A/N: I'm sorry I suck at endings. I hope you enjoy it anyway! Thanks for reading!

"Did he say why?"

"I haven't been back to ask."

The two were silent. Arthur dropped his head to his hands. Gwaine wrapped his arm around Arthur's shoulders, waving comfortably at those who stared.

The tavern was dark, and the night outside was quiet. People were hushed in the corners. Arthur couldn't bring himself to look up at any of them. What must they think of their king? Lurking in the dark, red-eyed and dirty. His hand was aching. Gwaine had bandaged it with a scarf. Neither of them had wanted to see Gaius. Not just yet.

"Did I miss something?" Arthur whispered, "Did I push him too far?"

"I don't think this is your fault." Gwaine replied, just as softly, "And whatever it is, we all missed it."

They lapsed back into silence.

"Arthur, he's going to be okay. You're going to be okay."

Arthur didn't respond.

In truth, Gwaine was terrified. He was angry and hurt, probably just as much as Arthur, but he couldn't let it show. The king needed someone to hold him up, they couldn't all crumble at the same damned time. He wanted answers. He wanted to hurt whoever had hurt Merlin. He wanted to run up to the physician's chambers right now and shake the old man silly until he explained everything he knew. And then he wanted to do the same to Merlin. Because why? Why the hell had he gone and done something like this? Did he not feel appreciated? Did he not feel loved? What were they meant to do? Had he gone to someone? Confided in them? Had they kept quiet? Or worse.

Gwaine shuddered as he remembered the many nights he and Merlin had spent in this very tavern talking. Had Merlin been confiding in him and he was too foolish to realise? Had he let his friend suffer alone?

Gwaine tightened his grip around Arthur's shoulders. He'd never let it happen again.

It was well past midnight, but neither of them cared. Arthur and Gwaine made their way past the night guard back to the physician's chambers, ignoring the looks they got as they passed. It must have been a strange sight. The king and his knight, stumbling through the dark, holding each other up, cheeks wet with tears but eyes determined and gleaming. They'd drunk too much, and now they couldn't bear the wait till morning.

They knocked on the door. No-one answered.

Of course they wouldn't, it's the middle of the night.

Arthur raised his fist to knock again, when the latch clicked, the knob turned and the door swung open soundlessly. He was expecting Gaius, but instead, it was Merlin standing there on the threshold.

Gwaine looked overjoyed, but Arthur took two steps back.

His throat felt like it was closing over.

"Hey." Said Merlin.

Gwaine embraced him in a hug.

Arthur took another step back.

"Hey." He forced out at last, then swallowed hard. He was suddenly very sober.

Merlin moved out of the doorway to reveal the dark of the physician's chambers. "You want to come in?"

"Where's Gaius?" Arthur wished it didn't sound like an accusation.

"Out."

Gwaine put his hand behind Arthur's shoulder and dragged him through the door by the shirt.

The door clicked closed behind them.

It was silent in the physician's chambers and it was very dark.

Merlin sat on his bed, hands folded, waiting as Arthur and Gwaine just stared at him. He owed them an explanation, he knew, but he thought he'd have longer to figure one out. Gaius had been easier because Gaius knew. He really knew. And he'd let Merlin be genuine for just long enough to lift some of the weight that pulled at his shoulders. But Arthur? Arthur didn't know, and he couldn't. He could never understand.

Gwaine suddenly shifted and came to sit beside Merlin on the bed. He wrapped an arm around Merlin's shoulders and pulled him in.

"Talk to us, Merls. What's been going on?" His eyes were so full of concern, and compassion. Merlin felt like someone had his heart in a vice.

"You wouldn't understand." He whispered.

"We can't if you don't talk to us." That was Arthur. He was standing away from the bed, looking at the ground. And then he looked up.

"Whatever it is Merlin, you can tell me."

And Merlin almost believed it. He wanted to believe it, so badly. He wanted to just come clean. But. Looking into Arthur's eyes, he saw hurt, confusion.. and trust. Trust that would be broken so quickly if he were to say exactly why he was so tired of life. So instead, Merlin's eyes found the floor, he shrugged and sighed.

"I'm just tired."

He heard Arthur's sigh.

"Don't worry, Sire." Tears brimmed in his eyes. "It won't happen again."

And for a second, Merlin thought Arthur was going to drop it. That he'd leave again and they'd get back to a sense of normal. That they'd forget this ever happened. Merlin would go back to drowning in destiny in peace. But he didn't drop it. Neither did Gwaine, who pulled Merlin against him even tighter.

"We're here for you, Merlin." said the knight in his ear.

And Arthur, King of Camelot, knelt on the cold stone ground of the physician's chambers and looked up at him. "Talk to us, Merlin."

"I can't," Merlin said, and he wished he didn't feel like crying. "You're both drunk."

Gwaine flashed him half a smile.

Arthur said nothing.

The moment dragged on too long and the tears Merlin had been so carefully holding back began to fall.

"Take all the time you need, Merlin."

It was one of the last things Arthur had said to him that night before he left. But Merlin was back at work the next morning. It didn't make sense to stay away. He could walk, which meant he was more than capable of looking after Arthur. Besides, Gaius said it would be good for him to get out again. The sunshine would lift his spirits or something like that. Even though it was raining.

Gwaine had left once Merlin stopped crying, but Arthur stayed till the break of dawn. And they'd talked. All night long.

He hadn't told Arthur the truth of what was going on, but something in him felt lighter just knowing he cared. And maybe the whole thing wasn't quite so hopeless. Gaius certainly hadn't thought so. And he really knew what was going on.

The door came open with a creak, and Merlin instinctively looked up, though he knew who was coming. Arthur.

In the daylight, he could see the circles of sleeplessness under the king's eyes, but the King smiled at him all the same.

"Good to see you back to it," He came over to slap Merlin on the shoulder.

Merlin smiled, and kept sweeping, Arthur's hand lingered. Abruptly, the king pulled him into a hug.

"Don't ever do that to me again." He murmured in Merlin's ear.

"I won't," Merlin whispered back.

"Promise me you're alright."

"I…"

Merlin wasn't sure he was alright. The weight had lifted, but it lingered out of view, just waiting to crush him at the next opportunity.

"I'm okay." He said. And all he could do was hope that it would one day be true. Just like a united Camelot. A dream, maybe not unreachable.

At least not as unreachable as he thought.