light. The afternoon sun blazed on the Rainbow Bridge, and the bay all around was teeming with traffic. There was a massive ring of buoys for over three hundred meters around their location to divert traffic and sightseers, and though there doubtlessly were representatives of government agencies of nations around the world who would have a live feed of the cabin for their own self interests, she had a swarm of nanobots in the area to scramble any electronic surveillance she didn't approve of. Ironically, out on that pylon was where they could have the most private conversation.

"Something's up with that guy," Kazu said. "There's something really off with him."

"Come on, Kazu!"

"No. No, no no no no. You don't understand, Lily. I can't read him anymore. When he was unconscious, yeah, I could see his head, but his body was under the blanket. My eyes went wonky with that glowy skin, but at least I could get something. But now he's awake?" He shook his head. "Whatever he is, I can see him and the environment around him affected by the light itself, but that's it. On every other level I can scan, in every frequency permutation, he isn't there. Electromagnetic, thermal, nothing. He's hiding something, Lily."

"You don't believe his story."

Kazu frowned and looked out over the water. "That's the problem, sis. I do believe him. But don't forget, he already said he was a killer. That's how he ended up in... whatever that was. But I don't trust him. His quirk is all over the map. Flight, that shield, the goop? You don't really think that all comes from one quirk, do you? Nobody has more than two unless..."

"They're associated with him is what you mean," Lily finished his sentence in a soft tone.

Kazu narrowed his eyes. "He's been in hiding since All Might beat him, but there is no chance that he's dead. He... wouldn't be the first nice guy to be a criminal."

"Kazu-"

"Do you think they're just gonna let him walk away once they learn he's alive?" he barked. "He's already confessed to being a killer. Just because we can't see the graveyards doesn't mean he hasn't filled them. We can't trust him right now. He's too involved for us to let him walk away right now."

"Do you think we could stop him if we tried?" Lily countered.

"Dunno. He said he was weakened, and he still doesn't look so good. Pretty sure we could at least make escape difficult." He jerked his head back at the bunker. "We don't know how his powers work. Hell, we don't know which ones belong to him. He could be another All For One for all we know. You trust someone who could take your Quirk? One way or another, I'm keeping my distance. You should too."

Kazu made a good point. "We still need answers from him," she said carefully. "I think I stand a better chance of getting it from him straight if I have my partner with me. I already want to trust him, Kazu, but I don't know if I can do this without you."

He turned his head aside and pursed his lips. He knew she was right. "I really hate being your friend sometimes," he said.

She grabbed his head and reached in to kiss his cheek. "Thanks, Kazu," she said with a smile. "You won't regret this."

"I regret getting out of bed this morning already."

Arms akimbo on her hips, Lily nodded her head towards the cabin. "I need you to work with me on this and follow my lead, Kazu," she said. "I don't get the feeling that he's a bad guy, but until we get more on him, we should proceed cautiously. Let's go."

The doors slid open with a muted "whoosh" again as they passed through the lock. "Carrot and stick?" Kazu asked softly.

She shook her head. "Let's just try to engage him for now and convince him that we're his best option at the moment. See what's up from there." He nodded and followed her through the threshold.

Naruto had pushed himself up in his bedding so that his back was against the wall at the head of his cot. He had crossed his legs and folded his arms casually in front of him, hands gently curled up and relaxed. "Comfortable?" Lily asked as she carefully sat down. Kazu, for his part, flopped down and jostled the cot. With an elbow deftly dodged by his shoulder, she settled herself in.

"Beats the mountaintop where I learned to meditate," Naruto said with a smile. "This is paradise compared to that."

"What kind of-"

"Kazu."

"I wasn't going to insult him, Lily," Kazu grumbled. "Listen... we got off on the wrong foot, mate. Let me try again. I'm Imuhara Kazu, and I work for the same hero agency that Lily does."

Naruto blinked at that. Hero agency? Guess they're public servants or something. Figures, they didn't have vigilante or military vibes at the blowout. "I've been bringing Lily supplies now and again while she's been keeping an eye on you. Babysat on occasion when she had places to be." He scowled at her sideways. "If I had known the trash was that bad, I would have surprised her more often."

"KAZU."

"That's all right," Naruto chuckled. "I've had worse roommates than her. You two are heroes, huh? The good kind?"

Kazu looked over at Lily and frowned. "What other kind are there?" he asked.

He looked at the pair for a moment, then said, "Depends on who you ask. You two seem close. Are you partners, or dating or something?"

Lily nearly choked at the sharp turn in the conversation. "I- hey, that is none of your business!" she blurted out.

Kazu sighed and looked heavenward, as if he'd been through this exact conversation too many times to count. "No," he intoned monotonously, "she is not my girlfriend." He held up a hand and ticked fingers off as if reciting from a bulleted list. "We are not seeing each other on the side. Yes, we are childhood friends, and yes, we went to school together, and yes, we have been best friends for many years." He scratched at his head, then continued. "However, that being said, I am currently in a committed relationship with a wonderful woman who I'm going back home to tonight. So can we do ourselves a favor and those tired tropes and move along?"

Naruto blinked. Oh. Damn. This guy had it rough. "So that means you choose to be friends with her?" he asked.

Kazu let himself smile. The guy understood, it seemed. "Yup."

"Hey!" Lily protested.

"I was covered in trash, woman."

"... So, anyway..." Lily said after an awkward pause. "Listen." She took a deep inhalation to steady her nerves. "I'm glad you two found some common ground here." She steepled her fingers and leaned forward, her elbows on her hips. She kept eye contact with Naruto, who in turn casually changed his focus from one to the other. "I'm sure you have some questions for us. Frankly, though, I get the feeling we have more questions for you than the other way around. Thing is, I get the feeling that you aren't the kind of guy who goes around listening to what people tell you to do, and trying to leverage you is out of the question at this point.

"I need answers, Lightbulb." She pointed an index finger over her shoulder in the general direction of the shore. "Do you really understand what's out there? That's Tokyo Bay. Millions and millions of people are within a casual drive of where we are, right now, and each and every one got woken up by a flaming rip in the sky over three weeks ago. Twenty-three days, man, and all of them with no answers. Some are saying it was a terrorist attack. Some said it was a sign from God or something. None of them agree on which God it is, except it must be one of theirs, of course. Based on what you said to the heroes that were there when you appeared, they think you were in a fight in an underground magma chamber somewhere beneath the surface of the earth and someone ripped some kind of portal from there to here. That's Trooper's bet, anyway." She covered put her chin in her hand and leaned forward. "A lot of people are depending on me for some good news here. You already have some public goodwill for evacuating the bridge of accident victims and somehow repairing all the damage to it. It's just... that's the thing, man. Somehow."

Curious. Naruto tilted his head to the side and glanced from her to Kazu. He was hyper-focused on his eyes from across the short distance between them. No, not his eyes, but the spot just between them on the bridge of his nose. Interesting. He's avoiding eye contact.

"I see. You need answers, but don't know the questions to ask to get there. Trust me, I get it." He scratched at his cheek and pursed his lips. "Hmm. You're right, of course. Listen... there's a lot to go over if I'm going to explain who I am and where I come from. Worst part is, I could tell you the complete truth without any proof or context, and there's a pretty damn good chance you won't believe me." He shrugged and held up his hands. "It's happened before. And to be fair, you can't be expected to believe the kinds of things I could tell you about myself going in flat.

"I'm not a threat to you in any way. I just want to make that clear." He clapped his hands together gently and folded them together on his lap. "You are right. You deserve the answers to your questions, and I'll do my best to be honest."

Kazu and Lily exchanged a look. It was interesting from his point of view the various expressions on their faces as they had a silent conversation in the language of pure facial twitch and head movements. A flurry of emotions, counterpoints, and bargaining flipped through the air, until Kazu nodded and leaned back in silent defeat.

"You two really are best friends," he chuckled.

"Told ya," Kazu affirmed.

"Let's make a deal," Lily interrupted. "Let's say that we're open to suggestion. There's an explanation for what happened a few weeks ago, and whatever you give us is more than what we have right now. If we give you a fair shake to tell us your side of the story, we can stall the higher-ups from coming in for another two days, maybe three. My boss was wanting to talk to me sooner rather than later, according to Kazu-"

"Which you'd know if you just checked your damn e-mail," Kazu grumbled, "instead of looking at memes all day and eating junk food."

"The mass for my Biobots don't come from nowhere," Lily droned. "The upkeep on this place isn't cheap, you know."

"You make excess Biobots to justify eating binges, woman."

"And the difference is?" Rubber and glue, the pair of them. "Don't tell me how to use my Quirk. Anyway. I don't think you understand the kind of pressure we're under right now. There are political factions that would love to get you in a concrete room underground and start asking you questions. My office was able to snag the contract to keep an eye on you because I happened to be at the scene and contact you, but that contract is stipulated to be over if and when you wake up so that you could officially go into government custody."

"Hmm. See, there's that word again," Naruto mused. "'Custody', it's such a funny word." With fluid grace, he uncrossed his legs, put his feet on the ground, hands akimbo on his knees, his nose close enough to hers to only allow the suggestion of light to shine though it. His eyes blazed bright and golden, deepening to a sharp copper tone as orange took a much more prominent hue in the colors coming off of his skin.

Kazu yelped but didn't do more than flinch, while Lily didn't move a muscle. She met his gaze, eye to eye, while flecks of metallic tones whirled about his skin. "Am I in your custody, girl? Do you take responsibility for this? Do you really feel in charge?"

Kazu didn't breathe as his best friend stared down the monster. What have we gotten ourselves into? Kazu wondered solemnly.

After a moment, a lock of her sliver-streaked black hair fell across the hand cupping her face. "Yeah," she whispered. "I'm in charge here. I built this shack mostly so they didn't haul your ass to some government facility to who-knows-where where you'd never see the light of day again. You aren't like anything we've ever seen before. Your Quirk makes absolutely no fucking sense, and some of the others who saw you in action think you're working for All For One. Literally the entire world is waiting for me to tell them something that'll make them feel better about all of this, and until I have something to tell them- yeah, buddy. You're in my custody. I've kept you safe, sheltered, and out of malicious hands because I bet that it would be worth the wait. So yeah, Lightbulb. I'm in charge. You got a problem with that?" Her head tilted a bare few millimeters toward the door. "Head on out. I forbid recording devices in here from outside parties from long-distance observation. On top of that, we're surrounded by water on all sides. Unless you can walk up walls or on top of water in that crazy arsenal of yours, I don't think you're going to get away."

Naruto considered her words for a moment, and seemed to pick his words carefully. "That's all well and good," he said slowly. "But there's one thing you're forgetting."

"And what is that?"

"...I was flying when you met me. What makes you think I can't just do that again."

"...My point still stands. You said you need to heal. I can buy you time. In exchange for that, you answer questions and fill in some gaps. What happens after that, I can't promise you. But as long as you're in here, I will keep you safe and under my protection, but you damn well better understand this, my friend- I'm in charge."

Naruto grinned and leaned back. "Okay, I can see what you see in her," he said to Kazu, who seemed to remember how to breath all of a sudden. Lily let herself settle back into a more relaxed pose, her point made, but still on alert. She's sharp, he thought. But direct. "How about this," he proposed. "We trade questions and answers? I ask you something, you answer, you ask me something, I answer. Follow-up questions allowed, let's not get lawyery with the rules."

Kazu, having collected himself, cleared his throat. "Sounds fair," he said warily. "Do the two of us only get one for one with you?"

Naruto considered that. Hmm. "I suppose I have more to give you than the other way around." He held up a finger to make a point. "However, that doesn't mean I have to tell you everything about myself. I'm trying to reassure you people that this was an accident. Trust me, I'm the last guy to go knocking bridges down. So maybe can we just cut the crap and be respectful?"

The partners exchanged a glance, then a nod. "I can live with that," said Kazu. "You might as well set the tone with the questions. Go first." It was less an invitation and more of a challenge.

Naruto smirked. "All right. What's up with the eyes? I've seen a lot of ocular techniques before, and that's a new one."

"Ocular techniques? ...It's my Quirk, 'All-Seeing Eye'. If I focus my attention in front of me, I can shift to view literally any type of energy or wavelength. Infrared, microwave, electronic, radio- you name it, I can see it. My eyes change color to reflect what spectrum I'm looking through." He frowned. "Might as well tell you, no reason to hide it, but when I look directly at you, I can't see what's going on inside you. It's like... damn, I don't know how to describe it. You're an empty vacuum within a bubble that is radiating light from an unknown source. Your body is a black box that I cannot access." He paused a moment to choose his words. "You don't understand, that doesn't happen. I have no idea what to make of you." He held a finger in the air. "My whole life, the one single constant I've had in my life was that I could trust what I was seeing and make sense of it. So please, if I happen to act like an ass, it's because I'm suppressing the urge to flip the fuck out. I do not know how to process this information, and will likely need counseling at some point in the near future." He dug a hand into a pocket and pulled out a package of spearmint. "Gum?"

"No thanks, maybe later," Naruto replied. "Okay, look, I believe in therapy, but I promise I won't be around long enough to be the cause of it, okay? I mean, I probably won't. I can explain what's going on, but I'm going to need to lay out some context for you."

"What exactly do you mean, 'Context'?" asked Lily cautiously.

Naruto cradled his chin in a hand. "Hm. Well... Okay, how about this?" He held his hands in front of him and gesticulated as he talked. "I could promise you that I would only tell you the truth, but even if I was true to my word, if you were already suspicious of me, then making that promise would be pointless in the first place, follow me? Now, even assuming that I did in fact tell you everything about myself, what, I ask you, are you going to do with that knowledge?" He held a hand up towards Kazu. "Come on, man, what critical, case-specific questions do you have for me? I'll give you a freebie for going second here."

Kazu pursed his lips and tilted his head. "I'm not going to let you rattle me again," he deadpanned. "What happened to cutting the crap?"

"Just gotta see what you're made of."

"Heh. Fine." He pointed at Naruto's chest. "Your Quirk. What is it? How does it appear to be that it has so many effects? And if you happen to have more than one Quirk, do you have the ability to steal or copy the abilities of others' quirks... or is it a case where you somehow have connections to All for One?"

Naruto blinked at him, then leaned forward. "That... is a complicated question. I think I might need some context of my own, though, before I can go on."

"Hm?"

"First of all, who or what exactly is an All for One? Second, what the hell is a Quirk?" He looked between the two of them. "I'm not from around here. I shot through a ring of fire in the sky made by a shattering extradimensional prison trap that I had been tricked into for... I'll be honest, I genuinely do not know how long I was in there. I do not know why I was sent here, specifically. Hell, me being here could all be part of the trap for all I know." Something within the light of his aura began to grow in luminescence and bring more diverse yellows and golds to the scheme again. "Currently, I am a refugee in search of aid and asylum until I am healed enough to find a way to get in contact with my people so I can leave peacefully. And oh, by the way, Kazu, the reason you can't see through me is because you don't have the right wavelength." He held a hand in front of him, fingers curled up and cupped, a smile on his face. "See, there's this energy back where I'm from that operates a little differently than you're used to, most likely. Like other energies, it comes in many forms and shapes, and the list of names it has throughout the cosmos could blot out the sun itself. Magic. Juju. Miracle. Xan. Chi. Ki. Soulfire. Infinity."

A blue dot formed in his hands from nowhere, a small gust of wind blowing from the epicenter of his grasp and shining even brighter than his skin. Lily gasped at how bright and beautiful it was. The dot quickly swelled to the size of a tennis ball, moving in the air along with his hand. "But my people call it Chakra. The power of life, nature, and the world itself. This ball in my hand is called the Rasengan, which is a technique called Ninjutsu, a practice of my shinobi clan in my home dimension very, very far from here and many decades removed from my last visit.

"I am Uzumaki Naruto, longtime pathfinder, oftentime Hokage, and Warden of the Lost Path. And I could use something to eat. Got any ramen?"

A/N: I genuinely don't know what I'm doing lol