Author's note: It has been a while! With NaNoWriMo, other fics to update, and the holidays, I've been busy, but I'm still here, promise!
Ghost on the Couch
April 3 (part three)
On the walk down the stairs and to the car, Maddie did not try to talk to him. Danny wondered if he should say something. What would make her happy? Should he tell her something that happened in the therapy session?
But he didn't want to tell her.
But he could, maybe, if it would make her less mad at him. If it would make her just a little less disappointed in him to know she wasn't wasting money and time on this therapy.
Except she definitely was wasting money and time on it. But he could maybe make her believe it was somehow helping him.
Danny lowered himself into the passenger seat of Maddie's car and buckled his seat belt. Maddie slipped into the driver's side and started the engine. Still so quiet. Should he wait for her to ask something first? Should he wait for her permission to speak?
She turned to him with a sigh and stroked the hair on the back of his neck. "I know Brandan said it went great," she said softly. "But what did you think about the session today?"
Her touch was so gentle, so kind. He could almost cry with relief that she didn't seem mad at him. "It was...okay," he stammered. "Um, yeah, not...not too bad."
"I'm glad to hear that."
She smiled.
Actually smiled.
He smiled back.
She pulled him a little closer and rested her chin on his head. "I feel really bad about what happened earlier."
Danny stayed still in her embrace. An apology of his own was caught in his throat, but he wasn't sure how to get it out.
"I know you didn't want to do this. And I know it's your birthday. It means so much to me that you still did it, but I really wish I was nicer about it." She gripped him tighter. "I do care about your birthday, sweetie. Your birthday means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me."
So much emotion was building, shaking his chest. "I know," Danny murmured.
Maddie released her hold and held him at arm's length, her hands sliding down his shoulders. "You're still grounded, but I don't want you to think I care more about punishing you than celebrating another year that you've been with us." She touched his cheek. "With me."
As a child, Danny used to giggle whenever his mom touched his face like this. But now as a teen, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to respond to such affection.
"Thanks," he said quietly. "I'm sorry for what happened, too."
Maddie hummed and traced her fingers behind his ear. She then faced forward and backed the car out of the parking spot. "Well. Let's go home, then."
The drive home was quiet but not unpleasant. Danny fired off a dozen comments in his head, anything that he thought would maybe make his mom even happier, but he could not bring himself to say any of them out loud. A few came right to the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed them back once he started considering the possible responses she might have. He didn't want to risk ruining anything.
He knew this was a cognitive distortion, but he really didn't want to figure out which one right now.
Maddie pulled up to the curb in front of their house. Danny got out of the car and stared at the ground as he walked toward the front door. He wished he could just go to bed now. Maybe his mom would let him skip dinner if he said he was tired. Or maybe she'd let him eat it in his room. Maybe she could at least let him have that on his birthday.
Maddie placed a hand on his shoulder. Danny almost jumped at the contact but then relaxed and allowed her to guide him and even open the door for him.
The rich smell of vanilla instantly hit his nose. Was someone baking? Who? His dad only ever burned things and Jazz always studied for hours after school.
He walked ahead of Maddie into the kitchen. Jack, Jazz, Sam, and Tucker were all there crowding around the counters and oven.
"Danny! You're home!" cried Jazz, holding a mixing bowl with stray bits of frosting stuck in her hair.
"Surprise!" cheered Sam and Tucker.
Danny stared at them. "What are you two doing here?"
"Your mom called and told us to come over for your birthday," said Tucker.
Maddie came up behind Danny and gave his shoulder a squeeze.
"Yeah, so we decided to bake you another cake!" said Sam. "It's in the oven right now."
"I helped!" Jack beamed.
Danny worriedly glanced at the oven.
Jazz laughed. "Don't worry, he just put it in for us. But look!" She showed him the fluffy contents of her mixing bowl. "Homemade frosting! You wanna try some and tell me if you like it?"
Jazz grabbed a small spoon and scooped up some frosting. Danny took the spoon and placed it in his mouth. The sugary fluff ebbed over his tongue and lingered so sweetly even after he swallowed. "Wow, that's good."
"Really? You like it?" said Jazz.
"I do." Danny licked the spoon clean. "You really made that yourself? You didn't buy it like that?"
"Yup, I found a recipe online and gave it a shot!" Jazz took the spoon from him and tossed it in the sink.
Danny looked at the mixing bowl in Jazz's hands, at Sam checking on the cake in the oven, at Tucker and Jack loading dishes into the dishwasher.
"You guys didn't have to do all this, you know," said Danny.
"Of course we did!" said Tucker. "It's your birthday, dude."
"And we wanted to," said Sam. "You and Tucker tried to bake me a cake on my birthday, so I feel like the least I can do is show you how to do it right."
"Hey, that wasn't our fault," said Tucker. "You wanted a vegan and gluten-free cake. You know how hard it is to make a cake without eggs, milk, and flour?"
"It's not hard at all, tech boy."
Danny smiled as his two friends engaged in their normal mock banter.
After dinner, Danny once again had to endure everyone singing to him as he sat at the kitchen table in front of his frosted vanilla cake. All sixteen candles were lit this time. Their warmth licked at his chin and cheeks.
"Okay dude, wish for something good," said Tucker. "Like maybe the newest Firefight to get an early release."
"You can wish that on your own birthday," said Sam.
"My birthday's already passed!"
"Now, now, you kids remember we don't like to promote superstitions like that. We're scientists in this house." Maddie stood behind Danny and patted his shoulders. "But go ahead and blow them out, sweetie."
Danny glanced at Tucker's face. He was raising and waggling his eyebrows, a silent nudge for him to go ahead and make a wish anyway; his mom would never know!
But he had already made it to his sixteenth birthday. Did he really deserve anything beyond that? His next birthday? His eighteenth birthday? That seemed like a big one.
Before, he couldn't imagine this day at all, hadn't been sure he even wanted to get to his sixteenth birthday. But now, with everyone beside him and sharing this moment, he was glad he was still here.
And maybe it would be nice if he could keep going a little longer.
He wished to make it to his eighteenth birthday and blew out the candles.
Afterward, Danny, Sam, and Tucker headed upstairs to Danny's room.
"Just one hour," Maddie called after them as she rinsed cake crumbs and frosting off each plate in the sink. "Then Sam and Tucker have to leave. It's a school night and you're still grounded, Danny."
"Thanks, Mrs. Fenton!" called back Sam and Tucker.
In his room, Danny moved his desk chair to be closer to Sam and Tucker on the bed. They presented their gifts to him, each wrapped in the same galaxy wrapping paper.
"We wrapped them together before we came over," explained Tucker.
Danny opened Tucker's gift first, a black and white gaming headset with LED lighting.
"You're always asking to borrow mine when we play together at my house, so I thought you should have your own!" Tucker grinned. "And this one has lights that change from blue to green! I thought it was fitting for you."
Danny took the headset out of the box and placed it over his head and ears. "How do I look?"
"Awesome," said Tucker.
"Really good," said Sam.
Suspicions that they were just being sarcastic or teasing him crept into his mind, but that was a thinking error, he knew that.
Disqualifying the positive.
Danny opened Sam's gift next, a mini sandbox playset that resembled the surface of the moon.
"It comes with little shovels and rakes and moon rocks that you can dig for," said Sam.
"And little spacemen too!" Tucker picked up one of the astronaut figurines and inspected it.
Danny held up the figurine that resembled his ghostly alter ego. "Did this really come with it?"
"No, no, I made that myself." Sam took the Danny Phantom figurine from his hand and set it in the sandbox, right on the edge of one of the moon craters. "Now Danny Phantom can go to the moon whenever he wants."
Danny chuckled fondly at the sight of himself on the moon's surface. Maybe someday that could be real.
"He looks amazing," said Danny. "I forget that you're a really good artist sometimes."
"Thanks," said Sam with a modest smile. "Anyway, it's supposed to be good for meditation. You know, relaxing."
Meditation? Relaxing? Was she trying to hint at something? Did she think he needed to calm down?
Jumping to conclusions.
Right, yes, he couldn't just assume he knew what Sam was trying to say beyond her actual words. What were the steps that Brandan gave him again?
Identify the thinking error. Done. Then examine the evidence. Sam said the sandbox set was good for meditation and relaxing. That was all.
Talking through the evidence. Sam didn't say directly she thought Danny needed to relax. She didn't even mention him or say his name. She was talking to him, sure, but her words were only about the sandbox playset.
Examine the conclusions and come up with possible positive alternatives to his negative conclusion. She was simply telling him the benefits of the playset. Those benefits would be good for anyone, not just him. Everyone could benefit from something that helped them relax. She wasn't saying that he needed it more than others. She was just making conversation, just letting him know.
"Danny?" said Sam.
Danny blinked. "Hmm?"
"You zoned out for a minute there, buddy," said Tucker.
"Oh." Danny shook out his head. "Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking about something…" He paused, hesitated. He hadn't been sure before if he wanted to bring up his therapy again. But they knew now, and he still had five more sessions, five more times he'd have to tell them sorry, he couldn't hang out because he had to go to therapy.
He had to just tell them. Get it out there. He had to know what they really thought about it.
"Something my therapist told me," he finished quietly.
No one spoke for a moment.
"We didn't mean to say earlier that we think you need therapy," said Sam.
"Yeah," said Tucker. "It came out wrong."
"We don't think anything is wrong with you, Danny," said Sam.
"I know." Danny propped his elbow on one of his desk chair armrests and pressed his forehead into his palm. "I know you didn't mean it that way. And I'm really sorry I yelled at you. It's just been so...stressful. Having to do this each week, having to talk to this guy."
"How many times have you seen him?" asked Tucker.
"Three. And I have to go five more times before my mom will let me quit."
"That doesn't sound too bad," said Sam.
Danny groaned. "I just hate it. I hate how I feel when I'm there. I hate how he keeps picking at things I don't want to pick at. And I know maybe you guys don't think something is wrong with me, but my mom does. She's really hoping I'll come out of this better." He slumped in his chair. "And I don't want to disappoint her when I get done with that eighth session and I'm still the same useless unhappy son to her."
"Don't say that, Danny." Sam frowned.
"But it's true," Danny insisted. "I can't tell the therapist about my real problems, like how I'm tired all the time because I'm up all night fighting ghosts. Or how I'm always paranoid that some ghost hunter is going to catch me off guard."
"Okay, but none of that makes you useless," said Sam. "You know it doesn't."
Danny looked at the floor and said nothing.
"Well, even if you can't talk about your ghost problems, I at least hope your therapist can convince you you're not useless." Sam leaned back on her hands on Danny's bed.
"So you do think I could use some therapy?" asked Danny, not feeling angry this time, only curious and defeated.
Sam blew out a hard breath through her lips. "Not because I think anything is wrong with you, just because… Well, I think sometimes talking to someone who knows what they're doing isn't a bad idea."
"Yeah," said Tucker. "Maybe he can't help you with everything going on in your life, but there might be one thing you'll get out of it when you're done. Maybe even two things!"
"And listen, tell you what." Sam hunched and leaned closer to Danny. "My parents have been talking about having me see a therapist, too. I could get them to do it, and then we'd both be seeing someone! Then you wouldn't be doing it alone."
"I would not want to be your therapist, Sam," said Tucker with a laugh.
Sam glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Tucker held up his hands in surrender. "Nothing. It means nothing."
Danny smiled. "Thanks, Sam, but you don't have to do that for me. I only have to do it five more times, and then it'll be over." He shrugged. "And maybe you're right. Maybe I'll get one thing out of it."
"Or two!" said Tucker.
"Sure. Maybe two things."
"And we'll always be around to hang out afterwards," said Sam. "Except for the times you're grounded, of course."
"Yeah, try to get grounded a little less often if you can," said Tucker.
Danny chuckled. "I'll try."
A knock sounded at the door before it opened. Maddie stood in the doorway. "Time's up, kids. Danny needs to get started on his homework."
Sam and Tucker got up from the bed. "Thanks for letting us come over, Mrs. Fenton," said Sam.
"Thanks for coming. Do you two need rides?"
"Yeah, actually, that'd be great!"
Sam and Tucker wished Danny a final happy birthday before leaving the room with Maddie. Danny leaned back in his desk chair with a sigh and looked around his room, at all the gifts from his family and friends on his bed.
He had really done it. He had made it to and now past his sixteenth birthday.
And it ended up not being such a bad birthday after all.