Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the rasengun, but I own my original plots and canon divergences.
A/N: Naruto decides to be proactive in his training. Just to show that Naruto was OP from the beginning of the manga but never really tried.
TPOT
Chapter 1
Naruto woke up the next morning with weird memories. He could see the fight with Mizuki from a thousand different perspectives and had the memories of all of his shadow clones.
'Wait! Does that mean I can use shadow clones to learn things?' he wondered.
Naruto picked up one of his academy books, summoned ten shadow clones who tried to read the book, but they quickly came to punch and dispel each other because they couldn't all see the page at the same time. He got annoyed and summoned a new clone, handed him the book and waited for five minutes.
"Have you finished the page?" he asked.
"Yes, boss!" replied the clone, sounding dumb.
"Alright, then…"
Naruto punched the clone, who dispelled. A second later, the memories of the clone came back to him.
"Wooow…so…COOL!" exclaimed the boy.
He summoned twenty clones and made them read all the academy books. Then, he had a better idea. He made another twenty clones, and told the first ones to read the material to the second ones. His apartment got too crowded and the twenty different clones speaking at the same time made it impossible to understand anything.
"Crap, I'll need a better idea… I know! Guys! One of you will read aloud and everyone listens to him!"
"Yes, boss!" they replied together.
It wasn't the ideal, but it would be faster than doing it himself. At the end of the day, he received the memories of his barely attentive clones, but putting them together, he managed to get the entirety of the book down.
The next day, he decided to improve the method.
"Guys! Today, you're gonna take notes of the book! One of you reads aloud and everyone notes what they find important, useful, and all that!"
"Okay, boss!"
And they got to it. At the end of the afternoon, they had gone through the entire book and dispelled. Naruto got their memories back, trying to put them in order.
"Works better! When they write things, they pay more attention and I get summaries on top of that!"
Then, the boy went to a free training area and summoned several groups of forty clones and made them read all his books.
At the end of the week, he had caught up on all the theory from the academy. Now, he only had to start training to apply it.
TPOT
The next day, he got assigned to team 7 with Sakura – 'Yeees!' – and Sasuke – 'Urgh…' – and their team leader was late. Naruto summoned forty clones, filling the classroom, and started them on the leaf sticking exercise under the wide eyes of his two teammates.
"How can you make twenty solid clones?!" wondered Sakura, flabbergasted.
"I can't tell you, it's a forbidden technique," he replied with a grin.
"And where did you learn it then?"
"It's a secret!"
"Why do your clones train with the leaf sticking exercise?" asked Sasuke, this time.
"For now, I'm crappy at it. Chakra control is really not my best area. But you'll see in a few minutes, or hours, depending on how long it takes them…"
"I'm quite curious," commented Sakura.
Thirty minutes later, a clone dispelled, surprising the nearly sleeping trio.
"What happened?" asked Sakura.
"Just one of my clones who managed to do it. Now…"
Naruto took a leaf in his pocket and did it himself. On second try, it stuck. His clones were now getting it too.
"See? Now me and my clones are able to do it! What was the next step already? Two leaves?"
"How can you make so many clones?" asked Sasuke.
"I just can, that's all," replied Naruto, sticking out his tongue at the black haired boy.
TPOT
When Kakashi entered the classroom, it was to a really disturbing view. Forty blondes in orange clothing were looking at the ceiling with a desk stuck to their forehead, trying not to dispel each other.
"My first thoughts about this team is…" he started, surprising everyone and causing the clones to fall into chaos and dispel each other, the desks falling to the floor, "…looks like we're going to have fun!"
"Are you Kakashi Hatake, our team leader?" asked the pink haired girl.
"What the hell! You surprised me and dispelled all my clones! Now I can to make new ones to put the classroom back in shape!" exclaimed the orange menace.
"Yes, I'm your team leader."
"You're…LATE!" shouted the girl, pissed at him.
"Yeah! We've been waiting for you for four hours!" added the blonde.
The last member of his team seemed to care very little about the situation.
"But it seemed to me that you were using this time to improve your chakra control," retorted Kakashi. "Sticking a desk to your forehead, that's not easy for an academy student…"
"We're not academy students, we're ninjas!" replied the orange monstrosity.
"Not until the real test. The academy graduation exam is only made to decide who can become a shinobi, but you won't be ninjas until you pass the genin test."
"For real?!" whined the blonde.
"Why did no one tell us?" asked the girl.
The black haired boy frowned.
"What fun would it be if you were told everything? You're supposed to try to become ninjas, you should gather your own information, not expect anyone to tell you anything," Kakashi stated on a flat tone. "Whatever. Introduce yourselves, kids."
They ground their teeth in exasperation.
"Pinkie first."
"Since you're late, you should introduce yourself first," she retorted.
"Alright. The name's Kakashi Hatake, I like certain things, I don't like other things, my hobbies and goals are none of your concern. Your turn, Pinkie."
She ground her teeth harder, her fist clenched, but she started talking.
"My name is Sakura Haruno, I like taking care of others," her eyes quickly darted toward the black haired boy, "I don't like loud mouthed pushovers," her gaze darted towards the blonde. "My hobby is floral arrangement and my goal is to capture someone's heart," her eyes darted back to the black haired boy.
"Blondie, your turn."
"The name's Naruto Uzumaki, I like ramen, I don't like the 3 minutes it takes for them to cook. My hobby is to prank people and my goal is to become the Hokage and show Konoha that I'm not the plague and they should respect me!"
"That's not how it works, idiot," Sakura chastised him harshly.
"Yeah? Then I'll make it work!"
"You have to be liked first in order to become Hokage!"
"Then I'll make them like me!"
"You can't force people to like you! And if you want to be liked, you should behave better!"
"Alright kids! Playtime's finished, let's go back to the topic. Black haired boy, your turn."
"My name is Sasuke Uchiha, I like nothing, I hate a certain person. My hobby is training and I have the ambition to kill the person I hate…"
"Thank you for your input, kids. See you tomorrow at five on training ground 7 for a survival exercise. Don't eat or you'll throw up."
He disappeared without giving them the time to ask questions.
TPOT
The next morning, Kakashi woke up in Anko's arms as the sun filtered through the thick curtains. He looked at the clock on his bedside table. Eleven.
"Crap, I'm six hours late… I knew I shouldn't have taken the bait…"
"Where are you goin'?" asked a half-asleep Anko.
"I'm gonna kick the asses of a bunch of graduates who think they're genin material. Wanna watch?"
"Nah, lemme sleep…"
"I'll kick you out anyway. You of all people won't stay in my flat without me to keep an eye on you."
"Fine…but you owe me a date to make up for it…" she said through the pillow.
"Hurry up, lazy ass, get dressed."
"You didn't say that last night…"
"I wasn't six hours late last night…"
"Right…"
TPOT
"YOU'RE SUPER LATE!" exploded Naruto and Sakura when he arrived.
Naruto's clones were sticking to the vertical surface of the surrounding trees in all sorts of weird positions. They looked dumb as hell with their tongue, nose or toes as the only parts attached to the trees, doing the flag position, some more horizontally than others depending on how impractical it was to keep the position.
"Naruto, why do your clones look like they've been through twenty generations of inbreeding?" asked Kakashi.
"BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN AT IT FOR SIX HOURS, DAMMIT!" replied the very impolite boy.
"You should respect your seniors, Naruto."
"Respect is earned, master Kakashi!" exclaimed Sakura. "Usually I'd agree with you, but here you haven't exactly made us want to respect you!"
"Come on, the class idiot has learnt advanced chakra control by himself, it seems I'm doing a fine job of teaching you to work by yourselves when no one tells you what to do…"
"Self-indulgent bas…" started Sakura, but she cut herself in time, a hand over her mouth.
"Alright, see this clock? You have until noon to take these bells from my belt. There are two bells, so only two of you can make it and become genin. Of course, none of you will manage to get a bell, so you're all going to go back to the academy kicking and screaming, sweet melody…"
"I don't buy it! There's no two men team in Konoha!" exclaimed Sakura.
"There's no team taught by Kakashi either," he replied. "If you miraculously manage it, then you'll be the first two men cell."
"He's just trying to pit us against each other. The two people succeed smells like bullshit," said Sasuke.
"Totally!" agreed Sakura.
"Who gives a shit?" asked Naruto. "I'll get the bells and I can have a thousand teammates. I'll give the second bell to Sakura and we'll be rid of the sucker, hehe…"
"I won't be on a team with only you, you creep me out, Naruto…" she said with disgust painted on her face.
When he saw this look, Naruto's grin faded and his expression darkened.
"Or maybe I'll keep the bells for myself, after all. Who needs teammates?"
"As much as I don't like you, neither of us has a chance to take these bells without cooperating," stated Sasuke. "And the goal of this stupid test is to see if we can work together as a team anyway. Let's do it. Naruto, swarm Kakashi with clones. I'll take the bells while he's too busy dealing with your inbred clones."
"My clones aren't inbred!"
"Well, they really look like it."
Naruto's eyes followed Sasuke's gaze to his clones, whose eyes were looking in opposite directions from each other, or squinting, their mouth open in a blissful expression.
"Okay, they look dumb. Dammit."
"Since clones are a reflection of their maker, it reflects badly on your own intellect, so I'm taking the lead."
And the trio started bantering about who was the dumbest or most annoying or most incompetent.
"Only thirty minutes left," signaled Kakashi, smiling like he was in the Pure Lands.
Three glares turned at him.
"I've been under better killing intent, but if you try to kill me, you might have a chance of grabbing these bells."
After half an hour of pure chaos, Kakashi getting to use his favorite humiliation technique, one thousand years of pain, on Naruto – multiple times – and the boy setting off his rope trap on the ground…twice in a row…he finally put an end to their torture – and his own fun.
"You…pass. I've rarely had so much fun. This will be like being on holiday everyday for me. See you tomorrow at four!"
He disappeared without letting them say anything in return.
TPOT
"How were the brats?" asked Anko with her morning face at the dango street shop.
"I passed them."
"That good?"
"Nope, they're terrible. Well, Sasuke can use the fireball technique. Naruto has no situational awareness, Sakura is a fangirl who's only good in academics. Sasuke has potential. Oh! And Naruto can make forty shadow clones. Multiple times."
Anko choked on her dango and started coughing violently.
"Anko Mitarashi, killed at twenty-one by a dango. You'll enter in the book of most stupid deaths in the world."
He finally hit her in the back, throwing her face against the counter. After getting her breath under control, she punched him in the nose.
"You weren't helping, asshole!"
"I don't coddle people. And you didn't ask."
"I was choking, I couldn't ask, dumbass!"
She angrily bit on her dango.
"Oh! Naruto's clones are funny. I found them like that," he said, changing into a Naruto clone and sticking to the shop sign by his nose in a diagonal flag position, his eyes looking in opposite directions with an expression of bliss.
Anko choked again on the same dango.
"Should I help you?" he asked.
He changed back and gently tapped her back, removing the food stuck in her windpipe. This time, she grabbed his head and knocked it on the counter.
"Next time you make me choke on my food, I'll emasculate you," she said with a sweet expression.
"Alright, alright…"
He placed her under a genjutsu of the forty Naruto clones sticking to the trees an hour earlier and she laughed hard. So hard that he had to reanimate her with mouth to mouth. And she grabbed him by the balls and crushed them.
"Why…?" he asked with a little girl's voice, unable to conjure a normal voice in his pain.
"I nearly died three times in a row because of you. You got what you deserve. Can I watch your team when you train them? That blonde brat is just too funny, hehe…or his clones are, at least…"
"Why not? When you have free time, you can pass by. I bet there's gonna be even more of his absurdity in the future. Training starts at eleven, except for today when it started at eleven fifteen."
"Alright, noted. Now that you've pushed me out of bed and woken me up completely, there's something else I'd like to do…"
"Sorry, you've neutered me for today…"
"I've got waysss to rekindle the flame of your dead ballsss…" she said, her tongue hissing the "s" sounds.
"I'll take the bill," he said to the man at the counter.
He addressed a wide smile to Anko.
"Tell me about these…"
She ran away giggling like a school girl and he ran after her, reminding him of a scene from Make Up Paradise: High School Cosplay Edition, one of his favorite books. Yeah, he was totally a disgusting pervert, but he was fine with it.
TPOT
AN: This is a semi-crack fic, there are crack elements and more serious ones. I'll try to write more funny Naruto clones scenes. I really laughed while imagining the clones with fish gazes stuck by weird body parts to trees while holding the flag position the best they could, a whole 40 of them at that. I have nothing against inbred people per se, but considering what inbreeding can lead to and the fact that the shinobi world has a few clans practicing inbreeding, it felt like a natural punchline in this context, especially with Sasuke repeating it (Uchiha-Hyûga rivalry…).
Naruto will be OP without needing to get any kekkei genkai. He's just abusing shadow clones and massive chakra reserves to the level of exploit they could be if he had more than 2 neurons and they weren't trying to kill each other.
In 1,5 day, Naruto got from academy theory and failing at the sticking leaf exercise to sticking to trees with his nose, toes and tongue. I think it gives an idea of his insane progress rate compared with the week it took him to learn tree climbing in the Nami arc in the canon. Soon he'll be invulnerable to the 1000 years of pain technique, because he'll be able to stick to the fingers with his ass XD…
I wondered which woman Kakashi could be with and I thought that him and Anko made the most sense, since they're both traumatized, trying to ignore their problems and trying to have fun and take it easy in a different way from Asuma and Kurenai. Yugao already had a boyfriend, Kurenai and Kakashi wouldn't mesh well together and that's about it for females pre-Tsunade arc in the canon. Ayame is too young, same for Kiba's sister and the rest are as old as Minato and Kushina would be.
Naruto's motives to be Hokage are less innocent than in the canon, more based on selfishness. He also doesn't take well to being to treated like dirt under one's shoes. No messiah complex here.