Chapter Thirty-Eight: Goodbye to You
"Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that I knew." – Michelle Branch
Wednesday - September 28, 2005 - Angela
The trip back to my parent's house was painful, both physically uncomfortable and emotionally draining. I had become fixated on the realization that I no longer thought of it as home. That concept of family had been replaced, and I had to face the truth that my parents were going to be strangers. Memories, eventually so old as to be distant and indistinct. Intellectually I knew that happens in mortal life as well, as children grow up and leave home. Emotionally, I just wanted my parents to hold me and tell me I was going to be okay.
Deep down, I knew I was lucky to find a new place to call home so quickly. Except a large piece of that new definition of home was missing, perhaps never to be found again. With Tahlia gone, I still had the rest of my new family, and the children she had left with me to raise potentially by myself. I had to believe she would never have left if she had known. Yet I wondered how she would react if she ever found out, would she be happy, sad, angry or god forbid indifferent?
But that was the rub, by the weekend I would be very pregnant, already past my first trimester. I hadn't even fully internalized the fact I was going to be a mother, combined with a life altering change to my physiology at the same time. A mother and a vampire, they seemed almost counter-intuitive, and it was too much to think about for any length of time without feeling like reality was pushing in on me. Yet I couldn't help but dwell on it. In a month I was going to have a vastly different life, one I couldn't fully comprehend yet.
"Are you ready for this?" Rose asked, flashing me a sympathetic smile.
"No, but I don't have a choice. In a couple of days it'll be too late. I just hope tonight isn't some long drawn out fight, I don't want that to be my last memory of them." I wrapped my arms around my belly and looked out the window, as the familiar landmarks of outer Forks started to pass us by.
"I can tell you, memories aren't the problem. If tonight is awful as you put it, you will be able to access all of the good ones from your entire human life instead. They are a bit hazy, like dreams, but easy to recall for us." She frowned slightly, as I thought about her horrible last moments as a human.
"I guess that means we keep the bad stuff too." I said, although I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to bring up.
"They can be more important sometimes. Pain is a good motivator, it helped me with my vengeance on Royce." She said with a surprisingly wide smile.
"Vengeance?" I looked over at her and she nodded.
"I hunted each and every one of those bastards that hurt me, saving Royce until the end. He knew death was coming for him, and the horror on his face when he realized it was me made my entire quest for revenge worth it. I was a bit theatrical when I was young." My eyes went wide, and my eyebrows high. I hadn't expected that from her. She shook her head. "Don't take it the wrong way, I do not look back on my actions with pleasure, but I do not regret them either. The point is, our lives are more than just moments. You'll remember your parents as you want to remember them, holding on to the things you need to keep them in your heart."
"Thank you. For everything, you've been good to me, a good friend... that I can't wait to call sister." I could see her eyes reflect the same affection I held for her back at me, and she reached out and squeezed my shoulder as we came to a stop.
"Here you are. I'll be close if you need me." She pulled her hand back and I looked over at my parents house feeling my heart in my throat. It looked like at least my mother was home, and I suddenly felt marginally terrified that my disappearance the day before would be cause for an argument. I hadn't looked back after finding Renée, in a way I hadn't really intended to ever go home again. But I needed to say goodbye, I needed them to know I loved them, to spend time with them. If only for a few hours.
I waved to Rosalie and pulled out my keys. The door opened as I reached for the handle, and my mother was there with tears in her eyes.
"Angela." She didn't seem upset. Then she pulled me into a tight and mildly uncomfortable hug.
"Mom." I said feeling confused, my voice muffled into her shirt.
"Carlisle called and told us what you did. I am so proud of you." She pushed me back to arm's length, her face filled with a pride I hadn't seen since my last report card came in with all A's.
"I didn't do that much, I just called an ambulance." I said with a small shrug, I had just done what they taught me to do growing up.
"She could've died, Carlisle said you probably saved her life." She said, still beaming at me.
"Maybe, but honestly I think she just needed someone to help her. I called her husband, and I understand they are going back to Florida." She nodded and caressed my hair before taking a deep breath.
"I made your favorite, I hoped you would be home tonight." She opened the door fully, and I caught a whiff of her homemade tomato sauce that took hours to stew properly.
"Please tell me you bought the sausage this time?" I flashed back to the last time she had made homemade Italian faux sausage and the vegan casing burst.
"Yes, I don't fancy cleaning fake meat off the wall for days." She smirked. "Dad will be home soon; he went to visit Renée at the hospital."
"Of course, did you make dessert?" I grinned, hoping that she had made her famous brownies.
"No, but your father wants to go out for ice cream after dinner." She said with a nod.
"I'm going to take a shower and clean up for dinner." I smiled at her happily, and she just nodded and started to hum to herself as she returned to the kitchen.
I watched her move around for a bit, taking in the image of her in the kitchen. Yet after less than a minute I had to run up to my room to avoid her seeing me cry. I wasn't sure I could make it through dinner, it was starting to feel impossible to say goodbye, but I didn't have a choice. I closed my door behind me and took a long hot shower to clear my mind and the heat helped. I looked down at my body, wondering what it would feel like as the pregnancy progressed? What would it feel like to be a vampire? I shook my head; I would know soon enough.
I put on a bit of makeup to hide how pale and drawn I had become, covering the circles under my eyes and brightening my face a little. I stared at myself in the mirror, checking out my human reflection. While I was still relatively myself, my belly was noticeably distended with a slight baby bump. The speed of the pregnancy was perplexing, you would think something that complex would require more time not less. Maybe the length of an elephant's pregnancy, not a rabbit's.
Nine days per day. That was like a day passing in my womb every two and a half hours. I could watch a movie and they… two of them… would grow a full day. I took a few deep breaths and let myself smile. I had to be happy even if my heart longed for Tahlia… it was strange how quickly my concept of the man I had first met changed as I accepted the truth. I wasn't sure if that made me gay or bi or if labels even mattered. All I knew was that I loved her utterly and completely.
Shaking off that train of thought, I tried to do something with my hair and picked out a dress my father had given me for a birthday present. The dress was a bit too fancy for a family dinner, but I wanted them to remember me looking my best. I was pretty sure they were going to hate me tomorrow no matter what I did. I made my way downstairs and was surprised to find dad already home and settled. He reached out a hand for me from his armchair, and I walked over to him and leaned over the back of the chair to give him a half hug.
"So proud of you sweetie." He said and then went back to his papers, a sermon already half completed on half a dozen small notebook pages. His preferred way of writing. I looked at the familiar scrawl of his nearly incomprehensible cursive and another pang of regret hit me hard. I would never hear him speak again unless I was in disguise or sitting somewhere outside the church using my vampire ears. I cursed under my breath, thankfully too low for him to hear.
"Could you help your mother set up, she said everything was nearly ready." He said looking up at me. I nodded and moved into the dining room and set up for dinner. Every clank and clang of every dish I set down frayed my nerves ever so slightly. Then we were sitting down, and a plate of my favorite food was set before me. I was excited to dig in, until the smell of it hit me, and it turned my stomach. A wave of nausea overwhelmed my appetite, and I had to fight to keep myself from throwing up on the table.
"Excuse me." I smiled as they both started to reach out to say grace, and I ran upstairs. The pancakes from earlier that morning coming up like white glue.
I cleaned up and frantically searched my medicine cabinet for anything to settle my stomach long enough to get through my last meal with my family. Thankfully, there was a box of long-lasting antacid in the bottom drawer, shoved between my tub of forgotten makeup and the last of my tampons which thankfully I would never need again. I cleaned up and rinsed out my mouth a few times with water. I hoped they couldn't hear me downstairs, the last thing I needed was for them to think I was sick, or worse pregnant. I bounded down the stairs trying to look carefree and happy and sat down and reached out my hands to say grace. They were both staring at me but took my hands anyway.
"Lord, bless this food we are about to share, thankful for the bounty you have gifted us. Bless this family and protect them as we move into a different phase or our lives. Amen." Dad keeping it simple was a nice change, he grinned self-consciously. We had been giving him a hard time for years to not sermonize at the dinner table.
"Amen." Mom and I said in unison.
"This looks great." Dad said with a big grin, swirling a large amount of pasta onto his fork and closing his eyes as he ate the first bite.
I smiled as I started to eat, and while everything was perfect, it tasted awful in my mouth. I choked down a few bites, before looking over at mom and then at dad to get their attention.
"I know the next few months are going to be difficult. But I wanted you both to know how much I appreciate everything you have done for me, and everything you have taught me. I love you both so much." I couldn't stop the tears from coming but tried to hold them back so I didn't lose it and looked too suspicious.
"We love you too sweetie, but what brought this on?" Dad said putting down his fork and spoon.
"I'm going to be graduating soon and leaving home, and I wanted to make sure you knew how I felt. There are never enough chances to say something important. Especially when it needs to be said." I managed a warm smile, despite feeling like my heart was breaking in two.
"Thank you honey. It's nice to know you feel that way. I'm glad we could be there for you, and I know I haven't been the most affectionate, but you can always reach out to me. We're just a phone call away." Mom said, putting a hand over mine and squeezing slightly. "Although, I have to say I am so glad you are moving past that mistake with that boy." I tried not to react, but I couldn't help but cast my eyes downward to avoid looking my father in the eye and giving away too much.
"It wasn't his fault, there was a family emergency. We're still going to school together in the fall." I regretted it almost immediately after I said it, as both frowned.
"Well, that's fine then. It was just that you were so upset last week." Mom didn't look convinced, as if she could tell that I was putting up a false front.
"We had a great evening, and then he got a phone call late. He left the next morning. I talked to him just yesterday, and he's going to have to skip the rest of this semester, but he'll be back in the fall when I start." I said, hiding my expression behind another mouthful of food. It tasted like ash, and I really had to force it down. My stomach was not happy with me at all, but at least I was keeping the food down this time.
"Speaking of the fall, you need to get back to school if you plan on graduating. I got a call from your principal last week about your lousy attendance this semester. Now we understand you've been grieving over Bella, but it is time you got yourself together and buckled down to finish up this year." Dad said sternly, letting out the thing he had been holding back for a while. I nodded, feeling awful for lying to him. I knew I would graduate high school… eventually, but maybe not for another decade.
"I will father. I know I have been moody and difficult; I promise I'll be better. Mom, thank you for dinner, but I'm already feeling full. May I be excused until we're ready to go out?" She nodded, and I stood and went upstairs at a painfully normal speed as my stomach began to turn over. Once I was back in my room, I shut my door and bathroom door and let go of the dinner that had balled up in my stomach. I sat on the floor next to the toilet and tried to figure out what to do next. I cleaned up again and went out into my room. I put my guitar in its case and packed a bag. Then I went to my window and opened it and felt a lift as I was greeted with fresh evening air.
"Rose?" I called out, knowing she was within earshot.
"Nope, but I hope I'll do." Bella said as she launched herself into my window from a nearby tree.
"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but where's Rose?" I was worried that Bella might be seen by someone who would recognize her.
"She's watching to make sure Renée leaves with Phil, just in case her new talent goes sideways." Bella winced slightly; she was talking about her own mother after all.
"Sounds like a fun evening. I was hoping I could hand off the things I want to take with me. My guitar and some of my favorite clothes." I said pointing towards the things I had gathered.
"Of course, I'll get them stowed in Rose's car. When's ice cream?" She asked with a smile.
"Probably another twenty minutes or so, after the twins are fed." I guessed, it wasn't like they kept to strict timetables when it came to dinner.
"Do you know what you're going to do?" Bella sat on the edge of my bed, and I plopped down near the headboard, pulling a pillow into my lap.
"Honestly, I have no idea. I think the only way this works is if I write a note, I don't think I can force an argument with them." I had been thinking over the options, and none of them felt very good.
"We could fake your death tomorrow." She offered with a deep frown, knowing how things went with her own fake death it was interesting to hear her suggest it.
"They would need to see a body, they would never accept it otherwise. I won't be able to pretend like you did for another month at least." I shook my head, it just wouldn't work logistically for my situation.
"And you won't be able to hide your belly for much longer either. Yeah, running away is the only option." She frowned, her expression matching my own inner struggle.
"I mentioned that Mason had gone home for the semester, they don't really know where he lives but I can see them calling the Cullen's to get an address. Mason's lie made perfect sense at the time." I grumbled. "Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive."
"I always liked that quote, although lately it feels a bit too apt. Can I ask what was the lie?" She looked curious about the reasons behind yet another lie.
"Oh, he said that he was staying in Forks during the weekends because he was old friends with Emmett." I explained simply, not wanting to get into more detail.
"Great, well that cuts out one option. Do you know what you're going to write yet?" She asked, trying to be supportive, I just shook my head.
"I need some time Bella; I'll see you later tonight." I gave her a hug, and she nodded, grabbing my stuff and disappearing out the window with one last smile. Then I went to my desk and pulled out the stationary I had purchased on a whim on a trip to Port Angeles with Bella, Alice and Rosalie a few months back and started to write.
Dear Mom and Dad,
This is impossible to write, and it is hard to know where to begin, but I must give you something to explain what I am about to do. I don't know exactly where I am going yet, but I need to build a new life for myself. I have never wanted to go to college, and my time in Forks high has been miserable. My friendship with Bella and Alice helped push away my feelings of being alone. It kept the anger and depression I have been struggling with for years at bay for a while. With Bella gone, I just don't have anything left. It was just one last straw when Mason left to be with his family. The last thing I want is to cause either of you pain, but I have to do this for myself. Someday I will reach back out, and maybe we can rebuild our relationship. I just hope by then you have forgiven me.
Love, Angela
I just finished putting it in an envelope when I heard my father on the stairs. He knocked a moment later.
"We're headed out, are you still coming?" He said in a normal voice that it was difficult to read.
"Yes, give me a moment, I'm just finishing something up." I said as I sealed the envelope and wrote their names on the front of it, To Jezebel and Franklin Webber. I placed it on top of my pillow and grabbed my long trench. The last thing I needed was to catch a cold from the chilly autumn rain that was starting to fall.
We all piled in the SUV, with me sandwiched between two car seats. I was a little uncomfortable, but at least I could play with the twins as we headed out. The ice cream shoppe was busy for a Wednesday evening, and there wasn't a place to sit and eat. So we all ordered to go, and mom had to balance it all on her lap. Three blocks from home we were stopped at a red light, and dad reached over and took his milkshake with a big lopsided grin. Mom just shook her head at him and motioned towards the light. He started forward, just as I caught something out of the corner of my eye coming from the left. I turned to see the truck barreling down on us a split second before it hit, just long enough to let out a scream.
I could feel the impact, and my body being thrown against my brother's car seat. I could feel the car flipping over and skidding along the asphalt. I could see my father's lifeless eyes in the rear-view mirror and could hear my mother scream just before her head slammed into the passenger window. I heard my brother Isaac crying briefly before his voice cut off abruptly. Then just as we came to a stop I felt myself starting to fade, the world began to spiral and my eyes fluttered closed as I was plunged into a deep endless darkness.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - Bella
I was keeping my distance, making sure no human spotted me. Then I heard the tearing of metal, and the screeching of tires. Then there was shattering glass, and the gut wrenching screams of pain and death. Without much thought I tore through the streets to the twisted hulk of metal. The SUV was smashed like a bug on one side, and lying upside down at the bottom of the two-foot ditch meant for drainage. I ripped the rear door nearly off its hinges and ducked into the wreckage. I wasn't expecting the blood, it was overwhelming. But I reigned in my control and stopped breathing, which helped immensely.
Angela was hanging by her seatbelt, sandwiched between her brothers. At first I thought it was a bit of a blessing. Until I caught sight of the right side of her head pouring blood from the same cut that had only just healed over from where James had knocked her out. Fearing the worst but knowing there was no way she could be seen by a normal doctor, I momentarily hesitated about what to do. Then as gently as I could manage, which was immeasurably more delicate then I would've been capable of as a human, I pulled her out of her seat and into my arms. I glanced at the rest of the family, debating briefly about what I should do for them.
As I was about to get out and attempt to right their vehicle, I heard sirens in the distance. I listened closely for any indication that I was being watched, but the only voice I could hear was the truck driver on his cell phone. I scanned the area and quickly located the driver, thankfully his back was turned towards me. Then with total focus on keeping Angela as still as possible, I began to run towards home. Once I reached the natural limits of hearing for anyone in the house, I called out.
"Help, I need help!" I hadn't realized how frantic I was until I heard my own voice. Carlisle was there in less than ten seconds and his curious expression turned deadly serious.
"God, Angela. What happened?" He looked at her and then carefully checked her vitals.
"She was in a massive car crash with her entire family. I didn't think she should be seen by doctors, so I brought her here. I know I shouldn't have moved her, but I wasn't sure what else to do." He shook his head and flashed me a soft smile.
"No, you probably did the right thing. How are the rest of them?" He was leading me back to the house at this point, and then quickly towards his office. He had outfitted his office with a medical bed for a potential home birth for Angela already, and he had me lay Angela down as carefully as I could manage. Then moving at a pace that would make any nurse or doctor's head spin he went setting up Angela with every kind of monitoring equipment and intravenous tube I could imagine. She looked so broken, her face was puffy, and her lips were cracked. Both of her eyes were blackening, and her right shoulder was hanging loose from its socket and her chest was moving unevenly with a deep and scary wheezing sound escaping her every time she breathed in or out.
"Bella! Tell me everything as quickly as you can." Carlisle shouted at me, it startled me and brought me back to the moment.
"Sorry, okay they were hit on the left side by a semi-truck. I don't think they were going very fast, but the truck was moving at around forty miles per hour. The truck pushed them into a ditch and onto its roof. Angela was in the back seat, wedged between the twin's car seats. I glanced at each of the others, but I wasn't sure what to do. I'm pretty sure her father is dead and one of her brother's wasn't breathing. I was almost at the point of relenting to my thirst, because there was a lot of blood. But I managed to gain control, and disengaged her seat belt and made sure I didn't move her neck. Then I got her out of the truck as best I could without jostling her and brought her here as fast as I dared run." Carlisle was already at work; he had her clothes removed and had set her shoulder within seconds. After that he inserted a tube into her side, between a couple of ribs and there was a soft whooshing sound and immediately her breathing got better.
"She is stabilized for now, but I need to get her into surgery. Without x-rays I have no idea the extent of her injuries. Rose, I need you to bring around Emmett's truck we're taking her to the hospital. At the very least I can check on her family as well." Carlisle's beeper went off as he finished. "Speaking of which. Bella there isn't anything more you could've done, but right now I need to make a call and coordinate Angela's travel to the hospital."
"I thought you had an x-ray machine in here?" He was picking up his office phone and then slammed it down in frustration.
"Bella, she needs to be in a hospital!" I shook my head, and suddenly I realized why he was so adamant about taking her there.
"Oh, you want to get rid of the baby." He shot me a look of minor disappointment, and then shook his head in disgust.
"No, never. She made her decision, and I will always respect her wishes. But the baby can't be the primary concern here, and at the moment that is the only reason why she isn't in a hospital right now. Precious seconds are wasting as we debate this. We don't have the time to be cavalier about her health." I squared my shoulders at him and stood my ground.
"You are forgetting that she chooses this life too. We have a solution for her right here, if she takes a turn for the worse, we change her into one of us." Carlisle closed his eyes and sat down defeated. Then he picked up the phone and called the hospital.
"This is Dr. Cullen checking in. Yes, I'll be there as soon as I can." He slammed down the phone in a show of uncharacteristic anger.
"I'll do what I can do here, but it will never be a clean environment. If I can stabilize her I'll let her stay. Then I'm going to pull her family through this. Alice will come with me, if Angela's condition changes at all, call her and I'll be here as quickly as I can." He started to move to organize the room. "Esme?" He said with more meaning than just her name. My adoptive mother glided in and pulled me into a great hug. I buried my face in her chest and let myself cry, despite the lack of tears.
"I'll do what I can Carlisle, but you know that I'll need you here if anything happens." Esme was firm, but compassionate towards her husband. Then she released me. Alice and Rosalie came up next to me and Rosalie took my hand and interlaced our fingers. She pulled my hand up and kissed the back of it two times in quick succession and gave me a look that told me everything I needed to know. She would do whatever I needed, and I felt more love for her in that moment than I thought was possible.
Then we watched as Carlisle and Esme moved around creating as sterile a workspace as possible. Within minutes it looked like a scene out of M.A.S.H., with the odd juxtaposition of a surgical area created in a normal office environment. Then he began his work, unhampered by human witnesses, what would normally have been a six or seven-hour surgery took him only half an hour. Esme was the perfect nurse, anticipating his needs before he even asked her.
Without a word of her prognosis Carlisle was off to the hospital, not even bothering to use his car. Alice followed behind, in his car to keep up appearances, and to act as a relay. Esme took off her surgical gown and gloves, then she took the time to make sure things were functioning properly. Then she turned to meet my eyes, her expression lost and grief stricken.
"We caught every bleeder we could find, and her blood pressure and heart-rate are normal, so we're confident she won't succumb to her internal injuries. Unfortunately, she suffered major head trauma and cerebral swelling. We relieved the pressure, which means there is a good chance she'll recover, if she wakes up in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours. I'll get the EEG to check for brain activity, but I'm worried. If she doesn't wake up, it means the brain damage was too significant." Esme wasn't clinical or detached, her voice was wavering and her body trembling from the overwhelmed emotions. Rose and I both took an arm and helped her into a nearby chair, holding onto her as she continued. I looked at my friend, sister, hooked up to machines that were keeping her alive. The ventilator from Alice's vision was rhythmically pumping away along with the steady beat of her heart.
"Did you check on the babies?" I asked, but unable to look away from Angela.
"We couldn't get a heart monitor to read, and Carlisle was focused on saving Angela. Assuming the children are like us, I can imagine they are doing much better than their mother. If things turn out for the worst, we can keep her alive to bring the baby to term" I pressed myself into her again and felt her reassuring hug, the kind of hug only a mother could give. It felt right, and utterly wrong at the same time.
"Thanks Esme, I don't know what I would do without all of you." Esme looked at me curiously as I said this. "I mean that I'm thankful, happy to be a part of your lives." She smiled and nodded in agreement. "Do you think that our venom could fix her?" Esme nodded again and sighed wistfully at Angela.
"Venom can reverse the damage done to her body, but I don't know what will happen with her mind. That kind of trauma, brain damage and losing her entire family. We'll need to be patient with her, she may be an incredibly volatile newborn." Esme said thoughtfully, but I could see a twinge of doubt in her eyes.
"I'll do whatever I can to help her." Rose said from across the room. She had moved next to Angela, and took hold of her hand.
"I'll help too." Charlie said from the corner of the room. I had been so focused on Angela I hadn't even heard him come in. Yet in the back of my mind I knew he had been there since the beginning watching in his bizarrely detached way. I felt guilty that my shield let me be myself, whereas he had to literally cut off the physiological process of emotions to curb his impulses.
"Are you sure?" I asked Esme, worried about the brain damage.
"I was remarkably close to death when Carlisle found me. The injuries I had sustained were worse than Angela's, so yes I'm confident we can bring her back." Esme said with a sad smile, I wanted to know more but wasn't sure now was the time.
"Will you tell me your story one day?" I asked hopefully.
"Yes, but not right now. You should prepare yourself for the possibility that you may not be able to talk to her until her pregnancy comes to term. I know they wouldn't survive that process." The sympathy and sorrow in her voice was hard to hear but comforting at the same time.
I hugged her one last time and headed downstairs. I felt something brewing inside, a turmoil that I couldn't describe. Then it hit me, Angela had done the exact same thing for me. She had run in to save me when no one else would, and now she was even worse off than I was. I had been wrong about what I would do, I wasn't a coward like I had always imagined. It was a strange thing to reconcile, but it felt good in a way. Until I felt a serious pain surging up my spine, something major was about to hit me emotionally and all I could do was fall into the couch and wait. The dry tears came so thickly that I was practically inconsolable, until a familiar and welcome arm wrapped around my shoulders. Charlie pulled me into his strong arms and held me tightly for a while, until Rosalie came and took his place. I spent a long time holding her, until my crying jag was over. I had no concept of time, but eventually I was just content to let her hold me. Sitting there, curled in her arms, not needing to move or breathe I had found a peace I had never felt before.
"I love you Rose." I finally said, looking up at her and then pressing my lips to hers. She kissed me back tenderly, cupping my cheek.
"I love you Bella." She replied after we separated, and then leaned her forehead to mine.
Then my cell phone rang, its bouncy music signified that Alice was on the other end. I pulled the fragile plastic out of my pocket and answered. "Alice, how are they doing?" She stifled a sob and sniffed slightly. It was a bizarrely human sound, but it somehow sounded right for the situation.
"Mr. Webber and little Isaac are both dead. Mrs. Webber and Joshua are both clinging to life, but they are still in surgery. How's Angela, Carlisle was already busy when I got here, and I've been running into roadblocks to even get that much information." Alice sounded heartbroken, her voice was strained with emotion.
"She's unconscious. Esme said that if she didn't wake up, and soon, she probably wouldn't. I wish you were here; Charlie is an utter mess." I looked up as Charlie entered the room, and immediately scowled at me, and Alice let out a sad sounding chuckle on the other end.
"Tell him I'm here if he needs someone to talk to." Alice managed, despite the obvious pain in her voice.
"I think I'm going to check on Angela, it's been a while and I've left her alone too long." I said and untangled myself from my lover's embrace.
"Kay kay, I'll be here if you need me, and I'll call if anything changes." Alice sounded almost chipper, which was easy for her to fake. But it did brighten my mood a little, which after a moment of thought, was probably her intention.
"Talk to you soon, love you." I could almost hear her smiling on the other end, and a second later there was a click ending the call. I got up and whispered a 'thank you' to Rose who just nodded with a somber expression. Then I moved quickly up to Carlisle's office. When I opened the door, I found Esme there, cradling Angela's hand and rubbing her stomach slightly.
"How's she doing?" Esme looked up at me startled, and then gave me a look of fear and pain that made me very aware of how much she loved Angela.
"Pretty much the same, at least her vitals are steady. But I did manage to get the fetal monitor to read, and I have some good news and some potentially bad news. I could detect a strong heartbeat, but not two. I'm afraid one of them is dead." I looked at Esme and shook my head, not ready to accept that yet, and then I rushed to Angela's side and pressed an ear softly onto her exposed belly and waited. I closed my eyes and listened, until after almost five minutes I heard a slight deviation and for a single heartbeat there were two separate beats.
"I can hear them; they both made it." I looked up and Esme's eyes were closed and she was actively weeping. Rose was at the door, and came over to me, taking my hand and pulling me close. Rose and I shared a happy moment, until a strange sound broke our silent celebration. I looked up to see Angela's blood bag empty out. "Do we have more?" Esme nodded and went about fitting another bag to the IV.
I leaned forward and kissed Angela on the forehead, "Now all you need to do is rest, and wake up if you can." We sat by her side for several hours, waiting. When finally, my cell phone rang. All three of us jumped slightly and laughed together as we realized what the noise was.
"Alice, I got some good news!" I said feeling optimistic about the future. "Tell me you do too."
"They're all gone, Angela's family is all gone. Carlisle just left. I've never seen him like that, Esme he's gonna need you. I'm on my way back now, please tell me Angela is awake." I have never heard Alice so distraught; it was rough to even think about her so upset. I choked back involuntary sobs and managed to get my voice back enough to talk again.
"No, but I confirmed both of her babies are alive." My voice was severely uneven, broken and wavering. But Alice sounded worse and she took a deep breath and swallowed hard to recover.
"I had forgotten to mention their hearts beat in perfect unison. I'm going to feed before I get there, I need some time alone. That is great news, but somehow, I can't sum up the happiness. I'll be home soon; I don't suppose Mason, Edward or Emmett have checked in?" Alice asked, and I looked over at Rose who shook her head.
"Not yet, but I'm not worried. The boys will be alright, I know it because I can't even think about the alternative." I closed the phone as the line went dead. Then pondered the possibility of losing Edward, Emmett and Mason. Not to mention Angela and her children. We had all suffered from far too much loss already, I had to believe they would all survive… somehow.
Author's Note:
Best laid plans and such, Alice solved one issue in the last chapter but couldn't find the line to keep Angela off the ventilator. This is a harsh reality, and it is meant to continue the themes of the consequences of choice and random chance. Sure there were no clear and cut moral choices here, it isn't like what Edward chose to not do. This was more like a butterfly effect finally hitting its climax event. Starting with Alice helping to push Angela and Bella together, Edward choosing not to save Bella, Bella deciding to become a vampire when she did, Angela being brought into the secret... it just keeps piling on to the point where they were there at the same time a random truck driver missed a red light at the eleventh hour of his shift and slammed into their car. If even one of the choices were different, this wouldn't have happened.
Next Chapter: A Kiss of Failure - Alice
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